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Kump

Author: Ray Kump and Lucie Steiner

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Ray Kump and Lucie Steiner make comedy and chaos out of current events and culture.
233 Episodes
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Ray and Lucie react to the shocking assassination of Charlie Kirk. In a week of chaos, Ray is called a "voice of reason" by Lucie for urging calm instead of violence. The two dive into conspiracy theories, strange public reactions, and the way Americans process political violence.
Ray and Lucie discuss John Bolton's indictment, Mr. Beast's new bank, Republican text leak, and much more. 👉 Patreon – Bonus Episodes Every Week: https://www.patreon.com/raykump👉 Watch Ray on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/raykump
Ep. 232 PEACE IN OUR TIME

Ep. 232 PEACE IN OUR TIME

2025-10-1101:04:07

Ray and Lucie discuss The Nobel Peace Prize, Peace in the Middle East, Greta, Pranks, finding faith, and much more. 👉 Patreon – Bonus Episodes Every Week: https://www.patreon.com/raykump👉 Watch Ray on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/raykump
Ep. 231 REPLACED BY A.I.

Ep. 231 REPLACED BY A.I.

2025-10-0301:05:25

Ray and Lucie discuss Ray's fears of being disappeared by A.I., the truth about Lincoln, The Saudi Comedy Festival, a new kind of war, the Pope's complaints, and much more. 👉 Patreon – Bonus Episodes Every Week: https://www.patreon.com/raykump👉 Watch Ray on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/raykump
Ep. 230 WORLD WAR DEMONS

Ep. 230 WORLD WAR DEMONS

2025-09-2601:04:131

Ray and Lucy spiral through bullet-carving maniacs, bungling terrorists, greasers that never came back, CIA furry propaganda, witches hexing Charlie Kirk, and whether demons might actually run society. From Morocco drone surveillance to World War 4 cyber-hellscapes powered by crushed demon bones.
This week, Ray and Lucie dive into philosophy, paranoia, cartel chaos, and the strange logic of the “doorman fallacy.” From blown-up boats in the Caribbean to escalations with John Higland, from weird weddings to military dark humor, the conversation spirals into madness.
Ray and Lucie escalate the John Higland feud, defend themselves from wild accusations, and explore how AI could be weaponized against them. The conversation spirals into Travis Kelce & Taylor Swift as America’s royal family, Giuliani in dresses, and a shocking proposal to buy the infamous swamp prison Alligator Alcatraz.👉 Support the show & get bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/raykump
Ep. 226 Kump On A List

Ep. 226 Kump On A List

2025-08-2101:07:07

Ray and Lucy update the “Sensei John” situation which has escalated with slander. Ray spirals about eviction, plots basement-dungeon diplomacy, schizophrenia simulators.👉 Patreon: patreon.com/raykump
Ray recounts his bizarre and slightly threatening run-in with “Sensei John,” a self-appointed personal trainer from his building’s basement gym. From unsolicited spotting to unsolicited insults, the saga takes twists through weight loss smack talk, oddball training methods, and the strange business pitch to “motivate” clients with kidnapping threats. Plus, Lucie and Ray dive into the new viral wave of sorority dance videos, the return of the bimbo archetype, and how coordinated cowgirl backflips might save the world — or at least Gaza.🎧 Get bonus episodes every week: https://patreon.com/raykump📱 Follow Ray:X/Twitter: @raykumpInstagram: @raykumpTikTok: @raykump
Ep. 224 Is Kump Alive?

Ep. 224 Is Kump Alive?

2025-08-0801:04:12

Marc Maron is out here talking to Howie Mandel and allegedly coming after Ray Kump for hiring “Navy SEALs” (who may or may not be homeless) to protect himself and his wife at comedy clubs. Ray sets the record straight, breaks down the culture war over grilled meats, shares his recent 17-lb weight drop, and explores the etiquette of acid attacks. This episode is part prison romance tutorial, part security strategy seminar, and full-on mind control operation.Join the Kump Empire.👇 Bonus Episodes Every Weekhttps://patreon.com/raykump
Donald Trump is slamming his own supporters over Epstein conspiracy talk, and Ray is vindicated—just as Coca-Cola reportedly returns to cane sugar. Coincidence?Also in this episode:– The story of Cain and Abel as soda prophecy– A masterclass on carbonated seduction– Why we should’ve been a battery-cutting YouTube channel– The mystery of binders, Dan Bongino, and Epstein– The Mafia, JFK, and coupon book intelligence– Johnny Got His Gun and transhumanist hell– Ray’s proposal for a client list protest in D.C.– Sydney Sweeney’s $1B lingerie deal with Jeff Bezos– Why hobos used to have better style than you– And a nostalgic plea for the return of dignity via haberdasherySubscribe for new episodes every Thursday.Join the Patreon for bonus episodes every week: https://patreon.com/raykump
Ep. 220 Superman vs Epstein

Ep. 220 Superman vs Epstein

2025-07-1501:05:55

We saw James Gunn’s new Superman — and we’re still recovering. Ray breaks down the most deranged scenes, including Superman’s tearful apology tour and his new creepily apologetic vibe with Lois Lane. We get into why the Epstein memo actually dropped this week, the Mongol toddler archer program, Soviet goal-setting efficiency, and what a desk job looks like in the upcoming cannibal labor economy. Plus: Ray’s childhood crabapple trauma, a defense of violent unions, and why Batman is the real intelligence asset.Join the Patreon for weekly bonus episodes:👉 patreon.com/raykumpFollow Ray on Kik (streaming soon):🎥 @raykump
Ep. 219 Bob Vylan Deported?

Ep. 219 Bob Vylan Deported?

2025-07-0401:05:151

Ray celebrates the 4th of July with a look at the Bob Dylan/Bob Vylan mix-up, Zionist fences, and what counts as “punk” in 2025. Also: U.S. visa freakouts, psyop lyricism, Gaza breadlines, the return of Big Beautiful Bill, and the death of Michael Madsen.Plus: Should Ray lie about being at the Freak Off for podcast clout?🎧 Get bonus episodes every week: patreon.com/raykump
Ep. 218 Zohran's Hot Wife

Ep. 218 Zohran's Hot Wife

2025-06-2701:03:26

Zohran Mamdani wins the primary, and the internet explodes over his “hot wife.” Ray dives deep into the discourse—are high boots all it takes now? Plus: the socialist grocery store scam, funeral brothels, Coney Island subway sex fires, Amy Adams slander, and a new plan to sell $30 Madeline Muffins to the masses.Also: Daniel Craig takes a missile to the dome, Americans turn Mecca into a Six Flags, and Lucy’s got a sword to protect her baked goods.🔗 Links & Plugs:🎧 Bonus episodes every week: https://patreon.com/raykump
Ep. 217 Trump's Secret Box

Ep. 217 Trump's Secret Box

2025-06-2201:05:15

President Trump claims he left instructions to “obliterate Iran” if he’s ever assassinated—and KUMP breaks it down. Ray and Lucie unpack the death box, JD Vance’s loyalty, and whether the Pope can rebrand as Jesus Christ the First.Plus: how much war profit should taxpayers get? Should you be able to invest in a nuke startup on Robinhood? What’s the point of Ted Cruz? And why the NYC subway needs Roman-style phalanx shields.Subscribe on Patreon for weekly bonus episodes:👉 https://www.patreon.com/raykump
Israel bombs Iran’s nuclear sites, Ray proposes nukes-for-jobs diplomacy, and the Houthi rebels become UN tech support in Ray’s fantasy global empire. Also: pirates in the desert, Dave & Busters for peace, and why Michelangelo’s David might be hiding a corpse. Plus thoughts on plane crashes, diaper diplomacy, and the Dead Sea.🔥 Get bonus episodes every week on Patreon – patreon.com/raykump
Ep. 215 Trump vs Musk

Ep. 215 Trump vs Musk

2025-06-0601:01:171

Once allies, now adversaries: Ray and Lucie dig into the digital flame war between Donald Trump and Elon Musk—from EV mandates and Epstein tweets to passive-aggressive truths about sperm, submarines, and shadow bans.Also in this episode:– David Portnoy snaps on a Boston MC– Cannibal meal prep and serial killer lakes– Rand Paul’s MAGA savings account– ChatGPT bans and federal AI meltdowns– Guestbooks at Anne Frank’s houseFull weekly bonus episodes at: www.patreon.com/raykump
Ep. 214 Cargo Ship Crash

Ep. 214 Cargo Ship Crash

2025-05-3001:05:38

A Norwegian homeowner calls a cargo ship crashing into his backyard “the best thing that’s ever happened to him.” Ray and Lucie unpack what makes a disaster feel like destiny, then spiral into chaos logic, kiss thefts, cybertruck dread, and Texas commandment law.Also in this episode:– Ray’s federal agent car crash story– MrBeast as the golden calf– Putin’s terms for ending the war– TikTok brain vs. poor people– Trump’s T.A.C.O. strategy– Greg Abbott and the great falling tree– Sermon on the Mount vs. classroom rules
Ep. 213 No More Yolo

Ep. 213 No More Yolo

2025-05-2501:11:50

Ray and Lucie cover an alleged embassy shooting in D.C., OnlyFans influencer arrests, McDonald’s workers who can’t afford McDonald’s, and the slow death of the YOLO economy.Also:– The “Luxury Trash Can” jet– AI producer rage– McDonald’s grill hierarchy– Cheeseburgers in the closet– Wage collapse, sticky economics, and the TikTok attention span crisis– Ray gets choked at work, South African farmers, and possibly a warBonus Episodes: www.patreon.com/raykump
Ep. 212 Air Force Dumb

Ep. 212 Air Force Dumb

2025-05-1601:03:14

Trump is reportedly accepting a $400 million private plane from Qatar. Ray and Lucie break down whether the 13-year-old jet is a gift, a bribe, or a flying trash can.Also in this episode:– Harvard discovers it bought a Magna Carta for $28– Walmart signals price hikes– Trump’s Dubai hotel collapses over forged permits– Birthright citizenship, AI prison plans, and a jerky-based survival modelWeekly bonus episodes at patreon.com/raykump
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Comments (3)

Sean Lawler

the south will fart again

Aug 4th
Reply

nikshikari

you are my new tonic. schweppes the only shit tonic that goes with gin. Bombay Sapphire the only shit gin to go with shit tonic. cushelle the only toilet paper that wipes shit and prevents shit on fingers of shit people.

May 17th
Reply

Jeremy Byar

Ray..its Ellen. I need you and Tim to DJ the upcoming sacrifice. Same time and place. Piss Pigs @ 730 , as always dont reply or contact me. c u there :)

Aug 30th
Reply