Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

Living in uncertainty can lead to a sense of languishing. How do we wake up from this feeling? Katherine May has written gorgeous books like Wintering and Enchantment that help us better understand how to live wide-awake to the world around us.  In this conversation, Kate and Katherine discuss:  How we move from languishing to enchantment Why we need community more now than maybe ever Why we both hate gratitude journals   Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything   Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bozoma Saint John is a successful marketing executive, but she is also a woman who knows the rollercoaster of profound love and deep loss. She shares her hard-won wisdom and complicated grief as she faced her husband’s terminal cancer diagnosis.  In this conversation, Kate and Bozoma:  Give us permission to tell the whole truth (even when it isn’t a neat) Speak honestly about the complicated realities of caregiving  Discuss how our roles change within families from daughter to parent or spouse to caregiver Describe anticipatory grief  CW: adult language, death of a child during pregnancy, death of a spouse   Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything   Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this conversation, Kate and Anna discuss: How conversations might engender the intimacy we need to get by Fostering the right interpersonal and listening skills it takes to approach a difficult topic (especially when you’re feeling nervous) Best practices for responding to someone’s hard news How learning to listen might bridge differences of all kinds What do we lose when we don’t talk about hard things? And what might we gain if we do? Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Comedian Iliza Shlesinger is refreshingly candid, especially about things many women can relate to, like the sheer exhaustion that comes from juggling life's demands (dare we say, it's like a badge of honor?), pregnancy loss—a topic that often remains in the shadows, and how our accounts of self-care really go off the rails when bubble baths become the solution to all of life’s problems.  In this conversation, Kate and Iliza address:  A plan to make laughter a national healthcare plan (just kidding) How comedy connects us with one another Redefining self-care into something a little more practical This conversation is brought to you by Aspen Ideas: Health and was recorded on location in Aspen, CO. CW: miscarriage   Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything   Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you think about faith and hope when your prayers aren’t answered? What about when they are?  Steph and her husband, Rivs, have the kind of story you might see in a blockbuster movie. Rivs was a professional endurance athlete who was suddenly put on life support with a mysterious lung disease. But then a confluence of shocking events occurred to get him the care he needed to survive. Steph grew up as part of the Church of Latter Day Saints, a faith that believed that if she prayed hard enough, miracles would happen. But then her dad died when she was 14. So how does she understand faith and hope and miracles after Rivs' survival?  In this conversation, Kate and Steph discuss:     How do you talk to kids honestly about life and death and hope?     How pain is a conduit for empathy      How to allow things to just suck and not feel pressure to find any brightsides     How to think about faith, hope, and miracles without idolizing certainty  Steph is someone who knows intimately that life sometimes just happens and that we have to learn to live alongside all of that pain and that joy and that love that somehow coexists. CW: cancer, death of a parent Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Don’t Waste Your Life. Savor Every Moment. Live in the Present.  Culture has a lot of prescriptions for how to live a good life. But what if we don’t know where to start? Writer and researcher Catherine Price started to notice how much time she was spending on her phone and how the habit was sucking joy from her life. Instead, she wanted to learn how to have fun again. What is fun? How do you have it? Can you become a more fun person? Catherine debunks the myths around what it means to have fun—especially when we think we’re too tired, too careworn, or too old—and gives us a little homework to start today.  In this conversation, Kate and Catherine discuss:  How to break up with your phone (and why we turn to our phones in the first place) How to create more opportunities for fun in the midst of regular days and too-full lives The simple practice Catherine uses to bring more joy to her days   Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything   Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Margaret Renkl calls herself a backyard naturalist—but not because she has any particular expertise. From the birds in her yard to the bugs in her flower beds, she has learned the art of attention. Nature has taught her a speed at which to live, to hope, to stave off despair.  In this conversation, Kate and Margaret discuss:         What we miss when we imagine we have to drive somewhere else to experience nature, instead of noticing it around us         What birds teach us about what means to be a good mother         How to learn to love even the mosquitoes and wasps         Where Margaret experiences moments of holiness         How we might all start to be besotted by beauty Perhaps, we can borrow some of Margaret’s innate curiosity together and see how it might open us up to wonder and love and connectedness once again.    Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything   Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We may think we understand people. Where they are coming from. Why they act the way they act. … But what if we’re wrong?  New York Times columnist David Brooks’ family motto was “Think Yiddish, Act British.” He knew how to keep a tight lid on his emotions, which could be useful… until he realized that he would need to learn a lot more about the role of empathy to love the people around him. Now, he’s sharing the result of his curiosity on how we might get better at really knowing people. Perhaps that simple skill can help combat the loneliness, despair, and the divides in our social fabric. In this conversation, Kate and David discuss:  How to love people with severe depression How to see people as beloved children of God Practicing intimacy and empathy The difference between illuminators and diminishers CW: suicide   Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything   Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So many of us have experienced a before… and an after.  My friend, the lovely writer Clover Stroud, had her before and after at a young age. When she was 16, her mom was in a horse-riding accident and suffered a serious brain injury that left her severely disabled until she died… 22 years later. The suddenness of that accident layered with the ongoingness of that level of caregiving bonded Clover and her big sister, Nell in remarkable ways.  Then, Nell unexpectedly died.  The grief of losing her sister is captured in Clover’s beautiful book, The Red of My Blood—a book that captures the visceral feelings of grief. The pain. The beauty. The staying wide awake to the life that’s in front of us despite it all. The “how do I go on parenting with all this grief?” The “give me a sign” feeling we crave when our loved ones are gone. In this conversation, Kate and Clover discuss:  Kids who have to grow up too fast due to tragedy and who we become because of it How some people have to live in ongoing trauma or extended grief due to caregiving or chronic illness The unexpected glimmers of beauty that can sustain us amid the ache of loss Why we need rituals to hold us together during deep grief Kate went to visit Clover at her farm outside of Oxford in England to talk about the things in our lives that almost destroy us but also form us in some remarkable ways too.  CW: cancer, traumatic brain injury, horse accident, death of a sibling Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Scripture can become a weapon in the hands of the ultra-certain. As if every pain or suffering is part of “God’s divine plan.” So how should we understand and apply the Bible to our real lives with our real-life problems?  NT Wright, a New Testament scholar, is a trusted expert to help us understand what truths resound across time and circumstance and which don’t. In this conversation, Kate and Tom dig in especially on Romans 8:28 which is the Pauline version of EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Is that what Paul intended to say? Is there maybe another, more life-giving way to interpret it instead?  Kate and NT Wright also discuss: The importance of lament as a response to the human condition Why we have such a low tolerance for uncertainty Which scripture to turn to when life comes apart (and which to avoid)  What our response should be to others who are in pain or experiencing tragedy This is a bit of a Bible-nerd out, but I would trust no one else to help us better make sense of where is God when we’re suffering than NT Wright.  Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you sustain a life of service…especially when your job costs you something? Angela Williams has dedicated her life to advocating for others. She joined the military. She became a lawyer. She became a minister. Wait, now she runs one of the largest service organizations in the world, the United Way, as its CEO? Incredible.  But what’s behind all this is a story about service. About what it takes to stay in the long, slow work of community. You will believe when she says that it’s hard…and it’s good. At the same time.  In this conversation, Kate and Angela discuss:  Why we need community now more than ever The case for interdependence and why it's so important to give up on individualism  How to sustain a life of service (hint: it has something to do with joy) CW: cancer, caregiving Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does it really mean to “survive” when what you survive… lingers? Emi Nietfeld went from being homeless to graduating from Harvard. But the rags-to-riches story isn’t ever completely true. It skips over the hardest parts—complicated families, long-term trauma on brains and bodies, the ways we wish we could go back and undo what has been done.   This is an incredible story about resilience—what it is, and what it isn’t. You’re going to love the way she talks about the power of her efforts. And the ways she learned to get back up, but should have never had to.  In this conversation, Emi and Kate discuss:  the cost of resilience the downsides of relying on the individual therapeutic to solve every problem (and why we should be looking for ways to create systemic or family solutions too) how hope and ambition can pull you toward a future the complexities of navigating the value of success when weighed against the lasting impact of trauma Emi carefully interrogates what it really means to “overcome” anything. It makes us all feel less alone when we can say, honestly, that some things can be conquered and some things conquer us.  CW: brief mentions of suicidal ideation, eating disorders, self-harm, adverse childhood, hoarding, trans issues Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How hard is it to be a parent today? After a pandemic? With social media breathing down our necks? It’s so hard! Navigating the delicate balance between granting independence and providing guidance can be daunting as a parent.  Dr. Lisa Damour (New York Times bestselling author of The Emotional Lives of Teenagers) has dedicated her life to unraveling the intricacies of adolescence and offering practical, heartfelt advice. In this conversation, Lisa and Kate: offer a more reassuring definition of mental health (hint: it’s about having the right-sized feelings that fit the situation at hand and managing those feelings effectively).  emphasize the importance of being a steady presence in kids’ lives, as well as offer scripts to try with your own teenager give language to what parents might be feeling if they missed this kind of parenting themselves  CW: Mental Health awareness  *** Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Comedians have the ability to be unsparingly honest in ways that buck all cultural norms. It’s a truth-telling that so many of us crave.  Cue Rob Delaney.  Rob is a comedian, actor, writer, and director. His memoir, A Heart That Works is an unsparing account of the death of his beautiful son, Henry. Rob lives in London with his family where Kate visited him for this honest and hilarious conversation.  Kate and Rob discuss: The importance of finding people who really understand what you’re feeling What not to say to people whose kids have died How tragic loss exiles you to a planet where only those who understand grief live The ways we hope grief metabolizes in us and transforms us into empathetic, heart-open kinds of people Rob wants us all to understand that if the unthinkable happens, our hearts still beat so strong in truth and love.  CW: hard-earned explicit language of a bereaved parent, death of parent, Suicide, death of a child *** Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The TODAY Show’s Jenna Bush Hager sits down for a wide-ranging conversation with Kate Bowler. Together, they share about the importance of family and intergenerational relationships (Jenna shares such tender stories about her grandparents), how they hope to let their kids make mistakes and be met with grace, and how they both (try to) find beauty in ordinary, regular days and regular problems.  In this conversation, Kate and Jenna discuss: How to model openness and empathy across difference (even when people really, really disagree) Why they want to raise their kids to be curious and independent How the love of others makes us brave—brave enough to make mistakes (and why that’s okay) Kate visited Jenna in New York City for this conversation. And Jenna is just as lovely and generous of spirit as you’d imagine. CW: fertility issues; Alzheimer’s  Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here. Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you living your best life now? Not always? GREAT, ME NEITHER.  My name is Kate Bowler. I’m a professor, speaker, podcast host and New York Times bestselling author. Which makes it sound like I believe in living your “best life.” Don’t worry—I don’t.  I study the stories we tell about success and failure, suffering and happiness. And hobbies are wasted on me because I’d rather be talking to funny and wise people about how to live with the knowledge that, well, everything happens.  A new season of *fantastic* conversation starts on September 5th.  Mark your calendar. Make sure you’re subscribed. You won’t want to miss this.  EVERYTHING HAPPENS is available everywhere you get your podcasts.  ***Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or (what was formally known as) Twitter. And be sure to subscribe to our email to receive behind-the-scenes updates.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you live knowing life can just come undone at a moment’s notice? In the span of a few months, Tig Notaro received three life-threatening illnesses, unexpectedly lost her mom, and went through a breakup. Tig is a brilliant comedian whose real life informs her comedy and has a lot to teach us about living honestly in the face of reality. In this conversation, Kate and Tig discuss:  Tig’s “hands-off” parents and her journey of self-discovery, eventually uncovering her talents in the entertainment industry and making her a respected figure in comedy How Tig Notaro's family of “real characters,” served as an abundant source of comedic inspiration in her life (including the best graveyard story ever) How to live alongside fear of what you know could actually happen? CW: cancer, death of parent***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What makes a good life? How would you answer that question? Not just life in the abstract… but what makes YOUR life good? Professor Miroslav Volf teaches a popular class at Yale University which guides students through these kinds of questions and might help us all think a little more deeply about what our lives are adding up to be.In this conversation, Kate and Miroslav discuss:   Why just practicing the habits of a good life doesn’t make a life meaningful (hint: we need to be thinking about the ends) Importance of asking questions we don’t always have the answers to How to define joy What does flourishing look like when we feel like we’re “losing”  How joy and suffering can coexist  On a personal note, this is a special interview for Kate because Miroslav was also her professor at Yale and someone she looks up to with joy and admiration.***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our most precious relationships are often our most complicated, aren’t they? Poet and bestselling author Kwame Alexander wrote an honest book of poems and essays that name the difficult and beautiful and heart-wrenching conversations we have (or should be having) with the people we love and with the ones who love us. In this conversation, Kwame and Kate discuss:  How we can’t outrun our grief How our own parents love us in the ways they want to be loved, but maybe not in the ways we need—and how we find our ways back to each other The desire to share with our kids how we love, where we fail, where we tried, and who we were before we were their parent  CW: death of parent, divorce***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do we stay soft in a world that has taught us to be tough? Actress Minka Kelly is known for her roles as Lyla Garrity on Friday Night Lights or as Samantha in HBO’s Euphoria. Despite her fame on the big screen, one might not realize the chaos that surrounded her childhood. Being raised by a single mom who worked as a stripper and struggled with addiction, Minka had to learn how to take care of herself and the adults around her, and, eventually, to forgive her mom. In this tender conversation, Kate and Minka discuss: How we can be built from the outside in through our friendships and how our friends become our chosen family How anger tells us that a boundary has been crossed The unfinished ways people love us—reconciling our complicated childhoods with the love we feel for each another How Minka has processed her difficult childhood through a lens of love and grace The way Minka’s mom was changed by her cancer diagnosis, and how once they found their way to one another again, there could never, ever be enough time  CW: colon cancer, death of a parent, brief mentions of abuse and neglect***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.