DiscoverBeing Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Author: Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

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Forrest Hanson is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and a world-class group of experts to explore the practical science of lasting well-being. Conversations focus on the key insights from psychology, science, and contemplative practice that you need to build reliable inner strengths, overcome your challenges, and get the most out of life. New episodes every Monday.

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Psychological defenses are subconscious strategies we use to protect ourselves from uncomfortable emotions, and they exert a hidden power over our behavior. From denial and repression to projection and rationalization, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how these defenses shape our actions, influence our relationships, and affect our overall well-being. They start with the function and structure of most defenses, before giving a few simple examples. Rick then dives into the role of defenses in psychoanalytic theory, their role in managing self-worth and shame, and what we can do to become less defensive over time. They close with practical strategies for working with our defenses, including a brief discussion of what we can do to help other people with their defenses. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:30: Psychological and historical factors influencing psychological defensiveness 8:00: Some examples of unconscious anxiety bubbling up 12:00: Repression, regression, projection, reaction formation, and sublimation 16:55: An overview of Freud’s developmental model of the personality 24:10: A few examples of how our defenses manifest 33:40: Consciousness, competence, and joining the defense 44:00: Navigating shame and guilt 50:15: Distress tolerance 57:15: Social connection, and finding healthy outlets 1:00:20: When and how to approach others about their defensiveness 1:10:45: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Dr. Rick and Forrest finish their series on the stress responses with the fawn response: an appeasement strategy where we manage stressful situations by giving others what they want. Rick and Forrest start by discussing common symptoms, including people pleasing, self-abandonment, difficulty saying no, weak boundaries, and chronic self-sacrifice. They talk about the roots of the fawn response and its connection to complex PTSD before exploring people pleasing in detail. In the second half of the episode they focus on practical tools for developing healthy boundaries, self-acceptance, and a stronger sense of self. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics:  0:00: Introduction 2:15: What the fawn response looks like 9:05: Power imbalances, shame, and contempt 11:35: What personal history tends to lead to fawning? 20:00: How to work on the tendency to fawn 36:30: Shame, self-acceptance, and opening up to self-expression 41:25: The fawn response in relationship 46:40: Becoming your own source of safety 52:20: Making equitable arrangements, and acknowledging your best efforts 1:01:50: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Somatic trauma therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can create more secure relationships. They talk about the lessons they've learned from their relationship, the impact of trauma and prior relationship wounds, and how very different people can make things work. Topics include complex PTSD, how to work through disagreements, changing our model of relationships, and learning how to actually support your partner. I loved this conversation, and hope you enjoy it! You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics:  0:00: Introduction 1:10: The myth of relationships solving your problems, and self-awareness 4:25: Me, you, and us 13:45: Changing your partner by changing yourself 16:45: Embracing the challenges of vulnerability 23:25: Disagreeing well, making specific requests, and holding space 33:05: Learning how to support your partner 37:40: Five different styles of relationship 40:55: Moving from trying to please your partner to showing compassion 45:15: Love as a choice, and expressing wants and needs positively 49:30: Simply liking your partner I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. They explore how to deal with chronically negative people, managing avoidant tendencies that get in the way of us finding a great relationship, and separating normal desires for support from more problematic ones. They then talk about how we can build self-confidence and become more internally referenced, before closing the episode with a sticky situation involving supporting an aging parent.  If you’d like to send in a question to be answered on the podcast, join our Patreon or email us at contact@beingwellpodcast.com. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics:  0:00: Introduction 1:00: My friend is chronically negative, what can I do? 13:05: How can I move past a cycle of avoidance that’s inhibiting my ability to find a good relationship? 26:05: I want to be supported by my partner, but I’m worried about becoming enmeshed. How can I seek help in a healthy way? 39:30: How do I stop seeking validation from others? 45:20: How do I react to ongoing criticism from an aging parent? 58:15: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Forrest and Dr. Rick explore “manifesting:” the idea that our thoughts impact the world around us, and by changing those thoughts we can change our lives. Talking about manifesting is complicated, because on the one hand our thoughts really do matter. On the other, manifesting is closely tied to a small mountain of problematic pseudoscience. They discuss and debate some of the issues with manifesting and the law of attraction before focusing on how to apply key psychological principles to create the life you want.  Rick and Forrest talk about creating clarity around our goals, setting intentions, improving self-worth and self-efficacy, and overcoming some of the negative unconscious beliefs that can get in our way, before exploring authenticity, consistent effort, and working with fear and inhibition. Then Rick closes the episode by walking us through a practical example of how to change a belief. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:00: Defining manifestation, and separating psychological and supernatural mechanisms of action 6:55: The mind-body connection, and the psychological aspects of manifesting 15:50: Charlatanism, preying on uncertainty, and the problems with the law of attraction 25:20: Changing behavior vs. changing thoughts, and the lure of the supernatural 32:10: If you want to skip the context, start here. 32:35: Getting what we subconsciously believe we are worthy of, and “don’t know” mind 38:50: Identifying wants, surrendering to the best within us, and using pain as a guide 48:55: Embracing the reality of consistent effort 54:55: How to change a negative belief 1:08:10: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss the “flight” response to stress, which includes feelings of anxiety and fear, avoidant behavior, and an underlying sense of insecurity. They explore the emotions and behaviors associated with the flight response, and how we can build up a stronger, more secure sense of who we are. Rick shares some practical tools that will help you change your self-concept, safely apply principles from graduated exposure, and feel safer from the inside-out. I’ve loved this series on the stress responses, and think you’ll get a lot out of this episode. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: The purpose of the flight response, and when it is and isn’t useful 5:35: Social withdrawal, conflict avoidance, and preserving safety vs. comfort 12:15: The trouble with low likelihood, high-cost risks 16:35: Exploring our capacity for stress, and identifying the risks worth taking 26:30: Feeling “sturdy,” and why we choose the flight response vs. other stress responses 33:30: Graduated exposure  39:05: Learning to trust our new capabilities as we change 44:50: Overdoing a change as a form of self-sabotage, and reserving the power to flee 54:25: Responding to anxiety 1:01:40: Being present with painful situations we can’t escape 1:08:40: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Dr. Rick and Forrest continue their series on the stress responses with the “fight” response to stress. They explore anger, repression, and the balance of self-expression and self-regulation before talking about how we can claim the adaptive aspects of the fight response without falling prey to its more problematic aspects. A major focus of the episode is resentment and repression, alongside related topics like empowering yourself, managing expectations, and “experiencing out.” You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: The useful aspects of anger 5:40: Specific behaviors associated with the fight response 8:35: Giving yourself permission to express anger 13:40: Navigating resentment 21:40: Thwarted expectations as a source of unhealthy anger 32:05: Claiming your anger, and being wary of its seductive nature 35:45: Developing an authentic sense of empowerment 39:45: Going from complaint to request 43:30: Antidotes to unhealthy anger 52:40: Challenging authority without feeling intimidated or shamed 54:20: When we’re angry at ourselves 59:00: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
In this mega-episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore everything you need to know about therapy. They share how you can get more from therapy, finding the approach that’s right for you, and some perspectives on why therapy is so expensive. They then run through the five major schools of Western psychotherapy before discussing a few alternative modalities. You’ll learn how long to stick with a therapist before looking for alternatives, questions to ask a prospective therapist, and how to maximize your results. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: The biggest factors that contribute to therapy going well 7:25: Finding the therapeutic modality that works for you 14:00: The cost of therapy, and the problem created by insurance companies 20:35: The five major schools of western psychotherapy 21:20: Psychodynamic therapy, and investigating the unconscious 23:20: Behavioral therapy, and variable reinforcement 25:55: Humanistic psychology, and seeing the good in yourself 29:05: Cognitive therapy, why insurance companies like CBT, and exploring our beliefs 36:15: Mindfulness-based therapies, and being with our experiences 41:15: Family systems therapy, social justice, somatic therapy, and non-Western thinking 46:20: The differences (and similarities) between therapy and coaching 52:40: How long therapy should take, and how to evaluate if it’s working 1:02:15: The role of client motivation  1:04:55: Questions to ask a prospective therapist 1:10:15: The importance of the therapist’s engagement 1:12:50: Common qualities Rick found challenging with past clients 1:16:05: The importance of internalizing change, and recognizing what’s really shifting 1:21:20: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Somatic psychology legend Dr. Peter Levine joins Dr. Rick and Forrest to explore how we can use body-based approaches to recover from traumatic experiences. Peter uses his personal history with trauma to illustrate the practices he’s taught to thousands of people through his work. They discuss the importance of resourcing experiences, creating safety, developing interoception, abandonment wounds, bringing a diverse perspective to somatic work, and working with shame.  Please be aware that this episode includes a description of sexual assault. About our Guest: Dr. Peter Levine is the creator of Somatic Experiencing and the Founder and President of the Ergos Institute for Somatic Education. He’s taught at a number of universities, has received Lifetime Achievement awards from numerous organizations, and is the best-selling author of several books, including Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, and his most recent book An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: Peter’s dream about publishing his recent book 6:40: Themes connecting the personal and professional for Peter 10:15: Physicalization, pendulation, and decontextualization of trauma 16:15: Presence with others, and moving gently into shame to move through it 20:55: The fundamental view that we our innately healthy, and completing the arc 23:05: When the prompt “feel it in your body” doesn’t work 28:15: Advice for when you don’t have access to therapy or a SEP practitioner 30:35: Tenderness 34:30: Anchoring in the here and now when accessing past memories 39:35: Conceiving of yourself as a source of safety 43:30: Generating your own internal wellbeing 46:20: Acknowledging the reality of your history, patience, and completion 49:45: Living by dying 52:15: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore a huge topic: what can we do to recover from a difficult childhood as an adult? Rick introduces a three step process that can help us reclaim our past, identify the key needs we have these days, and internalize related positive experiences. They discuss related tools from psychology like releasing repressed emotions, claiming agency where we can, and changing what we emphasize in the story of our lives. If you had a hard time growing up, this one’s for you. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: Recovering from childhood wounds - Reclaim, Resupply, and Repair 7:00: Clarifying your personal narrative, and the importance of agency 12:25: How the unmet needs from your past impacts your present 18:25: Changing what we emphasize in the story we tell ourselves 28:50: Letting the fizz out of the bottle 32:20: Identifying the right medicine for your unresolved wounds  38:00: How developing competency helps you break free from your past 41:50: Self-soothing through envisioning positive experiences 45:00: The process of letting go of the childhood you wish you had 57:50: Naming what you want from life, and the universal ground of being 1:02:00: Recap  Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins the podcast to share her groundbreaking work on emotional maturity. Forrest and Dr. Gibson explore how growing up with emotionally immature caregivers can affect our adult relationships, and what we can do to recover from these experiences, build healthier patterns, and disentangle from emotionally immature people. They start by discussing what emotional immaturity means, some of its key characteristics, and the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature parents. They then talk about how we can move away from “role-self” and develop a deeper connection with who we really are. You’ll learn practical tools for recognizing emotionally immature people, managing your relationships with them effectively, and establishing healthy boundaries. About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of a number of books including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People. Her most recent work is the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Guided Journal. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: What is emotional immaturity? 7:25: Affective realism and involuntary coping mechanisms 14:00: An example of a childhood with emotionally immature caregivers 18:50: The “role-self,” and how children respond to a parent’s lack of empathy 25:15: Receiving guidance from the authentic self 29:25: How the role-self affects relationships in adulthood 41:25: Healthier relationships by connecting with the authentic self 50:10: Letting go of healing fantasies in adult relationships 56:10: Guilt, emotional coercion, fear of loneliness, and finding optimal distance 1:02:55: How to identify with yourself as a secure base 1:06:20: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Twentysomethings are bombarded with misinformation, hype, and contradictory messages that pull them in many different directions. Dr. Meg Jay, a specialist on what she calls the “defining decade,” joins Forrest to explore how we can navigate this transformative and often anxiety-provoking time in our lives. They discuss the biggest misunderstandings about our 20s, balancing having fun with setting yourself up for the future, and common mental health issues. Topics include the pitfalls of self-diagnosis, creating a strong self-concept and building identity capital, dealing with burnout, strengthening our relationships, and more.  About our Guest: Dr. Meg Jay is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is on faculty at the University of Virginia, and is the author of a number of wonderful books, including The Defining Decade and her new book The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: The biggest misunderstanding about life in your 20s 4:55: Uncertainty, and becoming confident in our abilities 8:30: Nihilism about the current state of the world 14:50: Self-diagnosis, social media, and over medication 23:25: The “strength of weak ties” 27:20: Self-concept and identity capital 30:30: What helps people take action 34:15: Navigating avoidance and anxiety 41:55: Finding evidence that you’re capable of being loved 46:35: What to do you when you feel stuck 49:20: How to choose purpose 58:55: Advice to people who feel like they messed up their 20s 1:04:45: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
What do dissociation, avoidance, and emotional shutdown all have in common? They’re connected to the “freeze” response to stress. In one of our favorite episodes to date, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the freeze response in detail.  They talk about what stress responses are, how they impact our behavior, and why different people tend to default to different coping strategies. Forrest explains what freezing looks like in practice, and why the freeze response can be particularly difficult to navigate. Dr. Rick then shares a number of helpful strategies for working with the freeze response, including strengthening self-confidence, and the feeling of ourselves as someone who can create safety. Towards the end of the episode they discuss managing these tendencies in a relationship. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction  1:15: Understanding stress responses 9:05: Stress responses in relationship 15:25: Why it's hard to see that you're freezing 19:05: Dissociation, and what freezing looks like in practice 23:55: Steps of moving through dissociation 30:05: Self-awareness, ‘global’ conditioning, and unconditional positive regard 38:10: How Rick would work with someone who freezes: a hypothetical case study 53:45: Seeing yourself as a source of safety 1:02:55: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners focused on how we can work with irrational fears, create separation from our thoughts and feelings, and set healthy boundaries in dysfunctional families. Rick then goes off on the topic of “evidence-based” vs. “not evidence-based” approaches to therapy, leading to an interesting conversation about research, statistical significance, and what makes for good therapy. We think you’ll enjoy this one, thanks for listening! You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction  1:25: How can I respond to fears I know are irrational? 11:05: How can I disidentify from my thoughts? 21:35: How do I set healthy boundaries in a dysfunctional family system? 39:25: Are “not evidence-based” therapeutic approaches such as IFS or somatic therapy inferior to “evidence-based” approaches like CBT? 55:20: My relationship is full of conflict, and I’m considering divorce. How should I think this through? 1:05:10: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Soonsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Our 20s are a unique decade filled with opportunity…including the opportunity to make a lot of mistakes. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest share (roughly) 10 things they wish they’d known back then. They explore the balance of enjoying freedom with the compounding value of effort, a framework for finding meaning and purpose, and some of the common pitfalls that keep us stuck. Regardless of where you are in life, you’ll learn how to find and embrace your natural talents, appreciate meaningful relationships, and see things in a new light.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction  1:35: The importance of the choices you make in your 20s 4:45: Balance the freedom of youth with the value of action 8:00: Embrace mentorship 13:40: Find the Three Circles: Talent, Enjoyment, and Values 21:30: Try things, and let yourself change 24:20: Avoid getting stuck (and codependent relationships) 27:35: Identify useful feedback 31:00: Avoid swerving away from natural talents, kindred spirits, good advice, and failure 36:05: The intrinsic value of creating, and lightening up about results 38:25: Focus on where you have agency 44:45: Appreciate relationships based on shared values 46:55: You get to decide what your relationships look like 47:50: Showing appreciation for your younger self 49:50: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore self-abandonment, which occurs when we go against our authentic wants, emotions, and boundaries in order to serve others, meet external expectations, or protect ourselves emotionally. They cover where self-abandonment comes from, the psychological function it serves, and the relationship between self-abandonment and similar concepts like anxious attachment, low self-worth, and external referencing. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, stop neglecting yourself, and become more secure from the inside out.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction  2:00: Common features of self-abandonment 12:30: Facing the fear of our authentic self being seen 16:05: Facing shame and self-criticism 21:00: Self-referencing vs. referencing ourselves in relation to others 33:10: The belief that safety feels more critical than authenticity 40:55: Our relationship to nature, and joining with the defense 50:55: Relationships, openness to change, and bringing parts into awareness 55:20: Cognitive restructuring, and redefining our self-abandoning beliefs 58:50: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
There are as many ways to have a difficult relationship with food as there are ways to eat. It’s hard to get conversations about these challenges right, but today we’re taking the plunge and exploring the habit of eating when we’re not hungry with psychiatrist Dr. Jud Brewer.  Dr. Rick, Forrest, and Dr. Jud start by discussing our often flawed approach to conversations about eating patterns, shame spirals, and the many problems with diets. They then move the conversation from what we eat to how we eat, applying Dr. Jud’s work on habits and craving to the challenge of emotional eating. Specific topics include the neuroscience behind how our hunger cues and emotional cues get mixed up, common habit loops related to food, reward value and the importance of creating a prediction error, the nature of craving as wanting without liking, mindfulness-based tools, and how we can create a bigger, better offer for our brains. About our Guest: Dr. Jud Brewer is a psychiatrist, the director of research and innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, a professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences at the School of Public Health and Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, and a research affiliate at MIT. He’s also the bestselling author of a number of books, including The Craving Mind, Unwinding Anxiety, and his most recent book The Hunger Habit. Disclaimer: If you struggle with a serious restrictive eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia nervosa, the material in this conversation will not support your needs. Please consider working with your doctor or mental health clinician, or using the free resources at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. If you need immediate help, call the ANAD hotline at 1-888-375-7767. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and disclaimer 2:40: The surprising finding from Jud’s smoking cessation program 6:05: What Jud’s new book is not about, and information vs. behavior 11:05: The mental health impact of dieting, and the problem with willpower 18:05: Hedonic hunger, and food-mood wiring 24:15: Bringing awareness to how we eat, and our cultural conditioning 31:50: Developing freedom of choice, and the MBSR raisin exercise 36:20: A walkthrough of mindful eating 44:25: When you don't want to let go of a behavior, and finding the bigger better offer 52:50: Kindness, curiosity, and other tools for improving interoception 57:00: Ways to find the bigger better offer 1:07:45: Caring for our future self 1:11:30: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
One of the most important skills we can learn is how to regulate ourselves, riding the emotional waves without either ignoring or being overwhelmed by them. Associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can feel our feelings while staying calm, collected, and in control. They walk through two examples of under- and over-regulation, and Elizabeth offers specific practices that might help in each common situation. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: Creating safety and connection with a new client 6:30: Therapy as an opportunity for reparative experiences 9:45: Learning to regulate when you have traumatized parts 16:55: What’s helped Elizabeth heal patterns of overregulation and dissociation 23:50: A hypothetical dialogue with an overregulated client 29:10: Titration and traumatic release 33:05: Labeling and accepting emotions, and empowering the “wise adult” 40:15: A hypothetical dialogue with an underregulated client  46:30: Celebrating when we notice our patterns 49:30: Movement, tapping, tremoring, journaling, and other practices 53:55: Finding a supportive community 57:10: Being with your body, and following your curiosity 58:55: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Start each day right with IQBAR’s brain-and-body-boosting bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
Our relationships are some of the most important parts of our life, and our happiness is often directly correlated to the strength of those relationships. Dr. Joy Harden Bradford joins the podcast to explore how we can apply lessons from group therapy to build stronger friendships. Forrest and Dr. Joy focus on how we can build the trust necessary for vulnerability, how attachment issues show up in friendships, and the common friend roles you might be placing yourself into without realizing it. About our Guest: Dr. Joy is a Licensed Psychologist based out of Atlanta, Georgia, the host of the wildly popular podcast Therapy for Black Girls – which has more than 34 million downloads - and the author of the recently released book Sisterhood Heals: The Transformative Power of Healing in Community.  Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: What group therapy is like, and some its unique advantages 5:50: Creating a safe container for vulnerability 11:50: Trust, loyalty, respect, and gender dynamics 19:55: Attachment patterns in friendships 25:50: The Wallflower, the Leader, the Peacemaker, and the Firecracker 33:30: Navigating social circles with differing levels of openness to change 36:35: Challenges identifying, accepting, and expressing our needs 41:40: Specific challenges for black women in getting needs met 46:15: How stigma around therapy has changed over time 48:55: Curiosity, and guidelines for global sisterhood 52:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
ADHD is one of the most common - and most misunderstood - conditions out there, and today we’re setting the record straight with author and YouTuber Jessica McCabe. Jessica joins Forrest to explore her journey with ADHD, dealing with common challenges like self-criticism, shame, and sensitivity, and how we can work with our unique brain, not against it.  About our Guest: Jessica McCabe is the creator of the popular YouTube channel How to ADHD and author of the new book How to ADHD: An Insider’s Guide to Working with Your Brain, Not Against It.  Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: Jessica’s history with ADHD, and how she wrote her book 7:15: Stigma, pride, self-criticism, and letting others help you 12:05: Dealing with shame 14:55: Self-advocacy, self-acceptance, and asking the right questions 24:40: Believing in your experience 27:45: Common misconceptions about ADHD 31:40: The relationship between ADHD and emotional sensitivity and regulation 36:05: Creating a sense of community 39:25: Advice for partners, family, and friends of people with ADHD 47:25: Recap  Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website
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Comments (33)

Ashley

Saying things like "greed" and "envy" are okay alienates those of us that use those names for mortal sins and things we definitely do not want to be a part of us. Most therapy modalities think alienating us is okay but it's not and the whole field is leaving us with almost nowhere to get therapy that works.

Feb 14th
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Tiina Mosse

Amazing!

May 21st
Reply

Clare Tyler

I love this episode! I was totally expecting to experience it as 'capitalist productivity mumbo jumbo' 😁 but it was so applicable for me right now with my personal development. thanks forest and Ben.

May 13th
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Tiina Mosse

Fantastic episode, so helpful! Thank you!

Apr 10th
Reply

Clare Tyler

You guys are the absolute best. Seriously. Any ONE of these episodes or any of the Hanson's material can really be life changing. Pure gold. Thank you.

Jan 19th
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Sean Moore

Great episode. Very helpful. You know at my current age, 58, i feel that if podcasts like this were available I'd be much more happy today and wouldn't have side stepped a lot of challenges.

Dec 14th
Reply

Sean Moore

Just another idea. 25 yrs back it was all Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. I'll write the next couples book. One line on one page, Just Be Nice.

Nov 21st
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Alan Czechowski

Amazing! this hit home!

Sep 12th
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Sean Moore

Great episode.. Thanks

Jul 25th
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Allison Elder

LOVED this episode. Thank you to you both, but especially Elizabeth for her vulnerability in sharing her personal story. It helps and gives the rest of us courage to share our stories! We can learn so much from one another when we break down the walls and share. Thank you so much!

Jun 23rd
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Allison Elder

First time listening. Thank you so much for your efforts!

Feb 16th
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S Roy

This is one of my favorites! Beautiful dialogue on an important topic. Thank you!

Feb 7th
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S Roy

You two are so solid and always engaging. I love the pacing, tone, curiosity, and beautiful father/son dialogue every single time. Thank you for your thoughtful and consistent creations. Love, love, love!

Feb 7th
Reply

S Roy

you always provide value in your discussions and i feel that this topic is very relevant today. thank you very much for this content. fantastic!

Nov 30th
Reply

S Roy

Each podcast is consistently full of excellent material and I appreciate the Hansons' commitment to helping us rewire our brains to become more kind, loving, and compassionate human beings towards others and ourselves. I also enjoy the summary at the end of each podcast. Thank you for the hard work you put in on our behalves.

Oct 25th
Reply

Riri

A thorough show about psychology. Thank you very much!

Jul 14th
Reply (2)

Anna-Marie

A gentle and loving look at our layers of being that have been shaped by our contact with the world. Lovely holding and exploration of "our original source". Thank you

Jun 26th
Reply

Saffron Berridge

Thank you, this was a lovely meditation and I like the idea of some additional shorter episodes

Nov 30th
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Tiina Mosse

Wonderful listening as always!

Aug 22nd
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Katie Elizabeth

First time listening to the show! I have to say that I was super impressed with the host and his on-point insightful questions/responses. Dr. Alfie is a super hero. Her work is outstanding! I gained so much knowledge from listening to her interview and highly suggest it to those working in counseling, psychiatry, and social work.

Aug 12th
Reply