Sex and Psychology Podcast

Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men are increasingly finding sexual partners through apps such as Grindr. These apps haven’t just changed the way people find partners, though, they’ve also changed queer men and gay culture in major ways, some of which have been positive, while others have been negative. So let's talk about the good, bad, and ugly of gay hookup apps. I am joined once again by Zachary Zane, a Brooklyn-based sex writer. He is the sex and relationship columnist for Men’s Health, where he writes Sexplain It. He is the co-author of the book Men’s Health: Best. Sex. Ever. Zach’s latest book is titled Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto. Some of the topics we discuss include: How are apps like Grindr different from apps that cater more to a heterosexual audience, like Tinder? What are some of the ways in which these apps have had positive effects on queer men and the gay community? Did Grindr really kill the gay bar? Do hookup apps make it easier to get the kind of sex you want? How can we reduce toxic behavior on hookup apps? How can individuals use these apps in healthy ways that don't take a toll on their mental health? Content advisory: This episode contains very frank discussion of sexual matters. Check out more about Zach on his website, and be sure to follow him on Twitter and Instagram @ZacharyZane_. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

While the term “safe sex” might imply that there's a perfectly safe way to have sex, there’s always going to be some degree of risk, both physical and emotional. Whenever you have sex, you’re making a choice about the level of risk you’re willing to take on in order to experience the pleasures of sex. Everyone has a different risk tolerance, though, which is why we all make different choices. However, we have a tendency to shame everyone who has a different risk tolerance, whether it's higher or lower than our own. This sex shaming hurts everyone because it makes us less likely to talk openly about sex. So today we're going to talk about shedding sexual shame and feeling free and empowered to make your own sexual decisions. I am joined by Zachary Zane, a Brooklyn-based sex writer. He is the sex and relationship columnist for Men’s Health, where he writes Sexplain It. He is the co-author of the book Men’s Health: Best. Sex. Ever. Zach’s latest book is titled Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why have men largely been left out of the sex-positivity conversation? And why is it important for everyone to be involved? How might the phrase "safe sex" be misleading when thinking about sexual risk? Should we be talking about "risk-aware sex" instead? Why do some people view STIs as an acceptable risk, while others view them as unacceptable? Why is it important to reduce stigma around STIs? Why is sex shaming so prevalent, even within the queer community? Content advisory: This episode contains very frank discussion of sexual matters. Check out more about Zach on his website, and be sure to follow him on Twitter and Instagram @ZacharyZane_ Thank you to our sponsors! Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How do we prevent sex crimes from happening in the first place? Today, we're going to talk about some of the things that do (and don't) work. This is the second episode in a two-part series about sexual offending. In the previous show, we discussed what motivates people to sexually offend, so now that we have a sense of that, let's discuss issues of treatment and prevention. Dr. Michael Seto is back for this episode. He is a registered clinical and forensic psychologist and a research director with the Royal Ottawa Health Care Group. He is also a Professor in Psychiatry at the University of Ottawa. Michael has published extensively on the subject of sexual offending, which includes the books Pedophilia and Sexual Offending Against Children and Internet Sex Offending. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why punishment isn't enough when it comes to stopping sexual offending. Whether sex offender registries are an effective deterrent to sex crimes. The most effective treatment approaches for reducing rates of sexual re-offending. Whether we can get people at risk of committing sex crimes to voluntarily seek treatment before committing an offense. How training in the fiend of psychology can be improved to prevent sexual violence. The role of comprehensive sex education in preventing sexual violence. Make sure to follow Michael on Twitter @MCSeto and learn more about his research here. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Why do people commit sex crimes? We often hear that they're not really motivated by sex and, instead, that they're about power and control. However, it's more complex than that, and understanding that complexity is key to preventing these crimes from happening in the first place. So let's talk about. This is the first episode in a two-part series on the psychology of sexual offending and what we can do to stop it. Today, we'll focus on the why question. In the next show, we'll focus on prevention. I am joined by Dr. Michael Seto, a registered clinical and forensic psychologist and a research director with the Royal Ottawa Health Care Group. He is also a Professor in Psychiatry at the University of Ottawa. Michael has published extensively on the subject of sexual offending, which includes the books Pedophilia and Sexual Offending Against Children and Internet Sex Offending. Some of the topics we discuss include: How common is sexual offending? What are some of the common challenges in studying sexual offending? How does sexual violence relate to sex, power, and control? What is the Motivation-Facilitation Model, and how can it help us to understand the psychology behind sex crimes? How is sexual fantasy related to sexual offending? How common is it for sex offenders to reoffend? And can we predict who is most likely to do so? Make sure to follow Michael on Twitter @MCSeto and learn more about his research here. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The stereotype we often hear about singles in the popular media is that they’re sad. In reality, however, a lot of them are thriving and living their best lives, which we talked all about in the previous episode. But being single isn't sunshine and rainbows for everyone, though. For some, being single just sucks. So let's talk about it. In this episode, we're going take a look at when and why people struggle with single life and the factors that can make it a negative experience, including social exclusion, attachment anxiety, social pressure to be in a relationship, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Yuthika Girme, an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Simon Fraser University in Canada, who has conducted extensive research on singlehood. Some of the topics we discuss include: In what ways are singles stigmatized or "singled out" in modern society? What is the role of family and culture in shaping people's experiences with being single? How is singlehood experienced similarly or differently for men and women? How does sexual orientation factor into experiences with singlehood? How does attachment style impact one's feelings about being single? Check out  the SECURE lab to learn more about Yuthika's research, and be sure to follow her on Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The number of American adults living single has been on the rise for years. Part of this increase has been driven by a growing number of folks who simply prefer the single life. And, for them, being single can be awesome. At the same time, though, some singles don't want to be single and they're pretty miserable. So let's talk about the good, bad, and ugly of singlehood. I have a two-part series for you on what it's like to be single today. In this episode we’re going to explore the positive side of singlehood and, next time, we’re going to explore the negative side. I am joined by Dr. Yuthika Girme, an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Simon Fraser University in Canada. Her research focuses on reconciling the complexities associated with singlehood and relationship experiences with the aim of fostering security and well-being. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why have relationship researchers historically downplayed the experiences of singles? What are some of the reasons people might choose to be single? What do they see as the benefits? Why are older singles more satisfied than younger singles? When are singles most likely to be sexually satisfied? Why might someone prioritize having friendships (or platonic life partners) over romantic relationships? How do our personal (and cultural) values shape the experience of singlehood? Check out  the SECURE lab to learn more about Yuthika's research, and be sure to follow her on Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In the previous episode, we talked all about the pelvic floor, including what it is, the important role it plays in sexual function, as well as what you need to know about Kegel exercises. Today, we’re going to be continuing our conversation on pelvic health by exploring the world of pelvic floor physical therapy. Pelvic floor therapy can potentially help to resolve everything from painful intercourse in women to erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation in men. So how do you know whether pelvic floor physical therapy is right for you, and what does this kind of therapy actually look like? For today’s episode, I am joined once again by Dr. Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas, an experienced pelvic floor physical therapist who works with patients of all genders and ages with pelvic health diagnoses. She is known for spreading evidence-based pelvic health information in humorous and relatable ways on social media through @ThePelvicDanceFloor, which has over 1 million combined followers between Instagram and Tiktok. Some of the topics we discuss include: Who is pelvic floor physical therapy for? How do you know if it's right for you? How do you find a provider, and is this kind of therapy usually covered by insurance? What does a typical therapy session consist of? What sexual health issues can pelvic floor physical therapy help with? Beyond Kegels, what other kinds of exercises can help with pelvic health issues? Make sure to check out Alicia on TikTok and Instagram @ThePelvicDanceFloor. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Put a "ring" on it with FirmTech's Performance Ring, which is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The pelvic floor is a super important set of muscles that plays a vital role in sexual, reproductive, urinary, and bowel function. However, most of us don't know all that much about it, which is a shame because paying attention to your pelvic health has the potential to improve your overall health and give you a boost in the bedroom, too. So, let's talk about what everyone needs to know about their pelvic floor! For today’s episode, I am joined by Dr. Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas, an experienced pelvic floor physical therapist who works with patients of all genders and ages with pelvic health diagnoses. She is known for spreading evidence-based pelvic health information in humorous and relatable ways on social media through @ThePelvicDanceFloor, which has over 1 million combined followers between Instagram and Tiktok. Some of the topics we discuss include: What is the pelvic floor anyway ? What are the most common pelvic floor issues, and how are they similar or different across genders? When (and for whom) are Kegel exercises a good idea? What's the right way to do Kegels? How do pelvic floor issues vary across the lifespan? What are some common myths and misconceptions about the pelvic floor? Make sure to check out Alicia on TikTok and Instagram @ThePelvicDanceFloor. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people struggle with sexual initiation. In fact, this is one of the most common topics that readers and listeners ask me about! So why is sexual initiation so hard, and what can we do to make it easier? Let's talk about it! For today’s show, I am joined once again by Vanessa Marin, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy, as well as Xander Marin, a self-described "regular dude" who left a cushy career in tech once he realized it was more fun to talk about sex with his wife all day. They co-host the "Pillow Talks" podcast and co-authored the new book, Sex Talks: Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why does initiating sex feel so hard for people? What should you do (and what should you avoid) when it comes to sexual initiation? What are the six different sexual initiation styles? How can individuals navigate sex when they have different initiation styles? How do you say "no" to a partner's initiation attempt without hurting their feelings? What are some things you can do to encourage your partner to initiate sex more? Make sure to check out Vanessa and Xander's website, and visit their Youtube, Instagram, and TikTok to learn more. And be sure to get a copy of Sex Talks! Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Put a "ring" on it with FirmTech's Performance Ring, which is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When it comes to navigating romantic relationships, the struggle is real. So why are relationships so hard? And is it possible to make things a little easier? Let's talk about it! Today's episode is all about "love signals," or the signs you should be paying attention to. Specifically, we're going to discuss relationship red flags and green flags, how to avoid moving too fast or too slow, how to know when someone is genuinely interested in you, and how to avoid sabotaging your own chances at love and happiness. I am joined once again by Dr. Morgan Anderson, who is a clinical psychologist, author of the new book Love Magnet, and host of the podcast Let’s Get Vulnerable. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why do we often struggle with romantic relationships more than other types of relationship in life? How do you find the middle ground between moving "too fast" and "too slow" when you're dating someone new? What are some relationship red, green, and yellow flags to pay attention to? How can you tell if someone is just being friendly or if they're flirting? How can you drop the big expectations while also still upholding your standards? Why is it important to approach dating with curiosity? Make sure to check out Morgan's website, follow her on Instagram, and subscribe to her YouTube channel to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of year-round pleasure with Beducated! Their library of online courses will teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2308-lehmiller  If you love the science of sex, consider becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. The Kinsey Institute is the world's premiere  research organization on sex and relationships, and you can help continue the legacy of Alfred Kinsey by visiting kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation that helps support ongoing research projects that make an impact in the world of sex research. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

So much sex advice can be boiled down to just one thing: communication. But how exactly should you communicate about sex? And what are the things you need to communicate about? In this episode, we're going to discuss the five "sex talks" that partners in every relationship should have. We’ll explore how to get started, tips for navigating each of these conversations, as well as what to do when a conversation about sex turns into a fight. For today’s show, I am joined by Vanessa Marin, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy, as well as Xander Marin, a self-described "regular dude" who left a cushy career in tech once he realized it was more fun to talk about sex with his wife all day. They co-host the "Pillow Talks" podcast and co-authored the new book, Sex Talks: Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. Some of the topics we discuss include: How to start acknowledging sex in conversation. How partners can successfully communicate about sex and build connection with one another. How someone can identify their own sexual desires and share those with a partner. How individuals can practice talking about pleasure so that they're more confident when expressing their desires. Why asking a partner "what's your fantasy?" might be the wrong place to start when trying to explore new things in the bedroom. Make sure to check out Vanessa and Xander's website, and visit their Youtube, Instagram, and TikTok to learn more. And be sure to get a copy of Sex Talks! Thank you to our sponsors! Put a "ring" on it with FirmTech's Performance Ring, which is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There’s a pretty big gap between fantasy and reality. In my own research, I've found that about 80% of adults say they have a fantasy they'd like to act out at some point, but just about 20% have ever done so before. I've also found that only about half of adults say they’ve ever even shared this fantasy with a partner. So how can we get more comfortable talking about our fantasies and incorporating them into our sex lives? In this episode, we're going to discuss what you need to know! I am joined once again by Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a sex researcher, speaker, writer, and consultant. She runs a course called Open Smarter, which helps people figure out what type of relationship is right for them using science-based assessments of their unique personality. In our last conversation, Dr. Zhana and I discussed a report released by Ashley Madison called Unbound Love: Sex, Fantasy, and Desire that offers some insight into what people today fantasize about. Be sure to check out that episode as well! Some of the topics we discuss today include: How can we unburden ourselves of sexual shame when it's standing in the way of our fantasies? How do you communicate about sexual fantasies with a partner in a healthy way? How do you deal with situations where you and your partner have totally different fantasies? What kinds of things do you need to think about and consider before acting on a fantasy? What should you do if acting on a fantasy doesn't work out the way you thought it would? Make sure to check out Zhana's website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @DrZhana to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of year-round pleasure with Beducated! Their library of online courses will teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2307-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of us have had the experience of dating the "wrong" person over and over again. It's just one unhealthy relationship after another. So why is it so common for people to find themselves in these repetitive relationship cycles? It's often the result of our attachment style. In this episode, we're going to dive into attachment theory to help you better understand the four main attachment styles, how to identify your own and that of the people you’re dating, as well as how to move in the direction of more secure attachment to break a cycle of unfulfilling relationships. For today’s show, I am joined by Dr. Morgan Anderson, who is a clinical psychologist, author of the new book Love Magnet, and host of the podcast Let’s Get Vulnerable. Some of the topics we discuss include: What do each of the four attachment styles look like in dating? How do you know which attachment style you have? Is it possible to have more than one? How might someone work on cultivating a more secure attachment style? How can you tell what someone else's attachment style is? Can relationships work between people who have different attachment styles? Discover your own attachment style with Dr. Morgan's quiz here! Make sure to check out Morgan's website, follow her on Instagram, and subscribe to her YouTube channel to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! Put a ring on it for Valentine's Day with FirmTech's Performance Ring, which is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It’s common for people in long-term relationships to get out of synch when it comes to sex. This can happen for a ton of reasons, from changes in health and hormones to relationship conflict to stress and so much more. But no matter the reason, it’s never too late to do a sex life "reset!" If sex has decreased, disappeared, or become less satisfying in your relationship, this episode is for you. We’re going to discuss how to identify your desires, how to communicate them to a partner, how to build up sexual self-confidence, and how to start conversations about sexual problems and difficulties in a healthy and productive way. I am joined once again by Dr. Lanae St.John, also known as The MamaSutra. She is a board-certified sexologist, certified sex coach, and former professor of human sexuality. Lanae is also the author of Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk."  This is Lanae's second appearance on the show, so be sure to check out our previous conversation, which focused on talking to your kids about sex. Some of the topics we discuss today include: What are some of the most common reasons partners get out of synch when it comes to sex? What are some ways we can identify our own sexual desires? How can partners have productive conversations about sexual desire? What are some things you can do to build up sexual self-confidence? Check it out! To learn more about Lanae, visit her website "The Mamastura," and follow her on Instagram @themamasutra. Thank you to our sponsors! Don't know what to get for Valentine's Day? Give the gift of year-round pleasure with Beducated! Their library of online courses will teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a Valentine's subscription and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2306-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How do you feel about your sexual fantasies? Research tells us that many people feel alone in their sexual turn-ons, thinking that their fantasies are strange or unusual. In fact, this is why one of the most common questions I get asked as a sex educator is: "are my fantasies normal?" As you’ll see in this episode, odds are that the things you’re fantasizing about are likely quite similar to the kinds of things that most other people are fantasizing about too, which means there’s no reason to be ashamed of your turn-ons. For today’s show, I am joined by Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a sex researcher, speaker, writer, and consultant. She teaches human sexuality courses at New York University and also runs a course called Open Smarter, which helps people figure out what type of relationship is right for them using science-based assessments of their unique personality. Zhana is here to discuss a report recently released by Ashley Madison called Unbound Love: Sex, Fantasy, and Desire, which is based on the results of a survey conducted by YouGov in collaboration with Dr. Zhana. Some of the specific topics we discuss include: What are the origins of the Unbound Love project and who participated in the survey? What was the most common fantasy that emerged in the survey, and why is it so popular? Is it normal for people in romantic relationships to fantasize about someone other than their partner? Why is kink appealing to so many people? How do our sexual fantasies differ across gender and age? Make sure to check out Zhana's website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @DrZhana to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! Put a ring on it for Valentine's Day with FirmTech's Performance Ring, which is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

There’s an interesting paradox in modern relationships where, if there’s too much jealousy, that can cause a lot of problems. At the same time, though, if there isn't enough jealousy, that can also lead to problems. So let's talk about this complicated emotion. In today's episode, we're going to explore the good, bad, and ugly of jealousy, how to cope with this emotion in healthy ways, and things you can do to help a partner who might be especially prone to jealousy. I am joined once again by Dr. Joli Hamilton, a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT Certified Sex Educator. Joli co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast and her academic research focuses on how jealousy impacts our most intimate relationships. Our previous conversation was all about creative monogamy, so be sure to listen to that episode as well. Some of the topics we discuss today include: How is jealousy different from other emotions, such as envy? What are some examples of the ways jealousy can benefit a relationship? How can jealousy harm a relationship? How can someone learn to manage jealousy in healthier ways? Is it possible to get rid of jealous feelings? Are there any strategies to help a partner better cope with jealousy? If you're interested in practicing creative monogamy in your relationships, Joli has a free audio guide on bringing up the topic with a partner. She also offers a Jealousy MasterClass lecture. To learn more about these resources, visit jolihamilton.com Thank you to our sponsors! Don't know what to get for Valentine's Day? Give the gift of year-round pleasure with Beducated! Their library of online courses will teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a Valentine's subscription and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2305-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Despite the fact that I write and talk about sex all day, I don’t actually watch a lot of movies and TV shows about sex because it often feels too much like work! However, every so often a film or show about sex comes along that I really enjoy because it's both entertaining and gets the story right. And the new documentary A Sexplanation, billed as "a comedic sex ed documentary about the universal search for love, connection and self-acceptance," does just that. For today's episode, I am joined by independent filmmaker Alex Liu, creator of the award-winning documentary A Sexplanation. In this film, Alex travels across the United States and Canada speaking with experts and everyday people to open up healthy conversations about sex and reduce sexual shame. It covers a lot of ground, including sex education, masturbation, porn, fantasy, religion, and more. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What was it like for Alex to give viewers an intimate look at his own sex life and coming out journey as part of this film? Why Alex included frank discussions about sex with his parents in the film---and how that changed their relationship. How Alex got a Catholic priest to come on camera and talk about sex---and how this conversation completely changed Alex's view on sex and spirituality. How people can learn to become more vulnerable and have more meaningful conversations about sex. How porn is affecting us as sexual beings. How sex education needs to change to better serve the next generation. Make sure to watch A Sexplanation, and follow Alex on Twitter @alexanderxliu Thank you to our sponsors! "Ring" in the New Year with FirmTech! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Enhance your pleasure with OMGYES! OMGYES provides super-honest videos, animations, and how-to's based on the largest research study into women's pleasure, done in partnership with the Kinsey Institute. Get 33% by visiting OMGYES.com/justin. Clinicians and therapists can get a free personal membership by visiting OMGYES.com/doctors.  The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Many of us have a mold for what romantic relationships “should” look like, and then we try to make our own relationships fit that. But, no matter how hard we try, sometimes it just doesn’t fit. And that's because we're going about relationships all wrong. Instead of building relationships on a set of things you think you’re “supposed” to do, we need to build them on the actual wants and needs of the partners. One way you can give your relationship a custom design is with the concept of “creative monogamy,” which is all about finding the right relationship style and structure that works for you. I am joined today by Dr. Joli Hamilton, a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT Certified Sex Educator. Joli co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast and her academic research focuses on how jealousy impacts our most intimate relationships. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why does monogamy seem to be so difficult for so many people? What is "creative monogamy" anyway? Where do you start when it comes to building a creatively monogamous relationship? For individuals who have developed a creative monogamy approach to their relationship, what might that look like? How often should people revisit their relationship agreements? How can someone in a monogamous relationship effectively communicate with their partner about wanting to change their relationship structure? If you're interested in practicing creative monogamy in your relationships, Joli has a free audio guide on bringing up the topic with a partner. Be sure to check out that resource (and more!) over on jolihamilton.com Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2304-lehmiller The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the most popular articles on the Sex and Psychology blog is about the psychology of facials, a sexual act in which one person ejaculates on another person’s face. This behavior is one of many kinds of performative sexuality often seen in porn. Facials in particular have sparked a lot of debate because some people see this behavior as inherently degrading, especially when a woman is on the receiving end of it. So in today's episode, we're going to dive into the psychology of facials and performative sexuality more broadly. In addition, we'll explore how performative sex intersects with porn, sexual self-esteem, and pleasure, as well as what to do when you feel constrained by performative expectations in the bedroom. I am joined once again by Dr. Megan Maas, an assistant professor in Human Development & Family Studies at Michigan State University. Her award-winning research, recognized by the American Psychological Association, and funded by the National Institute of Health, focuses on media impacts on adolescents’ sexual and mental health. Some of the topics we discuss include: How is sexual self-confidence related to both giving and receiving facials? How is porn shaping the way people approach sex? When and why did facials become so popular? How does being in an altered state (such as being under the influence of drugs or alcohol) relate to performative sex? What is the link between prior experience with sexual victimization and performative sex? How can you break free of expectations about performative sex if they're interfering with your pleasure? Be sure to check out Megan's website to learn more about her, and follow her on Twitter @MeganKMaas. Thank you to our sponsors! "Ring" in the New Year with FirmTech! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Enhance your pleasure with OMGYES! OMGYES provides super-honest videos, animations, and how-to's based on the largest research study into women's pleasure, done in partnership with the Kinsey Institute. Get 33% by visiting OMGYES.com/justin. Clinicians and therapists can get a free personal membership by visiting OMGYES.com/doctors.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the key principles embedded in many models of sexual consent is that consent must be specific. In other words, you need to know exactly what it is that you’re saying yes to. This also means you need to know in advance what it is that you want. However, we often don’t know what we want when it comes to sex, which makes navigating this issue rather tricky for everyone, but especially for women. Consenting to that which is unknown can be highly erotic, but it can be really risky, especially when a partner’s ideas about what you might want turn out to be wrong. My guest today is Katherine Angel, author of the internationally acclaimed book, Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again. Her previous books include Daddy Issues and Unmastered: A Book on Desire, Most Difficult to Tell. She is a Senior Lecturer in the English department and a Fellow of the Institute of Humanities and Social Sciences at Queen Mary, University of London. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why isn't consent enough when it comes to having good sex? How do individuals navigate expressing their desires when they might not know what they want, and also when there's a risk of being shamed or judged for sharing them? What does it really mean to have good sex? Is it a realistic goal for sex to always be good? A lot of sex advice comes down to "be vulnerable." But vulnerability can be terrifying to some. So how do we navigate this? How does sex ed need to change to help people grapple with the complexities of sex? Click here to learn more about Katherine. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2303-lehmiller The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.