Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

This week on Get Your Marriage On!, Dan sits down with Seth and Melanie Studley, from Anatomy of Marriage, to discuss entitlement and how it hinders not only intimacy but also your relationship.  You can learn more about Seth and Melanie and their work at Anatomy of Marriage.  If you enjoy this episode, make sure to check out our app - Intimately Us! 

Do you date your spouse? Once marriage and kids come along, it's more important than ever to keep the spark alive by dating your spouse! This week, sexpert Amberly Lambertsen from A Prioritized Marriage, gives us tips on how to make date night a priority despite having busy lives. 

Pornography use can cause hurt, disappointment and an array of hurt feelings in your marriage. Today's Sexpert, Dr. Cameron Staley is a clinical psychologist and the creator or "Life After Pornography" online program. Dr. Staley speaks about how overcoming pornography and how to use this to strengthen your marriage. If you like this episode, make sure to check out our app Intimately. Us

For this Sexpert Interview, Dan sits down with Sarah Belzer. Sarah is the President of Coconu, an all natural personal care company. Dan and Sarah discuss all things lube and there's a lot more that goes into lube than you may think!

Nate Bagley is the founder of Growth Marriage "Where Ordinary People Create Extraordinary Love". Nate believes that most people suffer from a disease called "mediocre love" but they shouldn't! Nate's mission is to help couples achieve a ridiculously fulfilling marriage.  In today's podcast, we discuss with Nate why "nice guys" have bad sex, how being a "nice guy" previously impacted Nate's relationships, and what to do if you find yourself being a "nice guy". 

Amanda Louder is a Certified Life Coach & Intimacy Coach that helps conservative Christian women embrace their sexuality and love their sex life for themselves. In short, she's an expert at helping individuals identify and overcome limiting beliefs so that they can live with more joy. We cover topics such as: How limiting beliefs affect ourselves, our potential, our sexual and spiritual capacities, and other areas of our life How we can identify what our limiting beliefs are The link between living a life of integrity & being honest with ourselves and our spouse and the capacity for deeper intimacy How limiting beliefs sometimes get in the way of sexual desire in relationships How couples co-construct each other’s limiting beliefs over time in their marriage, keeping both people in the marriage stuck What mistakes higher desire spouses tend to make, and what mistakes do lower desire spouses tend to make, and how to escape your destructive cycles Amanda isn't afraid to tackle controversial sexual topics, such as masturbation, toys, anal sex, and the like. We discuss why it's important for individuals to think about the meanings they associate with sex, and to discover for themselves what they feel is right for them and their marriage. How to best approach your spouse about something sexual you’re interested in doing together, but are unsure if they’ll respond positively. We discuss tips on how to best handle those hard conversations. And Amanda's black belt sex tips! For more information about Amanda Louder, check out https://www.amandalouder.com.

Studies show that men reach orgasm regularly during sex about 95% of the time, compared to 48% for women. Also, many of those in the 48% haven't always been in that group -- it's something they've grown into.  Today's guest is Sheila Wray Gregoire, a fellow "sexpert" and creator of a research-based orgasm course for women. If you or someone you love in life wants to improve her orgasms, this one is for you! In this episode, we tackle questions like: How many women struggle with reaching orgasm?  Why is there such a big orgasm gap between men and women? What myths get in the way of a healthy view of sex & orgasm? What are some of the relationship factors that affect a wife’s ability to get there? How does pressure to climax, such as coming from the husband, affect a woman’s ability to orgasm? How do your own expectations and pressure you put on yourself affect your ability to orgasm? What steps can a wife take on her own, for the purpose of getting comfortable with your own body and learning what feels good, for the benefit of the marriage? What are some techniques couples can try, besides intercourse? Why do people say oral sex so effective in this area? How can husbands help their wives get there? What should husbands NOT do to help their wives get there? How can women learn to have multiple orgasms? We also want to emphasize that there’s more to sex than just orgasms. A WHOLE lot more. If you like this episode, be sure to download our app, Intimately Us at https://intimately.us  

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is one of the best teachers I know that teach how to build a truly meaningful & rich relationship. She has her PhD in clinical psychology and teaches men's, women's, and couple's courses on sexuality and relationships.  In this episode we talk about the three stages of sex and how to bring your marriage from whatever level you're at to the next level. We discuss the risks involved in being a better lover as well as what really good lovemaking looks like. To find out more about Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, check out https://finlayson-fife.com. If you like this episode you'll also enjoy our app. Download it at https://intimately.us.

Dan speaks with Belah Rose, internationally acclaimed sexual intimacy expert, coach, author, speaker and founder of Delight Your Marriage.  Belah is the author of "Delight Your Husband". She’s also created the Delight Your Husband Video Course, The Seduction Course™, The Delighted Wife Program™ and Masculinity Reclaimed Program™. She sure knows how to keep busy!  In this episode, Belah speaks about how how self confidence leads to confidence in the bedroom. She talks about how her own marriage woes lead her on the path to discover more self confidence which strengthened her marriage and her sex life! If you like this episode, please check out our app, Intimately Us at https://intimately.us!   

Ever feel like you're always begging for sex but settling for scraps and leftovers? Then this episode is for you. Dr. Mike Frazier coaches men on his Strong Man System to help men get back the marriage & sex lives they want by living a life of integrity and honesty.

Dr. Jessica McClease is a professional marriage counselor and sex therapist with a specialty in helping women overcome sexual issues. She often says sex is a reflection of the goodness and creativity of a loving God and sex in your marriage is a reflection of the relationship that you’ve already developed with your spouse. In this episode, we talk about: The fact that every person on the planet experiences sexual dysfunction at some period in their life, and that solutions are within reach Problems with sexual dysfunction that are unique to some individuals growing up in modern-day Christian cultures We discuss common sexual issues women face, such as inhibited sexual desire, inhibited arousal, vaginismus, painful intercourse (dyspareunia), vaginal dryness, and orgasm difficulties The role of physical, relational, and mental health in each of these concerns What to do if you have ongoing concerns The role of pelvic floor therapists How husbands can help support their wife if she's experiencing these things We finish off with some advanced "black belt" sex tips from this sexpert!

Monica was about to have her third baby and was meeting with the doctor about treating her anticipated postpartum depression that afflicted her past two childbirths. She really wanted to nurse this baby, and asked the doctor if there was anything else she could do to avoid going on medication after the baby was born. "Well, you could have more frequent and intense sex. Sex will release the same brain chemicals that these medications are trying to do." Her husband was like, "YEAH!" and Monica was like "DOUBLE YEAH!"  This experience and many others has helped Monica coach many women and men on how a sex-first approach can strengthen marriages. In this episode you'll learn things like: - How Monica overcame postpartum depression by having more sex with her husband - How to combat negative messaging we receive - What healthy sexuality looks like - How we can take 100% responsibility for things in our control to give us more freedom - How focusing on the "brighter side" can be a tool to help you overcome attraction issues - You can't change your spouse, but your spouse will often change if you make changes within yourself first. - How you and your spouse don't necessarily need to have all interests common in order to be intimate - Training in the art of "sexpionage" - "Differentiation" -- bringing your goals and your dreams to life, and love your spouse accordingly - Do chores, like scrubbing the toilets -- naked! - Going two weeks without intercourse - ...and more Black Belt sex techniques! Download the Intimately Us app at https://intimately.us. Check out Monica Tanner's work at https://onthebrightersideoflife.com/!

Ever feel like you're not sexy because you don't look like Jessica Rabbit, or fit some sort of cultural ideal that someone else handed down to you?  In this Sexpert Interview, I talk with Celeste Davis from Marriage Laboratory. She's a super smart (and funny) marriage nerd that has put in the hard work herself and has a lot of wonderful things to share. In this podcast we discuss topics such as: The Love Language experiments she and her husband did, and what surprised her about each one How to develop a healthy self image How being authentic and drawing on your own natural gifts is really sexy! How to discover your own version of “sexy” instead of comparing yourself to somebody else's image How to peel back the onion layers and work on yourself to be the very best version of you How to keep your sex life alive and strong for the long haul Celeste finishes the interview with some awesome “black belt” intimacy tips to take your marriage and lovemaking to the next level. If you like this episode, please check out our app, Intimately Us at https://intimately.us!

Welcome to another Sexpert Interivew Series podcast episode! Laura M. Brotherson is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and a Certified Sex Therapist. She’s the author of three books, “And They Were Not Ashamed”, “Knowing Her Intimately”, and “From Honeymoon to Happily Ever After.” She runs a private practice helping couples live a “sextraoridnary” life, has a podcast called The Marital Intimacy Show, and much more. In this episode we talk about the importance of adding variety to the way you and your spouse make love so that the marriage can last a long time. We also discuss details on how to go about discovering new things you like, and how to have conversations with your spouse around your preferences. If you like what you hear, check out our app at more resources at https://intimately.us!

In this episode of the Sexpert Interview Series, I interview Rhonda Farr, a certified intimacy coach. Rhonda shares her experience coaching many men and women on how to develop deeper intimacy in their marriage for better sex & a happier relationship. We discuss many concepts in this episode, including: Intimacy is the capacity to tolerate ourselves and each other The need to get honest with yourself Write out your own marriage manual The difference between making a request and demands What to do if you’re having pity sex Black belt intimacy tips For more information on how to take your marriage to the next level, download the Intimately Us app from https://intimately.us

Understanding and making sense of our emotions is absolutely essential to living well. We have parts of our brain that are responsible for making sense of our emotions. We also have parts of our brain dedicated to mapping the emotional state of those around us. Sometimes couples come to me for coaching because they don't feel emotionally connected to their spouse. There are a myriad of reasons why they're struggling in this area.  So I invited Dr. Glen hill, a marriage therapist, and his wife, Phyllis, onto this podcast to talk about their story and about the role of emotional connection in marriages. One thing I learned is when we use the word connection, we mean it in like, "We're not connected," in a negative connotation.  But the reality is, we are often connected, whether we like it or not. Sometimes we like the way we're connected or sometimes we don't like the way we're adversarially connected and fighting a lot. So learning to understand the difference between connection you like and and connection you don't like is an important step forward in learning how to communicate emotionally with your spouse a whole lot better .  In fact, in this episode, Glenn and Phyllis are so vulnerable and they share a practice about how they relate to each other emotionally. My wife and I have been doing this practice daily for about eight months now, sp I can personally vouch for this. I encourage couples like coach to try this practice as well! Get the Free Core Emotions Wheel referenced in the episode here.    If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Our brand new, signature Get Your Marriage On Program!  

I'm humbled that you'd trust me with your most urgent and private questions--I receive anonymous questions every day through our website. We address a handful of these questions today and I'll plan another Q &A episode in a few weeks. Sometimes I'll combine a few related questions together to address things more efficiently. (Go to our website to submit your questions.) As I address these questions today, I hope you see a common thread in everything I share. It's my belief that really good sex and intimacy doesn't come easily because everything of value in life takes consistent effort. Building an intimate marriage isn't supposed to be an overnight task.  I want to invite you to think of it in this way: the obstacles you experienced in intimacy in your relationship is God's way of calling you to step in and grow up a little more in yourself and in your relationship with your spouse. Think of it as an invitation to learn how to take more personal responsibility, to learn to speak up, to learn, to be more humble, to be more honest, to be more patient, to be more kind, to be more compassionate, and to cherish your spouse more deeply than ever. Building a rewarding intimate marriage is indeed spiritual work.  I also believe sex is very core to who we are as an individual. Sex is so very personal. As a marriage coach, I solve sexual issues in the marriage first (with lots of compassion, by the way). These are delicate and real feelings, but if a couple can get the courage to address and work through their sexual difficulties first everything else in their marriage becomes a lot easier.  Whether it be finances, parenting in-laws, faith matters, or what direction the toilet paper roll should be loaded on the dispenser. I'm very grateful you've joined us today! Get ready to dive into these wonderful questions!   If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Our brand new, signature Get Your Marriage On Program!  

Picture this. The journey of building an intimate marriage is much like a road trip through winding paths and scenic routes. Sometimes there's traffic jams. Sometimes there are stretches of long, boring highways or lonely, dark nighttime drives. Sometimes there are flat tires and detours. And then there are beautiful vistas, new destinations at thrilling speeds, and awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping scenes that move you in a profound way, leaving you forever changed. My guest today is Dr. Julie Slattery of Authentic Intimacy. She's a psychotherapist that helps Christian women embrace their sexuality. You'll get to hear Dr. Slattery open up about her own adventures and misadventures in marriage. Everything from those awkward honeymoon moments to the deeper challenges of connecting on all levels. She reminds me that while these bumps in the road are common, they're also prime opportunities for growth, not just individually, but together with our spouses.   If you find the important and meaningful work of building an intimate marriage isn't as easy as you think it would have been, don't fret. You're not alone in this. In fact, every couple, even us, faces their own set of challenges behind closed doors. And that's okay. These hurdles don't have to define your relationship. It's about how we overcome these challenges that matters. As I think about my own moments of growth and building an intimate marriage with my wife, Emily, many of these moments were born out of my stumbling blocks that have turned into stepping stones for me.   You'll love hearing about Dr. Julie Slattery's four pillars for a rock solid intimate relationship and stay to the end to hear her black belt sex tip too. *** We just launched our new signature Get Your Marriage On Program! The program not only offers extensive instruction, but it's coupled with lifetime coaching and community! Learn more about it on our website! We have two retreat options coming up: Virtual Retreat: July 12-14. Enjoy from the comfort of your home or hotel. More details coming. In person Retreat: October 10-13 in St. George, UT. Get all the details on our website and register now! As always, make sure you're enjoying our free app, Intimately Us. And join us over on Instagram or Facebook @getyourmarriageon. 

I feel called to this important work that I do in Get Your Marriage On! It is extremely important and meaningful work to me. The changes I've experienced in my own marriage were too good to keep to myself, and I wanted to share it with others. In some ways, I feel like I'm a missionary again--sharing the good news of the gospel to others. In fact, I strongly believe that there are many parallels between sexual development and spiritual development, and I'm not alone in sharing that opinion.  Today, I invited Amy, Greg and Tammy, who are my colleagues and coaches in my programs and also at my retreats, to have a conversation about the most recent retreat as well as our new program. I want you to listen to the passion and empathy behind their voices. These are people that deeply care about you, your happiness in your marriage, and providing every tool possible to help you get your marriage on.  *** We just launch a BRAND NEW PROGRAM today! I hope you'll check it out and take the next leap to take your marriage to the next level! Also, as you'll hear in the episode, we had such a great time at the retreat a couple weeks ago, we've decided to make it happen again this year! Mark your calendars for October 10-13, and register today on our website!

I believe sex is a very powerful language. Just think an immense amount of information is communicated between two people in any sexual interaction. Last year, my wife and I read the book Replenish, by Tammy Hill. Among other things, this book describes a practice called orgasmic meditation.   We went away for a weekend last fall and decided to give it a try. It was amazing for us because it made sex so much more about a meaningful connection and communication between us, rather than just rushing to orgasm.   We liked the orgasmic meditation practice so much that it's become a regular routine in our marriage bed for several months.  Now I wanted to do a podcast episode about it and Tammy Hill, who is a marriage and family therapist and a sex therapist and author of the book I just mentioned, kindly agreed to come on my podcast as a guest. This is a real treat for me to have her here and to share her immense wisdom with me.  We talk about the principles behind slow sex, or orgasmic mediation, how to do it, and why you want to try it out!