Codependency Alchemy: The Podcast

Do you ever feel anxious but can’t quite pinpoint why? In this podcast live episode I am sharing my personal experience of navigating discomfort and anxiety, walking you through my process of identifying triggers and reflecting on the frustration of revisiting the same wounds. We’ll talk about the importance of self-compassion in the healing journey, and practical ways to tend to intrusive thoughts and emotional overwhelm.This episode is for you if:* You struggle with anxiety and want a deeper understanding of its roots.* You feel frustrated revisiting the same emotional wounds and want to cultivate more self-compassion.* You’re navigating changes in relationships and community as you grow.Want to join our next Podcast Live event? Make sure you become a free subscriber on our Codependency Alchemy Substack here.SPECIAL INTRO OFFER: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and save 40% off! 👉🏾 Click here to join now!MASTERMIND WAITLIST: This Mastermind is for you if you desire to fast track your healing journey through letting go of the suffocating patterns that have held you back in your life and relationships. Over the course of three months, you will learn how to implement tools and practices that will shift the way you feel and respond in your relationships. 👉🏾 Click here to join the waitlist!Grab my free Shadow Work and Inner Child GuideWatch Masterclasses from our Membership LibraryRead posts From My Journal ✍🏾Check out The Gems 💎 where you will find the resources with practical insights, tools, and wisdom to guide you on your journey. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Do you ever feel afraid of being truly seen? In this episode, Amba, a member from our Codependency Alchemy membership shares her transformative journey from seeking external validation to embracing self-love and inner trust. After reconnecting with her ex following deep inner work, she reflects on how she is struggling with fears of judgment and being seen in her work. Through a shadow work and inner child healing session, Amba reclaims her power, redefines her protectors’ roles, and steps into courage, truth, and open-hearted vulnerability. Listen in as we explore the process of releasing old fears, integrating new strengths, and cultivating self-compassion.This episode is for you if:* You struggle with the fear of being seen, judged, or rejected.* You’re working on shifting from external validation to self-love.* You want to learn how to reframe fear, meet your inner child’s needs, and embody new strengths.Codependency Alchemy is a reader-supported publication and podcast. To receive new posts and support my work and our community, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.SPECIAL INTRO OFFER: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and save 40% off! 👉🏾 Click here to join now!MASTERMIND WAITLIST: This Mastermind is for you if you desire to fast track your healing journey through letting go of the suffocating patterns that have held you back in your life and relationships. Over the course of three months, you will learn how to implement tools and practices that will shift the way you feel and respond in your relationships. 👉🏾 Click here to join the waitlist!Grab my free Shadow Work and Inner Child GuideRead posts From My Journal ✍🏾Check out The Gems 💎 where you will find the resources with practical insights, tools, and wisdom to guide you on your journey. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Do you feel overwhelmed when your child has a tantrum? In this episode, we break down the natural cycle of tantrums—beginning, middle, and end—and explore why they are a healthy release of pent-up emotions. We discuss how children attune to parent’s nervous system, the importance of regulating your own emotions, and practical techniques to help children (and adults!) process their feelings. By doing your own inner work and shifting your mindset around tantrums, you can show up with more calm, empathy, and connection.This episode is for you if:* You feel anxious, frustrated, or helpless when your child has a tantrum.* You want to learn how your nervous system impacts your child’s emotional regulation.* You’re looking for practical tools to support your child through big emotions with more confidence and ease.SPECIAL INTRO OFFER: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and save 40% off! 👉🏾 Click here to join now!MASTERMIND WAITLIST: This Mastermind is for you if you desire to fast track your healing journey through letting go of the suffocating patterns that have held you back in your life and relationships. Over the course of three months, you will learn how to implement tools and practices that will shift the way you feel and respond in your relationships. 👉🏾 Click here to join the waitlist!Grab my free Shadow Work and Inner Child GuideRead posts From My Journal ✍🏾Check out The Gems 💎 where you will find the resources with practical insights, tools, and wisdom to guide you on your journey. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Ever feel like your dreams are just out of reach, especially when the fear of failure or embarrassment keeps holding you back? In this episode, Assisi from our Codependency Alchemy membership shares how our recent Shadow Work Sunday Chat 💬 helped her start questioning her career path and the deeper desires she’s been suppressing. We dive into a shadow work and inner child healing to help her tend this part of her, and step into a more authentic version of herself—and how you can do the same in your own life.This episode is for anyone who:* Feels stuck in something that doesn’t feel aligned or satisfying.* Struggles with the fear of failure or humiliation when thinking about making changes.* Wants to learn how to use shadow work and inner child healing to step into their desires and create a life that feels true to them.If you want to listen to “The Cookie Episode” mentioned in this episode, you can listen to it here.SPECIAL INTRO OFFER: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and save 40% off! 👉🏾 Click here to join now!MASTERMIND WAITLIST: This Mastermind is for you if you desire to fast track your healing journey through letting go of the suffocating patterns that have held you back in your life and relationships. Over the course of three months, you will learn how to implement tools and practices that will shift the way you feel and respond in your relationships. 👉🏾 Click here to join the waitlist!Grab my free Shadow Work and Inner Child GuideRead posts From My Journal ✍🏾Check out The Gems 💎 where you will find the resources with practical insights, tools, and wisdom to guide you on your journey. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Have you ever felt weird about being happy that you totally self-sabotage it with limiting beliefs that make you spiral in fear or doubt? In this live episode hosted on Substack, I share about a moment of joy that took a quick turn into self-doubt and fear of judgment. After celebrating a big win, I found myself spiraling with thoughts that completely knocked me off the joy high I was riding. Together, we’re going to move through a shadow work and inner child practice around our desires… something many of us have been too scared to name.This episode is for you if:* You sometimes feel like joy, love, or success isn’t really meant for you.* You worry about being judged or losing people when you’re thriving.* You want to learn how shadow work can help you feel safe and grounded in your joy and what you desire.Want to join our next Podcast Live event? Make sure you become a free subscriber on our Codependency Alchemy Substack here.SPECIAL INTRO OFFER: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and save 40% off! 👉🏾 Click here to join now!MASTERMIND WAITLIST: This Mastermind is for you if you desire to fast track your healing journey through letting go of the suffocating patterns that have held you back in your life and relationships. Over the course of three months, you will learn how to implement tools and practices that will shift the way you feel and respond in your relationships. 👉🏾 Click here to join the waitlist!Grab my free Shadow Work and Inner Child Guide Read posts From My Journal ✍🏾Check out The Gems 💎 where you will find the resources with practical insights, tools, and wisdom to guide you on your journey. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Do you struggle with intrusive thoughts about your partner's past or find yourself self-sabotaging when things feel too good? In this episode, a member from our Codependency Alchemy membership shares her journey of recognizing codependency after a self-sabotaging moment during the holidays. Together, we explore the fears of not being "enough," the challenges of embracing happiness, and the power of community support in healing. Listen in as we dive into shadow work and inner child healing to release past burdens, reconnect with the inner child, and step into a more peaceful, present version of yourself.This episode is for you if:* You struggle with intrusive thoughts or comparing yourself in your relationship.* Happiness feels uncomfortable, and you worry good things won’t last.* You want practical tools to release the past and create more peace in the present.Codependency Alchemy is a reader-supported publication and podcast. To receive new posts and support my work and our growing community, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.SPECIAL INTRO OFFER: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and save 40% off! 👉🏾 Click here to join now!MASTERMIND WAITLIST: This Mastermind is for you if you desire to fast track your healing journey through letting go of the suffocating patterns that have held you back in your life and relationships. Over the course of three months, you will learn how to implement tools and practices that will shift the way you feel and respond in your relationships. 👉🏾 Click here to join the waitlist!Grab my free Shadow Work and Inner Child GuideRead posts From My Journal ✍🏾Check out The Gems 💎 where you will find the resources with practical insights, tools, and wisdom to guide you on your journey. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Have you ever felt like your partner just doesn’t get what you need? Maybe you’ve asked for something (more than once!) and felt crushed when they didn’t follow through. It’s frustrating, right? In this episode, we’re diving into the tricky—but super important—difference between needs, wants, and desires in relationships. I’ll share some hard-won lessons about what’s really hiding underneath those requests and how to talk about them in a way that actually lands.We’ll also chat about how shadow work and inner child healing can totally change the way you show up in your relationships. Plus, I’ve got some tips for speaking your truth with confidence and kindness.This episode is for you if:* You feel unheard or misunderstood when you ask for what you need.* You’re not sure how to tell the difference between a want, a desire, and a deeper need.* You’re ready to build healthier, more honest communication in your relationships.SPECIAL INTRO OFFER: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and save 40% off! 👉🏾 Click here to join now!MASTERMIND WAITLIST: This Mastermind is for you if you desire to fast track your healing journey through letting go of the suffocating patterns that have held you back in your life and relationships. Over the course of three months, you will learn how to implement tools and practices that will shift the way you feel and respond in your relationships. 👉🏾 Click here to join the waitlist!Grab my free Shadow Work and Inner Child GuideWatch the full masterclass on How to Effectively Communicate with Your PartnerJoin the Codependency Alchemy Broadcast Channel on InstagramRead posts From My Journal ✍🏾Check out The Gems 💎 where you will find the resources with practical insights, tools, and wisdom to guide you on your journey. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I guide Jo, a member from our Codependency Alchemy membership, through a session of shadow work and inner child healing to address feelings of invisibility and unworthiness within her partner’s family. Together, we explore the emotional impact of being unseen, create a safe space for Jo's inner child, and discuss practical ways to integrate this work into daily life.This episode is for anyone who:* Feels overlooked or excluded in family or social dynamics.* Struggles with validating their own feelings and experiences.* Wants practical tools for connecting with and healing their inner child.SPECIAL INTRO OFFER: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and save 40% off! 👉🏾 Click here to join now!MASTERMIND WAITLIST: This Mastermind is for you if you desire to fast track your healing journey through letting go of the suffocating patterns that have held you back in your life and relationships. Over the course of three months, you will learn how to implement tools and practices that will shift the way you feel and respond in your relationships. 👉🏾 Click here to join the waitlist!Grab my free Shadow Work and Inner Child GuideRead posts From My Journal ✍🏾 Check out The Gems 💎 where you will find the resources with practical insights, tools, and wisdom to guide you on your journey. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

In this live episode, I share my personal journey of rebuilding trust and navigating intimacy in relationships. We’ll explore the challenges of physical intimacy, the importance of self-validation, and how inner child work can transform triggers into opportunities for growth.This episode is for anyone who:* Struggles with vulnerability and fears rejection in relationships.* Finds physical intimacy a source of conflict or insecurity.* Wants to learn how to build trust and resolve conflicts with compassion and clarity.If you want to join our next Podcast Live on Substack, make sure you become a free subscriber by clicking here.SPECIAL INTRO OFFER: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and save 40% off! 👉🏾 Click here to join now!MASTERMIND WAITLIST: This Mastermind is for you if you desire to fast track your healing journey through letting go of the suffocating patterns that have held you back in your life and relationships. Over the course of three months, you will learn how to implement tools and practices that will shift the way you feel and respond in your relationships. 👉🏾 Click here to join the waitlist!Grab my free Shadow Work and Inner Child GuideRead posts From My Journal ✍🏾 Check out The Gems 💎 where you will find the resources with practical insights, tools, and wisdom to guide you on your journey. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Do you ever feel anxious or inadequate in your relationship, especially when intimacy isn’t present? In this episode, I guide a member from our Codependency Alchemy membership through the shadow work and inner child healing to uncover the core wounds that are fueling her fear of failure in love (specifically around intimacy, or lack of). Together, we work to validate her inner child, release the need to make everyone happy, and reconnect with her gifts to build self-trust.This episode is for anyone who:* Struggles with anxiety or fear of rejection in relationships.* Feels unworthy or inadequate without constant reassurance.* Wants to learn how to manage triggers and reconnect with their authentic self.SPECIAL INTRO OFFER: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and save 40% off! 👉🏾 Click here to join now!MASTERMIND WAITLIST: This Mastermind is for you if you desire to fast track your healing journey through letting go of the suffocating patterns that have held you back in your life and relationships. Over the course of three months, you will learn how to implement tools and practices that will shift the way you feel and respond in your relationships. 👉🏾 Click here to join the waitlist!“I was constantly anxious and shutting down in any conversation that I perceived as conflict. As a lifelong people pleaser I often put my feelings and needs after everyone else’s. After only 12 days in this Mastermind group I was able to calmly communicate boundaries to my husband and that was something I was never able to do before.” - Sarai (Spring 2024 co-hort)Read posts From My Journal ✍🏾Check out The Gems 💎 where you will find the resources with practical insights, tools, and wisdom to guide you on your journey. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Have you ever felt dismissed or unseen by your partner, especially during stressful times like the holidays? In this episode, I share real-life moments from my relationship with Justin, unpacking the triggers that surfaced during our trip home. Through shadow work and inner child healing, I reconnected with my younger self, gained clarity on my needs, and approached the conflict with more compassion and a deeper understanding of both myself and him.This episode is for anyone who:* Struggles with feeling dismissed or unimportant in their relationship.* Finds themselves triggered when returning home or navigating family dynamics.* Wants to learn how to use journaling, somatic practices, and inner child healing to navigate relationship challenges with empathy and self-awareness.SPECIAL INTRO OFFER: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and save 40% off! 👉🏾 Click here to join now!Read the full post: "Triggered AF" and other posts From My Journal ✍🏾 if you want the raw and unfiltered thoughts, reflections, and lessons from my own healing journey.Check out The Gems 💎 where you will find the resources with practical insights, tools, and wisdom to guide you on your journey.If you benefit from Codependency Alchemy, the podcast or this community, you can become a paid subscriber and support me in my mission of making this work and these resources accessible for those who need it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

STAY CONNECTED! Click here to join the Codependency Alchemy MembershipListen to Luce's Soul Retrieval session here.In this episode:* How Luce discovered codependency work and what led her to it* What her initial thoughts and hesitations were around codependency and inner child work* How the work we do in the Codependency Alchemy membership has transformed her life, and the breakthroughs she has had since joining* The insights and gifts that she has uncovered through inner child healing This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

Updates: Next week’s podcast will be the last episode of the year as I take a break to focus on our community here on Substack. I’m excited to create deeper connections and introduce new, fun ways for us to connect. If you haven’t already, download the Substack app to join in!Also, a quick reminder—membership is still just $9/month for now, but the price will increase in the new year so if you’ve been thinking about joining make sure you hop in now!👉🏾Join the Codependency Alchemy MembershipThis week on our 1:1 session episode, Codependency Alchemy member Rachael came to the call experiencing a pattern of needing to have everything figured out before taking action— something I know I certainly relate to!You asked for it, here it is…I haven’t opened one-on-one sessions up to the public in a veryyyy long time, but it’s clear there is a huge need for it right now, as many of us are experiencing the HARDEST moments in our relationships— it kind of feels like a pressure cooker, doesn’t it? Let’s just say, in this session you’ll start to find the release valve.Spots are limited so make sure to grab one before they run out!Book a one-on-one Codependency Healing Session This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

In today’s post, I’m sharing a few things I wish I had known at the start of my relationship with Justin, and honestly, even before I started dating anyone. These realizations have been game-changers for me, and I hope they resonate with you too.Download my free Shadow Work and Inner Child Guide to get a printable worksheet that you can use again and again!Upcoming Events for Codependency Alchemy👉🏾 GET 10% OFF ON MEMBERSHIPAs a Codependency Alchemy member, you have access to a library of resources aimed at helping you bring deeper awareness to the root of your codependency tendencies. Members looking to get the most out of their membership and wanting to start making profound shifts in their life can access masterclasses, meetups, private podcast episodes, and guided meditations. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

This story is a powerful reminder that our healing comes from facing the uncomfortable emotions and beliefs we carry, even when they feel overwhelming. It’s through sitting with our pain and giving it space that we find freedom and peace.Download my free Shadow Work and Inner Child Guide to get a printable worksheet that you can use again and again!Upcoming Events for Codependency Alchemy👉🏾 GET 10% OFF ON MEMBERSHIPAs a Codependency Alchemy member, you have access to a library of resources aimed at helping you bring deeper awareness to the root of your codependency tendencies. Members looking to get the most out of their membership and wanting to start making profound shifts in their life can access masterclasses, meetups, private podcast episodes, and guided meditations. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

I’m excited to share a personal story today—one that has layers beyond what it seems. You’re definitely going to want to grab a drink, get comfortable, and enjoy. We're talking about boundaries, cookies, and the uncomfy parts of learning our own dysfunction through our relationship dynamics.Only 5 days left to get HTMW Workbook for 50% off!Download my free Shadow Work and Inner Child Guide to get a printable worksheet that you can use again and again!Upcoming Events for Codependency Alchemy👉🏾 GET 10% OFF ON MEMBERSHIPAs a Codependency Alchemy member, you have access to a library of resources aimed at helping you bring deeper awareness to the root of your codependency tendencies. Members looking to get the most out of their membership and wanting to start making profound shifts in their life can access masterclasses, meetups, private podcast episodes, and guided meditations.Monthly Masterclass | September 5th | 10am (PDT) | Click here to RSVP on Zoom 💻Monthly Meetup | September 12th | 10am (PDT) | Click here to RSVP on Zoom 💻AMA Chat | September 19th | 10am-12pm (PDT) | Click here to RSVP for Chat 📱Shadow Work Sunday | Every Sunday | Thread on Substack🧵Let's connect! Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, and you can even subscribe and watch the full episodes on YouTube! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

This week I get to sit down with a member from our Codependency Alchemy membership, Nicole, who is exploring the challenges of parenting while navigating her own inner healing journey. In this session I guide Nicole through shadow work and an inner child healing, validate her unmet needs, and help release the burdens of feeling "broken" and "not good enough."This conversation offers a roadmap for intergenerational healing and the courage to show up authentically, even in the midst of our own imperfections.Grab Healing the Mother Wound Workbook for less than $10 using promo code "ANNIVERSARY"!Buy a copy of "Healing the Mother Wound: With Mother Earth"Buy your copy on AmazonDownload my free Shadow Work and Inner Child Guide to get a printable worksheet that you can use again and again!Upcoming Events for Codependency Alchemy👉🏾 GET 10% OFF ON MEMBERSHIPAs a Codependency Alchemy member, you have access to a library of resources aimed at helping you bring deeper awareness to the root of your codependency tendencies. Members looking to get the most out of their membership and wanting to start making profound shifts in their life can access masterclasses, meetups, private podcast episodes, and guided meditations.Let's connect! Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, and you can even subscribe and watch the full episodes on YouTube! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, I take you back to 2018, when my relationship was taken over by darkness. My partner Justin was battling depression, and I was trapped in a cycle of trying to "fix" him, making his pain and discomfort my responsibility. It led us to a breaking point, where we both felt unseen and alone.Download my free Shadow Work and Inner Child Guide to get a printable worksheet that you can use again and again!Upcoming Events for Codependency Alchemy👉🏾 GET 10% OFF ON MEMBERSHIPAs a Codependency Alchemy member, you have access to a library of resources aimed at helping you bring deeper awareness to the root of your codependency tendencies. Members looking to get the most out of their membership and wanting to start making profound shifts in their life can access masterclasses, meetups, private podcast episodes, and guided meditations.Monthly Masterclass | September 5th | 10am (PDT) | Click here to RSVP on Zoom 💻Monthly Meetup | September 12th | 10am (PDT) | Click here to RSVP on Zoom 💻AMA Chat | September 19th | 10am-12pm (PDT) | Click here to RSVP for Chat 📱Shadow Work Sunday | Every Sunday | Thread on Substack🧵Let's connect! Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, and you can even subscribe and watch the full episodes on YouTube! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

On today's episode, I sit down with KaRonna, a working mom struggling with something I think many of us can relate to— the inability to prioritize herself and her own needs amidst the demands of career, parenthood, and life in general, fearing she'll make the wrong decision.Download my free Shadow Work and Inner Child Guide to get a printable worksheet that you can use again and again!Upcoming Events for Codependency Alchemy👉🏾 GET 10% OFF ON MEMBERSHIPAs a Codependency Alchemy member, you have access to a library of resources aimed at helping you bring deeper awareness to the root of your codependency tendencies. Members looking to get the most out of their membership and wanting to start making profound shifts in their life can access masterclasses, meetups, private podcast episodes, and guided meditations.Monthly Masterclass | September 5th | 10am (PDT) | Click here to RSVP on Zoom 💻Monthly Meetup | September 12th | 10am (PDT) | Click here to RSVP on Zoom 💻AMA Chat | September 19th | 10am-12pm (PDT) | Click here to RSVP for Chat 📱Shadow Work Sunday | Every Sunday | Thread on Substack🧵Let's connect! Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, and you can even subscribe and watch the full episodes on YouTube! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

In this raw and vulnerable episode (my first time actually crying on the podcast), I open up about my recent experience with depression and feeling discomfort with slowness and spaciousness in my life, which was triggering fears around losing my sense of purpose and self-worth if I'm "not doing anything.”Download my free Shadow Work and Inner Child Guide to get a printable worksheet that you can use again and again!Upcoming Events for Codependency Alchemy👉🏾 GET 10% OFF ON MEMBERSHIPAs a Codependency Alchemy member, you have access to a library of resources aimed at helping you bring deeper awareness to the root of your codependency tendencies. Members looking to get the most out of their membership and wanting to start making profound shifts in their life can access masterclasses, meetups, private podcast episodes, and guided meditations.Monthly Masterclass | September 5th | 10am (PDT) | Click here to RSVP on Zoom 💻Monthly Meetup | September 12th | 10am (PDT) | Click here to RSVP on Zoom 💻AMA Chat | September 19th | 10am-12pm (PDT) | Click here to RSVP for Chat 📱Shadow Work Sunday | Every Sunday | Thread on Substack🧵Let's connect! Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, and you can even subscribe and watch the full episodes on YouTube! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe