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A frustrated parent writes that she and her partner are feeling like failures because their 2.5-year-old is pushy and demanding to the point that they end up losing their patience and yelling. Most challenging of all is that the toddler screams when she doesn’t get her way -- and sometimes for no reason at all. Occasionally, they've screamed right back. “I know,” this parent admits, “a very low point.” Janet offers insights as to the cause of the child's behavior and a perspective shift to help ease this mom’s concerns while also improving their parent-child relationship dynamics.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more than we need to --- depleting our energy with roles and tasks that are better left to our child. In this episode, Janet offers ideas for lightening our workload by recognizing and trusting our children's intrinsic abilities. Janet's job description reframe can help save our energy, nurture self-confidence, and at the same time foster a flourishing parent-child relationship. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
The parent of three young boys is struggling to deal with their demands and the conflicts between them. If she accommodates one boy’s wishes, the other two react with an opposing desire, jealousy, and fighting. She’s wondering how to cope with her situation when everything feels like a compromise. “Most of the time I feel like they’re either fighting with each other or fighting over me,” she says. “It’s exhausting.”Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury.com and NoBadKidsCourse.com.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet replies to the concerns of 3 different families who all share that they're struggling with their children's controlling, inflexible, and, in one case, possessive behaviors. The children range in age from 2 to 6, and Janet observes they all appear to have personalities on the intense side. One parent is particularly worried about how her son treats his peers when he doesn't get his way. She writes: "I worry he will lose friends or be unable to form deep connections if he yells and screams at his friends like this." Janet suggests a point of view for understanding and addressing these behaviors which can apply to almost any issue parents might face. She also offers examples of responses for the specific behaviors in each of these situations.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available for pre-order at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books in paperback at Amazon (https://amzn.to/3VTmJ1j) and in audio at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet shares what she describes as her most valuable advice for parents -- a mindset that brings clarity to our role in our children's lives, makes our job more enjoyable and successful, and may even offer us personal growth. Janet explains why and how this perspective works, offers practical examples, and touches on some of the common issues that can get in our way. As parents, we tend to question ourselves: are we doing this parenting thing right, or are we failing? Janet's message is to afford ourselves the same trust and grace we hope to give to our children, to fully believe that we can do this!Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is now available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A parent is uncomfortable with her toddler's tantrums because her child seems so unreachable at these times. The parent's instinct is to reach out, soothe and reassure her child, but she realizes there is no way to get through to her when she's in the midst of it. She's hoping Janet has advice for how she might connect with respect and compassion. Janet's 'No Bad Kids Master Course' is available for pre-order on her website www.janetlansbury.com or at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Educator Ashley Causey-Golden was drawn to Montessori principles but felt something missing that she longed to provide: cultural relevancy. She wondered, "What would it look like to create a Montessori space that uplifted, affirmed, celebrated Black children?" Fulfilling this desire has been a journey of discovery and grace (with a lot of mistakes along the way). Ashley's ultimate success gave her the courage to pursue another passion: nature education. As the co-founder of Gather Forest School and creator of Afrocentric Montessori, Ashley has a wealth of experience to share with all families and educators interested in nurturing our children's spirit, sense of community, and connection to the natural world. For more about Ashley and her resources and projects, please visit: https://afrocentricmontessori.com/Janet's books are available in paperback (https://amzn.to/3VTmJ1j) and ebook at Amazon.com, and in audio at Audible.Thanks again to Ritual Vitamins for sponsoring this episode. Get 10% off your first 3 months when you shop online at ritual.com/respect.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet addresses a parent’s concerns about her daughter’s unwillingness to play independently. She seems to need constant stimulation and entertainment.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available for pre-order at www.nobadkidscourse.com or www.JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books in paperback at Amazon (https://amzn.to/3VTmJ1j) and in audio at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
We may not always agree with the parenting styles of our relatives and friends, and that's okay. Get-togethers can still be enjoyable, positive social experiences for us and for our kids. In this episode, Janet offers her perspective on some of the common challenges that arise in gatherings with friends, family, and in public situations with other kids and parents. Her suggestions include: How to set ourselves up for successBeing proactive, rather than reactiveEffective interventions with other parents’ children (as well as our own)Thanks to our sponsor BetterHelp for supporting this episode. Get 10% off your first month of professional online therapy at www.BetterHelp.com/RESPECT.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon:https://amzn.to/3VTmJ1j Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A concerned parent writes that her 3-year-old seems to be in a constant state of frustration or anxiety, and she makes outlandish demands and cries when she doesn’t get her way. While this mom tries to be compassionate, it’s getting more and more difficult, and she worries that her own postpartum anxiety may have modeled the behavior. She’s looking for healthy ways to help them both cope.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at wwwnobadkidscourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet's guest is psychologist, writer, researcher, and Harvard lecturer Susan Linn. For decades, Susan has been a passionate advocate for our children and a steadfast fighter against the infiltration of Big Business and Big Tech into kids' lives (and parents' pocketbooks). In an eye-opening discussion, Susan describes how digital culture is designed to indoctrinate children into consumerism and brand loyalty, and how it's geared to create dependencies on games and devices for stimulation and soothing. She explains how games and devices teach values that are often diametrically opposed to our own, how they can affect learning by shrinking our children’s world and even interfere with parent-child relationships. Ultimately, Susan and Janet focus on the positive actions we can take to lessen the impact of manipulative marketers while realistically acknowledging the role of digitized culture in all of our lives.More to learn in this episode:How to choose the most beneficial toys and programs for our kidsHow advertisers capture children's attention and encourage them to nag us for more, more, moreWhy combatting commercialized culture isn't only a family issue, but a societal oneWhat Alexa offers to "bored" childrenComputer games are less "active" for kids than we might believeFor more on Susan, her work, and her books, visit: www.https://www.consumingkids.com/For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.Thanks again to Ritual Vitamins for sponsoring this episode. Get 10% off your first 3 months when you shop online at ritual.com/respect.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Many of us imagine late afternoons or evenings with our children as the perfect time to wind down and connect after a busy day. Unfortunately, this is often precisely when our children need to unload the day’s stresses. Which means that instead of enjoying restorative quality time together, we're faced with challenging behavior, high emotions, and discontent. Janet unpacks some of the reasons why evenings can be so difficult for kids and what we can do to help them (and ourselves!).  Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/RESPECT.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet is joined by Nedra Tawwab: therapist, relationship expert, and author of the NY Times best-seller “Set Boundaries, Find Peace.” Nedra and Janet discuss how our personal boundaries with friends, family, co-workers, and children are crucial for building positive, healthy relationships. Nedra emphasizes how boundaries begin with being kinder to ourselves. "We are in relationships from the time we're born,” Nedra says, “and the biggest relationship, the most consistent relationship we have is the one with ourselves. And that is the relationship that I'm constantly trying to improve." Ultimately, the boundaries and self-image we nurture for ourselves teach our children what they deserve in their relationships, now and in the future.For more information and resources from Nedra, including her best-selling book "Set Boundaries, Find Peace," go to: https://www.nedratawwab.com/Thanks to Better Help for sponsoring this episode. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/RESPECT.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A parent with a family in transition writes about a series of mischievous and sometimes destructive incidents perpetrated by her toddler. She’s wondering how to address these situations, especially after the fact when the deed is already done.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ.Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Sleep is an essential element of our happiness and well-being. If our child is not sleeping, then chances are good that we aren’t either. Many families are content with the sleep situations in their households, and more power to them. Others seek advice and solutions because they struggle night after night. Still others fear that making any kind of change in their approach could threaten their attachment bond and are resigned to waiting months, even years, for their children's sleep patterns to improve. They've been led to believe that this is the only natural, gentle, or respectful way. Sleep specialist Eileen Henry's perspective is neither "cry it out" nor "wait it out," but a middle way that prioritizes attachment and is rooted in science and nature. "We don't train children to sleep,” she says. “We create a physical and emotional environment that allows sleep to come naturally." Visit Eileen's website at: http://compassionatesleepsolutions.com/Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at JanetLansbury and NoBadKidsCourse.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet responds to a mother who writes that she tries to sportscast disagreements between her older two children, but since the 2-year-old isn’t verbal yet, “it’s hard when I don’t really know what he’s thinking.” She’s wondering how to sportscast situations effectively without making assumptions about what her boy may be thinking or feeling in that moment.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A frustrated parent who describes herself as “desperate for help” seeks advice about her persistent, high-energy 2.5-year-old, who dominates her and her husband's time and energy with relentless demands to be the focus of their universe -- all day, every day.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Our children's impatience and low tolerance for frustration can… well, test our patience! In this week's episode, Janet responds to a question from a listener about how to teach a toddler to be more patient. Janet considers what patience really means to a child, how it develops, and how our expectations as parents and caregivers may get in the way. Her recommendations (as is often the case) may be surprising and counterintuitive. Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode. Get 10% off your first month of professional online therapy at www.BetterHelp.com/RESPECT. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon: https://amzn.to/3ATFwkb Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A parent who’s always been her toddler’s playmate helps her child over the hump to flourish in independent play. Another parent learns to set boundaries, shift her perspective, and accept her child’s meltdowns. Janet shares a special milestone and much more in this latest episode of Unruffled. Thanks to Ritual for sponsoring this episode. Step up your gut health with Ritual's new Synbiotic+ for 10% off during your first 3 months by going to www.Ritual.com/10RESPECT. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet responds to a parent who wonders how to react to her daughter's consistently stubborn behavior. "I feel like I have a set of tools to handle my 4-year-old daughter's outbursts of emotions, but I am at a loss for what to do when she stoically disobeys or ignores me altogether." For more on respectful parenting solutions, please check out "Sessions", Janet's collection of recorded consultations with parents: www.SessionsAudio.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Comments (48)

J

saw play is in real life several times. definitely easier said than done.

Nov 17th
Reply

Hudson

Thanks for sharing, I found a lot of interesting information here. A really good post, very thankful and helpful that you will write many more posts like this one.https://www.mahealthconnector.me/

Aug 2nd
Reply

Franziska Scheumann

This is such a wonderful podcast with so many tips and explanations about children's development. It has changed my outlook on the whole parenting thing although I had been following a relationship oriented approach before but Janet and her calm way of talking about it helps me with a lot of real life situations. Thank you so much for your great work ❤

Feb 3rd
Reply

Concrete Angel

I needed to hear this today. thank you!

Nov 25th
Reply

Paulina Lach

This episode was dedicated especially to me, I have cried while listening. This woman described so well what I feel at the moment and my struggles. I have just started the therapy to fight off my childhood demons. Now I also know I am not alone in my experience. Thank you for all your amazing work Janet ❤

Oct 10th
Reply

Steph Rodrigues Bonyun

I just wanted to say that this podcast is one of the most important ones here and it brought tears to my eyes many times. It made me think about my chdhood, about me as a mom now, and about my kid 20 years from now. thank you for this. love Janet and everything you have been helping me understand about myself and hopefully about being a better human to my kid as well.

Sep 6th
Reply

Bri Keasbey

it's frustrating that you don't have examples for children that are not adjusting to a new sibling in so many of your podcasts.

Aug 30th
Reply

Danielle Delane

Many points I agree with. However, I feel on the topics of meltdowns and tantrums, I do not think it's good to let a child unravel the way its mentioned. Personally, I believe, yes, let your child feel what they feel; but help give them the tools to redirect them on HOW to process their feelings of anger and frustration in constructive ways. Tell them it's okay to feel angry, but allow them to explain why they're angry and give them the tools on what to do to healthily process that anger. It'll benefit the child as they get older. If it's a full blown meltdown (which is different than a tantrum as meltdowns are uncontrollable) then you put them in a quiet room until it passes.

May 28th
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Jennifer Thompson

I have to disagree with asking the child. I'm just in the process of getting out of the habit of asking a question or asking if it's okay when it's just the thing that needs to be done such as brushing teeth or going to bed. I say now it's time to do this. otherwise I was abdicating my leadership role and I am responsible for my kid. otherwise they would never brush their teeth or go to bed and they're too young to be able to take care of themselves in that way. using this phrase now it's time, has helped me gain some confidence and not be over attuned

Aug 28th
Reply (3)

Nicole Moreno Diaz

WOWWWW! the advertisement was extremely long !

Aug 18th
Reply

Caris Saceanu Poynter

I think kids need help to understand and learn earlier on about feelings and thoughts.. use cbt techniques early on to have the skills later on in life

Aug 11th
Reply

AshenFox

I tend to be color blind myself and I think it has influenced my views on racial police violence. Race has become like hair and eye color to me so I found it hard to understand or believe. However... As you discussed the carry over blame between minority students I realized that I had experienced something similar. Coming from a large family I often recieved blame and negative attitudes based on my siblings' actions simply because teachers grouped us together. Might be easier for majority groups to understand/believe when considering such analogs they can experience. Only this is in a massive scale where the authorities carry guns instead of textbooks.

Jul 15th
Reply

no need for a username

It is somewhat elitist to say that it is a choice for parents to work and not to stay home with their child. My partner and I both need to work in order to pay the bills, and I would love to be able to make the choice to stay home with our child, but I do not have that choice to make, financially speaking.

Jun 21st
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Kristen Freeman

"when we learn to struggle we learn to live." love this.

Jun 14th
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Marie

Hi, I'm curious if there is an episode about toddlers and repeatedly saying things over and over? I've just started listening to latest episode

May 13th
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Erin McCracken Ferro

Please, please do an episode on how to talk to kids about Covid-19!

Mar 15th
Reply

Anitka Pena-Tomczak

Janet!hi!I absolutely love your approach,I needed to get some ideas what I can do to get my son out of situations where he needed his mama bear. And I did!keep on sharing 💞 I have got a question myself, how to convince my son to brushing his teeth? shall I make it in to a together activity or just wait and he will do it himself without me insisting etc.

Mar 12th
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Anita Marković

Hi, I wanted to tell you that the sound is strange, like some echo, not pleasant for listening.

Feb 12th
Reply

Erin McCracken Ferro

Hi Janet, thanks for clarifying this parent's question. I'm still confused though. It sounded like a lot of the reason for the behavior was going back to the parent. I certainly don't go around hitting people and I'm not an aggressive person, nor do I speak harshly to anyone. I'm not sure what you mean by 'help your child' when they're taunting or hitting- what is the action one would take, a side from the words you described in the podcast? Thanks, I'm a big fan of your work!

Feb 7th
Reply

Taylor Drake

Love this episode and gave me such a wonderful perspective and new ideas for the approach I take with my son following the Holidays. Thank you for giving me the tools and power of understanding at his core what is going on when he is acting out and seems to expect and demand everything he wants. You're an amazing person and your lessons are priceless.

Jan 30th
Reply
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