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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
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HIDE YO MOMS! This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert is back with a guest bear of his own. A younger, sexier bear who has many friends in the corn industry. Yung Gravy joins Bert Kreischer and he has a robotic hand helping heal a recent injury that Bert cannot resist asking about. The two talk about corn star swagger, some wholesome comments from CornHub, and Gravy tells a story about a cameo in a certain adult production that was shot in his actual home! The two also talk about Gravy's new music, Shania Twain, Bert being a crystal girl, trying new things artistically, plus the phrase "Serving country" except its not spelled that way, and much more!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 251
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This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, the medical marvel known as Bert Kreischer has returned once again. Tom congratulates him on his recent recovery from whatever ailment he was dealing with last week, before the two talk about the Grateful Dead playing at the Vegas Sphere. They also have some thoughts about Pete Rose getting into the baseball hall of fame, which leads to them talking about some hall of fame drug lords. They also talk about muscle women, the Olympics, embarrassing irrational behavior, Karens, plus Feitelberg from Barstool pops in via FaceTime, and LeAnn comes on to tell a fishing story to emasculate Bert!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 250
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This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert is out once again, something going on with his ear or something, so Tom is joined by Nick Swardson. Nick does a mean impression of Bert so it's almost like he's still here. Speaking of someone who's still here, Nick's BFF Norm Macdonald also appears in impression form and the two talk about what he'd sound like as a ghost. The two also talk about Carrot Top's jacked physique, what Tom eats in the morning, a cool chloroform prank, Comedy Central, the greats of alt-comedy, Tom's tour name, South Park, Minnesota, and so much more! Grab some vodka and hangout.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 249
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This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert is out and the Diceman is in! Tom Segura is joined by Andrew Dice Clay for a sit-down and the two talk shop on the finer art of messing with people. Dice is looking pretty good these days, which he credits to becoming something of a gym rat late in his life. The two share experiences with arenas, which of course is something Dice has had plenty of practice doing. They then get into a discussion about gambling and Dice tells a story about how he turned a few bucks into a fortune at a blackjack table in Vegas. He doesn't gamble much these days, but he's got plenty of stories about it. They also talk about Tom, meet and greets with fans, acting, the great Joey Diaz, vices, and so much more. OHHHH!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 248
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This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom's algorithm is going off lately and he shares some fun stuff he's been seeing on his feed. Bert of course is in his own unique lane and has been really into videos of middle-class wives making dinner for their families. Bert also introduces Tom to a feud between Sean Strickland and David Goggins, before they dive deep into the 2024 Summer Olympics. They look up all the events and comment on some of the surprising sports that athletes will be competing in this year. The bears also talk about Sha'Carri Richardson, championship motivators, Snoop Dogg's 40 time, rock climbing, reveal the name of the Por Osos bear, and get a surprise facetime call from former baller Gabby Reece!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 247
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We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by comedian Earthquake! Comedy is often a natural disaster, but sometimes a star comes around that shines brighter than the rest. Tom is especially excited for this episode as Earthquake reminisces about his early days in Atlanta and LA, before praising some of his contemporaries like Mike Epps, Martin Lawrence, and Dave Chappelle. Earthquake also had the pleasure of being part of Dave Chappelle's Home Team on Netflix and he dives into that with the Bears. They also talk about bitter comedians, directors wanting to be the stars now, lifting others up, owning a comedy club, and much more!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 246
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We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by comedian and actor Lil Rel Howery! Rel talks to the Bears about the new age of comedy we're presently in and how the rise of the internet changed the game completely. They also talk about their individual lifestyle changes and how easily vices derail those choices. Bert proposes a question about sex with non-English speakers, before they talk about Waka Flocka Flame's newfound love of Donald Trump. This leads into a discussion about how old men need to quit being politicians, how Donald Trump is "ghetto", and the absurdity of modern American politics. The trio also chat about dangerous neighborhoods, Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy's comedic influence, Michael Jordan, comedy specials, the original ending of Jordan Peele's "Get Out", movie stars, and much more!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 245
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This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bart Chrysler want to take over France. What starts with some fantasy vacation booking ends with Bert developing some wild ideas about being the mayor of a small French town. Tom's been a real true crime kick lately and has prepared a buffet of famous death row last meals from a collection of very cool guys and one gal. Bert and Tom taste test and give their two cents on each meal, plus get to know the crime and type of person behind each curated dish. They also talk about some revenge movie classics. Hope you're hungry!
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 244
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We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by talk show host and possible member of the Illuminati, Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy talks about his humble beginnings meeting Adam Corolla and the early Comedy Central shows he hosted, The Man Show and Win Ben Stein's Money. They also talk about Bert's Kool-Aid habits, the proper way to pronounce Terrell Owen's name, going viral, Bob Hope's cul-de-sac of girlfriends, the best comedy duos, being honest, Dua Lipa, Ben Affleck, and so much more! Sacrifice some virgin blood and dig a tunnel to the kingdom of the lizards cause this is a good one.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 243
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We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by Will Compton, former NFL linebacker and one half of Bussin' With The Boys! Will chats with the bears about raising a family while committing to professional football, how receiving compliments from black folks hit differently, the power of saying No, and the philosophy of stoicism. They even have author Ryan Holiday jump into the show via phone to cover all things stoic. They also talk about how Tom's growing, the importance of always staying busy, and more!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 242
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We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by the great and powerful Stavros Halkias! Stavros and the Bears got soda in their hands and on their minds as they debate which diet sodas are the best. They next get into praising Zach Galifianakis and his contributions to alt-comedy. They also talk about the confederate army, Kirstie Alley's parents, pointy hats, and a very interesting auction item Bert found. Get your root beers and hang out with 3 Bears this week!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 241
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Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by comedian Brian Simpson and he and the bears talk thrill rides over some micheladas. They also talk about gift giving and the hardest person to shop for(it's Joe Rogan). They also talk about bushes, the things men are delusional about, knockouts, breadwinners, legacies, and inheritances.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 240
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Bert is down for the count this week and sitting in for him is the great Jon Stewart joining Tom Segura for 1 Bear, 1 Jew...or No Cave, 1 Bear...idk it's still 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Jon Stewart has recently returned to The Daily Show host chair on Mondays and he talks about how his return has been going. They discuss the idea of time being able to pass you by, legacies fathers leave behind for their kids, Tom's own son's colorful vocabulary, and then dip some bear paws into political issues. They also talk about the gift of gift giving, stuff Tom's sons are into right now, and Jon Stewart details his run in the WWE, having a moment at Summer slam, and turning heel on John Cena. Check it out!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 239
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We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by the great and powerful Tony Hinchcliffe! Tony talks with the bears about the origin and legacy of Kill Tony, doing arena shows, and of course the Netflix Roast of Tom Brady. They swap stories on how they each got involved with the show and the creative process behind it all. Tony even drops a hot scoop from the event just for Tom and Bert. They also talk about the good and bad parts of the roast, the performances of Andrew Shultz, Nikki Glaser, and Ben Affleck, plus much more! You can't really tell, but Tony looks like he's dressed like a UPS delivery guy. Grab a deflated football and enjoy!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 238
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We're back with another primal episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert relive some moments from this past weeks 2 Bears 5k with bowhunting athlete Cameron Hanes. Cameron is no stranger to bears, as a hunter they are one of the many types of game he takes down throughout the year. His hunting eventually attracted the eye of the one and only Joe Rogan, who picked Cam's brain about everything there is to know about bowhunting. Cameron tells the bears some hunting stories and even gets them interested in joining in as well. They also talk about proxy parenting, diet coke, relieving yourself during marathons, the competition of life, active lifestyles, some wisdom from Bert's dad.
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 237
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Jimmy Carr returns to Netflix with his latest stand-up special Jimmy Carr: Natural Born Killer out now.
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We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are fresh off a gig roasting Tom Brady on Netflix and they tell the story of how they got there and how challenging it was being a last minute addition to the show. Jimmy Carr joins them and offers his more posh take on the festivities as well. They also talk about Nikki Glaser's performance, Rob Gronkowski, the sensibilities of being Irish and English, the joy of comedy, and getting laughs in different languages.
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 236
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Be sure to visit https://drphillive.tv/ tonight at 9:30pm CDT for a livestream of Dr. Phil Live!
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Alright, we'll keep it here....Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are looking to grow and heal and have some help in the form of the one and only "Dr. Phil" (Adam Ray)! Tom and Bert start off by getting the good doctor a stiff drink, before they debate soft drinks and famous Jasons. They deep dive into Brad Pitt lore and discuss the old saying "age is just a number". "Dr. Phil" surprises the bears with some fun facts and people with funny sounding names. They also play a couple of bonding games "Dr. Phil" has come up with and share some wild stories they've experienced at gentlemen clubs. Other topics covered in this one include Alex Trebek, little people, favorite comedians, and running bits. We'll be right back!
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 235
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This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, modern medicine has brought Bert and Tom back together and they want to chat about some changes in-store for the podcast. They try to make right by the fans by reducing ads at the top and being more mindful about Bert's interruptions. Speaking of interruptions, doesn't it suck when Uber drivers interrupt your chill ride with unwanted conversation? Bert and Tom talk get into some bad Uber driver experiences, before getting into ex-Presidents they've been alive for, plus some wild thoughts on Biggie, Tupac, and Diddy. Plus the 2 Bears 5K is just around the corner and there's still time to sign-up! Other topics covered in this one include: OJ Simpson's passing, Jerrod Carmichael, boys trips, amusement park rides, 5K predictions, the "new" Bert, comas, running shoes, the Netflix series "Ripley", and more.
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 234
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Pray for Bert! This week comedian and co-creator of Chapelle's Show, Neal Brennan joins Tom Segura on 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Neal isn't coming alone as he's brought an AI Bert to commentate/interrupt throughout the episode. Tom and Neal talk comedy specials, Kevin Hart's routines, the dynamic Christina has with Tom, Neal's own relationship, public restrooms, and flushable wipes. After an artificial interruption(AI), Tom and Neal discuss the very real concerns artists and creatives have with utilizing AI, Tom's potential narrative projects, and hecklers. Check it out!
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 233
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This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert and Tom are back together to chat about whatever is going on in their heads. They talk about self-loathing, finding your "thing", Topdog, the illusion of immortality, having family goals, thirsting over pictures of young Charo, plus Bert and Tom endorse Vin Diesel for President of the United States of America.
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2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 232
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Bert fuckin sucks
episode is ruined by the sound of these two pigs loudly eating and speaking while they chew.
Bert sounds like Jabba the Hut when he eats
Seriously quite? One fucking minute and they’re already talking about money and all the shit people constantly give them a hard fucking time about wasting our time with unreliable millionnaire bullshit? Holy fucking shit are these guys toned deaf. This was my first episode in months. Bye
turned it off after 5 min
by the way yall bert and Tom were the worst on the whole roast.
40:00
Well I can't even get through this episode.What an arrogant piece of s@#t
please tell us again how good u are...🙄...Tony Tony Tony
snooze
this pod got boring
great another horrible show
48:00
I had no idea Tom was such a fag
this podcast has just gotten so bad over the last 2 years. they have run out of things to talk about.
55:00
Bert’s “moment of silence” lasted 1 second! 🤣🤣
ok lĺĺcçcccçccccçccccc kcc ç2 lkkcccckdraarrrrr hh hh hhh hhhhhhhhhh hshzhzzzzzzzsshĥhĥhĥz!rtþt yet r#uĥ h hh hhzhhzhz hhhh h hhhhhzh hhhhhhhhhhhhhzhhhhsshhhhhhhhhhhtsßssßsshhhhhhhĥsssssssassßsssss§sš2ssszss s22 sset2sssssszhßsßsĥtyes 3tR22 2eR22 22.5 hzh
now I got Brian Regan all the brain. "Moose-en! There was many moose-en!"
This podcast sucks... Especially with burt on it