MILKLESS

Just a little somethin' between seasons 2 & 3 of the show. Matt tells a story about his daughter, and about the man who told him - long before Matt had kids - that being a father is "the best thing you'll ever do."

Holy sh*t, The Boys are turning forty. This one's literally coming out on Max's 40th birthday. Is it just a number, or an opportunity to look at life in a whole new way? Maybe both? Maybe neither? Maybe it's what you make of it. But all the research shows that having a positive perspective on getting older makes the back half of your life a whole lot better (not to mention healthier and longer). So, how do we get there, in spite of the aching joints and inevitable humbling that life deals out? Matt and Max dive in, looking for ways to embrace what's coming whether we like it or not. Also, they talk about death for a while, cause that's always a crowd-pleaser (apologies in advance). But it's one of our favorite episodes already. Let's do it!

Our kids spend a LOT of time looking to us to figure out how they're doing. Does this work? Am I not supposed to do this? Do people like it when I try this thing? It's a little bit terrifying how much power we as parents have in shaping not only what our kids see as positive or negative behavior, but in how they see themselves and their identity. That means praise and critique are a pretty big part of parenting. But not all praise is actually helpful, and not all criticism is constructive. Max and Matt dive in, starting from a few well-researched principals and then exploring all of the nuance and grey area that is actual, real-life parenting. If you like the episode, send praise to @milklesspodcast. For all criticism, contact @milklesscriticismfanpage.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon here today!

You heard it here first, y'all: eating healthy and exercising makes you live longer AND does wonders for your mental health. Oh, wait, literally everyone is already saying this? Well, then maybe we should talk about how the f*ck you get yourself to do it consistently - particularly with young kids. This is not something Max and Matt have mastered, which is exactly why it's not intolerable to listen to them talk about it... because aren't we all a little tired of six-packed influencer parents telling us how easy it is to get your twenty-year-old body back? This one's as much about trying to understand our relationship with our own bodies, as it is about ways to stay fit. And if that all sounds a little soft, well... maybe it is... but we also curse a lot.Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here

If you haven't listened to Part 1, go back and start there at Episode #42. Look, not everything about being a parent is that awesome. We all know it. Let's just say it. Actually, let's make a list, and then hang out and holler about how mad we sometimes get about this stuff. Sounds great, actually. Carthadic. Let's do it. We might even figure out some things to try, see if we can't make it all go a little smoother. It's a Hot Takes, y'all. Ten things Matt and Max hate about parenting Part Deux.Support Milkless by buying the best kids book ever (seriously). Matt wrote it, Max illustrated it. So if you like Milkless, your kids will love Violet Archer! For kids Aged 5-12Buy it on Amazon Today!

Look, not everything about being a parent is that awesome. We all know it. Let's just say it. Actually, let's make a list, and then hang out and holler about how mad we sometimes get about this stuff. Sounds great, actually. Carthadic. Let's do it. We might even figure out some things to try, see if we can't make it all go a little smoother. It's a Hot Takes, y'all. Ten things Matt and Max hate about parenting.Support Milkless by buying the best kids book ever (seriously). Matt wrote it, Max illustrated it. So if you like Milkless, your kids will love Violet Archer! For kids Aged 5-12Buy it on Amazon Today!

First off, don’t worry. We’re not coming for your phones. We LOVE our phones! Also, without them, it would much, much harder for you to listen to this podcast. But then there’s this uncomfortable truth that nobody really wants to talk about... including The Boys. It might just maybe be possible that we're all waaaaay too connected to our devices, and it's really f*cking with our heads and frequently forcing its way into the middle of our relationship with our kids. But dude, it's 2024 - going full-on Amish isn't exactly an option for most of us. Also, SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! So, how do we create an intentional relationship with our mobile computers - where we can do our work, and manage our schedule, and enjoy all of life's modern conveniences and entertainment - but also be in control of the situation. Because, at least for Max and Matt, it too often feels like that little buzzing devil in their pocket is really the one in charge - and that just ain't right, for us or our kids. So take out your phone and press play... and find us on Insta! Oh boy. The irony is not lost on us.Buy Our Kids Book!Violet Archer on amazon.com

Hey y'all, so Matt wrote a kids book! Violet Archer and the Case of the Purple Martin is an early chapter book (the first in a series) that follows the investigations of kid detective Violet Archer and her investigative partner, Baba - a Jack Russell Terrier. Max read the manuscript and freaked out over the writing. Then he spent the next 6 months (and hundreds of hours) moving mountains to get the kids mystery book published. And holy sh*t it just came out! This less-than-typical episode starts off as an interview - Max reading passages from the book and asking Matt about his creative process. But the format quickly morphs into a conversation on trying to empathize with your kids, recognizing the ways in which we as parents sometimes unwittingly make life harder for our small people, and the power of story to articulate the internal life of a child. We promise we’re not just log-rolling a book here. This is an interview with an Emmy-nominated writer/director - most of it about parenting - complete with the low-brow dumb humor that Max and Matt couldn’t avoid even if they wanted to.Link to the book on Amazon!

For parents, there are few things more grating than the sound of your kids whining. It is biologically engineered to snap us into action. Unfortunately, it frequently snaps us into a rage, and literally all children do it - at least sometimes. Matt and Max are on a mission to handle their kids' whining better - and to try to dodge it completely whenever possible. So, why do kids whine? Why does it instantly turn us into Jack Nicholson from The Shining? And how do we GET IT TO F*CKING STOP without messing up our kids? As always, there is unfortunately no silver bullet answer. But there are tons of helpful ideas out there, and the Boys are diving right in.

Kids cry. It's universal. It's also one of the hardest things to handle well as a parent, because - as effed up as it feels to say - upset kids can be really GD frustrating. And to make things more complicated, they don't always want to be doing it either! Even our kids get embarrassed when they get emotional at a moment where they'd rather have held it together. So, how are we supposed to validate their feelings, while giving them the tools to not lose their shit when they can't make the FUCK*NG LEGOS FIT! When you're a baby, you cry when you need something. That's how it's supposed to be. When you're an adult, you kind of want to have outgrown that phase... but still be able to cry at Field of Dreams. It's a long, strange trip. Let's go.

It's time for some HOT TAKES. This is a collection, in no particular order, of things that have made Matt and Max's family life a little easier and better - without requiring much work. Cause really, who has time to add anything more these days? From the modestly profound, to the profoundly modest, here are eleven sweet, juicy pieces of low-hanging-fruit. 

"Tough" is a complicated word. Does it mean hard-edged, unfeeling, and even bullying? Or, are we talking about perseverance, courage, and the strength of character to take risks, weather adversity, and do the right thing? Matt and Max are trying to figure out how to equip their kids with that second batch of traits, without slipping into the first one. And the more we thought about it, the more we realized that this comes up A LOT. Sometimes it's helping our kids work up the courage to get a shot at the doctor. Other times, it's how to stick with an activity that's challenging but rewarding. Heck, sometimes it's knowing when to quit. So, how do you prepare your kids for a life that will inevitably put them to the test - without teaching them to shut off their feelings and harden themselves to the world? What is the "right" amount of hardship to expose them to, and what's the best way to support them in those challenges? How do we, as humans, develop the skill of doing the hard thing because we believe in it (or cause it's just gotta get done)? And why was Chase's jump to save Ryder in the first Paw Patrol movie so stupidly unrealistic? Sit down. Shut up. And listen to this sh*t. Just kidding. Your feelings are important. 

The Second half of a two part episode on chores and allowance: Man, oh man - it's hard to think of a much more fraught subject than MONEY. Is it the root of all evil, or the thing that makes the world go round? Maybe a little bit of both? Like it or not, developing a healthy relationship with money and a basic knowledge of how to manage it makes a huge difference in your stress level, sense of self-worth, and quality of life. So, when is the right time to start introducing our kids to the concept, and what's the best way to do it? Are we paying for chores, or setting up a monthly stipend? Do parents get a vote on purchases, or is it truly their money to spend? And how do we balance the knowledge that kids learn things best when they're young, with the truth that money (not just the dollars and cents of it, but the cultural significance it commands) is an awfully heavy idea to carry. This episode, like all the other ones, is totally free. We're still working out the economics of that setup.

Doing chores is about more than keeping the house clean. It's one of the first ways kids learn how to pull their weight as part of a team. It's also pretty reasonable to ask for their help, given that they are the kings and queens of absolutely destroying your GD house. And studies show that chores are insanely good for a child's development (and becoming a well adjusted adult - makes sense). So how do you get young brains to buy into the often tedious tasks required to run a home? How do you find the right jobs for them - where they can actually help without breaking things or creating more work for you? And is there a place for chores that are just for their own sake, even when they don't actually make your life that much easier. This is part one of a two parter (part two tackles allowance and money), so grab a dish towel, put in your headphones, and let's get to work.

Holy crap, kids really, really like getting presents... and as parents, we kind of like giving them. But it's an expensive world, and materialism is a real thing, and so are spoiled kids, and this country sure does work hard to get you to buy things you don't need - especially around the holidays. So, how do you strike the balance between the magic of thoughtful gift-giving and the pitfalls of going way too hard on prezzies? There's no right answer here, but Max and Matt dive into their approaches to gifts in addition to providing a bit of a holiday gift guide for your kids and partner. Experiences versus objects of significance, Black Friday Amazon sprees versus the DIY approach, big surprises versus that pair of boots your wife has explicitly told you she wants. This ain't just for the kids either. The grandparents and spouses shouldn't get left off the Nice List. So here it is, our holiday gift to you... we guarantee it's worth every penny.

A couple of months back, we had one of our absolute favorite people in the world, Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting on Episode 22 of MILKLESS. Right around that time, we actually went on HER podcast too. Well, we're going to play you that episode in full... here... on our show. Here's the Big Time Adulting Podcast's original description of the episode: The dads of the Milkless Podcast, Matt Naylor and Max Valverde, are here to grace the airwaves with this refreshingly honest conversation about fatherhood and how manly it is to take on more responsibilities as a parent.Tune into this dynamic conversation between Caitlin and the dads as they explore topics like masculinity, equity in the home, scorekeeping, mental load, division of labor, and how men can show up more equally in the parenting game.@milklesspodcast@bigtimeadultingWe truly love her show and, in our humble opinion, it's one of the only other parenting podcasts that keeps it real. We highly recommended it. If you want to check out more of her show, search "Big Time Adulting" in the search bar!

'Tis the season: to load up your kids and go visit the the in-laws... or maybe it's your parents, or a sibling, or maybe they're even coming to you! Given that 'the grandparents' already raised you, how much should they partake in the child support during an extended family visit? No matter how you slice it, putting multiple nuclear families together under one roof can be fraught... but it can also be pretty freakin' great. There's nothing quite like watching your kids tear around with their cousins. And hey, your siblings are the only other people who know all the ways your parents are crazy! It's worth the effort to make it work. So, how do you navigate all the old minefields and remember to enjoy the people you love. From political divides to sibling rivalries, dietary restrictions to different bedtimes - Max and Matt run the gauntlet that is the extended family vacation.

There aren't a whole lot of things that make Max and Matt lose their cool faster than a hard, "NO" from one of their offspring. Incidentally, those two letters aren't the kids' favorite ones to hear either. So, how do you set necessary limits without ending up in unnecessary power struggles? How do you give your kids a voice in decision making without living your life in a state of constant negotiation? And how do you parse out which parts of the conflict are inevitable, and which parts are about the unresolved baggage we're bringing to the table as adults? You WILL listen to this episode, and you're going to LIKE IT... because mandating other people's feelings works every time. Let's NO!

Look, Frozen is great! Bluey is unbelievable! Paw Patrol is... an incredibly lucrative business. But by the 11th viewing, they are all the worst thing you've ever seen - and mostly your kid ends up watching them alone while you zone out on your phone. Max and Matt are diving into an alternate take on screen time with your kids - one filled with great films, dope music videos, and sketch comedy that's just as funny to you as it is to a five year old. With a little research (and some time on Common Sense Media), this can be a truly shared experience - instead of a way to kill an afternoon. So, grab some popcorn and settle in. Tonight we're gonna watch something GOOD.Links Discussed on the Show:Batman SceneIconic Mission Impossible SceneArrival - First Contact SceneArrival - Heptapods Speak Scene Arrival - They Need to See Me Scene Singin' in the Rain - Make 'Em LaughSingin' in the Rain - MosesJamiroquai - Virtual InsanitySNL Office BossI Think You Should Leave - Skeleton SongI Think You Should Leave - Interview Door SceneNature Videos (ex. ring-tailed lemur)also:Common Sense MediaBefore watching the below movies, we'd recommend checking Common Sense Media and reading what makes these "more adult" and see if you're cool with them with your kids (ex. profanity, storyline, etc). We recommend watching these with younger kids to explain complex plots.Movies listed:RudyApollo 13The Truman ShowReady Player One (Watch out for the scene from the Shining)OnceArrival

Loud noises, separation anxiety, monsters under the bed, scary movies, and "Holy sh*t, Dad - I'm gonna die someday?!" Max and Matt are venturing into the deep, dark wood that is childhood fears. How do you help your kids navigate scary stuff, when the part of their brain that freaks them out is better developed than the part that calms them down? What's the balance between sheltering, comforting, and providing young people the tools to face a world that can sometimes be legitimately terrifying? And how can stories - even spooky ones - help your kid feel like an empowered protagonist in that world? It’s Halloween, y’all! Wait until dark, grab a handful of your kids' trick-or-treating candy (they'll never notice), and take a walk with us on the dark side...