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"If couples can talk more about sex, they end up having better sex." G drops this great quote in this episode. We all have sexual scripts based on what we learned about sex in our families, cultures and societies. These contextual factors can cause us to either be very open, neutral or avoidant when talking about sex. Listen to Laurie and George roleplay a conversation between a sexual withdrawer and sexual pursuer that at first initiates a negative cycle but then works on a repair conversation. As a sexual pursuer, your excitement about the act may lead you wanting to talk about it afterwards. You're really wanting to hear and share about the experience with your lover. A sexual withdrawer may just want to bask in the afterglow and can start to feel the pressure to 'get it right' in that conversation. We also take into account what is happening physiologically after sex. Arousal is a disinhibitor, wherein we feel more free to let go and let pleasure take over. After sex, when no longer aroused you may be feeling more vulnerable as you come back to the self and might not be ready for the debrief. If you enjoy this episode and others make sure to leave us a review or follow us on Instagram for more content to keep it hot!
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Hello Fresh! -- Hello fresh helps you eat healthy even when you have little time. Their meals are delicious, easy to prepare, and they give you everything you need -- in the right proportions! George and I love the meals that Hello Fresh provides. Go to Hellofresh.com/foreplay60 and get 60% off your first order! And free shipping. What a deal!
Athletic Greens (AG-1) - Get your health needs met by taking AG-1! All the probiotics and vitamins you need in a simply and tasting shake. Make an easy shake as often as every meal and you'll be good to go. Use the code 'foreplay' to get a years supply of Vitamin D and a free travel pack with your first order!
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Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!
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Just like in therapy, we learn just as much from our listeners as you learn from us! A few weeks ago, we put out a request on our Instagram feed, @foreplay_sextherapypodcast for listeners to send us their best sex tips. Let us just say that, you DID.NOT. disappoint!! On this episode, George and Laurie read through some of the tips submitted: from being more intentional, to building anticipation and celebrating gray sweatpants season, this is a super fun and informative episode. Make sure to listen and share with your partner for some fresh ideas to keep it hot!
Sponsor:
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Welcome listeners! This episode centers on using Viagra or other medication to help with erectile dysfunction and if they are addictive. Join George and Laurie as they discuss the prescription medication, the reasons behind erectile dysfunction and danger signs to look out for. A key theme of the episode is communication with your partner around the use of Viagra. Make sure to catch this episode to have your burning questions answered and hear Laurie shine as our resident Sexpert! What questions about sex and relationships do you have? Make sure to visit our website and submit questions to our mailbag. If you find our podcast helpful please make sure to leave us a review and share!
Please check out (and buy from!) our great sponsors:
Hello Fresh! -- Hello fresh helps you eat healthy even when you have little time. Their meals are delicious, easy to prepare, and they give you everything you need -- in the right proportions! George and I love the meals that Hello Fresh provides. Go to Hellofresh.com/foreplay21 and get 21 free meals! And free shipping. What a deal!
Athletic Greens (AG-1) - Get your health needs met by taking AG-1! All the probiotics and vitamins you need in a simply and tasting shake. Make an easy shake as often as every meal and you'll be good to go. Use the code 'foreplay' to get a years supply of Vitamin D and a free travel pack with your first order!
Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Picture this, you walk in from a hard, stressful day at work and finally see your partner--your person. You say to them, "Honey, today was such a hard day. Everything went wrong. It was really bad." Your partner replies with, "Well, look on the bright side you're home and your job helps us keep this beautiful roof over our heads." Your body deflates a little. Your partner just brightsided you when you were really hoping for a little sympathy and comfort. This is defined as 'Toxic Positivity': an experience where someone shares something along a negative vein and the responder replies with the brightside, silver lining or overt positivity. In this episode, George and Laurie discuss how toxic positivity affects interactions between partners, why partners might anchor towards using it and how it causes disconnection in relationships. Listeners will take away intent v. impact, and how partners can shift from avoidance of negative emotion to connection through it and end up on the bright side together. If this shows up in your relationship either as the doer or receiver this episode is sure to spark a great conversation! Thanks for listening and keep it hot y'all!
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Check out our great sponsor Uberlube. Use the coupon code Foreplay to receive a 10% discount!
Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off!
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CNN News Anchor Don Lemon recently baffled viewers on air when he said that women of a certain age are past their prime. His female co-hosts, mouth agape as Lemon doubled down on these claims. We at Foreplay felt compelled to respond to this unqualified remark. As therapists, we know that sexuality spans the life cycle and episode #376 challenges Lemon's antiquated notion as George and Laurie discuss sexuality as we age and the often invisible topic of Menopause. Women AND men do not want to miss this episode to learn more about menopause: when it starts, how long it lasts, changes to expect and tips on navigating body and sexual changes. We encourage men to be an active part of this process to help their wives cope with these changes and we emphasize the PAUSE piece. Women can see this as an opportunity to learn and explore their new body, ask what it needs, practice acceptance and find some freedom at this stage. Let us know what you think of the episode by leaving a review or sending us a DM on instagram.
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Hello Fresh - Quick, easy, fun meals. In the hurly-burly of life, it's nice to have some meals ready to make that taste great! No more staring into the fridge wondering what to make!
Uberlube - Laurie's long time favorite lubricant! She's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!
ZocDoc - Download this tremendous app to help you find the medical help you need, when you need it. No more having to figure out how to login to your insurance website to find a doctor or medical specialist. ZocDoc puts that all right at your fingertips! Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!
Building a Lasting Connection - The Couple Connection System is a fun, gamified way to deepen your communication, intimacy, and connection. It's fun and informative!
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Sexual discrepancies are common in relationships. While they occur to varying degrees, an inability to have safe and secure conversation on this topic with your partner can result in the formation of a negative sexual cycle. A dark cloud can form over this wonderful part of an intimate relationship and we risk sex being viewed as negative, rather than positive, loving and bonding. Inspired by a listener question, George and Laurie tackle the challenge of sexual discrepancy in this episode. This is a MUST LISTEN for couples that see the shift in their sexual worlds after becoming parents but don't know how to talk about it, have tried to talk about it before and it hasn't gone well, or might not have the energy to touch it with a ten foot pole! Both the partner that wants sex more often and the partner that may feel overwhelmed by how much they give to others will benefit from L & G's role play and come away with ways to say it better, express more vulnerability and face this dark cloud together. Sexual discrepancy is not an ending, it's an opportunity!
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Allow me to introduce you to Dear Albie, a podcast hosted by Albie Manzo. And with the help of family and friends, he tries to answer old (and new) advice questions as best he can. Relationships, sex, etiquette, dead dogs, bored housewives, honeymoon protocol — and everything in between. The advice show you never knew you needed — every week, wherever you get your podcasts, and on the Cloud10 and iHeart Radio networks.
Listen on Apple & Spotify
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Listeners, Valentine's Day is upon us and Laurie and George have compiled a great list of gifts and ideas both romantic and spicy to help you celebrate the day. If you're groaning over it being a commercialized holiday, we invite you to remember this can be a valuable day to celebrate your bond and try out some new moves. If you're looking for some unique date ideas, ways to express how you feel about your love or some fun products to try out make sure to download this episode to get in the mood. Share this with your lover and talk about whether you want a naughty or nice (or both) Valentine's Day!
Check out our fantastic sponsors:
Foria -- These oils help enhance a woman's orgasm! Field tested by Laurie's crew. Use the link and get 20% off!
Cozy Earth - The softest sheets we've ever slept in. Great V-Day gift to your lover. Use the code 'Foreplay' and get 35% off your order!
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In EFT couples therapy, De-escalation is the first step in helping couples join against their negative cycle. A couple that is working on de-escalation works to identify their repeated move when they feel triggered, see their partner’s move and understand that it is a protection. Giving that move some permission. Lastly and most importantly, to turn and share this with their partner. During this stage in therapy, we can expect that this may result in a negative cycle. And while we don’t like that, we know it’s part of the process and because that cycle is so automatic. To gain success, couples therapists support partners in making micro moves to contribute to a new positive cycle. Couples and couples therapists will gain great knowledge from this episode and listening to Laurie and George’s role play that works through de-escalating a negative sexual cycle.
Please check out our sponsors:
Cosy Earth -- the softest sheets you'll ever feel; you'll want to be naked between these sheets for sure! You can receive 35% off site wide by using the code 'Foreplay'!
UberLube -- Uberlube is our favorite personal lubricant. Smooth and silky it enhances your time together. Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!
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Performance based sex is problematic for couples. A focus on performance can create anxiety. Sex is being thought about in the head (how long will my erection last? Are they liking this? My partner doesn't feel aroused, does that mean I don't turn them on?) rather than experienced in the body. Partners that focus on performance during sex are motivated by approval rather than intimacy and pleasure. Of course the sounds or faces our lovers make during the act are approving, inviting and exciting but if we focus solely on those reactions our nervous systems can go into a tailspin if there isn't a match. So, how do we take sex from performance focused to a more embodied experience? This episode addresses just that! Listen to George and Laurie discuss how to name the pressure, talk about it safely and help one another's bodies relax to get fully online for sex or come up with a different solution if sex isn't going to happen. Great lovers are relaxed and we have better results when we work on this together rather than in isolation.
Check out our great sponsors:
Uberlube - Laurie's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Long before foreplay because it is soooo good for a great sexual experience. Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!
Cozy Earth - These are the softest, sexiest sheets! So soft you'll want to be naked. They have pillows too! Check them out for a fun, long-lasting Valentine's gift. Use the code 'Foreplay' for 35% off sitewide!
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ZocDoc - You'll be able to find a specialist that you need, when you need it. ZocDoc is an app that will direct you to the exact medical specialist you need without a hassle. Try out the app today. Use the code 'Foreplay' so they know we sent you!
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Disillusionment, despair, hopelessness. Many couples that find themselves in a sexless marriage experience these heavy emotions. These emotions can turn into depressed moods, overarching negative outlook on life and consistent feelings of failure. Assigning blame to your partner for either not wanting or wanting too much sex is often a strategy that is utilized to avoid this level of pain. Unfortunately, the blame continues to push partners away from each other and towards more disconnection. In this episode, Laurie and George create a safe space to allow individuals and couples to explore this pain,and shift away from blame and avoidance. Their role play will help you understand yourself and your partner better and is a great jumping off point to deepening the conversation around sexual discrepancies.
Check out our awesome sponsors:
Hello Fresh! -- Hello fresh helps you eat healthy even when you have little time. Their meals are delicious, easy to prepare, and they give you everything you need -- in the right proportions! George and I love the meals that Hello Fresh provides. Go to Hellofresh.com/foreplay21 and get 21 free meals! And free shipping. What a deal!
Rocket Money - Rocket Money can track down and cancel all those online subscriptions you've made and forgotten about that come out of your bank automatically. Save money with Rocket Money! Use the link and let them know we sent you!
Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Listeners join George and Laurie as they break down exactly what a squirting orgasm is and how it differs from female ejaculation, and the how to’s of it. Here are some great takeaways: there needs to be a LOT of stimulation from the G spot to achieve squirting, if you don’t experience squirting orgasms your orgasms are not less than, don’t put too much pressure on trying to make your partner squirt! This is the sex education none of us got but we’re always curious about!
Thank you so much to our sponsors:
Foria has sex oils that enhance a woman's orgasm! The reports from Laurie's clients give Foria's products 5 stars. Go to Foria for 20% off at foriawellness.com/FOREPLAY or use code FOREPLAY at checkout to receive 20% off your order.
Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Happy New Year listeners! In this episode we are talking about sexual secrets: when to share with your partner and when to withhold. A sexual secret might look like a hot fantasy, a memorable sexual encounter with a past lover or a desire to explore sexually. Laurie and George guide listeners in their conversation on the healthy drive behind the secret and pros and cons of sharing or withholding. Our hosts put an emphasis on timing, good judgement and the risks and benefits associated. The erotic mind is always at work and this helps increase vitality and creativity. We still need to protect our relationship and consider, will sharing this secret draw my partner closer or push them away? Disclaimer: this episode is not about affair relationships!
Thank you so much to our sponsors:
Rocket Money -- finally an app that allows you to track (and cancel unused!) online subscriptions! Save money this holiday season that's just going down the drain! Rocketmoney.com/FOREPLAY
Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We can’t help but get swept up in fervor of the New Year energy! Join Laurie and George for a great conversation on how to have a successful year end sexual check-in with your partner. These conversations are so important for your relationship because they help create more intentionality and when we are more intentional in our partnerships we improve the sexual and emotional connection. Here are some great tips from the episode: Create safety to have the conversation, celebrate your wins from the previous year, acknowledge each other’s triggers, focus on wants and wishes not complaints and make it FUN! Happy New Year to all our listeners and a special thanks to our Patreon members and sponsors for helping us carry out our mission to improve the sexual connection in relationships. Cheers to keeping it hot in 2023!
Check out our sponsors!
Uberlube -- the best lubricant for better sex! Use the code 'Foreplay' so they know you are one of our peeps!
Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The negative cycle creates gridlock with couples because it is all about protection. Protection of what? The protection of unmet needs. In this episode, George and Laurie help listeners get clearer on the needs and attachment longings that lie under the surface. Voicing our needs requires A LOT of vulnerability which is often when they aren’t met, they trigger our protective behaviors and we become locked in a negative cycle. Partners that use both pursuing and withdrawing strategies will feel so validated by this episode as you learn to understand your need, value your protection and work to share vulnerability with the one you love. Download the episode today and share it with someone that would benefit from this information! (Episode Link)
Thank you so much to our sponsors:
Rocket Money -- finally an app that allows you to track (and cancel unused!) online subscriptions! Save money this holiday season that's just going down the drain! Rocketmoney.com/FOREPLAY
Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jealousy is difficult to feel. I should trust my partner, I should be more confident. Even I don’t know what to do with my insecurity - it makes me feel ashamed.
George suggests that jealousy is data from the body. It’s a signal that you feel vulnerable. We recognize our partner’s attractiveness. What we do with this feeling can actually increase the bond between us and our partner if we learn to ask for reassurance.
The problem is a jealous encounter may cause a partner to feel accused of doing something wrong. George and Laurie role-play it the escalated and triggered way. Then, they demo a more secure and protected way of sharing these feelings and getting the comfort that adds to the couple connection.
Check out our sponsors:
Uberlube -- Laurie's favorite lubricant for sex or all-around fun!
ZocDoc -- get the referral you need for immediate medical attention.
Lasting Connection System -- give yourself a gift and get this game! Helps you resolve conflicts and build lasting connection. Use the coupon 'foreplay20' to receive 20% off!
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In this episode Laurie and George respond to a question from a listener asking for their help. Our listener shares that they took a risk to bring something spicy into lovemaking and it was a complete miss with their partner. With a little humor and lots of validation, Laurie and George offer supportive advice about what to do when this happens. We know that when misses occur repair is key. Listen to tips here on how to successfully repair and how to be vulnerable with feelings of rejection.
Check out our sponsors:
Foria Wellness -- try their excellent sex oils! Their Awaken Arousal and Sex Oil are excellent for enhancing a woman's orgasm! Try it and see! Use the link Foria or use the code 'foreplay' and get 20% off your order!
Rocket Money -- if your like Laurie and sign up for online subscriptions for everything under the sun you need Rocket Money -- it'll help you by notifying you of subscriptions that you have and are renewing so that you can pay for only the online subscriptions you actually use!
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The Beatles said it best when they sang, "Money Can't Buy Me Love," however finances are a top source of conflict between couples and in this episode our hosts focus on money and the meaning it makes in your life. Join George and Laurie as they discuss money as a competing attachment. EFTers define a competing attachment as a "third," or something outside of a couple relationship that pulls attention away from the partnership in an unhealthy way. Couples then use withdrawing or pursuing strategies to bring awareness to the disconnection created by the competing attachment and a cycle forms. If you've never thought about your relationship with money, we invite you to download the episode and use the attachment lens to explore your relationship with money, the meaning it makes for you and how it affects your partnership.u
Check out our sponsor UBERLUBE. For the best lubricant on the market! Laurie has been recommending for over 20 years and so glad they support the podcast. Support Uberlube and Foreplay by using the code 'Foreplay' when you checkout.
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Rev is often a word you associate with a car engine, but did you know that REV is the acronym you need to improve your ability to listen to your partner better? REV stands for Reflect, Evocative Questions and Validation. Trust us when we tell you that REV simplifies and structures how to listen to your partner and helps conversations stay out of the conflict zone and more connected and loving. Download this episode and share it widely as listening is the most underutilized communication skill!
Check out our favorite lubricant: Uberlube! By buying online you help us to keep the podcast freely available! Use the coupon 'Foreplay' so they know that we sent you!
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In this episode, our hosts breakdown the 5 Dimensions of Touch, from an article written by renowned sex therapist Barry McCarthy, PhD. George and Laurie guide us through the different dimensions: Affectionate touch, sensual touch, playful touch, erotic touch and intercourse. These 5 dimensions are NOT a linear roadmap to intercourse rather ways to increase touch between couples. Hosts provide examples of each and make it possible for couples to explore different levels and kinds of touch and how to have those important conversations to share what feels good, and what doesn’t with your partner. You can check out the original article here: http://bit.ly/3V7rCD8 and make sure to download the episode for more!
Check out our sponsors and support the podcast!
ZocDoc is a free app to help you find a medical professional when you need one. Use the link so they know we sent you!
Uberlube is our favorite lubricant and they've supported our podcast from the start. Laurie has been recommending this for 20 years, long before Foreplay started. Check them out! Use the coupon 'Foreplay' for a discount!
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This episode felt very traditional, as in male female rolls towards sex... And also no openness towards any type of partner. I feel like that type of assumption throughout the episode was somewhat single-sided and even though I am a pursuer, left me feel somewhat unheard in working towards resolution with my withdrawler husband.
He's probably cheating.
excellent idea..to challenge the social constructed ideas n write our own script instead of following sum1 elses..we can borrow ideas we deem useful n chuckout bad ideas..just as we wrote college papers in college days .
horse Feathers
umm not true, after cumming men wanna just take a mini vacation, if we can...haha, George stop it! tell her the truth, lose the political correctness. :) ps: as a mid 30 man I wanna say I'm attracted to women's intelligence n resilience, on physical side women wearing their hair up, breads, pony rails, anything that exposes her neck to caress is hot. you forgot dirty talk or flirty talk, women dominating men is hot..passsionate sex just into each other like a fat kid sees mcdonald french fries..not just lay their n men do all the work. atleast act haha..
how do I know if he really enjoys what he sees. he used to look at me when I would change, now it's like he doesn't even see me even when I announce that my breast are viewable. yet, he will view porn as soon as possible.
I love this podcast it is truly unbelievable how helpful it has been for myself let alone my husband and I. I take meds that mess my system all up and I am so very grateful for all the advice and information on this podcast it has helped my relationship 1000%. pls keep them coming!! ❤
Wow George owned this episode, he came out swinging, lauri u looose! j/k good advice we need to e the driver in seat n take our partners to their destination by understanding their needs n be patient with them becuz each individual has own clock to recover to return to nornal, which we as partner must respect but just tell em whenever ur ready I'm there for you to talk it out n gelp resolve anything 1 is going thru..
ahh nice but unconditional love may spoil some ppl..like knowing they r secure no matter what nay trigger laziness..it's how humans operate if there is no one's watching holding us accountable, we slack.off or procrastinate etc..so balance may be?
Unsuscribed after an utterly inaccurate understanding of the Madonna/whore complex. Is that what you have to offer the general public on this subject?! Your words are doing women an incredible disservice.
wow so Jane low score explain your women r slow n take a while before heating up... it almost feel they are coerced into bed to pleasuring men..where is the passion for women in this? seems non existent jane...are women asexual then early stage of life.I have sympathies that women seem to have to get in mood n act or pretend..wish women had same arousal time line as men but may be there is God's wisdom behind it otherwise we be planet of 14 o 20 billion people..just sucks women engine is 1950s while men arousal engine is concord haha...thx Laura for being honest n not inflating numbers, it seems real tough task to get women aroused SEXUALLY.
I so appreciate you two taking the time to speak about something so difficult. I wanted to speak about the looters. So many ask why loot in your own neighborhood. But you have to understand, these people don't own homes in "their" neighborhood(due to systemic rascism), they don't own businesses in "their" neighborhood(due to systemic rascism), and the "justice system" that's taken away the ability of many young black men to get good jobs(forever), and the omnipotence of a police force, there to punish, not protect(due to systemic rascism). Theae neighborhoods are owned and patrolled by others who really don't want these people(ex: black, poor, broken families). Doesn't make it right to loot-but understand it's not "their" neighborhood. Again, I appreciate the sensitive, intelligent and mature way you both adressed the subject of black lives and systemic rascism in America.
This was just an awful conversation on the topic. This was a very negative view from both sides, I mean Adam couldn't even say the words anal sex and he's a couple's therapist? The tone on the subject was not supportive at all and don't use this episode as a precursor for conversations. Very stereotypical views on men and the subject and they couldn't even say 2 words on men's anal sex.
Is Tony really a marriage therapist? He seems pretty clueless. Suggesting that a couple in a sexual rut role play paying for sex? Say what!? Is he suggesting this kind of stuff to clients?
You are being stereotypical. There's a lot of pressure on both partners on this make-up holiday. It's built up so much in our culture that when it doesn't meet expectations, both partners can feel anger and resentment.
Why are people having sex in the dark?
Is he joking? He really didn't know this information? Unbelievable.
TY TY interesting concepts. Hopefully, open dialogues will begin.
this podcast doesn't play, so do half of your other ones! what's going on?
This episode definitely dispelled some myths