Claim OwnershipBeyond Survival - The Therapy Podcast with Katie McKenna
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This Podcast is for anyone who grew up up in a dysfunctional or narcissistic family system and now finds themselves stuck in patterns of people-pleasing, anxiety or unhealthy relationships.
Each episode offers real-world insight into trauma recovery, relationships, boundaries, nervous system healing and reconnecting to your true self.
Whether your just starting your healing journey or looking to deepen it, you’re welcome here - just as you are
31 Episodes
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Perfectionism can look like competence, control, or high standards, but what often hides underneath is a survival strategy. In this conversation, I’m joined by, Podcast Host & Mindset Coach, Claire Fealy to explore how perfectionism hides in plain sight - in our work, relationships, bodies, and inner worlds. We talk about how perfectionism develops as protection, how it keeps us stuck in self-monitoring and self-pressure, and why it can feel so hard to let go of. Together, we explor...
In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist and author Dr Rachna Buxani, whose book Unseen: A Therapist’s Reflection on a Daughter’s Journey Through a Narcissistic Father’s Shadow. Together, we explore what happens when a father’s love feels more like control than care? We discuss the impact of growing up in emotional silence, the silent erosion of self-trust, and how a child learns to survive by disconnecting from her own voice. Dr Buxani shares reflections on memory, self-doubt, and the inv...
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Natalie Fabert to explore a question I often return to: What if a narcissistic family system operates like a cult? When we hear the word cult, it can conjure images of something extreme, distant, or dramatic, something that happens to other people. But what if a cult simply describes a system. A system where one person’s reality becomes the only acceptable reality. Where it’s “my way or the highway.” Where you’re trained to question yourself, but never the p...
In this episode, I explore the trauma responses many of us developed just to survive childhood and why they still show up in our adult lives. I’ll break down the main trauma responses, the core wounds they originate from, and how these patterns are shaped by growing up with narcissistic parents. I’ll also walk you through the four types of narcissistic parents and how each one impacts a child’s nervous system, sense of self, and relationships, and why your responses were never flaws, th...
1This week, I'm unpacking one of the most common yet misunderstood experiences for adult children of narcissistic abuse: Narcissistic Parentification. I’ll walk through the different roles the children are cast into; Scapegoat Child, Golden Child, Enmeshed / Gilded Child, The Invisible Child, and how these roles profoundly shape your relationships, boundaries, identity, and sense of self today. By understanding the dynamics behind the role you were assigned, you can finally challenge the...
In today’s episode, I'm diving into Instrumental Parentification — a dynamic where a child becomes the household’s “mini Cinderella.” They’re the ones cooking, cleaning, managing bills and appointments, caring for siblings, or even being conditioned into the role of caregiver for an ill family member. We’ll explore how these adult-sized responsibilities shape a child’s sense of self, and how the impact often follows them into adulthood, influencing their relationships - especially with their ...
In this solo episode, I’m diving into the topic of parentification — what it looks like, how to recognise it, and why naming your experience is the essential first step toward healing. Before we can deconstruct and dismantle the roles and patterns we grew up with, we need the language to understand what truly happened to us. I’ll be sharing real, relatable examples to help you spot the subtle and not-so-subtle signs of parentification in your own family system and explore how these dynamics m...
In today’s episode, we dive deep into the complex topic of enmeshment—what it is, how it forms, and what healthyfamily patterns actually look like. We explore the journey of emancipation: how to recognise the conditioned roles you were assigned in childhood and, most importantly, how to break free from them. Joining us is Dr. Ken Adams, renowned national lecturer, workshop leader, and consultant specializing in child abuse, dysfunctional family systems, and sex addiction. Dr. Adams is the acc...
“I started this work at the age of 19. I was a child abuse advocate, a sexual abuse advocate, a domestic violence advocate, a therapist — and yet, I didn’t know it was happening to me.” Dr. Christine Cocchiola is a leading expert on the experience of adult and child victims of coercive control. But even with all her knowledge and training, she found herself living inside the very dynamic she’d dedicated her life to understanding and preventing. In this powerful and deeply personal conversatio...
Solo Episode - This week on Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast, I’m unpacking the truth behind people pleasing. So often we think of it as a habit or personality trait - but in reality, it’s a deeply ingrained survival response. When a child grows up in dysfunction, their nervous system learns that safety comes from centering others and erasing themselves. This fawning response isn’t about being “too nice” - it’s about self-abandonment learned in an environment where needs, emo...
This week a listener asks a question: How do I let go of all the rage? After years of no contact with her abusive family, she’s exhausted by how much power the past still has over her present. She doesn’t want revenge or empty apologies - she just wants peace. But how do you move forward when there will never be justice? In this episode, we explore what rage really is beneath the surface, why it can feel impossible to release, and how to begin freeing yourself from its grip so you...
This week, I read a letter from a listener who’s been no contact with her mother for two years - but still feels like she’s living with her shadow. Every bark of the dog, every knock at the door, sends her body into high alert. Even something as simple as checking the mailbox feels dangerous. Myself and Dr. Ruth Callaghan will explore what it’s like when no contact doesn’t bring peace, and how our nervous system can become stuck in fight/flight - especially when the person w...
Question - "I'm never going to find her easy but how do I regulate after exposure to her?" In this episode, we hear from a listener - an only child - who has spent a lifetime navigating exhaustion, guilt, and confusion in her relationship with her aging mother. Her mother calls her “my everything,” professes deep love, yet never asks about her life or family. Instead, she elicits promises, plays the victim, uses guilt to control, and bends the truth to suit her narrative. For this listener, g...
This week, we read a powerful letter from a listener whoasks myself and Dr. Ruth Callaghan the question: "How do I decide whether or not to go no contact? I can't seem to spend time with them that doesn't involve drama?" The listener describes growing up with a mum who seemed caring on the surface — "never shouting, just nagging, crying and hounding me, until she gets her own way" — and a dad who told her to “keep the peace.” Now, as a mother herself, every attempt to set a healthy boun...
Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse Q "What I’m currently struggling with is this pattern I have where if there is a pause in our physical intimacy due to life stress or other circumstances I feel incredibly afraid and triggered into feeling worthless and think our relationship is doomed." In this deeply moving episode, we explore the lasting impact of childhood trauma on even the healthiest adult relationships. A listener grew up with a covertly narcissistic mother, being placed in the “gilded chi...
These weeks listener asks these 3 questions Is it unrealistic to expect her to change?How do I get her voice out of my head that I’m in the wrong? Have others found a way to be in a relationship with a mother with narcissistic tendenciesListen as Ruth & Katie unpack these questions and what they really mean for your healing, your boundaries, and your sense of self. Follow Ruth on TikTok Follow Ruth on Instagram www.callaghancounselling.ie The C.A.L.M Method A proven process tha...
How do we learn to parent, or even reparent ourselves, if we never had a model of healthy parenting? In this week’s episode, we explore three powerful themes: our responsibility as parents, how to navigate our own triggers, and whether it’s really possible to “overlove” a child and risk raising a narcissist. We also share some of our own fears and struggles, and offer practical, tangible advice on how to navigate these challenges with more confidence and compassion. Follow Ruth on...
This week’s listener has worked hard to build a life where she feels confident, loved, and free to be herself. But when she begins to hold her boundaries, her mother shows her true colours and the cracks in the family dynamic become impossible to ignore. Her enabling father seems to make attempts at connection, but the question remains: How do you confront parents about the pain they’ve caused, without losing yourself in the process? If you would like us to answer your question email be...
Toxic guilt is that heavy, misplaced guilt that convinces us we’ve done something wrong, even when we haven’t. It’s one of the hardest legacies of childhood trauma, and it can follow us into adulthood, shaping how we see ourselves and our relationships. In this episode of Beyond Survival, I read a letter from a listener who grew up in a large Irish family that looked perfect from the outside but was full of harmful behaviour and manipulation behind closed doors. Now, years later, the hardest ...
In series 2 of Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast, I’m joined by Dr. Ruth Callaghan where we explore two powerful listener questions. First, how can you be a better parent when you’ve grown up as a “fawn type” people-pleaser, and why do your underlying motivations matter so much? Then, we dive into the challenge of managing intrusive, compulsive thoughts - the constant urge to help, fix, or rescue others. We’ll unpack what’s really driving these patterns, and share insights on how to...
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