Per My Last Email

This week’s letter writers are looking to change their relationships to work. One is wondering if it’s time to leave UX all together and monetize a hobby instead. The other is a budding thought leader…who gets the ick whenever they say “thought leader.” Sara and Jen have brought out all their best questions and resources to help these folks get unstuck and plan their next career move—without ignoring the human being at the center.Links:Don’t feel like an expert? Share anyway.Check out the new book Present Yourself from Women Talk DesignHone your Spiky Point of ViewJoin the Manager’s Playbook May cohortGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

Our letter writers today are really going through it—public undermining, misogyny, gaslighting, intense micromanagement. So how can you speak up or push back when your manager is making you miserable? And what if it feels pointless to even try? Sara and Jen jump in with tools for holding difficult, but healthy, conversations with your manager—and also how to avoid letting bad managers suck up all the space in your life. Links:Identify your needs with BICEPSRead Alicia Ostarello’s essay on healing from burnoutGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

Today’s episode is all about job titles—and all the weird feelings that come with them. Our first letter writer enjoys their work and is paid well, but feels like they’ve been leveled lower than their peers. Another is considering a “demotion” to manage burnout, but is worried about taking a long-term hit in their career. They’re turning to Sara and Jen to help them get unstuck—without racing back onto the corporate ladder.Links:Identify your needs with BICEPSGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

Today’s letter writers are working to make change in their organizations…but they’re running into all kinds of roadblocks. One wants their discipline to get more respect, but feels ignored and outnumbered. The other is pushing their company to hire more inclusively than “people we already know”—and hitting a brick wall. They’re both frustrated and exhausted. Listen in as Sara and Jen help them decide how to move forward—without burning out or burning bridges.Links:On moral injury: Employees Are Sick of Being Asked to Make Moral CompromisesSign up for Power Shift (registration ends 2/6)Got a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

Career transitions are always hard, but today’s letter writers are having an especially tough time deciding what their next move should be. One’s finding that their field of choice isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Another’s struggling to know how to position a harmful past experience in a way that doesn’t count them out of future opportunities. Both are feeling really stuck—and looking for help from Sara and Jen to decide what’s next for them, and how to get there. Links:Sign up for Power Shift (register by 12/31 to save $150)Got a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

“Prioritize better,” “lead more,” “be more assertive.” In today’s episode, Sara and Jen take on questions from listeners who are deep in the midst of corporate gaslighting and help them understand their feelings, assess their options, and find a way forward—without just working harder.Links:Read Sara’s article: Hey Designers, They’re Gaslighting YouCheck out “Gaslighter” by The ChicksIs Therapy-Speak Making Us Selfish?The Moral Injury Project at Syracuse University  Jen’s Luddite book rec: Blood in the MachineJoin us for Reclaim Your PowerGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

“Transparency” sounds like a good thing…but is it always? When should you share personal info with your boss? What if you know a layoff is coming? This week, Jen and Sara look at tough situations about disclosing information—and help two listeners with very different scenarios decide whether spilling the tea is the right thing to do, or if it’ll cause more harm than good. Links:Explore the depths of WaterTokEpisode 8: Why you gotta be so rude?The Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978 (USA)The Equality Act of 2010 (England, Scotland, Wales)Got a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com

What do you do when your burnout doesn’t just feel like exhaustion, but more like disillusionment—and maybe even cynicism? In today’s episode, Sara and Jen tackle questions from listeners who are struggling to keep afloat amid job search burnout, career malaise, and the kinds of communication breakdowns that leave us questioning, well, everything. Links:Layoffs.fyi is tracking aggregate numbers of tech industry layoffs.According to Techcrunch, we’re probably past the worst of it.You don’t have to love networking, but you probably need to make peace with it. Jennifer Kim’s guide can help.Got a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com. 

Managers being paid less than their ICs, punitive raise structures, cryptic pay bands…this week’s submitters are really going through it. But how do you start the compensation conversation when information is hard to come by? And what do you do when you’re told that there’s no way you’ll get a raise—just accept being paid less than your peers forever? This week, Sara and Jen tackle questions of pay inequity, when it’s time to fight, and when it might be time to move on.   Links:Curious what other people in the field are making? Take a look at the Global UX Compensation Database!For Equal Pay Day, Survey Monkey polled users on their beliefs about pay equity. It found that “men and younger Americans are the most likely to incorrectly believe that genders are paid equally for similar jobs.”Join Rachel de Jong for Own Your Impact with StrengthsFinderGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

For many of us, our work identity and sense of self have become tied in a big knot. When your job has become your identity, it's easy to get stuck. How do you know when it’s time to stay and fight for change, or move onto something new? This week, Sara and Jen work through dilemmas from folks looking for a way forward—without losing themselves in the process.Links:If Books Could Kill: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From VenusJoin The Courageous Leadership ProgramGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

It shouldn’t be this hard to find a job that pays you well, fulfills you, and keeps your values intact. But when disillusionment and burnout strike, it can be hard to deal with workplace tradeoffs. Is the answer simply to strike out on your own?Navigating uncertainty, building your identity outside of work, and juggling passion projects: this week, Sara and Jen tackle dilemmas from folks looking for ways to align work with their values—without going broke.  Links:Schedule a strategy session with Sara or Jen Got a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

Ever dealt with someone demanding that you find them a new job? Or have a friend and colleague go cold and ghost you the moment you get laid off? What about getting berated and then iced out by the head of your org? Other people’s unkind, over-the-top, and just plain rude behavior can make you question everything—even yourself. So how do you find a path forward? That’s what Sara and Jen tackle in this week’s episode. Links:Post-pandemic incivility on the riseMeet your shadow selfNonviolent communication and the “Four Ds of Disconnection”Got a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

Dehumanizing hiring processes, swoop-and-poop bosses, and maybe the biggest question of all: does my design work even matter if I don’t care about propping up capitalism? This week, Sara and Jen answer dilemmas about pushing back against exploitative requests, working around a faux-inclusive boss, and managing disillusionment with design. And through it all, a theme emerges: How do you handle the tension between two conflicting truths? Links:The 2023 Content Design and UX writing survey results Sara worked on Ask a Manager: Should you do free work as part of a job interview?How to use “job crafting” to make your work more meaningfulGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com

Canceled 1:1s, unrecognized accomplishments, meetings that drag on for eternity…oh my. When you have a conflict with your manager, it can feel incredibly risky to speak up. But having the courage to broach a difficult topic can be the first step toward real change. In this episode, Sara and Jen talk self-advocacy: how to identify your needs, outline desired outcomes—and actually START the conversation! Links:Read up on how the Wage Gap Shortchanges MothersCan you believe working moms get 58 cents for every dollar dads earn?Check out this study from Gender Action PortalMore on how work from home is increasing bias against working mothersRequired reading: Women in the Workplace 2022 study by McKinsey & Company and Lean InHow do you create a culture of psychological safety? Learn from Amy Edmonson’s Ted Talk and Alla Weinberg’s book A Culture of Safety. (Psst—you can download the book for free!)Go get that COIN (Context, Observations, Impact, and Next Steps, that is)Got a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

Layoffs are on a lot of people’s brains right now—but the challenges and complicated feelings aren’t limited to those who were laid off. In a bit of a companion to last week’s episode, Sara and Jen help listeners work through how to move on after others have lost their jobs, how to find your footing if your role has changed in a post-layoff reorg, and how to be present and supportive to loved ones who are struggling when your own work is going well.Links:Identify your needs with BICEPSWe’re SURE you deserve to ask for what you need at workLet’s all “sit in the shit” with Samira RajabiGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

From the surprise notice, to the advance tipoff, to the not-even-one-year-in-your-role dissolution, layoffs take many forms. But hardly any of us give ourselves the space to grieve the loss before we throw ourselves back into the job search. This week, Sara and Jen discuss how to be kind to yourself after a layoff, build a sustainable action plan even in a tough job market, and avoid sinking into panic mode along the way. Links:Tracking tech layoffs with layoffs.fyi We ❤️ a feelings wheelIs it just grief, or is it institutional betrayal? (CW for sexual assault)Got a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

Boundary-trampling coworkers. Absentee HR reps. And a whole lot of weird boss behaviors. This week, Sara and Jen help listeners make sense of toxic, abusive, and otherwise harmful situations—so they can process their feelings, get the support they need, and take meaningful action. Links:“Grey rocking” – how to bore a toxic narcissist out of your lifeGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com

What do you do when your needs aren’t being met or your boundaries are getting trampled? On today’s episode, Jen and Sara walk listeners through ways to advocate for yourself at work—without justifying your existence, begging for your boundaries to be respected, or feeling like a failure if it doesn’t work. You’ll come away with a few scripts you can try in your own workplace—and our very sincere permission to drop some of those balls you keep juggling. Links:Textio: “The truth about bias in performance feedback”Paloma Medina’s BICEPS modelSet Boundaries, Find PeaceThe Book of BoundariesGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

You deserve an equitable, actionable, and thoughtful performance review. So how do you move forward when you get…something else entirely? That’s what we’re tackling in our very first episode. Listen in as Jen and Sara coach people through big dilemmas—and even bigger feelings—about the wild and weird world of performance reviews. You’ll leave with new tools to help you rebound after unfair or unexpected feedback…or at least some good stories for the group chat.   Links:Common cognitive distortions at workThe 40 Best Questions to Ask in an InterviewGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.com.

Introducing Per My Last Email—coming April 13How can I get my boss to advocate for me and have my back? Should I disclose my disability? Why can’t I juggle all of this work? Work raises a lot of questions—and too many of them get stuck in our heads, rattling around until we feel overwhelmed and unqualified. No more. Join hosts Sara Wachter-Boettcher and Jen Dionisio for this brand-new podcast designed to help you work through all the big feelings and confusing situations that come up at work. Each episode, they’ll share real-life dilemmas listeners are struggling with—from how to respond to passive-aggressive emails to what to do when your boss gives you truly terrible feedback. Then they’ll share the tools they use in their coaching sessions to help listeners get through whatever work throws their way.  Per My Last Email starts April 13—so subscribe now wherever you listen to podcasts. Because work gets weird. Sara and Jen can’t wait to help you get through it. Submit a dilemma to the show--Theme music: “(I’m A) Modern Woman” by Maria TProducer: Emily DuncanCreated by: Active Voice