Grow Yourself Up

In this episode Cath is joined by Dr. Kathrin Stauffer for a rich and varied discussion about emotional neglect, what causes this, how we might know we have been emotionally neglected, the interplay with narcissistic family dynamics, what constitutes narcissistic traits and how narcissism and perfectionism can play out in motherhood. Kathrin Stauffer PhD, UKCP Registered Body Psychotherapist, is the author of ‘Emotional Neglect and the Adult in Therapy: Lifelong Consequences to a Lack of Early Attunement’ (W.W. Norton 2020). She was born and educated in Switzerland. Originally a research biochemist, she retrained at the Chiron Centre for Body Psychotherapy. She lives in Cambridge in the UK and works in private practice as a body and humanistic psychotherapist, EMDR practitioner, trainer and supervisor. Currently she is the President of the European Association for Body Psychotherapy EABP. Kathrin's website is www.stauffer.co.uk If you wish to work with Kathrin or have a question for her, then email her direct on kathrin@stauffer.co.ukIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath was joined by therapist and coach Catherine Topham Sly. Catherine and Cath talked about adult love relationships, conflict, couples therapy, learning to communicate, how the mental load after kids can cause conflict and much more.Catherine Topham Sly is the UK’s leading expert in relationships after kids. Founder of Insight & Connection, she's a BACP accredited couples therapist and relationship transformation coach. Catherine is the creator of the 'Love Happy Live Free' method, a unique personal development and relationship skills training programme. Catherine works with both individuals and couples who want to develop the mindset and skills to have loving, satisfying, joyful relationships, so they can enjoy their happiest family life.You can find Catherine on Instagram @insightandconnectionIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath speaks about emotional neglect, some of what that involves and how it presents when we are an adult. She speaks about the complexity of holding space for emotions when that was never done for us. Please be gentle with yourself as you practise this skill.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath shares an anecdote from her own life about how something her kids wanted to do triggered shame and the desire to people please and what happened. She talks about people pleasing and fawning and the actual nature of people pleasing and what it is really about. If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath and Dr. Herman talked about trauma and recovery, justice for survivors, complex trauma, stages of recovery/healing, what helps in the postpartum period according to research and Dr Herman's incredible work in the field of trauma, justice, repair, healing and recovery.Judith Lewis Herman M.D. is Senior Lecturer in Psychiatry (part time) at Harvard Medical School. For thirty years, until she retired, she was Director of Training at the Victims of Violence Program at The Cambridge Hospital, Cambridge, MA. She is the author of the award-winning books Father-Daughter Incest (Harvard University Press, 1981), and Trauma and Recovery (Basic Books, 1992). She is the recipient of numerous awards, including a Guggenheim fellowship in 1984 and the 1996 Lifetime Achievement Award from the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies. In 2007 she was named a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association.Her new book, Truth and Repair: How Trauma Survivors Envision Justice, was published in March, 2023.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath talks about moving away from panic and urgency, the complexity of healing chronic stress and how everything in our body is linked and how she's moving forward in this in her own life.Within the episode Cath mentions 'Rushmead Farm' and their womb balm which you can purchase here www.rushmeadfarm.comIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath uses Polyvagal Theory to shine a light on how discombobulating things in parenting can be (and why), the shift in being the default parent and how this relates to our nervous systems. She talks about how we can learn to send ourselves signs of safety and how we can use PV to support our families.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath speaks about how control is such a key coping strategy for so many of us and how this rears its head at times of stress (like early motherhood) and in new situations. Control is not the solution we think it is and Cath shares a recent incident from her own life showing how control is so seductive and seems to be the answer, but really it is an illusion.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath speaks about how tricky first times can be and how many of these may happen in a holiday (and in our children’s lives) and how we can support ourselves and our families with this.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Cath returns to the topic of meeting our needs and how much this can involve when we have not had our needs attended to or met in childhood. She speaks about how many of us experience shame in relation to our needs and how impactful this is. Cath speaks to the nuance around meeting needs, how needs may shift over a healing journey and she shares a couple of anecdotes from her own life.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In episode 136 Cath is joined by author, coach and podcast host Mara Glatzel.This is a rich conversation centered on needs and how we can make space for them, illustrated with stories from Mara’s life. We also discuss ambition, grappling with achievement, choice and the decisions we need to make about how we actually spend our precious lives. Mara Glatzel (she/her) is a coach, podcast host, and the author of "Needy: How to Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty." She teaches fellow needy humans to uncover the most vulnerable and true expressions of themselves, and learn how to deeply tend to their needs. Through her online programs, workshops, and retreats, Mara supports people to reclaim space for their own humanity and create ambitious lives filled with meaning, without abandoning themselves in the process. Find out more about Mara at maraglatzel.comIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In episode 135 Cath was joined by coach and author Tamu Thomas. We had a joyful and generative discussion covering so much: overworking, why we do it, how we have to redefine success for ourselves and live in line with our values, envy and comparison, friendship and much more.Tamu Thomas is an author, keynote speaker, and leadership consultant. She helps high-achieving women stop overworking and redefine success so it fuels their ambition without eroding their quality of life. Her work helps leaders create workplaces people want to be part of where they can do their best work without needing a sabbatical to recover from burnout.With 15 years in social work and expertise in behaviour change, Tamu brings a unique ability to translate complex human dynamics into practical, organisational strategy. Her approach is informed by Polyvagal Theory and Positive Psychology, helping organisations build cultures where highperformance and wellbeing coexist.Tamu is known for her work on the biology of belonging, demonstrating how nervous system safety underpins psychological safety, inclusion, and sustainable high performance. She helps leaders understand how culture is experienced in the body, and how signals of safety or threat directly shapebehaviour, retention, innovation, and growth.She has a rare ability to make complex, often uncomfortable topics feel accessible, engaging, and even joyful, blending science, storytelling, and personal insight to connect with diverse audiences. Her talks create shared understanding, making people feel seen and supported, while deliveringmindset-shifting insights with warmth, clarity, and practical relevance.She is the author of Women Who Work Too Much, a guide for women ready to stop proving their worth through exhaustion. Her work has been featured in Harper’s Bazaar, Stylist, Psychologies, Marie Claire, Grazia, and on BBC Sounds.Tamu works with leaders, founders, and organisations to create cultures where performance is sustainable, people feel seen, and success is measured by more than output alone.For speaking engagements, leadership consulting, and media enquiries, contact tamu@livethreesixty.comOr follow her on Instagram here.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath was joined by Julianne Boutaleb. We discussed fertility journeys, fantasies of ourselves and our babies, how a fertility journey can impact what we believe we are allowed to feel/think and experience in our mothering journeys and so much more. Julianne used poetry to deepen our understanding of the complexities inherent in motherhood and we discussed the importance of right brain to right brain interactions and more!Julianne is the Clinical Director and Founder of the Parenthood In Mind practice. She is a passionate and highly experienced perinatal psychologist who has worked for over 24 years in the NHS and private practice with parents and parents-to-be and their babies (and bumps) who have needed support with a wide variety of issues including anxiety and depression during and after pregnancy, miscarriage and reproductive loss, attachment issues, re-emergence of childhood issues and couples issues.Julianne is a member of the Birth Trauma Association and specialises in working therapeutically with birth trauma, PTSD and tokophobia (fear of giving birth) as they impact the mother, couple relationship and parent-infant attachment. In addition, she is also affiliated with BICA (British Infertility Counselling Association) and offers tailored psychological interventions for individuals and couples (including same sex couples) who are pregnant or are parenting following ART (IVF, ICSI, donor conception, surrogacy) or adoption. She also specialises in offering psychological support to parents (either individually or together) who are co-parenting in the midst of separation and divorce. She has over 15 years’ experience teaching and training psychologists and health professionals on issues of parental mental health, attachment, early years and positive mental health for babies and young children.Julianne works from a variety of perspectives including psychodynamic and attachment models, CBT, integrative, ACT and compassion-focussed work, couples work and can also offer parent-infant sessions using the Watch, Wait & Wonder model which focusses on how you can improve your attachment relationship with your baby.You can connect with Julianne on Instagram here. Or her website listed here.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this wide ranging episode Cath focuses on parental burnout and talks about how we are more vulnerable to this if we have childhood trauma and why. She references recent research into this topic discussing what it is, risk factors for parental burnout, why it matters, how we can conceive of it through a nervous system lens and how we can support ourselves.The link to the research discussed in the podcast, is listed below. Ren, X., Cai, Y., Wang, J. et al. A systematic review of parental burnout and related factors among parents. BMC Public Health 24, 376 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-024-17829-yIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath shares that she received a diagnosis of ADHD and Autism in 2024 and some of the reasons she pursued this. She shared how she is integrating this and how she was tending to herself and meeting her needs ahead of the diagnosis. Cath speaks about executive functioning, what it is, how this may be a struggle and she shares specific anecdotes from her own life about needs, struggles in mothering and struggles with time blindness and how she supports and accommodates herself with these. Would you like more of this sort of content?If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In episode 131 of Grow Yourself Up Cath was joined by Dr. Jenny Turner. Jenny and Cath had a wide ranging and rich discussion covering the following: Jenny's path to motherhood and the birth of her son, shame, relationships, the challenges of shifting cycles in parenting, when perimenopause and postpartum collide and how we often have to dig really deep in motherhood and much more.Jenny is a clinical psychologist and founder of 'Mind Body Soul Psychology'. She is based in North Yorkshire, and works online with people from all over the UK. Jenny is also a mum to a four year old son.With an extensive NHS background in child and adolescent mental and physical health services. Jenny is now passionate about supporting Mothers, a central theme of the work she offers is how we can all get our own needs met, while we are caring for so many other people, Jenny believes that the care we receive, our boundaries, and our own healing are all fundamental to the care we offer as mothers, and to our enjoyment of the process of mothering.She is also passionate about helping mothers to navigate through the emotions that society too often (wrongly!) tells us 'we're not meant to feel' as Mothers, such as resentment, ambivalence, anger, rage, trauma, shame, guilt, grief, exhaustion, and burnout.Jenny offers integrative therapy to her clients - She draws largely on systemic, societal, psychodynamic, compassion-based and body-based, trauma-informed models (such as polyvagal theory). As well as the therapeutic model of shame-resilience developed from Brené Brown's research.You can connect with Jenny on her website listed here: www.mindbodysoulpsychology.co.ukOr, Instagram: @drjennypsychologistIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath was joined by Dr Jodi Pawluski, they talked about Jodi’s path to motherhood, her postpartum time, how she prepared for this time and how her own parents’ support impacted her.Jodi shares a bit about her family history, about the partnership she has with her husband in parenting and how her own work and knowledge of the brain supports her in her mothering role. Dr Jodi Pawluski is a Behavioural Neuroscientist, Psychotherapist and Author. Her research is affiliated with a research unit of the INSERM institute, the University of Rennes, France.For over fifteen years Jodi has studied the neuroscience of motherhood and the effects of perinatal mental illness and antidepressant medications on the mother and developing offspring.In 2020 Dr. Pawluski started a podcast called "Mommy Brain Revisited" which focuses on bringing current research on the parental brain to the general public. She also recently published a book (available in French and English) titled "Mommy Brain: Discover the amazing power of the maternal brain". Dr Pawluski's work has appeared in the New York Times, Scientific American, CNN, The Boston Globe, Die Zeit, Elle, Marie Claire, to name a fewYou can connect with Jodi on her website listed here www.jodipawluski.comInstagram: @dr.jodi_pawluskiX (formerly twitter): @JodiPawluskiIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath is joined by Occupational Therapist and Conscious Parent Coach Maggie Viers. Maggie shares her own growth and awakening in motherhood. She talks about how becoming a mother was a catalyst for her own growth and healing.Motherhood pushed her to look into the details of her own childhood experiences and how these had impacted her. Maggie shares her wisdom, what she finds most helpful in tending to herself and how she prioritises connection with her children and family in a world that is always encouraging us to do more. You will feel hopeful and encouraged after this episode.Maggie is now an Occupational Therapist who has evolved into a conscious parent coach. She has a passion for shifting the paradigm for how we view behavior and supporting other parents to become more connected to themselves, their children, and others. She does this by getting to the “why” and approaching life with curiosity. She helps parents to understand their own nervous system, sensory profile, and triggers so they can better understand their children as well. It wasn’t until motherhood that she discovered how her own struggles and patterns had so much to do with her own early childhood experiences and conditioning. For Maggie, becoming a parent was a challenging yet beautiful invitation to go inward and become curious about her own life story so she could show up differently for herself and her kids.You can find Maggie on Instagram @theempoweredfamilyMaggie offers 1:1 coaching through the link in her Instagram bio or www.thrivinglittles.comIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 128 ponders the question 'Am I failing my kids' and uses an attachment analogy to explain what that would actually look like. She uses details from her own life to explain how we all have periods of challenge, disconnection, stress and how we can reframe this. Instead of using black and white language to describe our experiences and saying we are bad/shit, Cath suggests how we might conceive of things instead.Cath also speaks briefly about the TV show 'Adolescence' and the issues this programme has highlighted. And how secure attachment and cultivating warmth, connection and allowing vulnerability for all are a vital part of how we can protect our children from all sorts of negative outcomes. She speaks about patriarchy and modelling and how our own relationships as adults are what our children learn from.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath is joined by Yvonne Smyth. Yvonne is a Conscious Parent Coach and a Child Advocate. She's a single mum who co-parents her boys of 12 and 13 and she lives in Northern Ireland.Yvonne shares about how and why she shifted her parenting style and how that has been so beneficial for her family. Yvonne is passionate about supporting parents to connect deeply with their children and to move away from using coercion and control within the parent/child relationship. Yvonne discusses the challenges of parenting in the teenage years. She shares how she is approaching this time, how she maintains connection and continues to work on the parent/child relationship, despite messaging in society that says this is a time we 'lose our kids'.Many of Yvonne's clients come to her with lots of "knowledge" about Conscious/Gentle Parenting but struggle to put it into practice. Yvonne is warm, honest and compassionate. One of the words people who work with her most often use to describe her is "relatable". She shares many stories and anecdotes from what she calls her own "living laboratory" of her relationship with her boys which brings her work to life in a way that tends to resonate deeply with other parents.Yvonne offers sessions on zoom to parents, couples and even friends who want to be supported together. She also runs workshops on various themes related to Conscious Parenting. Yvonne has a series of workshops aimed specifically at parents of teens. She has also just launched a community/membership called The Heart of Parenting - What Really Matters. You can find Yvonne here:Instagram: @thisparentingadventure Facebook:  www.facebook.com/thisparentingadventure LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/yvonne-smyth-009645a/If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.