Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

Today Jessica and Dr. Ken take on the issues related to teenagers who are adopted or are in foster care. Adolescence often brings up issues of identity and origin stories that can be upsetting to parents who have poured themselves into the lives of their teenagers. Dr. Ken suggests that adoptive and foster parents focus more on Planned Emancipation goals even when there's a strong impulse to slow this process down. We also focus on realistic goals that adoptive parents can maintain in order to fully appreciate their experience as parents of "chosen" kids. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

What does great communication with teens really look like and how can parents achieve that? Dr. Ken and Jessica outline the aspects of the parent-teen relationship that usually cause trouble in communication (spoiler alert: control battles). Also we discuss the more nuanced issue of what great communication with adolescents should really look like. Should parents really have the goal of being so close to their adolescents that "we talk about everything"? Are there even times when a parent should actually tell their teenager, "I don't think you should be telling me this"? Is it a good goal for parents to want to be their teenagers' constant "go to" relationship through the trials of adolescence? You can preorder Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Parents some times complain that they "tried" planned emancipation and it "didn't work." Today we talk about the common reasons for planned emancipation not seeming to have the impact parents expected. This is all covered in the new edition of "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You." You can preorder Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

As we prepare for the release of the second edition of "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You," Jessica and Dr. Ken talk about the power of planned emancipation. This method is often mistaken for the practice of rewarding children's good behavior with more privileges. Planned emancipation, by contrast, recognizes the greater freedom that comes with just getting older. Parents who fearfully try to hang on to control end up weakening their influence on their adolescents. You can preorder Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

In the second edition of "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You," Dr. Ken explains why he added an entire chapter on the issue of burdened parents. We discuss the difficulty of providing information for parents while avoiding the appearance of having an "inside scoop" to guarantee happy, successful teenagers. You can preorder Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

We're getting ready for the release of "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" second edition. This gives Jessica and Dr. Ken the chance to clarify the most important themes that are unique to this approach to parenting adolescents. Today we review individuation which is the most important need that adolescents have by far. This need is so important that Dr. Ken even worries that if your teen doesn't seem to be pushing for autonomy that's not a good thing at all. Also, we take on common misperceptions like individuation is "just like when they were a 2 year old." WRONG! You can preorder Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

This was a tough episode. When parents are struggling with serious illness or other types of suffering, how should they handle their adolescent kids? Jessica talks about her own, recent diagnosis of multiple myeloma cancer and how it has impacted her adolescent and adult children. Dr. Ken talks about his wife's cancer battle 20 years ago when their children were young. There's a significant difference in how parents should deal with their kids when they are young vs. adolescents. In suffering, parents truly show their faith. You can preorder Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Today we talk about Pixar's big summer movie "Inside Out 2" in which the star, Riley, becomes a teenager. Although a really funny movie, Dr. Ken had a fair amount to complain about how we think about the inner life of teenagers. Jessica enjoyed it and so did her 13 year old daughter. Maybe Dr. Ken is just being a curmudgeon. You decide! You can preorder Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Today we talk about Jonathan Haidt's new book, "The Anxious Generation." He is a social psychologist and co-author of the book "The Coddling Of The American Mind." This new book reviews massive amounts of research and delivers what Dr. Ken thinks is a "slam dunk" answer to the debate about whether smartphones are damaging to the lives of children and adolescents. We discuss the concerning data and how smartphones, social media and pornography have contributed to significant increases in adolescent levels of anxiety and depression. As you can guess, we also talk about effective ways to delay and limit smartphone access while still inviting your teenager into the discussion and maintaining a path to autonomy. You can get "The Anxious Generation" book here: https://a.co/d/gvfk0JY You can preorder Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

The second edition of the "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" book will drop on November 5th! Dr. Ken finally finished the work of updating and expanding the Planned Emancipation message. Listeners of this podcast will recognize the new material covered in the book since they are many of the topics we talked about on this podcast over that past four seasons including: - anxiety and depression - ADHD, Autism-spectrum disorders and neurodiversity - brain science and trauma - sexuality and gender identity - single parents - divorce and blended families - adoption - adult children at home - grandparents and teenagers Today we review how the new book is laid out and the new topics this second edition will cover. Of course, this new edition lays out the basic understanding of transitioning adolescents into full adulthood and all the "how-to's" that parents have relied on since publication of the first book. We're glad to be back and are getting fired up about "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" second edition! Pre-order the book here: https://a.co/d/77bAlpm Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

We're taking the summer off after our fourth season! Plus... Dr. Ken has a big announcement that will interest all "Feeding The Mouth" parents when we get back. See you in the fall!

Today we finish up our discussion of Abigail Shrier's book, "Bad Therapy." We take on her more wide-ranging critiques of psychotherapy's influence on schools and parenting. Are schools overstepping when they start monitoring the mental health of their students? When did parenting become a specialized technique for the psychologically trained few. When did parents lose confidence in simply raising their children the same way their parents raised them? We take on these and other issues related to Abigail Shrier's book, "Bad Therapy." Ms. Shrier's book can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CK524HQ7/ Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1514762374/ Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

If you haven't read Abigail Shrier's book, "Bad Therapy" you probably should take a look. Ms. Shrier's critique of an over-psychologized culture and the negative effects of poorly applied therapeutic methods is a timely warning for parents. Dr. Ken doesn't agree with all her conclusions but, as you'll see, there's plenty of very important cautions for parents considering taking their kid to therapy. This is part one of a two part (rather long) discussion. Ms. Shrier's book can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CK524HQ7/ Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1514762374/ Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Stepparents can play a powerful role in the lives of children. But dealing with teenagers is a very different matter. Even if you've been in your stepkids' lives for years, the onset of adolescence can change how they see their relationship to you. Dr. Ken talks about the importance of stepparents taking an honest inventory of how the teenager sees them and the ineffectiveness of stepparents unilaterally expecting a teen's acceptance regardless of the circumstances of how they came into the teenager's life. We also review the power that stepparents have and can play in the lives of their stepchildren and much more. Listen if you are a stepparent or if you know someone who is. Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1 Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

By far the number one question parents ask about is managing cell phones. Just when you think you've set some guidelines they go right out the door. What's the best age to allow cell phones? Does Dr. Ken still recommend allowing complete freedom with these things at some point? We cover these and other important things to review with these stupid devices including some thoughts on parents' own usage of cellphones. Dr. Ken references the "Wait Until 8th" campaign - https://www.waituntil8th.org/ Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1 Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

How should parents deal with teenagers when they're having marriage problems? What are the real effects of divorce on teenagers? When and how much should parents talk to their teens about marriage problems or when considering divorce? Today Jessica and Dr. Ken take on these questions and more. Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1 Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Today we revisit the issue of passing on your own religious priorities to your teenagers. Since the pandemic, attendance at religious services is down significantly among Americans of all faiths. Among Christians, a significant percentage believe that watching church online is equal to church attendance. This drop in regular church or synagogue participation brings a unique challenge to parents who want to influence the faith of their adolescent children. Additionally, we talk about whether parents should require teenagers to attend activities designed for youth when they'd rather just go to service with their parents, what if they tell you they don't even believe in God? We cover these and other aspects of teenagers and faith. Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1 Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

It's been awhile since we talked about pornography and issues surrounding it. Jessica is also worried about anime. Are these two related? Should parents be worried about animated porn images as well as live action videos and images? What is hentai anyway? What is the impact of trying to "lock down" a teenager's access to porn vs. the impact of open communication? We take on these and other issues surrounding harmful, sexually related imagery. Dr. Ken makes reference to Cindy Gallop's book "Make Love Not Porn." It appears this is no longer available. Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1 Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Today we talk to Cynthia Yanof, host of the "MESSmerized" podcast, former host of the "Pardon the Mess" podcast and author of her new book, "Life is Messy, God is Good: Sanity for the Chaos of Everyday Life." Always relatable, Cynthia's book shares stories and lessons learned from the vantage point of a wife, mom, former lawyer, foster parent and Christian woman just trying to keep things together. Her honesty and genuine interest in everyone around her draws people to her like a magnet, including Jessica and Dr. Ken, Cynthia is the new best friend that you just met! You can order Cynthia's book here: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Messy-God-Good-Everyday/dp/0830785337/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.FpO-LuS7Ai5oyZNB81l-7asYYzhZFnYyOGIopmyTzVALHajKoWGLDx1gXtl_5wCBSxDJIjJ6xZzU1tF6kjWfpsfc6cs1SFbC-JWwRAwxtVR4e-mJ32SSOHicPhIUHjcVkU4jANzkzVa3SH4JtNabgqqAoPA3PaGf0UY79_TDUcbpxAS0wGJbaXwCSunISCHy2b0axBG2pNqdD2C2pyx0Iw.AeupKj1yBCDiNddCRyXUx7xrb3xdXF96k4LwbSodga0&qid=1711833469&sr=8-1 Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1 Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

This week we finish our discussion on teens and sociosexuality - an individual's interest in sexual behavior without commitment. Dr. Ken reviews the need to help our daughter's understand the normal differences between male and female sociosexuality. We review the importance of talking to your teens about these differences even though you're sure to get "eye rolls" from a generation that believes everything is about individual differences. Dr. Ken references the following books: "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution" - Louise Perry https://www.amazon.com/Case-Against-Sexual-Revolution/dp/1509549994/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.VQOg_8sw7jb9T-0fFt9KZCudi7AKKInduM-ES9xPDq4fecfnh-xyNUH5_mErzn25V8VZYfgsM40B8bBbH0MuZhUwKGHw8iio8lGPnP9w9PaGdBFZ4oItBrySGW5vLIDLCjre-SlUEoGFvNOECO56WaFPtxp2nJLX9oLy5mLvIkEMw7ynbQ_h5i2DIATK-wsBpllOsL5fjdYk8yo-xeXjDiKARLptoz3P0SShYQrx8So.BPByX1Va2VbaA8yOQ_1T61tIS9n2pE1ZYKrP3SkfAus&qid=1711545656&sr=8-1 "American Hookup" - Lisa Wade https://www.amazon.com/American-Hookup-New-Culture-Campus/dp/0393355535/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2HWS0SCACFO6A&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.W9K4D6-NKQNtoSlI_ReUXRsV_oCd_70Nnq4u93_VjI7IuEspEXW7D-QFY7F2w9HfFzIfkElqGvqPYsP4ogaxHWeX359PKTMFHGBTsntQ8ky3NVWq-RA4H8Xhqe1hZ2WwFElZacMo5-gsrafyy_Ooe0A06lxrPnheI5dzsRiW61nfN6Dm7RwLGVpH3jYYPLmWN4T3aIoxnUxi_2bJApir87RsTOkdqHgX1WbP9u6eDzM.aLTxpOmvbRd9dT_TNohQYHEeSNmlB5daRoecF6oZB4A&dib_tag=se&keywords=american+hookup&qid=1711545789&sprefix=american+hookup%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-1 Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1 Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/