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Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
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Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Author: JLML Press

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In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting philosophy, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics.

Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

Featured in the The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, The Bump, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more.

Copyright JLML Press (2023) All Rights Reserved

281 Episodes
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What do children need from us when they're experiencing intense feelings? What are the best things to say and do to calm their emotional storms? Janet responds to notes from three insightful professionals who express concerns that what they're doing isn't working. Janet validates their perspectives and explains why. Then she offers specific recommendations for navigating children's outbursts in a manner that fosters their resilience and a healthy attitude toward emotions while also nurturing trusting relationships.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A mother laments the close relationship she used to enjoy with her daughter before having another child. Lately, her daughter has been testing limits, and she has found herself losing both her patience and her temper. “I really don’t want to continue this way with my daughter.” She’s wondering if Janet has any advice how she can remain calm and confident when her daughter seems intent on pushing her buttons.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
With the best of intentions, we can invalidate our kids in subtle ways that make it harder for them to move through their feelings in a healthy manner. Janet responds to three questions from listeners who each recount a specific difficulty they’re experiencing with their kids’ behaviors. These are thoughtful, patient, respectful parents, yet their problems seem to persist. They feel they just can’t get through to their child. Janet identifies a common thread in these parents’ stories and explains how and why they could be inadvertently invalidating their children’s feelings. She offers suggestions for how they might look beyond the problem to understand and address the cause.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
It can be confounding when our children behave in negative ways after we've told them umpteen times it’s wrong. Surely they’re aware that we don’t approve! And yet, they repeat the behavior no matter how frustrated, annoyed, or angry we get. Janet offers her perspective on this dynamic while answering a question from the mom of a short-tempered 6-year-old. This boy's father believes certain behaviors are simply unacceptable because their son is “old enough to know better,” but this mom isn't as sure and wonders if Janet can clarify what they should realistically expect for a child their son’s age.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.You can find the Mr. Chazz videos that Janet mentions at: tiktok.com/@mrchazzmrchazz.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Trauma informed coaches Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn join Janet to discuss how they help parents identify triggers and heal wounds that are preventing them from being the parents they wish to be and otherwise negatively impacting their daily lives. Andrew says: "Trauma robs you of the freedom to choose how you react." Lavinia and Andrew describe some of the common signs of trauma and repressed emotions, how they recognized their own, and how their respective coaching practices enable parents to process these emotions by connecting with the needs of their inner child. Reach Lavinia at LaviniaBrown.com. Her Instagram is LaviniaBrownCoaching.Reach Andrew at AndrewLynn.net, or on Instagram at Andrew.g.Lynn.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this week’s podcast, Janet breaks format slightly by sharing back-and-forth interactions she's had with listeners and her reflections about these exchanges. In the first, a parent eloquently describes a revelation about his children’s challenging behaviors and how they can bring out his best self. The second exchange explores the nuances of navigating boundaries and the messages we unintentionally give children by walking on eggshells vs. welcoming their feelings. Janet connects these discussions by noting how they both express what putting love into action really means with our kids. Exciting news: Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available now at: NoBadKidsCourse Check it all out and receive an introductory discount!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet responds to 3 separate messages from parents who are having issues with their children that are making them confused and unsure of themselves. While the details of the children's behaviors all differ, Janet identifies a common theme in the parents’ reactions and attitudes that she believes is perpetuating the behavior. She offers suggestions for how these parents can shift their perspective, gain more confidence in their role as leaders, and respond in a manner that resolves the true need behind the "wants" their children are expressing.Janet's No Bad Kids Master Course is available now: http://nobadkidscourse.com Check it all out and receive an introductory discount!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A frustrated parent writes that she and her partner are feeling like failures because their 2.5-year-old is pushy and demanding to the point that they end up losing their patience and yelling. Most challenging of all is that the toddler screams when she doesn’t get her way -- and sometimes for no reason at all. Occasionally, they've screamed right back. “I know,” this parent admits, “a very low point.” Janet offers insights as to the cause of the child's behavior and a perspective shift to help ease this mom’s concerns while also improving their parent-child relationship dynamics.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more than we need to --- depleting our energy with roles and tasks that are better left to our child. In this episode, Janet offers ideas for lightening our workload by recognizing and trusting our children's intrinsic abilities. Janet's job description reframe can help save our energy, nurture self-confidence, and at the same time foster a flourishing parent-child relationship. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
The parent of three young boys is struggling to deal with their demands and the conflicts between them. If she accommodates one boy’s wishes, the other two react with an opposing desire, jealousy, and fighting. She’s wondering how to cope with her situation when everything feels like a compromise. “Most of the time I feel like they’re either fighting with each other or fighting over me,” she says. “It’s exhausting.”Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury.com and NoBadKidsCourse.com.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet replies to the concerns of 3 different families who all share that they're struggling with their children's controlling, inflexible, and, in one case, possessive behaviors. The children range in age from 2 to 6, and Janet observes they all appear to have personalities on the intense side. One parent is particularly worried about how her son treats his peers when he doesn't get his way. She writes: "I worry he will lose friends or be unable to form deep connections if he yells and screams at his friends like this." Janet suggests a point of view for understanding and addressing these behaviors which can apply to almost any issue parents might face. She also offers examples of responses for the specific behaviors in each of these situations.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available for pre-order at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books in paperback at Amazon (https://amzn.to/3VTmJ1j) and in audio at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet shares what she describes as her most valuable advice for parents -- a mindset that brings clarity to our role in our children's lives, makes our job more enjoyable and successful, and may even offer us personal growth. Janet explains why and how this perspective works, offers practical examples, and touches on some of the common issues that can get in our way. As parents, we tend to question ourselves: are we doing this parenting thing right, or are we failing? Janet's message is to afford ourselves the same trust and grace we hope to give to our children, to fully believe that we can do this!Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is now available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A parent is uncomfortable with her toddler's tantrums because her child seems so unreachable at these times. The parent's instinct is to reach out, soothe and reassure her child, but she realizes there is no way to get through to her when she's in the midst of it. She's hoping Janet has advice for how she might connect with respect and compassion. Janet's 'No Bad Kids Master Course' is available for pre-order on her website www.janetlansbury.com or at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Educator Ashley Causey-Golden was drawn to Montessori principles but felt something missing that she longed to provide: cultural relevancy. She wondered, "What would it look like to create a Montessori space that uplifted, affirmed, celebrated Black children?" Fulfilling this desire has been a journey of discovery and grace (with a lot of mistakes along the way). Ashley's ultimate success gave her the courage to pursue another passion: nature education. As the co-founder of Gather Forest School and creator of Afrocentric Montessori, Ashley has a wealth of experience to share with all families and educators interested in nurturing our children's spirit, sense of community, and connection to the natural world. For more about Ashley and her resources and projects, please visit: https://afrocentricmontessori.com/Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Janet's books are available in paperback (https://amzn.to/3VTmJ1j) and ebook at Amazon.com, and in audio at Audible.Thanks again to Ritual Vitamins for sponsoring this episode. Get 10% off your first 3 months when you shop online at ritual.com/respect.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet addresses a parent’s concerns about her daughter’s unwillingness to play independently. She seems to need constant stimulation and entertainment.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com or www.JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books in paperback at Amazon (https://amzn.to/3VTmJ1j) and in audio at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
We may not always agree with the parenting styles of our relatives and friends, and that's okay. Get-togethers can still be enjoyable, positive social experiences for us and for our kids. In this episode, Janet offers her perspective on some of the common challenges that arise in gatherings with friends, family, and in public situations with other kids and parents. Her suggestions include: How to set ourselves up for successBeing proactive, rather than reactiveEffective interventions with other parents’ children (as well as our own)Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon at https://amzn.to/3VTmJ1j, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A concerned parent writes that her 3-year-old seems to be in a constant state of frustration or anxiety, and she makes outlandish demands and cries when she doesn’t get her way. While this mom tries to be compassionate, it’s getting more and more difficult, and she worries that her own postpartum anxiety may have modeled the behavior. She’s looking for healthy ways to help them both cope.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at wwwnobadkidscourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet's guest is psychologist, writer, researcher, and Harvard lecturer Susan Linn. For decades, Susan has been a passionate advocate for our children and a steadfast fighter against the infiltration of Big Business and Big Tech into kids' lives (and parents' pocketbooks). In an eye-opening discussion, Susan describes how digital culture is designed to indoctrinate children into consumerism and brand loyalty, and how it's geared to create dependencies on games and devices for stimulation and soothing. She explains how games and devices teach values that are often diametrically opposed to our own, how they can affect learning by shrinking our children’s world and even interfere with parent-child relationships. Ultimately, Susan and Janet focus on the positive actions we can take to lessen the impact of manipulative marketers while realistically acknowledging the role of digitized culture in all of our lives.More to learn in this episode:How to choose the most beneficial toys and programs for our kidsHow advertisers capture children's attention and encourage them to nag us for more, more, moreWhy combatting commercialized culture isn't only a family issue, but a societal oneWhat Alexa offers to "bored" childrenComputer games are less "active" for kids than we might believeFor more on Susan, her work, and her books, visit: www.https://www.consumingkids.com/Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Many of us imagine late afternoons or evenings with our children as the perfect time to wind down and connect after a busy day. Unfortunately, this is often precisely when our children need to unload the day’s stresses. Which means that instead of enjoying restorative quality time together, we're faced with challenging behavior, high emotions, and discontent. Janet unpacks some of the reasons why evenings can be so difficult for kids and what we can do to help them (and ourselves!).  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury.com and NoBadKidsCourse.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet is joined by Nedra Tawwab: therapist, relationship expert, and author of the NY Times best-seller “Set Boundaries, Find Peace.” Nedra and Janet discuss how our personal boundaries with friends, family, co-workers, and children are crucial for building positive, healthy relationships. Nedra emphasizes how boundaries begin with being kinder to ourselves. "We are in relationships from the time we're born,” Nedra says, “and the biggest relationship, the most consistent relationship we have is the one with ourselves. And that is the relationship that I'm constantly trying to improve." Ultimately, the boundaries and self-image we nurture for ourselves teach our children what they deserve in their relationships, now and in the future.For more information and resources from Nedra, including her best-selling book "Set Boundaries, Find Peace," go to: https://www.nedratawwab.com/Janet's NO BAD KIDS MASTER COURSE is now available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Comments (52)

Jules Le Tanneur

That's a lot of things to do and not much letting go of extra things that we do 😅 The main energy-saving message is to try to make it natural and free-flowing rather than considering it a job, I guess.

Mar 11th
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Thomas Nicol

this guy just rambles on and never actually explains what you DO

Feb 16th
Reply

Nelson gri

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Feb 12th
Reply

Nelson gri

Have you been looking for a chance to join the Powerful illuminati brotherhood and you have met the wrong people who pretended to be illuminati master, well here is your chance to join the Illuminati brotherhood to be rich , powerful,famous , wealthy, protected and respected . The Illuminati is a brotherhood were Loved is share and plans to establish new world order you are receiving a million dollars as your first benefits to start new life once you become a member of the great illuminati brotherhood.not kidding. Message via WhatsApp +1(631)714-2689.

Feb 12th
Reply

J

saw play is in real life several times. definitely easier said than done.

Nov 17th
Reply

Hudson

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Aug 2nd
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Franziska Scheumann

This is such a wonderful podcast with so many tips and explanations about children's development. It has changed my outlook on the whole parenting thing although I had been following a relationship oriented approach before but Janet and her calm way of talking about it helps me with a lot of real life situations. Thank you so much for your great work ❤

Feb 3rd
Reply

Concrete Angel

I needed to hear this today. thank you!

Nov 25th
Reply

Paulina Lach

This episode was dedicated especially to me, I have cried while listening. This woman described so well what I feel at the moment and my struggles. I have just started the therapy to fight off my childhood demons. Now I also know I am not alone in my experience. Thank you for all your amazing work Janet ❤

Oct 10th
Reply

Steph Rodrigues Bonyun

I just wanted to say that this podcast is one of the most important ones here and it brought tears to my eyes many times. It made me think about my chdhood, about me as a mom now, and about my kid 20 years from now. thank you for this. love Janet and everything you have been helping me understand about myself and hopefully about being a better human to my kid as well.

Sep 6th
Reply

Bri Keasbey

it's frustrating that you don't have examples for children that are not adjusting to a new sibling in so many of your podcasts.

Aug 30th
Reply

Danielle Delane

Many points I agree with. However, I feel on the topics of meltdowns and tantrums, I do not think it's good to let a child unravel the way its mentioned. Personally, I believe, yes, let your child feel what they feel; but help give them the tools to redirect them on HOW to process their feelings of anger and frustration in constructive ways. Tell them it's okay to feel angry, but allow them to explain why they're angry and give them the tools on what to do to healthily process that anger. It'll benefit the child as they get older. If it's a full blown meltdown (which is different than a tantrum as meltdowns are uncontrollable) then you put them in a quiet room until it passes.

May 28th
Reply

Jennifer Thompson

I have to disagree with asking the child. I'm just in the process of getting out of the habit of asking a question or asking if it's okay when it's just the thing that needs to be done such as brushing teeth or going to bed. I say now it's time to do this. otherwise I was abdicating my leadership role and I am responsible for my kid. otherwise they would never brush their teeth or go to bed and they're too young to be able to take care of themselves in that way. using this phrase now it's time, has helped me gain some confidence and not be over attuned

Aug 28th
Reply (3)

Nicole Moreno Diaz

WOWWWW! the advertisement was extremely long !

Aug 18th
Reply

Caris Saceanu Poynter

I think kids need help to understand and learn earlier on about feelings and thoughts.. use cbt techniques early on to have the skills later on in life

Aug 11th
Reply

AshenFox

I tend to be color blind myself and I think it has influenced my views on racial police violence. Race has become like hair and eye color to me so I found it hard to understand or believe. However... As you discussed the carry over blame between minority students I realized that I had experienced something similar. Coming from a large family I often recieved blame and negative attitudes based on my siblings' actions simply because teachers grouped us together. Might be easier for majority groups to understand/believe when considering such analogs they can experience. Only this is in a massive scale where the authorities carry guns instead of textbooks.

Jul 15th
Reply

no need for a username

It is somewhat elitist to say that it is a choice for parents to work and not to stay home with their child. My partner and I both need to work in order to pay the bills, and I would love to be able to make the choice to stay home with our child, but I do not have that choice to make, financially speaking.

Jun 21st
Reply

Kristen Freeman

"when we learn to struggle we learn to live." love this.

Jun 14th
Reply

Marie

Hi, I'm curious if there is an episode about toddlers and repeatedly saying things over and over? I've just started listening to latest episode

May 13th
Reply

Erin McCracken Ferro

Please, please do an episode on how to talk to kids about Covid-19!

Mar 15th
Reply
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