On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is crawling out of her deathbed and fighting through the tail-end of the flu to give you your weekly dose of unsolicited advice and remind you that end of the day, you earned the right to chill the f*** out. Between getting conned out of birthday money for years and influencers risking their lives for content, it's clear that everyone has done enough.Episode Sponsors:Go to DiviOfficial.com/ABSOLUTELEY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order.New to Etsy? Use code HOLIDAY10 for 10% off your first purchase at Etsy.comCheck out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutelyIf you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome back to the Absolutely Not broadcast, this week Heather answers your wild voicemailsProduced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather's got a lot to unpack. We're talking nervous breakdowns before the holiday festivities, Scarlet taking a tumble, and that's before we even hit the hotline. This Thanksgiving brought all of the family drama and Heather brought all of the answers.Episode Sponsors:Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus FREE shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely.Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/absolutely.Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Visit Sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your purchase of the Shark NeverChange Air Purifier.To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code absolutely to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, the iconic, fearless, bad ass Jane Fonda stops by the studio. Heather and Jane talk about her life and what it means to be a boss babe and living legend even when it seems the world is against you.Episode Sponsors:Head to squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY.Go to diviofficial.com/ABSOLUTELY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order.Go to quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% off your first order.Exclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount and up to 35% off sets at fablepets.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is here to carry you through your Thanksgiving prep with the surprise bonus you need to get through the weekend. She’s jumping back into the DMs to answer all of your burning questions and give a little more unsolicited advice. Need help getting ready to deal with the family? Are you stressed because you still don't have the turkey order in yet? Wondering what Heather's "F***, Marry, Kill" is when it comes to the holiday meats? You came to the right place.Episode Sponsor:Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food PLUS free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather recaps the special taping in her hometown in Atlanta at the iconic Fox Theatre. However, there's no sleep over in these parts! While answering the voicemails, she talks about her time up in Athens for College Gameday and the insecurity of some men on instagram after seeing nipples on TV. Episode Sponsor:If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYRight now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyGrab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Find your bright spot this season, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/absolutely to get 10% off your first month.As a special offer for listeners, new customer get $5 OFF a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.com and for a limited time return customers get $5 off their next purchase of $30 or more too!Visit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from an emotional rollercoaster of a weekend, and joined by everyone’s favorite diva, Robin McMahan. Heather helps her prep for a date with a silver fox in LA (which unfortunately doesn’t go down), but Robin is still here dishing all of the sage advice - both on and off the hotline. Episode Sponsors:Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% ff your first purchase.My listeners get 15% off your first order when you use my code ABSOLUTELY at jennikayne.comGo to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.New to Etsy? Use the code HOLIDAY10 for ten percent off your first purchase at Etsy.comVisit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather reminisces about Halloween's past, early 2000's hits from 50 cent and B*Witched and other Hot Takes from yall on instagram. Then she hits the hotline to hear more of your voicemails on amazon wish lists, dog poop and gets reminded that she never sent her wedding thank you cards. Episode Sponsors:Discover new ways to shop everything, every day, at Saks.comGo to DiviOfficial.com/ABSOLUTELTY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order.Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY at jennikayne.com/ABSOLUTELY! #jennikaynepartnerExclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount. Visit www.fablepets.com/Absolutely for more information.Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Head to factormeals.com/absolutely50 and use code absolutely50 to get 50% off.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather gives thanks to all of you hussies who watched the special, gets brought back down to reality by Robin after being on the road for weeks and gets some unsolicited advice her DM's. Rounding out the spiral, she gets into the voicemails where one fans admits that she is also trying to do better. Episode Sponsors:Go to zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyGo to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comExclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount at fablepets.com/absolutelyGrab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is in LA and sits down with Tina Tompkins- friends and employee number 2 at Absolutely Not Productions. Heather finds out a wedding secret Christina has been keeping from her, they gossip about their trip back to Ole Miss and respond to the newest set of wild voicemails. Episode Sponsors:Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYBelieve the the hype - SKIMS has over 100,000 five star reviews for a reason. The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.comDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comExclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount. Visit fablepets.com/absolutely for more information.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from Italy, and spilling the tea on what it’s like to be on vacation alone with Jeff, where she’s retiring, and the truth behind going to sporting events in Italy, She’s full of wine, and still full of shit!Episode Sponsors:Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYNext time you’re thinking of celebrating a special moment in your life, remember that your natural diamond also protects vulnerable wildlife species and brings prosperity to many less fortunate communities around the world. Learn more at naturaldiamonds.comThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.As a special offer for listeners, new customer get $5 OFF a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.comDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Your favorite Wall Street girlie, Vivian Tu, is on the podcast to teach you everything about how to make money, how to keep it, and how to make more. New money b*tches - this one’s for you.Episode Sponsors:Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyCatch new episodes of The Kardashians on Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.Treat yourself to the best shape wear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/absolutelyDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comShop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is reporting live from Canal Street after yet another wild leg of the tour. There must have been something in the water because the weekend had everything including a 12-year-old popping up at a show, strip teases, and an episode of cops (but in real life), and that's only the beginning. Judging by the Absolutely Not-Line it looks like everyone else's weekend was just as unhinged.Episode Sponsors:Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering is offering my listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTControl Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code [ABSOLUTELY] at lumepodcast.comDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comTreat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELYProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is finally able to make a HUGE announcement: she’s coming to Netflix baby! That’s right, her new comedy special, The Son I Never Had, is coming to a couch near you on October 17th. In the midst of the celebration she’s still taking time to hit the Absolutely Not Line to show some much-needed love to the theaters teachers, draw the hard line between making new friends and borderline stalking, and whether or not you should shoot your shot at a new sky boo.Episode Sponsors:Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domaine using code ABSOLUTELYVisit in-store or online at Brooklinen.com and use code absolutelysnot for $20 off your online order of $100 or more.Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com/absolutelyThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhep.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way of being your best self.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back with friend of the pod, Jared Freid. They talk about his hilarious new Netflix special, 37 and Single, and Jared gives some sage dating advice on the proper way to hook your friends up, the best time of day to go out and find the right guy and more to get you prepped for the season.Episode Sponsors:Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutelyRight now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyTry AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYThe Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's jumps into the Instagram DMs to answer your burning questions, and talk through a dab of trauma. She also hits the hotline to prove once again that she may not always have the answers, but she'll always figure it out.Episode Sponsors:Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Deolola on instagram to learn more.Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely, plus, you get FREE shipping.Treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is home from her Tour-de-America. Her feet may be swollen, but she's got a real pep in her step after being dressed down by a large woman selling Wiener's in Chicago. She hits the hotline to answer questions like "what to do if you find out your mother-in-law has an alter ego in the bedroom?" and how to fall out of love with your Catholic priest.Episode Sponsors:If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYRight now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely.Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutelyRight now, modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyRight now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off of surviving the usual Vegas madness during her stop at Wynn, and back in the LA studio to do the work right after surviving Hurricane Hilary. She may or may not be spiraling, but that doesn't stop her from hitting the Absolutely-Not-Line to discuss how let your setbacks be the setup for a comeback, why it just might be time to get a job at SpaceX, and the art of restaurant gaslighting.Episode Sponsors:Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutelyThe perfect time to upgrade your sleep routine is now! Shop 15% off in-store at Brooklinen.comRight now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyHead to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off (up to $10 value) when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash.Upgrade your closet this summer with Quince. Right now, to go Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather shares a personal idea she's been tinkering with for a minute, that will set your ovaries on fire. She hits the Absolutely-Not-Line to discuss How to treat your elders, the ultimate fighting technique and why dudes everywhere are communicating via android and walking around naked in their homes. But in the meantime... "Imma go Eat!"Episode Sponsors:Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely. Plus, you get FREE shipping!If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYDownload the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee* off your next order.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lume Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.comTreat yourself to the best shape wear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her dear friend, Brian Kelly AKA The Points Guy, to talk everything from the surrogate journey and being a dad, to the truth about being a boss, and how to finesse those sky miles and credit card points.Episode Sponsors:Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you to Nutrafol.com and use the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.Right now, Ibotta is offering our my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely.Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off up to $10 value, when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDashHead to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELYThe Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select my show in the dropdown menu that follows.Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Delola on instagram to learn more! Please enjoy responsibly.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.