Back to the Barre

"I could watch a 24 hour live stream of the shit that Cathy and Vivi talk about," remarks Christi as Season 3's "No Room for Rotten Apples" is another Cathy-centric episode. It's not the most eventful of affairs as the producers even included an inordinate amount of dance footage this week to compensate, but what is there is... deeply weird. For example: Cathy puts Vivi in charge of cataloguing her entire collection of ceramic bunnies. Why? Who knows!Cathy introduces The Apple Tree, her Cathy-themed replacement for Pyramid, and Jalen and Mari are squarely at the bottom. If they don't shape up during this week's competition in Columbus, Cathy is threatening to remove one of them from the team. Why does she need to cut anyone though? She has an ideal seven kids to match Abby, is this a production developed conflict? To make the conflict extra needless, Cathy insists that Jalen perform his first contemporary and triple pirouette, something Jalen isn't remotely ready to pull off. The undue extra attention on Jalen's teaching starts to upset Mari's mother, who is worried her daughter will be comparatively unprepared for her solo. It's up to Anthony to prep them both, but the best he can do is give Mari a literal panic attack!Meanwhile Abby continues filming for Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, bringing Maddie out to LA to perform a solo. But where is the rest of the ALDC? Tune-in to find out how Maddie really ended up solo.Quotes“Paige heard [the crew] talking about Menage a Trois’ and Paige was like ‘Oh my mom loves that.’” She meant the wine, they meant something else." (6:05-6:15 | Kelly)“On her podcast, Abby said something nice about Kelly and I. Now guys, there was a freaking solar eclipse this week, so clearly everything is out of alignment.” (18:20-18:30 | Christi)“[Anthony] says that she hired him because of his resume so she needs to let him work. I’m pretty sure that she didn’t hire him. Well he’s related to Jimmy Chriss. WHAT?! I did not know that. How do you know that? Because I hate the guy.” (51:46-52:07 | Christi & Kelly)“Poop turds?! I’m like who’s poop turds?! And then she’s always on us about being classless and I’m like you just said the word poop turds on national television, and now I’ve said poop turds on our podcast 87 times. ” (1:07:08-1:07:21 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this special episode of Back to the Barre, Christi and Kelly invite you to join them live from Mom's Weekend at Ohio University for a moderated Q&A in front of a nearly 1000 person crowd! With so many great questions from both the moderators and the audience, it only seemed fit to share them with our little Bitchettes as we're certain you've all been dying to ask some of these questions yourself! Like what do Christi and Kelly think of the Jojo Siwa rebranding? Do they care about the Jojo Siwa rebranding? Do they even really know Jojo Siwa? There are also many non-Jojo Siwa related questions that are certain to spill the tea you're searching for.Quotes“I just want everyone in this room to realize that we understand that Dance Moms would never be made today and the things I said on national television would not fly, ok? We apologize. We know that. We understand that it's problematic on many levels. Ok, you're the ones who keep replaying it." (7:09-7:27 | Christi & Kelly)“We knew that we could get mad at each other and that it was going to be ok. I think we all felt that way, all the moms on the show. Like we would fight with Melissa and everybody's like how does Melissa even talk to you guys, you were so mean? It's like if you have a sister. You fight with your sister and you hate her one second, but then like the next day you're going to be best buddies.” (22:21-22:45 | Christi & Kelly)“It was a top secret thing. Even the crew didn't know I was coming back!... If you ask the moms you know what they thought that they were waiting for? They thought they were waiting for a cake. There like we thought we were getting a cake because we won.” (36:34-37:01 | Christi)“Oh my god The Amazing Race. I actually applied for Kelly and I to be on The Amazing Race. I probably would have died. We would have both died!” (51:50-51:59 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“You were in Aruba and I had to work on my vacation, so I deserved a coffee cup,” Kelly says as she reflects on how unfair it was that even though the moms were ostensibly promised time off while Abby was filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, she still got stuck being a stooge for the production this week while Christi enjoyed some R&R. Season 3's "An Apple a Day Keeps Abby Away" doesn't quite shake the ALDC entirely, but it's a Candy Apples centric episode this week as the producers see if Cathy might be able to sustain her own spin-off (spoilers she didn't).The episode begins with Abby in Los Angeles searching for a new location for her LA studio. Not content to leave the moms with nothing to do, she send Kelly, Jill and Holly to spy on Cathy's team in order to see what she's up to. Cathy meanwhile is bringing on new talent to try and round out her team with recruits Hadley Walts, Mari Dudash and Campbell Reynolds. We also see the return of Nicaya and Black Patsy, who are ready to go toe to toe with the ALDC once more. It's a volatile mix of people that the producers hope will lead to some drama, or at the very least Black Patsy assaulting Jill's nose?Quotes“Yes, I think Maddie and Mackenzie would follow you [Abby] to LA because you’re looking out for them! I don’t think we’d even be asked. Wait, last week you sabotaged my daughter at a local dance competition and you think I’m going to go to LA with you and trust you? Ok!" (24:57-25:15 | Christi & Kelly)“If anybody is going to get my little girl known and get the doors open for her it’s Cathy. Ooorrr maybe it’s Dance Moms. I mean it’s just a guess. Just a thought. Yeah I’m thinking it’s Dance Moms.” (32:22-32:36 | Christi & Kelly)“Well we’re all talking about Abby abandoning her studio in Pittsburgh but that’s all she ever wanted. Yeah I don’t know why she ever started one there. You have a point. You know like she never wanted to be there; she was always like she should be in New York or LA and training people to be on Broadway and all that. Like I don’t know why she stayed in Pittsburgh so long.” (51:07-51:31 | Christi & Kelly)“I just need to point out that not everyone missed Abby. I didn’t miss her at all. I didn’t miss her at all either. I’m sure my kids didn’t either. ” (1:23:56-1:24:03 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“This is like Top of the Pyramid for Suckular behavior,” says Christi as things really do suck on "Two Girls, One Solo". First of all, what sicko thought it was ok to name the episode THAT!? There are children here! Second, this episode is easily in Christi's Top 3 worst Dance Mom experiences so you know it's a rough one.Abby preps the next "powerful" group number, one that's dedicated to those living with cancer. It's a subject she cares about deeply, having lost her father to cancer. It hits especially close to home for Melissa who also lost her mother... but for some reason the show also wants to convince you that Kelly's dad died as well? Is this about Kelly's fight with Christi somehow?Meanwhile Abby decides to pit Maddie and Chloe against each other by giving them the same solo to perform. Christi notes this isn't fair to Chloe who isn't receiving secret training the way Maddie is, but Abby could care less. When Abby's little ploy doesn't go as planned, she takes matters into her own hands. Tune-in to hear the full story of what the cameras didn't show.Quotes“Let’s just say Two Girls, One Solo/Two Girls, One Cup… whoever named this is an actual degenerate of society. How dare you name a show with children Two Girls, One Solo. How dare you." (6:02-6:21 | Christi)“We have to take a drink, because I think that is the nicest Abby has ever been to our three kids. Holy shit, and she smiled at me! The apocalypse is coming. Cheers!” (18:46-18:58 | Christi & Kelly)“When Asia was like, ‘My dad’s dog, Diablo, died before I was born,’” I hit the floor. Like I can’t believe [she said that], and she was so sincere about it… She talked about that dying dog before. No, that was her crying because she wanted a puppy and Kristie Ray wouldn’t let her have a puppy; you’re getting your dogs mixed up. Oh, she likes to cry over dogs though.” (45:31-45:58 | Christi & Kelly)“Jill and I found your [Melissa] daughter learning her dance [outside of normal hours] and she was like, ‘Fuck you, you know nothing.’” Because I was like, ‘She learned the dance last week.’” How about Abby going, ‘What difference does it make? You ll know damn well Maddie can learn the dance in one hour and go out there and do it,” … Then why are you teaching her the week before everyone else?!” (54:47-55:07 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What could have ticked Kelly off enough to once say, “I always knew in the back of my head that the day would come where Christ would stab me in the back, and you know what? She did...”? If you ask either Kelly or Christi now they'd be hard pressed to give you an answer! It's time once again for Christi and Kelly to be fighting one another for some reason as the second half of "Boy Crazy, Mom Crazy" just about has everyone up in arms.Jill still believes Kelly is taking the opportunity Abby has given Brooke for granted, but Kelly is still worried about what Abby has in store for her daughter. What she might not have expected was Abby setting Brooke up on a date with her fellow senior dancer Kevin. For all the talk about "No Boys Allowed", Abby sure seems to love to make exceptions.Jill also starts a spat with Cathy as the ALDC arrives at competition, which only manages to worsen Cathy's already fragile state as Anthony has continued to increase tensions over at their own studio. Mickey is strongly considering transferring Gino to the ALDC, and Cathy could seemingly care less whether any of her dancers stick around.But how do Jill and Kelly end up fighting? Are these Bitches still going on about not calling that one time? Somethings never change it seems, though stick around for a rare moment of Abby being unambiguously nice for once!Quotes“[Abby] says I think Kevin could charm the pants off of anyone. He’s quite demure for a teenager. Ok, it is a little unnerving that Abby just said a 17 year old could charm the pants right off of anybody… He’s a minor Abby settle down!" (12:06-12:31 | Christi & Kelly)“I’m in my interview and I say this is the worst fight we’ve ever been in. Are friendship will never be the same after some of these things. You know what’s the funniest part about that? You ready? Neither of us remember this fight.” (21:06-21:22 | Christi & Kelly)“Let’s just drink, Cathy’s gonna wear fur in the next scene. Oh yay. Between Cathy and Jill I’m going to become an alcoholic. Ha, THAT’S the reason.” (28:18-28:27 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby says that they look “leggy” which is good. They were leggy. They were fucking eleven! Eleven year olds are leggy. Their legs are the only part of them that grow.” (40:51-41:00 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“I’m ready to shoot myself” is not something you want to hear aloud too often, but this week our beloved Bitches find themselves repeating that A LOT as they struggle to get through what might the first episode to really push them over the edge. "Boy Crazy, Mom Crazy" is such a wild episode that this recording managed to be almost two hours long and we still only managed to cover half the episode!Abby is unsurprisingly upset with the ALDC after losing again to Cathy and spends Pyramid calling Kendall a crybaby, pretending Nia mad a ton of mistakes for some reason, and somehow complimenting Brooke but still placing her on the bottom. She singles out Paige with praise for standing up to Cathy and Anthony... even though Abby made her do that and still somehow victim blames her for letting it happen?Abby assigns Brooke to the Senior Group to join their upcoming performance. Kelly worries Brooke is being set-up to fail as Brooke hasn't received the same year of prep the rest of the group has had. Jill takes offense to Kelly being "ungrateful" and tattles to Abby about it! And yet somehow Kelly and Christi are the ones who end up in a huge fight about it?!Quotes“I’ll do a reenactment of Chloe when she got home at 2:45 or 3:00 AM. Really?! Yeah. Ugh those bad girls, I wonder where they get that from? I don’t know." (7:57-8:08 | Christi & Kelly)“[Cathy] says Gino has been texting Maddie and Cathy can’t have any of her dancers fraternizing with her enemies. This is stupid. Just making sure that we all think this is stupid. We all think this is stupid? Yeah. Cause like what are they saying to each other?” (29:15-29:31 | Christi)“This could possibly be one of the lines, that if we had to wrap all of the problems up of Dance Moms in one sentence, it could potentially be this line. She’s like you’re skinny, you’re blonde and you’re pretty. You’re telling me no one at school hates you? Wake-up! It’s psychotic!” (43:17-43:38 | Christi)“You take the coffee cup, you [flip it] upside down and are tapping the bottom. And I’m like you get that drip girl, you get that last drip out of there! I fucking rewound it three times. I was laughing so hard and you getting that last drop of “coffee” on your tongue, like I HAVE to chug this coffee cup. It was amazing.” (54:44-55:08 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"On a regular Dance Moms episode you drink on a scale from one to five. A reunion is a one to ten scale," says Christi as the Bitches start the 2nd Part of Season 3's reunion special "Tell All". While it might be a pretty easy episode for Christi herself, there's still enough Abby depravity to go around!Kristie Ray joins the discussion and goes on the offensive, taking the other moms to task for complaining about Asia crying. This is confusing to Jill as she professes that none of the moms care that Asia cries, only that they think it's weird it's being showcased as something to be ashamed of and that Asia isn't being held to the same standards as their own children. Abby and Kristie respond to the by calling Chloe a crybaby!Soon Cathy joins the mix and things get heated quickly. Paige opts out of her solo performance so she can avoid dancing in front of Cathy, leading Kelly to take Cathy to task for her recent conduct at competition. Cathy can barely manage to defend herself before getting into an argument with Abby. Professionally speaking Abby doesn't handle it well. Tune-in to see what nice words Abby has for Cathy's mother!Quotes“And did you notice through out the entire thing how much time they spent whispering to each other? No, you pay way too much attention. Well I’m trying to look for the little interesting things in the background so I stop paying attention first of all to my Miss Piggy curls, and second of all to the nonsense happening on stage that makes me want to poke my own eyes out!" (17:05-17:23 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby said the moms all think you and Asia are here for an ulterior motive. She was! She came because she had her own show and they were using our audience to elevate her on her platform!” (27:25-27:37 | Christi)“Jeff asks if [Melissa] is bothered by the fact that Sophia can out-spin Maddie? And at this point Jeff should have been removed from the stage immediately. Not only are you making millions of dollars of our trauma and dancing, but the fact you said spin vs turn? Stop talking.” (52:58-53:15 | Christi)“I cannot believe I’m the only mom who didn’t go to jail. Well I should say the only mom, I don’t think Holly went to jail. Wait…I don’t actually think a lot of people went to jail. I’M THE ONLY ONE THAT WENT!” (1:03:59-1:04:09 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“This is not an opportunity to set the record straight, HERE is the opportunity now 10 years later to set the record straight,” explains Christi as even when the moms got to explain themselves, they were never REALLY allowed to. Consequently there's no hell for our Bitches quite like a Dance Mom's Reunion episode, and Season 3's "Tell All" is a two parter to make matters worse. It's always an excuse to get everyone riled up, and it riles these moms still a decade later. From the awkward stools the moms had to sit on to the bizarre choices made by hair and make-up, Christi and Kelly each despised the experience. Yet they also somehow managed to completely forget they fought in this episode, and over the same old-nothing argument they'd had earlier this season no less! Well... at least the girl's dances this week were pretty good?Things get off to a rocky start with Abby immediately gunning for both Christi and Kelly, though saving her worst remarks for Chloe that contain a level of indecency that remain unmatched. Melissa and Jill receive softball questions, but Abby chastises Melissa for not allowing her wedding to be public and filmed for the show. Meanwhile Holly discusses Abby's fashion advice, which she admits is genuinely good. It's funny that Abby can't seem to take her own fashion advice, but at least she isn't dressed as badly as Cathy!Quotes“I have deep-seated trauma any time I see anything that even looks like a reunion show. The minute I see a stage I want to vomit. Do you feel that way? Yes, and I want to vomit looking at us." (08:45-08:58 | Christi & Kelly)“She had to make sure [people knew that she had been] verbally assaulted and physically assaulted. But we were only allowed to say she was a bully.” (17:19-17:25 | Christi)“The audience says during the season [that] you said Kelly isn’t very bright. Do you still feel this way? Meanwhile it’s like Melissa did you buy your wedding dress and then this one is like do you think Kelly is a stupid motherfucker?” (37:17-37:29 | Christi)“Anybody who watched this show who thinks that Abby was not a horrible human-being to my daughter, watch that sentence! She said you don’t want me to call her stupid anymore instead of Chloe? I looked up other words: dim, dimwitted, half-wit I got lots of words. You fucking bitch.” (50:35-50:55 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“God, the first statement [of the episode] irritated me” says Kelly as she straps in for "The Mother of All Specials", Dance Mom's own Mother's Day celebration. For a show with plenty of moms you'd imagine the producers could focus in on pretty much any one of them, and yet this is an Abby centric episode. As Abby says, "Whom knows more about being a mother than Abby Lee Miller?" As these Bitches would like to point out, Abby does not have kids! But Abby does have her own mother, Maryen Lorrain Miller, whom she heads out to visit as clips about motherhood from previous seasons play out with new Abby "insights".We would sincerely like to know how much Abby was paid to say nice things, as she laboriously details how caring of a pseudo-mother she has been to the girls of the ALDC. She reframes past events where she was paid to be nice as signs of her benevolence, yet still manages too sprinkle a few insults towards Brooke in there.Quotes“This teacher walked by because we have a director’s lounge…and she had a coffee cup. She walked by and I’m like, “I’m so glad you went to the director’s lounge!” and she looked at me and was like,”You know this isn’t coffee right?” Nobody ever has coffee in those. Fuck no! Not at 2 o’clock at a dance competition are you kidding?" (06:42-07:04 | Christi & Kelly)“They show Melissa pushing Abby in the pool, which I think is the best moment in my life. But did you notice that Melissa is the one they told to push her in the pool, because if I had pushed her into the pool she’d have probably killed me!” (18:07-18:20 | Kelly)“[Abby] says in her interview, “My mother showered her students with love and kindness. She’s a very giving woman and I think I picked up a few of those qualities to!” HA HA! Then they go to the one/only moment Abby ever did anything nice with our kids. And she did not set that up! She didn’t have anything to do with it other than getting paid.” (43:10-43:29 | Christi & Kelly)“I never wanted her to look back and be like, “Oh I didn’t get to go to my 8th grade farewell because you made me work!” Right. And you did do a good job of making sure they did that but it’s funny because it’s like: Well, she might have not gone to her 8th grade farewell, but she went to Teen Choice, you know!” (51:44-52:04 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"How does Abby get to call him an ass like that and then acted shocked when he responds back," wonders Christi as things begin to go downhill fast on the second half of "Candy Apple Showdown". With the ALDC arriving at the Masters of Dance Art Invitational, Kelly preps for what remains one of her worst Dance Mom memories.Things get off to a rocky start with Cathy and Vivi M.I.A., so Abby has to start taunting Cathy's Dance Dads instead. But Dance Dad Rick's aggressive response to these gestures proves to be the first of many heated confrontations. Not too long after, Anthony accuses Christi of touching Candy Apples's props and gets a little too handsy. By the time Cathy returns she's making loudly clear with Anthony how poorly she believes Paige is performing during the Kids With Guns group number. Abby, overhearing these jabs, decides to make a spectacle of the situation and informs Paige directly what they were saying about her, and encourages her to stand up for herself.It's a sad state of affairs this week; certainly going to need more than three beers for this episode.Quotes“I knew exactly what it was [that Abby was referencing] and I was like oh I get it! But then I was like, did they show that? I don’t think so. You and I got it but nobody else did. Yeah. Well, story of our lives!” (09:29-09:41 | Christi & Kelly)“Do you feel we always say the same stuff in every episode? Yes. Ok. Yes, yes yes yes.” (19:41-19:46 | Christi & Kelly)“Do [Abby and Cathy] both like get along now? Yeah, but they were not always best friends. That to me is insane that people have the nerve to say that and act like they have authority. How many times did we sit there and have Abby hold up production because she did not want to be on camera with Cathy?” (24:30-24:48 | Christi)“I say in my interview that Paige and I came back because I wanted her to sit in the audience and show the adults that they can’t knock her down. Production made you say that, but go on. Yeah.” (32:30-32:34 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [BARRE] atLumeDeodorant.com! #lumepodwww.LumeDeodorant.com“This is a drinky episode,” says Christi as she announces drink four only three lines into the first page of the "Candy Apple Showdown" notes. Though Bitch #1 and #2 are both incapable of drinking along this week, unfortunately for them this hulking two hours of an episode was just too much for one sitting, so they best prep themselves for when things get really dicey because The ALDC is back up against Cathy's Candy Apples and things are already off to a bumpy start.Abby's stint hosting The View was fun, but it cut into group rehearsal time with competition only days away. So Abby's focus is of course solos, no need to get that potentially controversial "Kids with Guns" group dance in order! With everyone focusing on solos, Kelly takes Brooke to a music producer to start getting a leg up on her career. Afterwards the moms take all the girls out for ice skating in the city, but ice skating is one of Abby's explicitly prohibited activities and the fallout is something none of the kids want, but comply after undue pressure from the moms (Melissa even makes Maddie cry!).Meanwhile tensions are growing between Kristie Ray and the other moms. First she doesn't allow Asia to skate with the girls and then she starts picking fights with Christie?! Even Cathy's camp is getting into shouting matches with one another! There's only one outcome to all this and it ain't looking pretty.Quotes“I don’t know if I would take Abby’s evaluation of what’s appropriate for children to heart if you’re a parent. I don’t know if I would use that as my barometer.” (09:34-09:42 | Christi)“I really look back on Kristie now with hindsight, because I think in the moment we’re always just so like UGH whenever there’s a new person. I think that you and I could have really befriended her.” (15:56-16:07 | Christi)“I don’t understand why she thought that it was so wrong for a seven year old to cry? I don’t know. Maybe she went to the Abby Lee Miller school of parenting.” (35:37-35:45 | Christi & Kelly)“If you guys had seen that contract you’d die. You weren’t allowed to open candy during a theater performance. You’re not allowed to ice skate, roller skate and god you weren’t allowed to ski. I get skiing, but you weren’t allowed to bike. You weren’t allowed to do anything but dance!” (50:27-50:45 | Christi & Kelly) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"The foot is done!" exclaims both Christi and Kelly as the arduous Mackenzie's Broken Foot Saga finally comes to a close. After all, would Melissa let Mackenzie's foot stay broken if it meant not getting to dance on The View? On Season 3's "The View From the Top", the ALDC hits New York for a special appearance on The View that is being guest hosted by Abby, all the while prepping for Masters of Dance Art Invitational the following day. In short the group needs to learn and rehearse five routines in two days time while combating Abby's ever inflating ego (one of those days is for The View so technically make that one day).The Mackenzie vs Asia rivalry hits a breaking point for Melissa when it seems, even if just for a moment, that Abby might choose Asia over her daughter for The View performance. Setting aside the ridiculous notion that Abby would ever let that happen, the possibility does make Melissa feel momentarily that she too could be treated like a Hyland or a Lukasiak. Between Kristie Ray's thank you card, Abby's weird threatening speech to Mackenzie and Melissa's pleading, it's a lot of spilled milk in one episode for a conflict that as our Bitches have repeatedly made clear is very obviously going to end with Mackenzie performing on The View!Meanwhile, Cathy is holding auditions to fill out her Candy Apples team in preparation for the New York Invitational. Her hopes to land a new boy on the team hit a snag when only one boy shows up for the audition!Quotes“I really have dropped the ball on life lately, because I’m just constantly running to get a drink before we record.” (06:16-06:23 | Christi)“It was a little inappropriate for The View but GOD her body was bangin’.” (21:03-21:08 | Christi)“Abby bought these costumes on the streets of New York, and half of them we have on our own little booty tops or whatever that we wore to class. But it’s hysterical because I think she charged the production company $300 per costume! They were $10 each, maximum!” (35:04-35:22 | Christi & Kelly)“I will give Abby a compliment. I, to this day, love the fact that our kids know terminology and there’s a million people who do not, who are professional dancers!” (1:03:48-1:03:56 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Do you want to vomit on her, or do you want to vomit on her?” asks Christi as things are as painful as ever on "May I Have This Dance". After coming in second yet again, Abby is fed up with everyone (but Maddie) and is starting to get particularly cruel with her comments during Pyramid (of course except for Maddie). Paige's treatment of the flag was supposedly so bad that she did "a disservice to this country," meanwhile Maddie was so good that Abby dubs her "America the Beautiful". It's a new level of awful that certainly caused no psychological damage whatsoever!Abby somewhat cheers up when she gets the call that she's been asked to co-host an episode of The View with an ALDC performance. The only person more excited than Abby about this news is Melissa, who franticly tries to make Mackenzie presentable as completely healed from her damaged foot and ready to dance. This strikes the moms and even Abby as suspicious, so Asia instead practices with the group for The View, but that won't keep Melissa from doing everything she can to get Mackenzie a spot in that line-up.In the meantime the girls are set to perform at Energy in Ohio, and Maddie has been "promoted" to co-choreographer and won't be joining in the group dance. Abby claims this is to teach the group self reliance so they don't just follow Maddie, but the moms point out that the girls are always being told to follow Maddie's lead! It wouldn't be a Dance Mom's lesson without contradictions!Quotes“Fun facts with Christi! A bunch of bullshit that no one really needs to know!” (05:24-05:30 | Christi)“The doctor said she had to wait two weeks [to dance again] and Abby said I’m not comfortable going against the doctor; it’s not been two weeks yet. Now Kelly, when Paige had a broken foot and you asked for two weeks off she was like: You know what? We’re going to have Paige jump round on the broken foot, with the cast, at a dance recital that we don’t need somebody in!” (15:58-16:23 | Christi & Kelly)“Every dance title that woman gives my daughter or your kid is a middle finger to the mother.” (19:40-19:47 | Christi)“I said Christi Ray has two sides. She has the perfect Dance Mom side and then the I’m a Stage Mom Bitch side. And I’m like wait no, I’m on her side.” (44:46-44:53 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Life is just a lesson," remarks Christi, "My Instagram bio literally says I make mistakes...some are on TV." At least she can be assured that on the second half of "The Politics of Dancing" the only one making mistakes as per usual is Abby, who is determined to pit the kids against one another no matter the cost.As the ALDC arrives in Philadelphia for Powerhouse Dance Invitational, Abby is already setting the girls up for failure. The group number "Free the People" requires the girls to dress in American Flag regalia, which means the moms have to get creative with their costume sourcing as they know if they cut-up a real American flag the controversy the producers are hoping for will be unbearable. Plus Abby wants the girls to vote between Maddie and Chloe over who performs the best solo (like it's a democracy?). Abby believes this will encourage the girls to do better, but the results might as well be a foregone conclusion considering Maddie is always given the best choreography. It's just an excuse to make Chloe feel bad because Christi won't kiss Abby's ass.Asia and Christi continue to be a thorny presence for the rest of the group since... well that's why they were brought on the show! Though the other girls clearly like Asia, she isn't reprimanded for crying or messing up choreography as every other girl would be. It's enough to rile up both Jill and Kelly, who call out the double standard but are framed as coming after a young child. It's just Abby's world and they're suffering in it.Quotes“Well I will gossip about you on the phone. I’ll get you. I’ll call Kelly! I’m gonna call Kelly. We’re gonna say you’re an asshole on the phone…TO EACH OTHER! Cause we’re the cool moms.” (10:03-10:16 | Christi & Kelly)“Anybody who thought that this show was scripted, I can see why because nobody is really this insane.” (16:33-16:40 | Christi)“There are a few things that Chloe talks about as traumatic Dance Moms experience, and this is in her Top Two. Oh yeah, this still hurts her at 22 years old.” (29:11-29:22 | Christi)“Abby was talking about the fact that at that point I would not do meet and greets with them, like that we did our own stuff. And I’m like right but all the other kids do stuff and you’re not picking on them because you’r making money from them.” (44:47-45:02 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [BARRE] at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod"You are 15 you piece of shit," is not exactly what Abby said to Brooke, but Christi couldn't have summed up the mood better as Abby froths at the mouth after losing to Cathy. As "The Politics of Dancing" begins, Abby is already throwing everyone under the bus, except for newcomer Asia whom Abby claims is upstaging the rest of the girls and putting them in their place (despite the fact Asia took first with non-Abby choreography and the girls did relatively fine in competition). To showcase her new star, Abby designs a patriotic group number that will feature Asia prominently waving an American flag. But as any Dance Mom will tell you, nothing scares them more than the dreaded "prop". Could Abby's pro-Asia stance be one prop fumble away from ending?Melissa meanwhile is focused on getting her children homeschooled, with the aim of letting the kids have more time to practice dance. While Holly preaches the importance of education, as far as the show is concerned it's dancing first and school second. It doesn't make much difference to Mackenzie, however, as she's still sidelined with a bad foot. How will her rivalry with Asia ever get off the ground if she can't?Quotes“Chloe called someone a Fucking Bitch in like preschool… not to their face but to me. She’s like she’s a fucking bitch and I’m like oh NO NO NO NO NO No NO NO…no no no we do not say such things Cupcake!” (02:40-02:56 | Christi)“I say clearly the ALDC is not a democracy, Abby is a totalitarianist. I’d like to point out that I obviously knew that reading 1984 in 6th grade was going to come in handy cause that’s the only time I’ve heard or used that word in my life.” (28:07-298:25 | Christi)“At this point dance wasn’t really like a social thing. No, cause they were so isolated. Yeah, and it was work… It made my kids love school more. Like my kids couldn’t wait to go to school.” (43:54-44:15 | Christi & Kelly)“We are the two old men on the Muppet’s Show. That we are! 100%. No wonder why people think we’re idiots! Cause we are!” (1:00:34-1:00:44 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Somebody has to fight with her,” remarks Kelly as we go through the motions of introducing Kristie Ray into the mom group on the second half of "Watch Your Back, Mack". Even though the moms (and especially our bitches) are on their best behaviors, tensions still seem to mount as Kristie begins to try and push the mom's every button. Though the show implies Melissa should be the one worried as Asia is being held up as the Mackenzie replacement, Melissa could seemingly care less and it's up to the other moms to pick up the dramatic slack. From Jill getting technical about who gets to sit where on the bus to Kristie trying to share some welcoming advice, new Kristie is having none of it and seems to be here solely to stir up the pot.More distressing to our moms however is that Cathy's team has come more than prepared to wipe the floor with the ALDC at this week's competition. Mackenzie is still out of circulation due to increasingly absurd foot problems, and the group dance doesn't offer much in the way of innovation or pizzaz. In fact the theme of the group dance theme reincarnation still comes off as confusing at best, indecipherable at worst. With Cathy's team running a well oiled machine under the tutelage of Abby's friend John, it might not be obvious to Abby quite yet but this is not going to be the best week for the ALDC.Also enjoy Christi and Kelly's attempt to go full Zapruder-film breakdown as they try (and somewhat succeed?) in studying footage of Abby's in-real-time breakdown towards the end of the episode.Quotes“I’m the only one that said something nice and she says I’m a bitch, with you! I don’t get it. Last time I’m saying something nice.” (04:32-04:38 | Kelly)“The fact that everyone of the kids on the show were fantastic dancers, because she made them be. If our kids had danced anywhere else, I don’t they would have been as amazing as they were. Cause it wasn’t like these seven kids were the best of the best from around the country that she hand selected. They were kid who went because they lived in the neighborhood.” (16:09-16:30 | Christi)“It’s a big smile. It was just pasted on there the whole time! Somebody needs to get that man a crest ad.” (27:21-27:28 | Christi)“Brian loved to bring on moms that made us feel ugly.” (34:40-34:43 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to postmates a drink," Christi jokes as she's booze-less going into what may be one of the strangest episodes of Dance Moms yet. Season 3's "Watch Your Back, Mack" is most notable for the introduction of Asia Monet Ray, the newest member of the ALDC and a former competitor on Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. But to these bitches it will always be best remembered for one of Abby's truly unhinged decision to get her dearly departed Broadway Baby stuffed and displayed! Where was Abby storing the body for so many months? Why does she not think this is creepy and insane? Why did Melissa recommend it to here?!But Asia's presence, and by extension her mother Kristie's presence, is of more concern to Jill who is worried about the outsiders coming in (getting a little taste of her own medicine). Abby is setting up Asia to directly compete with Mackenzie in the hopes their rivalry will encourage them both to improve. Will Abby's method of trial by fire work out in the end? Has it ever?Abby better hope it does as she'll be facing off against Cathy once more at Energy Dance, and the Wicked Witch is feeling extra wicked this week. Cathy is prepared to make Abby eat her words and hires one of Abby's own choreography friends as a ringer to put the ALDC in their place. Mackenzie might not be the only one who has to look out for her competition.Quotes“I’m just not a cat person. I know. I wasn’t a cat person until we started finding them in dumpsters and bringing them home. You found me in a dumpster and you didn’t take me home!” (02:34-02:46 | Christi and Kelly)“And also, Chloe came out of my vagina, so clearly…actually that’s not true she came out of my womb, she was a C-section baby. This is untouched in case anybody’s worried. OH GOD STOP! You’re always talking about that area!” (29:05-29:21 | Christi and Kelly)“Abby really and truly believes that competition makes you better. Because Maddie and Chloe were head to head, that made them better. She wanted Mackenzie to get better, so that’s why she had someone Mackenzie’s age come in.” (20:23-20:40 | Kelly)“There’s many times that we’ve filmed this show that I’ve been like: Ok, now we’ve officially gone off the rails….NOW we’ve officially gone off the rails.” (36:25-36:33 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Due to techimical difficulties, we're replacing this week's epsiode with two bonus After Party episodes. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Due to technical difficulties, this week's episode is being replaced by two After Parties. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“In a 30 second span, two of the most iconic Dance Moms moments happen back to back,” Christi exclaims as "She's a Maniac" has those and more iconic moments to spare. To mark the occasion (and to celebrate one of her few episodes where she doesn't suffer) the Bitches welcome Paige Hyland to the Barre! Abby brings in Broadway dancer Rachelle Rak to choreograph the Golddigga group number. It's a not too subtle jab at Melissa, who was just secretly married, but it sure is fun to have to explain what a Gold Digger is to the kids! Perhaps more pressing is whether Abby will be able to square away her desire for control with Rak's non-Maddie centric choreography.Quotes“For us telling our points of view like on this behind the scenes thing, the kids version is totally different. Cause you guys were in the dance room and we didn’t know what was going on a lot of the time but you guys didn’t really know what was going on upstairs.” (12:09-12:24 | Kelly)“We all have come to learn that the Pyramid means nothing. Not based on any kind of fact or any kind of real information. Just kind of based on your last name, maybe.” (23:50-24:01 | Christi and Kelly)“It’s a cellophane wrap party…and we’re wrapping each other…in literal cellophane. I figure I should go put one of them on. Kelly! Maybe I’ll wear one of those this weekend on my face. I don’t think they work. Well they got to do something! Well it’s probably old and expired, it’s 12 years old at this point. Don’t you think the plant extracts might have dried up?! Maybe.” (56:43-57:10 | Christi and Kelly)“I am shocked that no producer picked that up and said, we’re going to incorporate this [Giant Doll Man] into a dance. Girls, this is Bob Fosse, he’s sitting on the edge of the stage, now dance for Fosse. Flirt with him, dig his gold.” (1:07:22-1:07:37 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhylandFollow Jill on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jillvertesFollow Paige on IG: https://www.instagram.com/paigehyland1Follow Paige on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@paigehyland_3 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.