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Desire on Fire

Author: Aimee Batuski & Ellie Montgomerie

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Welcome to the Desire on Fire podcast! (Formerly With Pleasure)

We're Aimee Batuski and Ellie Montgomerie, intimacy experts and two best friends on a mission to help YOU put pleasure first and own your feminine power.

If you are ready to become a powerful agent of change, who allows your desires to lead the way as you step into a whole new world of freedom, manifestation, and ease, then you're in the right place!

On this podcast we interview friends, lovers, experts, and thought leaders to remind you that no matter how big, wild, or taboo your desires are... you CAN have it all.
142 Episodes
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Hey there, welcome back to the Desire on Fire podcast! Today's episode is a bit of a departure from our typical topics, but an important one! This week we’re diving into talking about money, abundance, and financial freedom, topics that go hand-in-hand with living a life led by your deepest desires, and expanding into a life of abundance and fulfillment. Ellie sat down with an amazing guest expert: Penelope Jane Smith. She's a true thought leader in the realm of financial freedom, empowering countless female entrepreneurs with her unique strategies. Penelope shares her incredible money journey, from building a real estate empire to navigating tough times during market crashes. Her story is a testament to resilience and determination, and we hope it inspires and educates you. Find out what's in store for you in this episode: Visioning a lifestyle without the need to trade time for money  Why it’s not as difficult as it might seem to understand, manage, and grow your wealth  Create ideas for how to create passive income and become financially free Penelope's "MESS" system for accelerating wealth creation and financial freedom The importance of having the right mindset about money and prosperity   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/ Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/ Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie The Financial Freedom (free ebook) by Penelope Jane Smith: In this training, you’ll discover exactly what it’ll take for you personally to  become financially free so that you don’t have to depend on your business,  a job, the government, a partner, or anyone else for money. You’ll also learn: The Two Types of Passive Income (and How to Get More of Each) Why It’s Important to Create a Clear Financial Freedom Vision 3 Keys to Accelerating Your Journey to Financial Freedom Simple Steps You Can Take Right Now That Your Future Self Will Thank You For  (She’ll Have an Abundance of Money and Choice In Her Life!)  
Dive into an episode where vulnerability meets transformation, and authenticity challenges the status quo. Aimee and Ellie, joined by Ellie's insightful husband, Rob, peel back the layers of their personal and professional journeys, revealing the raw, unedited truths that lie beneath the surface. They touch on moments of struggle and the deep, often uncomfortable shifts that have defined their paths. The concept of “coherence” becomes a beacon of hope and a guide towards authenticity. But what does it really take to align your life and work with your deepest truths? Aimee, Ellie, and Rob don't just tell you; they take you on a journey through their own battles with resistance, fear, and the quest for authenticity in a world that often demands conformity. This episode is more than just a conversation; it's a gateway to a transformative experience. If you've ever felt the pull between who you are and who you're meant to be, between the safety of the known and the exhilarating fear of the unknown, then this is for you. Step into a space where the transformation is real, the vulnerability is palpable, and the journey towards authenticity is anything but linear. Prepare to be intrigued, challenged, and inspired! In this episode, you'll discover: The importance of stepping back and reflecting on the hidden wounds that may be driving our behavior and actions How identifying a “virus” at Aimee's birthday party sparked business changes and massive growth for all of us What we’re learning about polarity— what it actually means to us and how it’s playing out in our lives  Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/ Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/ Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie
We are BACK with a very special episode series for you!!   If you’ve been plugged into our community for the last six months or so, you’re probably aware that we’ve been going through a major metamorphosis over here at Desire on Fire. Releasing scarcity, fear and control so we can open to being held by and receiving from the masculine on a wholeee new level.   And Ellie’s husband Rob has been a key player who has catalyzed and supported this deep transformation (while simultaneously undergoing his own changes + awakening!).   So, we invited Rob onto the podcast so that we can dive deep with him, and really let you into the behind-the-scenes of this journey of what it’s REALLY looked like for each of us (the messy, real and raw!)   In this episode, Rob opens up about his own journey of healing, personal growth and finding coherence.   Rob shares how the power of masculine and feminine energies has helped him overcome generational wounds, enabling him to break free from harmful cycles, and helped him become the amazing husband and father that he is today—as well as his passion for bringing this work to the world, to impact future generations.   Get ready to be moved by Rob's story!   In this episode, you’ll learn:    What past experiences changed Robert’s life How one tough family dinner conversation showed the need for healing Why it doesn’t end with addressing relationship issues and why it needs commitment How the “Sacred Initiation” retreat was the ‘setup’ he needed  The unfolding of the ‘medicine for the collective’ What shaped his new life principles as husband and father Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie  
To listen to Jordan Candlish now, you might never guess he was once an ambitious  ladder-climber in the corporate accounting world.    To the outside world, he was the picture of success: achievement, stability, recognition.    But deep down, he knew that staying in that world and doing things the way everyone else did them was actually playing small and safe with his life. He knew he was meant for more.    So he took the leap into his own healing and evolution, and it’s never been more clear to him that he made the right choice.    Today, Jordan facilitates The Path, a men’s coaching program that helps men heal old wounds, open up new possibilities and true purpose, and gain the maturity and confidence they need to live full-on in their lives and relationships.   Aimee sat down with Jordan in Austin for a wide-ranging and intimate conversation about why men’s personal growth work matters now more than ever, and why healthy brotherhood is so essential for men to thrive.    What you’ll learn in this episode: How Jordan went from high-powered corporate life to coaching men Who he had to disappoint — and why he got okay with it What propelled him into this work The main issues that get addressed when coaching men Jordan’s view of porn (and what he thinks men should do) How he deals with controversy, failure, and criticism Come join us Oct. 13-15 at Desire On Fire Experience LIVE in gorgeous Austin, TX! Get 50% off your ticket when you use the code COMMUNITY. https://www.desireonfirelive.com/desireonfire-experience   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/
In today’s episode we sat down with our client and a college friend of Aimee’s, Makayla Davis.    She’s in one of our all-time favorite photos taken at a Desire On Fire Live event. She’s crying, fully immersed in a private moment of reckoning, and she’s holding the hand of her good friend.    It’s an image that perfectly encapsulates what we do and why we’re here: to help women thaw out, connect deeply with their aliveness in every area of life, and do it all together, held in a powerful container of real sisterhood.    What Makayla reveals in today’s conversation is that that moment happened at last year’s Desire On Fire experience, in response to a question from Ellie onstage.    For 30 years, she had been standing on the sidelines with her desires. When she reconnected with Aimee on social media and started seeing her posts, she experienced a whole range of feelings: judgment, envy, resistance, curiosity.    The loudest message in her head was: That’s not for you. For someone else, maybe, but not for you.     Today we sat down with Makayla to get the whole story — what brought her here, what held her back at first, what had her finally say “yes,” and why that’s made all the difference for her in her life, work, and relationships.    Makayla’s journey is perfectly her own, and also super relatable. She’s finally finding her center; discovering what it’s like to look people in the eye for the first time and ask for what she wants; practicing saying what needs to be said, even when it’s hard and messy; and finally buying lingerie.    It’s been a year of small steps that have added up to big transformation, with so much more ahead. If you’re wondering if this work is for you, or you’re curious but stuck because it feels way to edgy or taboo to talk about these things — we think you’re going to love this conversation.   In this episode, you’ll learn:  All the doubts, judgments, and fears that kept Makayla on the sidelines for so long… and what finally had her jump in The question on the first day that changed everything for her What’s shifted for her in the year since she said yes to Desire On Fire Come join us Oct. 13-15 at Desire On Fire Experience LIVE in gorgeous Austin, TX! Get 50% off your ticket when you use the code COMMUNITY. https://www.desireonfirelive.com/desireonfire-experience   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Makayla at Awaken Coaches: https://www.awakencoaches.com/
We love to hear from our community, and we love to share stories and breakthroughs with you! This work all happens inside of real lives… and there’s no better way to understand its transformative power than hearing directly from the women who have been through our programs and events.   Last year, Prudence Stein-Greene was a successful real estate agent in LA — an extremely high-stress and high-drive industry.   At the time, she was struggling with a business decision, so when a friend invited Prudence to attend our Desire on Fire Experience live in LA, she said yes, thinking it would be a great opportunity to have a business breakthrough.    There was something else, something bigger that was underneath her reason for saying yes to DOFE: she was completely, utterly exhausted. With everything.   Her work was incredibly demanding. She was burning out and missing out on coveted time with her kids. She had no connection at all to what she even wanted — in her work, in her marriage, in her life. She resorted to controlling things and people around her, including her husband, blaming him for her dissatisfaction and why their marriage wasn’t aligned.    Her friend encouraged her to spring for the hotel room, get away, and really devote herself to the work that weekend. She took the leap.   What happened in those couple of days changed everything. She had the business breakthrough… and a whole lot more.    We know you’re going to love this conversation with Prudence. You’ll get a real-life, down to earth take on what this work is, who it’s for, what it can do for you, and why we are SO passionate about getting women in a room together for this experience!     In this episode, you’ll learn:    What her fears were coming into the event The powerful breakthrough she experienced — and what it led to when she returned home What’s different for her now in her life, work, and relationships  The big change she made that has allowed her to expand her ability to hold sensation in her body The next steps she took after DOFE to fully claim her purpose, joy + passion Come join us Oct. 13-15 at Desire On Fire Experience LIVE in gorgeous Austin, TX! Get 50% off your ticket when you use the code COMMUNITY. https://www.desireonfirelive.com/desireonfire-experience   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie
Have you ever had a moment in your life when all your pain and accompanying coping mechanisms finally caught up with you?    When you finally saw with total clarity that if you wanted to be able to have any kind of happiness in life, you’d have to face that pain and find healing?    Our guest today is the relationship and intimacy coach Stefanos Sifandos — and he shares how that moment of getting “caught” forced him to reckon with a lifetime of abuse, fear, shame, and insecurity… and how that moment opened him up to the possibility of real love, deep connection, profound growth, and BIG impact on the world.    Today Stefanos is a husband and happy new dad, and in his work with individuals and couples, he helps people on the journey to loving all the parts of themselves that they’ve been trying to run from and getting back into healthy relationship with the core of what matters most to them.    And as he says: You can’t run a new life from an old blueprint — and that applies to healing, surrender, intimacy, becoming a parent, and any kind of major personal transformation.    If you’ve been on the verge of big change, and you know the time is right to face and heal your past, we think you’ll be deeply inspired by this heartfelt conversation with Stefanos!  What you’ll learn in this episode:  Where Stefanos got his start in transformational work How and why becoming a parent can feel like a “regression” in personal growth How shame holds us back – and what happens when we finally drop it Practical tips for balancing your nervous system when you’re in anxiety & shame How commitment actually leads to feeling more free Join The Pleasure Revolution: a live, 5-day guided experience for those who are ready to release the hustle and see how much more you can magnetize with your feminine energy leading the way. Join Us Here: https://bit.ly/TPRpodcast Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Stefanos:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stefanossifandos/ Website: https://stefanossifandos.com/  
We’ve taken a break from our podcast lately — not because we don’t love it, but because we realized we just needed to pull back on some aspects of the business to make room for all the change that’s been swirling around us.    So today we’re back, and we’re sharing a deep-dive conversation about what’s been going on in the business, in our relationships, and in our own personal growth as we navigate our transition to Austin together.    As we let the conversation flow, here’s a theme that kept arising:    We are both deeply committed to practicing what we preach, and one of the most powerful opportunities we get to do that is when things are not working for us.    It’s when we get stuck in “obligation” energy that we have the chance to reconnect authentically with a desire-led life.    It’s when our most intimate relationships are experiencing their biggest challenges that we get to lean into radical honesty, sisterhood, and surrender.    It’s when life doesn’t meet our expectations that we have the choice to either stay stuck in judgment and resentment… or move into looking at all the patterns that aren’t serving us and find the true medicine.   Choosing desire as a way of life is not easy. It will bring up ALL your shit and bring you to your knees.    And as we keep finding: it’s also the key to unlocking a quality of freedom and joy in life that we couldn’t even have imagined.    So listen in and catch up with us today!        What you’ll learn in this episode:    Navigating the complexity of living together as friends and business partners Aimee is confronted by her desire to go to Bali Why conscious relating is not for the faint of heart How to find the gold in situations that aren’t meeting your expectations   What it means to surrender when you’re in the middle of true pain + challenge Discerning when it’s time to surrender, and when it’s time to speak up A sneak peek into Amy’s most recent Tantric experience   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie  
One of the things that consistently brings women into the Desire On Fire community is shame.    Shame around sex for sure — wanting it, knowing what you want, asking out loud for what you want (often the most difficult and vulnerable part of our journey).    But it’s not just about sexual shame. It’s also about shame around all kinds of desire — for any kind of pleasure, fun, abundance, agency, freedom, or satisfaction.    Where does this shame come from? And how is it that even people who were raised outside of traditional religious environments and in sex-positive families (like Aimee and Ellie) still carry trauma and fear around sex and desire?    Our guests today have a unique perspective, because they grew up inside the conservative evangelical structures that gave rise to purity culture.    And through the long journey of exploration, unlearning, and finally being trained as sex therapists themselves, they’ve found a way forward towards healing, freedom, and wholeness — not just in their sex lives, but in the fullness of all kinds of desire.     If you grew up in purity culture (and spoiler alert: we all feel the effects of this paradigm, whether we grew up with religion or not), we think you’ll find this conversation with Juila Postema and Jeremiah Gibson to be enlightening and deeply encouraging.    Julia and Jeremiah are currently the hosts of the Sexvangelicals, a sexual health podcast and education platform with the mission to support relationships in reclaiming sexuality following adverse religious experiences.   What you’ll learn in this episode:  How Julia and Jeremiah found their way to freedom (and to each other) What exactly is purity culture?  How purity culture affects even non-religious people Why early + clear conversations around sex, pleasure, and desire are so important How you can begin your journey to break free from sexual shame   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Julia and Jeremiah: Sexvangelicals website Julia and Jeremiah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexvangelicals/ Sexvangelicals podcast   People + resources mentioned in this episode: DOF Episode with Elena Rossi on sexual healing after trauma AASECT (American Association of Sexual Educators, Counselors, and Therapists) Multi-Orgasmic Man, by Mantak Chia Extended Massive Orgasm, by Steve Bodansky Dr. Wednesday Martin Sexvangelicals podcast episode with Kara Haug - Reframing Our Stories   Apple Podcasts summary:  If you grew up in purity culture (and spoiler alert: we all feel the effects of this paradigm, whether we grew up with religion or not), we think you’ll find this conversation with Juila Postema and Jeremiah Gibson to be enlightening and deeply encouraging.    Julia and Jeremiah are currently the hosts of the Sexvangelicals, a sexual health podcast and education platform with the mission to support relationships in reclaiming sexuality following adverse religious experiences.   We’re looking at the roots of purity culture, its far-reaching effects on everything we do — and how to find healing and freedom in truth, love, and community. 
You know how we love to invite men onto our podcast, and today’s guest brings a ton of depth, insight, and honesty around the male perspective.    Kevin Hermann is a highly skilled and experienced coach, specializing in business, leadership, and life coaching. He’s led over 25 in-person retreats (that’s a LOT of retreats!!).   But so much more than all these credentials and accomplishments, what you get from Kevin is just the transparency he brings to this conversation. He shares openly about being newly engaged and monogamous, what this new level of commitment has brought up in his relationship… and so much more!   If you’ve ever been curious about men’s work — what it is, what it isn’t, how it’s changing — then this episode is for you.    You’ll hear about what men are struggling with the most, what they need the most, and how connecting at a deeper level with themselves and other men is essential for their growth and wellbeing. (Sound familiar? We say the same about sisterhood all the time!)     You can find Kevin on Instagram where he’s riffing on the evolution of the masculine and exploring the connection between style and spirituality.   What you’ll learn in this episode:    What Kevin thinks about polarity — its benefits and challenges for men and women How Kevin responds to the question, Where are all the good men?  Why you can’t push your man into being in a men’s group (and a better way to introduce it)    Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Kevin: Kevin’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kev_hermann/ Kevin’s website: https://www.kevinhermann.com/ Kevin on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevinhermann/   People + resources mentioned in this episode: Dan Doty: https://dandoty.com/ David Dieda’s The Way of the Superior Man Groups recommended by Kevin: Everyman   ManKind Project Sacred Sons Man UNcivilized ManTalks  
We’ve got another incredible Inner Circle Q&A call for you today!    As so often happens, there is a common thread that winds its way through all these powerful shares today.    Whether it’s being a caretaker for an ailing family member, dealing with old patterns in your family dynamics, navigating the fear and tenderness of a new relationship, or living in the tension of taking on bold new things…    … today’s brave women are all dealing in some way or another with what it means to jump in bravely, with total honesty and vulnerability, and then trust the Universe to give you what’s best for you.    If you’re seeking a straight shot of spiritual connection… then this episode is for you!    These calls are like parachuting right into the heart of why spirituality + sisterhood are SO important for transformation.    There is so much gold in these calls, and we’re excited to share this one with you!    What you’ll learn in this episode:    What it looks like to finally stop playing games and manipulating men What you might be fundamentally misunderstanding about vulnerability in relationships Why money made in the energy of turn-on + alignment goes WAY farther than money made from force or obligation   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Lynne Forrest’s Victim Triangle Lynne Forrest’s book, Guiding Principles for Life Beyond Victim Consciousness Alison Armstrong  
In her “before doing the work” life, this is what Tanai Milgram said about herself: My whole life, I was so proud that no guy ever hurt me, that I was always the one to run away or catch the asshole before he hurt me.    She’d left a trail of dozens of broken hearts in her wake … but she felt more alone and angry than ever.    Like a lot of girls, Tanai grew up with the conditioning that it wasn’t okay for her to express her full range of emotion. Being kind, sweet, and compliant was rewarded. But expressing things like anger, disappointment, deep sorrow, shame, or even ecstatic joy — these were on the “not approved” list.    In this conversation, Tanai and I get to the very heart of why we close off so much, the price we pay for our silence and withholding, and what miracles start to happen when we FINALLY give ourselves permission to be fully self-expressed.    I think you’ll find SO much to relate to here — the anger and resentment, the pain of not holding good boundaries, the absolute terror of being seen, the ways our bodies are constantly trying to send us signals, and the wild journey we’re all on.    Today, Tanai is a Women’s Intimacy Coach, podcast host, and somatic trauma healer. She’s helped hundreds of women be unapologetically self-expressed in their relationships, using different styles of coaching, somatic meditations, retreats, and feminine embodiment practices.   And in her “after doing the work” life, she knows that the key to finding true, lasting love is — paradoxically — allowing yourself to be heartbroken. Tune in today to receive this juicy wisdom!    In this episode, you’ll learn: All about Tanai’s exciting journey and how she got where she is today What happens in our bodies and our lives when we repress our anger How her pussy was trying to communicate with her — and what happened when she finally listened The moment on a DoF retreat that was the turning point for her Why sisterhood matters so much — even if your “issue” is with men The key to finally attracting the kinds of men you say you want   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie Connect with Tanai: Check out Tanai’s Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/tanaimilgram Tanai’s website: https://www.tanaimilgram.com/ Wild Ugly Beautiful Retreat in Mexico (with Rinsha Ballani) — happening this April! The Unapologetic Program   Resources mentioned in this episode: A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson Landmark Education  
It’s not every day you hear about someone getting her start in the world of sexual education by opening up a sex shop with her mom — but if there’s one word to describe our guests today, it’s definitely “unconventional.”    Amy Baldwin is a Certified Sexuality Educator with a degree in Psychology and a minor in Human Sexuality from San Francisco State University. In 2008, she opened Pure Pleasure Shop with her mother in Santa Cruz, CA.    Their first employee was April Lampert… and the rest, as they say, is history.    April showed up with a little less experience but a whole lot of fun and curiosity, and today she is the Vice President of Hot Octopuss, an innovative pleasure product company, and has dedicated her working life to educating people on a global scale about sexual pleasure, health and wellness, and pleasure products.   Together, Amy and April started the Shameless Sex podcast. Their goal is to engage in unabashed real talk about sexuality with a playful twist, so that people everywhere can be inspired to experience radical self-love, sexual empowerment, and shame-free intimacy.   Today we’re diving in with Amy and April to talk about how to start using sex toys, what to do if you’re curious (and maybe a little squeamish) about trying anal, and how to keep sex hot and alive in long term relationships.    You’re going to love this no-holds-barred conversation with two hilarious women who know how to put pleasure first.    What you’ll learn in this episode: Where to start if you’ve never used sex toys before How to safely explore anal to increase pleasure How Amy and April got into business together Whether porn can be a positive resource in your own sex life Amy and April’s tips for keeping the sizzle in long-term relationships   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Amy + April:   April on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aprillampert Amy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amyshamelesssex Pure Pleasure website: https://www.purepleasureshop.com/ Listen to the Shameless Sex podcast   Products + Resources mentioned in this episode: Uberlube Hot Octopuss sex toys Esther Perel Dipsea erotica Bree Mills at Adult Time for educational porn Tristan Taormino and Sex Out Loud Radio
Today we’re giving you another peek behind-the-scenes, into a call with some of our inner circle clients.    And there must be something in the air, because this call definitely seemed to have a theme: navigating unknowns, holding tension in the in-between, and nurturing connection in our existing relationships as we’re changing.    Here’s something that not a lot of people talk about in transformational work: it can be lonely at times.    Yes, there are the highs. Moments of total magic and healing. Reaching new levels of love for yourself and others. Really feeling your own power. It’s amazing!    And also? Sometimes that’s weird for other people. They don’t know how to handle it. You might  worry about losing friendships, or dynamics changing. You might feel pulled to try and mend broken relationships, or to let go of those that aren’t in alignment. You might realize that your old friendships can’t quite hold the depth we crave — and it can be hard to know how to find that solid sisterhood you really desire.   In this call, we’re going deep on what it means to surrender to this messy middle, and to trust that something greater is guiding you through.    What we cover in this episode:   What to do with the fear of losing control How to stay intimate + vulnerable when we’re going through intense transformation   How sisterhood can help ALL your relationships How to listen to your body so you know when it’s time for a change What it means to ‘intentionally cause intimacy’ when you’re longing for more connection in your life Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie  
If you’ve ever felt yourself buying into the cultural idea that sexiness, play, and pleasure fizzle after a certain age … then stop everything you’re doing and listen to this episode!    Today we’re thrilled to have Tantra expert and international bestselling author Laurie Handlers on the show, and what an incredible conversation this is.    Laurie is full of fire — you can feel it. It’s in her body, her voice, her stories. She oozes confidence and total Pleasure Queen energy.    Also? She knows her shit. She’s been doing this work since 1978 and is one of the world’s foremost authorities on Tantra and transformation through pleasure.   In this interview, we cover everything from BDSM and what makes a relationship sizzle to her first marriage at 75 and embracing lifelong sexiness.    You’ll see why she’s helped tens of thousands of couples and singles all over the world to experience the healing principles of Tantra and to discover why our higher purpose and creative life force are so intimately linked to our sexuality.     Trust us, Laurie Handlers is #goals and you’re gonna love her.    What you’ll learn in this episode:   Why Laurie decided to get married at 75 (and their unique love story!) How women 50 years and beyond can stay sexy, curious + adventurous  What Laurie saw was missing from Tantra that prompted her to write her bestselling book The importance of masculine and feminine energy to create whole-life integrity What made Laurie change her mind about BDSM The unusual definition of love Laurie and Michael hold — and why it works Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Laurie:  Website: https://lauriehandlers.com/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/laurie.handlers Sex & Happiness book Extraordinary Lovers retreat   Resources mentioned in this episode: Existential Kink, by Carolyn Elliott Rinsha episode on loving your body as it is International School of Temple Arts (ISTA) Miss Jaiya + Erotic Blueprint Om Rupani, Tantra + BDSM teacher Orgasmic Meditation Guy Shahar + Tantra Speed Date Landmark Education Allison Armstrong
We’re doing something we’ve never done on the podcast before!    We know that real sisterhood is medicine. The vulnerability, the intimacy, the no-BS reflections — this is the stuff that heals, expands, and empowers like nothing else.    The Inner Circle is a paid membership for women that have been working with us for years: graduates of our Pleasure Mastery Program, retreats, or leadership programs. And each month, we do a real-time Q&A with the biggest things they’re facing.     And we realized something: there is SO much gold inside these calls.    These are women who are living from their desires, who are exploring all kinds of new ways of thinking, acting, and being in the world.    They are IN IT, doing this work with such heart. And witnessing that work in real time can be an incredible teacher for all of us.     We love our Inner Circle calls so much that we wanted to try sharing them with everyone! So with the permission of the Inner Circle members, we’re trying something new.    We recorded this call and are offering it to you. It’s basically a free mini-masterclass, filled with the wisdom that only sisterhood can bring. We hope you enjoy it! Inside the episode you’ll learn:   How to handle uncomfortable conversations with people who disagree with you (especially when you crave their approval) Practical tools that can help you let go of spiritual bypassing and work with your rage so that it actually comes in service of your highest good Noticing the difference between and open-hearted boundary and a wall What you can do if you’re experiencing intense PMS symptoms   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Spiritual Bypassing book Robert Augustus Master Woman Code by Alisa Vitti Code Red by Lisa Lister
Today we’re diving deep with the sexy, playful Shaft Uddin!    At Desire on Fire, we always say that healing one area of your life never stays in that one area.    That’s why when you work on expanding your desire, pleasure, and connection in your sex life, you find yourself with more of all of that in the rest of your life, too.    You begin to see powerful shifts in your romantic relationships, your work, your finances, and your sense of self-love. It’s all connected!    For Shaft Uddin, that’s the ultimate beauty of tantra and why it’s such an effective tool for expansion, healing, and growth. The profound intimacy of tantra brings peace — and that has a  miraculous, magical effect in all areas of our lives.    Shaft was SO generous with his story and with his healing journey. We know you’re going to love his insights on sex, intimacy, trauma, healing old family wounds, and the immense power of forgiveness.    A self-described “juicy geek,” Shaft is a yoni whisperer, tantric practitioner, somatic trauma therapist, and sacred sexuality coach.    In this episode, you’ll learn: Shaft’s amazing personal story of trauma, forgiveness, and freedom What tantra is and why it’s so powerful What happens in a tantric massage session Prompts for how to genuinely connect with difficult people in your life   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Shaft: Website: http://www.sacredsexualawakening.com/ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/shaftuddin/ YouTube: youtube.com/user/shaftuddin Resources/people mentioned in this episode: Gina Swire: https://www.ginaswire.com/ Podcast episode with Gina  
We’re back after a 2-month hiatus from podcasting, blogging, promo-ing, and social media … and we’re feeling GREAT.    A lot has changed in those two months. Like a LOT.   For one, we (Aimee, Ellie, Rob, and Bear) left LA and are now all living together in Austin, TX. And that’s just the tip of the massive change iceberg.    Throughout the last several months, we’ve been slowly passing through what feels like a major portal.    It’s been an initiation into what it really means to tune into and trust desire, especially when you don’t have instant clarity about what’s next and the place you are looks pretty damn perfect on paper.    Most of all, it’s been an incredible growth opportunity and a chance to really experience the profound difference between acting out of urgency and waiting patiently for the Fuck Yes!    Today, we’re diving into the intense portal that the last year has been for all of us — what we wrestled with, what we waited for, how we grew, and what we’ve learned.    Listen to find out: What made us decide to relocate  How it’s been working to have Aimee living with Ellie + fam  Why Aimee was a “yes” to Austin — and things that have surprised her What it means to wait patiently for the clarity of your desire in a world that’s obsessed with instant gratification How to trust the greater plan of the Universe, even when your life looks nothing like you wish it did Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie
If you’re an ambitious woman like our guest today (and like both Aimee and Ellie), you might know how easy it is to confuse your work with your worth.  It’s so easy to get caught up in hustle and the masculine energy of go go go that we forget ourselves — our bodies, our desires, our wellbeing. The feminine path isn’t just about appreciating our amazing bodies (though that’s definitely part of it) and reconnecting with our desire and pleasure (also a huge component).  It’s about how surrender is the current we ride into all the very best things in our lives: abundance, real love, pleasure, purpose.  We don’t have to work and push to make things happen. The magic + medicine of the feminine is that she already knows how to allow every good thing. We just have to listen and trust her.  Today’s guest knows the exquisite ecstasy of surrender, in part because she’s already experienced the other side — the hard-driving, the achieving, the burnout, and the numb sense that no matter how much you work, you’re never really going to “get there.”  And she knows what happens when you let it all go and choose the path of rest, healing, listening, and deep trust.  Mel Wells is a bestselling author and an embodied leadership and intimacy coach for queens. She’s trained in holistic sex, love and relationships, eating psychology, and holistic health — and she sees now how reconnecting with the Divine feminine is what holds all of this together.  She’s also a blissed-out partner and brand new momma, and that journey is bringing home with even more tenderness the lessons of surrender. You’re going to LOVE this wise, open conversation with someone who has journeyed far and found her way back to herself with such grace.   In this episode, you’ll learn: The major shift Mel made in her business  How she started to feel the call to move into the space of feminine work Why women have to address the “when/then” mindset if they want to be happy Her amazing love story with her current partner Her journey of pregnancy and the miraculous birth of her baby Sky Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie   Connect with Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iammelwells/ https://www.instagram.com/thegoddesscollective_/ https://www.instagram.com/thequeendomcouncil/ Website: https://melwells.com/ Related episodes: Doing Less, Living Cyclically + Experiencing More “Yum” With Kate Northrup
Have you ever wished there was a 5 Love Languages … but for sex?    You know: a way to know what nourishes you in the bedroom, what turns you on (and off), what turns your partner on (and off), what would lead to the most fulfilling, most satisfying sex you could possibly have.    That’s what the Erotic Blueprints deliever!    When you know your erotic blueprint, you finally have a language to understand and communicate how you relate to eroticism. You’ll be better able to communicate what you need. And you’ll be able to let go of judgments around your own desires and those of your partner.    So knowing your erotic blueprint isn’t just sex-life-changing — although it’s definitely that! — it can actually be a vehicle for deep connection and healing with your partner. There’s a reason this framework has become such a cornerstone of the work we do at Desire on Fire.   Today, Aimee is sharing an interview she did with Danielle Hatton on Danielle’s podcast. Together, they’re doing a deep-dive into the 5 Erotic Blueprints — what they look like, what they need, what their superpowers and shadows are, and how you can use these guides as a way to expand fully into who you are as a sexual being.    In this episode, you’ll learn:   What the Erotic Blueprints are, how they work, and how they can transform your sex life How to work with them The biggest misconception about male and female sexuality What both Aimee and Danielle share in common when it comes to their blueprints How to talk to your partner about this work What you can do if you and your partner have very different blueprints (no, you don’t have to break up!)   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/
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