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EmPowered Couples with The Freemans

Author: Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman

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This podcast is all about Couples and the 3C’s: Communication, Conflict, Connection. These are not skills you automatically have when you get into a relationship, but that need to be developed to overcome the inevitable challenges that will come up. Couples who listen to the podcast say, “are they watching us?!” because of how extremely relatable and practical to your day-to-day life together these topics are! Hosts Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman are authors of The Argument Hangover and their programs and workshops have reached over a million people. They are parents to baby Skye Noël and live in Phoenix, Arizona.
353 Episodes
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The success of your life and marriage isn’t as much about the things that happen to you, but how well you can course-correct. This goes for bigger life decisions about where to live, send your kids to school, and where to spend money. As well as the amount of time to pass before initiating repair after a conflict, the attitude you wake up with, and even the thoughts you let your mind focus on.  So then what does “course-correcting” actually look like in regard to these decisions? That is exactly what you will hear in the episode. You are going to hear 4 questions to ask yourselves that will help you to determine whether you are on path or off path, which greatly impacts your satisfaction in your life and marriage together. (So yes it’s pretty important!)   Relationship Resources Mentioned   The Level 1 “Prioritizing Us” 30-Day Couples Challenge (you get the popular Family Meeting guide as a bonus gift with this) The Level 2 “Rebuilding Us” 30-Day Couples Challenge (repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage)   Additional Guides - https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
Whether you’ve been in a funk as a couple, or things have just felt pretty routine with your “adulting” responsibilities, this episode will help you SPARK more fun together! The truth is, life is short. And we don’t believe we’re meant to just let the weeks pass by and survive our busy schedule. Of course there are challenging days (and you hear us talk about that), but let’s enter into a season of more fulfillment, connection, and play together. You will hear 5 very tangible and actionable ways to spark more fun together, so dive on in! We often hear couples say, “we get inspired and motivated to create these changes for a few days, and then we forget or get off track.” And that’s exactly why we created the 30-Day Couples Challenge!   Relationship Resources (pick between):  Level 1: “Prioritizing Us” is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun Love Deposit ideas. LINKED HERE - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/ Level 2: “Rebuilding Us” is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE -  https://mycoupleschallenge.com/rebuilding
Talk about things before they become a bigger issue. On our vacation with family, I brought up the topic of intimacy (physical specifically) and it sparked a great conversation between us. Now for many this could be a conversation that isn’t brought up and turns into a bigger issue later. This is when it can turn into a “weed” that impacts your marriage. Or it could be a conversation that causes defensiveness and conflict. Neither of these are positive options.  You see, we want to talk about how we’re feeling and what we want BEFORE it starts to affect  you and the connection, trust, or openness you have with your partner.  In this episode you will hear us discuss: What’s a “seed” in the relationship vs a “weed” What happens when we don’t discuss things soon enough How to think about bringing these things up and making it a productive conversation   Relationship Resources: The Level 1 “Prioritizing Us” 30-Day Couples Challenge (you get the popular Family Meeting guide as a bonus gift with this) The Level 2 “Rebuilding Us” 30-Day Couples Challenge (repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage)
You’ve likely heard of the now popular Attachment Theory about having a secure, safe, trusting, and connected relationship. If you have, likely what you’ve seen is quite conceptual and you are not sure how to use the information. If you have not heard of this theory it simply describes how you connect and bond with a partner and how that was influenced by your parents (or primary caregiver) as well as other romantic relationships you have been in (primary attachment figures). For us Attachment Theory has become so popular online, rightfully so, but without the right experts describing how to use this theory to make a difference in your own relationship, or how to actually change your style. In this episode you will hear from Attachment Theory expert, counselor, PhD, author, and founder of Personal Development School, Thais Gibson! You will hear her cover: The 4 Attachment Styles (quickly) The 5 Pillars and traits of each style How to reprogram your conscious mind (where attachment needs and behaviors come from) with tools like autosuggestion to change your style   Relationship Resources Take the FREE Quiz to determine your Attachment Style: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/quiz Learn more from the Personal Development School:  https://university.personaldevelopmentschool.com/  Join our 30-Day Couples Challenges (level 1 or 2) starting July 1st, 2024 https://www.meetthefreemans.com/challenges
Many communications between couples can cause misunderstandings. This leads to more expectations and further frustrations and upsets. Then these upsets can turn into conflicts. Though it seems simple to just “listen better”, listening is not the same as hearing.  Listening is the requirement for understanding, but even then, it does not guarantee complete and accurate understanding of what was actually meant by your partner.  Though much of this has to do with the listener's role, there is also much to say about the speaker and how they deliver the message so as to not create mistranslations.    In this episode you will hear: Mistakes the speaker makes Mistakes the listener makes 5 tips for more productive conversations  Plus the psychology principles that can prevent communications from being misunderstood or turning into conflicts.   Relationship Resources: 1) Join the upcoming 30-Day Couples Challenge “Prioritizing Us”, proven to improve your interactions, help you understand each other more, strengthen your connection, and fill your Love Accounts. https://mycoupleschallenge.com/ 2) For links to our top resources and guides: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
“I’m sorry” - 2 little words that can not only be challenging for some partners to say, but also can mean MANY different things.  So in today’s episode we cover: Several specific reasons apologizing can be harder for some (self-awareness) Why couples can battle over whether the ‘I’m sorry’ is deemed “necessary” The different meanings of “I’m sorry” and how to expand your language for more things to say in these moments How to get better at apologizing, big or small We encourage BOTH of you to listen to this episode and talk about how you can both be better. Because these little moments truly can strengthen your bond or erode your ability to respect each other. We know, strong statement, but respect is tied to this.  As you listen, make sure you get our popular Making Up & Moving Forward guide. These repair steps prevent re-triggering a conflict, having to re-hash the details, and ensures you both feel resolved.
“How do I get my partner to _____?” This is one of the most common questions we get. Obviously this is referring to wanting a partner to change a behavior in a certain area of the relationship. Underneath that question is the real question of “what is going to motivate my partner?”  If you have ever had this experience of wanting your partner to change something, but they didn’t, you likely felt discouraged or even burnt out. This was likely because you have been asking for things to change for some time now, but nothing did.  In this episode you will hear about the process of motivation and being able to achieve a result you have been wanting to have in your relationship. You will get the 6 steps of the decision making process and how to overcome the motivation threshold so that you do not feel that same burnout or discouragement from not seeing a change happen. In the end you will realize there was something even better for you than the goal you initially set out to achieve!    Relationship Resources: 1) For use in your "Evaluation Step" from the episode, here is the link to the Family Meeting Guide - https://thecouplesexperience.com/family 2) Start the level 1 Prioritizing Us 30-Day Couples Challenge and get the Family Meeting guide as a free bonus. - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/ 3) Start the level 2 Rebuiulding Us Couples Challenge - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/rebuilding
We said to several couples last week: “The ultimate sign of a secure marriage is knowing that even if one of you says something at the wrong time, in the wrong way, or with the wrong tone, the other person will be responsible for their reaction.” And this is the ultimate goal for so many couples.  So dive in today as we cover: The 4 D’s that derail conversations and destroy your connection 3 strategies for being responsible for your reactions Further understanding of the brain so you don’t act from 2 of them in unproductive ways.    As you listen, get 2 of our popular guides: De-escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions HERE Making Up & Moving Forward (repair steps after conflicts) HERE
Do you know what you need in your relationship? Whether you do or not right in this moment, knowing what you need is certainly a requirement for being able to communicate and act to fulfill it. This is the basis for having a satisfying relationship.  In this episode we go deeper into explaining our process for effectively communicating your needs and what being assertive really means. But you will also have a new perspective on whether you really know what you need or not. It is not as simple as you think.   Relationship Resources: Both of the 30 Day Couples Challenges start on Jne 1st.  The Level 1 - Prioritizing Us Challenge The Level 2 - Rebuilding Us Challenge
Can you count on each other completely? Not with just the BIG things, but also with the small daily things in your life? Building and living a great life with each other is only possible if you can count on, TRUST, each other. When you see the word “trust” it’s easy to think of big things around feeling physically safe or being truthful in what you say. But this conversation gets way more into your day-to-day experiences that either lead to doubting each other and losing trust or increasing the reliability and foundational confidence you have no matter what comes up.  Being attracted to each other, feeling connected, being intimate, and having fun together, is only possible if you can COUNT on each other as partners and that you each are operating as people of integrity to these 4 things…   Relationship Resources: It is the last week to attend the in person Couples Workshop with us in Arizona on May 26th. Check out the details and reserve your seats here: http://thecouplesworkshop.com   If that date is past, or you are looking for immediate resrouces, like the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide: you can see all the resoruces here.
Which of these 7 stages of marriage are you two in right now? Knowing this not only gives you perspective about navigating your current season, but also what’s ahead of you in the bigger picture of being married for many years.  It is unrealistic to think that every season of marriage should be the same, or will be in the same order as another couple’s. But also, we should be able to navigate some of the harder stages more quickly so they don’t last too long or rob us of joy and fulfillment in living life together.  RELATIONSHIP RESOURCES: Meet us in-person at The Couples Workshop in Arizona at the end of May. Start the Prioritize Us 30-Day Couples Challenge and see why over 25,000 couples have loved these prompts! 
We all want some degree of change in our lives, and our relationships. So long as they are the changes we want! Change can be difficult if it brings about a lot of unknown, or if the change you desire requires your partner to change some of their behavior.  But what is it that creates change and how do you get the results that you really want? In this episode we outline the drives and motivations behind creating change and the one foundational element that you must be able to identify if any real change is going to happen, let alone last!   Relationship Resources - May 26th, 2024 is The Couples Workshop in Arizona. If you have been wanting to join us in person for this 1/2 day event to create positive change in your communiation and conflict resolution, save your seat today! Make this a little vacation/reset for both of you.  - If the May workshop is past, make sure to check out which online resource is best for the change you are looking to make: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links 
Building connection (and closeness) with your partner is fundamental to having a happy and satisfying relationship. Yet it’s the first thing that takes a back seat when you are busy, stressed, or just in the routine of your life.  Yes, maintaining connection takes effort. If you thought you could be in a marriage without effort, someone needs to inform your partner! But it doesn’t need to be extravagant or just be when you have time for date nights. In this episode you will hear 3 ways to build and maintain connection in your everyday life, so that your long-term life can be satisfying for both of you! Relationship Resources The next round of 30 Day Couples Challenges start May 1st. Now we have the level 1, prioritizing Us, and the level 2, Rebuilding Us challenges. You can see the details of both of them at our main weblink here: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links 
The last 2 years could have torn us apart and made us turn against each other. It felt like life was throwing everything at us at once, all while we had a newborn baby. In this episode, you’ll hear: Our personal journey of what trials we faced over the last 2 years How exactly we triumphed after these challenges and got stronger than EVER What social psychology says about overcoming stressors and adversity 4 areas of wisdom to guide you through anything you face as a couple As you listen, make sure you also get signed up for one of our 30-Day Couples Challenges:   The Level 1 ‘Prioritizing Us’ Challenge focuses on filling your Love Accounts, improving your communication, and strengthens your connection. The Level 2 ‘Rebuilding Us’ Challenge focuses on repairing and rebuilding the foundation of your partnership after being in a harder season of marriage.
Who's to blame for your frustrating problems and patterns in your relationship? It's obviously your partner, right... they're the problem. No… blaming them doesn't get you anywhere, in fact it makes things worse and more difficult to get out of.  If there's one thing that is inarguable in social psychology it's that relationships are bi-directional.Meaning, your attitude, actions, and choices affect your partner's attitude, actions, and choices, and vice versa. Unfortunately many couples stay stuck in frustrating cycles or without a solution because they aren't in a problem-solving state. If you truly operate as a team and dive a little deeper into WHY you keep encountering this frustrating pattern, you can overcome it together.   In this episode you’ll hear a deep-dive into: The 5 root causes of most marriage problems/issues 4 self-reflective questions to ask yourself to identify your partner in the situation  Understanding more about a psychology approach to effective problem solving   Use this link to join the mentioned Rebuilding Us 30-Day Couples Challenge (level 2).  Or for other resources, link on our general website link. 
There are disagreements in your relationship, and then there are Power Struggles! These power struggles are more detrimental and have deeper rooted contributing factors. They keep you from being the best team possible and being able to come up with mutually beneficial solutions for your family. In today’s episode we dive into: How to define a power struggle The goal of interdependence, rather than co-dependence or independence  Contributing factors to being in a power struggle Communication skills to be more collaborative + harmonious    Dive into our Relationship Resources: 📔 Family Meeting guide 💻 Marriage WebClass ❣️ Our NEW 30-Day Couples Challenge: Rebuilding US …and more! ALL LINKED HERE  
Your family is a source of support, love, and acceptance. Now there are certainly times that our perception of actions from family members make us forget those underlying intentions. Of course this can be even more true when you are interacting (or dealing with) your partner’s family members (your in-laws)!  There is always the grand idea that two sides of a family can come together and just magnify the sense of community, family, and support, but that doesn’t always happen. It can be common that each of your own families (and how you individually interact with them) can be a source of conflict, even between you and your partner. In this episode we dive into some of these sources of conflict and 5 particular patterns that you should avoid as to not make your partner out to be the bad guy with your family!   Relationship Resources:  It's April 1st, 2024 and we now have TWO 30-Day Couples Challenges that you can start!  1) The Prioritize Us Couples Challenge - daily activities to grow your love accounts  2) The Rebuilding Us Couples Challenge - daily prompts to repair and rebuild after a hard season. 
The basis of a strong marriage is how well you handle 3 “stages” of interactions. These 3 stages are before, during and after conflicts. The before stage is all about communication and being able to prevent conflicts from even happening. The during conflict stage is about de-escalating tensions and potential conflicts. The after stage is about how you repair when conflicts to happen (because they will) In this episode you will hear the tools you will need to master each of the 3 stages and putting them all together will make you feel unstoppable and confident that you can handle any challenge as a team.    This episode is our "audio version" of the webclass we just hosted. So be sure to watch the replay of the webclass while it’s still available. You can find it here on our Top Resources Page.  There you can also find the BRAND NEW ‘Level 2’ 30-Day Couples Challenge that is all about repairing and rebuilding from a hard season. This is the advanced “Rebuilding Us Couples Challenge”!
Emotional Intelligence (or lack thereof) can truthfully be a make it or break it factor for a marriage. It’s a big part of what helps you be connected, navigate hardship and disagreements, and embrace your differences. It’s also what can cause feelings of “walking on egg-shells” or be what escalates simple miscommunications into big conflicts. Yet nowadays this term can be used too conceptually, and you know we are all about making things useful and practical!  In this episode you’ll hear: 6 keys to Emotional Intelligence Examples of how these look in your marriage How to improve in each one Also, our LIVE Marriage WebClass is next week, March 25th! And we only host these two times a year, so get signed up here. (yes, it’s free!) Spots will be limited to 500, so make sure to join early for Communicating Constructively, De-escalating Conflicts, and Repairing Arguments webclass.   After March 25th, visit our resource link for the latest guides, courses, and events
You can’t build a strong marriage on a weak foundation. But do you know what the ingredients for a rock-solid foundation are? Well don’t worry, we’re covering that today and we’re certain this will open up some great conversations for you two. In this episode you’ll hear:  The 5 foundations to a strong marriage Specific examples so that you can have these conversations with your partner How these can help guide you when you disagree and/or encounter hard moments   Also, make sure you utilize our resources because we have a long waitlist for private sessions: Steps to Rebuild guide Prioritize Us 30-Day Couples Challenge      3. Making Up & Moving Forward guide
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Comments (1)

Laura Geiger Cowley

I enjoy listening to this brief and succinct podcast because they really do give relatable, distinct, applicable tips and tricks for relationships. it's not over generalized and they have relatable experiences that go with their tips. They balance the positives and don't shy away from the hard times in marriage.

Sep 21st
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