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Rude Tales of Magic

Rude Tales of Magic
Author: Bucket of Milk
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© 2023 Rude Tales of Magic
Description
In this improvised narrative role playing podcast, come and join artists, writers, and comedians from Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, Marvel Comics, and more as they fight and fumble their way across the madcap, and exceedingly rude, fantasy wasteland of Cordelia. Branson Reese and his jester's retinue, Christopher Hastings, Carly Monardo, Tim Platt, Joe Lepore, and Ali Fisher star as a group of unlikely survivors (a talking crow, a lich in a wig, a bubbly fawn, a Sasquatch punk, and a tiefling hunk, specifically) who must solve the mystery of Polaris University's vanishment and return balance and higher education to their world. It's going to be very hard and very, very, rude.
151 Episodes
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500th Episode Spectacular, and the start of a new campaign??!? Well that's pretty nice, if you ask me!!When Park Rangers Quincy Ampersand (Joe Lepore), Wendy Baleen (Carly Monardo), and Charlie Chucklebutt (Ali Fisher) enjoy a lunch break on a beautiful spring day, it feels like absolutely nothing can go wrong. And don't worry, by the end of the episode, our heroes are all happy and alive- that's the Nice Tales of Friendship Guarantee™ !Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Nice Friend Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Every year, the Rude Tales crew plays Yuletide Kombat Family, an amazing adventure where holiday characters fight each other to save Christmas (I think?). This year, however, the battle is PROM-THEMED! How? Why? Who? Huh? All will be answered in YULETIDE KOMBAT FAMILY IV: PROM!Yuletide Kombat Family is invented, GM’d, produced, and sound designed by Tim Platt. Editing from Sam Grant with special fighting music from Steve DeSiena. BUCKET OF MILK 4 LIFE BABY!Want to support Rude Tales and get access to all kinds of fulfilling, enriching content at the same time?? My friend you simply must join us on PATREON for bonus pods, original art, the Rude Tales discord, and so, so, so much more.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…yeah, an open fire tended to by HESTIA! That’s right, the third ever episode of Yuletide Kombat Family is Greek Mythology themed! Listen to Ali Fisher, Carly Monardo, Christopher Hastings, and Joe Lepore fight gods and gift givers alike in this classic holiday game invented and GM’d by Tim Platt. Edited and sound designed by Tim Platt featuring music from Steve Desiena! A Bucket of Milk Production! Happy Halloween everybody!Yuletide Kombat Family is a holiday fighting game where seasonal opponents fight each other. If you want to play it, go ahead.WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING.follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our first Big Freak: Kristina Lopez.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Yuletide Kombat Family is a game where holiday themed characters fight to save Christmas. This time, however, the Rude Tales crew puts a whole new spin on the word “SEASON” looooooool! You’ll figure it out once you listen! I love you! Produced [and this episode description written -.ed] by Tim Platt with additional music from Steve Desiena.
And WOW look at these sponsors!
Oddity Roadshow! (Great new podcast from the Critical Bits folks, check it out! or die)
Inked Gaming
BackBlaze
Retrograde Minis
WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! The "stars" of this podcast are really "out" tonight, if you know what I mean.
follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Tis the season…yeah the season to FIGHT! Tim Platt runs a made up game of YULETIDE KOMBAT FAMILY for Ali, Branson, Carly, Chris, Joe, and Taylor! Featuring music from Steve Desiena. Produced by Tim Platt. Happy Holidays from all of us here are Rude Tales! See you next year ;)
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
WARNING: This Episode Contains Spoilers for the 2013 Novel The Goldfinch, by Donna Tartt.Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Our heroes say goodbye to some fallen friends, but in the twisted world of Nethermurk? They've never even heard of a bereavement policy, friend. That's right, the gang finds themselves in Diatopolis- the beating, evil heart of the enemy. But could it also be...more?Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Studio Ghibli and the creature known only as Ranger lead their flock of spider children on a relentless pursuit of Agrigenta and Fingerdale. Hi, new listeners! Hope that synopsis was straightforward for you!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Lemon finds herself alone, facing impossible odds against- you guessed- the Fungalganger. Meanwhile, Linus, Uly, and Paris search for answers on a ship that may not be above water for very long. And what if, thrown into the mix, was a legendary warrior, the one Dark Elf cursed-with goodness?? Well who knows what could happen...Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Now that Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) has finally found love in-of all places-the heart of Book Megastore tycoon Joe Fox (Tom Hanks), she thinks she has it all. But when Joe heads off to open the world's largest bookstore across the pond, can his same old emails compete with the new missives she starts receiving from a mysterious stranger? And when former employee-turned-online-bookseller George Pappas (Steve Zahn) comes to Kathleen with jaw-dropping offer, will she ever reach Inbox Zero again?Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Finally our heroes do the unthinkable: meet a bunch of weird guys on boats! Watch out, folks! First two podcast rows will get wet!And meanwhile: A shoe repair appointment takes an interesting turn...Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our Big Freak Spacejamfan!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
With Studio Ghibli (Joe Lepore) and the creature known only as "Ranger" (Tim Platt) in hot pursuit of Agrigenta, it's only a matter of time before they find her and stop her wild machinations. That is, as long as they don't run into a truly strange parade. A strange parade indeed...Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
With Lemon captured by the villainous Agrigenta Salumeria and her devious parasite Fingerdale, Linus, Uly, and Paris have no choice but to discuss the evolution of the Sid Meier's Civilizati—rescue her! And when Lemon and her captors reach Pennsylvania Base Camp, you know that can only mean one thing: Intercourse!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Uh Oh! Our heroes are trapped in the clutches of Sanguina Bob, Paris is still covered in Neon Black, Uly seems to be getting stranger-sorry, more human- by the minute, it's getting to be too much! I just hope, and pray, that plot lines don't begin to shockingly converge!!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
As a special end of year treat for you, our finest listeners, we're unlocking a taste of some of the dee-lectable bonus content you can find on our PATREON! We can't make the show without our beautiful Patreon supporters- you seem beautiful, shouldn't you be one of them?Wealthy Poorson, one of the 10 richest Batpeople in the Nethermurk, used his immense fortune to travel every inch of our wonderful underground world. It has been said that Wealthy Poorson has seen everything there is to see in the Nethermurk—and then some!Realizing that the wealth-challenged may be unable to devote so much of their time to exploration, Wealthy set out to record all he has learned of the Nethermurk- from its glittering cities to its weirdest little freaks. And thus began Wealthy Poorson's Nethermurk Almanack.Today's Entry: Water.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The gang enters the mosquito temple. Will they survive it's many dangers? Well with Paris blinded and covered in unending darkness...could go either way!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
As our heroes prepare to enter the Mosquito Temple in search of God's Blood, we turn to a darker corner of these creepy caves. Agrigenta (Carly Monardo) and Studio Ghibli (Joe Lepore) remain trapped in the Neon Black after killing the popular band Containment, but will a mysterious creature known only as "Ranger" (Tim Platt) be able to rescue them? Or does a stranger newcomer (Branson Reese) have other ideas??HO HO! You heard right! We've got the Rude Tales Store stocked with fresh new holiday merch! Swing by and pick yourself out a gift hoodie, or buy a hot new mug for someone a little twisted in your life. Plus we'll have some amazing classic live show posters available too. And speaking of live shows: All of our classic live shows are up for sale in our Patreon Shop! You don't have to be a patron to purchase (though Patrons do get sweet discounts), so what are you waiting for? would you pass up the chance to reunite with Naughty Nico??Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Alt Title: Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Getting their Light EatenSome Personal News: All of our classic live shows are up for sale in our Patreon Shop! You don't have to be a patron to purchase (though Patrons do get sweet discounts), so what are you waiting for? would you pass up the chance to reunite with Naughty Nico??Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Just when they think they've escaped the forest of carnivorous plants, the gang finds themselves in a tiny echo-pocket of air surrounded by a freezing lake full of *gulp* sharks! Will they ever reach Culicidan, City Con Carne? Or are they quickly devoured by sharks and most of this episode is just looping lake wave sound effects? Listen to find out!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Our Heroes travel upwards. But in some cruel twist of fate, only greater dangers await them?? Dang! I thought they were already through the vexing obstacles!!!Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button!This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The king is back baby!!
"it's like a death rattle but it's pee" 🔥🔥
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1:02:26 "Yo, Stir-fry orgasms" 😂
45:23 not the edging commentary 😂
Hilarious. I love the overall audio engineering, which has all sorts of sound effects and musical stings. the characters have surprisingly meaningful arcs to them, too.
the best fucking summer epic episode omg
I uh... I would die for stir-fry.
👍
Great characters, great improv, great flow, absolutely horrible audio. Character voice volume varies greatly, with some characters being so quiet at points you meed to max out your volume to evennhear them, while the rest talk at a normal volume, Worse than that,though, is that for some reason they think every single action needs a sound effect, which means constant footsteps, water dripping, spider chittering, flesh monsters making wet noises, etc. All of that distracts from the narration itself, and half of the time it just sounds like they have horrible recording equipment and someone is loudly chewing into their mic. I hate dropping a podcast after becoming invested in the characters, but this is one of the worst I've come across for noise-sensitive listeners.
damn if that thunder lingus song is on the patreon ill have to sub sounds like they shred
daddy spider said trans rights
fantastic podcast, really enjoying the characters (especially stir-fry). good balance between the story telling and dice rolling.