Not So Normal Parenting | Enneagram Types, Myers Briggs, Personality, Neurodivergence, Discipline

April Fallon is host of the Adoption Now podcast. She and her husband Noah, adopted four kids from birth, AJ, Lilly, Vivvy and Malia. In this episode she talks about parenting her kids as a type 7 and how she has had to adjust her parenting based on her kids unique needs. She wondered what behaviors were trauma related and what was personality. She talks about how knowing their type has helped her finally relax and know her kids love her. She talks about spending three years serving in Africa and how her inspiration to adopt started very early in her life. We talk about gender roles, attachment, emotional intelligence and the adoption process. Adoption Now podcast   https://adoptionnowpodcast.com/   PodcastContactInfo Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett

In this episode, we dive into the vibrant Type 7 personality, also known as The Enthusiast or "the straw that stirs the drink" Type 7s are characterized by their exuberance and ability to juggle multiple interests, yet they often face challenges with escapism, FOMO (fear of missing out), and feelings of isolation,  inadequeacy, exhaustion and frustration. This episode is full of practical strategies for Type 7s to reframe their thoughts and navigate these emotions. Whether you're a Type 7 yourself, in a relationship with one, or parenting a spirited child, this episode offers insights on fostering deeper connections, managing overwhelm, and finding balance between spontaneity and introspection. Discover how Type 7s can cultivate authenticity by embracing their true feelings and learning to savor the present moment. Drawing inspiration from characters like Moana and Tigger, Wendy shares how these personalities embody Type 7 traits and offer lessons in personal growth. Tune in for personal anecdotes, practical tips, and inspiring stories that empower you on your Enneagram journey. Whether you're new to the Enneagram or seeking deeper insights into Type 7 dynamics, this episode promises to enrich your understanding and encourage growth in embracing your unique personality traits. Don't miss out on this enlightening conversation celebrating the strengths and challenges of Type 7s, offering invaluable wisdom for navigating life with boundless energy and a thirst for new experiences. Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett

In this episode, we explore Enneagram Type 6, often called the Loyalist or the Loyal Skeptic. Type 6s, part of the head center, are concerned with safety and security, often struggling with fear and anxiety. We discuss five common thought patterns they face: Anxiety, Indecision, Insecurity, Distrust, and Overwhelm. Key Highlights: Anxiety: Overthinking worst-case scenarios is common for Type 6s. Examples include Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc. and Marlin from Finding Nemo. Strategies to cope include facing fears directly, using grounding techniques, and practicing reality checking. Indecision: Chronic second-guessing affects Type 6s, who often prioritize others' happiness over their own choices. Focus on positive outcomes and learning from decisions can help. Insecurity: Seeking constant reassurance and feeling inadequate is typical. Woody from Toy Story illustrates this. Self-compassion and sharing insecurities with trusted friends are vital. Distrust: Difficulty trusting themselves and others can lead to paranoia. Phobic and counterphobic subtypes show different behaviors. Encouraging small steps and clear communication helps build trust. Overwhelm: Anxiety can lead to paralysis and inaction. Inside Out's Riley and Anna from Frozen 2 show this. Calming strategies and focusing on small, actionable steps are effective. Practical Tips: Reframe anxious thoughts by confronting fears. Build decision-making confidence by celebrating small victories. Address insecurity with self-compassion and support from friends. Cultivate trust gradually with clear boundaries. Manage overwhelm with grounding techniques and incremental actions. Join us for insights on Type 6, whether you are one, love one, or parent one, and learn how to manage and transform these thought patterns effectively. PodcastContactInfo Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett  

In this episode, we dive into Enneagram Type 5, known as "The Investigator," exploring their unique traits and challenges. Whether you're parenting a Type 5 or are one yourself, you'll relate to their deep introspection and desire for knowledge, often likened to feeling like a unicorn in a world of more outgoing personalities. Type 5s are intensely private and introverted, preferring solitary activities to conserve their emotional and intellectual resources. We discuss their core struggle, termed Avarice, which isn't about greed but rather a fear of depletion—be it emotional, energetic, or informational. This fear manifests as a reluctance to engage fully in social settings or to share their thoughts and feelings openly. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for reframing their top negative thoughts, such as fear of incompetence and distrust of the outside world, into more constructive emotions and actions. Join us as we explore how neurodivergence, including potential links to the autism spectrum, can influence the Type 5 experience. We also touch on strategies for parenting and supporting Type 5 individuals, emphasizing the importance of respecting their need for privacy while gently encouraging social interaction. For a deeper dive, check out Episode 18 on Transforming Your Thoughts, which complements this discussion on understanding and fostering growth through the Enneagram's insights into unconscious thought patterns. PodcastContactInfo Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive: Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett    

In this episode I interview Erin Lockwood who travels all over the world with her family to create their YouTube channel called Always Be Changing. Erin is an ESFJ Ox, type 2 on the Enneagram. She is parenting three children and two of them are her opposites. Her son Colt is an ENTP Eagle, who tested as gifted, but doesn’t respond well to discipline and a typical school environment. Her daughter Brooklyn is an ISTP, the same type as my daughter, but a type 5 on the Enneagram, which will be the next episode now that we have wrapped up the heart center with types 2,3 and 4. Since Erin is a type 2 parenting a type 5, I thought it would be a great segway. I met Erin because her pediatrician recommended, she come see me before she pursued other psychological testing for her son Colt. I want to be the first and hopefully the last place families can get answers when they are wondering if their child’s behavior is normal. I talk with Erin about 1. Her decision to pull her kids out of school and travel the world 2. The secret cure for her son’s emotional impulsiveness and oppositional defiance 3. Why it isn’t okay for her to hug her type 5 daughter 4. And how she has learned to set boundaries and separate facts from her very strong feelings. You can follow Erin and Phil Lockwood at FollowABC.com or Live the Philippines.   Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett

In this episode, we delve into the intricate world of Enneagram Type 4, also known as the Romantic or Individualist. If you are a Type 4 or raising one, you are likely familiar with their deep emotional landscape, creativity, and struggles with feelings of envy and loneliness. Host [Your Name], a Type 4 herself, shares personal insights and practical strategies learned from years of transforming negative thoughts and emotions. This episode provides valuable tips for understanding and supporting Type 4s in navigating their intense emotions and finding fulfillment. Key Points: Characteristics of Type 4: Emotional, intuitive, often feeling misunderstood, and struggling with envy. Common Struggles: Loneliness, longing, emotional intensity, and fear of being ordinary. Practical Tips: Validating and empathizing with their deep emotions. Encouraging creativity and authenticity. Helping them reframe thoughts through gratitude. Teaching coping strategies like journaling and breathing exercises. Finding communities that appreciate their unique perspective. Parenting Type 4s: Emotional Support: Creating a safe space for them to express their feelings and ensuring they feel understood. Encouragement: Praising their unique contributions and helping them find like-minded peers. Managing Comparisons: Fostering gratitude and contentment with what they have. PodcastContactInfo Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive: Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett

Today’s episode is about the Type 3 Achiever, which is a type that almost everyone resonates with. Because America is the land of the three, the land of chasing success. Almost everyone, including myself has fallen into the  comparison trap and found themselves feeling inadequate or like they aren’t enough. Is your to do list a mile long? Do you have a hard time relaxing? Type 2, 3 and 4 are all in the heart center, focused on receiving attention and presenting a certain image. A Type 2 wants to be seen as likable and helpful and a type 3 wants to be seen as charming and successful. Failure for a type 3 brings crushing shame and often denial. In the world of likes and followers, a type 3 can be on quite an emotional rollercoaster by placing their self-worth in the hands of their achievements and abilities. Many parents, without realizing it, are feeding this achievement cycle. Tune in to this episode to discover the 5 major thought patterns of a type 3, the emotions and actions those thoughts produce and how a Type 3 can reframe those thoughts to feel better and discover their true identity. Be sure to listen to episode 18 on how to transform your thoughts because it is the foundation of the entire enneagram system and the absolute best way to change your life for the better!   Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett

In this episode, we shift focus from the body center to the heart center, which includes Enneagram types 2, 3, and 4. The heart center deals with issues of attention and self-image, often grappling with feelings of grief, shame, and worthlessness. We dive deep into the characteristics of Type 2s, who derive their self-worth from being helpful and appreciated by others, but may struggle with insecurity and dependence on external validation. We'll discuss how to identify and reframe negative thought patterns common to Type 2s, providing strategies for fostering self-awareness and healthier relationships. An illustrative listener's story about a Type 2 ESFJ daughter highlights practical advice on using a two-way journal to improve communication and understanding between parents and children. Key insights include recognizing the importance of self-care, managing feelings of guilt and overwhelm, and addressing deeper psychological patterns rooted in childhood experiences. We'll also explore the unique challenges Type 2s face, such as dealing with pride, resentment, and the tendency toward martyrdom. Join us as we offer tools and insights to help Type 2s find their own worth and navigate their emotional landscapes more effectively. Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett  

In this transformative episode, Wendy Gossett shares personal insights and practices that can change your life. Kicking off a new Enneagram series, Wendy discusses the struggles of all nine types, starting with Type 9, the Peacemaker. Learn how these struggles affect thoughts and feelings, and discover ways to reframe thoughts to improve your well-being and coach your children effectively. Explore Wendy's this podcast launched in April 2024, for more insights on Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram. Wendy's book, "Your Child’s Inner Drive: Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens," provides additional guidance for parents managing diverse personality types within their families. With over 60,000 thoughts buzzing in our heads daily, it's crucial to be aware of how these thoughts shape our feelings and actions. Wendy uses relatable examples and offers specific strategies to help you recognize, reframe, and supervise your thoughts. She highlights the importance of thought awareness and provides practical steps for parents to coach their children using the Enneagram. Key techniques include keeping a thought journal, questioning your thoughts, and understanding the emotional impact of your thoughts. Wendy emphasizes that changing your thought patterns can lead to a better life and healthier relationships.   Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett

In this episode, we delve into the Enneagram Type 1, known as The Perfectionist. The Enneagram serves as a powerful tool to help parents recognize their unconscious thought patterns, enabling them to guide their children toward self-awareness and positive transformation. Type 1 children often fixate on imperfections in their environment and themselves, striving for perfection and control. We start with an introduction to Enneagram Type 1, explaining how these individuals tend to focus on what needs to be fixed. Their unconscious thought patterns can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and rigidity. The host shares a personal anecdote about the challenges faced while recording episode 16, illustrating the struggle with perfectionism and the importance of being flexible and forgiving of oneself. The episode includes a listener question from an INFJ Type 1 father who struggles with his ISTP Type 8 son, who resists rules and chores. The host advises focusing on connection before correction, recognizing the son's need for independence, and engaging in activities the son enjoys to build a better relationship. We also explore the different variants of Type 1: Self-preservation Ones: Worriers who focus on controlling their environment. Social Ones: Intellectuals who strive to set an example for others. One-on-one (Sexual) Ones: Express anger and are highly critical, resembling Type 8 in their intensity. For growth, Type 1s need to become aware of their unconscious patterns and reframe negative thoughts. Strategies for personal development include practicing forgiveness, empathy, flexibility, and self-care. Common challenges for Type 1s are discussed along with ways to reframe their thoughts: Perfectionism: Embrace progress over perfection and view mistakes as opportunities for growth. Anger: Channel anger constructively and focus on positive change. Resentment: Practice forgiveness and let go of grudges. Anxiety: Stay present and practice mindfulness techniques. Guilt: Understand that everyone makes mistakes and move forward after making amends. Rigidity: Embrace flexibility and spontaneity. Criticism: Shift from criticism to constructive feedback and recognize everyone's strengths. Judgment: Practice empathy and understanding. Tension: Use relaxation techniques to alleviate stress and prioritize self-care. The host offers encouraging words and affirmations to help Type 1s reframe their thoughts and focus on positive growth. The episode also includes spiritual insights, referencing biblical encouragement not to worry and highlighting the importance of faith and trust in a higher power. Listeners are encouraged to email questions to WendyGossett.com and explore further resources such as the "Understanding Your Family 101" session or the "Not So Normal Parenting" Facebook community for support and guidance. Website: WendyGossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett  

In this transformative episode, we delve deep into the struggles of Enneagram Type 8, exploring how their quest for control and fear of vulnerability shape their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Whether you’re a Type 8 or a parent of one, this episode offers vital insights into managing these powerful dynamics. We'll revisit some foundational concepts from Episode 15, emphasizing their importance in understanding all Enneagram types. For those familiar, feel free to jump ahead to the 12-minute mark to dive straight into Type 8 specifics. Type 8s, located in the body or gut center of the Enneagram, focus intensely on control and often express their underlying emotion—anger—openly. We'll explore how their intense energy, need for control, and fixation on justice manifest in their daily lives and relationships. Additionally, we’ll discuss the instinctual variants of Type 8s—self-preservation, social, and sexual—and how these influence their behavior. From the intensity of their play to their resistance to authority, understanding these facets can help parents and educators support Type 8 children more effectively. Join us as we unpack practical strategies to help Type 8s reframe their thoughts and embrace vulnerability, fostering healthier relationships and emotional well-being. Plus, hear personal anecdotes, including a touching story about a Type 8 child navigating a family move, to illustrate these principles in action. Finally, if you enjoy our content, please check your Apple reviews and consider leaving a new one if yours has disappeared. Your support helps us reach more listeners and continue sharing these valuable insights. Tune in for a powerful discussion that promises to enhance your understanding of Type 8s and enrich your approach to their unique challenges.   Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett

I am not exaggerating when I tell you that this episode could transform your life! I speak from personal experience because the practice I am going to tell you about changed mine. This will be the first of an Enneagram series where I talk about the struggles of all nine types, how those struggles effect our thoughts and feelings and then how you can reframe the thoughts and coach your children to do the same. I started a podcast in mid April 2024 called Not So Normal Parenting. There are some episodes there that are not on this channel so check it out if you are a fan of Myers Briggs and the Enneagram. You can also grab a copy of my best selling book ebtitled Your Child’s Inner Drive: Parenting by Personality from Toddlers toTeens. I was a facilitator for team building and realized I could use these amazing tools with my own family team since I was parenting a son and daughter who were as different as Bob Ross and the Black Widow, you can check out my interview with them on the channel. My daughter is an ISTP type 8, my son is an ISFJ Type 9 and I am an ENFJ Type 4. Since parents are like the Ceo’s of their fmily, I work with them to help them see the connections and disconnections in their brain wiring.Parenting isn’t intuitive if you have kids who are your opposites! You can check out my work, blog and get a free child temperament test at WendyGossett.com   Did you know you have over 60,000 thoughts every single day buzzing around your head? That's a lot to keep track of! Some of us are completely unaware of what is going on inside of our head. This is unwise, considering the fact that our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings determine our actions. In fact, all your emotions, good, bad, happy and sad are 100% generated by your thoughts. Your unconscious thoughts are sort of like an unsupervised West Highland White terrior in a closet full of shoes and flip flops. Oh that example sounds sort of specific? That’s because my Westie, Milo, loved to chew and sever the toe piece of all our flip flops. All I needed to do was to be aware of where the flip flops were at all times, even in the middle of summer; and where Milo was, even though he was a crazy puppy with Zoomies, so that the destruction did not occur. Not an easy task! Just like being aware of all 60,000 thoughts every day is not easy either. In episode 12 and 3 I give an introduction to an amazing tool for growing human potential called the Enneagram. This tool is dependent upon thought awareness. Why? Because being aware and then reframing your thought patterns is the single most powerful way to change your life for the better! Later in this episode I am going to give very specific examples of what a type 9 Peacemaker parent’s mind struggles with, how these thoughts negatively effect their feelings and how the thoughts can be reframed to turn the feeling around. I will then teach any parent how to coach their type 9 child using powerful questions generated by the Enneagram. Love this lady, love this podcast! Wendy Gossett speaks with such honesty and says it like it is!! I love how real she is and how open her family is to helping others understand one another. I have never heard such powerful insight into how we operate as unique individuals. After reading Wendy’s book “Your Child’s Inner Drive” and working with Wendy To better appreciate the personalities of my children, we have so much more peace and unity in our family relationships!! I can now honor my teens for who they are and how God created them instead of feel frustrated by our differences. I am so happy she now has a podcast so I can continue to get a dose of her wisdom and teaching! May everyone be blessed as they learn this life giving tool for all relationships.   William James a philosopher and psychologist, regarded as one of the most influential figures in the development of modern psychology said that. "The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." - William James My thought patterns were extremely damaging and involved comparison and shame. I will do an entire episode on the Type 4 and Type 3 which are my main types, but in a nutshell, These thoughts caused me to feel depressed and since a Type 4 fixates on their feelings, I could go into a funk that was hard to shake. But I began the practice of being conscious of my thoughts, taking every thought captive and reframing those thoughts to God’s truth about how He sees me. So, here's is how you can begin to supervise those thoughts that are zooming around in your head. Begin by simply asking yourself, "What am I thinking?" on a regular basis.  It's like a little mental check-in that can make a really big difference. You can also let your feelings tell you when to check in on your thoughts. If all of a sudden you begin to feel a tightening in your chest or a twisting in your gut, it is time to press rewind on your thoughts and ask yourself what negative thought created the negative feeling. The Enneagram gives all of us clues into what these negative thoughts might be so they are easier to recognize and bring into consciousness. I am going to do 8 more episodes for every type, to uncover the biggest struggle of each and all the thoughts that revolve around it. If you have never done this before, I challenge you to keep a thought journal for a week. When you ask yourself the question, “What am I thinking?” grab a pen and paper and let your thoughts flow. Write whatever comes to mind without stopping, no filtering, just get it all out. It will be sort of like cleaning out your closet. What are the thoughts you want to wear and what are the thoughts that need to get bagged up and sent to Goodwill or sold on Ebay if you have clothes that someone else would actually want. My Lululemon wearers know! I still don’t wear Lulu even though I get a 30% discount for being a fitness instructor. So purge your mind of the negative thoughts so you can make room for the new positive ones you are going to create. So the first question to ask is “What am I thinking?” Next up, ask yourself, "Why am I choosing to think this?" This helps you realize that it's not your circumstances that are forcing you feel a certain way, it's your thoughts about those circumstances. Sometimes, our reasons for thinking certain thoughts are a bit off-base, so this question can help straighten things out. The Enneagram tells us what are well worn unconscious thought patterns are. In episode 3 and 12, we talk about the fixations of each type which can also help you identify these unconscious habitual thought patterns. SO again, the second question is, “Why am I choosing to think this?” Next,, check in with yourself and ask, "How does this thought feel?" Pay attention to your emotions because they're little warning lights, sort of like “the low fuel light in your car” telling you if a thought is helpful or not. If it doesn't feel good, maybe it's time to let go or reframe that thought. And again, if you're feeling a bit off but not sure why, ask yourself, "What's the thought behind this feeling?" It's a sneaky way to peek into your mind and understand what's really going on in there. Oh, and here's a powerful one: "How do I want to feel?" Reminding yourself that you're in control of your feelings by choosing your thoughts can be a game-changer. Knowing how you want to feel can kickstart some serious action, even if it's just changing your mindset. So let’s dive into what this looks like for a Type 9 parent or a Type 9 child or spouse. Type Nines are Peacemakers so their false identity is that they are never in conflict. They fixate on the external world around them, seeing every little detail, so they don’t have to focus on their internal, less than peaceful thoughts. A Type 9’s struggle is sloth. You know sloth, like the adorable cousin of the anteater that moves really slooooow. Sloth is not laziness but more a hesitation to take action, driven by their desire for harmony. They may procrastinate or avoid decisions that could disrupt peace. Think of them as easygoing and chill, but sometimes slow to start on big tasks. They're not lazy; they just prefer to avoid conflict and maintain balance. Here are some negative thoughts the Type 9 Peacemaker in your life might have: Type Nine Negative Thoughts: "My opinions and desires don't matter as much as others'." "I must avoid conflict at all costs to maintain peace." "I fear being seen as assertive or confrontational." "I'm responsible for keeping everyone happy and harmonious." "I'm not important enough to speak up or assert myself." "If I express my needs, I'll burden others and disrupt the harmony." "I'm afraid of expressing disagreement because it might lead to rejection or abandonment." "I often feel overlooked or invisible in social situations." "I'm afraid of making decisions because I don't want to upset anyone." "I feel guilty when prioritizing my own needs over others'." "I constantly second-guess myself and doubt my own worth." "I often feel overwhelmed by the needs and expectations of others." Negative Emotions for Type 9: Avoidance, frustration or stagnation since their main focus is avoiding conflict. They may struggle with making decisions or asserting their own preferences, leading to feelings of indecisiveness or being overlooked. Type 9s may suppress their own needs and desires to maintain harmony, leading to feelings of resentment towards others who seem more assertive or self-centered. They may feel passive or powerless in their own lives, allowing others to make decisions for them or feeling overshadowed by more dominant personalities. Type 9s may neglect their own needs and desires in favor of maintaining peace and harmony in their relationships, leading to feelings of self-forgetfulness or self-neglect. Type 9s may struggle with inertia or a lack of motivation to pursue their goals or dreams, feeling stuck or complacent in their

Since this entire podcast is based on the Myers-Briggs system as well as the Enneagram, I highly recommend you listen to episode 2 and 3 at some point. For a quick review the Ox is a stable rule follower… think Ox living in a stable, the Lion is brave and craves freedom, the Eagle is independent, curious and proud, and the Human is emotional and relational. Lions and Eagles are challengers and difficult to parent! You will also hear me referring to “Types 1-9” and this comes from Episode 3 which is an introduction to an amazing system for growing human potential called the Enneagram. Today’s episode applies to every human being on the planet! The perceiving and judging functions J and P in the Myers-Briggs system, determine how we live our lives. The P types are driving a convertible through life with the wind in their hair an no particular destination in mind. The J types are driving a sedan on a highway with a GPS. They are more serious, intentional, and structured. But what happens when you mix the two up and put them all under one roof? Opposites attract so there is a chance you could be a J married to a P. I will give a quick test in this episode so you can get an idea which one you are. We live in a J society but the Ps in our life make things fun. I was doing a seminar and one of the Lion dads was cracking a joke, and I made the mistake of saying your Pness is showing. I will never live that one down and will never do that again! Stay tuned to the end for five amazing tips for working with your P child. Perceiving and Judging, P or J, Free Spirit or Rule Follower Judgers live their lives by following the rules, checking things off the box, making lists, and sticking to time frames. Perceivers live their lives much more spontaneously, forging their own path and leaving their options open. The P or Perceiving and J or Judging preferences are most likely impacting your household in the biggest way since these preferences determine how we live our life on a day-to-day, minute-to-minute basis. Perceivers crave freedom and a top-down, wind-in-your-hair, convertible way of living life. Judgers crave structure and a more top-up, neatly coiffed, sedan existence. A true Perceiver is driving a convertible, without a GPS, on an off-the-beaten path, curvy road. A true Judger is in a sedan with a GPS on a straight, well-traveled highway. Many people bristle at the term Judger because people automatically associate it with being judgmental. However, Judging functions help us make decisions and limit our possibilities. Everyone has two Judging functions and two Perceiving functions that make up their personality. If there were no Judging functions, we would all be sitting around like useless blobs, unable to decide when to eat, sleep, or do anything else. Since all children tend to be somewhat free-spirited, these preferences can be harder to detect when they are younger. Perceivers hate being inhibited with too many boundaries, so it is possible that you will notice an extreme reaction when you stand in the way of their freedom. They prefer the unconventional way of doing things and tend to have difficulty finishing what they started. They also frequently struggle to be on time, follow directions, or stick to a plan. Judging children like to learn the “right way” to do something and are willing to follow conventional parenting styles. They like finishing what they start and knowing what to expect. It might sound like a Judging child is every parent’s dream. For the most part, they are a bit easier to understand, but I get plenty of calls about Judging types that are too controlling. I worked with an amazing adoptive mom of four kids. I want to give a shout out to all my adoptive parents because you are some of the most amazing parents on the planet! Please share this podcast if you are friends with an adoptive parent. Sometimes these parents don’t get to know these children as babies. It is the same way with the step parents I work with. This mom told me she had a voice inside her head that was always wondering if her kids were happy in their new home. One of her daughters, in particular, seemed quiet and reserved. No matter what this mom did to connect with this daughter, it didn’t seem to register. She thought this daughter may have had some kind of attachment issue. Once we worked together, she realized that they were brain opposites. This mother’s natural way of parenting was to be energetic, positive, full of surprises and spontaneity. She is an ENFP, extroverted feeling Human, a type seven, on the Enneagram.  Her daughter was a  reserved, structured and serious ISTJ introverted sensing thinking Ox type. We laughed as I suggested the mom do something completely counterintuitive. She should offer to do a puzzle with her daughter. This mom had never done a puzzle in her life! The daughter absolutely loved it! She loved just hanging out side-by-side with no pressure to talk, while doing a quiet activity. This mom, April Fallon, who is now host of the ADOPTION NOW podcast shared this quote with me. “Roadmap is what I say to people when I tell them about you. You gave us the map for our family and how we all function together. From the moment we met with you our whole lives changed. Learning who is an introvert and extrovert and helping my husband understand my son has transformed their relationship. His understanding of me changed too and now he is nicer to me too! The realization that one of my daughters is exactly the same as him was an eye-opener. I learned how to love them better and help them feel understood. I call them the koala bears. They love to achieve but only because they want the people they love close to them. They are the snuggly people. Three of us are team creative, however one of us is introverted and needs time away in her room. We designed her room to have a happy place that she has learned to adore. And finally, my Type 9 peacemaker, reserved daughter (the one I do puzzles with) notices everything and takes it in. Recently we found out she has auditory processing disorder and that was because we could pull apart what was personality versus what was a real issue. Once we found out, we could support her in the way she needs. She loves one on one time, verbal praise, and outdoor activities like hiking. I never ever ever wonder how or if she loves us or is happy anymore. I know her love runs deep and giving her a space to show it in her own way has been so healing.” If you would like to get the road map for understanding your family and having more peace in your home, go to WendyGossett.com and sign up for my Understanding Your Family 101 Session. You can also purchase my book on Amazon. Your Childs Inner Drive Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens.   I worked with a mom, who is the only J or structured one in a family of P freedom seekers. She has often felt like she was paddling upstream, forcing her will upon everyone. She would schedule practice hours for her boys to do sports and keep close tabs on them. All her expectations weren’t adding up. Everyone in her family needed freedom, which was the opposite of her parenting style. I had to ask her what was more important; the correction or the connection. I’ve had to ask this question to many parents when they are fighting battles over a clean room or how to load the dishwasher. Ask yourself what is more important; correction or connection? Over and over again, I have seen a huge change occur when the parents shift their focus to connection rather than correction. Her boys are both lion P types that had to learn from life and find their own way. It was difficult for her, an extroverted, thinking Ox, type one on the Enneagram, but she realized she had to let them fail. And failure is not as scary as you may think. Some people learn from failing. Whenever a baby is learning to walk, they have to fall over and over again. Pushing themselves up off the floor helps them get stronger. The most successful business people actually try to fail. They make a goal to fail five times in a month because failing means they are trying new things which leads to confidence and success. And it just so happens that P types who explore and try possibilities without thinking of the consequences are some of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world. I’m getting these statistics from Myers Briggs. Sometimes Lion P types don’t enjoy school. What comes naturally to them is being free to use their body in physical, practical pursuits. They like to learn from the school of hard knocks. Some J types use perfectionism as an excuse to not try. Often I have seen perfectionism as a mask for fear. so if you are a structured J parent pulling your hair out because your P child is not falling into line, chances are if you make connection your priority, they may not fall in line but they will land on their feet.  The T Thinking or Prickly and F Feeling or pleasing preferences I talk about in episode 6, play a significant role in how our child Judges or Perceives. If your child is a Thinker and a Judger or TJ, they will be very determined, rigid, and unyielding, which can make them very difficult to parent! If your child is a Feeler and a Perceiver or FP, pleasing you will be ALMOST as important to them as having the freedom to do things their way. They may still have meltdowns that seem to materialize out of nowhere, but for the most part, they are relaxed, go-with-the-flow children. If your child is a Thinker and a Perceiver or TP, get ready for a topsy-turvy time! One minute, they might be playful and relaxed, and the next minute, determined and unyielding. If your child is a Feeler and a Judger or FJ, sit back, make yourself a cup of tea, and relax. This child wants to please, desires structure, and thrives with conventional parenting. Parents with Feeling/Judging children as their firstborn often end up with a false sense of pride in their parenting ability. They c

In this episode, we delve into the age-old debate of nature versus nurture and its impact on our temperament. Discover the findings of an eighty-year Harvard happiness study, revealing that 50% of our happiness capacity is determined by our temperament, which is set at birth. Despite this, we often focus on changing our circumstances rather than accepting our inherent strengths. We explore how temperament influences our reactions to life's challenges and how understanding our children's temperament is crucial for effective parenting. Drawing from real-life examples and psychological research, we examine how temperament manifests from infancy and shapes our experiences and interactions. From fussy babies to strong-willed toddlers, each child exhibits unique traits that remain consistent throughout their lives. Join us as we explore the four main personality patterns: Cooperators (Ox), and (Human)  Challengers (Lion), and (Scarecrows). Through anecdotes and character analyses from literature, such as "The Wizard of Oz," we gain insight into the characteristics and motivations of each personality type. Don't miss out on practical tips for parenting and fostering harmony within your family, tailored to the specific needs of each personality pattern. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of nature versus nurture and its profound impact on our lives.   Website: Get FREE resources at Wendygossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting or on my podcast page. Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett  

Do you feel like you are parenting a unicorn? Does it ever seem like they are the H CH Cr dog in a dog park of golden doodles? Or maybe I just described how you feel? Some personality types are rare, making up only .05% of the population! These lovely souls often go around feeling insecure because they feel like something is wrong with them since they aren’t like everyone else. It is like being a lefty in a righty society! These are the intuitive types. The Scarecrows from the Wizard of Ox also known as the Eagle face of God and the Tinmen or Human face of God. Be sure to listen to Episode 2, Nature or Nurture, the four behavior patterns if you want to learn more. In today’s episode we are going to talk about sensors and intuitives, how to tell them apart and stay tuned to the end because I am going to give you five powerful ways to parent your not so normal kids! Sensing and Intuition, S or N: Reality or Speculation In simple terms, Sensing and Intuition, the second position in the four-letter pattern, refer to Sensing and Intuition show us how we learn, experience, and gather information from the world. Sensors use their five physical senses, and Intuitives use their sixth sense. S and N are like giant funnels that take in information without judging. Their purpose is to observe and gather information. The majority of the world’s population are Sensors (86ish%), so Intuitive types often feel out of place or misunderstood. Sensors talk about reality or what is, and what was. They tend to have down to earth practical concerns. Common topics of conversation range from the weather or the news to a favorite recipe, their new car, or their current workout. Talking about things they can see, hear, touch, taste, or smell right now. Young Sensing children explore their environment by putting everything in their mouths. They learn by observing and doing. These are the kids that eat paste, playdough and crayons! Sensing children like playing with tangible things and activities that are rooted in reality. They are sensory and also have a heightened awareness of textures, smells, tastes and sounds. They are physical and enjoy using their bodies.   Intuitives speculate about intangible questions like, What if …, or, What does it mean?  Their favorite topics of conversation might range from why a company changed the colors of their logo to the meaning of song lyrics or the reason people turn to a life of crime. Introverted intuitives often daydream and get lost in thought and may not see the physical world around them and extroverted intuitives love to brainstorm all their big ideas. Rather than down to earth practical matters, they are often dreaming up something new they can create. I am an intuitive and don’t judge, but I struggle to clean house or cook food. When my children were home, of course I did these things, but now that it is just me and my hubby, we sort of fend for ourselves. I lived off of Costco chicken nuggets wile I was first creating this podcast! Intuitive children are going to engage more in imaginative play and create elaborate storylines. They may speculate into the future and ask questions about abstract topics like existence, time and space. Intuitive Feelers (Tinmen) are relational and empathetic, whereas Intuitive Thinkers (Scarecrow) are conceptual and theoretical. Most Intuitive children tend to talk early, develop impressive vocabularies, and show creativity with theories and ideas. The Introverted Intuitives won’t be as talkative but will show skills in reading earlier than Sensing types. Both S and N types can appreciate facts and speculate about the unknown, but temperament is determined by which mode is most preferred. The differences between Sensing and Intuition can be very difficult to detect in both children and adults. Sometimes, these differences show up unannounced, causing an underlying feeling of inclusion or exclusion, depending on the environment. Sensors are aware and imitative of trends, whereas Intuitives beat to their own drum. Somewhat removed from reality, an Intuitive person perceives life differently than the rest of the world, causing them to occasionally feel like a Chinese crested hairless dog among golden doodles. Intuitive people prefer looking into the deeper meaning that underlies everything. Intuitives can often be found reading books about self-growth and flocking to temperament science like it’s the next big decorating trend from Joanna Gaines…I am goilty…painted my bedroom and bathroom sea salt.  They usually read early, have large vocabularies, and ask “why” questions constantly. Why is it important to understand whether you or your children are Sensing or Intuitive? As stated before, the Intuitive preference is rare and not grounded in reality. You might receive new insight as to how your child sees the world. Maybe you are having a lightbulb moment right now as you realize why your child can’t see his shoes when they are right in front of him. Or why you or your child have never followed fashion trends or have been late to jump on the trend bandwagon. Wide leg jeans and crop tops…HS boys same hair same shorts.. We all use our Intuition, and we all use our five senses, but everyone prefers one to the other. Sensors: Dorothy/Don and Lion Lion Sensors learn by doing. Without thought, they dive in to experience the present moment while Ox/Dorothys like to observe and reference past experiences before they act. Lions “leap before they look,” and Dorothys “look before they leap.” Dorothys are planned and Lions are spontaneous, Dorothys like safety and security and Lions crave freedom. Dorothys are rule followers and Lions are rule ignorers or rule makers…they make their own rules. 4 year old Tyler Candy put up high, late at night cabinet clip unclipping, barstool top of counter to the top of the fridge day earlier penguin legs full of treats. No pockets cuz he had been searched b4, trying not to laugh, when asked what was in his pants, just me! This may sound like your child, but if you aren’t sure take my test and I would love for you to share your own stories with me to be featured on the show. You can share these in my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook group or email me at WendyGossett.com. We will do a whole episode on lion children so stay tuned for that. There are two flavors of sensing. All Lion SP types share a brain function called extroverted sensing or you can think of it as external sensing, because both the introverted thinking and feeling lion types still have extroverted or external sensing. All Ox/Dorothy SJ types have a brain function called introverted or internal sensing because again, even the two extroverted Ox/Dorothy types have introverted or internal sensing. Both are sensors, but they don’t look the same.If you want a very in depth view of introverted or internal sensing, check out the interview with my Ox/Dorothy feeling rule following son Nathan. Intuitives: Scarecrow and Tinman Intuitives learn differently. They learn, experience, and gather information from the world by using their sixth sense. You have probably heard the phrase, “Trust your gut,” which seems to be referring to Intuition, but a person could just as easily say, “What are you Sensing about this or that?” You have probably also heard of a “woman’s Intuition,” causing the mistaken assumption that all women prefer N or Intuition. True Intuitives see the world through a foggy windshield. The world whizzing by looks like an impressionistic painting. The driver is aware of some immediate physical details but prefers to look further down the road for hidden patterns or meanings. And just like there are two kinds of sensing, there are two kinds of intuition. Extroverted or External and introverted or internal. Extroverted or external intuitives are more exploratory in their process, seeing an endless universe of possibilities. They have expansive minds that are open to all possibilities in the physical world, much like a telescope examining the universe or a rocket ship taking off. These children will be very active and seem similar to action-oriented Lion children, but their motivations are different. The Intuitive child’s activity is motivated by a curiosity to understand how the world works, and the extroverted or external Sensor’s motivation is to experience the immediate physical sensations his activity produces. The former is intellectual and imaginative, and the latter is physical and literal. Visionary Intuitives Introverted or internal Intuitives will be less active but more visionary and limiting in their exploration, noticing patterns and relationships that cause them to seem wise beyond their years. They are less tuned into their environment and more tuned into abstract ideas and images they “see” or speculate about in their head. All Intuitive types are more focused on the future than they are present reality, causing them to feel restless and disappointed at times. Since they are always looking many miles down the road, the anticipation for the destination can sometimes supersede the reality of actually being there, leaving them disillusioned with the actual outcome. If you are a sensing parent with an intuitive child, because the 86% odds have it that you are here are some tips to help you parent them Let your extroverted intuitives dream and don’t pour reality rain on their parade. Often times they aren’t really going to do the crazy thing they just want to speculate about what if? Realize you may just be a sounding board for their big ideas. Let your introvert intuitives daydream. You may see them as being unproductive, but they are using their number one brain function which is the air they breathe and the water they swim in. They need time to let their unconscious mind come up with amazing ideas and aha moments. Don’t expect your extroverted intuitives or lions to be neat and organized. Extroverted intuitives see possibilities in everything and may have diff

In this episode Wendy talks about the 3 centers of intelligence in the enneagram system. The Bodoy center which is concerned with control, autonomy and centers around the emotion of anger. The Heart center concerned with attention and self image centers around grief or shame and the Head center, concerned with security and systems or beliefs centers around the emotion of fear or anxiety. We will talk about all nine types and what the fixate on. We will also talk about how people misunderstand and misuse the Enneagram, what it is and what it is not!   Website: Get Free resources at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett

Because this personality type often feels overlooked, it is critical that they feel seen by the most important people in their lives: their parents and siblings. Sometimes their negative emotions can stay buried for weeks without your child even knowing what is bothering them.   My 22 year old son Nathan (who is now graduating with a Pre-Med degree) struggled with ADHD, OCD, anxiety and sensory processing disorder. Through understanding his temperament, as a highly sensitive introvert and a peacemaker, he has learned many ways to build upon his strengths and overcome his weaknesses. Gain insights and helpful coping mechanisms for dealing with all these issues from childhood bedtime routines to asserting boundaries in social interactions, anxiety management, and the quest for self-acceptance. Discover how your child's main brain function (introverted sensing) shapes decision making involving extracurricular choices, social interactions, loyalty, peer pressure, substance curiosity and choosing a life path.   Claim your FREE resource for helping your introverted sensor stand up to peer pressure and other resources for ISFJ type 9's by emailing me at WendyGossett.com and requesting, "Peer Pressure".   Website: Wendy Gossett.com Get FREE resources on my website: https://wendygossett.com/category/resources/ or email me at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett  

ntroverted Thinking Lion ISTP (Introverted Sensing Thinking and Perceiving), Type 8 individuals are intellectually sharp but may lack emotional intelligence, making self-awareness essential. Their affinity for systems makes understanding temperament valuable. Female thinkers constitute only 25% of the population, underscoring the importance of teaching appropriate interactions with women. It's crucial to acknowledge and validate their uniqueness. Encourage Introverted thinking (Ti) individuals to explore logical subjects like engineering, philosophy, or theology, aligning with their strategic, independent nature. For ISTPs, action trumps reading, so practical books with real-life scenarios are ideal. As they mature, purpose-driven books become more appealing. Engage ISTP children by acting out stories and ensuring rules make logical sense to them. Embrace the Lion: Encourage freedom and fun, but address ADHD concerns tactfully, considering placebos and life lessons over medication. Observing the lion's transformative journey from childhood to adulthood reveals adaptability and growth in various aspects of life. Ti's self-discipline and intrinsic motivation require patience and negotiation, favoring silly activities and collaborative rule-making. Recognize and harness Ti-Lion's independence and problem-solving skills, incentivizing with sensory rewards and freedom. Understand Ti-Lion's aversion to losing and preference for logical problem-solving, adapting games and communication methods accordingly. Navigate Ti individuals' lower emotional awareness with rational discussions and group activities, fostering emotional intelligence gradually. For type 8 individuals, fairness and justice are paramount, necessitating fair chore distribution and constructive anger expression outlets. Understanding Ti-Lion's extroverted introversion, provide space for solitude and engage in exciting, challenging activities to connect. Bond with Ti-Lion through stimulating activities, avoiding rigid plans, and embracing spontaneity, fostering a dynamic, fulfilling relationship. Website: Get Free resources at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting  Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ  Instagram is Wendy.Gossett #TemperamentAwareness #IntellectualStrength #EmotionalIntelligence #UniqueIndividuals #LogicalThinkers #PracticalLearning #EmpowermentThroughUnderstanding #SelfDiscoveryJourney #ActionOriented #BooksWithPurpose #EngageThroughPlay #LogicalRules #FreedomAndFun #ADHDAwareness #TransformativeGrowth #SelfDisciplineJourney #NegotiationSkills #ProblemSolvers #FairnessAndJustice #EmotionalAwareness #ConstructiveExpression #IntrovertedExtroverts #DynamicConnections #SpontaneousAdventures #StimulatingActivities #UnconventionalFun

Ever find yourself wondering if your child's behavior is normal? Some personality types don’t respond to traditional parenting. This could be why you are feeling stressed and uncertain how to handle their sibling rivalry, explosive tantrums, disorganization, picky eating, impulsivity, sleep problems, low empathy, high sensitivity or fill in the blank.  Maybe you and your partner don’t feel as close as you once did. Due to all the crazy, you may have lost sight of the connection that brought you together? Are you struggling to identify the God given strengths in your child, connect with your child and be on the same page with your partner? Are you praying for a way to finally relax and feel assured that you are parenting your child in a way that will bring out the best in them?   I understand the journey and have asked these very questions many many many times myself. Both my kids fall outside of the norm. My son is a highly sensitive feeler who broke his arm in band and cross country…not once, but twice! I bet you didn’t realize that band and cross country could be hazardous! He struggled with sensory processing disorder, OCD, anxiety and ADHD. My daughter, on the other hand, is a highly logical thinker, who enjoyed decapitating her American Girl dolls, riding a scooter through the neighborhood with a live chicken on the handlebars and refusing to eat anything unless it was a Cheezit, goldfish or chicken nugget. She struggled with low empathy, low grades and ADHD. I am not normal either, which you will discover if you Google “mom embarrasses son by dancing in a blizzard, on the Interstate to the Backstreet Boys.” If you are familiar with the Myers Briggs system I am an ENFJ and if the Enneagram is your jam, I am a type 1 to 1 type 4 wing 3.  Although I do hold a Master’s degree in education and work as a team building coach, these credentials did not help when it came to managing my own family team and parenting my daughter who is opposite of me in every way and nothing like anyone else in the family. It felt as though she had been beamed down to us from another planet. This is why my understanding extends to parents in blended and adoptive families, where the process of getting to know your new child can be its own unique challenge and feel anything but normal!   There was no user manual for my daughter. Every parenting book I picked up didn’t seem to fit. By the time she was five years old, I felt like I was yelling at her more than I was being positive. She was a tornado of orneryness, very blunt with her negative opinions and she didn’t know how to show appreciation or affection. When I looked at her, all I could see were her weaknesses and I was worried that if I didn’t turn things around and figure out how to reframe the way I saw her, I was going to ruin our relationship and damage her self-esteem. To make matters worse, my son was super easy to understand and parent. She was already commenting on how he was the good kid and she was the bad kid. As I was using Myers Briggs and the Enneagram in my career as a team building coach and educator, I realized these tools could be powerful for helping family teams.  I set out to study child personality patterns and began crafting a best-selling book called "Your Child’s Inner Drive: Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens." Its packed with helpful tools, discipline techniques, and over two hundred real-life case studies from families sharing their unique stories about children of all sixteen personality types. To my surprise, my not so normal kids fell into normalized categories. As it turns out, they were acting perfectly normal for their personality types.  I've also developed a brain mapping system that is equal to a QEEG map of the brain. If you have ever wanted to take a peek into your child’s head to understand why on earth they just threw a perfectly delicious ice cream cone up against the wall, now you can!  With each family member, including your partner, you can pinpoint what is causing the disconnect and figure out solutions.   My goal is to help you grow and learn about yourself so you are able to differentiate your identity from that of your children. Children act out when they don’t feel seen. As soon as I realized how my daughter’s brain was wired, I was able to recognize the strengths I had mistaken for weaknesses. What seemed like an unappreciative, apathetic attitude, was logic and independence. I want to help you see your kids far beyond just WHAT they are doing to truly understanding WHY they are doing it.   On The Not So Normal Parenting podcast will we will discuss how your child's unique brain wiring can provide you with valuable understanding through every stage of their development from the toddler years all the way through to adulthood.   You will learn about all elements of personality through teaching as well as stories from families representing all sixteen Myers Briggs types and 9 Enneagram types to gain a crystal-clear FOCUS for understanding one another and forming appropriate expectations. Through the insights I have gained by working with thousands of personality patterns and conversations with experts in the not-so-normal you will develop a solid FRAMEWORK for building up their best qualities. We will discuss education, discipline, extracurricular activities, relationships and more. Have you ever wished you had a crystal ball to see what the adult version of your child would be like? Enjoy interviews with Adult Temperament Twins of your child's personality type as well as hearing personality data to help you sketch a detailed FORECAST for encouraging them in their future development. Discover your own type and parenting FLAVOR to gain self-awareness and encouragement so you can be a better spouse, friend, family member and coach for your child. The Harvard business journal states that the number one quality of a leader is self- awareness. A parent is a leader! This podcast will help you and your partner appreciate how you complement each so you can effectively lead your children to become the best version of themselves and lead your family team to be connected and harmonious.   Website:  Get FREE resources at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett        

Phil and his family are You Tubers who travel the world. Their website is followabc.com. A B C stands for Always Be Changing which has been the theme of Phil's life. He talks about how his parent's use of simple logic made sense to him as a child. He talks about his exploration, wandering attention in school and round about career path. INTP's usually don't follow a conventional plan. He also talks about parenting his own ENTP son and redirecting his curiosity so that it isn't destructive    Follow the Lockwood Family adventures at Always Be Changing:https://followabc.com/our-story   Website: Get Free resources at WendyGossett.com Get a FREE Child Temperament Test when you join my Not So Normal Parenting Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/notsonormalparenting Book: Your Child's Inner Drive:Parenting by Personality from Toddlers to Teens on Amazon or  https://wendygossett.com/product/your-childs-inner-drive-parenting-by-personality-for-toddlers-to-teens/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaaOCjoDyOk4_gS1KCncLvQ Instagram is Wendy.Gossett