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Adult Child

Author: Andrea Ashley

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Adult Child dives deep into the lasting effects of growing up in dysfunctional families—unpacking complex and relational trauma, codependency, toxic shame, and addiction patterns with raw vulnerability and unapologetic authenticity.

Hosted by Andrea Ashley, a recovering shitshow with 17 years sober, each episode shares unfiltered insights, expert conversations, and practical tools to heal your nervous system and break free from the cycles that hold you back.

Whether you’re an adult child of alcoholics or from a dysfunctional family, navigating toxic relationships, or healing your inner child, this is your no-BS space for healing. New episodes every Wednesday & Saturday.

And damn the join The Shitshow Healing Community for live support groups and connection with fellow cycle breakers.

419 Episodes
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You didn’t choose chaos; your nervous system learned to crave it. Learn to read your body, set real boundaries, and stop mistaking calm for danger.Amy Fiedler is a trauma specialist and coach known for practical, nervous-system-informed boundary work. She grew up around alcoholism and chronic shaming—an environment of denial, gaslighting, and volatility that wired her to over-tolerate. After years of toxic, abusive relationships, she chose herself, did the work, and now helps others do the same by rebuilding self-trust with values-based boundaries.✨ What this episode explores:▪️The 3–3–3 Boundary Method — How stating a limit up to three times with matched follow-through reveals remorse, accountability, and change—or signals it’s time to reduce access.▪️From Triangulation to Truth — How to end go-between roles, speak directly, and set limits so sibling and parent dynamics stop running your life.▪️Triggers as Data, Not Danger — How asking “history or violation?” in the moment turns reactivity into principled action.▪️Safety Before Strategy — How regulating before you speak lets you set boundaries from values instead of panic.▪️From Being Chosen to Choosing Yourself — What changes when you map the behaviors you value, decline what you don’t, and align consequences so self-respect outranks scarcity.▪️Healing in Healthy Love — How co-regulation and repair with safe partners build capacity, even when old triggers surface.Amy's IG - @amythelifecoach-----------------------⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Fawning isn’t people-pleasing — it’s self-erasure in the name of survival. This episode dives into the hidden trauma response behind your need to stay small and what it takes to finally come home to yourself.Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in complex trauma and the author of Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves — and How to Find Our Way Back, a groundbreaking guide to the often-overlooked “fourth F” of trauma. In this conversation, she shares how fawning once defined her relationships, identity, and sense of safety — and how becoming a mother and confronting her own mother’s denial of abuse ultimately exposed what it costs to keep performing peace.✨ What this episode explores:▪️Fawning as a Hybrid Trauma Response — How it carries both fight-flight energy and freeze-collapse shutdown and becomes the body’s default for managing power, hierarchy, and perceived danger.▪️When Fawning Means Too Much or Too Little of You — Why some survivors over-function and take up more space while others shrink to survive, and how both patterns stem from the same survival reflex.▪️How Fawning Shows Up in Parenting — How your child’s emotions can trigger your own suppressed ones and why breaking cycles means tolerating your kid’s feelings and your own discomfort.▪️Sexual Fawning — How early sexualization and powerlessness can wire the body to equate safety with desirability and what it takes to reclaim agency, pleasure, and self-trust.▪️When Healing Requires Distance — What it means to stop performing safety with a parent who refuses accountability and how to grieve someone who’s still alive.▪️Reclaiming the Self Beneath the Survival Strategy — How somatic and parts-based healing help you reconnect with the voice, truth, and body you had to abandon to stay safe.— — —⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
You’re not needy. You’re not detached. You’re just wired for survival. This episode reveals how your nervous system learned to love — and what it takes to rewire safety.Heidi Priebe is a YouTuber, writer, and educator with a master’s degree in attachment theory who’s built a massive following for her honest, body-based approach to healing. She grew up being labeled the “difficult child,” internalizing the belief that something was wrong with her long before anyone recognized the impact of emotional neglect. Her lifelong effort to make sense of that pain led her to study how attachment and the nervous system shape the way we connect, cope, and seek safety.✨ What this episode explores:▪️How Attachment Lives in the Body — Why anxious and avoidant patterns aren’t personality flaws but survival strategies wired through early experiences of distress and safety.▪️Emotional Neglect as Conditioning — How inconsistent or rejecting caregiving trains the body to either amplify emotion to be seen or shut it down to stay safe.▪️Anxious vs. Avoidant Regulation — Why one nervous system ramps up while the other goes numb and how both are rooted in the same need for connection.▪️Perfectionism as Avoidant Attachment in Disguise — How chronic self-criticism and the drive to “get it right” are often nervous system attempts to earn belonging.▪️The Window of Tolerance — How to recognize when you’re inside or outside of regulation, and design your environment to stay within it more often.▪️Healing Attachment Through the Body — Why real recovery requires nervous system work and learning to feel safe in connection, not just think differently about it.⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Every argument has an audience you can’t see — the ghosts of the past. This episode unpacks how unhealed trauma sneaks into our relationships and how to finally stop fighting the wrong person.Dr. Tian Dayton is a clinical psychologist, Senior Fellow at The Meadows, and author of 15 books including The ACoA Trauma Syndrome and Emotional Sobriety. In this conversation, she revisits the moment that changed everything — standing in her living room, locked in a fight with her husband, and realizing they weren’t two adults arguing, but two wounded children replaying their pasts.✨ What this episode explores:▪️The Trauma Beneath “Normal” Conflict — How seemingly small arguments can carry the emotional charge of decades-old pain the body never had permission to release.▪️When Healing Turns Humbling — Why moments of regression often mean your system finally feels safe enough to touch what’s been frozen, not that you’re back at square one.▪️The Myth of the “Functional” Family — Why growing up around unspoken pain or denial can be just as damaging as overt abuse - and often harder to name.▪️Intimacy as Exposure Therapy — How relationships become the stage where our deepest attachment wounds are both triggered and given a chance to heal.▪️The Courage to Feel, Not Fix — Why emotional sobriety isn’t about control or calm, but learning to stay present when every instinct wants to shut down.▪️Healing as a Group Effort — How true recovery requires co-regulation, witnessing, and community - not just self-awareness or solitary work.— — —⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Ever wonder what happens when the host of a trauma podcast finds herself right back in the trenches?A story about what happens when healing collides with old survival patterns — and how the body can pull you back into the past, even when your mind knows better. This isn’t a “how-to.” It’s truth-telling about the gap between understanding your trauma and actually feeling safe inside your own skin.✨ What this episode explores:Childhood relational trauma wires us for trauma bonds — When love and pain come from the same person, the nervous system fuses attachment with fear. As adults, we mistake that familiarity for connection and call it love.Healing from the neck up leaves the body stuck in the past — Insight can’t rewire survival responses. You can name every pattern and still have a body that flinches, freezes, or fawns like the child who first learned danger was love.Regression isn’t failure; it’s unfinished business surfacing — When old patterns return, it doesn’t mean you’ve backslid. It means your system finally feels safe enough to process what once overwhelmed you. The “relapse” is readiness in disguise.Trauma bonds aren’t about the other person, they’re about your body seeking familiarity — You don’t stay because you want pain; you stay because your nervous system confuses chaos and inconsistency with connection. It feels like home because it once was.Managing someone else’s dysfunction can become a lifelong neural pathway — If you grew up regulating a parent, control equals safety. As an adult, your brain lights up when chaos appears — the same highway it’s been driving your whole life.Grief is often the missing layer in recovery — You can understand and accept the past intellectually yet still carry what you never grieved. Healing deepens when the body finally mourns what it lost — safety, innocence, possibility.— — —⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
After an eleven-month hiatus, Adult Child is back... messier, deeper, and more honest than ever.Host Andrea Ashley returns to revisit what it really means to heal from a dysfunctional family, through brutal honesty, emotional truth, and humor (of course).This season kicks off with vulnerability and chaos — trauma bonds, repetition compulsion, and a story she’s never told before.Buckle the hell up. Healing’s not linear, and it’s about to get real.— — —⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/ Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Toxic shame isn’t just a feeling—it’s a state of being, hardwired into our nervous system through childhood experiences. Let's break down the neuroscience behind toxic shame and see how we can begin to rewire our brains for healing.​Robyn Gobbel is a psychotherapist specializing in relational neuroscience, translating complex brain science into practical strategies for parents and professionals. She authored "Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors," providing insights into understanding and addressing challenging child behaviors. Key Takeaways:What Makes Shame Toxic? Unlike guilt or healthy shame, toxic shame makes you believe you are fundamentally flawed, not just that you made a mistake.How Toxic Shame Gets Wired Into the Brain Early experiences of misattunement, neglect, or invalidation shape how we see ourselves and stay locked in our nervous system.Rewiring Shame Through Disconfirming Experiences Healing requires new, safe experiences that contradict old shame-based expectations of rejection and abandonment.Why We Keep Recreating Trauma in Relationships Our brains unconsciously seek familiar dynamics, hoping for a different outcome—but healing means consciously breaking those cycles.The Role of Memory Reconsolidation in Healing We can rewire our brain’s response to shame by reshaping how we store and process painful past experiences.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodCheck out La Pure and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://www.lapurecosmetics.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/ Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
What happens when the very people who were supposed to teach you love taught you pain instead? When you’ve been wired for abandonment and neglect, it’s no wonder your nervous system confuses chaos for connection.Lisa A. Romano is a certified life coach, bestselling author, and leading voice in codependency and inner child recovery. After growing up in a home defined by addiction, denial, and emotional neglect, Lisa spent years chasing love in all the wrong places before realizing her patterns were rooted in unresolved childhood wounds.🔑 Mother Hunger & Emotional Neglect – How unmet childhood needs for nurture and safety leave us chasing love in all the wrong places as adults.🔑 Mistaking Pain for Love – Why chaotic relationships feel familiar and safe to adult children of dysfunctional families, even when they’re toxic.🔑 The Cycle of Self-Abandonment – How people-pleasing, perfectionism, and ignoring our needs are survival strategies that keep us disconnected from ourselves.🔑 Reprogramming the Subconscious – Why awareness alone isn’t enough, and how tools like meditation, journaling, and rewiring negative self-talk can change deep patterns.🔑 Breaking the Family Denial System – How speaking the truth about your childhood creates liberation, even if it means being labeled “crazy” by your family.🔑 The Path to Self-Reclamation – Why healing requires radical self-honesty, self-compassion, and releasing the need for others’ validation.Our Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
What if the pain you’re feeling today isn’t about the breakup, but about every wound that came before it? When abandonment gets triggered, it pulls you straight back into the shame and fear of childhood.Susan Anderson is a psychotherapist and author known as the leading expert on abandonment and healing attachment wounds. Her groundbreaking work comes not only from clinical expertise, but from living through the pain of being suddenly abandoned after nearly two decades of marriage.The Invisible Drain on Self-Esteem – Why abandonment trauma creates a chronic leak in self-worth that no achievement or relationship can fully patch until the wound itself is addressed.The 5 Stages of Abandonment – Shattering, withdrawal, internalizing, rage, and lifting — the swirl every survivor cycles through, and why knowing the stages helps normalize the chaos.How Childhood Shame Echoes in Adult Love – The rejection, neglect, or humiliation we experienced as kids resurfaces in relationships, fueling self-blame and emotional panic when faced with loss.Why We Choose Abandoning Partners – The unconscious pull toward people who can’t meet us emotionally, and how that cycle reenacts our earliest wounds.The Role of the Inner Child – How creating a “Big Me/Little Me” relationship gives us a way to reparent ourselves and redirect attachment energy inward.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Comments (17)

Mary L

the volume of the commercials would take up my nextdoor neighbors!! JFC

Nov 8th
Reply

Ashley hill

💚WATCH>>ᗪOᗯᑎᒪOᗩᗪ>>LINK>👉https://co.fastmovies.org

Feb 5th
Reply

Emilia Gray

It is important to be committed to the process and willing to put in the effort to improve your relationship. If you're not sure if you want to put in the effort to save the relationship, then there's no point. Seeing a therapist means bringing up difficult emotions and having uncomfortable conversations in order to resolve your marriage problems. You can find a lot of benefits here https://www.biancaaarons.com/couples-therapy-san-francisco

Feb 1st
Reply

Noah Spurs

thank you very much for this episode. particularly appreciate willingness to exhibit what an IFS session is like (many professionals on podcasts seem to avoid revealing inner workings of their sessions) and willingness to be vulnerable for the benefit of all of us. 🙏🙏

Sep 13th
Reply

Raymond

nope. was really hard to find the pod. nearly impossible... I can see why lol

Sep 7th
Reply

The Yellow Kid

who gives a Fuck ..... this podcast is so relaxing and relatable

Jul 2nd
Reply

The Yellow Kid

mike is awesome ive been scared to hoing but i listen alot #Shitshowhere

May 18th
Reply

The Yellow Kid

wow this is me too the t .. i used sex as a way to get love and br validated by the person i was having sex with and after it would feel empty and non fulfilled

Mar 16th
Reply

The Yellow Kid

she made such sense

Mar 16th
Reply

The Yellow Kid

change the intro back it was more fun

Aug 30th
Reply

The Yellow Kid

woooooow he hit that on the money ..anxious deff i will sacrifice myself just too let there be peace

Apr 11th
Reply

مرتضى ستار

great

Mar 21st
Reply

The Yellow Kid

it's like she understands my inner child i lost my faith because of how i was treated as a child with no way out

Jan 24th
Reply

Donna

and thank you for doing this!

Jan 20th
Reply (1)

Donna

Great episode!

Jan 20th
Reply

Happy⚛️Heretic

-Insightful. Very much needed catharsis & validation.

Dec 12th
Reply
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