Desire on Fire

You know how we love to invite men onto our podcast, and today’s guest brings a ton of depth, insight, and honesty around the male perspective.    Kevin Hermann is a highly skilled and experienced coach, specializing in business, leadership, and life coaching. He’s led over 25 in-person retreats (that’s a LOT of retreats!!).   But so much more than all these credentials and accomplishments, what you get from Kevin is just the transparency he brings to this conversation. He shares openly about being newly engaged and monogamous, what this new level of commitment has brought up in his relationship… and so much more!   If you’ve ever been curious about men’s work — what it is, what it isn’t, how it’s changing — then this episode is for you.    You’ll hear about what men are struggling with the most, what they need the most, and how connecting at a deeper level with themselves and other men is essential for their growth and wellbeing. (Sound familiar? We say the same about sisterhood all the time!)     You can find Kevin on Instagram where he’s riffing on the evolution of the masculine and exploring the connection between style and spirituality.   What you’ll learn in this episode:    What Kevin thinks about polarity — its benefits and challenges for men and women How Kevin responds to the question, Where are all the good men?  Why you can’t push your man into being in a men’s group (and a better way to introduce it)    Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Kevin: Kevin’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kev_hermann/ Kevin’s website: https://www.kevinhermann.com/ Kevin on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevinhermann/   People + resources mentioned in this episode: Dan Doty: https://dandoty.com/ David Dieda’s The Way of the Superior Man Groups recommended by Kevin: Everyman   ManKind Project Sacred Sons Man UNcivilized ManTalks  

We’ve got another incredible Inner Circle Q&A call for you today!    As so often happens, there is a common thread that winds its way through all these powerful shares today.    Whether it’s being a caretaker for an ailing family member, dealing with old patterns in your family dynamics, navigating the fear and tenderness of a new relationship, or living in the tension of taking on bold new things…    … today’s brave women are all dealing in some way or another with what it means to jump in bravely, with total honesty and vulnerability, and then trust the Universe to give you what’s best for you.    If you’re seeking a straight shot of spiritual connection… then this episode is for you!    These calls are like parachuting right into the heart of why spirituality + sisterhood are SO important for transformation.    There is so much gold in these calls, and we’re excited to share this one with you!    What you’ll learn in this episode:    What it looks like to finally stop playing games and manipulating men What you might be fundamentally misunderstanding about vulnerability in relationships Why money made in the energy of turn-on + alignment goes WAY farther than money made from force or obligation   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Lynne Forrest’s Victim Triangle Lynne Forrest’s book, Guiding Principles for Life Beyond Victim Consciousness Alison Armstrong  

In her “before doing the work” life, this is what Tanai Milgram said about herself: My whole life, I was so proud that no guy ever hurt me, that I was always the one to run away or catch the asshole before he hurt me.    She’d left a trail of dozens of broken hearts in her wake … but she felt more alone and angry than ever.    Like a lot of girls, Tanai grew up with the conditioning that it wasn’t okay for her to express her full range of emotion. Being kind, sweet, and compliant was rewarded. But expressing things like anger, disappointment, deep sorrow, shame, or even ecstatic joy — these were on the “not approved” list.    In this conversation, Tanai and I get to the very heart of why we close off so much, the price we pay for our silence and withholding, and what miracles start to happen when we FINALLY give ourselves permission to be fully self-expressed.    I think you’ll find SO much to relate to here — the anger and resentment, the pain of not holding good boundaries, the absolute terror of being seen, the ways our bodies are constantly trying to send us signals, and the wild journey we’re all on.    Today, Tanai is a Women’s Intimacy Coach, podcast host, and somatic trauma healer. She’s helped hundreds of women be unapologetically self-expressed in their relationships, using different styles of coaching, somatic meditations, retreats, and feminine embodiment practices.   And in her “after doing the work” life, she knows that the key to finding true, lasting love is — paradoxically — allowing yourself to be heartbroken. Tune in today to receive this juicy wisdom!    In this episode, you’ll learn: All about Tanai’s exciting journey and how she got where she is today What happens in our bodies and our lives when we repress our anger How her pussy was trying to communicate with her — and what happened when she finally listened The moment on a DoF retreat that was the turning point for her Why sisterhood matters so much — even if your “issue” is with men The key to finally attracting the kinds of men you say you want   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie Connect with Tanai: Check out Tanai’s Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/tanaimilgram Tanai’s website: https://www.tanaimilgram.com/ Wild Ugly Beautiful Retreat in Mexico (with Rinsha Ballani) — happening this April! The Unapologetic Program   Resources mentioned in this episode: A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson Landmark Education  

It’s not every day you hear about someone getting her start in the world of sexual education by opening up a sex shop with her mom — but if there’s one word to describe our guests today, it’s definitely “unconventional.”    Amy Baldwin is a Certified Sexuality Educator with a degree in Psychology and a minor in Human Sexuality from San Francisco State University. In 2008, she opened Pure Pleasure Shop with her mother in Santa Cruz, CA.    Their first employee was April Lampert… and the rest, as they say, is history.    April showed up with a little less experience but a whole lot of fun and curiosity, and today she is the Vice President of Hot Octopuss, an innovative pleasure product company, and has dedicated her working life to educating people on a global scale about sexual pleasure, health and wellness, and pleasure products.   Together, Amy and April started the Shameless Sex podcast. Their goal is to engage in unabashed real talk about sexuality with a playful twist, so that people everywhere can be inspired to experience radical self-love, sexual empowerment, and shame-free intimacy.   Today we’re diving in with Amy and April to talk about how to start using sex toys, what to do if you’re curious (and maybe a little squeamish) about trying anal, and how to keep sex hot and alive in long term relationships.    You’re going to love this no-holds-barred conversation with two hilarious women who know how to put pleasure first.    What you’ll learn in this episode: Where to start if you’ve never used sex toys before How to safely explore anal to increase pleasure How Amy and April got into business together Whether porn can be a positive resource in your own sex life Amy and April’s tips for keeping the sizzle in long-term relationships   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Amy + April:   April on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aprillampert Amy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amyshamelesssex Pure Pleasure website: https://www.purepleasureshop.com/ Listen to the Shameless Sex podcast   Products + Resources mentioned in this episode: Uberlube Hot Octopuss sex toys Esther Perel Dipsea erotica Bree Mills at Adult Time for educational porn Tristan Taormino and Sex Out Loud Radio

Today we’re giving you another peek behind-the-scenes, into a call with some of our inner circle clients.    And there must be something in the air, because this call definitely seemed to have a theme: navigating unknowns, holding tension in the in-between, and nurturing connection in our existing relationships as we’re changing.    Here’s something that not a lot of people talk about in transformational work: it can be lonely at times.    Yes, there are the highs. Moments of total magic and healing. Reaching new levels of love for yourself and others. Really feeling your own power. It’s amazing!    And also? Sometimes that’s weird for other people. They don’t know how to handle it. You might  worry about losing friendships, or dynamics changing. You might feel pulled to try and mend broken relationships, or to let go of those that aren’t in alignment. You might realize that your old friendships can’t quite hold the depth we crave — and it can be hard to know how to find that solid sisterhood you really desire.   In this call, we’re going deep on what it means to surrender to this messy middle, and to trust that something greater is guiding you through.    What we cover in this episode:   What to do with the fear of losing control How to stay intimate + vulnerable when we’re going through intense transformation   How sisterhood can help ALL your relationships How to listen to your body so you know when it’s time for a change What it means to ‘intentionally cause intimacy’ when you’re longing for more connection in your life Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie  

If you’ve ever felt yourself buying into the cultural idea that sexiness, play, and pleasure fizzle after a certain age … then stop everything you’re doing and listen to this episode!    Today we’re thrilled to have Tantra expert and international bestselling author Laurie Handlers on the show, and what an incredible conversation this is.    Laurie is full of fire — you can feel it. It’s in her body, her voice, her stories. She oozes confidence and total Pleasure Queen energy.    Also? She knows her shit. She’s been doing this work since 1978 and is one of the world’s foremost authorities on Tantra and transformation through pleasure.   In this interview, we cover everything from BDSM and what makes a relationship sizzle to her first marriage at 75 and embracing lifelong sexiness.    You’ll see why she’s helped tens of thousands of couples and singles all over the world to experience the healing principles of Tantra and to discover why our higher purpose and creative life force are so intimately linked to our sexuality.     Trust us, Laurie Handlers is #goals and you’re gonna love her.    What you’ll learn in this episode:   Why Laurie decided to get married at 75 (and their unique love story!) How women 50 years and beyond can stay sexy, curious + adventurous  What Laurie saw was missing from Tantra that prompted her to write her bestselling book The importance of masculine and feminine energy to create whole-life integrity What made Laurie change her mind about BDSM The unusual definition of love Laurie and Michael hold — and why it works Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Laurie:  Website: https://lauriehandlers.com/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/laurie.handlers Sex & Happiness book Extraordinary Lovers retreat   Resources mentioned in this episode: Existential Kink, by Carolyn Elliott Rinsha episode on loving your body as it is International School of Temple Arts (ISTA) Miss Jaiya + Erotic Blueprint Om Rupani, Tantra + BDSM teacher Orgasmic Meditation Guy Shahar + Tantra Speed Date Landmark Education Allison Armstrong

We’re doing something we’ve never done on the podcast before!    We know that real sisterhood is medicine. The vulnerability, the intimacy, the no-BS reflections — this is the stuff that heals, expands, and empowers like nothing else.    The Inner Circle is a paid membership for women that have been working with us for years: graduates of our Pleasure Mastery Program, retreats, or leadership programs. And each month, we do a real-time Q&A with the biggest things they’re facing.     And we realized something: there is SO much gold inside these calls.    These are women who are living from their desires, who are exploring all kinds of new ways of thinking, acting, and being in the world.    They are IN IT, doing this work with such heart. And witnessing that work in real time can be an incredible teacher for all of us.     We love our Inner Circle calls so much that we wanted to try sharing them with everyone! So with the permission of the Inner Circle members, we’re trying something new.    We recorded this call and are offering it to you. It’s basically a free mini-masterclass, filled with the wisdom that only sisterhood can bring. We hope you enjoy it! Inside the episode you’ll learn:   How to handle uncomfortable conversations with people who disagree with you (especially when you crave their approval) Practical tools that can help you let go of spiritual bypassing and work with your rage so that it actually comes in service of your highest good Noticing the difference between and open-hearted boundary and a wall What you can do if you’re experiencing intense PMS symptoms   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Spiritual Bypassing book Robert Augustus Master Woman Code by Alisa Vitti Code Red by Lisa Lister

Today we’re diving deep with the sexy, playful Shaft Uddin!    At Desire on Fire, we always say that healing one area of your life never stays in that one area.    That’s why when you work on expanding your desire, pleasure, and connection in your sex life, you find yourself with more of all of that in the rest of your life, too.    You begin to see powerful shifts in your romantic relationships, your work, your finances, and your sense of self-love. It’s all connected!    For Shaft Uddin, that’s the ultimate beauty of tantra and why it’s such an effective tool for expansion, healing, and growth. The profound intimacy of tantra brings peace — and that has a  miraculous, magical effect in all areas of our lives.    Shaft was SO generous with his story and with his healing journey. We know you’re going to love his insights on sex, intimacy, trauma, healing old family wounds, and the immense power of forgiveness.    A self-described “juicy geek,” Shaft is a yoni whisperer, tantric practitioner, somatic trauma therapist, and sacred sexuality coach.    In this episode, you’ll learn: Shaft’s amazing personal story of trauma, forgiveness, and freedom What tantra is and why it’s so powerful What happens in a tantric massage session Prompts for how to genuinely connect with difficult people in your life   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Shaft: Website: http://www.sacredsexualawakening.com/ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/shaftuddin/ YouTube: youtube.com/user/shaftuddin Resources/people mentioned in this episode: Gina Swire: https://www.ginaswire.com/ Podcast episode with Gina  

We’re back after a 2-month hiatus from podcasting, blogging, promo-ing, and social media … and we’re feeling GREAT.    A lot has changed in those two months. Like a LOT.   For one, we (Aimee, Ellie, Rob, and Bear) left LA and are now all living together in Austin, TX. And that’s just the tip of the massive change iceberg.    Throughout the last several months, we’ve been slowly passing through what feels like a major portal.    It’s been an initiation into what it really means to tune into and trust desire, especially when you don’t have instant clarity about what’s next and the place you are looks pretty damn perfect on paper.    Most of all, it’s been an incredible growth opportunity and a chance to really experience the profound difference between acting out of urgency and waiting patiently for the Fuck Yes!    Today, we’re diving into the intense portal that the last year has been for all of us — what we wrestled with, what we waited for, how we grew, and what we’ve learned.    Listen to find out: What made us decide to relocate  How it’s been working to have Aimee living with Ellie + fam  Why Aimee was a “yes” to Austin — and things that have surprised her What it means to wait patiently for the clarity of your desire in a world that’s obsessed with instant gratification How to trust the greater plan of the Universe, even when your life looks nothing like you wish it did Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

If you’re an ambitious woman like our guest today (and like both Aimee and Ellie), you might know how easy it is to confuse your work with your worth.  It’s so easy to get caught up in hustle and the masculine energy of go go go that we forget ourselves — our bodies, our desires, our wellbeing. The feminine path isn’t just about appreciating our amazing bodies (though that’s definitely part of it) and reconnecting with our desire and pleasure (also a huge component).  It’s about how surrender is the current we ride into all the very best things in our lives: abundance, real love, pleasure, purpose.  We don’t have to work and push to make things happen. The magic + medicine of the feminine is that she already knows how to allow every good thing. We just have to listen and trust her.  Today’s guest knows the exquisite ecstasy of surrender, in part because she’s already experienced the other side — the hard-driving, the achieving, the burnout, and the numb sense that no matter how much you work, you’re never really going to “get there.”  And she knows what happens when you let it all go and choose the path of rest, healing, listening, and deep trust.  Mel Wells is a bestselling author and an embodied leadership and intimacy coach for queens. She’s trained in holistic sex, love and relationships, eating psychology, and holistic health — and she sees now how reconnecting with the Divine feminine is what holds all of this together.  She’s also a blissed-out partner and brand new momma, and that journey is bringing home with even more tenderness the lessons of surrender. You’re going to LOVE this wise, open conversation with someone who has journeyed far and found her way back to herself with such grace.   In this episode, you’ll learn: The major shift Mel made in her business  How she started to feel the call to move into the space of feminine work Why women have to address the “when/then” mindset if they want to be happy Her amazing love story with her current partner Her journey of pregnancy and the miraculous birth of her baby Sky Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iammelwells/ https://www.instagram.com/thegoddesscollective_/ https://www.instagram.com/thequeendomcouncil/ Website: https://melwells.com/ Related episodes: Doing Less, Living Cyclically + Experiencing More “Yum” With Kate Northrup

Have you ever wished there was a 5 Love Languages … but for sex?    You know: a way to know what nourishes you in the bedroom, what turns you on (and off), what turns your partner on (and off), what would lead to the most fulfilling, most satisfying sex you could possibly have.    That’s what the Erotic Blueprints deliever!    When you know your erotic blueprint, you finally have a language to understand and communicate how you relate to eroticism. You’ll be better able to communicate what you need. And you’ll be able to let go of judgments around your own desires and those of your partner.    So knowing your erotic blueprint isn’t just sex-life-changing — although it’s definitely that! — it can actually be a vehicle for deep connection and healing with your partner. There’s a reason this framework has become such a cornerstone of the work we do at Desire on Fire.   Today, Aimee is sharing an interview she did with Danielle Hatton on Danielle’s podcast. Together, they’re doing a deep-dive into the 5 Erotic Blueprints — what they look like, what they need, what their superpowers and shadows are, and how you can use these guides as a way to expand fully into who you are as a sexual being.    In this episode, you’ll learn:   What the Erotic Blueprints are, how they work, and how they can transform your sex life How to work with them The biggest misconception about male and female sexuality What both Aimee and Danielle share in common when it comes to their blueprints How to talk to your partner about this work What you can do if you and your partner have very different blueprints (no, you don’t have to break up!)   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Are you hiding your true personal style “in the closet”? What are you denying your true style desires — because you feel like they’re too much, or not enough, or that your body isn’t “right” enough yet to wear what you want to wear?    Celebrity stylist Elissa Williams (and stylist for Aimee and Ellie at the Desire on Fire Experience!) believes fashion is way more than just clothes and trends.    It’s a tool for self-expression, empowerment, and manifestation in our lives. It’s a way we communicate our real selves, and a physical representation of our self-love.    And at its root, leaning into our natural style can be a deeply sacred practice, because our clothes are a physical reminder of all we’re becoming.    When we wear what we love and what makes us feel alive, free, sexy, abundant, and playful — regardless of the price tag — we’re actually calling in more of the life we desire.    Elissa is a celebrity stylist and investor, speaker, founder of the Embodied Style Method and The School of Heart-Centered Styling.    She’s a style alchemist, mixing fashion, self-expression, and a radical call to be the most evolved version of ourselves by creating a wardrobe that feels good and magnetizes abundance.   In this energetic, positive workshop, Elissa walks us through the keys to powerfully embodying your personal style.   She is FULL of bright wisdom, intelligent insight, and a totally magical approach to the simple, powerful act of dressing yourself each day.    In this episode, you’ll learn: Elissa’s background and how she got where she is today Her surprising take on what “next level” really means Elissa’s 5 steps to embody your personal style Why you should never hold back on getting different clothes when your body changes What to do when you’re a Chanel girl who’s currently living on a Target budget How she’s found joy, abundance, and sexiness as a new mom Listen, follow, and review our podcast here!    Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Elissa: Website: https://www.theschoolofheartcenteredstyling.com/ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/elissamwilliams Free guide: https://yourvirtualclosetconcierge.members-only.online/manifest

We know many of you have been following Aimee’s unconventional adventures with Alex over the last three months.    From the Tantra retreat that was their first date to the 10 days in Australia that was their second, nothing about Aimee and Alex’s experience has been ordinary.    Their chemistry was palpable right off the bat, their connection felt real, and they definitely shared important things in common: personal growth work, embodied practices, coaching, and embracing a spirit of adventure and curiosity together.    In this episode, Ellie joins Aimee as she shares the rollercoaster details of the last few weeks and the lessons learned as she and Alex decided to close this chapter of their relationship together.    Ellie witnessed it all play out in real time, as they were all together in Portugal for the final days — and her perspective as a loving friend and wise sister makes the conversation that much more real and honest.     What you’ll learn in this episode:   What led up to Aimee + Alex deciding to meet up in Portugal What felt amazing, what felt difficult — and when Aimee really knew it was over The moment when true sisterhood came into play to help Aimee face reality (why we need sisters, y’all!) Why Alex has been Ellie’s favorite relationship for Aimee (so far), even though she knew the relationshift was the right thing What it means to “choose yourself” in the midst of emotional entanglement and difficult choices What Aimee is taking away from this experience, and what she’s up to now   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Related episodes: Tantra Retreat

In our culture, we tend to think of “success” as linear, and we measure it by “more” — more money, more stuff, bigger numbers, more followers, more work.    But when we look at the natural world, we don’t see linearity anywhere. It’s ALL seasons and cycles. Rest + work. Growing + birthing. Sowing + harvest.    So … why do we insist on running our lives by a measurement that is SO out of sync with our bodies, our souls, and literally all of nature and reality?    And why are we surprised that we’re stressed, burned out, and that our creative, sensual, and erotic energy is dried up?   If you’ve done all the mindset work — the affirmations, the mantras, the positive thinking — and you still find yourself encountering the same struggles and roadblocks when it comes to work, money, and rest — then this episode is for you.    Today’s episode with Kate Northrup is going to challenge and upend EVERYTHING you thought you knew about success, satisfaction, and how to get what you truly desire.    This is the perfect time to have Kate on the show, because we are in a season of huge change here at Desire on Fire, where we’ve been confronted again and again with what we thought “should” be happening vs. what is actually happening and what wants to be moving through us.     What happens when we let go of control, drop deeply into our bodies, allow the flow, honor the cyclical nature of reality, and actually … do less?     Oh how you’re going to LOVE this refreshing, vital conversation with the incomparable Kate Northrup!   In this episode, you’ll learn: What the patriarchal model is missing, and why it’s time to let it go Why you might want to reconsider goal-setting The lie we believe about finances and fulfillment — and what we need to embrace instead How Kate approaches marriage, sex, and eroticism as a highly amibitious, successful woman (this one might surprise you) Why there is no direct relationship between our numbers (money, followers, clients, etc.) and our impact — and how this can free us up (this insight was huge for us)   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Kate:  Insta: @katenorthrup Website: theorigincompany.co  Resource: The Business Pressure Relief Kit  Book: Do Less

If you met Danielle, you’d see an absolutely gorgeous, vivacious woman. And if you spent any amount of time talking to her, you’d immediately notice her depth, her curiosity, and her natural healing energy.    But like so many of us, she’s spent a lifetime dealing with the shadow of body insecurity — picking up on societal messages, mirroring her own mother’s struggles, being steeped in beauty and dance culture.    It wasn’t until she started diving into her work with Desire on Fire that she began to look more closely at where these judgments were coming from — and what they were costing her. As she’s moved deeper into living a desire-led life, she’s found a way to “unhook” from these patterns, and that has given her an immense amount of freedom in her life.    Here at Desire on Fire, we talk quite a bit about “shadow work” — but that can sometimes feel vague to someone who’s new to it.    So today in this vulnerable conversation between Ellie and Danielle, you’ll get a concrete sense of what it means to face your shadows, to look at them tenderly, and then to release the hold they have on your life.    We hope you find this conversation to be as encouraging and inspiring as we did!    Danielle is currently a coach and breathwork teacher who works with clients virtually all over the world, and if you’re lucky enough to live in London, you can now work with her in person.    In this episode, you will learn: How Danielle and Ellie first met What shaped Danielle’s ideas of her own beauty and body when she was growing up The tipping point for her — and how the work with Desire on Fire has offered her new tools to deal with an old shadow What it was like for her to voice her desires for the first time at the Desire on Fire Experience What changes when you simply refuse to participate in old patterns (even when everyone around you still is) Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Danielle: Website: https://www.daniellehatton.com/ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/daniellehattonn/

One of the foundational values of the work we do, and the work we love guiding other women through, is radical honesty.    And both of us have realized recently that we need to reconnect with this value when it comes to our struggles trying to “make it happen” with the upcoming Desire on Fire Live event at the end of October.    Because here’s the deal: it’s been a hard, challenging, stressful year of planning. And we weren’t expecting that. In fact, we were expecting it to be smooth sailing. And we hung on for a long, long time to that expectation.    So when we seemed to encounter nothing but roadblocks — messaging snafus, canceled venues, date change, slow signups — we were really starting to feel stressed and discouraged.   We got so caught up in what wasn’t working that we lost sight of everything that was there for us, everything we had to be truly grateful for, and in some ways even the heart of the Experience itself. We were talking about this year as if it were playing piggyback on last year — when in fact, 2022 is a dramatically different year in a thousand different ways, and we weren’t honoring that reality as much as we could have.    So this episode is ALL about clearing the mess. We want to tell you what we’ve been learning (and re-learning) about this work.    That means sharing what’s real. Getting back to our foundation of gratitude, abundance, and flow. Reconnecting with the powerful, fierce heart of the Desire on Fire Experience. And extending a heartfelt invitation to all of you to come just as you are, whatever that looks like this year.    What you’ll learn in this episode:  The rollercoaster of this year compared to last year Where we lost sight — and how we regained it Why Fall 2022 has a completely different feel (and very different needs) How this journey has called us to recommit to service What the DOFE really stands for Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price! Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Related episodes:Ellie Shares Her Amazing Birth Story! Excavating Your Shadows with Adrian Ellison

In her early 20s, Elena Rossi spent 7 years dealing with chronic vaginal pain, yeast infections, and UTIs. She saw 22 doctors, tried all kinds of meds and creams — and nothing was working. The pain was actually getting worse.   In all her visits to doctors of all kinds, all the questions were about her body. No one ever asked her about her relationship, or the quality of sex with her then-boyfriend, or if she felt safe or loved. No one ever asked, How is your heart?    It took her p*ssy literally clamping down and excruciating pain to get her to stop and listen to what her body had been trying to tell her (louder and louder) for years. She was in an abusive relationship, and her entire being was saying: no, stop, get out, run.    Her body held a wisdom that at the time she couldn’t recognize or interpret. She spent the next 5 years on a journey of physical, mental, and emotional healing that eventually led to her sexual healing. And in the process, she discovered her life’s work.    Elena is a female libido specialist, the author of 2 books, a sex toy designer, and the founder of The Yoni Empire. A sensual connoisseur at heart, she helps women explore the nourishing power of sexuality infused with purpose and meaning.   Today’s conversation is raw and radically honest — the kind of no-BS truth-telling that women need in order for real healing to take place. Elena gets at the heart of what we’re really craving, why porn makes a terrible sex-ed teacher, and what we need to admit to ourselves before we can truly find pleasure and sexual freedom.    What you’ll learn in this episode:  Elena’s personal journey from suffering to healing Aimee’s recent experience of listening to her body As women, what it means to get clear on our intentions for sex  What’s really going on when people say they’ve ‘lost’ their libido What’s underneath the things we say we want The thing we don’t want to be honest about when it comes to sex   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Elena: Insta: https://www.instagram.com/the_yoni_empire Website: https://theyoniempire.com/   People/resources mentioned: Steve Haines, Trauma Release Exercises: his book

If you’re a Projector (or you have Projectors in your life and you want to understand/support them better) — then today’s episode is for you!    In this conversation, Ellie connects with Christen Hillmer, a coach and healer who is part of Desire on Fire community. She’s a recent graduate of our Apprenticeship Program— and she also happens to be a Projector.    Here’s why this conversation is so important right now: Projectors only make up about 20% of the population, but are essential in facilitating healing, guidance, and wisdom for the planet.    And if you’re a Projector, you may have felt it: living fully by your design can be tricky, because we live in a culture that is really set up for Generators.    We get all kinds of rewards and affirmation for action and hustle and hard work. And things like extra naps, light workloads, quiet, and ease can be seen as not productive and actually kind of … well, lazy.     Today, Ellie and Christen dive into what it means to be a Projector and an entrepreneur — and how to build a life that actually allows you to thrive … exactly the way you were meant to.    What you’ll learn in this episode:  What it was like for Ellie and Christen to discover they were Projectors The telltale signs that a Projector is operating from her aligned energy source — or not How to find ways to be seen that feel authentic, free, and empowering (vs. depleting and stuck in comparison) — whether you’re on or off social media The biggest challenges Projectors face The 4 main areas of life where a Projector needs true sovereignty (vs. neediness) in order to be at peace What does it really mean to “wait for the invitation” and how can you become more attuned to invites coming in? Join us for The Ignited Woman Masterclass series, happening through the entire month of September! Sign up for free here: www.desireonfire.com/ignitedwoman   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price! Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Christen:  Insta: https://www.instagram.com/christen.hillmer/ Resources/people mentioned: Jenna Zoe at www.Myhumandesign.com Travis Day 

Is it possible to truly, genuinely, passionately love your body … AND also want to change it?    Does desiring change mean you don’t fully accept your body?    In a cultural movement that’s all about cultivating self-love, it can actually feel weird and shameful to want to change our bodies — whether it’s by losing weight, gaining weight, working out, cosmetic procedures, or plastic surgery.    The result can be a kind of forced silence around the deep longings we might have, and a resistance to facing the shame we feel. So we might recognize we’re losing out on certain aspects of abundant, healthy, sexy living in our current bodies … but feel totally unclear on how to choose a new way of showing up.     So where does “positivity” cross over into “bypassing”? How can that be disempowering for women? And how can we practice continually tuning into and trusting our real desires when it comes to the choices we make around our bodies, regardless of where the cultural tides move?    That’s what we’re talking about today, and wow — this is a nuanced, juicy episode!    We’ve got the incredible and much-beloved Rinsha Ballani back on the show. Rinsha has been an integral part of Desire on Fire since the beginning, and she’s no stranger to controversial stances — and this conversation is no exception.    Bold, contrarian, and beautifully vulnerable, this is an episode for anyone who is walking the long journey to true body-self-love and embracing your worthiness, your sexiness, and your desires for your body, regardless of what shape or size it is. What you’ll learn in this episode:    Why Aimee decided to hire a personal trainer in Bali The judgments we hold about others’ choices — and what those judgments are trying to show us Rinsha’s movement to genuinely love every inch of her body What the body positivity movement has brought us — and what it’s missing Working through our experiences of shame (instead of bypassing) to get to the deeper desire The plastic surgery Aimee really wants Learning to identify your “come from” — and why it makes all the difference  Join us for The Ignited Woman Masterclass series, happening through the entire month of September! Sign up for free here: www.desireonfire.com/ignitedwoman   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price! Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Rinsha: Insta: https://www.instagram.com/rinshaballani   Click here to opt-in to Rinsha’s email list to be the first to know when she launches her next offerings! https://view.flodesk.com/pages/6320cbd19f7462fb241d4f98 People/resources mentioned in this episode: Jordan Peterson Mikhaila Peterson Layla Martin Kyle Mercer website: https://www.lifeataltitude.com/ Kyle’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/inquirymethod Related episodes:  Kyle Mercer: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/aimee-and-ellie-get-coached-by-master-coach-and/id1511088586?i=1000557462717 Rinsha Ballani:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/have-the-best-sex-of-your-life-with-rinsha-ballani/id1511088586?i=1000532368599 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-deep-dive-with-rinsha-ballani-part-1/id1511088586?i=1000540608730 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-deep-dive-with-rinsha-ballani-part-2-blowing-shit/id1511088586?i=1000541332533

In early 2020, Jamie King was a rising star — an overnight sensation in the biz marketing world, landing 6-figure months like it was nothing and living in the limelight.    She was also falling apart — stretched way too thin, trying to be everything to everyone, traveling all the time, doing constant hustle + grind when what she really desired was to be home with her kids.    So for her, the lockdown was a godsend. It forced her to slow down. Take stock. Get back to the basics. Ask herself what she really wanted.    And it turned out, she wanted something very different from what she’d wanted before.    She had to get deeply in touch with everything she’d been bypassing. And she had to attend more than one ego-funeral that year. But it saved her, and it saved her marriage, and it gave her a whole new perspective on her mission and allowed her to shift her biz to be in alignment with her soul desires.    Today, with her collection of “Slay” programs, Jamie teaches creatives, coaches, course creators, and online “Slay-dy Bosses” the Mindset, Spiritual, and Strategic steps for building a highly engaged tribe, and scaling their businesses to multiple 6 Figures. And she does it on her terms.   You’ll notice from the first minute of this interview: Jaimie does NOT hide from what’s real. It’s all out there — the struggles, “failures” (listen in for her fabulous, empowering perspective on this), revelations, brags, and evolutions. Everything she’s accomplished is precisely because she is 100% committed to telling, living, and embodying her truth.    If you’re feeling the pull of a big transition or a shift in your identity — and especially if it’s kind of freaking you out — you are going to LOVE the wisdom Jamie brings in today’s conversation.    What you’ll learn in today’s episode:    What to do when your desires shift How to frame your experiences with bad investments, heartbreak, wrong choices, and “failures” The power of choosing to find the gift — and why it’s not the same as “toxic positivity”  Discerning the difference between consumption and true desire Embracing the pull to embrace a new identity    Join us for The Ignited Woman Masterclass series, happening through the entire month of September! Sign up for free here: www.desireonfire.com/ignitedwoman   Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California! www.desireonfirelive.com Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price! Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Jamie:  Insta: https://www.instagram.com/jamiejoslinking/  Website: https://www.theslaycoach.com/