Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

How much of what you do every day is really your choice? The food you crave, the shows you watch, the moods you slip into - so much of it is quietly being shaped by invisible influences you probably never notice. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Tatyana El-Kour, a psychologist and registered dietitian who studies how media and technology shape our behavior. She shares how algorithms learn our emotional rhythms - what time of day we’re vulnerable, what kind of content keeps us scrolling - and use that data to steer our choices. We also explore something just as powerful: the invisible influence inside us. Your gut microbiome doesn’t just affect digestion. It can shape your emotions, focus, and even your resilience. This conversation left me thinking deeply about how easily we’re guided by forces we can’t see and how much freedom comes from noticing them. Once you recognize what’s pulling the strings, you can start reclaiming your power, one intentional choice at a time. As you listen, ask yourself: When do I feel most on autopilot? What’s really driving my decisions in those moments? And what would it look like to start choosing differently? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Hidden Power of Invisible Influence 02:00 How Algorithms Shape Your Choices and Emotions 09:30 Emotional Tracking and Predictive Technology 13:30 When Digital Nudges Impact Health and Body Image 18:00 The Psychology Behind Algorithmic Addiction 29:00 Echo Chambers, Polarization, and Cognitive Rigidity 38:00 How to Recognize and Resist Invisible Influence 43:15 The Gut-Brain Connection and Emotional Resilience 55:00 Reclaiming Awareness and Agency If you’re curious about the invisible forces shaping your path, I made something to help you look beneath the surface. My What’s Holding You Back? Quiz is a short, thoughtful tool to help you see what might be standing between you and your next breakthrough. Think of it as a little mirror for your inner world - gentle, honest, and surprisingly clarifying. Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. I share new insights (and sometimes a few behind-the-scenes thoughts) every week. And I’d really love to know what this episode stirred up for you. I always love hearing your takeaways so let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

When trust is broken, everything changes. The person who once felt like your safest place can suddenly feel like a stranger, and finding your way back can feel impossible. In this episode, I’m joined by Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, trained relationship specialists, speakers, and authors of Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time. After a devastating betrayal early in their marriage, they did the hard, courageous work of rebuilding honesty, safety, and connection - not just for themselves, but now for the couples they help heal. We talk about what partner betrayal trauma really looks like, why “just move on” never works, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust after betrayal. From understanding trauma’s impact on your nervous system to creating emotional safety and vulnerability again, this is an honest look at how love can truly recover and grow stronger on the other side. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal 01:30 Meet Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith 05:36 The Hidden Addiction and the Moment of Truth 16:20 Beginning the Recovery Journey 27:00 The Reality of Partner Betrayal Trauma 33:20 Why “Just Move On” Doesn’t Work 43:40 How Trauma Healing Actually Happens 49:20 The Blueprint for Rebuilding Trust 58:00 Finding Purpose and True Intimacy 01:00:45 Where to Find Support and Resources What would it mean to feel safe again in your body, in your relationship, or even within yourself? How do we begin to trust when trust has been broken? And if you’re the one who caused harm, how do you face that truth with compassion and courage instead of shame? If this conversation stirs something in you… maybe memories, questions, or a quiet hope that healing is possible… I have a free resource that can help you take the next step. My Communication That Connects Masterclass was designed to help you move beyond pain and misunderstanding, and start building the kind of emotional safety that real repair depends on.  Let’s stay connected - I share more insights, videos, and real talk about love and growth every week on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I’d also love to hear what resonated for you or what questions you’d like me to explore next. Let’s keep the conversation going - let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

This episode originally aired on April 5, 2021 (Episode 240), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it gave you the clarity you didn’t know you needed. If you’re feeling stuck in your career or wondering whether there’s something more fulfilling out there for you, this conversation is worth revisiting. So many people come to me at a professional crossroads. On paper, things look fine — good job, steady paycheck — but inside, they’re wrestling with harder questions: Is this what I’m meant to be doing? Where’s the meaning? And what would it actually look like to feel passionate about my work? Finding your passion isn’t about flipping a switch. It’s about understanding how you got here, untangling what’s yours from what you were told to want, and designing a career that aligns with who you are now. In this episode, we’re talking about how to get unstuck, how to reflect with purpose, and how to move forward, even when it feels like there are a thousand possible directions and no clear right answer. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Getting Unstuck When You Have Too Many Options 05:12 Career Crossroads: How to Navigate Paralysis and Indecision 11:08 Life Design vs. Job Search: Shifting How We Think About Career 18:39 Finding Your Passion by Reflecting on the Past 27:26 The “Quarter-Life” Crossroads: Making Sense of How You Got Here 30:12 Burnout or Misalignment? How to Tell the Difference 34:45 The 10-Year Vision Exercise That Brings Long-Term Clarity 36:44 Why Big Career Decisions Shouldn’t Happen During Burnout We cover how early life influences, past roles, and even burnout shape your career path, often without you realizing it. And we’ll help you figure out whether you need a new job or a new perspective on the one you already have. What if you stopped pushing through and started getting curious? What would it feel like to move toward a career that fits you, not just the version of you who started years ago? If you’re feeling ready to find your passion and design a career that actually fits, I’d love to support you as you start taking clear, doable steps. Through my Career Clarity Intensive, you can have clarity and confidence about the right next step for you, how to grow professionally and attain what you really want, and actualize the fullness of your potential in your career! The first step: join me for a free coaching call to design your next chapter. Here’s the link to register. And if you want to keep this conversation going beyond the podcast, come find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I’m always sharing tools and insights to help you build a life and career that reflect your values and your worth. And if something from this episode sparked something for you, I’d love to hear how you’re making sense of your path. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

If you’ve ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home.  Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I’m joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts. We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: Why It’s Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship 07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust 10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy 18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs 26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection 30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness 35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick 37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you’re okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself. If communication is adding to the tension, try my Communication that Connects Masterclass. It’s a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away! You might also like my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz. It’s quick, gives you language for what’s happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care. Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

You know that feeling when you look around at the news, your job, your relationships, and everything feels a little out of control? Like no matter what you do, it’s never enough to really make a difference? I get it. So many of us are carrying that quiet sense of powerlessness right now. But here’s the thing: you have more influence than you realize. You’ve just never been shown how to use it. In this episode, I’m talking with Cynthia Rivard, business strategist, and author of A New Breed of Leader, about what it truly means to become influential. Not in the “stand at the front of the room” kind of way, but in the real, human way that changes how you show up for yourself, your relationships, and your community. We’re getting into influential leadership as a way of life - how to lead from within, ripple change outward, and shift from helplessness to hope through small, intentional action. This isn’t about being in charge, but about being conscious, compassionate, and brave enough to start where you are. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why We Feel Powerless & How to Become Influential 03:22 Redefining Leadership: Everyday Influence & Micro Leadership 05:05 Ripple Effects: How Small Actions Shape Others 11:28 Building Trust as the Core of Influential Leadership 13:11 Staying Grounded in Conflict & Division 23:52 Compassionate vs. Authoritative Leadership 25:00 Vision and Action: Breaking Free from Inaction 31:45 Overcoming Analysis Paralysis with Micro Actions 39:03 Enrolling Others in Your Vision 43:29 Key Takeaways on Influential Leadership   If you’ve been feeling ready to show up differently in your relationships, your work, or your life, I’d love to support you as you start putting that influence into action. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, supportive space where you can share what’s been on your mind, whether that’s building confidence, finding your voice, or learning how to lead your life with intention. We’ll help you get matched with the right expert so you can move forward feeling clear, encouraged, and hopeful. I’d also love to stay connected beyond the podcast. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube, where I share stories, reflections, and gentle reminders to help you stay intentional as you lead your own life. And if something from this conversation really hit home, tell me about it - I’d love to hear how you’re using your influence out in the world. Let’s keep this conversation going! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Some women seem to have it all together. They’re confident, capable, and thriving in their careers. Yet when it comes to love… it’s like they’re playing a game with a whole different rulebook. I’ve talked with so many high-achieving women who can handle anything at work (big goals, big responsibilities, big wins) but still feel unsure or unseen when it comes to real connection. In this episode, I’m sitting down with Hilary Silver, clinical therapist, master coach, and host of the Ready for Love podcast. Hilary and I talk about why strong, successful women so often find themselves repeating the same relationship patterns. We get into how old habits of proving, pleasing, and perfecting the ones that helped you rise so high can quietly start working against you when it comes to love. Hilary shares the three roles she sees most often in high achievers: the Pleaser, the Perfectionist, and the Pusher. Each one starts as a way to stay safe, but over time it builds walls that make closeness harder. We talk about what it really takes to lower those defenses, feel solid in who you are, and let love in without losing yourself in the process. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why High-Achieving Women Struggle in Love 01:29 Hilary Silver’s Journey From Therapy to Coaching 08:08 The Hidden Wounds Behind High Achievement 11:08 Protection Prevents Connection: Pleaser, Perfectionist, Pusher 16:20 How Self-Protection Creates Relationship Difficulties 23:33 The Tree Metaphor for Personal Growth 26:08 Coaching vs. Therapy: Choosing the Right Path 31:08 Transformation Stories and Hope for Authentic Love Now, take a moment to reflect. When do you catch yourself working hard to prove your value in love? What parts of you stay tucked away because you’re afraid they won’t be accepted? And what might happen if you stopped trying to earn love and allowed yourself to receive it instead? I’d love to help you take the next step toward deeper, more authentic connection. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, no-pressure space where you can share what’s been on your mind - whether that’s building self-worth, breaking old patterns, or learning how to open your heart again. We’ll help you find the right support so you can move forward feeling clear, encouraged, and hopeful. Come find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share stories, insights, and gentle reminders every week to help you stay grounded and connected as you grow. And if today’s topic brought up a question or an “aha” moment, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s keep talking about this - we’re all learning how to love better, together. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

What do you do when someone you love sees the world so differently from you that every conversation feels tense? When your values and beliefs clash so deeply that you start wondering if you can stay close at all? If you’ve ever found yourself in that tension, between wanting to stay connected and wanting to stay true to yourself, you are not alone. In this episode, I’m talking with Dr. Bill Doherty, a professor, therapist, and co-founder of Braver Angels, about how to navigate hard conversations when politics, cultural influences, or deeply held beliefs divide us. Dr. Doherty shares how the same tools that heal intimate relationships can also strengthen our political communication, especially with the people we care about most. We talk about emotional self-regulation, listening with genuine curiosity, and the courage it takes to connect before you correct. You’ll hear how story and empathy can shift defensiveness into understanding, and how choosing calm over control can keep love alive across even the deepest divides. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction with Dr. Bill Doherty and Braver Angels 02:16 The Origin of Braver Angels Workshops 10:30 Affective Polarization and Its Impact on Relationships 16:07 Media, Social Media, and the Angertainment Industry 21:46 Emotional Regulation and Communication Strategies 30:39 Choosing Whether to Engage or Step Back 32:05 Connect Before You Disagree 37:13 Using “I” Statements and Sharing Personal Stories 42:29 The Stories Behind Our Beliefs 50:21 You Can’t Fight Someone the Same Way When You Know Their Heart Take a moment with me: who in your life do you find hard to talk to about what really matters? What might happen if you stopped trying to convince them and started listening for the experiences that shaped their beliefs? How might that change the way you show up in those moments? If listening today brought up memories of your own hard conversations, especially that ache of wanting to stay close when your differences feel impossible, I have something that can help. My Communication That Connects Free Masterclass is designed to help you move past power struggles and into real understanding. Inside, I’ll walk you through the exact skills that turn tense moments into opportunities for empathy and connection. You’ll learn how to calm reactivity, communicate from the heart, and create emotionally safe conversations - the kind that honor both your truth and your relationship. If this episode got you thinking (or feeling) about your own relationships, come hang out with me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I’m there every week sharing new insights, tools, and little reminders to help you stay grounded and connected - even when life gets messy! And if something from today’s conversation sparked a question or story you want to share, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s keep this conversation going. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Have you ever fantasized about quitting your job, starting your own business, and finally doing something that feels 100% yours? It sounds amazing… until you remember that entrepreneurism also comes with risk, uncertainty, and about a million ways things can go sideways. So what does it really take to be an entrepreneur? In this episode, I’m joined by Melissa Bernstein - entrepreneur, creative, author, mother of six, and co-founder of both the billion-dollar toy company Melissa & Doug and the wellness brand Lifelines. Melissa shares what it really takes to be an entrepreneur: the resilience to weather constant storms, the patience to love the process for years before you see results, and the clarity of purpose that keeps you moving forward when everything feels like it’s falling apart. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Dream vs. Reality of Entrepreneurship 03:50 Start With Curiosity: Research Before You Launch 06:50 From Ingredients to Mission: Let Ideas Simmer 11:59 Resilience in Action: Setbacks, Copycats, and Mindset Shifts 18:22 The 3 Ps: Passion, Patience, and Purpose 20:46 Purpose Over Profit: Building a Legacy Brand 22:10 Patience Pays: A Decade to Real Traction 39:00 Openness to Experience: Beginner’s Mind and “New Eyes” 42:39 Protect Fragile Ideas: Share Only When the Vision Is Clear As you listen, reflect with me: What’s the mission you feel so strongly that you couldn’t walk away from it, even if you tried? Do you love the process of what you want to create enough to stay with it for decades? And are you running toward something that lights you up, or just trying to escape something you don’t like? If this conversation with Melissa got you thinking more deeply about your own path, I would love to help you take the next step. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It is a no-pressure chance to share what has been on your mind, whether that is growing in your career, clarifying your goals, or building more meaning into your work. I believe everyone deserves support as they figure out what is next, and these free consultations are one way I can make that support accessible. My hope is that you leave our time together feeling more clear, more encouraged, and more confident about where you are heading. And let’s not let the conversation stop here. I’m always sharing new insights, encouragement, and little growth tools on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube - but what I really love is hearing from you. Your thoughts and questions often spark future episodes, so if something in this one lit a fire for you, let me know. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

This episode first aired on April 26, 2021 (Episode 243), and I’m bringing it back because so many listeners told me it felt like I was speaking directly to their experience. Living with a partner who always seems angry is confusing, painful, and can leave you feeling constantly on edge. In this episode, I’ll help you understand what’s really happening in that dynamic and share strategies to move back toward safety and connection. Whether you’re in the middle of it now, reflecting on a past relationship, or supporting someone you care about, my hope is that this brings you both clarity and comfort. Anger in relationships is almost always a secondary emotion. Beneath the sharp words or defensiveness, there’s usually hurt, fear, or a longing to feel cared for. I’ll walk you through why trying to shut anger down often makes things worse, how shifting your own responses can change the cycle, and what it really takes to rebuild trust and create space for vulnerability. As you listen, consider: What story have you been telling yourself about your partner’s anger? What might shift if you saw the pain or fear underneath it? And how could you show up in a way that invites connection instead of distance? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Understanding Why Your Partner Always Seems Angry 05:47 The Pursue–Withdraw Cycle in Relationships 11:02 What’s Really Driving Anger in a Relationship 18:03 When Anger Crosses Into Abuse 20:03 How to Rebuild Trust Through Emotional Availability 24:28 Anger as a Secondary Emotion: Hurt and Fear Beneath the Surface 27:03 How Counseling and Support Can Shift Entrenched Patterns 28:06 Recommended Resources for Healing Relationships If you’re tired of replaying the same arguments, I created my Communication That Connects Free Training to help. It’s a crash course in breaking conflict loops and building conversations that bring you closer. It comes with a workbook so you can start practicing right away. You might also love my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It’s quick, but it will give you such a clear picture of your strengths as a couple and the areas that might need more care. Sometimes just naming what’s really going on is the first step to healing. For more ongoing support, join me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube, where I share tools and encouragement every week. And if this episode sparked a question or made you think of a topic you’d like me to cover, I’d love to hear from you - let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

This episode originally aired on May 3, 2021 (Episode 244), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you told me how much it resonated. If you’ve ever struggled with a partner who shuts down or found yourself withdrawing, this one’s worth revisiting. Whether you’re navigating it now, reflecting on the past, or supporting someone you love, I hope it brings clarity and hope. Few things hurt more than reaching for your partner and being met with silence. In this episode, I’m unpacking why people shut down, how it damages connection, and what you can do to change the pattern. We’ll look at the pursue-withdraw cycle, Gottman’s “Four Horsemen,” and why emotional safety is the key to breaking through. You’ll learn how to soften your approach, communicate vulnerably, and rebuild trust - while also considering when it’s time to stop chasing and start filling your own cup.  As you listen, think about how you usually respond when your partner withdraws and what effect that has. Consider what might change if you focused more on creating safety than on pushing for answers. And ask yourself where you could begin creating fulfillment in your own life, instead of waiting for your partner to engage. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction & Why Partners Shut Down 06:00 The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle in Relationships 11:04 The Impact of Withdrawal and Avoidance 13:01 Gottman’s Four Horsemen & The Cost of Stonewalling 15:12 Why Withdrawal Happens & When It’s About More Than You 20:40 Creating Emotional Safety and Communicating Vulnerably 28:04 Positive Reinforcement, Diplomacy & Patience 36:10 Filling Your Own Cup & Breaking the Chase Cycle If you’d like more support as you work on these skills, check out my Communication That Connects Free Training. It’s designed to help you move out of conflict loops and into conversations that bring you closer, and it comes with a workbook to guide you through the process. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for quick insight into what’s working well and where you might want to focus your growth. Let’s stay connected beyond the podcast. I share more tools and encouragement every week on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. And I’d love to hear from you if this episode sparked a question, gave you an idea for a future topic, or made you think about your relationship in a new way - let’s talk! And a special thank you to the sponsor of today’s episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but I don’t always have time to sit down with a book. The Headway app makes it easy to keep growing with bite-sized summaries of the best titles out there, and I use it almost every day. If you’d like to try it, you can save 25% at makeheadway.com/lhs with the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever been totally into someone and then suddenly… you get the ick? One minute you’re feeling the spark, the next you’re questioning everything over something as small as flip-flops. Getting the ick can feel like a dealbreaker, but does it really mean your relationship is doomed - or is it pointing to something deeper inside of you? In this episode, I talk with therapist and journalist Matt Hussey about what the ick really is, why it shows up, and how to handle it without panicking or shutting down. We’ll look at the biology of disgust, the ways old hurts and perfectionism can shape our reactions, and how curiosity can transform that “ugh” moment into an opportunity for growth and connection. Matt also points out (as he shared in Vogue) that sometimes the ick is less about your partner and more about self-protection. Instead of working through discomfort or vulnerability, we latch onto surface-level quirks. Understanding that difference between a fleeting ick and a real red flag can help you respond with clarity instead of fear. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What Is the Ick? 03:00 Getting the Ick in Modern Relationships 11:13 Why Curiosity Matters More Than Snap Judgments 22:07 Self-Protection, Trauma, and the Ick 29:15 How to Handle the Ick in Relationships 38:29 Avoidant Attachment and the Ick 44:10 Fantasy vs. Reality in Love Reflect with me for a moment: What has triggered the ick for you in the past? Did it reveal something about your partner, or did it say more about what was happening inside of you? And how might curiosity change the way you respond the next time those feelings come up? If you’d like more support around communication and connection, check out my Communication That Connects Free Training and take the How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear snapshot of what’s working and what could use care. And let’s stay connected - join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, where I share more tools to help you grow in love and life. If this episode sparked a question or an idea you’d like me to explore next, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! I also want to thank today’s sponsor, Headway. As much as I love books, finding time to read isn’t always realistic. That’s why I use the Headway app - it gives me key takeaways from incredible books in minutes. I use it almost every day as part of my own growth. You can save 25% when you go to makeheadway.com/lhs and use promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Have you ever felt stuck between knowing what you should do and actually following through? That gap between intention and action isn’t a character flaw - it’s your brain running old programs. What if you could rewrite them? That’s exactly what I explored with Dr. David Spiegel, pioneer in clinical hypnotherapy research, author, and founder of the Reveri self-hypnosis app. He breaks down how hypnosis isn’t mind control or stage tricks, but a focused state of attention that helps you get out of your own way and create real change in your sleep, eating, weight, pain, stress, and habits. We talk about the science of self-hypnosis, why it works when insight alone doesn’t, and how technology is making it accessible to everyone. Dr. Spiegel also guides me (and you) through a live mini-session so you can feel what it’s like yourself. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome: Dr. David Spiegel 02:00 What Hypnosis Really Is (and Isn’t) 07:30 How Hypnosis Rewires the Brain and Reduces Pain 13:00 Self-Hypnosis for Smoking Cessation and Habit Change 20:00 Hypnosis vs. Meditation 26:00 The Reveri Self-Hypnosis App 33:00 Brain Science Behind Hypnosis 38:00 Using Hypnosis for Anxiety, Phobias, and Pain 47:00 Final Thoughts and Dr. Spiegel’s Mission What would change if you stopped relying on willpower alone and started using your brain’s own hidden tools for healing and growth? If you’ve been feeling stuck and aren’t sure why, my What’s Holding You Back? Quiz can help you uncover the hidden patterns, beliefs, or behaviors that might be silently sabotaging your progress. It’s a quick, eye-opening way to gain clarity and take the first step forward. And let’s stay connected beyond the podcast - I’m sharing new tools and insights every week on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. If this episode sparked a question or an idea you’d like me to cover in the future, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self P.S. Before we wrap up, I want to thank the sponsor of today’s episode, Headway. We’ve been talking about the power of self-hypnosis to rewire your mind, and for me, reading is another way I open myself up to new perspectives. But life is busy, and I don’t always have the time to curl up with a full book. That’s why I love Headway. It takes the best books on psychology, personal growth, and beyond, and distills them into bite-sized insights I can actually fit into my day. I use it every morning, and it’s such a simple way to keep growing. And the best part? You can save 25% when you go to makeheadway.com/lhs and use code LHS. Here’s to learning, healing, and creating the kind of change that lasts. 🌱

Have you ever said you’re “anxious” or “burned out,” only to realize those words don’t really capture what’s happening inside you? The way we label our emotions shapes how we experience them — and when the language is off, so is our path to healing. In this episode, I’m joined by author, creator, and mindfulness expert Case Kenny to talk about how mindfulness becomes powerful and practical when it’s rooted in language. Case shares how guided journaling and emotional vocabulary can help you move past vague “forest words” into precise truths that open the door to optimism, self-trust, and more authentic connections. We also dig into how so-called “negative” emotions — what I like to call dark emotions — aren’t obstacles to avoid but important signals that can strengthen your growth and your relationships. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction to Intentional Living and Mindfulness 01:06 The Power of Emotional Vocabulary 06:01 Guided Journaling for Emotional Clarity 15:22 Rethinking Settling Down in Relationships 20:05 Emotional Priming and How Language Shapes Experience 23:04 Building Self-Trust and Emotional Resilience 33:02 Embracing Dark Emotions for Growth 35:16 Communication and Emotional Connection in Love If this conversation left you thinking, “I want to do this work in my own life,” I’d love to help. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team, and we’ll match you with the right expert for your goals. Whether you’re ready to deepen your self-awareness, work through old patterns, or create more authentic connections, we’ll give you the guidance and resources to start moving forward with clarity and confidence. And let’s keep the conversation going: join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube for weekly tools and encouragement. If this episode sparked a question or idea you’d love me to cover in the future, let’s talk! Before we wrap up, I want to share something that’s been such a great companion to the kind of mindful growth we talked about today. You know I’m all about finding practical ways to keep learning, but with a busy life it can be hard to carve out quiet hours with a book. That’s why I’ve been loving the Headway app. It distills the big ideas from some of the best books into quick, actionable insights you can take with you right away. I’ve made it part of my own morning routine, and it’s such an easy way to keep stretching your mind every day. And here’s the best part — you can try it for yourself and save 25%. Just head to makeheadway.com/lhs and use code LHS. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever had a boss who left you walking on eggshells, never sure what mood they’d bring into the office? Maybe they humiliated people in meetings, lashed out without warning, or drained you so much that you came home with nothing left for yourself. A bully boss can affect far more than your workday. In this episode, I’m talking with Mita Mallick, speaker, workplace strategist, coach, and bestselling author. She’s sharing stories from her own career and what she’s learned about surviving toxic leaders - from executives who throw shoes to managers who use “toxic positivity” as a weapon. Mita also offers strategies for spotting warning signs in an interview, building an exit plan that protects your career, and regaining your confidence once you’ve left. We also explore the patterns that keep people stuck in unhealthy workplaces: how old experiences can shape what we tolerate, why many of us think we can “outwork” a bad boss, and what it really takes to reclaim your well-being. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 How Toxic Jobs Affect Your Life 00:43 Meet Mita Mallick: Speaker, Strategist, and Author 01:22 Surviving Abuse from a Bully Boss 07:16 Workplace Trauma and Mental Health 18:02 How to Spot Red Flags in Job Interviews 28:34 Types of Toxic Bosses and Their Behaviors 38:25 Exit Strategies and Rebuilding Confidence If you’d like more support beyond this conversation, you’re welcome to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. We can help you make thoughtful career decisions, strengthen boundaries, and protect your mental health at work. I also encourage you to check out Mita’s new book, The Devil Emails at Midnight: What Good Leaders Can Learn from Bad Bosses. You can connect with her directly on LinkedIn and Instagram to keep learning from her insights on leadership and workplace culture. And of course, you can always stay connected with me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, where I share weekly tips and encouragement. I’d love to hear your thoughts - your questions and feedback always help shape future episodes. Let’s talk! I also want to extend a big thank-you to Headway for sponsoring this episode. Headway helps me keep growing, even on the busiest days, by making it possible to learn from the world’s top books in just minutes. I use it every day. I truly love it, and I think you will too. Save 25% when you go to ⁠⁠makeheadway.com/lhs⁠⁠ and use the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I don’t know if I should stay, and I don’t know if I should go”? That painful in-between is called relationship ambivalence, and it can quietly drain years of your life if you don’t get clarity. In this episode, I’m joined by relationship researcher Dr. Merideth Thompson, who knows that limbo all too well. After staying stuck for nearly a decade, she created Partner Lab, a research-based company focused on improving relationships as a cornerstone of overall wellness. Together we’ll explore what the science says about relationship health, the “Clarity Matrix” she developed to cut through the fog, and the real-life questions that matter most when deciding whether to stay or leave. We also talk openly about staying “for the kids,” how familiar but unhealthy dynamics keep us hooked, and why actions, not words, show you whether your partner is really invested. Our goal isn’t to tell you whether to stay or go. It’s to give you the clarity and confidence to trust yourself again. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Should I Stay or Leave My Relationship? 01:43 Dr. Merideth Thompson’s Story and the Birth of Partner Lab 03:34 Research Insights on Relationship Health 09:51 The Clarity Matrix: Influence, Control, and Deal Breakers 14:06 Communication, Conflict Resolution, and Commitment 18:31 Discernment Counseling: Knowing If Change Is Possible 20:24 Actions Speak Louder Than Words in Relationships 28:02 Finding Clarity and Validation in Ambivalence 36:06 Parenting, Divorce, and Protecting Children 44:11 The Clarity Circle: Community and Support Want more support as you practice these skills? My free Communication That Connects Training will give you tools to shift out of conflict loops and into deeper connection, along with a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear picture of what’s working and what needs care. I’d love to stay connected beyond the podcast - join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube where I share more tools to help you grow together. And if this episode sparked a question or idea you’d like me to explore in the future, let’s talk! I'd also like to give a very special thank you to the sponsor of today’s episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but finding the time to sit down with a book can feel impossible. That’s why I’m a huge fan of the Headway app. I use it almost every day, and it’s been a true game-changer for my personal growth. If you want to keep learning and growing right alongside me, I have an exclusive offer for you! Save 25% when you go to ⁠⁠makeheadway.com/lhs⁠⁠ and use the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Do you ever feel like life is harder for you than it is for everyone else? On the outside you’re smart, capable, and creative. But inside you feel overwhelmed, scattered, and constantly behind. That could be a sign of undiagnosed ADHD. In this episode, I’m talking with Shanna Pearson, Founder and President of Expert ADHD Coaching, about how ADHD often shows up in women, why it’s so frequently mistaken for anxiety or depression, and the lifelong impact of being misunderstood. We also share practical tools to help you externalize the chaos in your mind and stay present with the people you love. As you listen, reflect on this: 🌱 Have you carried a quiet sense of being “different” without knowing why? 🌱 How often do you feel overwhelmed by things that seem easy for others? 🌱 What would shift if you saw those struggles through the lens of ADHD? If you’ve ever thought, “What’s wrong with me?” - nothing is wrong with you. Understanding your brain is the first step toward compassion, clarity, and lasting change. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Undiagnosed ADHD in Women 01:36 Shanna Pearson’s ADHD Story 09:26 Inattentive vs Hyperactive ADHD 13:24 ADHD Misdiagnosis: Anxiety & Depression 17:17 What a Real ADHD Assessment Looks Like 22:05 Managing Overwhelm and Prioritizing 48:47 Pills Don’t Teach Skills If you’d like more support beyond this episode, you’re welcome to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. Many of our coaches have completed advanced ADHD training, so you’ll be matched with someone who understands these challenges and can provide tailored strategies to help you thrive. And if today’s conversation resonated with you, I highly recommend Shanna Pearson’s new book, Invisible ADHD. It’s filled with over a hundred practical tools and strategies to help you navigate life with more ease and confidence. You can also stay connected with me between episodes on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, where I share weekly tips and encouragement. And I’d love to hear from you - your questions and feedback always help shape future episodes. Let’s talk! I'd also like to give a very special thank you to the sponsor of today’s episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but finding the time to sit down with a book can feel impossible. That’s why I’m such a fan of the Headway app. I use it almost every day, and it’s been a true game-changer for my personal growth. With Headway, I’m able to absorb the key insights from incredible books in minutes, instead of weeks. If you want to keep learning and growing right alongside me, I have an exclusive offer for you! Save 25% when you go to ⁠makeheadway.com/lhs⁠ and use the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever had a blow-up with your partner and then sat in that heavy silence wondering what to do next? This episode is your guide to how to make up after a fight—and the real skill that keeps love strong: repair. Happy couples don’t avoid conflict; they learn how to come back to each other with intention, humility, and care. We’ll look at why “never go to bed angry” is a myth (your brain actually needs space to calm down), how self-reflection helps you share your feelings without blame, and why small repair bids—like saying, “Yesterday was rough, can we talk tomorrow?”—can open the door to understanding. I’ll also share ways to use your couple strengths, whether it’s touch, shared rituals, or humor, to restore warmth and connection. Repair takes practice, and each attempt adds another layer of strength to your relationship. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: How to Make Up After a Fight 02:00 Why Relationship Repair Matters 06:07 The Anatomy of a Repair Attempt 12:07 Repairing After a Bad Fight 21:05 Communicating Effectively With Your Partner 28:07 Using Strengths to Reconnect 37:12 Humility, Growth, and Mindset Shifts 41:08 Free Resources & Next Steps Reflect with me: 🌱 When do you know it’s time to pause instead of pushing through? 🌱 What do you wish your partner understood about your feelings in that moment? 🌱 Which strengths could you lean on to reconnect after hard moments? Want more support as you practice these skills? My Free Communication That Connects Masterclass gives you tools to shift out of conflict loops and into conversations that bring you closer, along with a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear picture of what’s working and what needs care. I’d love to stay connected beyond the podcast. Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, where I share more tools to help you grow together. And if this episode sparked a question or idea you’d like me to explore in the future, I’d love to hear from you—let’s talk! I'd also like to give a very special thank you to the sponsor of today’s episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but finding the time to sit down with a book can feel impossible. That’s why I’m such a fan of the Headway app. I use it almost every day, and it’s been a true game-changer for my personal growth. With Headway, I’m able to absorb the key insights from incredible books in minutes, instead of weeks. If you want to keep learning and growing right alongside me, I have an exclusive offer for you! Save 25% when you go to ⁠makeheadway.com/lhs⁠ and use the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever felt like you just can’t win? If you’re too nice, people don’t take you seriously. If you’re too direct, suddenly you’re “too much.” For so many women, this double bind — rooted in gender double standards — is exhausting. My guest, Dr. Kate Mason, calls this out for what it is: a trap. We’ve been sold the lie that you can either be likable or powerful, but not both. And we’re here to burn that old playbook and create something better. Kate shows us how likeability isn’t weakness at all — it’s actually a form of power. But when it tips into people-pleasing and what she calls “imposing syndrome,” we start shrinking ourselves, downplaying our ideas, and apologizing for existing. On the flip side, many women hold back for fear of being labeled aggressive, bossy, or difficult. So how do you walk that tightrope without losing yourself? That’s what we’re unpacking in this conversation. You’ll learn how to recognize the subtle ways you undermine your own authority, how to communicate with both warmth and strength, and how to create a personal style of relating that feels authentic to you. Because the truth is, you don’t have to choose between being liked and being respected. As you listen, I’d love for you to reflect: 🌱 When do you catch yourself softening your words so you won’t “impose”? 🌱 Where are you still carrying old stories about what power “should” look like? 🌱 And what might change if you gave yourself permission to claim both likability and authority on your own terms? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Likability Trap and Gender Double Standards 01:54 Kate Mason’s Story and the Myth of Two Options 05:01 Likability as Power vs. People-Pleasing 06:05 Imposing Syndrome and How We Minimize Ourselves 13:05 Practical Tools: Personal Audits and Self-Awareness 20:00 Breaking the Binary: Authentic Relating Beyond Gender Roles 34:01 Case Study: Transforming Voice, Posture, and Confidence 43:05 How to Develop Likable Power in Everyday Life If you’d like more support beyond this episode, you’re welcome to book a free consultation with me or a member of my team. We’ll connect you with the right expert for your goals and send you a personalized set of free resources to help you move forward in your career, relationships, or personal growth. You can also stay connected with me between episodes on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, where I share new tips and encouragement every week. And I’d love to hear from you — your questions, feedback, and ideas for future episodes always help shape these conversations. Let’s talk! And if you’d like to connect with Dr. Kate Mason, you can find her on Instagram and LinkedIn. Be sure to check out her new book, Powerfully Likeable, coming September 9th — you can pre-order your copy now to dive even deeper into the ideas we explored today. I'd also like to give a very special thank you to the sponsor of today’s episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but finding the time to sit down with a book can feel impossible. That’s why I’m such a fan of the Headway app. I use it almost every day, and it’s been a true game-changer for my personal growth. With Headway, I’m able to absorb the key insights from incredible books in minutes, instead of weeks. If you want to keep learning and growing right alongside me, I have an exclusive offer for you! Save 25% when you go to makeheadway.com/lhs and use the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

This episode originally aired on April 3, 2023 (Episode 343), and we’re bringing it back because it resonated with so many of you. Whether you’re reflecting on a past relationship, navigating one right now, or supporting clients through these dynamics, the lessons are worth revisiting. Why are people with anxious attachment styles and avoidant attachment styles drawn to each other? Can anxious-avoidant relationships work, and most importantly, can they be healthy and satisfying? Yes, they can. But the key is through your understanding of yourself, and of your partner. When you develop true understanding and empathy for your differences, you can create profound connection, and a genuinely secure and healing relationship for both of you. This episode is going to show you how. If you’re in an anxious-avoidant relationship, or have been in one before, I hope it helps you understand these dynamics from a new perspective, and empowers you to move toward greater connection and security. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Attachment Styles Matter   02:42 Core Conflict: Desire for Closeness vs. Space   07:04 The Push-Pull Dynamic of Anxious and Avoidant Partners   11:08 Can Anxious-Avoidant Relationships Be Healthy?   16:09 Finding Compatible Partners & Building Security   17:02 Strategies for Anxious Attachment   18:06 Strategies for Avoidant Attachment   33:04 Why Anxious and Avoidant Partners Are Drawn Together   42:05 Avoidant Discomfort with Closeness & Anxious Pursuing Behaviors   45:06 Doing the Work: Self-Awareness and Self-Management   49:04 Practical Tools for Avoidant Partners   55:00 True Love as a Conscious Choice   Want to know where your relationship stands today? Try my free How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It gives you quick insights into what’s working well and where you might want to focus your growth together. If this resonated with you, let’s keep it going. I share more relationship advice and tools on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, and I’d love to hear your thoughts too, whether it’s feedback on the show, questions about past episodes, or ideas for what you’d like me to cover next. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

“Am I falling behind in life?” If you’ve ever looked around and thought everyone else is getting married, buying houses, and having babies while you’re still figuring things out, you’re not alone. In this episode, we’re getting real about that sinking, lonely feeling that comes when your life stage doesn’t match your friends’. We’ll talk about why there’s no one “right” timeline, how to get out of the comparison trap, and ways to reconnect with your sense of self-worth no matter where you are right now. I’ll share five steps to help you make peace with your path, let go of judgment (yours and theirs), and create the kind of connections that actually feel good. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why You Might Feel Behind in Life 03:36 Feeling Out of Sync With Life Stages 05:00 Escaping the Comparison Trap 10:00 How Values and Circumstances Shape Life Timelines 18:00 Grieving Changes in Friendships 26:00 Overcoming Self and External Judgment 41:00 How to Cultivate New Relationships as an Adult 49:00 Keeping Old Friends Without Losing Yourself What would change if you stopped measuring your life against someone else’s milestones? How might it feel to find friends who truly get you in this season? And what old connections might be worth keeping in a different way? If you’re ready for more support beyond this episode, you can book a free consultation with me or a member of my team. We’ll match you with the right expert for your goals and send you a tailored set of free resources to help you start creating the changes you want in your relationships, your career, or your personal growth. I’m also sharing new tips, insights, and encouragement every week on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube to help you feel confident in your path and connected in your relationships. And I’d love to hear from you. Your feedback, your questions about past episodes, and the topics you’d like me to cover next are always welcome. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self 🌱