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Open relationships. Now, you can clutch them pearls and raise those eyebrows all you want to, but this conversation is not going away - especially not in America.  Using two separate samples based on the U.S. Census, researchers found that one-fifth of the population in the United States has engaged in consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lives and if the trend continues, the only place this number is going is up. So… are open relationships the bandaid, the cure or the curse of our generation? And furthermore, how do you actually start one? Like for real? Let’s talk about it on this episode of Lovers and Friends. We have a loaded conversation between our starring guests on this episode, Swaggy C and Bayleigh. A married couple with a new baby, but an old, inactive desire to explore consensual non-monogamy within their marriage. There are a lot of themes to pull from this interview like: what happens when non-monogamy is one person’s yum and the other’s yea I guess if that will make you happy… OR the dangers of using non-monogamy as a punishment for unfulfillment… OR the joys/ struggles of having a partner who is supportive of your desires, but not all the way cooperative. However what stood out to me in this episode is how to go from being curious to actually being actively open...for real. FOLLOW THE GUESTS ON THIS EPISODE Follow Bayleigh: Follow Chris “Swaggy C”: Follow Dr. Monica: THANKS TO THE SPONSOR OF THIS EPISODE BET Watch Zatima starring Crystal Renee Hayslett and Devale Ellis by joining the millions who stream Black culture at Better Help Discover your potential with BetterHelp. for 10% off your first month.  Hello Fresh Try America’s #1 Meal Kit for yourself. Get 60% off plus free shipping.  Http:// Dipsea Explore your fantasies or get inspired with a 30 day free trial now. Follow Shan: Open relationship reading list From Dr. Monica:  IG Educational Pages  ·      Evita Sawyers | @lavitaloca34 ·      Chanee Jackson Kendall | @chaneespeaks ·      Jhen | @monogamishpod ·      Kevin Patterson | @polyrolemodels ·      @polyamouraousblackgirl ·      Leanne Yau | @polyphiliablog   Books  ·      Pre-Order | A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections for the Consensually Non-monogamous | Evita Sawyers ·      Love is Not Colorblind | Kevin Patterson ·      Polysecure | Jessica Fern ·      The Ethical Slut | Hardy & Easton  ·      More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory | Ricket & Veaux ·      Polyamory & Jealousy | Ricket & Veaux
Becky G is an award-winning, chart topping, international superstar who has always been grateful for her life, but at one point, hated herself and the experience of being alive. In order to get out of that dark place and to get the clarity she needed to heal she knew she needed a superhero, but what she didn’t know is “that hero” would ultimately need to be herself. In this episode Becky G candidly shares how learning to love herself, advocate for her needs and set boundaries has opened up a world of abundance, power, and arguably most importantly, self compassion.  Follow Becky G You can still watch old episodes of Becky’s Facebook Watch Show: Face to Face with Becky G AND OF COURSE WATCH THESE INTERNETS FOR BECKY’S COACHELLA PERFORMANCES THIS APRIL! And if you came here looking for quick links to the incredible sponsors of this episode, we got you!  EveryPlate  Use Code: Lovers149 Lomi: Use Code: Lovers BET Watch Zatima starring Crystal Renee Hayslett and Devale Ellis by joining the millions who stream Black culture at Follow Shan:
Does making friends get harder as you get older?  How the hell do I make friends? According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021,  a lot of people are not  satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have. If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond.  So how long does it take to make a new friend? -50 hours of time before you consider them a casual friend  - 90 hours before becoming real friends  - 200hours- before becoming close friends  - source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships'  As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments. In this episode I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs and the work it takes to make them work.  A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMFT and Danielle Byard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert for lending their expertise on forming friendships.  Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.  ZocDoc: Ritual for 10% off your first 3 months  Follow the guests on this episode: Follow Shan: Follow Krista: Follow Tabia: Follow Danielle Bayard-Jackson Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFT
In this episode, I am answering 10 questions submitted by YOU, allll about sex!  I am looking forward to making more Q+A episodes, so feel free to submit your questions around sex, love and dating.  Huge thank you to the sponsors of this episode Ritual  Use code Lovers for 10% your order for 3 months.  Http:// Follow Shan: Follow Jared:  Http://
Lauren Jauregui talks about breaking things off with Ty Dolla Sign, writing Always Love, holistically healing and then finding real love again with another woman. Lauren Jauregui rose to prominence as a member of the girl group Fifth Harmony, which became one of the best- selling girl groups of all time. Since then, she has gone on to release her solo projects “Expectations” and “Prelude.” Lauren has also collaborated with Steve Aoiki, Halsey, Tainy (Tiny), and Ty-Dolla Sign whom she publicly dated for about 2 years.  Her hit, Always Love, pays homage to the end of her relationship with Ty and in this episode we get under the covers of that song to discuss the reason for the split, the lessons from that love lost and the discoveries she's made about who she is and what she needs since. Follow @Laurenjauregui on all social media platforms If you are an international listener, catch her on tour starting in March Listen to “Always Love” the single and her project “Prelude” which are out now Thank you to the sponsors of this episode MAGIC SPOON Go to to grab a variety pack and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code LOVERS at checkout to save five dollars off your order! DIPSEA For listeners of Lovers and Friends, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to BETTER HELP Visit to get 10% off your first month BUMBLE Download Bumble in your App Store and put yourself first when you look for love. Also, learn how Bumble can help make your search simpler and more satisfying at by clicking on "The Buzz"
In this episode, I talk about the 10 soulmates we may encounter over the span of our lives. Thanks for being patient with me this week on this episode. Promise to do better! Here are the 10 types of soulmates. The Stranger Soul Mate - unrequited love is still love. We needed them, we loved them, we were certain we were destined to marry them and they barely remember our last name. The black hole Soul Mate -  the person that we lost ourselves and our sensibilities to (usually our first requited soul mate experience) The Almost doesn’t count Soul Mate - the person who checked all the boxes but couldn’t light your fire (or vice versa) The Only If They… Soul Mate The Stay with you Forever but Stay Away From Me Forever Soul Mate - the person you’ll never truly be over even though it’s definitely over The one that got away - the good guy/ girl who you blew it with and now they’re happy with someone else The Rip Tide Soulmate - the relationship that preys on your needs, insecurities, weakness’ and fears. The prototype Soulmate - the person you are so sure is your one but upon further inspection you realize is just a beautiful imposter who taught you what you really needed to know about what you need out of love The Muse Soulmate - the person who’s meant to teach you about love/ connection, but not give it to you (usually a crush you never get a shot with) The Love of my Life soulmate- the relationship that allows you to be your best self and love at a higher frequency. A love marked by self insight, happiness, individual growth and true mutuality. Thanks to the sponsors of this episode! Babbel! Http:// Bumble: Download the Bumble app today for free! Hello Fresh! Http:// Follow Shan:
Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone of the same sex? How do you navigate re-orienting or re-navigating your sexual orientation after a queer experience?  That is exactly what we are breaking down in this episode. Our starring guest is singer, songwriter Kiana Lede.  Kiana is an Arizona born actress, singer and songwriter who burst into the scene with her Youtube series dubbed “Soulfood Sessions”. Her cover of Hotline bling went viral in 2016. Since then Kiana has released 2 Studio EPs, over a dozen singles, and a 17 track debut album which debuted at #30 on the Billboard 200 in 2020. Her music has featured artists like Offset, Ari Lennox and BLACK.  Her music has a way of laying out sexual exploration and liberation,  Her latest project, a mixtape titled “unfinished” pays tribute to her late friend Azuma. Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. or Download the Bumble App Http:// Http:// Follow Shan: Follow Kiana:
Celibacy, abstinence, sex strike, sexlessness, dry spell ….call it what you may but we can all agree is challenging.  This week we are joined by Stephan Speaks- one of the most popular voices in the relationship education space. Stephan has devoted himself to a life of celibacy on more than one occasion: first run with the intention to connect with God, second to connect with his God-given purpose and now he finds himself conflicted between looking for the clarity that celibacy seemed to give him before and longing for the intimacy he desires as a healthy, single, eligible bachelor.  Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. Dipsea! Whether you want to energize your sex life for yourself, a lover or so you can channel that energy elsewhere, try tuning into Dipsea because listeners of Lovers and Friends, get a 30 day free trial! Go to Links to episode clips that were featured in this episode. Glo Atanmo: Tanarelle: Rachel Lindsay: Sex Strike: Follow Shan: Follow Stephan Speaks:
On your journey to find and keep love (if this is your wish) have you ever felt like maybe you are meant to stay single forever? That is how this week’s guest, Glo Atanmo aka Glo Graphics on IG felt throughout most of her life. She was used to not being any man's first choice only to later date 12 quality men at once. Then in 2022, she embarked on her pursuit of finding her forever love.  She is now openly sharing her love story with her millions of followers online.  In this episode, she breaks down what the journey looked like and how she pursued an intentional dating season that led her to her lover. Research article by Lachlan Brown for HackSpirit called “I can’t find love”. - 20 things to remember if you feel this is you”.  You’re not really looking You’re list of wants in a partner is too long You’re in the wrong place You believe too much in soul mates and destiny You’re still not over your ex (intimate idealization) You don’t know what people want from you/ you don’t want to give it You have unresolved childhood issues You feel like you unconditionally deserve love You try way too hard You’re not being your true self You don’t know how to play the game You take dating for granted (entitlement issues) You sabotage relationships Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.  ZocDOC:  Go to and download the  Zocdoc app for FREE.  Babbel:  Get up to 55% off your subscription by going to Magic Spoon:  Get 5$ off your order by going to Follow Shan: Follow Glo:
Are drinking games for lovers or losers? Does alcohol make sex better and wetter or dryer and dimmer?  A study by Kathryn Lakeland of Femfresh found that 75 per cent of women said they liked to drink before getting into bed with their husband or boyfriend. In this episode we ask those in the 75 per cent to examine if this is a powerful or limiting decision. Many share that alcohol makes them feel confident, flirty and powerful, but also less aware, less excited and more prone to regrettable decisions.  My guest on this episode, ‘Drinking Games’ Author,  Sarah Levy once described being drunk on dates as a mandatory activity that made her feel like she had warm honey in her veins. Now, she is 5 years sober and ready to tell the world why.  In this episode, I am also joined by licensed therapist Erica Lubetkin who specializes in anxiety and addiction. Erica breaks down how alcohol can momentarily spike dopamine in your system, but the lasting effects are not so good.  This podcast is intended to spark hard-to-have conversations in your romantic and sexual life that lead to powerful shifts. I genuinely believe this episode delivers on that promise because we are talking about some powerful shit - alcohol.  Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Better Help!  Visit for 10% off your first month. Follow Shan: Follow Sarah: Follow Erica:
This week's question is : What does it mean to be safe in a relationship? Safety in a relationship looks different for everyone.  Our starring guest this week Nick Viall and I talked about a lot, but underneath it, I think this is the core of it… 1) How love hasn’t been safe in the past and 2) how he’s redefining safety within in his new relationship: one that has external threats in the form of public opinion because that’s what fortunately unfortunately happens when two people attempt to share one life" And now Nick is redefining what safety in a relationship means to him. Which leads to asking you “What does romantic safety mean to you?” “Any aha moments after listening to this episode?” Follow Shan: Follow Nick: Please help us in showing love to our incredible sponsors by clicking these links to learn more.  Download the ZocDoc app for free. For 10% off during your first 3 months with Ritual, go to For 55% off your Babble subscription.
Who did you become last year? What is something you could not do last year that you want to be able to do by year's end? Shan Boodram shares how 2022 - the most transformative, miserable, lucrative and full year of her life - is grounding her 2023 with these twenty questions in mind. Who did you become? What was the single best thing that happened this past year? What was the single most challenging thing that happened? What is one change you made that improved the quality of your life? What was an unexpected obstacle? What  can you give yourself credit for this year? Were you dishonest with yourself or others last year? What’s your most memorable story What were the best books you read this year? Who poured into you this year, who do you want to thank? What’s something you couldn’t do a year ago that you can do today? What’s something you want to be able to say you can do a year from now that you can’t do yet? What promise do you keep breaking to yourself? What promise will you make to yourself this year? What was the most enjoyable part of your work? What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)? What was the best way you used your time this past year? What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?  What one word or intention do you hope will define your 2023? What was biggest thing you learned this past year?  What would you do this next year if you knew you could not fail? Thank you to our sponsor Hello Fresh! There is a reason why Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit and you can find out for yourself with this incredible offer!  Go to and use code lovers21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping!  One more time, incase you need that to sink in...  That is use code lovers21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping.
What happens when you combine love, sex, magic and best friends? In this episode Shan sits down with Erica and Milah, hosts of Good Moms, Bad Choices and together they unravel the goddess experience. What does that look like? How did it happen and most of all…. did it bring them closer as best friends? This episode touches on the importance of platonic intimacy and how through bearing it all with your bestie: the real, the rare, the repulsive and the riveting - can actually make for a natural progression to experiencing and enhancing each other sexually in a VERY explicit, but still VERY plutonic way. This is an episode about how our friends can play an incredibly enriching role in our sex lives and moreover in other creative facets of our being.  Follow Our Guests Erica and Milah: Follow Matilda Carrol: Follow Shan: Please help us in showing love to our incredible sponsors by clicking these links to learn more.  Gerber Life Guaranteed Life Insurance No medical exams and no health questionnaire required.  Just go to the website for a free quote. StoryWorth: Get $10 off of your first purchase at StoryWorth and give the gift they’ll be talking about for years Http:// Lumi Labs: Microdose Use code: LOVERS  Microdose is available nationwide. To learn more about microdosing THC go to and use code LOVERS to get free shipping & 30% off your first order.  Manscaped: Use code: LOVERS Get free shipping and 20% off by going to and using LOVERS at checkout .
Singer, songwriter Jessie Reyes candidly opens up about how on her quest for love, she recently played the role of the “bad guy”. For many, especially women, this is something that can be very hard to admit.  Jessie Reyez reflects on how she f***** up, how she tried to right her wrong, how she coped when her apology to her ex wasn’t enough, and what insight she gained from this experience.  Jessie Reyez is a Toronto born singer and songwriter who burst into the scene in 2016 with her platinum single Figures. In 2020, Jessie received her first Grammy nomination for Urban Contemporary Album.  She is admired internationally and has amassed millions of followers and is currently embarking on a national sold out tour. Jessie has collaborated with artists like Eminem, 6lack, and Kehlani. She has also written songs for Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa and Normani. Her new album Yessie, is out NOW. Follow Jessie: Follow Shan: Please help us in showing love to our incredible sponsors by clicking these links to learn more.  Gerber Life Guaranteed Life Insurance No medical exams and no health questionnaire required.  Just go to the website for a free quote. Hello Fresh  http://www/ Use code LOVERS18 at checkout! Go to and use code lovers18 for 18 free meals plus free shipping! There is reason why it is America’s #1 Meal Kit so give it a try for yourself.  Lumi Labs: Microdose Use code: LOVERS  Microdose is available nationwide. To learn more about microdosing THC go to and use code LOVERS to get free shipping & 30% off your first order.  Manscaped: Use code: LOVERS Get free shipping and 20% off by going to and using LOVERS at checkout .
Steelo Brim shares how the culture of toxic masculinity where men are encouraged not to go deep with themselves, almost destroyed his chances at real love both with himself and with women. He also talks about how he and his longtime girlfriend alahna jade chose to break out of the monogamy-one-size-fits-all box in order to create a healthy relationship on their terms and Steelo shares why his last relationship with fiance Conna Walker did not work.  Sterling Brim better known as Steelo is a comedian, podcast host, actor, TV host, producer and musician. You may recognize him from hosting MTV’s show titled Ridiculousness.  Steelo is a host on his weekly podcast called “Wine and Weed” where he and his co host- unpack current events and pop culture. Steelo unpacks what he needed to let go of and lean into in order to create the love he needed in his life. Follow Steelo Follow Shan Please help us in showing love to our incredible sponsors by clicking these links to learn more.  Gerber Life Guaranteed Life Insurance No medical exams and no health questionnaire required.  Just go to the website for a free quote. BetterHelp As the world’s largest therapy service, BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists available 100% online.  Save 10% off your first month at 
 In this episode, I sit down with my lover, my partner, my baby daddy, my everything,  Jared. This conversation gets really real. We love our kids but do we still like our life? Do we still like each other? This time in Colombia with my family has sprung up a lot of 'aha' moments: some good and others not so good.  Life after kids is unpredictable and it can sometimes feel like that spark is lost. Which takes me to asking him an important question that to be honest made me nervous.  "Are you happy?" It gets raw, real and made me realize what I need to do more of.. HUGE thank you to the sponsor of this episode, Hello Fresh. There’s a reason why it’s America’s #1 Meal Kit. Fresh and delicious food delivered right to your door with perfectly proportioned ingredients.  Go to  Use code LOVERS65 for 65% off!  Follow Shan Call in to the show to leave a voice note ‪(323) 375-4797 Follow Jared: Jared: 
When was the last time your significant other gave you an ultimatum? When was the last time you gave them an ultimatum? In this episode, Shan sits down with Comedian, Actor, and Filmmaker, David So. He breaks down what led him to this breaking point and ultimately how this ultimatum impacted their relationship.... for better or worse? Thanks to the sponsor of this episode ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a FREE app that shows you doctors who are patient-reviewed, take your insurance and are available when you need them. With ZocDoc, you can see real, verified patient reviews to help you find the right doctor in your network and your neighborhood. Go to to try it out for yourself! It is as easy as search, find and book an appointment, in person or remotely, that works for your schedule. Again, go to to try it out for yourself! Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Apostrophe. Post pregnancy, my melasma was a real struggle. A few weeks ago it was visible in the middle of my forehead, above my eyebrows and my fav, above my lip but last week my MUA was getting me ready, he actually said the melasma was fading. Thanks to the Apostrophe team, I  found a safe treatment for me plus a sunscreen for prevention. It came in a cute box with easy instructions and bonus, some funky stickers. Try it out! First visit for only $5.00 at Follow Shan on Instagram: Follow David:
How many times have you romanticized your life and where you THOUGHT you’d be by a certain age. For many of us, by 30 we imagine ourselves to be wifed up and thriving in a career.  In this episode, I sit down with Kamie Crawford, the host of MTV’s Catfish and former Miss Teen USA. Kamie is also the host of her very own Podcast called Relationshit. Kamie is the epitome of 30, flirty and thriving!  Last time Kamie was on the podcast, we broke down the lows and hell nos that led to her breakup and now, we are breaking down what she is leaving behind in her 20s and what she is welcoming in her 30s, including... a new love.  Thanks to the sponsors of this episode Better Help! For 10% off go to  Thanks to the sponsors of this episode Gerber Life Guaranteed.  Just answer 4 easy questions to get your free personalized quote instantly, by visiting  Follow Shan Follow Kamie
Does sex HAVE to get less passionate as time goes on in a relationship? Is it possible to keep that “can’t keep your hands off each other” feeling in a marriage? In this episode we explore these questions and share the depressing/ hopeful truth about the secret to good sex in a long relationship.  DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALSO WATCH FULL EPISODES OF LOVERS AND FRIENDS? CLICK HERE TO SEE OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL Fun fact, falling in love is stressful on the body, but being in love is healthy for the body. When we are falling in love we experience an increase in cortisol, the stress hormone, but studies show that when we develop an attachment to someone oxytocin can actually work to inhibit cortisol production and stress response. That’s why researchers say that true love probably begins when the hormonal cocktail stops working.  So long story short maybe the loss of passion in our sex life as we know it, is not such a bad thing Meet the guests of this episode!!! Kevin Fredericks aka KevOn Stage is an actor, stand-up comedian, entrepreneur, podcast developer and host and filmmaker. Kevin is part of a generation of comedians who gained fame online and has accumulated hundreds of millions of views on social media. He is currently on his 3rd SOLD OUT national comedy tour and he is a New York Times bestselling author with his book Marriage Be Hard that he co-authored with his wife Melissa Fredericks who you might know on the internets as Mrs Kevon Stage. Melissa hosts The Love Hour podcast and is best known for her betterment campaigns and advocacy for self-love.  Together, Kevin and Melissa provide a hilarious and fresh master class on what it takes to build and maintain a healthy and lasting relationship. Follow KevOnStage: Follow Kev’s streaming service:  Kevon Stage Studios Follow Melissa aka Mrs.KevOnStage Follow Shan
Dating in your 20s is a lot like being given free range with paint as a toddler. Things can be fun but can get messy really quick. But the beauty is, you're young and have time to clean the mess up. In this episode, that is exactly what we are getting into.   Harry Jowsey and Georgia Hassarati - two on again off again, mid twenties, love birds in the midst of what we just described. Harry, Georgia and myself all met on the Netflix show that I’ve worked on as a sex expert for several seasons, Too Hot to Handle. Harry was a retreat attendee on season one and Georgia, on season three. They met because Harry asked Georgia to be a guest on his podcast, Tap in with Harry Jowsey. Harry and Georgia share a lot of the same things in common: background, career aspirations, sense of humor and the desire for real love in their 20s. They start hanging out, yada yada yada, they fall in love, have a few incredible rom-com-esque months together before things got a little TOO real… too heavy for Harry who then decides to call things off. But in classic-twenty-something-style our boy Harry made another big call a few weeks after that. And that’s where they are today… And if you’re not really clear where that “at” is, don’t worry, neither are they… and that’s kinda the beauty of trying to do the love thing in your twenties…right?  Thanks to the sponsors of this episode! ZocDoc Go to to start your search for a top rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours.  That’z  Gerber Life Family Just answer 4 easy questions to get your free personalized quote instantly, by visiting Follow Shan Follow Harry- @HarryJowsey Follow Georgia: @GeorgiaHassarati http://tiktok.comGeorgiaHassarati
Comments (9)


Love how she never shares the name of this illness. I’m sure other people could learn or relate possibly.

Mar 25th


love this amazing mal.

Jul 19th

Mrq-mrg Khavarmiane


Jul 6th

Ayla Shuey


Feb 6th

brandy peat

love the show

Oct 8th


love you girl

Oct 7th

Amber Spearman-Scire

I'm so excited for your podcast!

Oct 1st


Subscribed! 😃

Oct 1st

Mona Hoseinzadeh Dal

awwww I'm your first subscriber and listener here 💥🔥🤩

Sep 23rd
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