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The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
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The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Author: Robyn Gobbel

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Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. 

You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.

Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!

228 Episodes
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Do you live with someone or love someone who is chronically dysregulated?This episode isn’t an episode that is going to tell you what to do.This is an episode of commiseration. Of “I see you.”It is exhausting to live with someone who is chronically unhappy, or chronically dysregulated. Knowing you’re not alone can help.In this episode, you’ll learnHow nervous systems match each otherHow we get our sense of safety from the state of each other’s nervous systemThe serve & return and rhythms of relationship, and what happens when that gets disrupted Resources mentioned in this podcast:Self-Regulation Doesn’t Exist!!When Parenting Is Traumatic {EP 95}Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3 {EP 163}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/chronicallydysregulated Follow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
***This episode originally aired on February 16th, 2021***Connection.  Empathizing.  Offering choices.  These parenting ideas sound good in theory but if you are living with a child who seems chronically angry or won’t get out of bed or is otherwise pretty much always unhappy or dysregulated- none of those parenting suggestions seem to do much good.  So…what should you do instead???This episode takes you through the three places I always recommend parents start first when they are trying to support their child who feels chronically dysregulated.1. Food, water, and movement2. Structure, routing, and predictability3. Stick closeThese may or may not help your child to decrease their level of arousal and dysregulation but they are always where I recommend parents start first!Download a FREE infographic:https://RobynGobbel.com/dysregulatedinfographicRead a full summary or the full transcript at: www.RobynGobbel.com/alwaysdysegulatedOver on my website you can find:Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
It’s very common for all humans- kids and adults- to have more behavior struggles and dysregulation. Kids with vulnerable nervous systems, as well as attachment trauma, are especially likely to demonstrate some confusing patterns with regard to where they are regulated and where they aren’t. In this episode, you’ll learnThe neurobiology behind why it’s normal for kids (and adults) to behave better at school (or work or out shopping or wherever)How the connections in a family could be the trigger for dysregulationHow all families tend to have moments that ebb and flow in dysregulation- this is normalResources mentioned in this podcast:The Tragedy of Disorganized Attachment (Part 5 of 6) {EP 38}Stress Response System {EP 94}When Connection Isn't Safe {158}Read the full transcript at:  Follow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
***This episode originally aired on May 11th, 2021***You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma?  Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???”Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious.What if I told you it doesn’t matter?Hear me out.Why do you want to figure that out?  Usually because it feels like you’ll handle the situation different based on the answer.But actually, it doesn’t matter. And it’s impossible to determine anyway.What you really want to think about is- how dysregulated is my child?And then respond to that!!  There are some core truths about humans- regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well.  So if you’re child isn’t doing well- ask yourself if this is about regulation, connection, felt-safety or some combination of those.Then, based on your child’s level of arousal/dysregulation, you can intervene in a way that will calm their arousal and bring back their owl brain.   To view the full summary or the full transcript visit: https://robyngobbel.com/traumabehavior/Over on my website you can find:Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Parenting with co-regulating and seeing below our kids behaviors is actually a privilege we rarely talk about. It’s always a privilege, but especially when we consider different marginalized and oppressed identities that a lot of kids- and those of you listening- intersectionally hold. In this episode, you’ll learnThe definition of privilege (it is NOT a criticism)The privilege of safety for folks with histories of traumaThe privilege of safety for folks with other marginalized and oppressed identitiesHow this relates to parenting Resources mentioned in this podcast:Mr. Chazz https://www.mrchazz.com/https://www.instagram.com/mrchazz/Yolanda Williams & Parenting Decolonizedhttps://www.instagram.com/prntgdcolonized/What Happened to You? By Bruce Perry & Oprah WinfreyRead the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/privilegeFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Parents of kids with a history of relational and complex trauma are some of the loneliness people I’ve ever known.The loneliness of parenting becomes compounded when the loneliness isn’t seen.The loneliness is traumatic.  It leaves an imprint on our spirits that wreaks havoc on our health (physical and mental) and our relationships (with others, and with ourself).Undoing aloneness is one of the most important ways professionals and helpers can support parents of children impacted by trauma.Parents- it's important to find spaces where you can be fully welcomed, seen, and known.  Friends, partners, therapists, support groups- face to face connections are life-changing of course, but the pandemic has taught us that even virtual connection changes the brain.Undoing Aloneness is one of the primary reasons I created The Club- a virtual community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids impacted by trauma, and the professionals who adore them.  CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new membersOver on my website, you can also read and share a blog about Undoing Aloneness.Follow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Kids with vulnerable nervous systems often say BIG, hurtful, and scary words. They say things like “I hate you!” or “You hate me!” They sometimes threaten to hurt themselves- or you! Verbal aggression almost always pulls us right onto the watchdog pathway ourselves- which is understandable. Let’s talk about how you might respond if you’re able to hang onto your owl brain.In this episode, you’ll learnTo stay focused on the level of activation, not the words being saidWhat to say (if anything) back to statements like “I hate you,” “I wish you’d never adopted me,” or “I’m going to hurt you.” How to start listening for what’s really being expressedResources mentioned in this podcast:Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {EP 155}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/hateFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Robyn explores the grief in parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems In this episode, you’ll learn:The relationship between trauma and griefWhy it's important to make space for grief in our kids and in ourselvesThe role of self-compassionHow a lack of media representation of your parenting journey causes griefResources mentioned in this podcast:Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbookRead a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/griefOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Have you ever felt confused by your child’s silly behavior? It seems like they are having fun, but it doesn’t feel good at all?In this episode, you’ll learnHow to tell the difference between fun-silly and dysregulated-sillyWhat’s going on in the brain and nervous system for a child who is dysregulated-sillyPractical ideas for how to support your child returning to regulation, connection, and felt safetyResources mentioned in this podcast:The Connected Therapist by Marti SmithJoin The Club! Watch Marti's Master Class! - robyngobbel.com/theclubMarti’s video podcast & lycra tutorials: https://martiot.podbean.com/What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean? {EP 122}Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/sillinessFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Our kids don’t need us to be perfect.  Not only do they not need us to be perfect, it would actually be bad for them if we were.  In fact, research shows parents are in attunement with their children about 30% of the time.  30%!  That’s it!  When I teach, I often reassure parents that ⅓ of their interactions with their child are “getting it right.”  About ⅓ of the time they are “getting it wrong” (whatever that even means- we all have our own, valid definitions).  The rest? The remaining ⅓? Well ideally, the other ⅓ is spent in repair.  Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/RuptureRepairOver on my website you can find:Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Parenting ‘experts’ forget to tell you the most important thing.All this advice???You’ll never do it all the time or even most of the time.You don’t need to.That’s not the point.Together - me and you - let’s just aim for 1% better. Professionals- this one's for you, too. In this episode, you’ll learnA parenting professionals #1 job is to trust their clientsAim for 1% improvement. 5% ‘getting it right’ is better than 4%!Professionals don’t need all the answers. They need to believe their clients and not give upResources mentioned in this podcast:Neuroimmune Disorders and Big, Baffling, Behaviors With Dr. Qazi Javed {Ep 97}Neuroimmune From The Inside Out {Ep 98}Loving Someone With Baffling Behaviors {Ep 99}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/enoughFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
What is a vulnerable nervous system and how do you know if your child has one? Understanding what is meant by "vulnerable nervous system" can help you support your child with big, baffling behaviors.In this episode, you’ll learn:What do I mean by vulnerable nervous systemHow to know if your child has a vulnerable nervous systemWhat causes nervous system vulnerabilityHow to support a child who has a vulnerable nervous systemResources mentioned in this podcast:Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/Attachment Series ebook: Robyngobbel.com/ebookThe Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClubRead a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/vulnerableOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Sometimes it’s those lower-level, chronic behaviors- like rudeness and sassiness- that can really deplete the very limited reserves we have saved up in our own window of stress tolerance. Then we waffle between over-responding (big reaction, tiny problem) or under-responding (ignoring dysregulation which ultimately leads to increased dysregulation). Kids in chronic protection mode often seem rude, sassy, and mildly oppositional. What do we do when it feels like every word out of our own mouths would be to correct our kid’s tone or disrespect?In this episode, you’ll learnWhere sassy, rude, and disrespectful language usually falls on the watchdog continuumPossibilities about what really be underneath your child’s rude behaviorTimes when it makes sense for our kids to have a what’s up watchdog brain response that we should respect, not try to changeResources mentioned in this podcast:Boundaries With Verbal Aggression With Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/rudeFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Understanding the difference between having influence over behavior vs. control can help you get clear on what to focus on. One of the trickier parts of the work I do is talking so much with parents about attachment, their role in co-regulation, and felt-safety, without snagging into parent’s shame about every parent's deepest worry- that their child’s baffling behaviors are all their fault.In this episode, you’ll learn:What it means to influence, not controlWhat your real responsibility is in influencing behaviorResponsibility does not equal blameHow to acknowledge influence without shameRead a summary or the full transcript at:robyngobbel.com/influencebehaviorsOver on my website you can find:Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
If you’ve ever wanted to eavesdrop on a conversation between two attachment, trauma, and neuro-nerds, today is your chance.Robyn and her dear friend and colleague, Jessica Sinarski, got together a few weeks ago for a live webinar to chat about how they have turned attachment science into practice.If you missed that webinar, here’s your chance to listen in.In this episode, you’ll learnWhy most therapy trainings are inadequate for working with children with trauma and attachment historiesHow Robyn & Jessica learned how to put attachment science into practiceWhat to do if your clients what a behavioral approachWhy we don’t have to have all (or even most) of the answersResources mentioned in this podcast:Moving Beyond Trauma Informed with Jessica SinarskiBeing With with Robyn GobbelThere might be more, I’m not sureRead the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/attachmentscience/Follow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between.In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship!In this episode, you’ll learnHow availability of connection is a cue of safety or dangerHow neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervous system (connection or protection?)Why nervous systems are contagiousHow ‘between’ cues of safety eventually become ‘inside’ cues of safetyHow you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession modeResources mentioned in this podcast:Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101}Amanda Diekman’s Book! - Low-Demand ParentingRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetweenFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what’s happening in the environment.In this episode, you’ll learnMisconceptions about felt safetyExternal (outside) cues of felt safety, such as the environment, sensory experiences, structure, and environmental demandsWhat we do with this informationResources mentioned in this podcast:What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}Marti’s Book! - The Connected TherapistRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyoutsideFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Let’s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation.This week begins a three-part deep-dive into the foundational concept of felt safety.What is felt safety, what isn’t felt safety, and why it matters!Next we will explore the many different ways we are all neuroceiving safety (or not) from our inner world.In this episode, you’ll learnMisconceptions about felt safetyInternal cues of felt safety, such as hunger, illness, or being in chronic protection modeWhat we do with this informationResources mentioned in this podcast:Focus On the Nervous System to Change Behavior {Ep 84}What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}Connection or Protection??? {Ep 7}Enabling Vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinsideFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
There’s a lot of confusion about what co-regulation really is.  Parents often say to me something like “OK, I get it- I’m supposed to give co-regulation instead of a consequence.  But- what does that really mean?  Like- what does co-regulation actually look like in real life?”Listen to the episode to learn:What regulation really isWhat co-regulation really isThe ‘ingredients’ of co-regulationAn example of in-real-life co-regulation (with an older child)Active vs. passive co-regulationIn this podcast, I mention:Is it really about trust? Or not enough co-regulation?  Building the Tower of Self-RegulationRegulation Does Not Equal CalmFREEOne-page PDF infographic on What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like!CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inboxYou can read a longer summary AND get a full transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/coregulationOver on my website you can find:Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
Behavior is just what we see on the outside that tells us about what’s happening on the inside.If we want to change behavior, we have to change what’s driving the behavior.This approach to behavior change rests on the idea that regulated, connected kids who feel safe behave well.  If you’re curious about how I came to that conclusion, you can watch my free masterclass and download the free eBook on Focus on the Nervous System!How many times have you felt confused because of conflicting parenting advice?Or how often has good parenting advice worked- but only some of the time?That’s because parenting advice is aimed at stopping a behavior. But…Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ChangeBehaviorOver on my website you can find:Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 
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