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Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
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Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Author: Forever Dog

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Description

A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by Xandy and Christine Schiefer. Produced by the Forever Dog Podcast Network.

343 Episodes
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290: Reviews of Fake Plants

290: Reviews of Fake Plants

2024-06-1901:26:581

Only real ones can name three pollinators. Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy ***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We are not liable for any nightmares you might have about AI Jesus with four hands. Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy ***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Put your phone on Zeppelin mode and help us get this balloon out of a tree.  Support us on Patreon to get ad-free listening and video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Come see us live!! Our Portland show is SOLD OUT get your tix for the others now! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour You can see clips from our episodes for free on our Youtube channel! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Xtine's Etsy for all you hoop and stick enthusiasts: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Eros hath struck you with his arrow so you have no choice but to love this episode.  Support us on Patreon to get ad-free listening and video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Come see us live!! Our Portland show is SOLD OUT get your tix for the others now! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour You can see clips from our episodes for free on our Youtube channel! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Xtine's Etsy for all you hoop and stick enthusiasts: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
286: Reviews of Jude Law

286: Reviews of Jude Law

2024-05-2201:45:401

Go go gadget penis pump!  Support us on Patreon to get ad-free listening and video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Get your live show tickets now!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Xtine's Etsy for all you hoop and stick enthusiasts: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
285: Reviews of Shrek

285: Reviews of Shrek

2024-05-1501:21:50

Coming Soon to Theaters Near You: Get Out of My Swamp (And by Swamp I Mean Reality) See us LIVE: beachtoosandy.com Check out our merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Check out merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Root beer milk and a great time coffin coffin thumbs up  Xtine's Etsy for all you hoop and stick enthusiasts: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles ***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://beachtoosandy.com/ Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
282: Reviews of Groupons

282: Reviews of Groupons

2024-04-2401:38:00

***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://beachtoosandy.com/ Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We dedicate this episode to all the productbristas who shop online and inside the stores. No pun intended. Xtine's Etsy for all you hoop and stick enthusiasts: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles ***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://beachtoosandy.com/ Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode is full of Shrek Humor. Youth groups, you've been warned!  ***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://beachtoosandy.com/ Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Description: We're not sure who's at fault in most of these paint-and-sip debacles, but it's probably Jude Law.  ***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://beachtoosandy.com/ Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
278: Reviews from 2004

278: Reviews from 2004

2024-03-2701:47:21

Jump 5 right into a gathering of Ricardo's apostles. Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Here lies Auston Powers.  Sex? Yes please! Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
276: Reviews of Rest Stops

276: Reviews of Rest Stops

2024-03-1301:33:201

Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Check out our new merch store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
274: Reviews of Lego

274: Reviews of Lego

2024-02-2801:25:08

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy   Xandy is streaming again: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
273: Reviews of Fall Out Boy

273: Reviews of Fall Out Boy

2024-02-2101:12:451

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy   Xandy is streaming again: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
A kiss is the beginning of everything. -Nolene Last chance to get in on our winter sale! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy   Xandy is streaming again: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
271: Reviews of The Office

271: Reviews of The Office

2024-02-0701:07:03

Don't discuss this episode too much, it might make Xandy sick. Check out our winter merch sale from 2/9-2/16! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy   Xandy is streaming again: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Comments (178)

Mousie Tongue

#vegas.... the person who posted this review appears to be mob movie obcessed. the phrase Made-Man is cliché mob speak for someone who has killed someone. I don't think they fully understand the meaning, but hey, it sounds cool.

Jun 23rd
Reply

Bardificer

The "Oh Pee 2" review used the phrase "not a viable option" three times in two sentences 🤣

May 15th
Reply

hwithoutsound

I've never been so nervous listening to an episode. my dad is a wedding dj. has been my entire 35+ years of life & no one can have a squeaky clean record right? 😊

Apr 11th
Reply

Chi Snack

u try so hard to be inclusive that your actually disrespecting everyone else that is not gay, trans, or black... I HAYE that you just want to jump on whatever bandwagon you deem is supposed to be correct Now. it is pathetic you people can't be ur selves

Apr 5th
Reply

Chi Snack

ii agree with Foxy pear or foxypair too. y r the gas chambers even there! tear em down! who wants to remember that shit!?

Apr 3rd
Reply

Chi Snack

I agree with sandy actually? sorry but not sorry & who TF worried about tp during a pandemic... tjis world is fucked

Apr 3rd
Reply

Sam Yeagle

I think Kevin Sorbo is who Christine was thinking of...

Mar 27th
Reply

Marta Wiliams

💚WATCH>>ᗪOᗯᑎᒪOᗩᗪ>>LINK>👉https://co.fastmovies.org

Feb 5th
Reply

Chi Snack

yea... EXACTLY!!! STOP THE ILLEGALS!!!! STOP EMPLOYING & GIVING FREE MONEY TO THESE IMMIGRANTS!!!!!!

Nov 19th
Reply (3)

Lemon Stealing Horse

I might be really late to the game but I'm pretty sure Tmotb is the mark of the beast.

Nov 13th
Reply

S. Mohrbacher

Christine has become wholly unlikable.

Sep 27th
Reply

E P

I'm black and we say high siddity all the time. It's usually an adjective for people who act like they're better than you.

Sep 10th
Reply

Chi Snack

THERE IS NO GENDER SPECTRUM... PATHETIC

Sep 9th
Reply

Kelly Trent

Geico is owned by Berkshire Hathaway. Which is owened by Warren Buffet. An American. I always thought the Geico gecko was Australian?

Sep 8th
Reply

Ernest James Barron

I cant listen to any episodes any more. they just say there's an error playing it. I can listen to any other podcast no problems. Sad because I love this one.

Dec 21st
Reply (2)

Jessica Norman

funny thing..... lol. there is such thing as cat litter called Klitter. it's litter made from tofu 🤦‍♀️🤣

Dec 17th
Reply

Sebastian Zachary

anyone else having an error playing/ downloading this episode?

Dec 14th
Reply

Sebastian Zachary

I can't download episodes 20-45 😕 I've tried waiting until I can connect to my home WiFi but still won't download. Not sure if there's anything that can be done to resolve this but making you aware of this issue.

Dec 13th
Reply

oliver lime

If you are looking for the Pokemon Games https://ipokemonroms.com/category/nintendo-ds-roms/

Jul 25th
Reply

oliver lime

If you are looking for the Pokemon Games https://ipokemonroms.com/category/gba-roms/

Jul 25th
Reply
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