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Best Friend Therapy
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© Copyright Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell
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Hello! We’re Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed-Turrell. And for over 20 years, we’ve been best friends. Elizabeth is a broadcaster and author. Emma is a psychotherapist. Best Friend Therapy is where we chat about what’s on our minds to get deeper in our minds.
Every week, we talk about how to tackle the challenges we face in daily life with honesty, compassion and practical wisdom. This is a podcast that holds your hand through the tough times and offers reassurance on the days you might need it. Feed your soul with nourishing conversations from two best friends, one therapist - and zero filter.
Every week, we talk about how to tackle the challenges we face in daily life with honesty, compassion and practical wisdom. This is a podcast that holds your hand through the tough times and offers reassurance on the days you might need it. Feed your soul with nourishing conversations from two best friends, one therapist - and zero filter.
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4It's that time again, it's our season finale!And this week on Best Friend Therapy, we thought it fitting to send you into the break with an episode all about uncertain times.We explore how cultural events such as the pandemic, the cost of living crisis and economic uncertainty can manifest in anxiety, and we also examine the potential for growth and change therein. We suggest that certainty might not be the only antidote to uncertainty, if we can find other ways to settle and soothe our nervous systems. Emma helps us recognise the difference between dread and excitement and Elizabeth explains why she's always nice to Siri. ---Elizabeth talks about ClearScore and you can find out more about how they can help at: https://www.clearscore.comEmma references the research of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and you can read more about her life and work at: https://www.ekrfoundation.org/elisabeth-kubler-ross/If you're struggling with uncertainty, below are some services that might be able to help:Mind: https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/using-this-tool/Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.orgCitizens Advice Bureau: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Join us for this season's live therapy experience, with our glamorous assistant/guinea pig, Elizabeth Day!This week, Emma blends techniques from Neuro Linguistic Programming and timeline therapy to guide Elizabeth back through some significant experiences, in order to identify an unmet need or missing piece that might still hold her back today. You'll hear a guided visualisation that reframes past experiences in a way that can heal past hurt, and shows you what to look for in future.Listen along to Elizabeth's journey or try it for yourself, and let us know what you learn along the way!---The original Time Line Therapy is a NLP based technique, developed by Master NLP and Hypnosis Trainer, Tad James: https://www.nlpcoaching.com/tad-james-m-s-ph-d-transformational-leader/---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week we are talking about how we can tune in to our 'inner child'. Or, at least, we're attempting to because Elizabeth has so far found her inner child to be quite elusive and the prospect of dancing on the beach to be a bit cringe.We come to the conclusion that inner child work might actually be about learning to trust our intuition and accept our wants and needs exactly as they are, with no judgment, and to give ourselves permission to play in whichever way we find comfortable - even if that looks like a Hippo bag for Emma and a dose of reality TV (rather than a skip along the sand) for Elizabeth.Inner child work helps us to identify how we feel and what we need, so that we can 'reparent' ourselves as grown-ups, and releases us from the idea that there is a right and wrong way to feel freedom and joy.What is your idea of fun? How do you like to play? Are you paying attention to the wisdom of your inner child?---Emma references Lucia Capacchione's book "Recovery of Your Inner Child: The Highly Acclaimed Method for Liberating Your Inner Self" https://amzn.eu/d/5S6v9Er---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
TW; discussions around suicide.This week we are talking about gaslighting, where the term originates from and how it has helped us name a particular type of coercive control.We also talk about how it has been more recently adopted in casual conversation and how therapy talk doesn't always serve us when it’s overused or taken out of context.As always, our insights are informed by popular culture - namely the Archers, Jury Duty and Married at First Sight Australia (we’re talking to you, Harrison).We cover gaslighting as it appears in romantic relationships, but also how it can show up in friendships, family dynamics and broader society.Emma takes us through a Transactional Analysis theory known as Escape Hatches and Elizabeth shares her experience of being on the receiving end of gaslighting, to help us understand what to look out for and how to own our truth.---For anyone interested in escape hatch theory, here is a clip from two legends of TA, Ian Stewart and Adrienne Lee, discussing how to decide on life: https://youtu.be/FaKxr5Lfkv4---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week on Best Friend Therapy, we are reflecting on regret.As usual, we strive to keep our conversation authentic, which is why you’ll hear us singing along with Edith Piaf, receiving deliveries from the postman, battling with flies and playing a quick round of Just a Minute… NONE of which we regret because we come to the conclusion that regret really means mourning a life un-lived and, well, we’ll all have plenty of those. We also have the life we are living right now and we reckon this is the one to be present and intentional about. So here is our unfiltered, imperfect, present and intentional take on the tricky feeling of regret.We go deep and reflect on those end of life regrets and what it means to say goodbye, and we resolve, once and for all, whether it’s acceptable to go to bed on an argument. So here’s to cutting yourself some slack for not knowing what you didn’t know, and getting on with the act of the everyday.---You can read more about the work of Bronnie Ware and her book, "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing" at bronnieware.com.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week we're talking all things menopause.Emma and Elizabeth share their journeys so far, through the wild ride that is peri-menopause, and look at the good (no longer doing things you don't want to do), the bad (next-level anxiety) and the ugly (who knew anyone could sweat this much?).Menopause has gone from being the taboo of previous generations, to a subject discussed openly in mainstream media and we wanted to celebrate this transition into a new stage of womanhood - one that is as much about acceptance as it is change.Whether you're directly affected by menopause or not, we hope this conversation offers you insight into listening to your bodies and growing through change.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week on Best Friend Therapy, we're talking about DIY!Ok, we're not but, with all of our references to sanding and painting, we might as well be. We are actually talking about how we need friction to make meaningful bonds and how a glossy finish can get in the way of connection. Because this week we're talking about perfectionism and how it can hold us back.Exploring toxic positivity, the sense of dissatisfaction we're often sold by the beauty industry, and the impact of social media, this week's conversation uncovers the myths of control and why we shouldn't always believe our eyes.Emma advocates "perfect moments" while Elizabeth prefers to reject the notion of perfect altogether. Emma tells us about the fateful day she took a cup of coffee into therapy and Elizabeth spills the tea, as usual.Remember, when you try to be perfect, you can forget to be personal, and we know which we prefer.---Emma quotes the work of Taibi Kahler on "Drivers": Kahler, T. (1975). Drivers—The Key to the Process Script. Transactional Analysis Journal, 5:3---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Welcome back, to Season Five of Best Friend Therapy!We're kicking this season off with a conversation all about co-dependency - what does it mean and why is it a problem?We chat about how co-dependency shows up in our families, our friendships and our romantic relationships... how we all need someone but why the person we need most is ourselves. This conversation is a journey from validation to self-validation via the wisdom of Vanderpump Rules and Cilla Black, and even a nod to the potentially co-dependent aspects of our own friendship... Enjoy!---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Welcome to this season finale of Best Friend Therapy, in which we're talking about something we could all do with a bit more of in life - crone energy and the empowerment it brings.Far from the Cambridge English dictionary’s definition of a crone as an "ugly, old woman", we are talking about the stage in a woman's life when she reclaims her feminine power and agency, and we chart a journey through the stages of maiden, mother and crone, with a view on women's health, responsibilities and relationships.Emma tells us how the relationship between responsibilty and influence affects our stress levels, and Elizabeth pitches for "Reclaim the Crone" to be printed on a line of T-shirts.Stay tuned for the next season of Best Friend Therapy - coming soon!---Elizabeth references the following book and article in this week's episode (and Emma dutifully includes them in the show notes): https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-ruin-of-all-witches/malcolm-gaskill/9780141991481 and https://croneconfidence.com/2019/10/16/7-signs-you-might-becoming-a-crone/---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week we're talking about those familiar situations, friendships and relationships, in which people take more from us than they give.We look at the difference between boundaries and demands, and explain why our tolerance for narcissistic traits in other people might wear thin as we get older. Elizabeth explores why she has a habit of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, and Emma shares how her journey through peri-menopause has helped her separate the wheat from the chaff.We leave you with some practical advice about how to communicate more authentically and develop better relationships that are less about giving and more about sharing.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Guilt is a feeling that plagues so many of us that we felt compelled to dedicate an entire episode to it!Emma explains the difference between authentic guilt and the misplaced guilt we can feel when we turn anger back in on ourselves, and Eizabeth shares 40 things that made her feel guilty in 2021 (and some that still make her feel guilty now!).We talk about how men and women do guilt differently, how guilt can function as a form of self-preservation, why parental guilt stops us problem-solving effectively and what you should do if you still haven't made that phone call (eek).---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:On Instagram...Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapyAnd on Twitter @bftherapypod
This week's Best Friend Therapy is all about teenagers - the ones we used to be and the ones we need to parent, whether that's now or in the future. Elizabeth tells us about her late rebellion and Emma explains why we need to help our adolescents learn to put their coats on, even when we tell them to (which will make much more sense when you listen to the episode!).We look at what's bad behaviour and what's developmentally normative and explore ways to support yourself as a parent and help keep your kids safe - through preparation not prevention. ---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week on Best Friend Therapy, we're tackling the thorny issue of self-worth, or the lack of it.Emma explores the difference between self-esteem and "others-esteem" and why we can fall into the trap of outsourcing our sense of self to other people.Elizabeth compares her self-worth to a solar panel and reveals why chunky socks are a better way to keep warm. ---Emma references the psychoanalytical theory of object relations and the work of Donald Winnicott: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_relations_theory---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week on Best Friend Therapy, we are lucky enough to have an access-all-areas, behind the scenes pass to Elizabeth's brand new book, Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict, published by 4th Estate on 30th March 2023. She tells us why she felt this subject was one she had to write about, how the language of friendship has been lacking so far and left us ill-equipped to set boundaries and evolve our friendships into something more authentic.Emma talks about the difference between being friendly and being friends, and Elizabeth explains why her previous friendship strategy was all about finding safety in numbers.Friendaholic explores friendship break-ups, ghosting, the fetishisation of friendship in our culture, the impact of social media and why one size does not fit all. We chat about the masks and mirrors of friendship, why we shouldn't judge a friendship by text turnaround times and why we all have to be responsible for spending our friendship budgets wisely. ---Elizabeth references Glennon Doyle's podcast "We Can Do Hard Things", the work of Robin Dunbar on friendship numbers and Frederick Nietzsche on stars.Friendaholic is available to pre-order here: https://amzn.eu/d/7TUbwYG---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
This week on Best Friend Therapy, we are responding to the many requests we've received for a conversation about therapy itself: when to seek therapy, how to find a therapist, how to become a therapist, where to start and what to expect.Emma shares the path she took from selling perfume to private practice and Elizabeth shares some of her experiences as a client in therapy.---We reference the work of Windy Dryden and you can read more here: https://www.windydryden.comEmma trained at the following institutions: The Gestalt Centre https://gestaltcentre.org.uk, Peter Symonds College https://ahed.psc.ac.uk, Metanoia Institute https://www.metanoia.ac.uk For anyone wanting a taster of Transactional Analysis, The Berne Centre offers a fantastic introductory course: https://theberne.com/ta101---introduction-to-taMind has pulled together this comprehensive resource all about finding a therapist, including how to access NHS services, charities, workplace and educational services and private therapists: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/talking-therapy-and-counselling/how-to-find-a-therapist/HIIT therapy sessions with Emma are bookable at emmareedturrell.as.me or for more on her work on people-pleasing, you can get a copy of her book Please Yourself here: https://amzn.eu/d/hiLPoRL ---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
TW: Trauma, miscarriage.Welcome back to season four of Best Friend Therapy!We wanted to open this new beginning with a conversation about ending because the two go hand in hand and because grief is a subject that touches us all.It has been one of our most requested topics and we hope we can do it justice, as we discuss aspects of grief such as anticipatory grief, traumatic grief and collective grief, how to support others who are grieving, and how to parent children through loss.Emma explains the the 'concertina' effect we can feel when past losses catch up with us in the present and Elizabeth shares the stories of people she has interviewed, that have helped her understand how to live alongside loss. Not only dealing with bereavement, we cover the ending of friendships, the loss that comes with house moves and empty-nest syndrome, to understand how we can make meaning of grief and why its purpose is also positive.And, if you're grieving right now - know that we see you and you're not alone.---Elizabeth references these books that she has found to be helpful: "A Heart that Works" by Rob Delaney, "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion, and "After You" by Natascha McElhone.And you can hear Elizabeth interviewing Mo Gawdat on her podcast How to Fail here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day/id1407451189?i=1000436244962---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Happy New Year from Best Friend Therapy!We're so delighted to be back with you for another year of conversations where we talk about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.And we're kicking off with this bonus episode on the timely topic of flexibility - from flexibility in exercise, to worklife and relationships. We explore how we can tune in to our emotional equalizers to tell us what we need and what we have to give, as we head into the new year.Emma explains why a balance between acceptance and change is important and tells us why we need to drop the rope and get on the seesaw, and Elizabeth explains what happens when we hyperextend and shares some of the warning signs we can all look out for. ---You can learn more about Myers Briggs here: 16personalities.com or thepersonalitylab.org---This episode is sponsored by Peloton – a fitness experience for your body and mind, so motivating and exhilarating that you’ll come back to it time and time again. Find out more by visiting https://www.onepeloton.co.uk---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
Merry Christmas from Best Friend Therapy! Or not. Because, however your festive season has been this year, and however you chose to celebrate, you’re welcome in this conversation. So join us, as we ease our festive hangovers together (both literal and metaphorical). Special occasions and holidays can be a flashpoint for emotions, and expectation can be the thief of joy. We’re not responsible for other people’s enjoyment of Christmas and yet the pressures to shop, socialise, cook, dress, eat and drink in festive form, can overwhelm even the most hardened people-pleasers among us. Emma and Elizabeth share their best and worst Christmasses and offer advice if you’ve had a tough one this year. And we look forward by looking back, because the Christmas run-up can be one big set-up, and it’s something we can learn from for the future. *genuine hangover advice also provided* --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
You’ll never be left out from Best Friend Therapy, but if it’s a feeling you know elsewhere in your life, this week’s episode might be for you.We’re talking about FOMO, not being invited to the party, or sitting at home in your pyjamas while everyone else is out having fun (although, this sounds like Emma’s idea of heaven).Born into the world dependent on others and racked with self-consciousness throughout puberty, it’s no surprise that humans are sensitive to feeling left out. We’re here to help you feel more grounded and better able to build connections by becoming the most *you* version of yourself, and starting from a place of self-belonging. We talk about the joy of being left out and the importance of saying no to some invitations, to be able to say yes to the ones that count. Elizabeth admits that she hates Glastonbury and Emma finds her spiritual home in the M&S café. They both also lose the plot when trying to talk about a rustle in the bush and will endeavour to be more professional in future.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
It’s a bit of a different episode this week, as Emma takes Elizabeth through a live therapy process of dream analysis. Listen along while Elizabeth unpacks her deepest subconscious, meet her happy-go-lucky island and her all-seeing sky, and hear what Emma has to say about the meaning behind the dream. And learn for yourself how to interpret your own dreams, so that you too can unpack the valuable insights that your night-time mind has to offer. ---You can read more on Carl Jung here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_JungAnd "Dreams" was sung by Gabrielle, not Annie Lennox. But she did sing "Sweet Dreams", so Elizabeth was on the right track.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
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Love, love this one. So many golden nuggets. I have all the symptoms of perfectionism.
oh wow. Emma is amazing with the help of Elizabeth. I feel like am having my very own therapy session with each episode. Love, love it ♥️♥️♥️
I am an INFJ too!. That is why I am so in tune with Elizabeth. Love everything she does.
I get so much from all your Best Friend Therapy podcasts, but this one, is revelatory! Thank you xxx
Oh my goodness what a profoundly enlightening episode. Thank you Emma and Elizabeth. So grateful 🙏🙏❣
Incredible episode. I have learnt so much about myself. Therapy right there 🙏🙏❣
beautiful episode 🙏❣
I too have enjoyed every episode and gained so much from each one. Thank you both and dare i say keep them rolling!
I absolutely love listening to this podcast. It is so insightful and thought provoking.
I have learnt so much from this podcast! Highly recommend if you are interested in how our brains work and why we do/say/feel the things we do.
Absolute treasure chest of sound thinking, honesty and insight. Loved it.