CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

Reconciliation is a process that requires both parties to take responsibility, acknowledge their roles, apologize, and work towards a new relationship. Reconciliation should move slowly, especially in cases of long-standing estrangement or rifts. Setting boundaries, managing expectations, and accepting family members as they are now are all important as a family works toward making things better. Celebrate small victories along the way, and remember that reconciliation is not a final destination but a process that may involve steps forward and backward. A holiday related question from a Calling Home listener about why families often cater to the most toxic individual during celebrations and holidays ends todays episode. Today's episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Use code homefree for FREE breakfast for life - get one breakfast item per box while your subscription is active. HeloFresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Whitney talks with Elizabeth Earnshaw, a marriage and family therapist, about navigating relationships with in-laws. They explore the importance of finding common ground with your partner's family and setting boundaries. They also discuss a Reddit post about a conflict over a child's last name, highlighting the importance of communication and understanding in such situations. Elizabeth also emphasizes the importance of the couple acting as a team and understanding each other's perspectives, and they also discuss the potential harm of criticizing in-laws and the benefits of having in-laws involved in one's life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some tips to help you survive Thanksgiving with your family! Expect your family to be the same as they are every other day, complete with their flaws and positive traits. Remember that you are an adult and have the power to decide how you spend your day. Get clear on your limits and plan for when those limits are reached. Identify what is important to you on this day and align your actions with those values. Avoid picking battles or starting a healing journey with your family on this day. If anything goes wrong, remember that a holiday is just a day and it will end. HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whitney talks about the impact of emotionally immature parents on their children. She explains that emotionally immature parents often lack empathy, struggle to apologize or admit fault, and are often well-liked in their communities due to their ability to maintain surface-level relationships. They also tend to provide for their children in practical ways, but fail to meet their emotional needs. We also have Calling Home listener questions about this same topic, including coping with 'the silent treatment' and the fear of becoming like them. Awareness of one's own trauma can prevent the repetition of harmful patterns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whitney is talking with Holly Whitaker, author and founder of Tempest, about the impact of alcohol on family dynamics. Holly believes that society's positive messaging around drinking often overlooks the negative impact it can have on relationships. She believes that the question should not be whether one is an alcoholic, but rather if alcohol negatively impacts one's life and if steps should be taken to address the relationship with it. She also discusses the lack of informed consent around alcohol consumption, as many people are not fully aware of the potential consequences. She suggests that if alcohol feels uncomfortable or difficult, it's an invitation to interrogate one's relationship with it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whitney talks how to navigate events and celebrations with a highly dysfunctional family, offering tips on how to deal with difficult family dynamics, such as setting boundaries and preparing for situations that may arise. Introducing The Calling Home community, a platform offering support groups, exclusive content, and Q&A sessions with experts. Listener questions: Dealing with family issues during significant life events, such as weddings and funerals. This week's sponsors are: Alzheimer's Association - join the Walk to End Alzheimer's and help us make a brighter future for all those affected by Alzheimers's. Make a difference today Hello Fresh — use code 50home to save 50% and get free shipping Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whitney talks with Brady Nathan, a mother who shares the story of her late son Jack. Jack started the Happy Jack World Project to help other kids struggling with mental health issues before his untimely death due to a fentanyl-laced Percocet. Brady discusses the importance of listening to children when they express unhappiness, even if their lives seem perfect from an outside perspective. She also emphasizes the need for parents to allow their children to lead their own lives, rather than imposing their own expectations. Brady continues to run the Happy Jack World Project, which has donated over $100,000 to various foundations, and advocates for greater awareness of the dangers of fentanyl and recreational drug use. This week's sponsors are: Hello Fresh — use code 50home to save 50% and get free shipping Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, let's get into the complexities of family dynamics, particularly when two families merge through a relationship or marriage. Understanding and accepting differences in family systems, communication styles, and cultural backgrounds are all key for success ... but not always easy. A good reminder to distinguish between differences that are merely annoying and those that are problematic or dangerous. Listener questions this episode include navigating relationships with religious family members after losing faith, and another about reconciling with the idea that parents did their best with the tools they had, even when it feels like they could have done more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whitney discusses the issue of 'sharenting' or oversharing children's lives on social media with guest Sarah Adams. Sarah is a mother of two, and she argues that this practice can be a form of child exploitation, as it often involves sharing children's experiences with a large and potentially dangerous audience for entertainment purposes. She wants parents to reconsider the impact this could have on their children's future and their right to privacy. Sarah also discusses the different categories of parents who overshare, including new parents, 'medical mamas' who share their children's medical information, and those who seek online popularity. She advises parents to reflect on their sharing practices and to treat their children as autonomous human beings rather than props for content. Qeepsake – use code CALLINGHOME to get 20% off your annual subscription. We text you questions and you text us the memories you want to hold tight. Alzheimer's Association - join the Walk to End Alzheimer's and help us make a brighter future for all those affected by Alzheimers's. Make a difference today Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Calling Home, Whitney discusses the impact of parent-child relationships in the context of substance abuse. She shares a story about a young man who was introduced to drugs by his mother at the age of 12, highlighting the long-term effects of such experiences. Whitney emphasizes the importance of understanding the needs that children are trying to communicate through their actions and decisions. She also answers listener questions about feeling abandoned by a parent and how to reconnect with estranged adult children. Whitney advises patience, understanding, and willingness to hear and respect the perspectives of the children in these situations. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Psychologist and author Josh Coleman joins Whitney to talk through navigating difficult relationships between parents and their adult children. Dr. Coleman emphasizes the importance of parents being willing to engage in open, non-defensive conversations with their adult children to rebuild connections. He also discusses the cultural shift in family dynamics over the past half-century, with younger generations placing more emphasis on mental health, happiness, and personal growth. Whitney and Dr. Coleman agree that both parents and adult children have a role to play in repairing relationships, but ultimately, the responsibility lies with the parents. They also discuss the impact of high expectations on parent-child relationships, with Dr. Coleman suggesting that parenting only plays a small part in how individuals turn out, with genetics, social class, and other factors playing a larger role. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whitney talks with Eve Rodsky, creator of a system designed to balance the domestic workload in homes. Eve's system, Fair Play, is based on the idea of treating homes as important organizations, with clearly defined expectations and roles for each member. The system is built on three key principles: boundaries, systems, and communication. Eve emphasizes the importance of each person owning their tasks, from conception to execution, to ensure efficiency and accountability. She also highlights the need for women to value their time as much as men do, and for men to be active participants in domestic life. She believes that for women to fully step into their power outside the home, men must be invited into their full power within the home. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whitney talks about accountability in parent-child relationships: children should not be held accountable for their actions in the same way as adults there is a power differential between parents and children which continues into adulthood parents need to to consider how their actions would have felt to their child at the time And Whitney's first questions from her voicemail (866-CALL HOME): dealing with anxiety over running into estranged family members supporting a spouse who is hesitant to reconcile with their parents Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The CALLING HOME podcast is LIVE. What you can expect, who Whitney's guests will be, and how YOU can get involved. (Hint: 866-CALL-HOME) THANK YOU for being here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm Whitney Goodman. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, and you may know me from the Instagram account, SitWithWhit. I help adults have better family relationships. Season one of this podcast is going to be a combination of Q & A episodes, where I talk about what I'm noticing in my sessions, what I'm seeing online, and expanding on some of my most popular social media content.  I'll also take questions from you at 866-225-5466. My goal is to help you feel less alone. I'm also doing a series of interviews with experts, authors, people in the field, and 'regular' people that I've seen on TikTok who are sharing valuable information in the space of family relationships. My first guests include Eve Rodsky, Elizabeth Earnshaw, and Leslie Priscilla. I am so excited to dive into this season with you.  Welcome to The Calling Home podcast. I'm glad you're here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices