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Childproof

Author: Betches Media

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Parenting is hard, but it's even harder when you feel alone and have only the sounds of Cocomelon to keep you company. Betches Media’s Childproof is a parenting chat show for when you’re craving adult conversation. As parents to three kids each, co-hosts Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom have been there. They know that sometimes our kids are the ones on the verge of a tantrum, and that sometimes it’s us. Childproof attempts to figure out the dos, don’ts, and f*ck its of modern parenthood. From yelling at your kids (we’ve all done it) to finding a sleep schedule that doesn’t ruin your life, Gwenna and Tori share the challenges they’ve faced and the lessons they’ve learned, and are eager to share their experiences through a mix of one-on-one conversations, guest appearances, and input from listeners revealing their own parenting secrets. Clearly, we could use some help from everyone and their mother.

87 Episodes
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Have a melancholy Christmas, it is…a time of year. This week, Gwenna and Tori share their struggle to get into the holiday spirit, and the way they're living vicariously through their kids' joy. They unpack the feeling of inadequacy wrapped up in Elf on a Shelf, the unrealistic expectations that social media sets us up for, and quality over quantity when it comes to gifts for your kids. Sometimes, the simplest family traditions can make this time of year the most special, and it's ok to let go of traditions that no longer spark joy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Sometimes, you just have to push through the discomfort and get really specific. This week, Gwenna and Tori discuss what moms actually want for the holidays, how to give a truly thoughtful gift that won't break the bank, and demystifying the idea that you are "hard to shop for." Don't forget to think about yourself for once - after all, if you don't know what you want, how is anyone else supposed to figure it out? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
It’s always parenting on hard mode when you’re parenting anywhere else but home territory. This week, Gwenna and Tori share their ultimate Thanksgiving food rankings for both eating and cooking, and Gwenna vents about the nightmare of holiday house hopping. Then, they share some helpful tips for ways that child-free people hosting Thanksgiving can prepare their house for young kids (consider the forbidden spaghetti and cover your sockets), and tips for parents who are worried about how their kids will handle being in an unfamiliar space (so many extra pairs of underwear). Email us at childproof@betches.com with your most chaotic holiday stories! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Your best is still your best when you don't have as much to give. This week, Gwenna and Tori talk all about emotions, what to do with them, and how to feel your feelings without making them everyone else's problem. They get into their coping mechanisms, how to teach your kids about processing their emotions, and the ways we co-regulate with other adults both IRL and online. Whether your head hurts or your heart hurts, you deserve to feel better. Email us at childproof@betches.com to let us know how you regulate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Good parents never stop thinking they’re doing a bad job; bad parents never stop to wonder if they’re doing a good one. This week, Gwenna and Tori turn to the Childproof inbox to read your emails, and share some thoughts of their own. Much to Gwenna's dismay, it turns out Surge *did* have a short-lived revival. And much to Tori's dismay, the debate about what part of NY is actually Upstate appears to be never-ending. They cover everything from the very relatable fear of messing up your kids, to an ingenious hack for winning arguments, some fresh takes on school subject folder colors, and what happens when you become obsessed with Dr. Kevorkian. Gwenna successfully Rick Rolls her husband, Tori manages to reference Hamilton more than twice, and they share the universally understood Feet Under The Door method of bringing your kids into public bathrooms. Finally, they close out the episode with an impassioned rant about changing tables. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Just because you've never *seen* a tiger robot stuffy, that doesn't meant it doesn't exist. This week, Gwenna and Tori are here to help distract you from the news cycle with a mini games episode. They share their latest cute kid-isms ("My leg brains forgot"), pet updates, thoughts on all the most nostalgic foods from their own childhood (do Lunchables actually taste worse now or have our tastebuds changed?), and a few rounds of Would You Rather. To close out the episode, they try their best to stump each other with 2 Truths and a Lie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Have you ever found yourself googling "Why is my child saying gyatt?" into the wee hours of the morning? This week, Gwenna and Tori turn to Google Auto Complete for the internet's most burning parenting questions, and share their insights. They tackle everything from "Why do kids walk on their toes?" and "When should kids learn to read?" to "When should parents have The Talk?" and what to do if "My kid keeps getting bit at daycare." They unpack the joys of kids finding their own way to vampire literature, the pains of tummy time, and why lying might not be as big of a red flag as you think. Ultimately, if you're googling it, it might be time to just call your doctor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If your child has ever screamed in a library, had a melt down in the freezer aisle, or if you've ever felt like apologizing for having kids (you don't!), then this episode is for you. In this episode of Childproof, Tori and Gwenna discuss the unpredictable nature of parenting, particularly in public settings. Together they chat about focusing on teaching children safety, social skills, and empathy while setting expectations. They dive into the challenges parents face when navigating public environments with children and the strategies they employ to foster good behavior and awareness in their kids. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Parental Paradox

The Parental Paradox

2024-10-1650:111

Why does it seem like reverse psychology only works when you don't want it to!? In this episode, Tori and Gwenna explore the humorous and often frustrating paradoxes of parenting. They discuss the conundrum of finding clothes that actually fit children, how illnesses always seems to strike before vacation, and the flabbergasting peculiarities of children's memories. Tori and Gwenna explore the complexities of their children's development, the significance of creating safe spaces for sharing, and the humorous yet frustrating realities of navigating food preferences and helpfulness in children.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If you're a hobby collector, this episode is for you. Gwenna and Tori discuss their many extracurricular pastimes, past and present (RIP Tori's miniature building), and why occupying your hands can be the key to quieting your mind. They catch each other up on their kids' hobbies, how to figure out if their latest fixation is a true passion or just a phase, and what to do when your kid gets really into something you never cared about before. Then, they cover the ways parents can avoid the pitfall of making your kids your hobby at the expense of their own personal interests. And finally, they highlight the importance of building in breaks (and boredom) into both your and your kids' schedules. Make sure to check out Gwenna's Hobby series over on her YouTube Channel, Pleasant Peasant Media! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Teachers are a vital part of our village, and they are on our side. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori unpack all things back to school, from field trips, to pockets full of rocks, and bafflingly disorganized folders. They tackle the question that every parent faces when it comes to their kids’ projects: keep or throw away? And is your kid’s head just itchy, or it is another lice outbreak? All we know for sure, is that a tiny dinosaur is a very tiny problem. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
It’s time for another mail bag! Gwenna and Tori dive right into the Childproof inbox to see what’s been on the listeners’ minds, and share some stories of their own. They cover everything from embarrassing your kids, to learning to give yourself grace when you lose your cool, and memories of getting lost in the supermarket. Then, in a segment sponsored by Splash Refresher, they share some of their self-care essentials. And finally, they close out the episode with some listener reviews. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Sometimes, bribery is the solution to the problems you create for yourself. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori compare notes on some of the weird things they’ve done and said for their kids, from emotional support rats, to Hamilton hyper-fixations, and explaining how libraries work. Gwenna discovers that breakfast candy can rewire years of sleep habits, Tori explains a hack for making sandwiches more palatable for their kid, and they go over their Halloween essentials in a special segment sponsored by Splash Refresher. Tori tells Gwenna about their kid’s “YouTube Channel” (vlogs on Tori’s camera roll that never get posted anywhere), which leads into a discussion about Instagram’s new Teen Accounts and how parents can keep their kids safe on social media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
There is no right or wrong way to celebrate birthdays. In this episode, Tori and Gwenna share their reasons for not hosting parties, the challenges of planning and organizing kids parties, and the importance of accessibility and inclusivity. They also talk about their own birthday traditions and celebrations, including decorations and treats. They share tips and advice on topics such as opening presents at the party, handling rowdy behavior, sending invitations, dealing with cake mishaps, communicating dietary needs, and talking to kids about giving and receiving gifts. Plus, Tori and Gwenna share their parenting must haves in a special segment sponsored by Splash Refresher! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If a child is old enough to ask a question, they are old enough to deserve an answer. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori discuss the importance of having hard conversations with kids about topics like death, divorce, and illness. They also highlight the need to take time to think before responding to difficult questions and to approach these conversations in a developmentally appropriate way. They share personal experiences of navigating difficult conversations, such as the death of a pet and a family member's heart attack. They also discuss the role of humor in coping with difficult situations and the importance of creating a safe space for children to express their feelings. Overall, the conversation highlights the need for open and honest communication with children while considering their individual needs and understanding. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Routines, habits, schedules, and systems are different but interconnected. In this episode, Tori and Gwenna share personal examples of how they have implemented systems in their own lives, such as organizing art supplies and keeping track of iPads. They also discuss the importance of buy-in from children and how to get them involved in the system-building process. Together they discuss the need to adapt and modify systems as children grow and circumstances change. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Goblins Go To The Zoo

Goblins Go To The Zoo

2024-08-2149:11

Did you think you were going to be packing bento boxes or going on every field trip, but then never did? That’s ok, us too. In this episode, Tori and Gwenna discuss their expectations of parenthood versus the reality. They explore how our expectations can be way different than the realities of parenting, focusing on various aspects such as teaching kids to drive, cooking creative meals, taking family photos, managing screen time, and participating in sports activities. Together, they highlight how the challenges and joys of parenting expand when we adapt and adjust to the reality of expectations as children grow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Kids music parents will actually like?! This week, Tori and Gwenna are joined by Tim Kubart, a Grammy Award winning children’s musician, to share his journey into the world of children's music and his approach to creating engaging and meaningful songs for kids. Together they discuss the importance of finding a balance between not talking down to kids and not talking over their heads, while making music that is accessible and enjoyable for parents, too! Tim delves into the importance of honesty and kindness, his approach to tackling real issues like children’s mental health, and his collaboration with illustrator Laurie Richmond on his book 'Oopsie Do'. Plus, Tim discusses his new song, 'Really Real You' - trust us, you won’t be able to resist a dance party with your kiddos! @timkubart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
There Be Dragons

There Be Dragons

2024-08-0749:031

In this episode, Tori and Gwenna dive into the complexities of parenting with wisdom and humor as they tackle the tough questions: Should you skip errands on a rough day? How can parents help kids manage their fears? They offer invaluable advice on staying flexible, regulating emotions, and embracing the silly moments with your little ones. Drawing from personal experiences, they offer insights on navigating transitions like moving homes and helping kids transition from cribs to big beds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
“Who is ready for their kids to go back to school?!” If you raised your hand, you’re in good company. In this episode, Gwenna and Tori discuss the buzz of the new school year, the challenges of back-to-school shopping, and strategies for buying school supplies. Their mantra: "Reuse, reuse, reuse!" In this anticipatory episode, they touch on everything from drop-off line etiquette to uncomfy school shoes to finding peace in not being a Bento-box parent. Plus, the importance of involving teachers in decisions about fidgets and school supplies that double as toys (because we all know it's coming). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Comments (12)

Beka Schaub

haha no truer statement than the grocery store would you rather!

Nov 6th
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Beka Schaub

Red is totally math. 😆

Oct 4th
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Beka Schaub

OMG My husband and I have the dead pet convo about our dogs with each other regularly. They're the best and it does totally suck to think about them no longer being around.

Sep 10th
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Beka Schaub

4 yo sleep sack would be a sleeping bag. lol

Apr 24th
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Afra Tanzeem

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Jan 29th
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Makayla Moccabee

I agree with this. I use totes. we have 6 kids & 2 adults in a tiny home. dressers are not a thing. Laundry is hard enough & someone one time said hey I use a tote system & I've never looked back each person has a tote for their clothes & a laundry basket above the washer and dryer for their clean clothes. I fill them up all week and on Sundays I hand them to the kids and they dump them back in the tote & give them back. it's amazing.

Jun 22nd
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Samantha Crawford

I love Monopoly!!! I can play all day me and Abby would get along 😆

May 17th
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Rachel Cole

Sooo thankful this is on Castbox! I can't wait to listen.

May 4th
Reply

Megan Rausch

I love you two!! Thank you for all the responsive-parenting advice, cannot wait for all these episodes!

May 3rd
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Sabrina Boswell

I LOVE THEIR YOUTUBE VIDEOS. Watch some. I dare y'all.

May 1st
Reply

Oscar Wilson

so excited for this!!!

Apr 26th
Reply (1)