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Best Friend Therapy
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© Copyright Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell
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Hello! We’re Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed-Turrell. And for over 20 years, we’ve been best friends. Elizabeth is a broadcaster and author. Emma is a psychotherapist. Best Friend Therapy is where we chat about what’s on our minds to get deeper in our minds.
Every week, we talk about how to tackle the challenges we face in daily life with honesty, compassion and practical wisdom. This is a podcast that holds your hand through the tough times and offers reassurance on the days you might need it. Feed your soul with nourishing conversations from two best friends, one therapist - and zero filter.
Every week, we talk about how to tackle the challenges we face in daily life with honesty, compassion and practical wisdom. This is a podcast that holds your hand through the tough times and offers reassurance on the days you might need it. Feed your soul with nourishing conversations from two best friends, one therapist - and zero filter.
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2Welcome to this season finale of Best Friend Therapy, in which we're talking about something we could all do with a bit more of in life - crone energy and the empowerment it brings.Far from the Cambridge English dictionary’s definition of a crone as an "ugly, old woman", we are talking about the stage in a woman's life when she reclaims her feminine power and agency, and we chart a journey through the stages of maiden, mother and crone, with a view on women's health, responsibilities and relationships.Emma tells us how the relationship between responsibilty and influence affects our stress levels, and Elizabeth pitches for "Reclaim the Crone" to be printed on a line of T-shirts.Stay tuned for the next season of Best Friend Therapy - coming soon!---Elizabeth references the following book and article in this week's episode (and Emma dutifully includes them in the show notes): https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-ruin-of-all-witches/malcolm-gaskill/9780141991481 and https://croneconfidence.com/2019/10/16/7-signs-you-might-becoming-a-crone/---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week we're talking about those familiar situations, friendships and relationships, in which people take more from us than they give.We look at the difference between boundaries and demands, and explain why our tolerance for narcissistic traits in other people might wear thin as we get older. Elizabeth explores why she has a habit of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, and Emma shares how her journey through peri-menopause has helped her separate the wheat from the chaff.We leave you with some practical advice about how to communicate more authentically and develop better relationships that are less about giving and more about sharing.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Guilt is a feeling that plagues so many of us that we felt compelled to dedicate an entire episode to it!Emma explains the difference between authentic guilt and the misplaced guilt we can feel when we turn anger back in on ourselves, and Eizabeth shares 40 things that made her feel guilty in 2021 (and some that still make her feel guilty now!).We talk about how men and women do guilt differently, how guilt can function as a form of self-preservation, why parental guilt stops us problem-solving effectively and what you should do if you still haven't made that phone call (eek).---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:On Instagram...Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapyAnd on Twitter @bftherapypod
This week's Best Friend Therapy is all about teenagers - the ones we used to be and the ones we need to parent, whether that's now or in the future. Elizabeth tells us about her late rebellion and Emma explains why we need to help our adolescents learn to put their coats on, even when we tell them to (which will make much more sense when you listen to the episode!).We look at what's bad behaviour and what's developmentally normative and explore ways to support yourself as a parent and help keep your kids safe - through preparation not prevention. ---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week on Best Friend Therapy, we're tackling the thorny issue of self-worth, or the lack of it.Emma explores the difference between self-esteem and "others-esteem" and why we can fall into the trap of outsourcing our sense of self to other people.Elizabeth compares her self-worth to a solar panel and reveals why chunky socks are a better way to keep warm. ---Emma references the psychoanalytical theory of object relations and the work of Donald Winnicott: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_relations_theory---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week on Best Friend Therapy, we are lucky enough to have an access-all-areas, behind the scenes pass to Elizabeth's brand new book, Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict, published by 4th Estate on 30th March 2023. She tells us why she felt this subject was one she had to write about, how the language of friendship has been lacking so far and left us ill-equipped to set boundaries and evolve our friendships into something more authentic.Emma talks about the difference between being friendly and being friends, and Elizabeth explains why her previous friendship strategy was all about finding safety in numbers.Friendaholic explores friendship break-ups, ghosting, the fetishisation of friendship in our culture, the impact of social media and why one size does not fit all. We chat about the masks and mirrors of friendship, why we shouldn't judge a friendship by text turnaround times and why we all have to be responsible for spending our friendship budgets wisely. ---Elizabeth references Glennon Doyle's podcast "We Can Do Hard Things", the work of Robin Dunbar on friendship numbers and Frederick Nietzsche on stars.Friendaholic is available to pre-order here: https://amzn.eu/d/7TUbwYG---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week on Best Friend Therapy, we are responding to the many requests we've received for a conversation about therapy itself: when to seek therapy, how to find a therapist, how to become a therapist, where to start and what to expect.Emma shares the path she took from selling perfume to private practice and Elizabeth shares some of her experiences as a client in therapy.---We reference the work of Windy Dryden and you can read more here: https://www.windydryden.comEmma trained at the following institutions: The Gestalt Centre https://gestaltcentre.org.uk, Peter Symonds College https://ahed.psc.ac.uk, Metanoia Institute https://www.metanoia.ac.uk For anyone wanting a taster of Transactional Analysis, The Berne Centre offers a fantastic introductory course: https://theberne.com/ta101---introduction-to-taMind has pulled together this comprehensive resource all about finding a therapist, including how to access NHS services, charities, workplace and educational services and private therapists: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/talking-therapy-and-counselling/how-to-find-a-therapist/HIIT therapy sessions with Emma are bookable at emmareedturrell.as.me or for more on her work on people-pleasing, you can get a copy of her book Please Yourself here: https://amzn.eu/d/hiLPoRL ---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
TW: Trauma, miscarriage.Welcome back to season four of Best Friend Therapy!We wanted to open this new beginning with a conversation about ending because the two go hand in hand and because grief is a subject that touches us all.It has been one of our most requested topics and we hope we can do it justice, as we discuss aspects of grief such as anticipatory grief, traumatic grief and collective grief, how to support others who are grieving, and how to parent children through loss.Emma explains the the 'concertina' effect we can feel when past losses catch up with us in the present and Elizabeth shares the stories of people she has interviewed, that have helped her understand how to live alongside loss. Not only dealing with bereavement, we cover the ending of friendships, the loss that comes with house moves and empty-nest syndrome, to understand how we can make meaning of grief and why its purpose is also positive.And, if you're grieving right now - know that we see you and you're not alone.---Elizabeth references these books that she has found to be helpful: "A Heart that Works" by Rob Delaney, "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion, and "After You" by Natascha McElhone.And you can hear Elizabeth interviewing Mo Gawdat on her podcast How to Fail here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day/id1407451189?i=1000436244962---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Happy New Year from Best Friend Therapy!We're so delighted to be back with you for another year of conversations where we talk about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.And we're kicking off with this bonus episode on the timely topic of flexibility - from flexibility in exercise, to worklife and relationships. We explore how we can tune in to our emotional equalizers to tell us what we need and what we have to give, as we head into the new year.Emma explains why a balance between acceptance and change is important and tells us why we need to drop the rope and get on the seesaw, and Elizabeth explains what happens when we hyperextend and shares some of the warning signs we can all look out for. ---You can learn more about Myers Briggs here: 16personalities.com or thepersonalitylab.org---This episode is sponsored by Peloton – a fitness experience for your body and mind, so motivating and exhilarating that you’ll come back to it time and time again. Find out more by visiting https://www.onepeloton.co.uk---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Merry Christmas from Best Friend Therapy! Or not. Because, however your festive season has been this year, and however you chose to celebrate, you’re welcome in this conversation. So join us, as we ease our festive hangovers together (both literal and metaphorical). Special occasions and holidays can be a flashpoint for emotions, and expectation can be the thief of joy. We’re not responsible for other people’s enjoyment of Christmas and yet the pressures to shop, socialise, cook, dress, eat and drink in festive form, can overwhelm even the most hardened people-pleasers among us. Emma and Elizabeth share their best and worst Christmasses and offer advice if you’ve had a tough one this year. And we look forward by looking back, because the Christmas run-up can be one big set-up, and it’s something we can learn from for the future. *genuine hangover advice also provided* --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
You’ll never be left out from Best Friend Therapy, but if it’s a feeling you know elsewhere in your life, this week’s episode might be for you.We’re talking about FOMO, not being invited to the party, or sitting at home in your pyjamas while everyone else is out having fun (although, this sounds like Emma’s idea of heaven).Born into the world dependent on others and racked with self-consciousness throughout puberty, it’s no surprise that humans are sensitive to feeling left out. We’re here to help you feel more grounded and better able to build connections by becoming the most *you* version of yourself, and starting from a place of self-belonging. We talk about the joy of being left out and the importance of saying no to some invitations, to be able to say yes to the ones that count. Elizabeth admits that she hates Glastonbury and Emma finds her spiritual home in the M&S café. They both also lose the plot when trying to talk about a rustle in the bush and will endeavour to be more professional in future.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
It’s a bit of a different episode this week, as Emma takes Elizabeth through a live therapy process of dream analysis. Listen along while Elizabeth unpacks her deepest subconscious, meet her happy-go-lucky island and her all-seeing sky, and hear what Emma has to say about the meaning behind the dream. And learn for yourself how to interpret your own dreams, so that you too can unpack the valuable insights that your night-time mind has to offer. ---You can read more on Carl Jung here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_JungAnd "Dreams" was sung by Gabrielle, not Annie Lennox. But she did sing "Sweet Dreams", so Elizabeth was on the right track.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week, on Best Friend Therapy, we’re talking about feeling anxious (and we're feeling quite anxious while we’re doing it). Anxiety can take many forms, be it seasonal, situational, or a post-pandemic hangover. As a diffuse term, it's not always helpful, so we’re here to break it down and challenge some of the assumptions attached to those sensations we get when we’re living with ambiguity, coping with life outside of our control or, dare we say it, even a bit excited?Emma shares her blissful morning moments and liberates us to journal in whichever way we want. Elizabeth calls out the anxiety attached to our anti-anxiety efforts and tells us why reality TV is her wind-down go-to. ---Alain de Botton on pessimism: https://youtu.be/Aw1oLtuJOXQ And in case you didn’t recognise Emma’s rendition, here’s the real Minnie Riperton, singing Lovin’ You: https://youtu.be/9I3UTG1dSTc---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
Lots of our lovely listeners have asked us what it’s like to work with your best friend, so this week we’re here to spill the tea. It’s take your bestie to work day.We talk about what we've loved, from sharing a joint purpose, to finding out more about each other (and sneaking off for lovely recording weekends!) We talk about what we’ve learned, including our fear of letting each other down, what our different metrics of success can teach us, and how to keep the relationship at the heart of everything we do.And we talk about how to do it if you want to give it a try yourselves - with boundaries, clear communication and tons of mutual respect.Whether it’s co-parenting or partnering in a business, working with a loved one can be so rewarding and we’re here to share our top tips for making it a success.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week, on Best Friend Therapy, we’re talking about attachments. No, not the Velcro and poppers kind, but the way we *emotionally* attach to other people. We look at the work of psychologists like John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, to get a better understanding of the way we develop expectations of other people, and how we might have created emotional defences to protect our vulnerability.We explain how strategies that set us up for safety in childhood might actually get in our way as adults, when it comes to making successful friendships, romantic relationships and professional connections. Emma tells us a story about a picnic blanket and Elizabeth reminds us of those mice and their cheese machines that we first encountered in Season One. ----This week's references include:"A Short Introduction to Attachment and Attachment Disorder" by Colby Pearce: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Short-Introduction-Attachment-Disorder-Second-dp-1785920588/dp/1785920588/ref=dp_ob_title_bkThe work of John Bowlby: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_BowlbyAnd Mary Ainsworth’s Strange Situation experiment: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_situation---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week's episode of Best Friend Therapy *cue gravelly trailer voiceover* tells one woman's courageous journey through the world of online dating, and what it took to survive on the apps... Only joking, Elizabeth, it wasn't that bad! We do discover how good she is at succession planning, however, and we offer our advice for how to navigate all the different dating advice that's available (see what we did there?).Rejection may be one reality of dating but we also look at its potential for data acquisition and self-discovery. We explore how online dating has made meeting people seem more disposable and Emma proposes a new dating app that kicks you off the platforms and into real life. Elizabeth tells us how she went from a definition of eligible as “not creepy”, to being married to the lovely Justin, and brings a voice of hope and understanding to anyone still looking for their Happily Ever After.---Elizabeth references:“The Age of Innocence” by Edith Whartonhttps://www.waterstones.com/book/the-age-of-innocence/edith-wharton/lionel-shriver/9780099511281https://www.sosyncd.com---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Welcome back to Season Three of Best Friend Therapy!We are so delighted to be with you for another season of conversations and this week we’re talking about something that gets a bad rap in our society and is often misunderstood – it’s the feeling of anger and it’s one of Emma’s favourites.We talk about the difference between anger management and anger expression, understand why Elizabeth shut herself in a cupboard and gave herself a good talking to, and we explain why guilt and anger are so often muddled up.We take a magical mystery tour through female rage from Rosa Parks to Lorena Bobbit, stop off with Michael Douglas in Falling Down, and end up at the dog park with Emma and Betty (her golden retriever), to hopefully bring you a better understanding of what anger is, and what it isn’t.---Elizabeth's understanding of anger was informed by:"Anne of Green Gables" by L. M. Montgomeryhttps://www.waterstones.com/book/anne-of-green-gables/l-m-montgomery/9780349009308and:"Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger" by Rebecca Traister https://www.waterstones.com/book/good-and-mad/rebecca-traister/9781501181818---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Season Three of Best Friend Therapy is coming very soon!We can't wait to be back with you next week, for more conversations about the topics that get us all talking... starting with the things that make our blood boil.Subscribe now and make sure you don't miss a single episode!
Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and we've come to end of Season Two already!So we're throwing in the towel, we're giving up, we're admitting defeat - oh no, wait a minute, we're not actually quitting, we're just *talking* about quitting this week. Phew!We would never abandon our lovely listeners because quitting is a bad thing... it's an admission of failure... it's a sign of weakness. Right?Well, it turns out we're not so sure and this week we'll be exploring whether quitting gets a bad press it doesn't deserve. Whether quitting can also be an active way to end something with agency. Whether fear of the unknown keeps us doing what we know, even when that unknown could be a better job, a happier relationship or an outcome that feels right.We explore how to quit aspects of a situation if you aren’t ready or able to quit altogether, and we ponder whether, if something quits you, was it even right for you in the first place? Elizabeth wrestles with how to quit therapy and Emma quits trying to save everybody else.---Elizabeth references 'Adapted Child' from Eric Berne's P-A-C model which is brilliantly explained in this text: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028/ref=sr_1_2?adgrpid=52680008869&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9ZGYBhCEARIsAEUXITUSzQNTHrxFAt0SFN2S32O6YIlGcfQ533iG6z_dqO5i5w2s9oBuMdYaAmnUEALw_wcB&hvadid=259035468682&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9045783&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=9682401238517000128&hvtargid=kwd-298703266987&hydadcr=3222_1824632&keywords=ta+today&qid=1661272526&sr=8-2You can listen to Eckhart Tolle on Super Soul Sundays with Oprah Winfrey here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/eckhart-tolle-session-the-awakening-of-consciousness/id1264843400?i=1000443295402Elizabeth Kubler Ross on the Grief Cycle: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Grief-Grieving-Finding-Meaning-Through/dp/0743263448Emma uses the Gestalt terms, 'figure' and 'field' and a great introduction to Gestalt psychotherapy can be found here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gestalt-Counselling-Helping-People-Change/dp/0863881335---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and this week we're doing something a little bit different. We're going down the rabbit hole and we're taking you with us, as Emma therapises the hell out of Elizabeth.Using Transactional Analysis techniques, Emma takes Elizabeth on a journey of self-discovery and hopefully sets you up to do the same. Bring a question or a situation of your own and follow along, as you discover your internal voices and find your way to an Adult way of seeing things. Find out why Emma loves a game of hopscotch, and why you wouldn't want to meet Silvana down a dark alley. ---This episode is based on the work of Eric Berne, who you can find out about here: https://ericberne.comAnd you can learn more about Transactional Analysis in a brilliantly accessible text here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028/ref=sr_1_2?adgrpid=52680008869&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9ZGYBhCEARIsAEUXITXUrgNprG_RpeBC-2woMc3QgCJdfhqCTO2i_dkAsPSPWv-_e4s0EBYaAi9OEALw_wcB&hvadid=259035468682&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9045783&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=3426000332817789466&hvtargid=kwd-298703266987&hydadcr=3222_1824632&keywords=ta+today&qid=1661272287&sr=8-2---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
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oh wow. Emma is amazing with the help of Elizabeth. I feel like am having my very own therapy session with each episode. Love, love it ♥️♥️♥️
I am an INFJ too!. That is why I am so in tune with Elizabeth. Love everything she does.
I get so much from all your Best Friend Therapy podcasts, but this one, is revelatory! Thank you xxx
Oh my goodness what a profoundly enlightening episode. Thank you Emma and Elizabeth. So grateful 🙏🙏❣
Incredible episode. I have learnt so much about myself. Therapy right there 🙏🙏❣
beautiful episode 🙏❣
I too have enjoyed every episode and gained so much from each one. Thank you both and dare i say keep them rolling!
I absolutely love listening to this podcast. It is so insightful and thought provoking.
I have learnt so much from this podcast! Highly recommend if you are interested in how our brains work and why we do/say/feel the things we do.
Absolute treasure chest of sound thinking, honesty and insight. Loved it.