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EmPowered Couples with The Freemans

Author: Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman

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This podcast is all about Couples and the 3C’s: Communication, Conflict, Connection. These are not skills you automatically have when you get into a relationship, but that need to be developed to overcome the inevitable challenges that will come up. Couples who listen to the podcast say, “are they watching us?!” because of how extremely relatable and practical to your day-to-day life together these topics are! Hosts Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman are authors of The Argument Hangover and their programs and workshops have reached over a million people. They are parents to baby Skye Noël and live in Phoenix, Arizona.
339 Episodes
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Who's to blame for your frustrating problems and patterns in your relationship? It's obviously your partner, right... they're the problem. No… blaming them doesn't get you anywhere, in fact it makes things worse and more difficult to get out of.  If there's one thing that is inarguable in social psychology it's that relationships are bi-directional.Meaning, your attitude, actions, and choices affect your partner's attitude, actions, and choices, and vice versa. Unfortunately many couples stay stuck in frustrating cycles or without a solution because they aren't in a problem-solving state. If you truly operate as a team and dive a little deeper into WHY you keep encountering this frustrating pattern, you can overcome it together.   In this episode you’ll hear a deep-dive into: The 5 root causes of most marriage problems/issues 4 self-reflective questions to ask yourself to identify your partner in the situation  Understanding more about a psychology approach to effective problem solving   Use this link to join the mentioned Rebuilding Us 30-Day Couples Challenge (level 2).  Or for other resources, link on our general website link. 
There are disagreements in your relationship, and then there are Power Struggles! These power struggles are more detrimental and have deeper rooted contributing factors. They keep you from being the best team possible and being able to come up with mutually beneficial solutions for your family. In today’s episode we dive into: How to define a power struggle The goal of interdependence, rather than co-dependence or independence  Contributing factors to being in a power struggle Communication skills to be more collaborative + harmonious    Dive into our Relationship Resources: 📔 Family Meeting guide 💻 Marriage WebClass ❣️ Our NEW 30-Day Couples Challenge: Rebuilding US …and more! ALL LINKED HERE  
Your family is a source of support, love, and acceptance. Now there are certainly times that our perception of actions from family members make us forget those underlying intentions. Of course this can be even more true when you are interacting (or dealing with) your partner’s family members (your in-laws)!  There is always the grand idea that two sides of a family can come together and just magnify the sense of community, family, and support, but that doesn’t always happen. It can be common that each of your own families (and how you individually interact with them) can be a source of conflict, even between you and your partner. In this episode we dive into some of these sources of conflict and 5 particular patterns that you should avoid as to not make your partner out to be the bad guy with your family!   Relationship Resources:  It's April 1st, 2024 and we now have TWO 30-Day Couples Challenges that you can start!  1) The Prioritize Us Couples Challenge - daily activities to grow your love accounts  2) The Rebuilding Us Couples Challenge - daily prompts to repair and rebuild after a hard season. 
The basis of a strong marriage is how well you handle 3 “stages” of interactions. These 3 stages are before, during and after conflicts. The before stage is all about communication and being able to prevent conflicts from even happening. The during conflict stage is about de-escalating tensions and potential conflicts. The after stage is about how you repair when conflicts to happen (because they will) In this episode you will hear the tools you will need to master each of the 3 stages and putting them all together will make you feel unstoppable and confident that you can handle any challenge as a team.    This episode is our "audio version" of the webclass we just hosted. So be sure to watch the replay of the webclass while it’s still available. You can find it here on our Top Resources Page.  There you can also find the BRAND NEW ‘Level 2’ 30-Day Couples Challenge that is all about repairing and rebuilding from a hard season. This is the advanced “Rebuilding Us Couples Challenge”!
Emotional Intelligence (or lack thereof) can truthfully be a make it or break it factor for a marriage. It’s a big part of what helps you be connected, navigate hardship and disagreements, and embrace your differences. It’s also what can cause feelings of “walking on egg-shells” or be what escalates simple miscommunications into big conflicts. Yet nowadays this term can be used too conceptually, and you know we are all about making things useful and practical!  In this episode you’ll hear: 6 keys to Emotional Intelligence Examples of how these look in your marriage How to improve in each one Also, our LIVE Marriage WebClass is next week, March 25th! And we only host these two times a year, so get signed up here. (yes, it’s free!) Spots will be limited to 500, so make sure to join early for Communicating Constructively, De-escalating Conflicts, and Repairing Arguments webclass.   After March 25th, visit our resource link for the latest guides, courses, and events
You can’t build a strong marriage on a weak foundation. But do you know what the ingredients for a rock-solid foundation are? Well don’t worry, we’re covering that today and we’re certain this will open up some great conversations for you two. In this episode you’ll hear:  The 5 foundations to a strong marriage Specific examples so that you can have these conversations with your partner How these can help guide you when you disagree and/or encounter hard moments   Also, make sure you utilize our resources because we have a long waitlist for private sessions: Steps to Rebuild guide Prioritize Us 30-Day Couples Challenge      3. Making Up & Moving Forward guide
You don’t often “think about your own psychology”, life is just happening and you are responding. So when it comes to interactions with your partner, it's easy to defend yourself when your perspective is brought into question. The cycle continues when you go back and forth about who remembers events more accurately. Your perception and memory are all a part of your psychology. These are actually very complex cognitive functions that can  easily make errors and include bias you are not even aware of. In this episode we intend to share some of these errors and biases with the intent that you loosen the grip you have on being right and be willing to be more flexible with your own perception to bring more understanding into your marriage.   Resources For Your Relationship: 1. Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting April 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. 2. STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It’s the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it’s only $19.
From the thousands of coaching sessions, DMs, and emails that we receive, we tend to see themes come up in marriage. You would be surprised to learn how common certain topics are for couples, that all seem to come up in the same weeks and months. We are not here to hypothesize about why that is, but just make these themes known. This is the highly anticipated followup episode from last week’s on mistakes men are making. Lately we have been noticing themes around Women and mistakes they are making in marriage. These are not character flaws but just patterns of behavior that we see adding to the dynamics in marriage. Today you will hear from Jocelyn on this solo episode about the 3 mistakes women are making: Criticisms, Conclusions, Consistency   Resources For Your Relationship: 1. Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting March 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. 2. If the challenge start already passed, you can find all of our resoruces from guides, to courses, to coaching sessions with this link: Best Resources
From the thousands of coaching sessions, DMs, and emails that we receive, we tend to see themes come up in marriage. You would be surprised to learn how common certain topics are for couples, that all seem to come up in the same weeks and months. We are not here to hypothesize about why that is, but just make these themes known. Lately we have been noticing themes around men and mistakes they are making in marriage. These are not character flaws but just patterns of behavior that we see adding to the dynamics in marriage. Today you will hear from Aaron on this solo episode about the 3 mistakes men are making: Reserved, Responsibility, and Receptivity. If you are new to listening or just looking for where to go for the best relationship resources we have, you can find everything from simple conflict guides, webclasses, books, and dates for upcoming events here with out Resources Link.   
The scenario is that your partner makes a comment, you sense they are a little irritated. They may very well have a frustration but have expressed it with a mild (level 2) upset. Yet you are not in a conflict or argument. But as you talk back and forth, you start giving explanations and justifications and an early onset of defensiveness starts to create a divide. This is a critical moment where you could even say to each other “this doesn’t have to become a thing …” Often these moments are not handled properly and now it does turn into something. You have this energy between you and your partner that for many can cause you to go do your own separate things and even have you ruin/cancel plans you had together for the evening. We have heard this happens for date nights, and even Valentine's Day plans, which happens to be tomorrow from when this podcast came out.  This episode is about how to discern between tension and a true issue in marriage with 5 actions to take to “bounce back” faster.   Resources: Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Feb 14th, 2024 for Valentines Day - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. Find all our other guides and resources here on our website resources page
What is the bare minimum to expect in a marriage? You likely read that question and think about your expectations about your partner… However this is actually about what to expect from yourself!  There are a lot of social media comments on relationship posts that judge the portrayal of a partner. That shows that most people think about what changes a partner needs to make in order to better meet one’s own needs. But that is quite backward. In this episode you will hear 6 traits that are the bare minimum to expect within yourself if you want to be a good partner. Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Feb 14th, 2024 for Valentines Day - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. Find all our other guides and resources here on our website resources page
You have heard about the "7 Year Itch" in a marriage. Though that was the name of a Marilyn Monroe movie in 1955, studies have shown that a couples satisfaction in marriage hits a low around 10 years into a marriage. Whether you’ve been together 2 years, 10 years, or 30+ years, you’ll get a lot out of this episode by understanding what couples lose sight of and causes an increase of dissatisfaction.  We dive into: What the studies say about the “peak of dissatisfaction” being around year 10 together The actions that lead a couple to these rough patches What to do about it so you two can stay satisfied or boost it up, no matter how long you’ve been together.  As you listen, make sure you join our upcoming 30-Day Couples Challenge here.
Are attachment styles fixed? This is the essence of all the questions and messages we received after last week’s episode on attachment style, behaviors, and needs. This required a Part 2 episode this week where you will hear how to overcome your avoidant or anxious style pasts and tendencies.  Not only is attachment style not fixed, it’s a range, and can be very situational. You may have created a secure relationship experience for both of you, but circumstances and your environment can have you fall back into insecure behaviors that remind you of your past. Today we share more of our own back stories of being anxious and avoidant, how those would creep back in over the years, and 5 ways to move yourselves back into that secure attachment experience you are used to operating in together!   Resources:  Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Feb 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.   P.S. - you also get the Family Meeting Guide as a bonus for start the Couples Challenge! 
Attachment is a key term and principle for relationships and refers to the way in which you bond and connect with your partner. The theory of Attachment Style has become much more popular in recent years from its conception by John Bowlby in 1969. Though many are familiar with the Secure and Insecure categorizations and the insecure types of avoidant, anxious, and fearful; people are not so familiar with the attachment needs and behaviors that are as critical.  All of this as a theory can feel very conceptual so in this episode you will hear even more depth about the attachment needs, and behaviors so that you can take more practical action to move in the direction of a secure relationship experience. Even if you are securely attached with your partner you will hear how to maintain this on a range of relationship confidence and trust.   Also, utilize our resources to put this into practice: The Family Meeting guide and tempaltes. The Steps to Rebuild a Marriage guide      3. All of our resources are here.
What is Love in a very practical sense? We hear people say “we fell in love” or “we fell out of love”... so what is causing this experience of love? Or why do couples start to feel more like roommates? As the years pass, it can be easier to fall into what is called “empty love” or “friendship love” and miss the 3rd element of love that we all crave. So dive into today’s episode where you’ll hear: The 3 components of love Variations of relationships that have one or 2 components but are missing the 3rd How to maintain “complete love” encompassing all 3 components   Also, utilize our resources to put this into practice: Our "Prioritize Us" 30-Day Couples Challenge is open for just a couple more days. The Family Meeting guide for weekly, quarterly, and yearly check-ins      3. Or see all of our resources are here (including in-person events & coaching)
The one thing that the beginning of a year allows you to do is draw a clear line in the sand. It’s a psychological distinction to review your last 12 months and see how well you executed on your game plan. Some do this for work, for individual achievements, as sports teams, and it is very powerful to do for your marriage.  In this episode you will hear how to go through a Yearly Check-in to start off your new year. This will allow you to reestablish your core values, set your vision and goals, and remove any old distractions and barriers that didn’t serve you from the previous year.   Resources For Your Relationship: Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. PLUS you get the Family Meeting Guide as a Bonus FAMILY MEETING GUIDE: The  step-by-step guide to having your family meeting, with templates for weekly, quarterly, and the yearly meetings. This is the Family Meeting Guide from the episode and it’s only $19.
Parenting definitely shifts priorities, but that shouldn’t mean we de-prioritize our marriage, right? This week was our daughter’s 2nd birthday and we were reflecting on our own parenting journey up until this point. We know from many couples that parenting really does shift many things in a marriage, even studies have shown that satisfaction goes down in the first 5 years of becoming parents. Though there are so many great positives that also come with being a parent, in this episode you will hear about the challenges that we have faced in the first 2 years, the common challenges other parents face, and the steps to take to better handle these challenges. All so that they do not negatively impact your marriage and you can focus more on all the benefits of being a parent and a great partner.   Resources For Your Relationship: Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It’s the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it’s only $19.
If you have listened to the podcast at all you probably have thought “Yes, I get the importance of validating my partner but HOW exactly do I do that?” Even if this is your first time listening you likely have the same question about how to have your partner feel validated in their experience especially when you do not agree with their feelings or details of an event!  Validating a partner is a difficult thing to do because you will not always see (or experience) events the same way. You also might feel as if they are blaming you for how they feel, which makes it more difficult to validate because it seems you have to take the blame. In this episode you will hear 7 easy actions to take to have your partner feel validated but also understand the real importance of validation on positive influence!   Resources For Your Relationship: Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It’s the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it’s only $19.
All Work & No Play Makes For A Dull Marriage. If you’re like most of the couples we talk to, you’ve been working at overcoming patterns and challenges that have kept you stuck and in frustrating cycles. Many couples even say, “I’m so exhausted” or “When do we get back to more fun times?” If you have ever seen the movie Moneyball, it’s just clicking in a few key aspects so that you can get on a winning streak! In this episode you will hear a brief answer for why you might feel like you’re on a losing streak, but how you can use the same ideas to turn it into a winning streak. Then we give you categories that you can take an action in to keep the positive momentum going.   Resources For Your Relationship: 1)Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2023 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. 2)STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It’s the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it’s only $19.    
We were not going to leave the men out from last week’s episode about what women need in a marriage. This episode is about what men need that is often overshadowed and not expressed. Just so you know, the answer is not going to be sex… we have our own issue with accounts that tote sex as men’s only need in a marriage (but you will hear that in the episode)! In this episode you will hear about the need of Harmony and how that is a key need for men, even if they would not have said it that way. You will hear 5 pathways to practically move into more harmony and how to have men’s underlying needs in this area be met so that each of you can be more fulfilled in both the short and long term!   Relationship Resources: STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It’s the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it’s only $19.
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Comments (1)

Laura Geiger Cowley

I enjoy listening to this brief and succinct podcast because they really do give relatable, distinct, applicable tips and tricks for relationships. it's not over generalized and they have relatable experiences that go with their tips. They balance the positives and don't shy away from the hard times in marriage.

Sep 21st
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