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Sex and Psychology Podcast
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Sex and Psychology Podcast

Author: Dr. Justin Lehmiller

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The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level. Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com
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Physical intimacy is one of the keys to maintaining healthy and satisfying relationships. But I’m not just talking about sex. Non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more so! In today’s show, we’re going to explore why touch is so powerful and tips for introducing more touch into your relationships. We’ll also discuss why, paradoxically, intimate partners often retreat from touch at the times they need it the most—and how to deal with this. I am joined once again by Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, the co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: Why do we need touch, and why are so many of us “touch-starved?” How can we open the door to intimate touch when we feel stressed? How can lovers experience more affection and physical intimacy in their relationships? What are some things that people can do to become better at both giving and receiving touch? To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Erotic Touch Mastery course. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Most people say that they find oral sex to be a pleasurable activity, but that doesn’t mean that people always enjoy giving or receiving it. A quick search on social media reveals countless posts from people reporting on bad experiences with oral sex, so let’s talk about how to have better oral. In today’s show, we’re going to explore tips and techniques for amazing oral sex. We’ll also discuss what to do if you find yourself getting bored giving oral sex, how to make sixty-nining fun, and so much more. My guests today are Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, the co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: Why is the idea that there’s just one perfect recipe for oral sex a myth? How do you deal with common roadblocks that interfere with your ability to enjoy performing oral sex, such as boredom or discomfort? What are some new positions or approaches that can elevate your oral experiences? What should you do if oral sex feels like it has become a duty or obligation instead of something you love to do? What are the essential factors that make oral sex great? To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Oral Sex Mastery course. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Did you know that July 31 is National Orgasm Day? That’s right—there’s actually a holiday dedicated to the big O! Unfortunately, we don’t get the day off of work, but we’re going to celebrate anyway. In commemoration of National Orgasm Day’s impending arrival, we’re going to be talking all about orgasms today. In this show, we’re going to revisit one of my favorite conversations on the topic: my interview with Dr. Barry Komisaruk which originally aired back in 2022. Barry is a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at Rutgers University-Newark. He has published more than 180 research articles and has co-authored and edited five books, including “The Science of Orgasm,” which has been published in 7 languages. Some of the topics we explore include: How is an orgasm defined scientifically? What’s really happening in the brain during an orgasm? Do orgasms feel the same or different across genders? Why do some people experience orgasms from nipple or other non-genital stimulation? Can you teach yourself to have multiple orgasms? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest
Social media is increasingly where people are turning in order to learn about sexual health, from dealing with sex problems to coping with infertility. But is it giving us accurate information? Not so much. In today’s show, we’re going to tackle sexual health misinformation on TikTok and Instagram. We’re going to dive into what the science really says about popular sexual health claims on social media and talk about how to use these platforms in a more mindful way. I am joined once again by Dr. Justin Dubin, a Urologist who specializes in men’s health at Memorial Healthcare System in South Florida. Dr. Dubin is passionate about men’s health and education and is co-host of the podcast Man Up: A Doctor’s Guide to Men’s Health. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: How can social media be helpful (and harmful) to our sexual health? Why do the most popular social media posts often contain the least accurate information? What are some common things people get wrong about infertility and sexual dysfunction on social media? What is “semen retention” and why is there so much bogus information about it on social media? How can we become more informed consumers of social media? You can learn more about Dr. Dubin’s work here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
A growing number of men seem to be in a panic about their testosterone levels. Social media platforms are full of posts from guys who are convinced that they don’t have enough of this hormone in their bodies and that their sex and dating lives are suffering because of it. The result is that more and more men are seeking to boost their testosterone, and companies are eager to cash in on this by selling hormone supplements. But do these guys really have low testosterone in the first place? Are some of them pushing their hormones to dangerous levels? Today’s show is all about what men need to know about testosterone. My guest is Dr. Justin Dubin, a Urologist who specializes in men’s health at Memorial Healthcare System in South Florida. Dr. Dubin is passionate about men’s health and education with the goal of improving the lives of men and their partners. He co-hosts the podcast Man Up: A Doctor’s Guide to Men’s Health. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What’s fueling all of this anxiety over testosterone levels in men? What percentage of men actually have low testosterone? Are there any risks of having too much testosterone in the body? How can men maintain healthy testosterone levels as they age? Is there any truth to the claim that abstaining from masturbation boosts testosterone? You can find more about Dr. Dubin’s work here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
For today’s show, we’re diving into more listener questions! I’m going to answer two questions that popped up in my podcast voicemail that I thought were really interesting. The first deals with falling asleep during sex and/or foreplay. Is that normal? And what are the reasons why that might happen? The second question involves whether premature orgasm is something that only men can experience, or if it can happen to women as well. So what does the research say on it? How many women experience this, and is there anything they can do if it’s interfering with their pleasure? Let’s talk about it! Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. Make sure to check out our previous episode where we respond to listener questions as well, which you can find here.  *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Stuck in a dating rut? It might be time for a new approach! In today’s show, we’re going to learn how to master the art of mindful dating, which involves taking a more intentional approach to relationship development. We’re going to explore the six pillars of mindful dating and how to put them into practice. We will also discuss tips for cultivating deeper connections and ways to increase your chances of finding lasting happiness. I am joined once again by Marie Thouin, PhD, a dating and relationship coach and author of the new book What Is Compersion? Understanding Positive Empathy in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships. Marie is the founder of Love InSight, a mindful dating and relationship coaching practice. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What does it mean to engage in mindful dating? Why is it important to clarify your “dating vision” when looking to find a partner? How do you build an empowering self-concept, and why is this important to do when dating? When using dating apps, what does “mindful swiping” look like? How can you learn to communicate in order to connect? You can check out Marie’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
When you take pleasure in your partner’s pleasure or happiness, this is known as compersion. It’s a form of positive empathy that many people in non-monogamous relationships experience. However, some people seem to have an easier time feeling compersion than others. So can it be learned? And should compersion always be a goal in non-monogamy? Let’s talk about it! My guest is Marie Thouin, PhD, a dating and relationship coach and author of the new book: What Is Compersion? Understanding Positive Empathy in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships. Marie is the founder of Love InSight, a mindful dating and relationship coaching practice where she supports people of all backgrounds and relational orientations to create intentional and vibrant love lives. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: Why does compersion seem to come easier to some people? Does our ability to experience compersion change with age? Can you learn how to feel compersion if you’ve never felt it before? What are some different approaches to learning compersion? You can check out Marie’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
It turns out that many of the things we think we know about sex aren’t entirely true. So let’s set the record straight and explore what we do and don’t know about sex and the human body. For today’s show, we’re revisiting one of my favorite conversations of all time, my interview with Dr. Lisa Dawn Hamilton that originally aired back in episode 53. Dr. Hamilton is an associate professor of Psychology at Mount Allison University in Sackville and host of the podcast “Do We Know Things?” Some of the topics we explore include: What do we actually know about the G-spot? Do we know what the average penis size really is? Does peeing after sex actually prevent UTIs? Does pubic hair grooming affect STI risk? Can men have multiple orgasms too? To learn more about Lisa Dawn and her work, visit doweknowthings.com. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
From the vampires and werewolves in Twilight to Bigfoot to the beast from Beauty and the Beast, it turns out that a lot of people are turned on by the idea of getting it on with a monster. But why is that? Where do these attractions come from in the first place? In this episode, we’re going to explore the rich psychology that helps to explain why monstrous, mythical, and scary creatures can sometimes become turn-ons. I am joined once again by Ella Gallego, a researcher, writer, and the founder of the Monstrous Desire Study. The study examines the cultural history of erotic monsters around the globe based on research data from over 2,200 respondents. Ella was my guest in the previous episode, in which we explored people’s biggest monster crushes. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What physical or other attributes of monsters do people find arousing? To what extent do monster fantasies overlap with interest in kink and BDSM? What is the role of fear in sexual arousal? Why do monster fantasies seem to be particularly appealing to women and LGBTQ+ folks? How important is it for us to understand where our sexual fantasies come from? You can check out Ella’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
When I studied the sex fantasies of thousands of Americans for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that 33% of adults had fantasized about a monster or mythical creature before, such as a vampire, werewolf, or demon. Clearly, some people find monsters to be seriously sexy. So why is that? I have a two-part series for you on monstrous desire. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about who people’s biggest monster crushes are and explore the history of sexy monsters in the media. In the next episode, we’re going to get into the psychology behind attraction to monsters. My guest is Ella Gallego, a researcher, writer, and the founder of the Monstrous Desire Study. The study examines the cultural history of erotic monsters around the globe and presents research data from over 2,200 respondents. Some of the topics we discuss include: What does it mean to be a “monster f*cker?” How long have people been attracted to monsters? Which specific monsters are people into? Why are monsters often depicted in the media in erotic ways? You can check out Ella’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Sex toys and sexual wellness products for men have long been stigmatized, but it’s time to change that. There are numerous products on the market that have the potential to help men improve their sexual health and performance, and that includes penis pumps! In today’s episode, we’re going to do a deep dive into these devices. We’ll talk about how penis pumps can help in terms of improving sexual self-confidence and erectile health, how to use them correctly and safely, whether they can make your penis bigger, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Lance Frank, a pelvic health physical therapist who runs Flex PT ATL in Midtown, Atlanta. His practice focuses on providing services to patients managing sexual health and intimacy concerns, pelvic pain, and urinary or bowel dysfunction. He also talks extensively about men’s pelvic health on social media, and you can follow him at @lanceinyourpants. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What is a penis pump anyway, and how does it work? What are the benefits of using these devices? Compared to other erectile enhancers (e.g., medications, cock rings), what are the advantages of a pump? What are best practices for using a penis pump? What should someone consider when purchasing a pump? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
In recent years, the pelvic floor is a topic that has received increased attention in the popular media. However, discussions of pelvic health tend to focus mostly on women. Male pelvic health is important for us to talk about, too, so that’s what we’re going to be discussing today.  In this show, we’re going to speak with a pelvic doc for the lowdown on why we need to pay attention to male pelvic health. We’re also going to do a deep dive into Kegel exercises for men. My guest is Dr. Lance Frank, a pelvic health physical therapist who runs Flex PT ATL in Midtown, Atlanta. His practice focuses on providing services to patients managing sexual health and intimacy concerns, pelvic pain, and urinary or bowel dysfunction. He also talks extensively about men’s pelvic health on social media, and you can follow him at @lanceinyourpants. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What is a pelvic health physical therapist? What’s so important about male pelvic health? What are the potential benefits (and risks) of Kegel exercises for men? How do you know whether Kegel exercises are right for you? How do men need to think differently about their pelvic health? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
When it comes to having sex, there are a lot of “rules” that what we’re supposed to follow. But many of those rules contradict one another, making it hard to know what to do. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss whether we should even be following the “rules” of sex in the first place. We’re also going to explore how to increase your sexual self-understanding, as well as tips for having better sex. I am joined once again by Todd Baratz, a licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist with an innovative approach to mental health and relationships. He runs the popular social media account @yourdiagnonsense and is author of the new book How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What are the six keys to good sex? What does it mean to approach sex as a performance, and how can we avoid this? Why is it actually a good thing to be a little bit selfish when it comes to sex? How can we learn to better assert our sexual desires and communicate boundaries? You can visit Todd’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
A lot of the relationship advice littering every corner of the internet tries to distill love into a simple set of “rules.” It’d be nice if things were that easy, but they aren’t! It’s time to ditch the so-called “rules” of relationships because they might be getting in the way of our ability to find love. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to approach relationships in a way that’s more likely to lead to lasting happiness, and how we can do it without losing our minds. My guest is Todd Baratz, a licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist with an innovative approach to mental health and relationships. He runs the popular social media account @yourdiagnonsense and is author of the new book How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What are some examples of really bad relationship advice? When is relationship self-help actually helpful, and when is if harmful? Are our expectations for relationships today unrealistic? Are there any universal “rules” for healthy relationships? You can visit Todd’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Anal sex (and how to make it pleasurable) is one of those topics that people usually have to figure out all on their own. So think of today’s episode as the all-you-need-to-know guide to good anal sex. Some of the topics we’ll explore include what you need to know about anal douching, how to choose the right lube, tips for preparing and relaxing so that you can experience pleasure instead of pain, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Evan Goldstein, who is the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a leading private practice specializing in an elite standard of sexual health and wellness care for the gay community. He is also co-founder of the sexual wellness brand Future Method and author of the new book Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: How can paying attention to diet and nutrition help pave the way for more pleasurable anal sex? What do people need to know about anal douching in order to optimize health and pleasure? Why is dilating an important part of preparation before anal sex? What are the best kinds of lube for anal sex? What are some good beginner tips and techniques for penetration? You can visit Evan’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Anal sex is something humans have been practicing for thousands of years. However, is has long been shrouded in taboos, which has led to the proliferation of a lot of myths and misconceptions. In today’s show, we’ll be discussing common things people get wrong about anal sex. Some of the topics we’ll explore include the myth of anal sex as “gay sex,” whether there’s any truth to the stereotype that anal sex roles correspond to power and gender roles, and whether there’s any truth to claims that anal sex causes long-term damage to the body. My guest is Dr. Evan Goldstein, who is the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a leading private practice specializing in an elite standard of sexual health and wellness care for the gay community. He is also co-founder of the sexual wellness brand Future Method and author of the new book Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: Why is psychology an important aspect of pleasurable anal sex? Who is having anal sex? How risky is anal sex? Is receptive anal sex necessarily a “submissive” activity? What are the biggest things people get wrong about anal sex? You can visit Evan’s website to learn more about him and his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
It’s Masturbation Month, so today’s episode is going to be all about self-pleasure! The origins of Masturbation Month date back to 1995, when US Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders stated that masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality and something that should perhaps be taught in sex ed. Elders’ comments set off a political firestorm that ultimately led to her being fired. To mark her unjust dismissal, May 14 was declared National Masturbation Day, which was later expanded to include the entire month of May. For this show, we’re revisiting some of my favorite clips on the history and science of self-pleasure. My guests include Dr. Eric Sprankle, Marie Aoyama from TENGA, professor Carole Hooven, urologist Joshua Gonzalez, sleep researcher Michele Lastella, and sex therapist Emily Jamea. Some of the questions this fascinating group of folks addresses for us include: How have views on masturbation changed over time? What do people fantasize about when they masturbate? Does abstaining from masturbation boost testosterone? Can avoiding sex and masturbation actually increase athletic performance? How can we have a healthier relationship with self-pleasure? Can masturbation help us to fall asleep faster? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
For today’s show, we’re diving into listener questions! I’m going to answer two questions that popped up in my podcast voicemail that I thought were really interesting. The first deals with sensory changes that happen upon reaching orgasm. It seems that some people experience temporary sensory disruptions following climax, including changes in hearing and vision. What’s that all about? The second question involves what to do if you really want to have casual sex, but you seem to struggle with it because you always end up getting too attached. Is there anything you can do about that? Let’s talk about it! Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Modern psychology has a very complicated relationship with gender. Gender differences have become one of the most contentious areas in the field, and it seems like psychology isn’t entirely sure what to do with men anymore. This is especially true for heterosexual men, who are often viewed through a pathological lens. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into some controversy. Some of the topics we’ll discuss include why men are often blamed for their own sexual problems, why it’s important to acknowledge gender differences in communication styles, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Stephen Snyder, an AASECT certified sex therapist, relationship therapist, and sexual medicine specialist. Dr. Snyder is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City and author of the book LOVE WORTH MAKING: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship. Some of the questions we address include: How have the dynamics of heterosexual relationships changed over time? Why does the field of sex therapy have such a complicated relationship with men and male sexuality? What are some of the key differences in sexual psychology that are important for people to understand? You can learn more about Stephen and his work on his website here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s best-selling penis pump, with over one million satisfied customers. The benefits of using Xersizer include improved erection quality, more staying power, and more intense orgasms. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Comments (7)

Amanda Osuna

I actually have a great orgasm alone way beter than with a partner. It can be very intense. however there are times when I feel no stimulation at all and unable to climax. Great show I always learn alot , keep up the good work.

Nov 14th
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P M

Men are not flocking to Andrew Tate because they feel rejected by society. They're doing it because the patriarchy has raised them to hate women. Now that women are starting to push back on all bullshit (as they've always done), these men who already hated women flock to Andrew Tate because he encourages their pre-existing misogynistic ways of thinking..

Oct 27th
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Ainslie crawford

only 12 mins in and have already learnt a LOT that I should be thinking about

Feb 21st
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Sara MacKay

great episode! gave me some good ideas!

Sep 5th
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Kaveh Karami

such a great and informative conversation, love your work as always

Jun 4th
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Sanne Høybye

Love Dr. Lehmiller! As a psychologist I m learning so much about human natur in a fun an easy going way :)

May 20th
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Shelle M

Yes definitely get that moment of clarity. You took the words out of my mouth 'clarity' I was thinking as you started describing that. Definitely a happy brain moment.

Jan 22nd
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