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Bitch Bible

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A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits.

Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible," and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.
562 Episodes
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Yelping

Yelping

2025-12-0201:01:39

Jackie has changed her Yelping ways and writes not one, but two powerful, glowing reviews for a local oyster bar, reviews Wicked for Good, and goes cold turkey on Diet Coke in preparation for Paris.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Revolve: Shop my favorites, and use code BITCH to get 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCHBetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLEPique: Unlock 20% off for life for yourself and everyone on your list at www.Piquelife.com/BibleLittle Spoon: Use code BIBLE to get 50% off your first online order at www.littlespoon.com/BIBLEAddyi: Check out the FDA-approved treatment for certain premenopausal women who are bothered by low libido and want their sex drive back at www.Addyi.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Jackie counts down the days to her Paris trip, beams with pride at Clyde’s love of schadenfreude, and gives thanks for hoes in multiple area codes.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Nutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at www.nutrafol.comWayfair: Shop Black Friday deals before December 7th for up to 70% off at www.Wayfair.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
A Tinned Fish Bish

A Tinned Fish Bish

2025-11-1801:00:23

Jackie takes a well earned deep breath following the completion of the Dim the Lights tour, rails against the glorification of tinned fish, and advises against combining bodily fluid colors in an outfit.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Home Chef: For a limited time, get 50% off and free shipping for your first box. Plus free dessert for life at www.HomeChef.com/BIBLENutrafol: For a limited time, get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at www.nutrafol.com/biblePique: Get up to 20% off for life, plus a complimentary gift at www.PiqueLife.com/BIBLEAddyi: Check out the FDA-approved treatment for certain premenopausal women who are bothered by low libido and want their sex drive back at www.Addyi.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Jackie announces some exciting news (don't worry, she is not pregnant) drops some spicy marital advice and tackles religion (why?).Thanks for supporting my sponsors:SKIMS: Shop my favorite bras and underwear at www.SKIMS.com/bibleHero Bread: Use code BIBLE at checkout to get 10% off your order at www.hero.coRitual: Get early access to Ritual's Black Friday Sale for 40% off your first month at www.Ritual.com/BIBLELittle Spoon: Use code BIBLE at checkout to get 50% off your first online order at www.littlespoon.com/BIBLEHome Chef: For a limited time, get 50% off and free shipping for your first box. Plus free dessert for life at www.HomeChef.com/BIBLEWayfair: Don’t miss out on early Black Friday deals at www.Wayfair.com for up to 70% offSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Bush Concert

Bush Concert

2025-11-1201:05:02

Jackie recounts the inappropriate attire at the Sabrina Carpenter show in Nashville, plans a second heist at the Louvre, and extols the benefits of her impenetrable immune system.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Merit Beauty: Get the Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at www.MeritBeauty.comHome Chef: For a limited time, get 50% off and free shipping for your first box. Plus free dessert for life at www.HomeChef.com/BIBLEHoneylove: Get 20% off sitewide at www.honeylove.com/bibleRitual: Get early access to Ritual's Black Friday Sale for 40% off your first month at www.Ritual.com/BIBLESKIMS: Shop my favorite bras and underwear at www.SKIMS.com/bibleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Jackie is joined by Amanda McCants to discuss being late, Westlake mom’s, Amanda’s recent breakup, and everything on her hate list.Thanks for supporting my sponsors:Nutrafol: For a limited time, get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at www.nutrafol.com/bibleHero Bread: Use code BIBLE at checkout to get 10% off your order at www.Hero.coPique: Get up to 20% off for life, plus a complimentary gift at www.PiqueLife.com/BibleBetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLEAddyi: Check out the FDA-approved treatment for certain premenopausal women who are bothered by low libido and want their sex drive back at www.Addyi.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Drops of Stupider

Drops of Stupider

2025-10-2801:08:44

Jackie is back from her San Fransisco redemption show, and discusses the perfect soundtrack for a plane crash, takes family photos before Andrew loses his front teeth, and endures an annoyingly positive trip to Aritzia.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
WWHKD, Baby

WWHKD, Baby

2025-10-2101:04:41

Jackie’s back with new extensions and shoulder pads to discuss fostering a child at the park for 8 minutes, clarify that she is not a rat with a mic, and point out Hellen Keller’s real greatest accomplishment.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Jackie recounts her recent social encounters, pays homage to her favorite celebrities and alienates 96% of her listeners.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Dissipitation

Dissipitation

2025-10-1401:07:37

Jackie discusses her recent staycation and the benefits of sympathy upgrades, her thoughts on The Life of a Showgirl, and the heavy burden of being deeply funny.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Jackie is joined by the incredible Michelle Collins to discuss, fixing and being fixed in relationships, bringing back bullying and shame, and why the housewives need a villain.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Pusillanimous

Pusillanimous

2025-09-3001:03:58

Alone in the trenches of her home this week, Jackie discusses how some people need to be punched to get some grit, names the greatest trait in a house wife, and suppresses the urge to beat children at the park with her purse.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Jackie is feeling loose after a couple drinks, and plans a bathroom renovation, laments the clothes that got away, and previews Off Brand October.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Jackie is back from Australia, jet-lagged and bitchier than ever. She recounts her unlucky flying history, Real Housewives and why Bermuda shorts are for people who have never been to Bermuda.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Uprooted

Uprooted

2025-09-1601:02:12

Jackie loses sleep over Amy Bradley, gets into a fight with a girl from high school, and recalls how much simpler the early 2000’s were. And of course Melissa Wood Tepperberg’s neck brace.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Munchausen By Proxy

Munchausen By Proxy

2025-09-0956:19

Jackie recounts a beautiful experience with Clyde feeling unwell, books a flight for Paris, and explains the Princess Treatment, Red Nail Theory, and Soft Goth.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Jackie recaps the sick game Belly is playing in The Summer I Turned Pretty, discusses Clyde’s aspirations to be the next Mikhail Baryshnikov, elaborates on the perfect murder plan, and delights in her guests’ discomfort at her With Hate birthday party.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
With Hate, John Hill

With Hate, John Hill

2025-08-2601:07:491

Jackie sits down with living sculpture John Hill to discuss his sobriety, the most trouble he’s ever been in for something he said on the radio, a shared love of Allison Janney, and John’s additions to the With Hate, Jacqueline list.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
It's Jacqueline Taylor Schimmel-Haas' birthday, and she's been preparing for months her 2025 list of things she hates - some are broad, some are niche, but all of them are felt deeply in her soul.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Jackie gets her sphincter lasered, creates a fake Instagram for her husband, and has the harsh realization that she may never see Cheryl again.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Comments (32)

Hi

Worst episode.. was mild racist 

Apr 24th
Reply

Jason Michael

OMG LMAO, I love this bitch

May 16th
Reply

Jason Michael

call her daddy is fine and everything, but this is hands down the funniest and best podcast I ever listen to. this bitch so fucking funny I just can't with her 😂.... so talented, so hooked, keep being you you crazy bitch.

May 16th
Reply

Marta Wiliams

💚WATCH>>ᗪOᗯᑎᒪOᗩᗪ>>LINK>👉https://co.fastmovies.org

Feb 5th
Reply

God of Misery

I like to spray my sperm on your face

Dec 15th
Reply

Emily Grace

I 💖 that DJ James Kennedy answered. Your MoM was great! I'm glad you and your MoM have these memories. Thanks for believing there's no such thing as oversharing! We 💖 you, Jackie!

Nov 12th
Reply

Colt Stehr

Regardless, it's exquisite information. Investigating from gifted music makers https://www.myccpay.app/

Apr 22nd
Reply

Miki Minach

are you familiar with the organized crime called #gangstalking yet?

Apr 5th
Reply

levans8381

episode doesn't want to play!

Jan 22nd
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levans8381

love this pod, Jackie says what we're all thinking.

Nov 4th
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Vasyl Datsyuk

Hey, Jackie! Haven't listened to your podcast yet. But, I bet you strike a right tone on being positive ;).

Oct 5th
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Kim Brennan

Jeff Lewis was talking about a friend that was pregnant, obviously not her 😆

Nov 18th
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Liliana Trevino

I can't count how many times I dream of my husband cheating..

Oct 22nd
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Samantha Palacios

love the podcast just started listening recently after getting bored with music during my long af 12 hour shifts! first heard you on call her daddy with our founding single glorious father Alex Cooper and I gotta say I am obsessed with your show! you're keeping me awake at work girl and that's a tough job to do!

Sep 30th
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Alisha T

Jackie. I find you to be absolutely hysterical. I love your show. You put me into the best mood and make me feel like a more badass version of my self. Thanks for being real and making my days much more entertaining.

Jun 15th
Reply

Jessica Olson

how can there be no comments on BIG DICK ENERGY??!!??!!??

Mar 1st
Reply

Liz Gallardo

Gtfoh!!! Noo! Girl! Why?!? Really? I liked your podcast cast because you were real! You pull that Christmas Music is rapey bullshit. I can’t!

Dec 6th
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Melissa Galvan Chavez

just started listening to podcasts and I really love yours lol you say things I wish I could

Nov 23rd
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Kari Momchilovich

come to Minnesota!

Nov 19th
Reply (1)

Shari Urbancic

Agree with Sue. I didn't get any kind of condescending attitude from Nick at all. Plus, nothing Jackie said regarding her feeling that she is "masculine" made zero sense and I'm glad Nick called her out on it.

Sep 20th
Reply