Countdown with Keith Olbermann

SERIES 3 EPISODE 46: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: I think Vladimir Putin just sent Trump two not-very-carefully coded messages and to borrow the stylings of Vice President Harris, one began with the letter F and the other began with the letter U. Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov – as I assume you know – has confirmed to Bloomberg that Bob Woodward’s book is RIGHT, that Trump DID send tests and testing machines early in the Covid nightmare of 2020, but, quoting Peskov, “but about the phone calls – it’s not true.” Putin just outed Trump as a liar. Twice. In different directions. Confirming what he wanted denied; denying what he wanted confirmed. NOT BAD FOR 81 DAYS: Kamala Harris has raised a billion dollars since becoming the presidential candidate. That's more than Trump has raised in ALL of 2024. Harris’s figure is just since the afternoon of July 21. New polling: Republicans and Independents who had supported Nikki Haley and Trump is only getting 45 percent of them and Kamala Harris is getting 36 percent. Lemmings gonna lemming, of course. But the interesting number here is that in the 2020 election these same voters had gone for Trump by 59 to 28. HOW DO YOU NOT LISTEN TO HISTORY? Even in an America in which Trump’s all-too-obvious affection for Hitler and the Nazis is exceeded by the psychoses of so many of his supporters, it would seem to be obvious that the last thing that even Pro-Nazi Trumpists would want to do would be to invoke February 20th, 1939 and the German-American Bund rally at Madison Square Garden in New York. It didn't go exactly as the Nazis planned. The Garden was surrounded by ONE HUNDRED thousand ANTI-Nazi protestors who three times nearly broke lines manned by 2500 police. As it was, the Nazi presence in New York received fatal damage when a former Navy officer, now plumber’s assistant named Isadore Greenbaum sneaked inside the Garden and able to contain his rage no longer, rushed the stage. The Nazis didn’t know what to do and after a few flailed punches at Greenbaum, a handful of police stopped all of them and pulled Greenbaum out. So what have Trump and reprobate garbage Garden/Knicks/Rangers owner James Dolan scheduled for October 27? A NEW Trump-Nazi rally at the new Madison Square Garden. Trump hopes 20,000 will attend. Has he or this idiot Dolan considered how many people will be outside the Garden THIS time? B-Block (22:32) IN SPORTS: My first boss Sam Rosen was just named the winner of the Lester Patrick Award for service to hockey in this country (he had already been made a saint for having survived BEING my first boss) (26:29) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Maria Bartiromo is thrown when a Republican congressman accidentally tells the truth about FEMA. Marco Rubio wants you to believe the urgency of what the government is telling you. Just today, mind you. Not last week. And Jesse Watters calls Trump nihilist Stephen Miller a "sexual matador" and Miller explains that to attract women, men "should wear their Trump support on their sleeve." You mean like an armband? C-Block (37:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: We take a break from news of my ex Kyrsten Sinema or my ex Laura Ingraham or my ex Olivia Nuzzi to discuss my ex Katy Tur, whose husband is in the news. He's Tony Dokoupil and I can't tell if CBS News is about to fire him or make him Chief Operating Officer. The sad saga of how my post-relationship friendship with her ended when he arrived.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 45: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: It is safe to extrapolate that Donald Trump killed at least one American in order to instead send the Covid testing machine that might have saved them to Vladimir Putin. Bob Woodward’s book says Trump "secretly sent Putin what were then rare Abbott Point of Care test MACHINES for the Russian’s personal use.” From the supply meant for American citizens then faced with a rapidly-spreading virus for which there was no vaccine, no cure, and next to no treatment. To save Putin and his fellow scumbags, even if it killed Americans. May Donald Trump burn in hell – and the sooner the better. We know with certainty that Trump stole American testing machines from American hospitals and other crisis health facilities to give to Russia’s dictator between March 31st 2020 and May 7th 2020. The earlier date is when Abbott says was “we began distributing our rapid point-of-care Covid-19 tests for our ID NOW system.” On May 7th officials in Russia and Russia’s branch office at the Trump White House said “some (Covid) testing equipment as well as ventilators” had been sent to Russia. March 31st. That was the day Doctors Fauci and Birx tried to warn the country that the best case scenario was between 100 thousand and 240 thousand American dead. By April 10th there were more than 18 thousand Americans dead and more than half a million cases – 160,00 of them here in New York state. Our outside date on this window of infamy is May 7, by which point there were 72-thousand dead. 10-thousand more Americans would die in the next week… the latest possible date that someone could not get a test because Trump prioritized Putin’s life over yours. AS TO THE OTHER BIG WOODWARD HEADLINE: We know Trump is STILL Putin’s asset. Woodward quotes an unidentified Trump aide as saying the two creatures have spoken at least seven times since Trump was exiled from Washington. “In early 2024,” the Washington Post writes, “the former president ordered an aide away from his office at Mar-a-Lago… so he could conduct a private phone call with Russian leader." It got lost at the time, but at the debate against Biden in June, Trump confirmed that he talked to Putin between our exit from Afghanistan (August 2021) and Putin's invasion of Ukraine (February 2022). He has been in contact with an enemy dictator. Were Trump an FBI or CIA agent with such contacts he and his lawyers could at this moment be negotiating a plea deal so he could avoid the death penalty. B-Block (24:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Who's the worst person to speak to the future of legacy news media at The New York Press Club? No - none of my ex-girlfriends. Guess again. Joe Kernen is big mad at me, at Andrew Ross Sorkin, at Frank Luntz, at his own ferret toupees. And news chiefs Cesar Conde and Rebecca Blumenstein at NBC - Nothing But Cowards - now move into Catch-and-Kill mode, burying a movie critical of Trump until AFTER the election. C-Block (33:15) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Of all the politicians I've met since I first went into the field in 1997 one stands head and shoulders above the others in terms of the ability to take a joke at his own expense. I thought I'd heard him at the high point of his self-deprecation. Then, last week, he topped himself, making such a joke HIMSELF.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 44: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: We are now at the eugenics stage of Trump morphing into Hitler. We are now at the they-murder-white-people-because-it’s-in-their-genes stage. I’m not exaggerating and I am just barely paraphrasing. Trump has now moved one step closer to eugenics, to classifying entire races and nationalities as genetically criminal, to fully embracing the nightmare insanity of Adolf Hitler, to ethnic cleansing and persecution of immigrants because he thinks they WILL commit murder. As Politico described it, a “blood libel,” in an interview with the conservative bobble-head doll of commentators, Hugh Hewitt. Trump quoted his fabricated number of 13,000 murderers migrating across the border, insisting murder is in "the genes" and "we got a lot of bad genes in our country right now.” Later with Laura Ingraham Trump didn’t get quite as literal about eugenics but he did say quote “I will keep you safe. I’m not going to allow prisoners to come out from Venezuela… the Congo… the Middle East… Yemen. I’m going to keep you safe. I’m not going to let them help you.” I don’t know how much more he has to tell this country before even the coalition of the stupid and the hateful realize that sooner rather than later, a Trump returned to power will attempt to STAY in power beyond his expiration date, by killing somebody they LIKE. Even a tech bro. Or an Aryan with not enough Aryan blood. Or Nick Fuentes because, oops, Fuentes is the same name as some of them immigrants. Or JD Vance because Trump has a really bad loyalty record with Vice Presidents. ALSO: If Republicans keep insisting Democrats are controlling the weather doesn't that imply that Trump was unable to? Musk is now bribing people $47 to sign up for his Trump PAC. He's going to campaign for Trump in Pennsylvania (his favorability is worse than Vance's). And an explanation from Nate Silver as to what kind of Popular Vote victory translates into what kind of Electoral College victory. B-Block (26:30) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Anybody remember the JD Vance/Trump/GOP lie about Haitian immigrants killing and eating geese and pets in Springfield, Ohio? They've convicted the geese guy. His name is Brian and he ain't from Haiti. Jake Tapper opens himself up to fact-checking, or the lack thereof. And the hockey writer who dilutes the Johnny Gaudreau tragedy for a cute line in a season preview. C-Block (34:30) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Howard Stern interviewing Vice President Kamala Harris? I wonder if they'll bring up what they were both doing half a century ago today. Because the odds are pretty good that half a century ago today, Howard was...meeting me. And if the anniversary isn't today, it's dang soon.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 43: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: It is time to cancel or suspend all of Elon Musk’s government contracts and subsidies. SpaceX, NASA, StarLink, Teslas, all of it. Musk and Trump are interfering in FEMA recovery efforts post-Hurricane Helene by spreading life-threatening disinformation, and are coordinating a political campaign with Trump which at its heart Trump advocates for the overthrow of the duly-elected government of the United States of America – by violence if necessary. And if all of that is insufficient to re-investigate and/or change his immigration status here in order to deport him back to South Africa or Canada, if it is insufficient to take ALL of his money from him, it is NOT insufficient to tie him up in court cases for the rest of his life. He's also immorally transforming the Twitter-X platform he owns into a massive donation-in-kind to Trump’s campaign of lies, antisemitism, Islamophobia, misogyny, hatred, and fascism. A donation-in-kind which the government should value at 44 billion, not the current number Musk has driven it down to which I haven’t actually checked lately but is probably down to about 50, 60 bucks. Oh and President Biden? The Starlink equipment and the network behind it and the rockets and the satellite access and the actual platform hosting X or what’s left of it? Seize it. If he wants it back, let him go to court. If he tries to shut it off, arrest him for tampering with evidence in a criminal case. Remember: Presidential immuuuuuuuuuuuunity! By the way his buddy Trump? Trump doesn’t know what Starlink is. TRUMP IS SO GONE EVEN THE NEW YORK TIMES NOTICED: "Trump’s Speeches, Increasingly Angry and Rambling, Reignite the Question of Age." They gingerly refer to computer analyses and the uncertainties of others, but given the number of other news outlets that think the Times is infallible, this could open a floodgate of coverage. NOT THAT EVERYBODY GETS IT: Andrea Mitchell stopped herself midway through finishing the word "miscegenation" while whining about Vice President Harris not doing enough interviews. Politico thinks 60 Minutes, an Univision Town Hall, Howard Stern, and especially the "Call Her Daddy" podcast aren't real interviews. It also implied Harris shouldn't be appearing on a podcast that has included sexual content. That's pretty funny given that the editor of Politico Playbook - once fired by The New Yorker over sexual misconduct, is now on leave, accused of trying to blackmail his fiancee into more sex and when she refused, hacking her phone and leaking her sex life. So Politico, does "Call Her Daddy" have too MUCH sex, or just not as much as "Politico Playbook"? B-Block (26:16) SPECIAL COMMENT NUMBER 2: Did "working the refs" work with The New York Times? Did all our complaining finally pierce the walls of the paper? Let me tell you a story from my past in which years of complaining to the Los Angeles Times not only got my complaint listened to, but corrected - and with the admission that the editor in charge never read anything written by the guy I was complaining about. C-Block (43:40) GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 42: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Go and look for Jack Smith’s evidence against Trump on the front pages of America’s newspapers and the top of America’s newscasts. Go and look for the stories about the evidence he produced that there were not TWO coup attempts by Trump and his whores on January 6th, but three. Go. I'll wait. Not even 48 hours since the most damning document ever composed about an American president, makes the Watergate testimony look like the comedian’s script at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and it’s already virtually disappeared from our American media because whether its leaders know it or not American media is not just in the tank for Trump but its leaders have already drowned there and there are only a few journalists left. But her emails. ALSO: Trump bleating about "Election Interference" and an "ironclad" DOJ rule that doesn't even exist, in any way shape or form. Trump insisting that the delays he caused make him the proverbial guy who wants to be treated as an orphan even though he killed his parents. Trump uttering a sound like "Wally." Mike Lawler in blackface, saying it doesn't count because he was simply pretending to be Michael Jackson. And the greatest story of the day: Melania Trump's publisher demanding $250,000 from CNN for an interview about her book (I mean, consider what kind of discount that represents!) B-Block (22:41) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Conservative commentator Kurt Schlichter insists the Democrats have never "excepted" a presidential loss. Because he's a moron. Congressman Tim Burchett does an antisemitism against George Soros. And Chris Cillizza quite seriously reveals something he has just calculated: that the election will be decided based on WHO GETS MORE VOTES IN THE BATTLEGROUND STATES! (Chris is a genius). C-Block (32:57) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: In an all-new episode, a story I haven't read you before, that rarest of Thurbers in which he is not the hero nor the lovable loser but the guy who has to leave town in embarrassment: the Zeph Leggin story: A Friend Of The Earth.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 41: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: “Make them riot,” a man described by Jack Smith as a Trump campaign employee, agent, and co-conspirator, his identity redacted, replaced by the ID number “P-5,” informs a colleague on the ground at the vote counting on Election Night 2020 in Detroit. “Do it!!!" Trump Campaign knowledge that they had lost the election on November 4, 2020. Certainty from his campaign team that without vote triumphs and court orders, it was over on November 7. Withdrawal of the campaign's litigation in Arizona on November 13. 165 pages of this in Jack Smith's filing revealed by Judge Tonya Chutkan yesterday, all of it supporting what I suggested last week would be his core point: that everything Trump did after mid-November at the latest was in his private capacity of candidate, politician, fraud, traitor - and none of it was him just being a good president working his ass off to investigate a dubious election.  In a just world it would put Trump in jail until he dies there. WE only have a chance at a just world if Trump loses November 5. SPEAKING OF WHICH: Did JD Vance reveal a side hustle in the VP debate? Is he potentially running a coup against Trump? Did he play nice so it'll be Vance who takes over the Trump cult if Trump is beaten, takes it over if Trump really meant what he said about not running again if he loses, takes it over by force even if Trump DIDN’T mean it. And if Trump wins, do you think Vance would hesitate to lead a palace revolt? To invoke the 25th Amendment the moment Trump starts speaking in tongues or falls over during a speech? THE POLLING IS BIZARRE: the debate was a tie but Tim Walz won all the internal numbers from who was more prepared to be president to who got the favorability bump. Vance got above water, but in one poll Walz is now +25 and in another +37. In short, he is now the most popular national politician in the country. B-Block (29:15) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: On the second day of the  Playoff Telecasts, Baseball is surprised in court: the company that carries eight of its teams' games suddenly cancels the telecasts. Fox's David Asman confuses author Mark Helprin for pantsless ex-pundit Mark Halperin. And Chris Cuomo is so desperate to stay on television that he sides with JD Vance's lies and against journalism at the VP debate. C-Block (43:10) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I swear somebody mentioned to me yesterday that she used to go skiing with his family. And I saw the woman involved in the story on TV over the weekend. On the SAME day, I knew the first guy - the head of CurrentTV - was going to end my TV news career, and that Uma Thurman and I would NOT be going out on a date!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 40: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:46) SPECIAL COMMENT: JD Vance blew an otherwise substantial debate with one remark that will echo through the history of presidential campaigns the way the spoofing of Gerald Ford in 1976 by Chevy Chase did ("It was my understanding there would be no math.") Fact-checked once and only once by moderators Norah O'Donnell and Margaret Brennan about the fact that the immigrants of Springfield, Ohio, are there legally, Vance seemingly summarized the entire premise of Trumpism - deceit and using it to hamstring a cowering media. He was terrified of fact-checking, enraged by fact-checking, and finally had his mike cut because he was angry and tried to dress down the moderators by saying: "The rules were you guys weren't gonna fact check." Vance did a surprisingly smooth if not always effective job of sane-washing Trump but he could have won a debate in which Tim Walz was so nervous at the beginning that I had a brief spell of 1st Debate PTSD. But Vance ultimately had only one product to sell - Trump - and only so much lipstick to put on it, or eyeliner to put on himself. As Walz regained himself, he was practical, eloquent, and managed to pull quotes out of the Bible and the Hardware Store ("my pro-tip for today is...") He warned Trump talking about crowd sizes was not what the country would need right now in the Middle East crisis (Vance barely answered; he chose instead to introduce himself; it was a tactical disaster). And he gave the top two answers of the night, insisting that Mike Pence's decision to be a "firewall" against Trump on January 6th was why Pence "isn't on this stage tonight" and then a moving, personal story about gun violence and its myriad causes that ended with "Sometimes, it's just the guns. It's just the guns." IS IT BAD THAT KELLYANNE CONWAY THINKS HER VP CANDIDATE IS NAMED “JD WALTZ?” Is she mistaking Vance for Walz? Vance for actor J.D. Walsh? The late actor J.T. Walsh? Maybe for The Last Waltz? MEANWHILE, TRUMP SEEMS TO ACCUSE KAMALA OF MURDER EXCEPT HE SCREWS UP THE PRONOUNS: He says she might as well have held a gun in a murder case. Except he says Harris let HER in and murdered HIM. He’s also continuing to take credit for “being first” on the scene in the post-Helene chaos even though nobody wanted him there and all he did was start a GoFundMe, take credit for money that other people gave – and he didn’t. AND IN NUZZI NUDES NEWS: NUZZI DOOZY – COURT GETS UP IN LIZZA’S BIZZA – OVER RFK RIZZ(a). CNN reports that the latest in the RFK Junior/Olivia Nuzzi story is: she has sued, and in the filing, says that the source of the leaks that got her suspended by New York Magazine for an undisclosed personal relationship with the perviest of the Kennedys was her former fiancee Ryan Lizza of Politico. When Olivia and I lived together and she still worked for The Daily Beast she frequently traveled to DCC on stories and whenever come back she’d give me a big hug and say she was sorry she took me for granted because there was the creepy guy who stalked her every time she went to Washington. ‘Do you know him,’ she’d ask? ‘His name is Lizza.’ Gotta run. Gotta check I have enough popcorn B-Block (25:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The WNBA players association and executive director Terry Carmichael Jackson has attacked one of the reporters who might be on the Mount Rushmore of Women’s Sports in this country, Christine Brennan. And over nothing. They’ve slandered her and tried to get her fired. We need to boycott the WNBA until there is an apology and the executive director is fired. There’s Elon Musk, who has decided that a barely intelligible video by somebody who’s never heard of Roe-V-Wade “proves” Trump cares more about women. And then there’s Rob Schneider, who decided to turn the heartbreaking loss of 58-year old hoops immortal Dikembe Mutumbo to brain cancer into an anti-vax point. Maybe he meant it like a joke, since none of his jokes have ever been funny. C-Block (36:15) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I spent years arguing against Pete Rose being admitted to baseball’s Hall of Fame. Then I campaigned IN FAVOR of putting him in baseball’s Hall of Fame. And then in 2017 the OTHER thing happened and that’s when I started campaigning again for NEVER putting him in baseball’s Hall of Fame. And all Monday night and all day yesterday, otherwise intelligent people explained that Pete Rose will go into the Hall of Fame because it was a lifetime ban and no – they put him on the “permanently ineligible list.” His life is over; his place on the list is not. And everybody has FORGOTTEN what the other thing was in 2017 - in the middle of his comeback, when he had gotten far along enough in his comeback that he was a regular on the Fox Baseball pre-game show I used to anchor – Pete Rose sued the investigator whose work led to his banishment from baseball in 1989 and in the discovery up popped a sworn deposition from a woman who, to quote The Hollywood Reporter, “alleges that Rose had a relationship with her for several years, beginning before she turned 16… Rose acknowledged in court documents that he had sex with the woman but thought she was 16 at the time.” When you admit to sex with a child and your defense was I thought she was 16, you’re done. THAT’S why he’s not in the Hall of Fame – and won’t be.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 39: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:48) SPECIAL COMMENT: CBS must either agree to fact-check the Vice Presidential candidates in tonight's debate, or cancel it. Its entire history and reputation is at stake and so is much of the chance of saving the democracy, even for the amoral cowards like CBS ownership. But of course CBS won't cancel the debate: they've already spent more than $100 on it. So, to Plan B: Tim Walz must politely acknowledge the first question, ignore it, and take the debate over. Immediately tell the television audience that J.D. Vance is a compulsive and pathological liar. Tell them that he is Trump’s deputy liar. Tell them as forcefully and as non-Midwesternly as possible, that this man is personally and indelibly responsible for death threats against white, Republican, small businessmen in Springfield Ohio because it is he, J.D. Vance, who personally and completely fabricated the Haitian immigrant story. Tell them about Jamie McGregor of McGregor Metal, Trump voter. Tell them that all Jamie McGregor did was say that his thirty Haitian-born employees “come to work every day, they don’t cause drama, they’re on time” and within hours the death threats started. Tell them that Jamie McGregor got so many death threats that they had to have a lockdown at his factory. Tell them that there are MAGA posters around town calling him, a MAGA guy, a traitor. Tell them that Jamie McGregor had vowed to never have guns in his house and now the family is taking firearms training and he just bought a Glock and it’s for his daughter - his 14-YEAR OLD daughter. Tell them, Tim, that MAGA isn’t just a threat to immigrants or people of color or Democrats. Tell them, that MAGA is a threat to the people IN MAGA because MAGA isn’t about making ANYTHING great – it’s about hatred and violence and cruelty. Tell them that Jamie McGregor’s wife said “we’re being hunted like animals.” TELL THEM that the latest person to be threatened with death is Jamie McGregor’s 80-year old mother. And TELL THEM that this is all – all of it – the fault of, the personal responsibility of, the creation of, the goal of, this scumbag J.D. Vance. Point at him and tell him to get down on his knees and pray to his creator for forgiveness because he isn’t getting any from Jamie McGregor or America. Put him on the floor in a pool of his own urine, and then metaphorically… gut him like a fish. B-Block (24:22) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Hey, Derrick Anderson, Republican nominee for Congress from the Virginia 7th, In your campaign photos! Great looking wife and kids! Whose are they? Annie Linskey, the same reporter who mocked Biden going to the family graveyard, now creates a new fascist talking point by falsely accusing Biden of being "testy" with a fool reporter Biden didn't suffer gladly. And it's the anniversary of the most patriotic idea John Roberts ever had and the one he never acted on. C-Block (37:10) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Hours before the death of Pete Rose, Baseball had one of its greatest meaningful games in history yesterday. 3-0 Braves in the 8th, ends 8-7 Mets and they go to the playoffs where they only need to win...eleven more games to win the World Series? We are destroying a sport to create a 90-second highlight package. It flashed me back to when the long season sent teams almost directly to the ultimate sporting event: the Mets and the 1969 World Series.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 38: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:50) SPECIAL COMMENT: I have existential doubts about hell. But truly, I now hope there is one and I hope if there isn't one I hope they make one, just for Trump. He did it Saturday in Wisconsin and then just in case you missed it he did it again yesterday in Pennsylvania and guess what? America’s news media - when it is has never been more urgently needed, failing, collapsing, cowardly protecting only its own money - America’s news media, in its death rattle before Trump extinguishes it, or with its own near-complete lack of courage, it extinguishes itself Trump did it again yesterday in Pennsylvania and the media MISSED IT. This psychopathic, criminally insane narcissist; this damaged, malignant, diseased, dysfunctional, hallucinatory, drooling, demented, reptile-brained, and ultimately and perhaps most importantly, this STUPID slime slandered the mental capacities of the President and Vice President of the United States. And how was that covered by our bleeding, bankrupt, almost dying news media? Like they hoped to be covering Trump in hell. Bloomberg said Trump "sharpened his criticism on border security." The Guardian called these "Harris barbs." Reuters said Trump "escalates harsh rhetoric." On and on and on. I cannot say this more clearly to the political journalists of this nation. The English language is full of… words. Words that actually DESCRIBE what JD Vance once aptly called Trump peddling quote “cultural heroin.” Words that MEASURE his deceit. Words that QUANTIFY his inhumanity. Words that will NOT get you fired and words that will not get your cowering bosses sued. Learn them. Use them. Because if you don’t, you will die with me in the Trump camps. ALL of the bleak histories of the dictators of this world include that same chapter. If you cannot summon courage on behalf of your nation or your profession, summon it on behalf of saving yourselves. AND NOW WE MOVE TO CBS NEWS which says no, it will not fact-check the candidates at its Vice Presidential debate tomorrow. Even as Vance devolves into a compulsive or perhaps congenital liar. I have a piece of advice for my old MSNBC colleague and professional friend of 25 years, Co-Moderator Norah O'Donnell. You have nothing to lose and a country to save. Ignore your bosses. Fact-check anyway. Emulate Edward R. Murrow - not Jake F'ing Tapper. B-Block (26:18) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: I think I have some insight into the RFK Junior story that everybody else understandably missed. There has been a throwaway line in one account that refers to the contemplation of a "medical leave" for Olivia Nuzzi. I think that's the key to everything. But more importantly, I can finally explain my gratitude to her, and celebrate the great thing she did for me: (34:34) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Because it's Stevie Day - the anniversary of the day I got my first dog, Stevie (more correctly - the day she adopted me). And finally, FINALLY, I can tell the story without pulling any punches because of course the girlfriend who led me into the world of dogs - Stevie's Mom - is Olivia. C-Block (54:00) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS, PART II: The saga of the arrival of Stevie rather improbably includes... Rudy Giuliani? And the small matter of the remodeling of my mind and life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 37: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: I am only reading tea leaves here but Trump's panicked post yesterday about how HE did everything right on January 6th but the "deep state" let him down, followed by his afternoon lie about how Nancy Pelosi ignored his offers of troops MAY imply that he's gotten some sense of the evidentiary brief Jack Smith filed to Judge Chutkan before yesterday's deadline. I'm guessing that Smith is going to try to start by proving that long before January 6th Trump knew damn well that he had lost the election and thus no act he took to get a recount or challenge it was an "official act" and thus immune but simply a personal one for which he'll have to face charges. Smith's filing remains under seal. MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH: So New York Mayor Eric Adams allegedly sold himself to Turkey's dictator for only about $17,000 a year? Adams is a messianic idiot and his "I'm not resigning" press conference began with him being shouted down by a critic with a bullhorn, and his defense seems to have been damaged by his niece telling everybody to stop criticizing the Mayor because Jesus put him there. AND LIKE I SAID: They published the "Iran Trump Hack" yesterday and it wasn't a big deal but the newspapers all made a big show over martyring themselves for supposed journalistic principles when in fact they weren't even sacrificing one good story. ALSO: Brian Ray has done a new version of the theme! We'll premiere it Monday but there's a quick tease here, just for you. B-Block (28:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: NYC Mayor doubleheader! Adams indicted, Giuliani disbarred. Media management suck up Dylan Byers accuses me of "rushing" to reveal something I actually stayed quiet about for more than a decade. And Clay Higgins managed to both try to walk back his racist, stochastic terror comments about Haitians AND double down on them at the same time! C-Block (35:13) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: Muggs isn't the sweetest dog Thurber ever wrote about. But he may be the most memorable: "The Dog That Bit People."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 36: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: White Trash Congressman Clay Higgins (R-Louisiana) has now targeted stochastic terrorism against the legal Haitian migrants in Ohio and elsewhere: "Lol. These Haitians are wild. Eating pets, vudu, nastiest country in the western hemisphere, cults, slapstick gangsters, but damned if they don’t feel all sophisticated now, filing charges against our President and VP. All these thugs better get their mind right and their ass out of our country before January 20th." His enabler, Speaker Mike Johnson, has blocked efforts to censure Higgins - the idiot who believes "Ghost Buses" transported somebody to January 6th - and insisted that Higgins prayed over his tweet and then deleted it. This raises the question obvious to everybody but the world's smallest politician: Why didn't Higgins pray BEFORE he virtually dropped the N-word on a bunch of legal residents in Ohio? If at any point between now and the election you stop being angry that Donald Trump and his fellow peddler of cultural heroin JD Vance have let creatures like Clay Higgins crawl out of the woodwork, suck it up. The election of November 5th is as existential for this nation as was the Civil War – and many of the issues are identical. And the results must be. TRUMP ALSO AGAIN ADMITS HE LOST "BY A WHISKER" IN 2020. He apparently forgot he previously used the same analogy, then denied it and said he was being sarcastic, and has now said it again. He also says Iran is trying to kill him because he's trying to restore the furniture industry in North Carolina and "they only kill consequential presidents." This psychopath is PRE-BRAGGING ON HIS OWN POSSIBLE ASSASSINATION. There's extraordinary news out of polling for the Senate race in Nebraska and it IS Jack Smith day and there was a blooper on Fox yesterday so grotesque as to be hilarious. B-Block (20:11) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: A brief Nuzzi update featuring my ex-girlfriend’s ex-fiancee’s because of my ex-friend’s sexts’ ex-wife. The medalists? Sheriff Bruce Zuchowski threatens Harris voters in Ohio. Jamie Dimon spits on all immigrants, like the grave of his immigrant grandfather. And Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema are too stupid to understand that the Republicans will ban abortion whether the Democrats get rid of the filibuster or not. C-Block (28:40) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: 20 years ago Nicolle Wallace was one of the Bush White House thugs trying to kill MSNBC, the Democrats, me - and especially the man who caught Bush lying about Saddam and uranium, Ambassador Joe Wilson. The Bushes were convinced I was on their side in the story, so they kept emailing me talking points, But because Nicolle and the others were too lazy to look up the correct spelling of my name, I never got the emails directly - only forwarded from the people within NBC whom the Bushies knew would carry their water for them.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 35: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) I wish these were metaphors. In his latest fugue-state multi-hour you-know-how-old-he-is-he's-206 campaign speech at Savannah, Trump first literally drooled on himself in the middle of a sibilant "S" and a scant 45 minutes later revealed that he just found out that Russia beat Napoleon AND Hitler and suddenly he's the director in "The Producers" who says "I never knew the Third Reich meant Germany! I mean the play is drenched with historical goodies like that!” CNN's coverage of this latest evidence that Trump's cheese has slid off his Ritz Cracker? “Trump focuses on economy at stop in battleground Georgia.” The term is sane-washing. If Biden had done this the replays would still be running on a loop on CNN. And this doesn't even get to his insanity on issues of substance: the stalker language towards women. The first oblique promise to jail people who criticize the Supreme Court. The continued insistence he will send the legal migrants in Ohio who are from Haiti "back" to Venezuela because he evidently thinks that's where Haiti IS. The stuff about the courts will re-surge in the next two days because Judge Tanya Chutkan has ruled Jack Smith can submit the phone book as his preliminary briefing in his revised Insurrection Case against Trump. 180 pages, probably, filled with evidence. Chutkan smacked Trump's lawyers around, too. Stand by for fun. There's been more hacking of Trump campaign stuff and it won't be published either but the recipient at least characterizes it. The auteur of Project 2025 reportedly told colleagues he killed a dog with a shovel because he barked too loudly. And just for laughs, what the Prime Minister of the U.K. meant to say was "return of the HOSTAGES" but he must have been hungry. B-Block (28:58) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: CNN's Abby Phillip is the Maggie Haberman of Chuck Todds. She beat up Harris for not going to the border. She is now beating up Harris FOR going to the border. Hers is the lowest rated prime time show in cable news and this podcast is approaching audience comparisons with it. Mike Lindell just dropped his pillow price and just accidentally picked a number that attracts Hitler Stans. And there are some Nuzzi updates: Ben Smith of Semafor says journalists SHOULD sleep with their sources. And even better, the New York Post has printed the funniest thing I've ever seen and I'm only going to reveal it reads "SHE ALSO DATED OLBERMANN." C-Block (46:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: In the recent spirit of confession, I will reveal that 46 years ago while Sports Director and Vice President of Cornell's student-owned radio station I went on the air and lied and said that a local semi-pro hockey team had suddenly gone out of business. But I had damn good reasons and it turned out I was actually just off on my timing - they would, 16 months later. The saga of The Ithaca Stars.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 34: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) Yeah, the Nuzzi Nudes News Network stuff is included. But the ACTUAL lead story is: There are heroes among us and even in politics and even in the Republican Party and no, their motives do not have to be absolutely pure, they don’t even have to be a little bit pure and such a man is Republican State Senator Mike McDonnell of Nebraska, and what he has now done, quoting a proponent “kind of closes the casket… kind of closes the lid” on the Trump bid to reshape the Electoral College just six weeks before the election by changing how Nebraska CASTS its five electoral votes from a split-them-by-district method that will probably give Kamala Harris ONE electoral vote and Trump FOUR, to winner take all which would give him all FIVE. He has killed it. He won't vote for it. "It is clear to me that right now, 43 days from Election Day, is not the moment to make this change.” And in things I promised not to tell and boy is THAT true this time. When the RFK Junior/Olivia Nuzzi relationship story broke, I thought, oh here we go. Eventually and inevitably this story will get around to me because long ago she and I lived together. We had dogs and tattoos and rings. And when this story broke I decided: if nobody asks, I’m not volunteering this. It’s difficult to be even the most marginal public figure and keep any part of your life private. And nobody knows that better now, than does Olivia. On the other hand, if I’m asked about this by the media, if somebody is going to write it, I’m not lying. I’m also not giving THEM the story. Especially not The New York Post, which called yesterday. I confirmed we dated and said I thought it was pretty general knowledge that we had dated but that nobody cared and that if they didn’t know this, well, to paraphrase Arthur Conan Doyle writing Sherlock Holmes’ lines for him: “I am not retained by the gossip columnists to supply their deficiencies.” In other words, I am not the Nuzzi Nudes News Network over here, giving away free stories! So I've put a few details in this podcast. And they are stunningly normal. Did she do anything right here journalistically? No. But the bottom line: Olivia is responsible for me being born again in dogs. She will always have my support if she needs it. B-Block (26:32) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: His career died seven years ago, but when a reporter asked him about the cause of death last week, Bill O'Reilly stormed out of the interview and threatened to sue her for, I dunno, telling the truth. The New York Times' newest bothsideist nonsense has taken a natural disaster bent, in which fascism sought by Trump has "erupted" along "fault lines." And the leading bothsidesist of the paper, Maggie Haberman, has helpfully revealed that there is a Left Wing Industry devoted to trying to tear her and her colleagues down. Which raises a vital question: WHERE IS MY MONEY, VAST LEFT WING INDUSTRY? C-Block (38:30) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Since O'Reilly's name has come up in this All-New edition, I actually answer the FAQ about Billo (and Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh). Do they believe the poison they sell or are they just pimps? I have some evidence suggesting the answer is they started one way and ended drinking their own poison.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 3 EPISODE 33: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN The good news? Trump says if he loses, he won't run again in 2028. The bad news? Trump lies about everything. Strong polling numbers nationally and in the swings including a 16-point surge in Vice President Harris's approval score, and polling on how popular Project 2025 is (it isn't, and it isn't by 57% to 4%). Huge fundraising numbers. Mark Robinson's entire campaign leadership team quit to save their own skin, so he tried to frame it as "staff changes" (yeah, the rest of the race, I'm changing from having a staff to not having one). The Robert F. Kennedy Junior/Olivia Nuzzi story first gets more hilarious by the moment (like the fireworks explosion scene in 'Naked Gun') and then Kennedy reverts to being the Eternal Scumbag with a proxy saying on the record that he hopes to sue Nuzzi and then make "criminal referrals" because that's how you deal with a problem the proxy describes as Kennedy being "chased by porn." You don't, you know, warn the person, then call her employers and tell them to make it stop.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 3 EPISODE 32: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: So the next North Carolina Poll will be, what, conducted by Morning Consult for NudeAfrica-dot-com? Nobody's surprised but everybody's shocked? Trump’s crazed choice for governor of North Carolina – and remember if he’s the nominee or presumptive nominee and you take him off, that’s a coup, Trump says so – said he was a black Nazi, supported reinstating slavery, loved transgender porn, loved a porn site called Nude Africa, and declared he was a perv. And then according to CNN there was the GROSS stuff. And almost nobody's surprised. This kind of behavior (run for office and threaten all the people who do the things you have secretly enjoyed for decades) is more common than it seems. There is a reasonably straightforward psychological explanation. I'll do my best to translate it. MEANWHILE: THE TEAMSTERS WON'T ENDORSE except a majority of the 1,300,000 Teamsters have already endorsed Kamala Harris via their local Teamster chapters. Curious. I wonder how much somebody like Trump would know about bribing a union boss. AND THE POLLS: Once again, The New York Times is the outlier - but even its poll is in line with two hugely important throughlines: the momentum is all on Harris's side, and she is ahead in Pennsylvania. Oh and it probably won't last but Colln Allred is ahead of Ted Cruz in Texas. B-BLOCK (27:28) THE BREAKING NEWS: At an anti-Antisemitism event at the American Israeli Council last night, Trump shortened the distance between him and Hitler still further. We already knew him as an antisemite who spread the trope that Jews were loyal first to Israel and then whatever country they were in. Now, he has blamed Jewish Americans - in advance - for his potential loss. It is staggering, and confirms every previous warning that the Hitler comparison is apt, and terrifying: "If I don’t win this election, and the Jewish people would really have a lot to do with that if that happens because at 40%, that means 60% of the people are voting for the enemy." C-BLOCK (34:43) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: His most famous story remains so famous that 85 years after it was published, the name of its hero remains in the dictionary as a verb: The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 31: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Quinnipiac Poll: Harris by five in Pennsylvania (include Stein and Oliver and it's SIX). Harris by five in Michigan. Harris 50-48 in the Fox News poll. I’m beginning to suspect the Trump is this-close to offering anybody in a swing state who votes for him, a nude photo of Melania. I mean that’s neither as gratuitous nor crazy as it sounds. I heard about the post on Twitter and I thought this was going to be a Sarah Cooper bit or the rebirth of Jib-Jab and then I clicked on it. She says: "Why do I stand proudly between my nude modeling work?" That’s where we are. Ex-prosecutor Vice President swapped in for the retiring President, versus insane proto-Nazi racist would-be-dictator adjudicated sex offender with the nude model first lady and her stepsons are both appearing with an Oklahoma religious crackpot who has called the Vice President a quote “lying whore” and their Dad’s campaign is about the scary illegal black people eating cats but the grotesque misogynist Russian-produced sexual memes are about the Vice President. THE WHOLE OHIO STORY about the cats and the migrants in Springfield, the WHOLE raison-d’etre of Jayvee Vance’s stochastic terrorism attack on the residents of his own STATE, has now been revealed as two LIES. The first was the woman who posted to Facebook about somebody’s friend’s neighbor’s aunt’s uncle’s condom salesman seeing somebody eat a cat. Vance’s campaign knew it wasn’t true – it called the Springfield city hall on September 9th – and was TOLD it wasn’t true. That didn’t stop Vance. The SECOND lie turns out to be by the woman in Springfield who told the police HER cat Miss Sassy had been taken and killed – that’s the story Vance keeps using as a fallback – oh there’s a police report! My constituents insist there IS a missing cat! The woman is named Anna Kilgore and guess what, the cat is alive. Sweet Sassy Molassey, the cat is alive. The Wall Street Journal did something that Trump and Vance and their fellow scumbags would never do – they fact-checked Vance. And Kilgore. And Miss Sassy. Who was discovered safe and sound in Kilgore's basement. But Vance is still out there lying. B-Block (19:36) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Maria Bartiromo explains that the director of Homeland Security is using P. Diddy to get the world to stop talking about Trump. The University of South Carolina lets its campus be used for an event assaulting the Vice President's sexuality. Chris Cuomo apologizes to Trump because...I have no idea. C-Block (29:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Oh like you don't have a story like this. I went past my first NYC apartment the other day. The one that somebody lit on fire. While I was inside. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 30: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: The debate bounce is here. And maybe it’s more than that. Kamala Harris may – repeat MAY – caveat MAY – warning even if so keep your foot on the gas…MAY be beginning pulling away from Trump in the polls. She's up by six in Morning Consult, got a six-point swing in Mark Penn's Harris poll.  According to the 538 Average of Polls, yesterday, for the first time since July 2021, her net favorability moved into positive territory: 46-point-6 percent approval to 46-point-5 percent disapproval. It’s about as NOT-a-landslide as you can get but it is an almost unprecedented turnaround. Vice President Harris, whose net approval is plus zero-point-one was on July 14th, -17. There's also the 538 poll average where she’s up by three and its electoral college model in which Harris wins 61 times out of 100… and the Economist Polling Average… which shows her up by four… and Nate Silver’s OK-Maybe-I-Did-Pull-This-Number-Out-Of-My-Ass model which he acknowledges went from last week giving Trump a two-thirds chance of winning to him saying to Axios that Harris is quote “moving up in the polls enough that the model is converging back toward 50/50 in the Electoral College.” JD VANCE IS A BLESSING - TO HARRIS: Insists Haitians are from "Haitia." Claims Robert F. Kennedy Junior was assassinated. Is doubling down on Springfield. May be dumber than Trump. And here's good news: the authorities are still investigating Trump's scandal at Arlington National Cemetery. B-Block (21:35) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Megyn Kelly takes time from her bid to beat Kari Lake in the effort to corner the market in camera filters, to F-bomb Taylor Swift. Turns out at least one of the anti-Ukraine memes Elon Musk tweeted was made by the Kremlin's favorite disinformation creator. And Bill Ackman is so mad about the debate he's referring it to...a top college sports league? C-Block (33:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I just re-told this story Monday in real life so I thought I'd bring it up again. 15 years ago this summer Bill O'Reilly sent Jesse Watters to stalk the chairman of GE because I was criticizing Billo and Fox. The chairman's mother called him up and yelled at him, and he of course responded as any true businessman would: he threaten to turn off MSNBC and its $200,000,000 annual profit like a light bulb so Mommy wouldn't be upset.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 29: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump’s newest threat: quote: “the bullets are flying, and it will only get worse!” There WERE no bullets on Sunday, other than those fired by the Secret Service. There was no line of sight for any shots. There are thus far no charges other than gun possession and the reality of the case suggests there may never be. The man who voted for Trump in 2016 and wanted to shoot or shoot at hm in 2024 didn’t even make the slightest attempt to resist arrest. Trump knows he was never in real danger. In fact he was genuinely put out that they wouldn’t let him finish the round of golf he was cheating through when the would-be almost sorta kinda assassination attempt didn’t-actually-take-place. JD Vance then followed with a tortured demand that America either let Trump do what he wants - including blaming the migrants for the security failures around him - including lying about the migrants - including destroying Springfield Ohio - or accept an America in which there's something wrong with falsely accusing beleaguered people with eating pets and those who make such accusations are subject to censorship and censorship inevitably leads to a bullet in the brain. Vance really said all this. And it all comes back to those ten words: “the bullets are flying, and it will only get worse!” Only getting worse, of course, is exactly what Trump wants. Any similarity between this madman and the president played by Martin Sheen in the Steven King film “The Dead Zone”: “The missiles are flying. Hallelujah, Hallelujah!” PLUS: Inside the attempts to defend yourself against political violence and the awful truth that you really can't, and based on my experience during 2006 when I repeatedly received mailings of fake anthrax, much of what we assume is security is actually just security theater. B-Block (35:10) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The leader of a Trumpler Youth Group named Brilyn Hollyhand thinks Trump was endangered by a "riffle." Speaker Mike Johnson's thumb is fine but Trump seems to be suffering from thumb erectile dysfunction. And his swipe at Taylor Swift may have cost him the support of Patrick Mahomes' wife Brittany because hatred and racism is cool but insulting Tay Tay is a bridge too far. C-Block (41:45) A SPECIAL SPORTSCENTRAL CENTER UPDATE: Baseball's annual suicide attempt. As the World Series TV audience shrinks to 10% of what it was fun 1978, what does the game need? Giant ADS on BOTH SIDES of every player's batting helmet! Along with a picture of an OSTRICH.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 28: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN Republican candidate Domestic J. Terrorist has now broken the record for most sharks jumped in a single day – electric sharks, with frickin laser beams on their heads – and is claiming he was the target of another assassination attempt in which no shots were fired and none of it happened nearer than 400 yards away from him and there’s no video and a preliminary ID shows a career criminal who was posting about his Republican dream ticket of Nikki Haley and Vivek Ramaswamy and within minutes Trump was fund-raising off it and trying to erase the memory of a post he’d made earlier in which he declared without context or rationality quote “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT.” Meanwhile his running mate Jayvee Vance confessed on national television that he “creates” stories like this lie about a city in the state he represents in the Senate, a lie that has led to the evacuation of schools, a hospital and a university and city offices, and if he cannot be forced to resign his office, there must be at minimum on the Senate floor TODAY, a motion to expel or at LEAST censure him. Oh and Kamala Harris’s lead over this procession of train wrecks – so many train wrecks that some of them wrecked while still at the STATION, while still in the TRAIN SHEDS – Kamala Harris’s lead has extended to SIX points among likely voters.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 3 EPISODE 27: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Donald Ducks out of another debate – while inadvertently confirming he lost the last one. The self-destruction of the Trump campaign and fascist political machine – so thorough and unexpected that it looks intentional – has escalated. They used to be evil and clever; now they are evil and stupid. This happened moments after a little-noticed tweet resurfaced from one of his House Elves, Congressman Mike Collins of Georgia. As the debate ended Tuesday night Collins had written “You want to know who won? Find out who refuses to do a second debate.” Literally within minutes… Trump refused to do a second debate. So burnt out that he RE-USED a line from Wednesday, Trump posted at 3:08 eastern yesterday, “When a prizefighter loses a fight, the first words out of his mouth are ‘I want a rematch.’ Polls clearly show that I won the debate…” They didn’t; but of course were Trump to admit this, I suspect he would die. I mean this literally; if he somehow acknowledged his utter failure, the violent self-destruction of his entire ecosystem would be so damaging that he could no longer exist. So blah blah; confuses political asylum with mental asylums again, again contradicts himself by noting that HE insisted on a second debate with Biden, tries to take the one glimmer of an impact he made during his closing statement about problems not solved during this presidency, then, in all caps so you know he’s especially crazy, quote, “THERE WILL BE NO THIRD DEBATE!” PLUS: Harris up by FIVE in Morning Consult polls and Nate Silver does something useful: explains why her Debate Bump may not happen for days or weeks. Panic and infighting in the Trump campaign as Lindsey Graham joins Marjorie Taylor Greene in the bid to break up Trump and his newest crush, Laura "Acting Melania" Loomer. A new journalistic outlet has the full backstory of the "Migrants Eating Cats" nonsense and surprisingly enough all the sources are fourth-hand. And how do you make another January 6th impossible? Make it as difficult to get around DC ON January 6th as it is to get around NYC during the UN General Assembly, and even Thump's thugs will give up in frustration and go the F home. B-Block (21:03) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The Trump lawyer who defended separating immigrant families at the border insists you can't separate families for the 35 seconds it takes to put the supermarket shopping cart back in the rack. Fox's Rachel Campos-Duffy assumes that because Linsey Davis and Kamala Harris were in the same sorority 14 years apart there's a conspiracy. And the mask falls off: Trump Bigot-In-Chief Stephen Miller gets eaten alive by an immigrant, who gets Miller to confirm he believes Venezuelan Dictator Nicolas Maduro. C-Block (36:43) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: As brilliant and subtle an insight into a writer's mind as Thurber ever offered. You'd never notice unless I mentioned it, but watch how his imagination could turn a casual overheard remark into a marvelous, self-satirizing, comedic spy story in "The Lady On 142."  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.