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Fail Better with David Duchovny
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Fail Better with David Duchovny

Author: Lemonada Media

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To be human is to fail – period. And not just to fail once, but to fail a lot. As the author Samuel Beckett said: “Fail again. Fail better.” This saying means a lot to me and my family – so much so that my daughter got a tattoo of it. Why are we, and so many others, so deeply concerned by failure? And if it’s something we all do so often, why are we so afraid of it – especially those of us here in win-at-all-costs America? In this podcast, I sit down with successful, thoughtful people like Ben Stiller, Bette Midler, Sean Penn and more to talk about failure – or what they labeled “failure,” but what was really an unparalleled opportunity for growth and revelation. I even want to delve into my own hardest moments, when I wrestled with setbacks, shame, and fear. We’ll still fail again. And again. But maybe if we fail better, we’ll feel better -- and maybe if we can all laugh together in failure, that's a start.

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This week I’m excited to tell you about My So-Called Midlife, a new podcast by Reshma Saujani and Lemonada Media. “Is this it?” That’s the question that host Reshma Saujani asks herself daily. She’s the founder of two successful nonprofits, she’s married to a great guy, and she’s raising two beautiful children. She’s gotten everything she’s ever wanted — so why does she feel so unsatisfied with midlife? She’s determined to figure it out, and with the strength of her group chat behind her, she’s calling in reinforcements. Through conversations with Chelsea Clinton, Emily Oster, Cheryl Strayed, and more, Reshma’s on a mission to help figure out how to stop trying to just get through this time of life… and actually start living it. Here’s a recent episode of My So-Called Midlife. Listen as Reshma chats with her friend, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, about how to stay present while balancing kids, a marriage and the highest of high-pressure jobs. Hear the rest of My So-Called Midlife wherever you get your podcasts, or head to https://lemonada.lnk.to/mysocalledmidlifefd Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jia Tolentino has the internet to thank for some of her biggest successes. In the 2000s, it offered her connections beyond her strict religious community and gave her a place to share her writing with her millennial peers. Her “online” insights carved out a niche at The New Yorker, and her 2019 essay collection, Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion, made a big splash with readers who felt similarly mired in digital disillusion. But these days she’s swearing off social media and seeking out the sublime elsewhere. Jia and I discuss the joys and perils of living life online (or even adjacent to it), the unexpected impacts of digital surveillance, and what all of this means for raising children.  Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The Election

The Election

2024-10-2805:313

I go on the record with my opinions on the election. Not surprisingly, given this podcast, I find some major connections to failure.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Nate Silver is a risk taker. On top of boldly and publicly forecasting elections as part of his website FiveThirtyEight, he’s a regular poker player, and in just one season of basketball, he bet nearly 2 million dollars on games. He still doesn’t have the foolproof winning formula figured out – even though that’s the ultimate forecaster’s promise – but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t bet on him, or along with him. I have no interest in Vegas, but I can still apply Nate’s life lessons about how to work hard, ask the right questions, and embrace failure as information. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
I’ve known Jason Beghe for 50 years and counting, ever since we met one fateful day in a high school biology class. I watched as this rambunctious and rebellious kid grew up and carved his own path, never following trends. But when Jason became heavily involved in the Church of Scientology, we drifted apart — and I felt like I’d failed him as a friend. For the first time, we unpack what went on between us during that period of our lives, and why our friendship endured. These days we’re close as ever, and I couldn’t be more proud of Jason’s unparalleled success as Sgt. Hank Voight on the long-running NBC series Chicago P.D. From the halls of our high school to the set of Californication, we reflect on a lifelong friendship the same way we always have: with heart and lots of childlike laughter.  Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This week, I’m excited to share Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus, a Lemonada series I know you’ll love. In each episode, Julia chats with accomplished women over 70, tapping into their wisdom, life lessons, and perspectives on aging, success, and navigating life’s challenges. In this episode, Julia sits down with tennis legend and activist Billie Jean King to explore leadership, self-acceptance, and what sparked her love of sports. Plus, Julia’s 90-year-old mom, Judith, weighs in with her thoughts on societal norms and the feminist movement. Season 3 of Wiser Than Me returns on October 9th. To hear more of the series, head to https://lemonada.lnk.to/wiserthanmefd Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Rosie O'Donnell’s famous friends tell her she’s no good at being a celebrity. And if she’s honest, she’s never really felt like one. Despite her iconic roles and mass appeal, Rosie says she always identified more with the viewers at home rather than the stars she was interviewing on her long-running talk show. We got together in person to discuss all this, plus the devastating loss she suffered as a child, and what we both think about meeting fans at conventions. Rosie might feel iffy about fame, but that doesn’t mean the “it” factor that propelled her there isn’t still a driving force in her creative and personal life. And she’s continued to inspire others, too — just ask Eminem. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
You can get even more Fail Better with Lemonada Premium, where I share the extended thoughts I have after each interview. Here’s a free peek at what you could be getting: My conversation with Lisa Loeb, that came out earlier this week, really unlocked some things for me. Plus, it dovetailed well into some of the thoughts I was having after talking with another musician recently, Kathleen Hanna. Lisa got me thinking about perfectionism and finding joy in our work, while Kathleen Hanna had me pondering how a pop song or a rock song can be a conduit for an idea, especially a politically charged one. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium now in Apple Podcasts. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Lisa Loeb has the mind of a student — a straight-A, Grammy-winning student. As we talk, she moves between earnest curiosity and a dogged determination to succeed, and it’s clear to me that Lisa’s robust musical career (extending way beyond her hit song “Stay (I Missed You)”) has a lot to do with how hard she fought to open the doors that were closed on her. From less than ideal musical collaborations to the iffy vicissitudes of press, Lisa knows conflict when she sees it. And while she doesn’t necessarily embrace these challenges, she knows she learns a hell of a lot once she reaches the other side.  Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
When a young Andy Cohen sat in front of his family’s TV watching hours and hours of soap operas, his mother grew increasingly concerned about his future: Was he destined to become an “airhead”? But Andy’s obsession with melodrama paid off. He’s defined modern television as executive producer of the Real Housewives reality show franchise, and he’s spent 15 years as the host of the boundary-pushing talk show Watch What Happens Live. We discuss the little moments that could have changed everything for Andy, how he decides what to share and keep private, and why he has so much respect for actors — and I for reality show editors. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
As a veteran late-night guest, I know a phony host when I see one — and Seth Meyers is as genuine as they come. He’s been a professional funny guy on TV for decades, first joining the cast of Saturday Night Live in 2001, then hosting his own late-night talk show since 2014. Over the years, he’s learned the hard way what works and what doesn’t, stumbling through creative missteps in front of millions of people and, even worse, in front of Lorne Michaels. We discuss standout skits, the legacy of late night, and how having good taste often means knowing when to step aside. Late Night with Seth Meyers will go live on Wednesday, September 11 at 10 p.m. for “A Closer Look with Seth Meyers: Primetime LIVE Election Special”, an extended edition of the show’s signature A Closer Look segment, examining the previous night’s presidential debate. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Here’s something a little different this week, before I come back next week with more interviews. At the end of each episode, you hear a snippet of my thoughts on the interview, usually a day or so later after I’ve had time to sit with it. I share the full version of those freeform, reflective monologues with our Premium subscribers, and today I wanted to share some of my favorites to give you a glimpse. If you want to get all of these insights released alongside the main episodes, you can subscribe at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. As added incentive, you'll also be able to get bonus content from all other Lemonada shows. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
I recently sat down with organizational psychologist Adam Grant for an episode of his podcast, ReThinking. Even though he was the one interviewing me, he shared some of his own valuable insights from the world of academic research. In our conversation, we discuss the importance of accepting your failures, how falling short of your goals can be a good thing, and whether nice people really finish last. As an organizational psychologist, Adam Grant believes that great minds don't think alike; they challenge each other to think differently. In ReThinking, he has lively discussions and debates with interesting thinkers to uncover bold insights and share surprising science that can make us all a little bit smarter. If you like this interview, you can find ReThinking with Adam Grant wherever you get your podcasts.  Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Being “indie famous” is complicated, and Kathleen Hanna isn’t here to water it down. Her career making feminist punk music — most notably in the band Bikini Kill — meant she was attacked for her activism by some and objectified as a symbol by others. But Kathleen and her bandmates continued to fight for respect and wrangle messy topics into punchy songs. Her new memoir, Rebel Girl, is a real treat, and it shows just how much change in the music industry and beyond can be traced back to those efforts. Does that mean Kathleen loves seeing her trailblazing messaging plastered onto throw pillows at Target? As you might expect, that, too, is complicated. Lemonada has teamed up with Apple Books to bring you the Lemonada Book Club. “Rebel Girl: My Life as a Feminist Punk” by Kathleen Hanna is our July/August 2024 audiobook of the month! For more details, visit http://apple.co/lemonadabookclub. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
When I first met Kumail Nanjiani, we were on set on the X-Files, chasing down the shape-shifting Were-Monster. Since then, I’ve seen Kumail undergo his own transformation — into a leading man and big-screen superhero, playing memorable characters with depth, heart and humor. Only, he doesn’t always see it that way. We chat about his love of the X-Files and how he’s recently found new ways of approaching his life, relationship and career with more presence and joy, rather than stressing about the outcome.  Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mary Trump, niece of former president Donald Trump, has long lived in the shadow of her family’s name. And as she writes in her new memoir, Who Could Ever Love You, the darkness of that shadow affected generations of Trump children long before it took hold of the world. We talk about her grandfather, Fred Trump, the business-minded, manipulative patriarch who molded his son Donald in his own sociopathic image. It’s a vivid family portrait, explaining so much about the systems and ideologies that created a man so reluctant to fail. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This week I’m sharing a neat episode of Freakonomics Radio, hosted by past guest Stephen Dubner. His acclaimed podcast recently put out a series that really resonated with me — a series about failure, which is part of why I was so excited to talk with Stephen in the first place. You get to hear the first episode of that series, How to Succeed at Failing, right now. I think you'll enjoy it. We tend to think of tragedies as a single terrible moment, rather than the result of multiple bad decisions. Can this pattern be reversed? We try — with stories about wildfires, school shootings, and love.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The nephew of Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne, and son of Dominick Dunne, becoming anything other than a writer feels almost sacrilegious. Yet Griffin Dunne only recently became an author, publishing his family memoir “The Friday Afternoon Club” after spending decades in other fruitful and wide ranging creative pursuits. The actor and producer, known for movies like An American Werewolf in London and the Scorsese-directed After Hours, feels some sort of regret about his professional moves. But as you’ll hear, he had no shortage of personal trouble and loss influencing his decisions. We chat about him and his famed family — full of actors, activists, and journalists — and all the struggles they collectively moved through. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
“Who can explain the athletic heart?” These are the words Sally Jenkins’ father would ask, driving her to follow in his footsteps and become a groundbreaking sportswriter. From eating a cheeseburger alongside golf legends as a child, to writing memoirs of the world’s top athletes and coaches, Sally has had a unique look into the lives and minds (and hearts) of some of society’s most exceptional individuals. She shares the lessons she’s learned from athletes ranging from Lance Armstrong to Billie Jean King, how they can apply to all of us, and why losing might be the best thing that can happen to you.  Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jeremiah Fraites, co-founder of The Lumineers, says he’s not a lyricist. Yet he matches me quote for quote as we discuss creativity, grief, and giving up control. The conversation takes us a lot of places – like to the free-throw line, and to church. As a fellow father and musician, it’s a treat to see so many sides of Jeremiah, as is getting to reference Spielberg and Metallica in one sitting. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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