Proxy with Yowei Shaw

The case of the dog trainer who loves her dogs, but doesn't feel close to them anymore. Please note: This story contains brief mention of suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8, or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.Funding for this story was provided by the University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, as part of its “Spreading Love Through the Media” initiative, supported by the John Templeton Foundation.From the episode: — Jen Blough, LPC — therapist, compassion fatigue educator,  and author of To Save a Starfish: A Compassion Fatigue Workbook for the Animal Welfare Warrior — learn about her compassion fatigue certification program and more: www.animalwelfarewellness.comResources on compassion fatigue, pet caregiving, and pet loss:—Compassion fatigue resources from ASPCApro—Professional Quality of Life Scale (ProQOl) — a free self-assessment tool for compassion satisfaction, burnout, and secondary traumatic stress—Pet caregiver burden resources from Insight Animal Behavior Services—Cornell Pet Loss Support HotlineNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Brian Can't Stop Fact-Checking His Mother-In-Law — when love, duty, and resentment get tangled upFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Caitlin Myer, a writer who relied on her internal narrator... until one day it disappeared. Proxy is back with new cases every other Tuesday. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next one.From the episode: — Caitlin Myer — author of Wiving— support her on Patreon and learn more: www.caitlinmyer.com— Greta Morgan — author of The Lost Voice — sign up for her Patreon and newsletter: www.gretamorganmusic.comNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when the road not taken won’t leave you aloneFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Once upon a time, Yowei felt embarrassed to have a boyfriend—not because of him, but because of what it said about her. This story comes from the Love Letters podcast. Listen to more of their episodes here. Proxy is back with new cases every other Tuesday. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next one.New to Proxy? Start with Bisexual Wife Guy — it’s one of the clearest examples of what this show does.

Nicole is an organizer who's good at channeling her anger. The problem is she can't always downshift. Proxy is back with new cases every other Tuesday. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next one.From the episode: — Deborah Gould — Professor and Chair of Sociology at UC Santa Cruz, and author of Moving Politics: Emotion and ACT UP's Fight Against AIDSNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Zakiya Used to Be So Fun — on missing a version of yourself you can’t quite get backFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Erin wants to forgive the person she's holding a grudge against, but doesn't know how. Is it possible to just disappear resentment?From the episode: — Find Robert Enright — find his forgiveness program and free resources at the International Forgiveness Institute: www.internationalforgiveness.com— Read his book Forgiveness Is A Choice: A Step-By-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope New to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or JC's Kids Won't Talk To Her — when your version of a relationship doesn't match theirsFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Yaroslava’s town in Ukraine was taken by Russians. She's now safe in the US. But how do you make a new life when you feel guilty about not being home?From the episode: — Dignity Beyond Borders — learn more about their work: www.dignitybeyondborders.org, Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn: @dignitybeyondborders— Yaroslava — on Instagram: @yasiiaaaa— Sariyah Abuzant — watch her film FordDat:https://vimeo.com/1101397354?fl=pl&fe=sh— Dignity Beyond Borders — learn more about their work: www.dignitybeyondborders.org Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn: @dignitybeyondborders— Yaroslava — on Instagram: @yasiiaaaa— Sariyah Abuzant — watch her film FordDat: https://vimeo.com/1101397354New to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when the road not taken won’t leave you aloneFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

A historic step in extrovert-introvert relations i.e. a proxy bloodbath roundtable with 2 extroverts and 2 introverts airing our grievances about each other. From the episode: — Aparna Nancherla — wrote Unreliable Narrator and is on Instagram @aparnapkin: www.aparnacomedy.com— Ryan Letts — runs Pando Integration Coaching— Jennifer Kahnweiler — hosts Introvert Ally and wrote The Genius of Opposites: www.jenniferkahnweiler.comNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — it's one of the clearest examples of what this show doesIf this episode hit something for you: — Try Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when the road not taken won’t leave you aloneFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

At the heart of many family estrangements lies a mystery. Adult kids insist they’ve told their parents why they’re walking away, while parents say they don’t understand. Why is it sometimes so hard for parents to hear their kids? And how to get through?From the episode: — Becca Bland — follow her work with families and people surviving estrangement: www.beccabland.com— Joshua Coleman — read New Rules of Estrangement, subscribe to his newsletter Family Troubles, and learn more: www.drjoshuacoleman.com— Kim Nederveen Pieterse — listen to more of her reporting: www.kimnp.orgNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Yaroslava Can’t Go Back Home — on grieving relationships that have changed in ways you can’t undoFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the mom who doesn’t understand, and the daughter who’s done explaining.From the episode: — Chess Dugas — makes The Scapegoat Club on YouTube and TikTok: @thesscapegoatclub— Joshua Coleman — wrote New Rules of Estrangement and publishes the newsletter Family Troubles: www.drjoshuacoleman.com— Kim Nederveen Pieterse — listen to more of her reporting: www.kimnp.orgNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — it's one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or An Estrangement Mystery — wanting to understand why a relationship ended—and not being able toFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Alex used to host a huge podcast (Reply All). He now makes a new independent show and loves doing it. Only problem is, Alex now has to ask for money all the time to survive, which he hates.From the episode: — Alex Goldman — host of the podcast Hyperfixed: www.hyperfixedpod.com— Haley Bash — founder of Donor Organizer Hub, a support network for people fundraising for under-resource causes: www.donororganizerhub.org— The Accidental Fundraiser — Haley's step-by-step guide to raising money for your causeNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or The First Ever Extrovert–Introvert Cage Match — when friends just have very different ways of beingFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Ever since the election, Sandy Ernest Allen has been clocking a strange silence from cis people about trans rights. So Sandy reached into the void to hear what the silence had to say.From the episode: — Sandy Ernest Allen — writes the newsletter What's Helping Today:  www.sandyernestallen.com— "To Cis People Who Feel Despair" — Sandy's guide to supporting trans people— The post on Bluesky: @sandyernestallen— Support Sandy's writing: https://buymeacoffee.com/sandyallenNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show doesIf this episode hit something for you: — Or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro — when the world feels overwhelming—and it starts to take over how you feelFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Anya Kamenetz was having trouble coping with the state of the world. So she decided to report on those feelings. In this conversation, Anya shares what she learned from talking to scientists, activists, and thinkers about our collective emotions - why we feel the things we do, the limits of those feelings, and how to move through them to take action. From the episode:— Anya Kamenetz — writer of the newsletter The Golden Hour— We Are the Great Turning — a podcast she produced with eco-spiritual teacher Joanna Macy, about love, courage, and connection in the climate crisisNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro — when the world feels overwhelming and it starts to take over how you feelFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the people person who fell out of love with people. From the episode: — Zakiya Gibbons — on Instagram @zak_sauce — more of her work: www.zakiyagibbons.com— Dr. William Chopik — studies relationships and personality — more about his research: www.chopiklab.com, Bluesky @Chops310, X @Chops310New to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or The First Ever Extrovert–Introvert Cage Match — when you feel out of sync with the people around youFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Amanda, a writer whose internal monologue won't stop narrating her life, instead of just letting her live it.From the episode: — Amanda Montell — author of The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut, and host of the podcasts Magical Overthinkers and Sounds Like a Cult — on Instagram@amanda_montell— Jonathan Adler — personality psychologist — more about his work: www.jonathan-adler.comX @JonathanMAdler, Bluesky @jadler.bsky.social, and LinkedInNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Caitlin Lost Her Voice — when the voice in your head disappears and you don't know who you are without itFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Brian, a journalist whose mother-in-law has Alzheimer's. Even though Brian knows she can’t help misremembering things, he can’t stop losing his patience with her, and with himself. From the episode: — Brian Reed — host of the podcast Question Everything — on Instagram @brihreed, X @BriHReed— Claudia Drossel — psychology p rofessor at Eastern Michigan University — caregiving resources mentioned in this episodeNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or JC's Kids Won't Talk To Her — when a family relationship fractures and the story isn't clearFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Evan and Chris, best friends who love playing music together. But after the band suffers a terrible tragedy, they find themselves unable to regain their momentum. We pair them up with another musician who’s all too familiar with the neverending drama that comes with being in a band with friends. From the episode: — The Superweaks — listen to their single "Blindside" and The Superweaks Superweekly Supercast episode where Yowei stumbles into the case — on Instagram @thesuperweaks— Ryan Dusick — author of Harder to Breathe: A Memoir of Making Maroon, Losing It All, and Finding Recovery, and host of The Harder To Breathe podcast — on Instagram @ryan_michael_dusick— The Music Industry Therapist Collective: www.musicindustrytherapists.comNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Alex and the Impossible Ask — when a relationship asks for something you don’t know how to giveFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

For a long time, Yowei saw her introversion as a character flaw to fix. She gets advice from comedian (and fellow introvert) Aparna Nancherla about how to stop wishing for personality puberty to hit.From the episode:  — Aparna Nancherla, author of Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Imposter Syndrome — on Instagram @aparnapkin: www.aparnacomedy.com— Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan CainNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or The First Ever Extrovert–Introvert Cage Match — when you feel like you’re too much or not enough around othersFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Mic, who feels like he defied his fate and now has no purpose in life. We find someone uniquely able to help him break out of his regret loop. From the episode: — Mic Nguyen — co-host of the podcast Asian Not Asian — on Instagram @nicepantsbro— Amy Summerville's paper — one of the most cited articles on regretNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Zakiya Used to Be So Fun — when you miss a version of yourself you used to beFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of George, the bisexual wife guy who got dumped. In this episode, we find a proxy to stand in for a listener's ex - another queer woman who left her straight relationship.Proxy is back with new cases every other Tuesday. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next one.From the episode: Hanna Rosin, host of the podcasts Radio Atlantic and Chutzpod! — on X and Instagram: @hannarosinNew to Proxy?— Try Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when the road not taken won’t leave you alone— Or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro — when the world feels overwhelming and it starts taking over how you feelFor episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Yowei shares exciting show news and goes on a self-delusion bender with the team at Proxy HQ. Is she being delusional? Or is delusion just necessary for starting any new project?From the episode: — Useful Delusions: The Power & Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain by Shankar Vedantam— Radiotopia from PRXNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does