Struggle Care

Honestly, this is a topic for everyone. Today’s show applies to all of us, whether we are parents, future parents, or someone who needs to heal their inner child. I’m excited to be joined by Rachel Nielson, the host and founder of the 3in30 Podcast. She interviewed me on a recent episode, and she’s returning the favor by joining me for this important conversation. Join us! Show Highlights: ●      The structure for Rachel’s 3in30 podcast: 3 actionable takeaways in 30 minutes ●      Why parenting values are far superior to parenting rules ●      Why success in motherhood is most definable by the connection we have with our kids ●      What Rachel teaches in her program, Self-Assured Motherhood ●      Why there is an opportunity to parent your inner child by identifying your core parenting values ●      How you can have different values for different seasons of your life and family ●      How Rachel’s program helps women identify and uncover their values by looking inward and outward ●      Why our values might be in conflict with each other ●      How parenting partners can handle conflict in their individual parenting values ●      Takeaways from Rachel about embracing your values, accepting them, and living into them authentically   Resources and Links: Connect with Rachel Nielson: Website and Podcast Find Rachel’s list of parenting values: www.3in30podcast.com/values Mentioned in this episode: The Family Firm by Emily Oster Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes

Every mother needs to hear this conversation. It just doesn’t make sense that we put so much undue pressure on ourselves and are quick to criticize and judge other moms for their parenting styles. I’m joined today by Erica Djossa, the author of Releasing the Mother Load: How to Carry Less and Enjoy Motherhood More. We are talking about all things motherhood and expectations, why I’ve been blasted over a couple of recent TikToks, and Erica’s parenting wisdom from her book. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ●      One of KC’s videos about how she “doesn’t play” with her kids—and the flurry of negative responses over parenting choices ●      The intensive mothering ideation: motherhood equals martyrdom, mothers must put everyone else’s needs about their own, shelve all their interests, and be self-sacrificial in every way ●      The second of KC’s videos about sending her dog away from home for training—and the flurry of anger and shame over her inadequacies as a dog owner ●      Mainstay pillars of the intensive mothering ideology and the BS that is promoted as healthy attachment and “good mothering” ●      Giving less can sometimes mean giving more. ●      The truth that shows up in the bedtime routine (“Are you holding space for yourself, mom?”) ●      The scope, dynamic, and importance of “independent play,” creativity, and solving problems ●      Healthy attachment: safety, security, reliability, and dependability ●      The space for moms to have unique and different personalities and mothering styles, like bedroom parents vs. living room parents ●      Projecting our mother wounds on other moms (Why do we do it?) ●      Understanding why not all NOs are equal ●      The disparity in expectations and judgment for moms and dads ●      Motherhood expectations, boundaries, and the stories we tell ourselves Resources and Links: Connect with Erica Djossa: Website, Instagram, Momwell Podcast, and Releasing the Mother Load book                        Mentioned by Erica: Needy by Mara Glatzel   Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

I recently came across the content of Dr. Andrew Bauman, a licensed mental health counselor whose mission is to provide high-quality experiential, narrative-based psychotherapy from a Christian worldview. His writings display eye-opening perspectives on religion and relationships that we aren’t used to hearing from a male Christian leader. I’m joined by Dr. Andrew to discuss how the church gaslights women and much more. Join us! Show Highlights: ●      Dr. Andrew’s path from Southern Baptist Church pastor to therapist as he deconstructed his faith and faced stark realizations ●      The big, red-flag problems in what some churches teach and practice about women, leadership, sexism, and abuse ●      The facts about sexism and abuse experienced by women in the church ●      “How we are in our sexuality is how we are in our spirituality.” ●      Many churches demonstrate benevolent or ambivalent sexism. ●      Thoughts and feelings about I Timothy 2:11-12 being weaponized against women ●      Dr. Andrew’s thoughts on how the church weaponizes forgiveness ●      The correlation between pornography and violence against women ●      The biblical account of Jesus and the woman at the well—and how He broke decades of prejudices and sexism in His own culture ●      Other examples in scripture of how Jesus valued women—and how the church “gets it wrong” so often ●      Understanding sexuality and consent   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Andrew Bauman: Website/Blog/Resources, The Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma Recommended Reading: books by Natalie Hoffman, Sarah McDugal, and Sheila Gregoire  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Joining me today is Sarah (pronounced SAH-rah) Casper, Consent Educator and the founder of Comprehensive Consent. We connected over a recent TikTok about sexual coercion, sexual assault, and consent, which, as you can imagine, prompted very strong reactions. There is a new social space around the whole idea of consent, even to the point that new terminology is being created, as with the term “enthusiastic consent.” With the overall goal of education and empowerment, Sarah and I tackle this very nuanced topic in today’s show. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      Consent is full of black, white, and LOTS of gray areas. ●      The truth: “Consent is not simple, and the same rules don’t apply across all contexts.” ●      Understanding the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire and the opt-in model vs. the opt-out model ●      Common questions Sarah is asked about people’s experiences ●      Everyone deserves care, all feelings are valid, and your feelings don’t have to be labeled. ●      Not all assault is sexual coercion, and not all sexual coercion is assault. ●      Sexual ethics is much more than consent. ●      Watch out for red flags in a partner wanting to “check all the boxes” for consent. Resources and Links: Connect with Sarah Casper and Comprehensive Consent: Website, Instagram, and TikTok   Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Friendships can be very complicated and fragile while at the same time solid and fulfilling. Even though our “besties” may come and go across our lifetime, they can each bring something valuable and unique to the friendship table. In this episode, we are taking a closer look at relationships, specifically friendships in all their complex and nuanced forms. My guest is content creator and podcaster, Hello Hayes. She answers questions from her community each week about navigating turbulence in our relationships with each other, work, and ourselves. Our conversation takes a closer look at her intriguing theory of the six different kinds of best friends. Join us!   Show Highlights:   ●      Hayes’s background as a writer, an empathetic person, an “old soul,” and a good listener ●      The natural shifts in friendships as life changes and phases unfold ●      Hayes’s six besties theory: (based on the premise that we have different friends in life for different purposes) ○      The Good Time Bestie ○      The Dead Body Bestie ○      The Work Bestie ○      The North Star Bestie ○      The OG Bestie ○      The Seasonal Bestie ●      The mental health piece of friendship ●      Practice your self-awareness muscle: Be confident in trusting your gut! ●      The basis for Hayes’s advice to people about their relationships ●      Knowing when it’s time to face a painful heartbreak and move on ●      Having tough conversations with the right words without being accusatory   Resources and Links: Connect with Hello Hayes: Hello Hayes podcast, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and email (to submit a question) hellohayesadvice@gmail.com  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

This episode is powerful. I’m honored to have two of the three authors of the book, Beyond Fragility with me today. Dr. Natalie Watson-Singleton and Dr. Yara Mekawi, along with Danielle Dawson, have written truly the best anti-racism resource I’ve ever encountered. As a white person and a clinician, it is powerful to hear this perspective of what we need to do psychologically to get to a place of anti-racism. Drs. Natalie and Yara are researchers, educators, writers, and the co-founders of DEAR, the Dialectical Engagement and Anti-Racism Project. Join us to learn more about this timely and important topic!   Show Highlights: ●      The origins of DEAR and Beyond Fragility as an outgrowth of Yara’s Medium article, How to not be a “Karen”: Managing the tensions of anti-racism allyship ●      The differences between DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and traditional talk therapy ●      Systemic racism, emotions, and “whiteness” ●      The goal of Beyond Fragility: to teach hard truths and skills that are necessary for a society that isn’t harmful to people of color ●      The DBT skill of effectiveness as a decision-guiding principle ●      A perspective on furthering anti-racism instead of placing blame ●      Barriers to anti-racism work ●      Anti-racism skills covered in the book, like accept, feel, detect, etc. ●      “Fight or flight” responses–and how they show up in anti-racism ●      Anti-racist repair and apologies ●      Skills to use in calling out racist missteps: (CALL) clarify what happened, acknowledge intentions, lay out the reasons, and list possible solutions; (OUT) observing, using humility, and tolerating resistance ●      The DEI calculator–and how to use it to ask for other perspectives ●      An example of anti-racism tools and skills in action with racial marginalization   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Natalie, Dr. Yara, and The DEAR Project: Website, Instagram, and Facebook, LinkedIn   Beyond Fragility: A Skills-Based Guide to Effective Anti-Racist Allyship by Dr. Natalie Watson-Singleton, Dr. Yara Mekawi, and Danielle Dawson Also mentioned in this episode: White Fragility by Dr. Robin DiAngelo Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

If you have a child with a disability in the public school system, you are familiar with the language of special education, IEPs, and 504 Plans. If it’s new to you, stick around for today’s conversation because I’m joined by two trusted experts in the thick of the IEP world. We begin with Dr. Lesley Cook, a clinical psychologist and repeat guest on the show, as she explains what parents need to know to be prepared and informed ahead of IEP meetings. My second guest is Kim Kizito, a fierce advocate who meets with families and consults with them as they navigate the public school system to get educational services for their children with various disabilities. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: From Dr. Lesley:  ●      Dr. Lesley’s path to becoming a trusted expert witness in due process cases dealing with neuropsych assessments ●      Understanding IEPs–individual education programs for students who have a diagnosis that interferes with their education ●      The difference between bad goals and good goals in an IEP ●      Dr. Lesley’s advice to watch out for the word “comply” in an IEP goal ●      Turning bad goals into better goals that are affirming and realistic ●      Considerations around behavioral disorders, PTSD, and triggering environments ●      3 kinds of interventions and supports that should be included in IEPs ●      A look at the intense pressure that parents feel in the IEP process–and why the law regards them as equal members in the process ●      Examples of common accommodations that parents can ask for ●      The problem with color charts as a behavior management tool ●      Dr. Lesley’s tips for parents and guardians who want to be more informed and prepared for IEP meetings   From Kim:  ●      Most parents don’t realize what services are available for children ages 0-3 through ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) ●      The importance of a special education advocate in helping families ●      Understanding the difference between a 504 Plan and an IEP ●      The three-pronged process for a child to qualify for an IEP ●      Lightning round questions for Kim about the excuses schools give to parents ●      Kim’s strategy to “get through” to the school to get evaluations and services for a child ●      Top tips for parents in protecting their child’s educational rights ●      A manifestation determination hearing—when it is appropriate and what it means   Resources and Links:  Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok  Mentioned by Dr. Lesley: www.understood.org  Connect with Kim Kizito: Website, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Dance is about more than just moving your body. With today’s technology, it’s easy to layer other elements in addition to movement to create a product of expression. Dance is all about expression, it is for everyone, and it shouldn’t be limited to specific people who “fit the mold.” I’m joined today by Heather Stockton, a content creator and dance teacher who I recently discovered on TikTok. We are discussing accessible dance. Join us! Show Highlights: ●      Heather’s background with dance as the “true love” of her life overriding everything as she grew up ●      How Heather discovered in college that dance can be a means of communication, storytelling, and expressiveness ●      How body issues affected Heather’s first experience of dance not being accessible ●      Why Heather’s mission in life is to make dance accessible and inclusive for ALL bodies and break down the stigma that connects it to just one body type ●      Heather’s job today as a dance educator in an elementary school and a dance program developer whose work is based on accessibility and inclusion ●      How Heather teaches through multiple modalities that apply to every gen ed and special ed student in her classes ●      How dance provides multiple benefits for both physical and mental health ●      How dance for adults can heal their inner child, provide community, and allow them to be curious, playful, and expressive ●      Heather leads us through a BrainDance exercise (developed by Anne Green Gilbert) that can be done by people of any age, from very young children to elderly adults Resources and Links: Connect with Heather Stockton: Website, TikTok, and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

There is no bigger struggle than surviving a post-disaster scenario or perhaps the anxiety we feel about an impending disaster. Joining me today is Zoe Higgins, The Leftist Prepper, from TikTok. You’ll learn what it means to be a prepper, how and why Zoe became a prepper, why the “disaster myth” of movies is not reality, and how to keep your family safe in a disastrous event.    Show Highlights: ●      What it means to be a prepper—and how it started for Zoe in 2017 ●      The difference between doomsday preppers and realistic preppers ●      What leftist prepping is all about ●      Zoe’s Hurricane Ida experience in 2021, and how communities came together ●      What the “disaster myth” is—and why it isn’t true ●      How fundamental Christian narratives play into alt-right prepper views ●      How doomsday preppers incorporate racism, ableism, and fat shaming into their rhetoric ●      Where to start in becoming a prepper ●      What to know about prepping with canned food, freeze-dried food, and stored water ●      Why a hand-crank emergency radio is a necessity ●      How to prep for extreme temperatures in a disaster scenario ●      What to think about in your 72-hour kit beyond food and water: niche gadgets, first aid/medical supplies, maps, chargers, batteries, and printed information ●      What to consider for a go-bag, bug-out bag, etc. ●      Safety issues to think about in a disaster scenario ●      Zoe’s takeaway thoughts about anxiety and prepping   Resources and Links:  Connect with Zoe: TikTok and How People Behave After Disasters information sheet   Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

We are discussing an intriguing topic today: accessible yoga. I want to know more about it, so I’ve invited Emily Anderson to join me. She’s been a yoga teacher since 2018 and is focusing her work this year on yoga therapy, the application of yogic modalities and philosophies in caring for people based on their unique medical and emotional needs and in collaboration with a person’s medical team. Emily does yoga therapy through her virtual studio, All Bodies Welcome Yoga. She firmly believes that anyone can come through her virtual doors and feel comfortable and welcome, which is not always the case in mainstream, fitness-based yoga studios in the US. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ●      Why it is important to Emily to have equity and inclusion in the yoga classroom ●      Why common conceptions about yoga are a “tricky blur” between self-help, mind/body connection, and spirituality ●      How different yoga positions are beneficial to the body and emotions ●      How people feel health shame and sometimes associate movement with pain, punishment, or discipline ●      How yoga helps reconnect us to the ways our bodies enjoy movement and give us feedback about sensations ●      How Emily works with clients around pushing themselves when things are challenging and empowering themselves with options and autonomy ●      Why much teaching around exercise and movement are fear-based ●      How Emily conducts virtual yoga classes ●      How to look for accessible yoga classes in your community Resources and Links: Connect with Emily Anderson and All Bodies Welcome Yoga: Website, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and The Softness Meditation Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Looking at the diverse aspects of mental health from different angles is part of what this show is about. Today’s episode features Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon, who are clinicians, therapists, Asian Americans, and the co-authors of Where I Belong: Healing Trauma and Embracing Asian American Identity. Join us to learn more about mental health and the Asian American community!   Show Highlights:  ●      How Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon met while working in a community health setting mainly with Asian immigrants and refugees in the US ●      Why Asian clients generally experience big stigma and shame around mental health care ●      Why there are common barriers to treatment for Asian Americans, including intergenerational trauma, racial trauma, migration trauma, and invisibility ●      Why therapists have to approach identity issues and family dynamics differently with children of immigrants ●      Soo Jin’s story of the extreme effects of growing up as an undocumented immigrant ●      How Soo Jin’s mother experienced “functional PTSD”---which led to intergenerational trauma in the family ●      How Linda experienced different kinds of intergenerational trauma, mainly due to domestic violence and abuse in her family ●      What is involved in breaking intergenerational family trauma ●      How their book addresses a community perspective on emotions and mental health ●      How practices like yoga and Tai Chi help create a somatic connection between trauma therapy and movement ●      Why everyone, including non-Asians, can benefit from reading their book   Resources and Links:  Connect with Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon: Yellow Chair Collective Website, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook  **Get the book, Where I Belong  Mentioned in this episode: Teaching the Invisible Race by Tony DelaRosa Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

My guest today is content creator, Frances, from TikTok. She most often covers topics related to Black maternal health and mental health, but today we venture into her personal experience in being a neurodivergent Black woman. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      How Frances is affected by neurodivergent issues like dyslexia, sensory processing disorder, and stimming (There is much more to neurodivergence beyond ADHD and autism!) ●      How a knowledgeable teacher caught Frances’ problems early in elementary school ●      How differences in cultures play out in the ways neurodivergence might be manifested ●      Why there are many shortfalls in identifying learning disabilities because too many teachers assume the problems are behavioral ●      Why it is difficult as the parent of a neurodivergent child to find balance in privacy, protection, and sharing information with others ●      Frances’ opinions on her childhood accommodations that were most impactful and least impactful for her ●      How Frances functions with accommodations in the workplace as an adult    Resources and Links: Connect with Frances: TikTok  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

A big part of the discussion around mental health, wellness, and self-care is not to overlook the factors that may have contributed to some form of religious trauma in your life. If you are someone who has a religious background and might be deconstructing from a religion (Christianity, in particular), today’s conversation will help you navigate that journey. I’m joined by Rev. Lizzie, an Episcopal priest who is based in Austin, Texas, where she is the founding planter of Jubilee Episcopal Church. There is something inspiring and comforting in this conversation for everyone, no matter your relationship with religion. Join us!   Show Highlights:  ●      Shocker: “Cleanliness is next to godliness” is not in the Bible, so you are not morally sinful if your sink is full of dirty dishes. ●      Why Christianity can be comforting to us in our feelings of brokenness and unworthiness ●      Where the phrase about cleanliness and godliness originated–as a way to teach that our “inside” is a more important focus than our outward appearance ●      The danger of misunderstanding “God commands” and “God cares” ●      Why much of what people “think” is Christianity is a misunderstanding of God’s grace and love for our souls ●      Why the vastness of God cannot be contained solely within the bounds of scripture ●      How we each have a “canon within a canon” of the scriptures that we hold the most sacred and important ●      What Rev. Lizzie wants us to understand about the word “jubilee” and what it means about freedom, justice, and joy   Resources and Links: Connect with Rev. Lizzie: TikTok, Instagram, and And Also With You Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Resilience. You’ve heard the word, I’m sure, but do you know what it means and how it plays out in real-life situations? Building resilience through pain and difficulties is today’s topic, and Dr. Patrice Berry is here to help us understand. She is a licensed clinical psychologist in Virginia who enjoys creating educational content on social media to provide additional education and information to people she can’t see in her local office. Join us!  Show Highlights: ●      How Dr. Patrice sees resilience in her work with trauma survivors ●      How Dr. Patrice defines resilience ●      Why resilience can be both an innate ability and a learned skill/tool ●      Why resilience comes from a growth mindset of honoring pain and seeing light through pain ●      What it means to balance pain and trauma ●      How a supportive network helps build resilience by making someone know they are seen, heard, understood, and not alone ●      Dr. Patrice’s take on the oft-used statement: “Children are resilient.” ●      Why children need to experience difficulties, disappointments, mistakes, and pain (not intentionally-caused pain) ●      The role of resilience in being the difference between surviving and thriving ●      How to find joy—even in the midst of surviving ●      How Dr. Patrice teaches the resilience-building skill of “doing the opposite” ●      How to give yourself accommodations ●      The relationship between resilience and persistence   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Patrice Berry: TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and (book) Turning Crisis into Clarity: How to Survive or Thrive in the Midst of Uncertainty Book mentioned by Dr. Patrice: Trauma-Proofing Your Kids by Peter Levine Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

The thing about boundaries is that they are much more complex than most people assume. The world of boundary-setting is rarely colored with clearly defined black-and-white choices. Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Bethany about her relationship with her father and how she handled boundaries in ways that felt authentic to her. We are discussing how boundaries come into play in the relationships we have and the decision-making process we use. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ●      A little background on Bethany’s dad, their relationship, and how she grew up not feeling wanted and approved by him ●      How Bethany’s relationship with her dad got worse as she became an adult and encountered her personal addiction issues ●      How Bethany learned hard lessons about communicating with her dad ●      Why Bethany decided to maintain her relationship with her dad—even though he gave her every reason not to ●      How Bethany set hard boundaries by not engaging with him when he was drinking and verbally abusive to her ●      How extra complexities came into their relationship when his health declined and he needed her more and more ●      Why Bethany’s decisions to engage and re-engage were never about believing he would change ●      Why the boundary decisions we make are less about what is right or wrong and more about how we can remain an authentic, whole person ●      How Bethany handled his terminal illness in ways that left her with no regrets   Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Are you at the end of your rope dealing with a dog who always seems to be the problem? I’ve been there, and I can say that there is hope! Today’s episode is a nice wrap-up as the final part of our series on dog training. Jacqui Zakar joins us from her home in Australia for today’s discussion about coping when your dog is “the problem.” Jacqui is a dog trainer I follow on TikTok, and I know she brings a lot of great advice and expertise to this important topic. Join us!   Show Highlights: ●      Why Jacqui understands from personal experience what it’s like to have a reactive dog that’s labeled as “that dog” ●      What Jacqui identifies as the most common misconception around dog training ●      Why Jacqui wants parents to take a closer look at the relationship between their dog and their child ●      Why socialization for your puppy is NOT the only answer to behavior problems ●      Why we sometimes have to adjust our expectations of life with “this dog” because of their individuality ●      Why Jacqui starts her training by assessing how a dog deals with different types of pressure ●      Why training should focus on small steps and ONE thing at a time ●      What to do when you’re at the end of your rope with a problem dog ●      Why the best question to ask when getting a dog is, “Which dog will fit best into my lifestyle?” ●      What KC discovered about her dog through using aversive methods (with a trainer) and teaching boundaries ●      How to use a “welfare lens” in understanding long-term stress vs. a stressful moment in your dog’s training    Resources and Links: Connect with Jacqui Zakar: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

If you are a parent or have spent time with expectant and new parents, you’ve probably heard the phrase, “Breast is best.” The phrase is used to promote breastfeeding as a superior way to feed a baby, and it has terrorized many new parents along the way. My guest is Mallory Whitmore, “The Formula Mom,” who is a passionate advocate for formula-feeding parents. Join us for the discussion!  Show Highlights: ●      How and when “breast is best” originated and became a popular slogan ●      The tragic and manipulative history of formula marketing ●      How “Breast is best” has come to symbolize superior parenting choices and not merely nutrition ●      How breastfeeding is often the first failure in parenthood and one that causes extreme mom guilt ●      Mallory’s take on the question: Is breast best? ●      Why most parenting choices are a cost/benefit decision ●      The truth about the data behind “Breast is Best”---and why the research is skewed ●      KC’s personal experience of struggling to breastfeed and switching to formula ●      Why the fundamental issue here is a woman’s bodily autonomy, something most people support in every other circumstance ●      Why the “lacti-vism” movement is wrong in assigning moral superiority to the act of breastfeeding ●      The realities of life around breastfeeding on the job and a lack of empathy ●      Why Mallory’s mission is to support and empower formula moms to combat the shame—not to convince people not to breastfeed   Resources and Links: Connect with Mallory: Instagram, TikTok, and Milk Drunk Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Today’s topic is exciting: toxic masculinity, which might be better termed “functional masculinity.” I’m joined by Alex Frankel, who grew up in San Francisco clearly understanding that the definition of hotness was dictated by beautiful people in popular magazines. During his entire childhood, he felt trapped in his fat body and hated how he looked. He finally realized that being hot was more than perfect abs and bulging biceps but more of an attitude. Alex is now a successful plus-size model, and he’s a body-acceptance advocate and role model for fat guys all around the world. He created the Hot Fat Guy Club to dispel the myths around diet, culture, fatphobia, and other fat people stereotypes. His goal was to create a welcoming community where people are celebrated and not shamed for their body types. Why do I love this topic? It’s because men are not often talked about in the body positivity movement. Join us for a new perspective from a Hot Fat Guy!   Show Highlights: ●      An overview of Dr. Ronald Levant’s Seven Tenets of Traditional Masculine Ideology ●      Where the problem of masculinity originates because of deeply entrenched patriarchy, traditional masculine values, programming, and gender policing ●      Fascinating trends in how young boys and girls segregate themselves until puberty hits ●      Why Alex believes a lack of empathy and respect for other human beings are core issues with today’s masculinity ●      How we are taught the power differential by society around relationships and rejection ●      How programmed traditional masculinity can be dormant until it flares up later in life ●      The link between church and religious propaganda and traditional masculinity ●      Why men have been programmed by traditional masculinity around vulnerability and feeling shame in showing emotions ●      Three things to note around weaponized vulnerability, emotional safety, and caring feelings ●      An example about the inability to express or understand emotions Resources and Links:  Connect with Alex Frankel and the Hot Fat Guy Club: TikTok and Instagram Mentioned in this episode: Therapy Chat podcast and The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths About Masculinity and Violence by Ronald F. Levant and Shana Pryor Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Many people struggle with executive functioning skills, which are the mental skills that we use every day to learn, work, and manage tasks in daily life. My guest is Hannah Choi from Beyond Booksmart. She is an executive function coach who hosts Focus Forward: An Executive Function Podcast. She has over 20 years of experience working with students of all ages but currently focuses her coaching on college students and adults. Hannah was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and has spent her life trying to figure out systems to make things easier and less awful for those with executive functioning challenges. Join us to learn more from Hannah!   Show Highlights:  ●      An overview of Beyond Booksmart and what they offer through their coaching programs ●      How Hannah explains executive function skills ●      Why executive function skills are greatly impacted by our stress levels ●      How working memory is impaired by executive function challenges ●      The importance of figuring out the WHY of your struggle ●      How Hannah works with someone with time blindness by using a BVA (budgeted vs. actual) tool ●      Why you need to give yourself compassion as you identify your struggle and find workable solutions Resources and Links:   Connect with Hannah Choi and Beyond Booksmart: Website and the Focus Forward Podcast  Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Today’s topic is about the religious trauma that many people encounter as they grow up, patriarchy, and the way religion tends to weaponize mental health. I’ve had my various issues with religion, but I want this episode to be helpful to those who consider themselves religious and those who do not. I’m joined by Karla, who is an Interfaith Interspiritual minister who refers to herself as “spiritual, but not religious.” Join us! Show Highlights: ●      How Rev. Karla came into her “deconstructing religion” phase ●      How a journey of religious deconstruction puts a person into a kind of freefall ●      What it means to go into the “spiritual wilderness” ●      Why Rev. Karla calls herself an unchurched, non-conforming Christian ●      Why we should question authority, religion, and the patriarchy ●      How we are intuitively connected to our inner wisdom and what is happening around us ●      Why we need spiritual autonomy ●      Thoughts on the Netflix documentary, Escaping Twin Flames ●      How some religions weaponize any mental health issues as indicators that faith, spiritual grounding, and leadership potential are lacking ●      Why sexual exploitation almost always shows up when patriarchy is in full force ●      The correlation between mental health and religious trauma Resources and Links: Connect with Rev. Karla: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Spirituality Matters podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.