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Black Girls Heal

Author: Shena Lashey

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Black Girls Heal helps women break out of cycles of unhealthy relationships with unavailable partners and feeling not enough by combining coaching, therapeutic support, and practical tools.

Every episode, we will talk about intimacy, attachment, healing unresolved trauma, and growing in our self worth.
277 Episodes
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In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into a topic that often brings up complex emotions - recognizing when friendships might be temporary. You know those relationships that feel so intense and meaningful in the moment, but somehow don't stand the test of time? Let's talk about why that happens and why it might actually be perfectly okay.Through sharing personal stories and insights from my upcoming book 'How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts', we're exploring four key ways to understand the natural ebb and flow of friendships. Whether it's bonding over shared interests, connecting through shared trauma, building relationships in forced environments like work or school, or finding yourself in life transitions - each type of friendship serves its own beautiful purpose.This isn't about labeling friendships as "less than" because they might be temporary. Instead, we're reframing how we view these connections, understanding that not every friend is meant to be in our lives forever, and that's perfectly okay. From navigating workplace friendships to understanding how religious communities impact our connections, we're getting real about what makes relationships stick or shift.In this episode, we cover…03:14 Why temporary friendship exists04:11 Four signs of temporary friendships18:16 The complexity of building friendships34:26 How to navigate transitional friendships36:57 The importance of clear communication in friendships44:59 Why you should still embrace temporary friendships46:17 Upcoming book releases Resources mentioned in the episode:Grab copies of my books, How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts and No Contact Support BookListen to Episode 263: Checking the Facts When You're in ConflictListen to Episode 253: The 4 Steps of No ContactReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into something all of us face but nobody really wants to talk about - those seasons when it feels like you're in conflict with EVERYONE. You know those times? When it seems like every conversation is tense, every interaction is challenging, and you're starting to wonder if maybe you're the problem?First, take a deep breath. Because what if I told you these seasons of conflict aren't here to break you - they're here to build you? What if every misunderstanding, every tough conversation, every moment that makes you want to scream into your pillow is actually an invitation to grow?We're getting real about how to take care of yourself when it feels like you're swimming in difficult energy. From dealing with current conflicts to processing unresolved issues from your past, I'm sharing four practical strategies that have helped not just my clients, but myself too, in navigating these stormy seasons.In this episode, we cover…01:00 Understanding why seasons of conflict happen02:52 Opportunities for growth during seasons of conflict08:14 How to deal with misunderstandings19:57 Why you should be teachable25:31 Reflecting on past conflictsResources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're taking a moment to celebrate YOU. Yes, you! We're shifting away from our usual conversations about red flags and relationship challenges to focus on something equally important - acknowledging just how far you've come in your healing journey.You know those moments when you catch a red flag early? When you trust your gut instead of second-guessing yourself? When you look in the mirror and actually like who you see? Those aren't small wins - they're evidence of your incredible growth, and it's time we celebrate them!Through personal stories and real-life examples, we're diving into the beautiful transformation that happens when we start recognizing our own progress. From being able to spot those red flags quicker (instead of six months down the line!), to actually trusting ourselves more than other people's opinions, to developing that genuine self-love that isn't dependent on anyone else's validation - these are all victories worth celebrating.This conversation isn't just about patting ourselves on the back - it's about acknowledging that every step forward in our healing journey matters. Whether you're just starting out or you're well along your path, there's something powerful about stopping to recognize how far you've come.In this episode, we cover…02:47 Why you should recognize your growth03:31 Embracing your wisdom05:13 How to navigate life's challenges06:30 Understanding self-knowledge08:26 How to build self-love09:42 Having faith beyond relationships19:22 The power of self-likingResources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're getting real about something that hits deep - what do you do when someone just stops showing up for you emotionally? You know that feeling when their energy shifts, the care fades, and you're left wondering what happened?After seeing so many TikTok conversations about love avoidance and no contact, I knew it was time to dive into this topic heart-first. Because let's be honest - whether it's a romantic partner, a friend, or even family, that emotional withdrawal hits different when it comes from someone you truly care about.This isn't just another "move on" conversation. We're getting into the nitty-gritty of how to hold onto your worth when someone's actions (or lack thereof) have you questioning everything. I'm sharing three powerful strategies that have helped not just my clients, but myself too, in navigating these tough waters.In this episode, we cover…04:31 When you grieve the fantasy of relationships06:35 Your coping toolkit08:52 Coping Strategy 115:57 Coping Strategy 221:46 Coping Strategy 335:41 The No-Contact StrategyResources mentioned in the episode:Listen to Episode 266: 7 Benefits of Taking it Slow in a RelationshipListen to Episode 137: 4 Ways to Exit Love DeprivationGet your 90-Day No-Contact KitReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we dive into the seven benefits of taking it slow in a relationship — the power of a 'slow burn.' I discuss the reasons behind why rushing into relationships can be problematic, especially for love addicts, and share practical tips on how to pace relationships effectively. I also explore how going slow helps in truly understanding your partner, avoiding unhealthy attachments, and building a stronger foundation for your love story. This episode is perfect for hopeless romantics who want to avoid 'struggle love' and genuinely find a fulfilling relationship.In this episode, we cover…00:17 Understanding love addiction and avoidance2:55 Seven benefits of going slow in relationships28:36 The impact of sex and affection34:40 Self-love and building a fulfilling lifeResources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled. Get 25% off enrollment through November 1st using the code NEWSTUDENT.Enroll in Dating 101 for Love Addicts if you are ready to choose the RIGHT ones to love without losing yourself.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode, I review 3 hidden ways we may unknowingly ignore (and encourage) red flags in new people we meet.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode, I talk about why I'm quitting and what's coming next for Black Girls Heal!Resources mentioned in the episode:Register for the BGH Lover Girl's Weekend Workshop on Saturday,, February 8, 2025 at blackgirlsheal.org/eventsReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled. Get 25% off enrollment through November 1st using the code NEWSTUDENTBook a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we explore the importance of checking the facts when feeling threatened, especially for those healing from trauma. We discuss how trauma can heighten our threat response, making it difficult to discern real threats from perceived ones. The episode delves into the skill of 'checking the facts,' a concept derived from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), outlining practical steps to take for regulating emotions and improving conflict resolution. My personal stories and examples highlight the nuances of threat perception, emotional regulation, and the impact of trauma on relationships. We also tackle the challenge of making amends if you realize you've misunderstood a situation or person. Tune in for essential tips on fostering better personal relationships and self-awareness.In this episode, we cover…01:06 Understanding trauma and threat response02:55 The skill of “Checking the Facts”04:20 Dialectical Behavior Therapy Explained07:03 Personal reflections on trauma responses18:42 Steps to check the facts30:17 Why you should challenge your assumptions44:36 How to make amends with healthy and available peopleResources mentioned in the episode:Book a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into the poignant topic of rejection, inspired by heartfelt conversations from my recent cruise trip. Focusing on love addiction, I discuss the fear of abandonment and the insecurities it breeds. Together, we explore how to cope with rejection, understand its impact, and reclaim our power. You'll learn about the importance of not internalizing rejection, viewing it as a reflection of the other person's issues, and embracing your true self. Join me as we unravel the layers of rejection and discover ways to heal and grow.In this episode, we cover…02:29 How to cope with rejection05:23 Examples of rejection07:23 Dealing with rejection14:39 Why you should embrace your true self22:01 Avoiding relationship pitfallsResources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into a major milestone — our very first video podcast episode! After years of audio-only recordings, I am showing up in video to connect with you more intimately. I start with a heartfelt check-in, sharing my personal experiences of transitions and the collective 'hell' many of us have gone through recently in various aspects of our lives. Today's episode is all about understanding the importance of pacing in dating for love addicts, discussing how unresolved traumas, father wounds, and touch starvation can lead us to rush into relationships. Learn practical steps on how to pace yourself, maintain your identity, and find joy in your current life while still holding space for the love you desire. Plus, get updates on the new format of the Recovery School and upcoming changes in my services. This episode is packed with insights and actionable advice to help you on your journey to healing and self-love.In this episode, we cover…04:09 Navigating personal transitions06:05 Why you should embrace the unknown13:22 Healthy Love vs. Love Addiction19:14 The importance of pacing in relationships30:06 Leveling up in healing32:22 How unresolved father wounds affect pacing in relationships39:09 What is touch starvation?47:30 How to ground in your own life54:20 Upcoming changes and announcements to Black Girls HealResources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Book a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I delve into the intricacies of implementing a no-contact process while co-parenting. This much-requested topic focuses on maintaining emotional neutrality and setting firm boundaries when you have to communicate with a co-parent for the sake of your children. I’ll share practical steps and tips designed to help you stay centered and avoid the emotional triggers that led you to this place. Disclaimer: This advice is not suitable for relationships involving physical domestic violence; please seek appropriate support if that is your situation.In this episode, we cover…01:41 Challenges of co-parenting during no-contact03:23 An important disclaimer05:50 Importance of emotional neutrality11:48 Seeing your co-parent as a co-worker24:13 Using parenting apps for communication27:00 How to set boundaries to avoid emotional traps31:40 How to deal with toxic relationships39:28 Communicating with children during no contactResources mentioned in the episode:Get the support of our 90-Day No Contact Support Kit to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.Listen to Episode 253: The 4 Steps of No ContactReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we're diving into the world of love avoidance and how to navigate new relationships when you're healing from it. We'll talk about understanding intimacy disorders, recovering from those avoidant patterns, and how to communicate your needs in a healthy way.Whether you're just starting in your recovery, you're in a new relationship, or even in a long-term one, this episode is packed with tips to help you stay balanced and build stronger connections.In this episode, we cover…01:33 Understanding Love Avoidance02:30 The different archetypes of intimacy disorders 03:22 How to navigate love addiction and avoidance05:26 Practical tips for love avoidants10:12 Ways to share your life as a recovering love avoidant19:00 How to initiate compliments and kindness25:09 Why you should embrace vulnerabilityResources mentioned in the episode:Listen to Episode 258: What to Do When You Like Someone as a Love AddictReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into the intricacies of managing romantic relationships for those in recovery from love addiction. We discuss the importance of staying in touch with your body, practicing self-affirmation, and maintaining your own life and identity. These actionable tips are geared to help you stay balanced while developing healthy, secure connections. Whether you're in a new relationship or already partnered, these strategies will guide you towards emotional stability and personal growth.In this episode, we cover…01:08 Understanding love addiction02:22 Symptoms of love addiction04:07 Keys to staying balanced in relationships13:38 The importance of self-affirmation21:14 Why you should maintain your own lifeResources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
You know that feeling when things don't go as planned and you're left feeling disappointed? Yeah, we've all been there. This week on the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving deep into how to manage unrealistic expectations and fantasies in your relationships so you can avoid those heartbreaks.We're going to break down how to set realistic standards, the difference between your hopes and someone else's reality, and why putting people on pedestals is a one-way ticket to heartbreak. Tune in to learn how to keep your heart happy and your expectations in check.In this episode, we cover…03:32 Understanding why you have unrealistic expectations04:02 The impact of high expectations in relationships04:35 How to balance standards and emotional safety05:43 Why you should see people for who they are10:16 How to avoid the pedestal trap15:59 Breaking the cycle of unrealistic expectationsResources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of the Black Girls Heal, we’re going to be talking about something really deep today: how what happened to us as kids can mess with our love lives BIG TIME. We're diving into childhood emotional neglect and how it can lead to those addictive relationships we sometimes find ourselves in.It's wild how many of us deal with the fallout from not feeling seen or heard as kids. It's like this sneaky little pattern that shows up in our adult lives, making us chase love in all the wrong places. We'll break down what emotional neglect actually looks like, how it sticks with us, and how it sparks addictive relationships.Don't worry! This episode isn't just about the problem. We're gonna talk about healing too. It's all about understanding where this stuff comes from so we can start breaking those unhealthy patterns and building the love we deserve.In this episode, we cover…00:17 What is childhood emotional neglect?01:47 The impact of childhood emotional neglect on relationships03:08 What is love addiction?03:32 Signs of emotional neglect in your life06:51 How to break the cycle of emotional neglect09:03 The connection between neglect and love addiction12:03 Steps to overcome love addiction24:00 Why you should heal with a communityResources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Sign up for the Healed and Loved Woman Retreat waitlist.Running On Empty by Jonice WebbCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I dive deep into the lessons I've learned over my 10 years of recovery from love addiction. This journey has been incredibly personal and transformative. Many of you have watched and supported me through it all—clients, friends, and those who know me through this podcast. I reflect on the challenges, the growth, and the relationships that have shaped me, culminating in a discussion inspired by a poignant poem that has guided me. Join me as I share my story, my insights as a therapist, and the lessons that have helped me build a stronger, healthier relationship with myself. Whether you're just starting your journey or have been here for a while, I hope my experiences resonate with you and offer inspiration for your own path to self-acceptance and self-love.In this episode, we cover…00:57 My journey of love addiction recovery02:09 The poem that changed everything03:37 My personal background and struggles with love addiction06:56 Lessons from my love addiction recovery journey13:08 The turning point in my love addiction recovery journey15:29 How I embraced self-love and independence39:03 Final reflections and takeawaysResources mentioned in the episode:Join our 90-Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive deep into financial codependency—a pattern where you feel obligated to support others financially, even to your own detriment. We explore its roots, how it manifests in various relationships, and the emotional toll it takes. You'll learn about practical steps to break free from this cycle, including a 90-day no-contact financial challenge to help reset your finances and reclaim your well-being. We also provide resources to support your journey, including workshops on money trauma and no-contact groups. Join us as we focus on reclaiming control, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing self-care in your financial life.In this episode, we cover…02:47 What does financial codependency mean?03:47 How to recognize financial codependency in relationships08:21 How to start breaking the cycle of financial codependency25:52 How to implement no-contact with financial codependency32:34 Practical steps for financial independence43:16 Resources to support your no-contact journeyResources mentioned in the episode:Join our 90-Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.Start healing the wounds that sabotage financial goals, increase fear and anxiety around money, and interrupt the ability to enjoy financial abundance and prosperity through the Money Rehab workshop.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I talk about the power of "no contact" as a tool to finally break free from toxic relationships.You know how it goes – you finally decide to walk away, but somehow, you end up back in contact with that person who just brings you down. It's frustrating, right? Well, here's the thing: most setbacks in our healing journeys happen because we keep connections with folks who are bad for us.In the episode, I'll walk you through four key steps to make no-contact work. We'll talk about the withdrawal symptoms you might experience, both physical and emotional (because yes, this can be a rollercoaster!). I'll also share tips on setting intentions for your no-contact period and how to cut off those lingering fantasies that hold you back.In this episode, we cover…00:58 What is No-Contact?02:45 Why you should take a 90-day break03:10 Four steps to no-contact03:47 Withdrawal symptoms you might experience16:20 What it looks like to cut off all contact21:17 How to cut off lingering fantasies29:26 Support resources to start your no-contact journeyResources mentioned in the episode:Join our 90-Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we revisit the topic of 'No Contact' and the seven-day 'Don't Text Them: Sit on Your Effing Hands Challenge.' This discussion is aimed at those caught in addictive or trauma-bonded relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships. We discuss topics like recognizing toxic relationships, the importance of breaking the cycle for self-healing, and the benefits of having a support system during this process. We also touch on the new 90-Day No Contact Support Group, offering 90-day support for those serious about cutting trauma bonds. Tune in to learn why you deserve fulfilling relationships and how to reclaim your power and joy.In this episode, we cover…01:05 The importance of no contact05:04 The Sit on Your Hands Challenge05:28 Who this episode is for and not for16:34 How to recognize avoidant behavior21:58 How to start making decisions from a place of wholeness23:13 Implementing the Sit on Your Hands Challenge24:06 Handling communication during the challenge25:08 Ways to focus on yourself and other relationships28:58 How to respond to their messages32:42 Ways to engage in self-care and hobbiesResources mentioned in the episode:Join our 90 Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealThanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Join our free Black Girls Heal Circle Community for access to:Inspiration and support regarding love addiction, love avoidance, healing trauma and improving your self esteemAccess to our free resource libraryConnect & build sisterhood with other women on their healing journey as wellClick here to join the new free Black Girls Heal Circle CommunityOur Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com* Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com* Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEALSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Comments (13)

Shanngela

i enjoy your show but the volume is loud for your intro, extremely low during your content and then loud advertisements.

Dec 20th
Reply

Torah S

So good, and applies to Father Wounds as well. Please do Father Wounds please lol

Jun 5th
Reply

Torah S

Yes for this can we discuss healing Father wounds too...

Jun 5th
Reply

Jessimmy K

Jan 8th
Reply

Legacy Jones

omg I sooo needed to hear this session. today was my first time finding this podcast and I'm hooked already. my eyes welled up with water the whole time I was listening to you all because all that your speaking of is so me!!!! I can't wait to listen to more of your content...

Sep 7th
Reply

Miss T

TY TY This was a very helpful to hear that it is easy to take on other people trauma and narratives. Toast:)....To Happy and Healthy Boundaries and Dating. Namaste 🐬 Peace 💃Shalom 🐒

Dec 18th
Reply

Sherronda Davis

wow this was just for me in this moment. wish we could talk

Oct 4th
Reply

Christina Pye

I just listened to this. and it's so funny that I had a situation happen recently, and then listening to this, brought everything into perspective. It was extremely helpful, and my truth.

Sep 30th
Reply

Shon B

YAS!!!!!! This was so good!! Great info!!

Aug 5th
Reply (1)

Katherine Muraguri

Amazing podcast. Honest, compassionate, challenging and meets you right where you are.

Nov 4th
Reply

Anointed Vessel

I am new to this podcast and I'm so grateful I found it! this podcast is amazing... so thoughtful.... so wonderful.... so insightful.... thank you for helping this Black Girl Heal ❤️

Jul 27th
Reply

Moni B. Purple

The truth hurts, but it will help to grow, change and heal ourselves. Thanks for keeping it real.

Mar 26th
Reply