Psychologists Off the Clock

Have you ever found yourself holding onto feelings of guilt or shame long after a difficult experience or mistake? In this episode, Jill sits down with Dr. Carolyn Allard, a leading voice in trauma-focused psychology and research. Together, they unpack the complex nature of guilt and shame, especially when these emotions become non-adaptive in the face of trauma or hardship. Carolyn, who is also the author of Transform Your Guilt and Shame: Evidence-Based Strategies to Heal from Trauma and Adversity, shares how to recognize the difference between guilt and shame and introduces the idea of “non-adaptive guilt and shame” (NAGS). You’ll gain insight into how these emotions link to moral injury and other trauma responses, and walk away with actionable tools such as hindsight bias and justification analysis to better understand, challenge, and manage them.Listen and Learn: How guilt and shame differ lies in focus, as guilt is about actions and shame is about identity, and why they matterHow moral injury can emerge from situations where individuals face impossible choices that conflict with their values, leading to lasting feelings of guilt and shameWhy we feel non-adaptive guilt and shame often comes down to distorted beliefs about responsibility, justification, and values, and how understanding these patterns helps us break free from self-blame and move toward self-compassionHow hindsight bias can trick us into unfair self-judgment, and by reflecting on our choices and context at the time, we can gain a clearer, kinder perspectiveUnderstanding the difference between accountability (being answerable) and responsibility (having control or intention) and how this helps us untangle guilt and shame, process mistakes effectively, and break the self-reinforcing cycles of trauma that impair our ability to act according to our valuesResources: Transform Your Guilt and Shame: Evidence-Based Strategies to Heal from Trauma and Adversity: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781433843419 Carolyn’s Website: https://www.carolynallardphd.com/Connect with Carolyn on Social Media: Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/carolynallardphd.bsky.social Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/p/Carolyn-Allard-PhD  LinkedInhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/carolyn-allard-99749155/About Carolyn B. AllardCarolyn B. Allard ,PhD, ABPP, is internationally recognized for her trauma-focused research and clinical expertise. She is a licensed, board-certified clinical psychologist, Distinguished Professor and Program Director of the Clinical Psychology PhD Program at Alliant International University. Before that, she directed a trauma clinic at the VA San Diego Healthcare System and served as clinical faculty at the University of California San Diego. Carolyn also serves on the executive council of the American Psychological Association’s Trauma Division and its scientific journal’s editorial board, and has over 200 scientific publications and presentations. For over 20 years, she has been providing therapy, training and consultation in empirically supported therapy for posttraumatic distress; and conducting research focused on socio-cultural and contextual predictors of posttraumatic distress and treatment outcomes. She co-developed Trauma Informed Guilt Reduction (TrIGR), the evidence-based therapy that is the basis of her latest book, Transform Your Guilt and Shame, a self-guided workbook. Besides making psychology accessible, Carolyn is passionate about traveling and promoting compassion. Visit CarolynAllardPhD.com for more information.Related Episodes:118. Moral Injury and Shame with Lauren Borges and Jacob Farnsworth416. Trauma and PTSD Treatment with Robyn Walser383. What My Bones Know: C-PTSD with Stephanie Foo417. Busting Trauma Treatment Myths with Emi Nietfeld405. Taming the Inner Critic with Holly Yates and Shawn Whooley341. Self-Forgiveness with Grant Dewar279. ACT for Healing Black Racial Trauma with Jennifer Shepard PayneSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

These days, it feels like we’re bombarded with information from every direction, and figuring out what’s true can be overwhelming. Yael sits down with Alex Edmans, author of May Contain Lies, for a fascinating conversation about how misinformation shapes the way we see the world. They talk about why even fact-checking has its limits and how common biases, such as wanting to confirm what we already believe or seeing things in black and white, can cloud our judgment. Using everyday examples, from the Atkins diet to debates about breastfeeding, Alex shows how data can be bent to tell almost any story. We invite you to stay curious but skeptical, with practical strategies for navigating opposing views and creating more thoughtful, respectful conversations.Listen to POTC ad-free for just $5 a month by becoming a Mega Supporter on Patreon! Or, support the podcast with a one-time donation at Buy Me A Coffee!Listen and Learn:Why simply “checking the facts” isn’t enough and how even accurate data can mislead when context, updates, or evolving evidence are ignoredHow confirmation bias subtly shapes our judgments, even among experts and leadersWhy we’re drawn to simple, black-and-white explanations and how applying scientific thinking and questioning our own biases helps us see nuance, challenge popular myths, and make more informed decisionsThe danger of oversimplified advice and the lasting impact of misinformation, and why real progress and understanding come from embracing complexity and questioning easy answersBeing “data-driven” isn’t enough, and true understanding comes from distinguishing data from evidenceHow reframing conflict through curiosity and focusing on shared goals, rather than opposition, can transform disagreements into opportunities for collaboration, deeper understanding, and personal growthManaging disagreements by calming their initial reactions, focusing on shared goals, and giving others the benefit of the doubt, turning conflict into an opportunity for understanding and growthResources: May Contain Lies: How Stories, Statistics, and Studies Exploit Our Biases--And What We Can Do about It https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780520405851 Alex’s Website: https://alexedmans.com/ Connect with Alex on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/aedmanshttps://www.linkedin.com/in/aedmans/https://twitter.com/aedmans About Alex Edmans: Alex Edmans is a Professor of Finance at London Business School, where his ability to translate complex ideas has earned him 28 teaching awards and the title of Poets & Quants Professor of the Year in 2021. His journey has taken him from Oxford to Wall Street (Morgan Stanley), then to MIT as a Fulbright Scholar for his PhD, followed by tenure at Wharton before joining LBS.Alex moves fluidly between academia and the real world—he's testified in Parliament, spoken at Davos, and somehow convinced 3 million people to watch his TED talks. His latest book, May Contain Lies: How Stories, Statistics, and Studies Exploit Our Biases—And What We Can Do About It, arrives at exactly the right moment for our post-truth era, where everyone's an expert and every statistic can be bent to tell the story you want to hear.Related Episodes:245. Family Firm with Emily Oster311. Nobody’s Fool with Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris382. The Anxious Generations? The Conversation We Should be Having About Kids, Technology, and Mental HealthSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not knowing the answer can feel unsettling, but what if uncertainty was actually something to embrace? In this episode, Michael sits down with Elizabeth Weingarten to explore that idea. Elizabeth, whose work spans top publications and research programs, shares insights from her book How to Fall in Love with Questions: A New Way to Thrive in Times of Uncertainty. Their conversation unpacks why we often resist uncertainty and how curiosity, community, and authenticity can transform the way we approach life’s biggest unknowns. She also reflects on the role of genuine self-expression in relationships, inviting listeners to see how asking better questions might open the door to a more fulfilling life.Listen and Learn: Why certain uncertainties unsettle us most, and how our brains and biology shape our struggle to live with the unknownElizabeth’s powerful "question tree" metaphor that categorizes the types of questions we ask in life, from quick-answer "peach" questions to lifelong "heartwood" questions, and how letting go of "dead leaf" questions helps us growHow our search for quick answers can keep us stuck in uncertainty—and why learning to sit with unanswerable questions and ask better ones is key to real growth and self-understandingEmbracing open-ended questions instead of binary ones for deeper self-understanding, growth, and freedom from the need for controlWhat it truly means to “live” and “love” life’s big questions, moving beyond the shallow advice to “embrace uncertainty” and instead learning how our questions can guide growth, clarity, and connection to our future selvesRecognizing and refining the right questions in your life, ones that lead you back to your values, open new possibilities, and move you forward instead of getting stuck in fear, “shoulds,” or ruminationListen to POTC ad-free for just $5 a month by becoming a Mega Supporter on Patreon! Or, support the podcast with a one-time donation at Buy Me A Coffee!Resources: Elizabeth’s Book, How to Fall in Love with Questions: A New Way to Thrive in Times of Uncertainty: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780063335134Elizabeth’s Website: www.elizabethweingarten.comElizabeth’s Substack: Time Travel for BeginnersYael’s Article: How Practical Wisdom Helps Us Cope with Radical Uncertainty (By Yael Schonbrun and Barry Schwartz)About Elizabeth WeingartenElizabeth Weingarten is a journalist and applied behavioral scientist who works at the intersection of science and storytelling. She has been part of the editorial staffs of The Atlantic, Slate, and Qatar Today, and also served as managing editor of Behavioral Scientist. Her writing has appeared in outlets including The Atlantic, Slate, CNN, Financial Times, Harvard Business Review, and TIME. Beyond journalism, she has led research programs at the think tank New America, the consultancy ideas42, and the tech companies Torch and Udemy. Elizabeth lives in Northern California with her husband and son. You can learn more about her work at www.elizabethweingarten.com.Related Episodes:188. Unwinding Anxiety with Judson Brewer349. The Hunger Habit with Judson Brewer329. The Power of Curiosity with Scott Shigeoka422. Mindwise with Nicholas Epley303. Both/And Thinking with Marianne LewisSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you’re a parent navigating the ups and downs of your child’s food allergies, you know firsthand how anxiety can sneak in, whether it’s worrying about safety at school, birthday parties, or just trying to give your child some independence. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Tamara Hubbard joins Emily to talk about her new book, May Contain Anxiety: Managing the Overwhelm of Parenting Children with Food Allergies.Their conversation doesn’t just stop at allergies, though; they dive into the bigger picture of parenting with anxiety and uncertainty and explore how anxiety, while a completely normal human experience, can sometimes take over if we don’t keep it in check. Tune in with us for practical strategies to help parents move away from over-controlling tendencies and toward building skills and confidence in their kids.Listen and Learn: Understanding the medical and emotional side of food allergies from what actually happens in the body, why they create such high anxiety for parents, and how uncertainty around reactions fuels guilt and fearBalancing fear with perspective and the difference between everyday vigilance and anxiety that takes overThe “certainty trap” many allergy parents fall into, why control seeking feels protective but actually creates burnout, conflict, and limits a child’s growth, and how shifting from control to skill building can better support both parents and kidsThe “over-avoidance trap” food allergy parents can fall into, how anxiety can push families to restrict more than is medically necessary, and why finding a realistic, personalized sense of “safe enough” (with support from an allergist) is key to breaking free from constant fearPractical strategies for allergy parents to balance safety with living fully by shifting from fear-driven "what if" thinking to action-focused "if then" plansThe “Goldilocks principle” for food allergy parenting and finding the just right balance of caution and calm that keeps kids safe without overwhelming anxietyHow parents can start building confidence and safety skills in young children with food allergies (or other health conditions) from an early age, setting the foundation for independence and calm navigation as they growWhy the middle childhood years can help kids build self-advocacy and take ownership of their allergy care, so they are ready for adolescenceHow parents balance safety with flexibility can shape teens’ confidence and independence in managing food allergies while keeping anxiety in checkResources: Tamara’s Book, May Contain Anxiety: Managing the Overwhelm of Parenting Children with Food Allergies: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781421449579 Tamara’s Websites: https://www.foodallergycounselor.com/ and https://www.tamarahubbardlcpc.com/ Connect with Tamara on Socials: @FoodAllergyCounselor and @TherapistTamara.About Tamara HubbardWith more than 20 years of experience and a marriage and family therapy degree, Tamara Hubbard, MA, LCPC is a licensed clinical professional counselor helping women and parents of children with food allergies find their “just right” balance between feeling overwhelmed and living fully. Tamara created The Food Allergy Counselor in 2018 to fill a much needed resource gap by offering evidence-based food allergy anxiety management, mindset, and parenting content. She also founded the Academy of Food Allergy Counseling and its Food Allergy Counseling Directory, and currently serves as its Chief Advisor. An active allied health member of professional allergy and immunology organizations, Tamara is a national speaker and holds advisory roles within the allergy community. Finally, her first book, May Contain Anxiety: Managing the Overwhelm of Parenting Children with Food Allergies with Johns Hopkins University Press comes out September 30th, 2025. Related Episodes:424. Modern Anxiety with Noelle McWard Aquino319. Autonomy-Supportive Parenting with the AMAZING Emily Edlynn266. Future Tense with Tracy Dennis-Tiwary260. Health Anxiety with Karen Lynn Cassiday253. Free Range Kids with Lenore Skenazy222. Living With Food Allergies with Tamara Hubbard94. Parenthood in the Age of Fear with Kim BrooksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

College life can be exciting, but it’s also full of unique challenges that can really take a toll on mental health. In this episode, Debbie sits down with Colleen Ehrnstrom, Audrey Gilfillan, and Alison West to break down what’s really going on with students’ mental well-being. They talk about the ups and downs of transitions, gaining independence, and handling academic pressure, all while navigating bigger societal stressors like the pandemic. The conversation highlights why it’s so important to have mental health support built right into academic departments, and the guests share practical tips that both students and faculty can use. You’ll also hear about topics like college culture expectations, the Dunning-Kruger effect, imposter feelings, and why showing yourself self-compassion and understanding your emotions matters. By the end, you’ll come away with insights that can help anyone in a college community foster better mental health and overall well-being.Listen and Learn: Why college is such a challenging transition for students, who must create structure, discover their values, and learn through mistakes while adapting to new freedoms and pressuresUnderstanding individual stress matters in college counseling, which can help normalize challenges and guide appropriate mental health supportHow young adulthood is a powerful time for growthEmbracing uncertainty and connecting through shared human experiences helps us navigate overwhelming and unpredictable timesEmbedding mental health clinicians directly in university departments helps faculty support students effectively, bridging academic and emotional needsUnderstanding and “decompiling” your thoughts and emotions helps you work with them instead of against themWhy the imposter phenomenon is widespread, especially among high achievers and those stepping outside their comfort zone, and how comparing your inner doubts to others’ outward confidence can intensify itTrue growth comes from building competence, not chasing confidence, and feeling uncomfortable is part of the learning processTips for navigating college, including managing your expectations, giving yourself grace for mistakes, seeking support when needed, and starting small with healthy habitsResources: Decompile Your Mind: An Engineer’s Guide to Thoughts and Emotions: https://www.amazon.com/Decompile-Your-Mind-Engineers-Thoughts/dp/B0DPXB17MV  Connect with Colleen Ehrnstrom, Audrey Gilfillan, and Alison Westhttps://www.colorado.edu/counseling/about-caps/our-providers/colleen-ehrnstrom https://www.colorado.edu/counseling/about-caps/our-providers/audrey-gilfillanhttps://www.colorado.edu/counseling/about-caps/our-providers/alison-westImposter No More: Overcome Self-Doubt and Imposterism to Cultivate a Successful Career: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781538724804 About Dr. Colleen EhrnstromDr. Colleen Ehrnstrom, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist and one of the managers of the Embedded Program at the Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS) at the University of Colorado Boulder. She specializes in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and enjoys working with college students, supporting their mental health during a critical time of personal and academic development. She is the co-author of End the Insomnia Struggle: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Get to Sleep and Stay Asleep and regularly presents and trains on ACT and behavioral sleep strategies. Dr. Ehrnstrom is dedicated to supporting mental health through evidence-based, mindfulness-informed care.About Audrey GilfillanAudrey Gilfillan is a licensed professional counselor and works as an Embedded Therapist in the College of Engineering and Applied Science at the University of Colorado at Boulder. With a background in academic coaching, career counseling, and college mental health, Audrey specializes supporting college students as they navigate the intersection of their academic goals and mental health. Audrey co-authored Decompile Your Mind: An Engineer’s Guide to Thoughts and Emotions. She co-founded Applied Wellness Initiatives to help educators and managers effectively support mental health and performance in the workplace.About Alison WestAlison West is a licensed professional counselor and addiction specialist who works as an Embedded Therapist in the College of Engineering and Applied Science at CU Boulder. Prior to working in higher education, Alison worked in community mental health, providing direct support through ongoing therapy, crisis response, and case management. Alison is passionate about supporting young adults as they navigate the challenges of an ever-changing world. She is the co-author of Decompile Your Mind: An Engineer’s Guide to Thoughts and Emotions and the co-founder of Applied Wellness Initiatives. She finds fulfillment in helping professionals bring mental health awareness and practices into their work and academic communities.Related Episodes: 7. Insomnia: Strategies to Stop Struggling with Sleep with Alisha Brosse189. Imposter Syndrome with Jill and Debbie321. Imposter No More with Jill Stoddard274. Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood with Satya Doyle Byock – Psychologists Off the Clock324. Toxic Achievement Culture with Jennifer Wallace  303. Both/And Thinking with Marianne LewisSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can you truly change your personality in ways that make your life feel fuller and more in line with who you want to be? In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Jill sits down with Olga Khazan, author of Me But Better, to explore that question in a way that feels relatable and inspiring. Olga shares her journey of becoming more outgoing and less anxious, mixing scientific insights with honest reflections on the challenges she faced, showing that real change is possible and something you can actively pursue.They also explore the Big Five personality traits and how intentional shifts in your personality can boost your happiness and overall well-being. Olga offers practical strategies you can start using right away and reminds you that the goal is not to impress anyone else but to create a version of yourself that feels healthier, more authentic, and more satisfying to live with every day.Listen and Learn: How personality, once thought to be fixed, can actually change over time How personality is shaped by both genetics and environmentThe Big Five personality model—what each trait means, how factors like conscientiousness overlap with neurodivergence such as ADHD, cultural caveats to the model, and how personality can shift over time through intentional habits and mindsetHow practicing new behaviors, like being more extroverted, can expand your authentic self rather than diminish itWhy stepping outside of your comfort zone, even if it feels “inauthentic” at first, is actually part of growth, showing how personality is fluidHow mindfulness, meditation, and acceptance practices can reduce anxiety and neuroticismThe Personality Assessor Test and why results can sometimes surprise us, and how to embrace both strengths and limitations while exploring change or acceptance through openness, flexibility, and valuesResources:Olga’s Book, Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781668012543 Olga’s Website: Olgakhazan.com;  https://olgakhazan.com/Connect with Olga on Social Media: Instagram: @olganator, https://www.instagram.com/olganator/X: https://x.com/olgakhazanOlga’s Substack: https://olgakhazan.substack.com/Find More of Olga’s Writing at https://www.theatlantic.com/ Free Personality Test: https://www.personalityassessor.com/ About Olga KhazanOlga Khazan is a staff writer for The Atlantic and the author of Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World and ME, BUT BETTER: The Science and Promise of Personality Change. She has also written for The New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, Vox, and other publications. She is a two-time recipient of the International Reporting Project’s Journalism Fellowship and winner of the 2017 National Headliner Award for Magazine Online Writing. She lives with her husband and son in Northern Virginia.Related Episodes:77. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Jill Stoddard102. A Liberated Mind with Steven Hayes112. Nature vs. Nurture: Why Temperament Matters with Debbie and Yael343. Heartbreak with Florence Williams347. Job Changes & Career Pivots with Paula Brand363. Worrying Is Optional with Ben Eckstein385. Oliver Burkeman on Embracing Your LimitationsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Anxiety often feels overwhelming, but at its core, it’s your mind and body working hard to protect you.In this episode, therapist and author of Anxiety Unpacked, Noelle McWard Aquino, unpacks the complex nature of modern anxiety, from the body’s nervous system responses to the thought patterns that fuel it.Noelle introduces her framework of three root causes: catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs, and explains how these show up in daily life. You’ll learn how to tell the difference between anxiety and intuition, and why getting more comfortable with uncertainty can help you build real resilience.You’ll also pick up practical tools like breathwork, reframing distorted beliefs, and focusing on your values so you can navigate anxiety with more clarity and confidence.Listen and Learn: A fresh, accessible perspective on anxiety that goes beyond diagnoses, showing how it’s a universal human experience with practical tools to help anyone navigate itWhy anxiety is not a personal failing but an understandable response to today’s constant threats, information overload, and technology-driven pressuresHow to reframe anxiety, not as a flaw to eliminate but as a signal to honor, by creating space for it, discerning facts from “what if” stories, and guiding it toward purposeful action rooted in values, capacity, and connectionThe five universal truths of anxietyHow to tell the difference between anxiety’s fear-driven, questioning voice and intuition’s calm, steady, and certain inner knowingThe three root causes of anxiety: catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs, and how understanding these patterns helps address anxiety at its root for lasting changeResources: Noelle’s book, Anxiety Unpacked: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781960876898 Noelle’s Website: https://noellemcwardaquino.com/ Noelle’s Psychology Today article: When Anxiety Makes Sense: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/unpacking-anxiety/202506/when-anxiety-makes-sense  Connect with Noelle on Social Media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/noelle-mcward-192473b https://www.instagram.com/noellemcwardaquino/ About Noelle McWard AquinoNoelle McWard Aquino is a Chicago-based therapist who specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders. She is the author of Anxiety Unpacked: Discover Your Type and Recover Your Peace, a bestselling book that helps readers identify and work with the specific patterns driving their anxiety. Her work has been featured in publications including Psychology Today and Psychotherapy Networker. Noelle speaks regularly to both clinical and general audiences, training therapists in her framework for understanding anxiety and helping individuals develop more effective, compassionate responses to it.  Related Episodes:334. Our Polyvagal World with Stephen & Seth Porges313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brain Thompson250. Anxiety and Perfectionism with Clarissa Ong177. Mind-Body Practices for Stress and Ovewrhelm with Rebekkah LaDyne188. Unwinding Anxiety with Judson BrewerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do some groups spark energy and creativity while others feel draining and tense? Taking on this topic, we sit down with Colin Fisher, the author of The Collective Edge: Unlocking the Secret Power of Groups. We dig into what really sets groups apart from one-on-one partnerships, how social norms and psychological safety shape the way groups function, and why synergy can feel so unpredictable yet incredibly powerful.Colin shares stories and research from his book, busting some common myths about group dynamics, the risks of trying to “sort” people into roles, and how relaunching a team can reset unhealthy patterns. From jazz improvisation to Nobel Prize-winning teams, this conversation is packed with insights and practical takeaways for anyone who wants to get the most out of working and living with others.Listen and Learn: What makes a group different from a one-on-one relationship, and why does that difference matter?Why relying on “sorting hat” thinking like personality tests or rigid categories can limit group success and fuel unhelpful divisionsWhy we often overlook the power of groupsCan you spot the invisible norms shaping your group before they push you toward extreme or unhealthy behaviors?How can bringing in new perspectives or encouraging psychological safety keep your group balanced and open-minded?What is psychological safety?How can groups achieve that magical sense of synergy?Creating high-performing teamsRelaunching groups to reset unhealthy patterns and improve team dynamicsResources:Colin’s Book: The Collective Edge: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593715345 Colins Website: https://colinmfisher.com/ Colin’s Substack: https://colinmfisher.substack.com/Connect with Colin on Social Media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/colinmfisher?originalSubdomain=ukhttps://www.instagram.com/trumpetfisher/ Undoing Project by Michael Lewis: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780393354775 Work, Parent, Thrive by Yael Schonbrun: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781611809657  Social Intelligence Test: https://socialintelligence.labinthewild.org/mite/About Colin FisherSince his days as a professional jazz trumpet player, Colin Fisher has been fascinated by group dynamics. As Associate Professor of Organizations and Innovation at University College London's School of Management, Colin’s research has uncovered the hidden processes of helping groups and teams in situations requiring creativity, improvisation, and complex decision-making. He has written about group dynamics for media outlets including BBC, Forbes, Harvard Business Review, NPR, and The Times. Related Episodes215. How to Change with Katy Milkman234. The Power of Us with Dominic PackerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Think about the times you’ve assumed someone’s behavior revealed exactly what they were thinking. Nicholas Epley, our guest for this episode, explains this as correspondence bias and, through his book Mindwise, teaches us about the concept of correspondence bias and explains how we often believe that a person's actions correspond directly to their mental state. You’ll hear about his research into social cognition and how it reveals that while humans are generally adept at reading others, we frequently overestimate our accuracy. The episode also covers practical experiments on how engaging with strangers can significantly boost our happiness, despite our fears and misconceptions, and the importance of curiosity in overcoming social anxieties and making positive first impressions. Listen and Learn: How our unique “sixth sense” of mind reading, our ability to understand, predict, and connect with others’ invisible thoughts, shapes human connection and survivalWhy our ability to read other people’s minds is far less accurate than we think, and what makes understanding others such a difficult challengeWhy we often overestimate how well we understand those closest to us, and how even long-term partners are not as accurate at reading each other’s thoughts and feelings as they believeWhat drives our brains to form first impressions in an instant, how overconfidence shapes the way we read others, and why moment-to-moment cues like facial expressions play a bigger role in social interactions than we often realize?How can you make a great first impression without overthinking body language or tricks, simply by staying curious and genuinely interested in the person you’re talking to?How correspondence bias makes us assume people’s actions reflect their true thoughts and feelings, why this can lead to misjudgments, and how showing confidence, curiosity, or kindness can positively influence how others respond to youCan striking up a conversation with a stranger boost happiness more than staying to yourself, even though we usually expect the interaction to go badly?Resources: Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780307743565 Nicholas’ website: https://www.nicholasepley.com/About Nicholas EpleyNicholas Epley is the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavior Science and Director of the Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He studies social cognition—how thinking people think about other thinking people—to understand why smart people so routinely misunderstand each other. He teaches an ethics and well-being course to MBA students called Designing a Good Life. His research has been featured by the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, CNN, Wired, and National Public Radio, among many others, and has been funded by the National Science Foundation and the Templeton Foundation. He has been awarded the 2008 Theoretical Innovation Award from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, the 2011 Distinguished Scientific Award for Early Career Contribution to Psychology from the American Psychological Association, the 2015 Book Prize for the Promotion of Social and Personality Science, and the 2018 Career Trajectory Award from the Society for Experimental Social Psychology. Epley was named a "professor to watch" by the Financial Times, one of the "World's Best 40 under 40 Business School Professors" by Poets and Quants, and one of the 100 Most Influential in Business Ethics by Ethisphere. He is the author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want, and of a forthcoming book to be published in the fall of 2026 tentatively titled, Dare to connectRelated Episodes413. Validate with Caroline Fleck393. Supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg374. Developing and Deepening Connections with Adam Dorsay360. The Laws of Connection with David Robson329. The Power of Curiosity with Scott ShigeokaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sometimes saying “yes” too much can really take a toll on you. In this episode, Jill chats with Dr. Sunita Sah, a bestselling author and Cornell professor, about her book Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes. They break down how constant compliance can affect your emotions, mind, and body, and share strategies for recognizing when it’s time to push back. Sunita introduces the concept of a ‘Defiance Compass’ to help guide people in acting according to their values. You’ll also learn about the difference between going along with something and truly giving consent, how anxiety can arise in difficult situations, and why practicing small acts of defiance can prepare you for bigger, high-stakes moments. Listen and Learn: How can redefining "defiance" from a negative act of resistance to an alignment with true values help us better understand the balance between compliance, consent, and social pressure?Why is defiance better understood as a staged process on a continuum rather than a simple yes/no choice, and how does recognizing tension help us navigate compliance?Distinguishing between true expert intuition and bias-driven gut feelings when making decisions in uncertain situationsWhy is it so difficult for people to resist compliance and obedience in high-pressure situations, and how can practicing defiance help us prepare to say no and prevent harm?How can we recognize the difference between true consent and mere compliance, and what essential elements are needed to ensure a genuine "yes"?Navigating situations where we technically have the freedom to say no, but psychological pressures like insinuation anxiety or fear of consequences make it difficult to speak upHow do insinuation anxiety and the sales pitch effect interact to increase pressure to comply, even when consent is technically present?Overcoming the tension and fear of non-compliance to act in alignment with our values using tools like the Defiance CompassHow you can practice defiance as a skillResources:Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593445778Sunita’s Website: https://www.sunitasah.com/Connect with Sunita on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/drsunitasahhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drsunitasah/https://www.tiktok.com/@drsunitasah About Sunita SahDr. Sunita Sah is a national bestselling author, an award-winning professor at Cornell University, and an expert in organizational psychology. She leads groundbreaking research on influence, authority, compliance, and defiance. A trained physician, Dr. Sah practiced medicine in the United Kingdom and worked as a management consultant for the pharmaceutical industry. She currently teaches executives, leaders, and students in healthcare and business.Dr. Sah is also a sought-after international speaker and consultant, an advisor to government agencies, and a former Commissioner of the National Commission on Forensic Science. Her multidisciplinary research and analyses have been widely published in leading academic journals and media outlets, including The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Harvard Business Review, and Scientific American. She lives with her husband and son in New York.Related Episodes:211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson305. The Power of Saying No with Vanessa Patrick311. Nobody’s Fool with Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris394. Sunlight is the Best Disinfectant with Andrea Dunlop and Mike Weber399. Likable Badass with Alison FragaleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Parenting often means walking a fine line between setting boundaries and showing warmth, all while managing your own feelings in the process. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Emily chats with Dr. Alissa Jerud about her book Emotion-Savvy Parenting and how recognizing and working with both your emotions and your child’s can build stronger connections and a calmer home life.Dr. Jerud shares her approach, Emotion Savvy Parenting, which draws from evidence-based methods such as exposure-based treatments and dialectical behavior therapy skills. She breaks down what makes up our emotional experiences, offers tools like the CARE skills for navigating intense situations, and explores topics such as the limits of gentle parenting, why mid-meltdown logic usually falls flat, and how differing parenting styles between caregivers can create challenges.Listen and Learn: How can parents respond skillfully and effectively to their children while managing their own strong and uncomfortable emotions?Combining respectful parenting and evidence-based therapies to help parents manage their own emotions, maintain firm limits, and model emotional regulation for their childrenThe ways parents navigate the gray areas and overlaps between gentle parenting and autonomy-supportive parenting while avoiding the black-and-white thinking often seen on social mediaParents often step in to fix their child’s struggles, but noticing and accepting their emotions and behaviors as they are can help children build resilience and support more effective parentingThe primary and secondary ingredients of emotions, their triggers, how thoughts shape them, and how they show up physically and behaviorally, help parents regulate their own emotions by targeting these different aspects of feelingsQuick, practical ways to manage intense emotions by regulating the body’s physiological responseWhy rigid beliefs that children must always obey can create frustration and disconnect, while accepting their emotions and allowing authentic expression supports both kids’ and parents’ emotional well-beingThe importance of accepting and validating a child’s emotions during emotional storms rather than trying to immediately fix or suppress themRecognizing that each child’s emotional needs are unique, and effective parenting often means staying present and supportive without trying to immediately fix or validate the emotionResources: Alissa’s Website: https://www.alissajerud.com/ Emotion-Savvy Parenting: A Shame-Free Guide to Navigating Emotional Storms and Deepening Connection: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781032544946 Connect with Alissa on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/emotionsavvydoc/?hl=enhttps://www.facebook.com/emotionsavvydoc/https://www.linkedin.com/in/alissa-jerud-210764174 Emily’s Articles:What’s Wrong with Gentle Parenting? Psychology TodayThe Truth About Parents Who Yell at Their Kids, Psychology TodayAbout Alissa JerudAlissa Jerud, Ph.D. is a mom of two kids, a licensed clinical psychologist, a Clinical Assistant Professor at the University of Pennsylvania, and author of Emotion-Savvy Parenting: A Shame-Free Guide to Navigating Emotional Storms and Deepening Connection. She has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Washington and completed her postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety. In her private practice, Dr. Jerud specializes in exposure-based treatments for anxiety-related disorders, including obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, specific phobias, and generalized anxiety disorder. Additionally, she specializes in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills training and particularly enjoys helping other parents learn research-backed strategies for accepting, regulating, and tolerating their emotions, as well as their children's. Dr. Jerud also trains other clinicians in exposure-based treatments and frequently gives workshops on anxiety, stress, mental health, parenting, and social support to companies large and small.Related Episodes386. Parents Are Stressed: What Do We Do About It? 373. How to Stop Freaking Out with Carla Naumburg344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber241. Emotion Coaching Skills for Families with Mindy Solomon240. Talking to Kids and Teens About Big Feelings with Adele LaFrance149. How to Not Lose It with Your Kids with Carla Naumburg14. Mindful Parenting9. Children’s Emotions: Understanding and Responding to Your Child’s EmotionsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you’re stuck in an unhealthy relationship and wondering whether it’s right for you or you’re recently facing the pain and confusion of a breakup, we invite you to tune into this episode with John Kim, also known as the Angry Therapist, to explore his viewpoint on relationship endings. John lays out how breakups or ‘relationship expirations’ as he coins them, can serve as powerful catalysts to kickstart your own personal growth, and highlights the importance of self-reflection, healthy boundaries, and meaningful connection with yourself and others. Speaking from his own experiences, as well as insights and stories from his latest book, Breakup on Purpose, you’ll hear why John sees breakups as not just painful endings but meaningful rites of passage that can offer space to learn and evolve. Listen and Learn:Breakups, while painful, can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth when approached with reflection and ownershipShifting how we view breakups from failures to “expired relationships” helps us embrace healing and rewrite the narrative around endingsHow to balance knowing when to work through relationship challenges versus when it’s healthy to walk awayWhy breakups are a natural rite of passage and essential for personal growthWhy humility and self-reflection are essential but often difficult steps toward personal growthHealing from a breakup involves embracing the pain with compassion, finding purpose beyond the relationship, and transforming personal loss into growth and a greater meaningful journeyHow society places too much importance on romantic love as the sole source of meaning and fulfillment and elying on one romantic partner to fulfill all needs is unrealistic and sets people up for disappointmentBreakups have distinctive types that require different responses and healing strategiesHow to balance self-comfort with avoiding behaviors that hinder healing after a breakup by setting personal limits and gradually re-engaging with lifeThe importance of meaningful connection, whether through community, close relationships, or personal passions, as a vital part of recovery, especially for introvertsThe cycle of rupture and repair in relationships is essential, teaching us how to build deeper connection, resilience, and emotional safetyResources:John’s Website: https://www.theangrytherapist.com/John’s Books: Break Up On Purpose: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780063275331 Single On Purpose: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780062980731 Connect with John on Socials: https://www.facebook.com/john.kim.1650/https://www.linkedin.com/in/theangrytherapisthttps://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/Power of Discord by Ed Tronick and Claudia Gold: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780316488877 Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780807060100 About John KimJohn Kim, widely known as 'The Angry Therapist.' John is a licensed therapist, engaging speaker, fellow podcaster, and best-selling author whose works include 'It's Not Me, It's You,' 'Single. On Purpose,' and 'I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck.' What makes John's approach unique is how he shares therapeutic wisdom through his blog and Instagram, using authenticity and transparency to connect with and support people on their personal journeys.Related Episodes:117. Bearing Unbearable Loss: A Conversation about Grief with Joanne Cacciatore126. Surviving Break-Ups and Divorce: How to Mend a Broken Heart, with Debbie and Yael186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab249. How to be Single and Happy with Jenny Taitz343. Heartbreak with Florence WilliamsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Could the stories you tell yourself be shaping how you see yourself? Sometimes those stories build us up, but other times, they are just quietly tearing us down. In this episode, Michael talks with Dr. Phil Lane, a licensed clinical social worker and the author of The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem, about how we can start to shift those inner stories in a healthier direction.Phil shares what led him to narrative therapy and why storytelling can be an incredibly powerful tool for healing. He talks about how many of us carry around dominant narratives, which are beliefs about ourselves that sometimes we may not even realize we’ve absorbed. And explains how you can learn to question and rewrite those beliefs, helping us reconnect with who we really are.You'll also benefit from the core techniques behind narrative therapy, like scaffolding and deconstruction, and explore what it’s like to share your personal story in different settings.Listen and Learn: How the power of storytelling in a safe space can transform self-perception and healingChanging the story you've been telling yourself and beginning to see who you truly are, more fully and clearlyUncovering hidden parts of your life story beyond the dominant narrative you've acceptedHow inherited beliefs shape your story and how to consciously rewrite it for yourselfIdentifying faulty beliefs and clarifying your values helps rewrite your personal story for self-acceptanceUnderstanding your past to shape your present story empowers your daily life choicesHow to rebuild your personal story by carefully scaffolding and deconstructing it for true self-accuracyEmbracing curiosity to uncover and challenge the beliefs you’ve always seen as trueHow acceptance and reframing your story can empower you to embrace life's challenges and thriveViewing your life story as multi-genre can bring richer healing and balanceHow narrative therapy reveals deeper meaning beyond surface explanationsWhen and how to share your sacred story meaningfully beyond small talk and surface talkResources: The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem: Rewrite Your Story, Overcome Imposter Syndrome and Feelings of Inadequacy, and Build Lasting Confidence: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781648485312Phil’s Website: https://www.phil-lane.com/You 2.0: Change Your Story, Change Your Life: https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/healing-2-0-change-your-story-change-your-life/Connect with Phil on Social Media:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087891174326https://instagram.com/therapist_phil About Phil LanePhil Lane is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, psychotherapist in private practice and author of the books Understanding and Coping with Illness Anxiety, The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem and Overcoming Panic and Panic Attacks. Phil practices and writes from a humanistic point of view with a goal of normalizing and de-stigmatizing commonly experienced problems and challenges. Phil and his family live in the central part of New Jersey where he enjoys gardening, reading, writing, watching baseball, and model railroading. Phil can be found on Instagram at @therapist_phil and online at phil-lane.com. You can also find his author pages on Amazon and Goodreads. Related Episodes239. Edit Your Story, Change Your Life with Lori GottliebSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk has become a go-to book for understanding trauma, but not everyone agrees with its approach. In this episode, journalist and author of Acceptance: A Memoir, Emi Nietfeld joins us to talk about The Body Keeps the Score and how it influenced the world of trauma therapy. Bringing both her personal experience and sharp insight to the table, she enlightens us on trauma treatment and why popular narratives around resilience and recovery often miss the mark, especially when they lean more on storytelling than science.We get into where the book falls short, especially around science and why proven methods like CBT and prolonged exposure therapy deserve more attention. Emi also opens up about how those treatments personally changed her life.It’s an honest look at trauma, what really works, and how we can do better, both personally and as a society.Listen and Learn:Why true resilience isn't about toughness alone but about community, care, and real support systemsHow the mental health system often fails kids by ignoring family dysfunction and why real change starts with seeing the full context, not just labeling the childWhy positive thinking isn't enough for trauma recovery and how validating, supportive therapy makes all the difference when you're ready to speak your truthAvoiding trauma memories in therapy can cause more harm and what effective healing requiresHow popular trauma books like “The Body Keeps the Score” can fuel shameChallenging the "addicted to trauma" label and how oversimplified narratives can stigmatize survivors and ignore systemic causes of violenceHow trauma research can be misrepresented, especially about cognitive behavioral therapy’s real effectivenessUsing structured prolonged exposure therapy to help you safely face trauma and build resilienceWriting a memoir can unearth painful truths, but honest storytelling sparks real healing and self-acceptanceWhy popular trauma books feel like belief systems—and why we need solutions beyond therapyResources: Emi’s Book Acceptance: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593489499 Emi’s website https://www.eminietfeld.com/ and her Substack https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ Connect with Emi on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/emi-nietfeld/ and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/eminietfeld/ Mother Jones article: https://www.motherjones.com/media/2024/12/trauma-body-keeps-the-score-van-der-kolk-psychology-therapy-ptsd/ Slate article: https://slate.com/technology/2024/08/sexual-assault-treatment-talk-therapy-prolonged-exposure-recovery.htmlArticle mentioned on trauma theory as a belief system: https://beiner.substack.com/p/the-truth-about-trauma-bessel-vanAbout Emi NietfieldEmi Nietfeld is an author, journalist, and speaker. She is the author of Acceptance (Penguin Press ‘22), a memoir of her journey through foster care and homelessness, interrogating the true meanings of resilience, ambition, and success. After graduating from Harvard in 2015, she worked as a software engineer, an experience she wrote about in her viral New York Times essay, “After Working At Google, I’ll Never Let Myself Love a Job Again.”She’s passionate about mental health, helping young people navigate their careers, and the connection between engineering and creativity. A dynamic, sought-after speaker, she can be found on podcasts, leading conference keynotes, and speaking at universities and companies alike.Her essays have appeared in The New York Times, New York Magazine, The Atlantic,  and other publications, been nominated for the Pushcart Prize, noted in The Best American Essays, and taught in classrooms from high schools to MFA programs.Related Episodes: 416. Trauma and PTSD Treatment with Robyn Walser383. What My Bones Know: C-PTSD with Stephanie Foo279. ACT for Healing Black Racial Trauma with Jennifer Shepard Payne 313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brian Thompson355. What is EMDR with Jamie Marich 77. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Jill Stoddard    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trauma and PTSD leave a lasting imprint on how we see ourselves and navigate the world, which is why Debbie sits down with returning guest Dr. Robyn Walser for this episode, a clinical psychologist and expert in evidence-based treatment for PTSD, to explore the path to trauma recovery. Robyn unpacks the principles of exposure therapy, the importance of processing traumatic experiences, and insights from her new book, which she co-authored with Darrah Westrup, You Are Not Your Trauma. This conversation offers a deep understanding of PTSD, the wide-ranging effects of trauma, and how healing involves redefining one’s relationship to past events rather than being retraumatized by them. Listen and Learn:Breaking free from trauma’s grip and reconnecting with the deeper, fuller self beyond itWhy understanding the true meaning of trauma matters and how misusing the word can impact healingUnderstanding how trauma, whether single events or complex, can cause avoidance, disrupt life, and impact relationshipsHow trauma’s fear cycle traps you and how changing your relationship to thoughts frees you to live againReclaiming your life by embracing fear and living your values fully through trauma recovery in ACTEmbracing the natural flow of trauma memories helps you process and regain freedomUsing written exposure therapy helps you safely process trauma by revisiting and writing about itHow structured, flexible exposure therapy in Robyn and Darrah’s new book, You Are Not Your Trauma, helps you process trauma and build lasting resilienceResources: Coming Soon—You Are Not Your Trauma: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide for Healing from Within by Robyn Walser and Darrah Westrup: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781462557899Robyn’s Website: https://robynwalser.com/Connect with Robyn on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/walser.robyn/https://www.facebook.com/theheartofacthttps://www.linkedin.com/in/robynwalser About Robyn D. WalserRobyn D. Walser, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized clinical psychologist, educator, and author. She is the Director of Trauma and Life Consultation and Psychology Services, Assistant Professor at the University of California, Berkeley, and Director of Research at Bay Area Trauma Recovery Clinical Services. Dr. Walser has contributed significantly to the dissemination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and holds a pivotal role in implementing ACT in one of the US's largest national healthcare systems. She also works at the National Center for PTSD, where her work focus is on trauma recovery, depression, and moral injury. A writer and scholar, Dr. Walser has co-authored nine influential books on ACT, including the widely respected The Heart of ACT: Developing a Flexible, Process-Based, and Client-Centered Practice Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Her research and clinical expertise have made her a sought-after voice in advancing the application of ACT to address a variety of complex psychological challenges. Since 1997, Dr. Walser has led ACT workshops worldwide, bringing her passion for process-based, experiential learning to therapists and clinicians. Known for her compassionate and client-centered approach, Dr. Walser’s teaching emphasizes the integration of evidence-based practices with human connection and flexibility. Whether through her books, articles, or live training, Dr. Walser continues to influence the evolution of ACT and inspire professionals in their pursuit of effective, transformative therapy. To learn more about her work, visit robynwalser.com.Book: You Are Not Your Trauma: An ACT Guide for Healing from Within by Robyn D. Walser and Darrah WestrupRelated Episodes: 383. What My Bones Know: C-PTSD with Stephanie Foo279. ACT for Healing Black Racial Trauma with Jennifer Shepard Payne 313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brian Thompson355. What is EMDR with Jamie Marich 77. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Jill Stoddard   320. Anger and Forgiveness with Robyn Walser 106. Therapy from “The Heart of ACT” with Robyn Walser98. Narcissism with Avigail Lev and Robyn Walser  49. Empowering Women with Robyn Walser345. Writing for Personal Growth with Maureen Murdock See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you've been feeling like alcohol just doesn’t fit your life anymore, this conversation with Casey Davidson, a Life and Sobriety Coach, might really speak to you.  Casey opens up about her personal journey of becoming alcohol-free, talks you through the benefits and challenges of sobriety, and clears up some common myths along the way.You’ll come away with takeaways about the impact alcohol can have on your mental and physical health, how social norms and marketing can negatively influence drinking habits, and why approaching sobriety with curiosity and self-compassion can make all the difference in your journey. We hope the personal stories combined with practical insights in this episode will be an inspiring and relatable resource for anyone exploring a more mindful relationship with alcohol.Listen and Learn: How Casey broke free from nightly wine, ditched mommy wine culture, and found freedomHow high-functioning people can unknowingly rely on alcohol, and what waking up at 3 AM really meansAlcohol disrupts joy, sleep, and mood. See what changes when you give it up for just 30 daysNavigating sobriety without hitting rock bottom, plus mindset shifts, social fears, and partner dynamicsWhy the term "alcoholic" can be misleading, and how redefining sobriety empowers choiceHow non-alcoholic drinks can fit joyful routines without the triggersThe lasting benefits of 30, 60, and 100 days sober, like better sleep, mood, and self-careWhy trying to moderate drinking often traps you in a craving cycle, and quitting frees your mind and sparks new creativityResources: Casey’s website: Hello Someday Coaching - https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/The Hello Someday Podcast For Sober Curious Women - https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/podcast/ Good Morning America asked Casey how I saved $48,000 by not drinking alcohol!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyrfQMv5waU&authuser=0Connect with Casey on Social Media:https://www.linkedin.com/in/caseydavidson/https://www.instagram.com/caseymdavidson/https://facebook.com/hellosomedayAbout Casey McGuire Davidson: Casey McGuire Davidson is a Life & Sobriety Coach and the host of the Top 100 Mental Health Podcast, The Hello Someday Podcast for Sober Curious Women. As an ex-red wine girl who spent 20 years climbing the corporate ladder while holding on tightly to her love of wine, Casey’s passionate about helping busy women stop drinking and create lives they love without alcohol. Her work has been featured on Good Morning America, NPR, HuffPost, The New York Times and NBC News.Related Episodes176. Fair Play with Eve Rodsky202. The Addiction Inoculation with Jess Lahey206. Fair Play Part 2 with Eve Rodsky233. Dopamine Nation with Anna Lembke247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky286. Not Drinking Tonight with Amanda White316. Understanding Addiction with Judith Grisel402. Harm Reduction for Addiction with Kristin DempseySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do so many kids seem unmotivated at school, and what can we do about it? In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, we’re taking a look at what’s really going on with student engagement, especially during those tricky adolescent years. Our guests, Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny Anderson, co-authors of The Disengaged Teen, join Emily to break it all down. From the four types of learners—the Passenger, Achiever, Resistor, and Explorer—to how we can help kids tap into curiosity and motivation, this conversation is full of eye-opening insights for both parents and educators. They also unpack the pressures of today’s achievement culture, the influence of tech and AI, and most importantly, how parents and teachers can support teens in becoming more confident, engaged learners.Listen and Learn: Why Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny Anderson wrote a game-changing book to fix the student disengagement crisisWhy only 4% of teens feel truly engaged in school, and what you can do to change thatWhat true engagement looks like in your teen How boosting your child’s engagement in learning can improve grades, motivation, and mental healthWhy the “age of achievement” hoop-jumping is harming your child and how to shift toward true agencyHow your child can shift between four learning modes and how you can help them thriveSpotting if your child’s stuck in “passenger mode” and igniting their true learning sparkHow your neurodivergent or struggling child can unlock support and build resilienceHow your well-meaning expectations might be fueling your child’s harmful perfectionismTurning your child’s “resistor mode” into growth by truly understanding and supporting themWhy your child’s curiosity and choices spark real learning skills that grades and rules can’t teachHow your curiosity and relationship with your child can transform their learning mindsetResources: The Disengaged Teen: Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better:https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593727072Jenny’s website: https://www.jennywestanderson.org/ Rebecca’s website: https://www.rebeccawinthrop.com/Connect with Rebecca on social media: https://www.instagram.com/drrebeccawinthrop/?hl=enhttps://x.com/rebeccawinthrop?lang=enhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-winthrop-b36b0617Connect with Jenny on social media: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/jennyandersonnythttps://x.com/jwestanderson?lang=enhttps://www.instagram.com/jennyandersonwrites/?hl=en About Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny AndersonRebecca Winthrop is a leading global authority on education, the director of the Center for Universal Education at Brookings and an adjunct professor at Georgetown University. She is dedicated to ensuring that every child has the opportunity to thrive in life, work, and as an engaged citizen. She leads cutting-edge research and initiatives aimed at transforming education systems around the world to better support children's learning and development. Rebecca is a trusted advisor to both school communities and national and international organizations. Her expertise is sought by many including parent networks, schools, district education leaders, the White House, the United Nations, and Fortune 500 companies. Rebecca's work is centered on developing and advocating for evidence-based strategies that bring people together—families, educators, policymakers, and companies—to help children maximize their potential. She holds a PhD from Columbia University’s Teachers College, an MA from its School of International and Public Affairs, and a BA from Swarthmore College.Jenny Anderson is an award-winning journalist, author, and speaker with more than 25 years of experience. Her work has appeared in some of the world’s leading publications, including The New York Times, where she was on staff for 10 years, TIME, The Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal and Quartz.Related Episodes:369. Good News About Adolescence with Ellen Galinsky344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber332. Middle School Superpowers with Phyllis Fagell324. Toxic Achievement Culture with Jennifer Wallace319. Autonomy-Supportive Parenting with Emily Edlynn272. Middle School Matters with Phyllis FagellSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What’s a skill that can instantly improve your relationships, communication, and even your influence? In this episode, Yael talks with Caroline Fleck, a licensed psychologist and author of Validation, to unpack exactly that. Caroline explains what validation really is, how it’s different from empathy or sympathy, and why it can be so powerful in both personal and professional relationships.  They walk you through how validation first gained traction in therapy, especially in dialectical behavior therapy, and Caroline shares simple techniques like attending, copying, and proposing that anyone can use. You’ll get Caroline’s take on the challenge of validating someone when you strongly disagree, the role of self-disclosure in connection, and how our understanding of emotions has shifted from classic microexpressions to a more nuanced view of emotional experience. If you’re looking for practical ways to build better relationships and truly connect, this episode is full of insight. Listen and Learn:  What is validation? Why feeling truly seen and accepted is the key to deeper trust, love, and real connection in your life How invalidation can be toxic to your relationships and how empathy and validation actually heal them Can validation help you connect with someone even if you don’t agree or relate to their situation? How accepting someone else's view first can actually boost your influence and get you heard more often The simple act of repeating exact words in conflict helps fights cool down and allows real conversations to happen Why messing up shows you’re trying to truly understand, and how that keeps the connection real Why you don’t have to agree with someone’s whole view to validate it; just find the part that makes sense How to be open, but balanced, to create space for real connection and trust to grow Resources:  Validation: How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593541210 Visit Caroline’s website: https://drcarolinefleck.com/ Connect with Caroline on social media:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolinefleck/ https://www.instagram.com/carolinefleckphd/ https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.CarolineFleck https://www.tiktok.com/@drcarolinefleck  Boogie Board Tablet on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/B551B3AA-1FD5-4BBA-AB25-58D0F67052FE?ingress=0&visitId=8be7808f-e257-437b-b72f-b8e79fd8fca9  Study on empathic effort versus accuracy How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett The Autistic Brain by Temple Grandin About Caroline Fleck:  Dr. Caroline Fleck is a licensed psychologist, writer, and corporate consultant who has served as a supervisor and consultant for some of the most rigorous training programs in the country, including Dr. Marsha Linehan’s program at the University of Washington, the Department of Psychiatry at Stanford Medical Center, and the VA Palo Alto. She is a respected voice in psychology and has been featured in national media outlets, including The New York Times, Good Morning America, and The Huffington Post. Her new book, which we’re here to discuss, is the first of its kind to make the specialized validation skills therapists master to get through to anyone available to everyone. Related Episodes: Episode 120: Use DBT Skills to Regulate Emotions and Be More Effective in Relationships with Matthew McKay Episode 241. Emotion Coaching Skills for Families with Mindy Solomon Episode 282. Toxic Positivity with Whitney Goodman Episode 397. The Mindful Path to Intimacy with James Cordova Episode 408. Connecting like a Hostage Negotiator with Gary Noesner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In a world constantly demanding our attention and energy, have you ever felt trapped between the crucial need to care for yourself and the undeniable urge to care for those around you?  Well, for this conversation, Debbie gets into that very dilemma with Dr. Jordan Quaglia, as he challenges us to move beyond the 'either/or' of self-care and explore his revolutionary 'We Care' approach.  Jordan, who is the author of Self-Care to We Care: The New Science of Mindful Boundaries and Caring From an Undivided Heart, gives his take on the research on balancing self-care with caring for others and emphasizes the importance of holding both self-care and compassion for others simultaneously and offers practical strategies for setting healthy boundaries and integrating self-care into daily life. Come join Debbie and Jordan to redefine what it means to care! Listen and Learn:  Why balancing care for others and self-care isn’t an either-or and the hidden choices in between When self-care crosses into avoidance or indulgence, it may signal disconnection rather than renewal Finding balance when caring for others overrides your own needs In moments of tragedy, do you become the superhero or collapse from the hurt? The We Care framework to transform self-care and caring for others into one balanced practice in everyday life Transform overwhelming empathy into sustainable compassion that fuels your action and protects your well-being How care-based boundaries protect your energy while deepening connection, not guilt Balancing self-care and caring for the world work together to fuel your resilience and action Resources:  From Self-Care to We-Care: The New Science of Mindful Boundaries and Caring from an Undivided Heart: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781645473473 Jordan’s website: https://www.jordanquaglia.com/ Connect with Jordan on LinkedIn and Instagram:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jordanquaglia  https://www.instagram.com/mindfulboundaries/?hl=en About Jordan Quaglia Jordan Quaglia, PhD, has spent over a decade researching and teaching on topics such as mindfulness, compassion, and boundaries. He is an associate professor of psychology at Naropa University, where he directs the Cognitive and Affective Science Laboratory and is research director for its Center for the Advancement of Contemplative Education. A recognized expert in the science of compassion, he has been designated as a research fellow by the Mind & Life Institute, a Contemplative Social Justice Scholar for Contemplative Mind in Society, and a panelist for multiple United Nations Day of Vesak conferences. In addition to his research, Jordan co-developed and regularly teaches an eight-week compassion training curriculum for hundreds of individuals. He lives with his wife in Boulder, Colorado. Book: From Self-Care to We-Care: The New Science of Mindful Boundaries and Caring from an Undivided Heart Related episodes:  374. Developing and Deepening Connections with Adam Dorsay  360. The Laws of Connection with David Robson  262. Hope and Values in Dark Times 254. Cultivating Compassion for a Lasting Connection with Michaela Thomas 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer  201. Fierce Compassion with Kristin Nef 105. The Self-Care Prescription with Robyn Gobin 75. Mindful Self-Compassion with Christopher Germer 65. Self-care, Kindness, and Living Well with Kelly Wilson  46. Altruism and the Flow of Compassion with Yotam Heineberg 32. Social Connection: Exploring Loneliness and Building Intimacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

True strength and success lie in how well we can come together and support one another and how well we can stand side by side to move forward as a collective.  That powerful message comes straight from our guest, Dr. Lakeysha Hallmon, who is the author of No One Is Self-Made: Build Your Village to Flourish in Business and Life, and it perfectly sets the tone for this deeply honest and inspiring conversation with Jill. They talk about why we’re not meant to do life or business solo, the power of building your “village,” and how real success comes from community, not isolation. If you’ve ever wondered who you need in your corner, how to find your purpose, or how to stop carrying the weight alone, this one’s for you. Hit play on this conversation to find out what being “village made” really means and why it just might change the way you show up in the world. Listen and Learn:  Why the "self-made" myth is harmful and how being "village-made" redefines success How neuroscience proves we're wired for community and why it's vital for well-being Why being communal is especially critical for marginalized communities to overcome systemic barriers Are purpose and alignment the driving forces behind building a thriving community? "Life assignments" you can put into practice reveal your true purpose The six essential roles needed to build your "village" and how they contribute to collective success How to attract your "village" by showing up authentically and setting intentions in new spaces The crucial difference between individual and "village-made" values, and how they shape community Key "village-made" values like sharing space with those who shine and radical inclusivity When to keep grinding and when surrendering opens doors you never expected Channelling your anger into action and the "village verbs" that empower community building Resources:  Find Lakeysha and buy her book, No One is Self-Made, at https://drkeyhallmon.com/noism/ or get it at our POTC bookshop: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780063315891  Connect with Lakeysha on social media: http://www.linkedin.com/in/lakeysha-hallmon-ed-d-52680215a https://www.instagram.com/drkeyhallmon   Debbie’s article on asking for help: https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-ask-for-help-without-discomfort-or-apology About Lakeysha Hallmon Dr. Lakeysha Hallmon has transformed the lives of thousands of Black entrepreneurs across the world through her flagship brand The Village Market, and sister organizations The Village Retail, a storefront featuring premier Black-owned brands and nonprofit Our Village United, which revitalizes small businesses by providing funding and technical services. Her love of community, paired with her mantra, Support Is a Verb, inspires Black entrepreneurs everywhere and the communities who support them with intention. As an award-winning expert in education and business development, Hallmon’s innovative village model has become highly sought-after and has facilitated 8.3 million dollars in sales to Black businesses. Related Episodes 116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune 138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer 273. A More Just Future with Dolly Chugh 285. What Do You Want Out of Life? Values Fulfillment Theory with Valerie Tiberius 329. The Power of Curiosity with Scott Shigeoka 370. Freedom, Energy, and Power with Emma Seppälä 371. Uniting Toward a Better Future with Diana McLain Smith Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.