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How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine
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How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine

Author: Danielle Koenig & Kristine Kimmel

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Join hosts Danielle Koenig & Kristine Kimmel for a comedy podcast about surviving the things that could kill you and the stuff that just makes you wish you were dead.

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This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the dangers of fascism and the hilarious Todd Levin joins us to share his experience traveling to Walt Disney World with his family. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive sleep deprivation, and our good friend, comedian Mike Schmidt, joins us to share a story of the disastrous results of falling asleep at work.The HTS gang is taping another nighttime BONUS episode this week, so look out for that soon if you are a Seek Shelter Patreon member. This episode is going to offer some fun giveaways! You can check out our Patreon at no cost RIGHT HERE for more details.Do you have a tattoo? Do you want one? Tell us your tattoo stories at podcasthowtosurvive@gmail.com. Can humans survive without sleep?What happens to the body when we don't get enough sleep?There's a reason why sleep deprivation is considered torture.For storytime, Kristine shared the story of Peter Tripp, a 1950s radio personality who underwent an intense sleep experiment. Here's a short documentary about Tripp on youtube. Interested in reading more about The Payola Scandal? Vice has a fun pieceHave a terrible night with no sleep? Here are some tips.Danielle brought up co-sleeping. Pregnant and considering it? Watch this video first!Mike Schmidt has been a standup comedian/writer since 1991. In the spring of 2006, he became a cast member on the podcast “Never Not Funny.” After a year-long stint, he started his podcast, “The 40-Year-Old Boy," a weekly trip through the mosh pit inside his skull.Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive an alligator's attack. The hilarious Paul Gilmartin shares the tale of his smackdown with a legendary wrestler.Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebookGo to https://www.magicmind.co/howtosurvive And get up to 56% off your subscription for the next 10 days with the code HOWTOSURVIVESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine discuss surviving a dangerous blizzard, and the hilarious Eliza Skinner joins us with a story about surviving a blizzard trapped with a new boyfriend.Kristine shared helpful information on what to do during one of these nasty storms.Do you want some scandalous secrets of the Dairy Queen Blizzard? So that you know, it's not actual ice cream. You will still crave one by the end of the article.NOAA's Winter Forecast ToolsSadly, the dog sweater Kristine was admiring sold. She's obsessed with this but wants it to be $30. Are you a Poshmark seller? DM us your store! The story of Jean Hilliard blew our minds. Here's the audio version if you prefer to listen. It's even an episode of Unsolved Mysteries!Kristine and Danielle were excited to hang out with the incredibly talented, funny, and kind Eliza Skinner. Check out her new podcast 9 Plays 30 Days, her comedy album Regarding My Lovers, and check out  Earth to Ned. If you want more of our episode with Eliza and access to our bonus episodes- check out our Patreon!Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a drug overdose, and actress Rebecca Metz (Better Things, Shameless) joins us to talk about her friends getting caught with drugs at the Canadian border in her car!This week's episode covered drug overdose, and Danielle shared a bunch of helpful information.First, some basic stats on drug overdosesFollow the SAVE ME steps to respond to a suspected drug overdose.Valuable information on how to get Narcan. A study on the effectiveness of Naloxone.Here's a good explainer of the differences between Narcan, Naloxone, etc.If you wondered why fentanyl was seemingly everywhere suddenly, here is a good explainer. Also, not to scare parents of tweens or teens, but it is insanely easy to buy pills off of social media apps like Snapchat, TikTok, Pinterest, Discord, and more we don't know about due to oldness. But here is that emoji cheat sheet we discussed. Alcohol can also be hazardous. Look out for the signs of poisoning.After all this, are you ready for a story? As parents, this is a horror story. Sorry parents, if it makes you feel better, we are scared too.Kristine and Danielle were excited to hang out with the incredibly talented, funny, and kind Rebecca Metz! If you want more of our episode with Rebecca and access to our bonus episodes- check out our Patreon!Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a street fight, and our friend Jesse Thorn joins us to talk about growing up in San Francisco and how he survived a street fight of his own.Do you carry junk on you, like Garon? If so, here's some advice for avoiding getting jumped.However, if nothing works and the street fight is going down, here are some tips for defending yourself in an extreme street fight.Storytime: Kristine shared the epic survival tale of Susan Kuhnhausen and her insane battle with a hitman. Kristine and Danielle were thrilled to welcome radio and podcast legend, Jesse Thorn. You know him from Bullseye, Jodan Jesse Go, and so much more on Maximum Fun. Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the most dangerous creature in the world: the Mosquito and Patton Oswalt joins us to talk about a time he bit it in front of an audience.Getting into the main event, the Nazis of the insect world. Mosquitos!Don't get West Nile Virus. Are you in California and want to know more about those mosquitos that assault your ankles non-stop yet are somehow invisible? Read this.Here's some information on the best mosquito control for your body and yard.Then it was on to one of our favorite segments: Story Time. Here's the full text.Kristine and Danielle were so excited to welcome Patton Oswalt. Patton is touring right now! You can see him this Sunday at Largo, and more dates too. Buy Patton's comic series Minor Threats here.Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive sex, and our guest Lizzy Cooperman joins us to talk about her own harrowing experiences dealing with sex and an undiagnosed illness.Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine discuss childbirth dangers, and comedian Matt Braunger shares his adventures of driving across the country during a pandemic with his newborn daughter.Then it was time to birth this week's topic, How to Survive Childbirth.Here are some typical worries many first-time moms experience.Are you worried about a C-Section, or have one scheduled? The Mayo Clinic is a good resource for specifics.Are you pregnant with twins like Kristine was? You probably know it's different. Are you itching like crazy? Call your OBGYN. This could be cholestasis. Kristine had it (it's more common in women over 35 and twin births).Are you concerned about placenta previa? Here are some signs and symptoms.You do not have to get an epidural, but according to the American Academy of Anesthesiologists, it's safe. Here are some myths about epidurals from UT Southwestern Medical Center.  Kristine met two of her closest friends in her Bradley Method class, so she has no regrets, but she thinks the method puts a lot of pressure on women to give birth naturally and touts many false claims. Birth shaming is real. It's ruining this woman's marriage!For storytime, Danielle shared the story of a woman who had a surprising VBAC. Just goes to show we know our bodies!Kristine and Danielle welcomed Matt Braunger and his cozy flannel as their guest. The funny and talented comedian is touring this spring and summer, so get tickets here. Watch Doug!Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive one of the world's most dangerous animals this week, and Valley Heat's own Emily Maya Mills joins us with a story about surviving one of the world's most dangerous machines!Because of the atmospheric river, Danielle and Kristine touched briefly on flood safety, and if your home was damaged, it could be confusing to know what's covered. Perhaps this article is helpful. One thing is certain: Danielle will never drink a gallon of water daily. After that brief sidebar on flooding, it was time to get into the main event- hippos.Want to see a baby hippo snuggling with her mamma?Are hippos dangerous to humans? Read here!Want the A-Z on hippos? Do you like academic texts? Who doesn't? Here's A LOT of information on hippos if you like to do deep dives on a subject.How to Deal With a Hippo EncounterAnd how about those Cocaine Hippos? And if you can't get enough of cocaine hippos, there is never enough Cocaine Hippos! After covering the world's most dangerous animal (after the two Big M's- Mosquitos, Men), it was our favorite time, STORYTIME! The link also allows you to watch Paul share the story, and he also wrote a book about it. Here's another hippo attack story.Kristine and Danielle were thrilled to welcome Emily Maya Mills as their guest. The multi-talented Mills recently directed the short horror thriller Boohag or Shadowman (36:14), hosts the Frogtown Show, plays Faye on Valley Heat, and much more.Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a worker strike and the wonderful Andy Richter joins us to talk about a time he and his buddy got a little out of control at a party.Danielle shared tons of handy general tips.She discussed the importance of preparation.Danielle also delved into the specifics of the film and television industry.For storytime, Danielle shared The Bread & Roses strike of 1912. If you're interested in the story, you can read more here.Then it was time to dig deep into the topic. Danielle & Kristine went on STRIKE! Danielle shared tons of handy general tips.She discussed the importance of preparation.Danielle also delved into the specifics of the film and television industry.For storytime, Danielle shared The Bread & Roses strike of 1912. If you're interested in the story, you can read more here.D & K were thrilled to have actor, comedian, writer, and Conan sidekick Andy Richter as their guest. Check out his podcast The Three Questions with Andy Richter. Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Here's a new year treat while Danielle, Kristine and Garon are enjoying the holidays: one of our favorite guests Lauren Ash's own podcast True Crime & Cocktails featuring her cohost Christy Oxborrow discussing the Glee Curse!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive an unexpected guest cancelation this week by sharing gifts and discussing whatever comes up.Garon has The Talented Mr. Ripley, so it's an official HTS book club book! Read it if you like well-written books about psychopaths and murder! Here is a fun story about Patricia Highsmith.A Few Resources on Grief...Our lovely friend Rob Delaney wrote this book, "A Heart That Works," about the loss of his son, Henry. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion is a beautiful book.The Strategist has a list of books that includes children's books and how to help children through loss.Our friend, who also recently lost their mother, recommended this podcast episode on grief. Here's an article on how to help someone who is grieving.Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebook Sign up for our newsletter and get entered into fun contests! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine talk about surviving their recent experiences with grief, and we also take some time to deal with the finale of White Lotus. Spoilers!Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebook Sign up for our newsletter and get entered into fun contests! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive parasites, and the wonderful Laura Mannino joins us to share her experiences with failure in Hollywood.In this week's episode, we got into appetite-suppressing territory with a deep dive into How to Survive Parasites.Kristine got some fun information from medicalnewstoday.com.For more details on toxoplasmosis, the mayo clinic's got you covered.Got Pinworms? This is the medicine you need. I recommend mixing it with a few spoonfuls of orange juice to make it less disgusting. Get ready to wash everything in your house and cry a little. Here's some information on Ascaris.Elephantiasis (aka lymphatic filariasis) is dark stuff. You can look at images if you want to see how devastating this disease truly is. Dracunculiasis, also called Guinea-worm disease, is sure to haunt our nightmares for years to come. You can read about the efforts to eradicate this disease here.For our heartwarming parasite story, we shared the story of a man who survived a tapeworm in his brain. Young Garon never imagined he'd have so many shirts dedicated to him. But he's more than just an inspiration for podcast merch. He's also a published author. Check out his work and support!Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebook Sign up for our newsletter and get entered into fun contests! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a carjacking this week, and Euphoria's own Martha Kelly joins us to share her experience of being robbed while delivering a pizza.Danielle returned to an old favorite, The Art of Manliness, for crucial advice on how to avoid being carjacked.Kristine had been uselessly trying to figure out how to call 9-11 with her iPhone while keeping it hidden. Guess what? The geniuses at Apple already solved this problem for her. Here's how to use Apple SOS.If you or your child ever have giant swollen lymph nodes in your neck, here is some practical information.The bump-and-run technique is real. Here's how to protect yourself.  Pepper Spray vs. Pepper Gel- Find out which is right for you.For our story, Danielle shared the harrowing tale of Rebecca Matous, who was carjacked and shot in Daytona Beach after an early morning Walmart run.Check out our Patreon!The NEW  Merchandise is hereInstagramTwitterFacebook Sign up for our newsletter and get entered into fun contests! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive extreme isolation, and the delightful Sharon Houston discusses her nightmare neighbors.Danielle was aided in her research by this article from the BBC,  How Extreme Isolation Warps Minds. And she also got into some of the Covid tips for the Lockdown.Here's a fun article about how the lockdown affected introverts & extroverts differently.Danielle shared the harrowing story of Sarah Shourd, an American imprisoned in Iran in extreme isolation for 410 days. If you'd like to learn more about Sarah's experience, watch the documentary here, CNN also covered the story, and you can learn more about Sarah Shourd at her website.Then it was time for our most excellent guest Sharon Houston. She shared an insane neighbor story for the ages. Have your own nightmare neighbor story you want to share? Email us at podcasthowtosurvive@gmail.com and tell us all about it.The NEW  Merchandise is here!InstagramTwitterFacebook Sign up for our newsletter and get entered into fun contests! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine learn how to Thanksgiving with family, and it's a Dish reunion as the wonderful Danielle Fishel joins us to talk about surviving Thanksgiving with young kids!Since most of us don’t live inside a Nancy Meyers movie, Thanksgiving isn’t that treasured holiday full of warm cozy feelings and LL Bean Sweaters.Maybe you have a toxic family member or members? Well on this episode of HTS, we are going to give you some tips on how to not only Survive this holiday season BUT ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF IT.HTS shared some  tips Courtesy of an Article From Bustle In a Guardian piece by Christina Wyman, she postulates that the obligation to be with family is built into the fabric of American culture. You’ll see it in every Holiday advertisement, movie, and holiday-themed show that fetishizes this idea of the loving nuclear family as opposed to hanging out with friends or going to a movie alone.How to Survive Thanksgiving with a QAnon Family MemberThank you to Vice & Slate for so much fascinating information The number of people sitting down to dinner with family and friends who are believers in QAnon is pretty nuts. The current reports put it at 1 in 5 Americans (41 million) Here is the fascinating story of the woman who was radicalized overnight.Sign up for our newsletter for even more details and to win contests! InstagramTwitterFacebookCheck out our merch!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Danielle and Kristine learned how to survive North Korea this week, and our friend J. Keith van Straaten joins us to talk about when he found himself in the wrong village in Northern Germany.For some history of the world's most repressive regime and the last closed totalitarian state, Human Rights Watch is a great place to start. To understand more about the Cult of Personality and Juche, Vox has a great explainer.Here's an NPR piece that you can listen to or read. A Chilling Look Inside North Korean Prison CampsAnd if you can't get enough, some more about the gulags.First Story of Escape: Shin Dong-hyuk His story is famously told in the book Escape From Camp 14If you want to read about the admitted inaccuracies in his report, this Washington Post piece is excellent.Next Up: The Lover & The DespotThis is a crazy documentary (watch the trailer here) that you can stream on Amazon Prime. This KPCC review has some fun pics, including the one below.There wasn't time to get into this, but Assassins looks insane. You can also hear the incredible story in podcast form.Check out J. Keith van Straaten's podcast!Sign up for our newsletter, get even more details, and enter fun contests! InstagramTwitterFacebookCheck out our merch!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a burning car, and comedy writer Phil Stark joins us to talk about his journey from writing "Dude, Where's My Car?" to his career as a therapist.Here's some helpful general information on car explosions, so you know what to watch out for.What about rising temperatures? Does that affect the danger? Read this!Was this Tesla possessed by the Devil?Here is a brief re-telling of the Pinto's deadly history and the original Mother Jones expose that brought the Pinto down. Remember back in 2016 when those Samsung phones kept exploding? Here's an article that reveals the cause; surprisingly, it wasn't our combined stress hormones. However, it looks like Samsung continues to be plagued by phones catching fire,  and batteries being too swole.We were thrilled to be joined by the therapist and film and television screenwriter Philip Stark for the second half, who shared his story of finding a second career after massive success in Hollywood. Buy his book!Sign up for our newsletter and get entered into fun contests! InstagramTwitterFacebookCheck out our merch! Leave us a review, and consider dropping your Twitter or IG handle so we can personally thank you!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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