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Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
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Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Author: Forever Dog

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A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by Xandy and Christine Schiefer. Produced by the Forever Dog Podcast Network.

368 Episodes
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Hopefully this is the closest we get to a full musical episode. We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Who is ready for some five star plowing?! We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Huge merch sale!! 25% off storewide! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
:bouncin: :bouncin: Black Friday Sale starts Monday! 25% off storewide! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Find out what candy civil war general George Washington gave to his troops for good luck! Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Take a look at this merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
310: Reviews of Arcades

310: Reviews of Arcades

2024-11-0601:00:16

You better not give us a one-star review, because we saw you give Arby's a five... Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Take a look at this merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
309: Halloween Extravaganza

309: Halloween Extravaganza

2024-10-3001:34:191

This week's episode is hosted by Cryptine Schiefear and Alexandirt Bansheefer Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Take a look at this merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Apologies in advance if Christine sounds too much like a sarcastic crocodile. Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
307: Reviews of Caskets

307: Reviews of Caskets

2024-10-1601:24:531

The scariest thing about a prop should not be the price tag. Listen to Xandy read confessions with Wine & Crime! https://open.spotify.com/episode/32mfPsHonY98Wd43PjXcYf?si=e1adfbe30c02472d Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
FLATULENCE ALLOWED AND SELECTIVE HEARING ONLY Check out Christine's feature on Baywatchers! https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Tf1cKnDcZV9OLwQPbipfx?si=8c578caa036e49b6 Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
It's not even Xandy's birthday today. Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
304: Reviews of Bell Towers

304: Reviews of Bell Towers

2024-09-2501:02:182

Set your reminders to listen to this episode in 2035! Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
When you're done listening to this episode, could you bring our mom some nacho cheese? Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
"Prepare for rude surprises!" We're having a topsy-turvy week over here at Sandmonster HQ so please enjoy one of our favorite live shows - Washington, DC! (Full video version on Patreon!)  Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Happy Good Friday! We're gonna kick you right in the ass.  Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
"I know this isn't a forum to defend ourselves..." proceed to defend ourselves. Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We are eagerly awaiting your powerpoint applications. Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We're still not totally sure what Wisconsin Dells is... Come see us in Chicago and St. Louis!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
297: Between You And Us

297: Between You And Us

2024-08-0750:571

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode there's a bird with a taste for human flesh and a Christine with a taste for earthworms. Come see us in Philly, DC, Chicago, and St. Louis!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Comments (180)

Bardificer

I have two unrelated friends who have both worked at Dollar trees and have both been robbed at gunpoint there. it is truly a shared cultural experience.

Aug 7th
Reply

Shawna

I'm dying listening to the long run-on sentences 😄 🤣 😂 😆

Jun 29th
Reply

Mousie Tongue

#vegas.... the person who posted this review appears to be mob movie obcessed. the phrase Made-Man is cliché mob speak for someone who has killed someone. I don't think they fully understand the meaning, but hey, it sounds cool.

Jun 23rd
Reply

Bardificer

The "Oh Pee 2" review used the phrase "not a viable option" three times in two sentences 🤣

May 15th
Reply

hwithoutsound

I've never been so nervous listening to an episode. my dad is a wedding dj. has been my entire 35+ years of life & no one can have a squeaky clean record right? 😊

Apr 11th
Reply

Chi Snack

u try so hard to be inclusive that your actually disrespecting everyone else that is not gay, trans, or black... I HAYE that you just want to jump on whatever bandwagon you deem is supposed to be correct Now. it is pathetic you people can't be ur selves

Apr 5th
Reply

Chi Snack

ii agree with Foxy pear or foxypair too. y r the gas chambers even there! tear em down! who wants to remember that shit!?

Apr 3rd
Reply

Chi Snack

I agree with sandy actually? sorry but not sorry & who TF worried about tp during a pandemic... tjis world is fucked

Apr 3rd
Reply

Sam Yeagle

I think Kevin Sorbo is who Christine was thinking of...

Mar 27th
Reply

Marta Wiliams

💚WATCH>>ᗪOᗯᑎᒪOᗩᗪ>>LINK>👉https://co.fastmovies.org

Feb 5th
Reply

Chi Snack

yea... EXACTLY!!! STOP THE ILLEGALS!!!! STOP EMPLOYING & GIVING FREE MONEY TO THESE IMMIGRANTS!!!!!!

Nov 19th
Reply (3)

Lemon Stealing Horse

I might be really late to the game but I'm pretty sure Tmotb is the mark of the beast.

Nov 13th
Reply

S. Mohrbacher

Christine has become wholly unlikable.

Sep 27th
Reply

E P

I'm black and we say high siddity all the time. It's usually an adjective for people who act like they're better than you.

Sep 10th
Reply

Chi Snack

THERE IS NO GENDER SPECTRUM... PATHETIC

Sep 9th
Reply

Kelly Trent

Geico is owned by Berkshire Hathaway. Which is owened by Warren Buffet. An American. I always thought the Geico gecko was Australian?

Sep 8th
Reply

Ernest James Barron

I cant listen to any episodes any more. they just say there's an error playing it. I can listen to any other podcast no problems. Sad because I love this one.

Dec 21st
Reply (2)

Jessica Norman

funny thing..... lol. there is such thing as cat litter called Klitter. it's litter made from tofu 🤦‍♀️🤣

Dec 17th
Reply

Sebastian Zachary

anyone else having an error playing/ downloading this episode?

Dec 14th
Reply

Sebastian Zachary

I can't download episodes 20-45 😕 I've tried waiting until I can connect to my home WiFi but still won't download. Not sure if there's anything that can be done to resolve this but making you aware of this issue.

Dec 13th
Reply