The Art of Charm

In today's episode, we discuss the hidden forces that shape human behavior and global challenges with Kristian Rönn, a leading thinker in sustainability and evolutionary psychology. As the CEO and cofounder of Normative, Kristian revolutionized how businesses approach sustainability accounting, helping large enterprises achieve their net zero targets. With a rich background in mathematics, philosophy, computer science, and artificial intelligence, he is also the author of "The Darwinian Trap: The Hidden Evolutionary Forces That Explain Our World (and Threaten Our Future)", where he unpacks the evolutionary pitfalls that hinder long-term success and offers insights into how cooperation and high-value behaviors can lead to better decision-making and a brighter future for all. Join us for a thought-provoking conversation with Kristian Rönn as he uncovers the evolutionary forces that silently shape our world and the challenges we face in both personal and global contexts. How do these hidden forces drive human conflict and short-term thinking? What can we do to avoid the Darwinian traps that hinder long-term success? Kristian shares his deep insights into the psychological underpinnings of our behavior, the impact of competitive pressures on society, and the importance of fostering cooperation to create a better future. Discover actionable strategies to navigate these evolutionary pitfalls, enhance your decision-making, and become a more high-value, cooperative leader in your career and beyond. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 What sparked Kristian Rönn’s passion for understanding the evolutionary forces behind human behavior and global challenges? How did Kristian’s journey from Oxford’s Future of Humanity Institute to founding Normative shape his perspective on sustainability and global risks? What is the central thesis of Kristian’s book, The Darwinian Trap, and why is it crucial for our future? The Darwinian Trap: Evolutionary Forces in Action – 00:06:13 What is the Darwinian Trap, and how does it explain the short-term thinking and conflicts we see in society? How do evolutionary pressures influence everything from nation-state conflicts to personal career competition? What are the "Darwinian demons" we must be aware of, and how can they impact decision-making on both a personal and global level? The Hidden Costs of Short-Term Thinking – 00:24:26 How can short-term evolutionary strategies be both beneficial and harmful in different contexts? What are some real-world examples of how short-term thinking has led to long-term problems, and how can we avoid these pitfalls? Why is it easier to destroy than to build, and how does this concept relate to the challenges we face today? Navigating the Complexities of Modern Society – 00:36:20 How has globalization and the interdependence of nations both helped and hindered global cooperation? Why is decentralized power important in creating a more equitable and cooperative future? Building a Better Future: Cooperation and Governance – 00:45:27 How can we overcome the cooperation failures that drive global conflicts and environmental degradation? What role can reputational markets and decentralized governance play in solving these complex problems? What are the potential dangers of technological advancements, particularly in AI, and how can we manage these risks responsibly? What actionable steps can individuals take to contribute to a more collaborative and sustainable world? Concluding Thoughts and Optimism for the Future – 00:56:23 Despite the challenges, what gives Kristian optimism about the future of humanity and our ability to overcome the Darwinian Trap? How can meditation and introspection help individuals maintain a positive outlook in the face of global challenges? Where can listeners learn more about The Darwinian Trap and Kristian Rönn’s work on sustainability and global risks? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we explore the crucial mindset shift from doing the work to winning the work with Mo Bunnell, a renowned business growth expert and founder of the Bunnell Idea Group. With decades of experience helping organizations scale and thrive, Mo has dedicated his career to teaching professionals how to elevate their approach to relationship-building and business development. As the author of "The Snowball System: How to Win More Business and Turn Clients into Raving Fans" and host of the "Real Relationships, Real Revenue" podcast, Mo brings a wealth of knowledge on how small, consistent actions can lead to exponential growth in your career and business.  Join us for an engaging conversation with Mo Bunnell, where he reveals the secrets to shifting from simply doing the work to winning the work in your career. How can you overcome the internal obstacles that hold you back from building meaningful relationships and growing your business? What are the small, consistent habits that can lead to exponential success over time? Mo shares his expert strategies on developing a winning mindset, the art of giving to grow, and the critical shifts in communication that can help you move from being a good performer to a top performer. Discover actionable insights to elevate your career, deepen your professional relationships, and unlock new opportunities in both your business and personal life. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 What inspired Mo Bunnell to focus on the mindset shift from doing the work to winning the work? How has Mo’s extensive experience in business growth shaped his approach to relationship building and business development? What key principles from "Give to Grow" can help you elevate your career and business relationships? The Mindset Shift: Doing the Work vs. Winning the Work – 00:02:16 What is the crucial difference between doing the work and winning the work, and why is it essential for career growth? How can you start thinking 10x, not 1x, to overcome internal fears and embrace opportunities? What are the key habits that successful professionals use to transition from a delivery-focused mindset to a growth-oriented one? Overcoming the Lies That Hold You Back – 00:13:47 What are the five common lies we tell ourselves that hinder our success in relationship building? How can you identify and counteract these lies to maintain momentum in your career? Why is it important to act through discomfort and rejection to achieve long-term success? Integrating Relationship Development with Daily Work – 00:19:47 How can you seamlessly integrate relationship building into your daily tasks without feeling overwhelmed? What are practical examples of small, consistent actions that can lead to significant career growth? How can face-to-face interactions dramatically increase your chances of success in building relationships? The Power of Giving to Grow – 00:31:39 What does it mean to “give to grow,” and how can this mindset transform your professional relationships? How can you provide value even when you feel you have nothing to give? What are the four types of gifts you can offer to deepen relationships and create opportunities? Strategic Giving and Setting Boundaries – 00:43:38 How can you be a strategic giver without getting taken advantage of? What are the boundaries you need to set to ensure that your giving leads to mutual growth? How can asking for small commitments from others help you identify who’s worth investing in? Building Habits for Long-Term Success – 00:51:47 How can you create routines and habits that naturally lead to winning the work? What is the importance of maintaining a list of key opportunities and relationships, and how can this practice drive your success? How can focusing on three most important things (MITs) each week create unstoppable momentum in your career? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we dive into the art of productive discourse, the challenges posed by modern technology, and the 10 essential habits of a peacemaker with Steven T. Collis, a distinguished law professor and expert in First Amendment rights. As a scholar dedicated to understanding and navigating the complexities of free speech and religious liberty, Steven has spent years engaging in some of the most contentious topics of our time. His insightful perspectives have been shared across North America, where he educates audiences on the sophisticated tactics used by social media companies to keep us addicted and the importance of intellectual humility in today's polarized world. In this episode, we explore key insights from his upcoming book, "Habits of a Peacemaker," available this September. Join us for an insightful conversation with Steven T. Collis, where he discusses the challenges of modern communication and the critical role of peacemaking in today's polarized society. How can we break free from the habits that social media companies have engineered to keep us addicted and instead foster more productive and meaningful discourse? What are the essential habits that can help us navigate difficult conversations and bridge divides? Steven shares his expert insights on cultivating intellectual humility, the power of real learning, and the surprising ways humor can be a tool for connection. Discover practical strategies to become a more effective peacemaker, enhance your relationships, and contribute to a more respectful and understanding world both online and offline. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 What inspired Steven T. Collis to write "Habits of a Peacemaker" and why is peacemaking more important than ever? How does Steven’s background in First Amendment law influence his approach to productive discourse? What challenges do modern technologies, especially social media, pose to our ability to engage in meaningful conversations? The Art of Productive Discourse – 00:03:00 What habits can help you engage in more productive and respectful conversations? How can you overcome the addictive nature of social media to focus on real learning and intellectual humility? Why is it important to seek out differing viewpoints, and how can this practice improve your understanding of complex issues? Social Media's Impact on Communication – 00:10:45 How do social media platforms use psychological techniques from the gambling industry to keep users engaged? What are the dangers of echo chambers and how can they hinder productive discourse? What strategies can you use to protect yourself from the negative effects of social media on your communication habits? Developing Intellectual Humility – 00:16:14 What does it mean to have intellectual humility, and why is it crucial for productive dialogue? How can you reframe conversations to focus on learning rather than debating? Why is it important to recognize the limits of your knowledge, especially when discussing complex topics? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we explore the rise of cynicism, strategies to cultivate hope, and the crucial difference between skepticism and cynicism with Dr. Jamil Zaki, a distinguished professor of psychology at Stanford University and director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Laboratory. Dr. Zaki has spent nearly two decades studying how people connect with each other, how these connections benefit us, and how we can improve our ability to connect. His groundbreaking research has been featured in top-tier publications such as The New York Times, The Atlantic, and Scientific American. In this episode, we explore insights from his upcoming book, "Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness," available this September. Join us for an engaging conversation with Dr. Jamil Zaki, where he unpacks the rise of cynicism and offers practical strategies to foster hope and trust. How can you recognize and combat your own cynical tendencies in a world that often feels increasingly distrustful? What are the key differences between healthy skepticism and detrimental cynicism? Dr. Zaki shares his expert insights on cultivating a more positive outlook, drawing from his extensive research and groundbreaking work. Discover effective strategies to nurture hope, improve your relationships, and create a more trusting and cooperative environment both personally and professionally. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 How does Dr. Jamil Zaki's extensive background in psychology and social neuroscience inform his approach to combating cynicism? What personal experiences inspired Dr. Zaki to focus on the rise of cynicism in his research? How does Dr. Zaki define cynicism and its impact on both personal and professional relationships? Recognizing and Combating Personal Cynicism – 00:06:28 What are the key differences between healthy skepticism and harmful cynicism? What strategies can you use to cultivate a more hopeful and trusting mindset? The Contagion of Cynicism – 00:13:45 In what ways is cynicism contagious, and how does it spread through groups and organizations? How can you counteract the spread of cynicism within your own social and professional networks? How does organizational cynicism from leaders affect employees and company culture? What are the consequences of micromanagement and lack of trust in a work environment? Strategies to Foster Hope and Trust – 00:18:04 How can you build trust and positivity within your immediate team or social circle? Demographic Trends in Cynicism – 00:24:27 How can you identify your own cynical tendencies? What demographic groups are experiencing the highest rise in cynicism, and why? How do generational differences impact levels of trust and cynicism? What are the implications of increasing cynicism among younger generations for the future of society? What factors contribute to the increasing levels of cynicism in today's society? How have historical trends and recent events, such as the pandemic, influenced collective trust and cynicism? Cultivating Hope and Trust – 00:34:14 How does Dr. Zaki differentiate between hope and optimism? What are practical steps to foster hope and maintain a positive outlook? How can you support friends and family members who are struggling with cynicism? What is the concept of "trusting loudly," and how can it enhance your relationships? How can collecting more social data help you challenge and overcome negative assumptions about others? Final Thoughts and Resources – 00:45:34 Where can listeners learn more about Dr. Jamil Zaki's research and his new book, "Hope for Cynics"? What additional resources are available for those looking to improve their social and emotional health? How can listeners apply the insights from this episode to their own lives and relationships? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we explore the vital importance of social health, strategies to foster meaningful connections, and the transformative power of relationships with Kasley Killam, a renowned expert in social health and connection. Kasley has dedicated over a decade to advancing global well-being through her work with organizations like Google, the US Department of Health and Human Services, and the World Economic Forum. Her insights have been featured in prestigious publications such as The New York Times, Scientific American, and Psychology Today. In this episode, we uncover key takeaways from her book, "The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier," available now. Join us for an insightful conversation with Kasley Killam, where she explores the essential components of social health and the art of building meaningful connections. How can you enhance your social well-being in a world increasingly driven by technology and individualism? What are the fundamental practices to nurture quality relationships that truly enrich your life? Kasley shares her expert strategies for assessing and improving your social health, drawing from her extensive research and impactful work. Discover the transformative 531 guideline for social connection and the steps to integrate diverse, fulfilling relationships into your daily life. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:27 How does Kasley Killam's extensive background in social health and public health shape her approach to building meaningful connections? What inspired Kasley to focus on social health and connection in her career? How does Kasley define the concept of social health and its significance in today’s society? How Can You Understand and Improve Your Social Health? – 00:02:15 Why does Kasley believe that social health is as important as physical and mental health? How can you accurately assess your own social health? What are the three core characteristics of being socially healthy? How Does Technology Impact Your Social Health? – 00:10:28 How does technology influence our social health, both positively and negatively? What are the pitfalls of relying too much on technology for social connections? How can you use technology thoughtfully to enhance your social health? What is the 531 Guideline and How Can It Transform Your Life? – 00:19:22 What is the 531 guideline and how can it help improve your social health? How can you implement the 531 guideline in your daily life? What are some practical examples of connecting with five different people each week? How do you bring connection back into your life if you feel isolated? What are the signs that the relationships you are in are not mutually beneficial and holding you back? Why Should You Cultivate Diverse Relationships? – 00:36:18 Why is it important to have a diverse social portfolio? How do connections with people from different backgrounds and cultures benefit your social health? What steps can you take to build and maintain diverse relationships? How Can You Prioritize Connection in a Busy Life? – 00:41:14 What small steps can you take to weave connection into your busy schedule? How can you be present and prioritize quality over quantity in your interactions? Why is it essential to balance alone time and social time, especially for introverts? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we explore the art of conflict resolution, negotiation strategies, and transforming challenging relationships with Dr. William Ury, a distinguished expert in the field of negotiation and conflict mediation. Dr. Ury is the co-founder of Harvard's Program on Negotiation and has nearly 50 years of experience in resolving some of the world's toughest conflicts. His seminal works include the bestsellers "Getting to Yes" and "Getting Past No," which have sold over 5 million copies worldwide. In this episode, we explore insights from his latest book, "Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict," available now. Join us for an enlightening discussion with Dr. William Ury, where he unravels the nuances of conflict resolution and high-stakes negotiation. How can you turn a seemingly insurmountable conflict into a collaborative opportunity? What are the key techniques to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for tough negotiations? Dr. Ury shares his top strategies for avoiding common negotiation pitfalls and engaging constructively, drawing from his vast experience and groundbreaking work. Discover how to build a "golden bridge" in negotiations and the essential steps to transforming difficult relationships into productive partnerships. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00 How does Dr. William Ury's extensive background in negotiation and anthropology shape his approach to conflict resolution? What drew Dr. Ury to the field of negotiation and conflict mediation early in his career? How does Dr. Ury define the concept of a "possibilist" and its significance in today's world? Understanding Conflict – 05:02 Why does Dr. Ury believe that more conflict is necessary for growth and change? How does he differentiate between destructive and constructive conflict? What is the importance of "going to the balcony" in managing conflict effectively? The Power of Pausing – 13:04 What role does pausing play in reducing emotional reactivity during negotiations? How can the simple act of pausing transform a negotiation's outcome? What is the magic question you can use to find the best compromise in a negotiation? Building the Golden Bridge – 25:15 What is the "golden bridge" strategy and how can it facilitate successful negotiations? How does listening actively help in building a golden bridge for the other side? Why is it crucial to understand your own objectives and the underlying interests behind them? How can you prepare effectively for a negotiation by considering the other side’s perspective? What You Must Avoid in Negotiations – 30:14 What are the three common pitfalls in negotiation and how can you avoid them? What steps can you take to create a collaborative atmosphere in negotiations? Leveraging Curiosity and Creativity – 33:21 How does curiosity drive creativity in finding solutions during negotiations? What are some effective "what if" questions to ask that open up new possibilities? How can separating evaluation from creation enhance the brainstorming process in negotiations? Transforming Relationships through Conflict – 39:31 How does engaging in conflict with curiosity and respect transform relationships? Why is focusing on long-term relationship building more beneficial than seeking short-term wins? How can understanding and articulating mutual interests lead to successful conflict resolution? The Victory Speech Exercise – 52:23 What is the "victory speech" exercise and how can it shift the negotiation dynamic? How did Dr. Ury use this exercise to help de-escalate tensions between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un? Why is envisioning the other side’s victory speech a powerful tool in negotiation? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we dive into the intricacies of workplace dynamics, career satisfaction, and professional growth with Tessa West, a leading expert in the science of interpersonal communication. Tessa is a professor of psychology at New York University and one of the world's top researchers on social perception. Her acclaimed work includes the books "Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them" and her latest release, "Job Therapy: Finding Work That Works for You" available July 23, 2024.  Join us for an insightful conversation with Tessa West, where she unpacks the complexities of workplace dynamics and career satisfaction. How can you turn a difficult coworker into an ally? What are the exact questions to ask when networking to ensure you land the best job offers? Tessa shares her top strategies for identifying the top 5 career frustrations and navigating them effectively, drawing from her extensive research and personal experiences. Discover how to leverage your network in salary negotiations and the critical steps to finding work that truly fulfills you. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does Tessa West's background in social perception and psychology inform her insights on workplace dynamics? What are the psychological tensions people experience at work that Tessa identifies in her book? How can fear of uncertainty and status loss impact career decisions? The Five Key Drivers of Career Frustration – [00:11:59] What are the top sources of career frustration that Tessa outlines in "Job Therapy"? How can understanding these drivers help in navigating career satisfaction? Balancing Fulfillment and Compensation – [00:17:14] What are the common trade-offs between career fulfillment and financial security? How does being embedded at work complicate career changes and personal fulfillment? How can strong team cohesion negatively impact individual recognition and promotion prospects? Strategic Networking for Career Growth – [00:26:45] What specific questions should you ask when networking to explore career fit? How can you create a coherent and compelling narrative of your career journey? What are the risks of taking on non-promotion-relevant roles in search of fulfillment? Articulating Your Contribution to Company Outcomes – [00:38:02] Why is it crucial to understand and articulate how your work contributes to broader company goals? How can you effectively communicate your role in achieving company outcomes? What is the importance of having a broad network beyond your immediate workplace? How can networking outside your organization enhance your career prospects? Asking Tough Questions During Networking – [00:45:15] Why should you ask tough questions about status and promotion prospects when networking? How can feedback from former colleagues provide insights into your career advancement? Effective Networking Strategies – [00:51:27] What practical advice does Tessa give for effective networking? How can you approach potential contacts and ask the right questions to build meaningful connections? Insightful Questions During Job Interviews – [00:56:07] Why insightful questions should you ask during a job interview? What specific questions can help you ensure a good fit with a potential employer? How can embracing awkwardness and having tough conversations lead to finding fulfilling work? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we explore the complex intersections of military service, intelligence work, and mental health with Dave Fielding, a decorated US Army Green Beret turned intelligence officer and mental health advocate. David's distinguished career includes service in high-stakes operations such as Operation Inherent Resolve and Operation Enduring Freedom, earning him a Bronze Star. As the author of Into the Darkness: A Journey of Love, War, and Emotional Freedom, David brings a unique perspective on emotional intelligence, the struggles of returning to civilian life, and the silent battles faced by veterans.  Join us for an enlightening conversation with Dave Fielding, where he unveils powerful strategies for navigating the challenges of military life and transitioning to civilian life. How can emotional intelligence transform your relationships and leadership skills? What are the secrets to building rapid rapport across diverse cultures? David shares his personal battle with suicidal thoughts and how he overcame them, offering invaluable insights for those struggling with similar issues. Discover the significance of understanding motivations and learn practical advice that can help you foster stronger connections. Don't miss this episode, filled with heartfelt stories and actionable tips. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does David Fielding's unique background shape his perspective on emotional intelligence and mental health? What pivotal moments in David's career as a Green Beret and intelligence officer define his journey? The Green Beret Secret to Building Rapid Rapport – 12:40 How can understanding motivations help you build instant connections with others? What techniques does David use to create deep connections across diverse cultures? How to Overcome Your Darkest Struggles – 17:40 Why did Dave go from Special Forces to mental health advocacy and what was that shift like? What strategies did David employ to overcome his suicidal thoughts? How can others facing similar struggles find their way out of the darkness? How to Reframe Challenges into Life Changing Opportunities – 33:13 How can reframing your perspective help you tackle seemingly insurmountable challenges? What practical steps can you take to reframe and find meaning in difficult situations? The Power of Understanding Motivations – 43:16 How can understanding the motivations of others improve your leadership and relationships? David discusses the significance of asking “why” in conversations. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we delve into the fascinating world of behavior design with BJ Fogg, a renowned behavior scientist and founder of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University. BJ’s pioneering work focuses on understanding and influencing human behavior through innovative models and methods. His groundbreaking research, including the widely acclaimed Fogg Behavior Model and the Tiny Habits method, has been featured in prominent publications such as The New York Times and Forbes. BJ shares his insights on how tiny changes can lead to significant transformations, debunks common myths about habit formation, and offers practical strategies for creating lasting positive behaviors. Join us for an insightful conversation with BJ Fogg, where he reveals the secrets to designing behaviors that lead to lasting change. Discover how tiny habits can transform your life, why common myths about habit formation are misleading, and how to create positive habits effortlessly. Plus, explore the importance of celebration and positive emotions in reinforcing new behaviors. Don't miss this episode packed with practical tips and strategies to help you build habits that stick and achieve your goals! What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the most common myths about habit formation and why they are misleading? What are tiny habits and how can they lead to significant changes? Practical examples of tiny habits you can implement in your daily life. How can you leverage your emotions to rapidly create great habits – 10:57 Why are positive emotions crucial for habit formation? The concept of celebration and how it accelerates habit development. Practical Application of Tiny Habits – 16:01 How do you design tiny habits into your existing routines? Real-life examples of how tiny habits can transform your behavior. The Secret to Breaking Bad Habits – 32:30 Strategies for untangling bad habits and creating lasting change. The three phases of the Behavior Change Master Plan. Technology and Behavior Change – 43:01 How does technology positively and negatively impact your habits? Practical tips for managing screen time and fostering positive behaviors. Tiny Habits for Kids – 49:20 How parents can use tiny habits to instill good behaviors in children. The importance of creating an environment that celebrates and reinforces positive change. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we explore high-value dating with Liesel Sharabi, an associate professor and Director of the Relationships and Technology Lab at Arizona State University. Liesel’s research delves into the impact of communication technologies on romantic relationships, particularly through online dating and mobile apps. Her work, featured in top journals and media outlets like The Wall Street Journal and NPR, examines how AI and virtual reality are reshaping modern romance. Liesel shares her expertise on creating authentic online profiles, managing choice overload, setting realistic expectations, and using AI to find meaningful connections. Join us for an insightful conversation with Liesel Sharabi, where she reveals the secrets to creating an authentic online dating profile that ignites meaningful connections. Discover how to navigate the overwhelming choices on dating apps to make better decisions, manage your expectations, and find serious relationships in the digital world. Plus, explore the game-changing role of AI in modern dating. Don't miss this episode packed with tips and strategies to enhance your online dating experience! What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is Liesel Sharabi, and how did she get involved in the world of dating at an academic level? How did online dating change the way we perceive dating and what we look for in potential partners? The Hidden Impact of Dating Apps on Long Term Relationships – 13:51 How are dating apps hurting your ability to connect on a deeper level with potential partners? What mindset should you adopt if you actually want to find a partner on dating apps and not get stuck in an endless loop of matches that don’t go anywhere? Is more technology really the solution to the dating hellscape – 23:45 What are companies in the dating “industry” doing to solve the problems many people are encountering around loneliness and how are those “solutions” making things worse? Should you use AI to improve your results on dating apps? Are people still meeting other people in real life? – 31:14 What is easier about starting relationships with people you meet in real life and what is harder about starting relationships with people you meet online? How have dating apps changed cultural norms and expectations for each gender? The effects of dating apps on marriage/divorce rates – 41:39 How have dating apps changed the landscape of marriage and long term commitment? What does the future of dating and dating apps look like, and how can you prepare for it? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we help you avoid low value behaviors and master high value ones with AJ and Johnny. In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ and Johnny delve into the dynamics of high and low value behaviors and their impact on your personal and professional relationships. Ever wondered how to take control of your social interactions and ensure they lead to meaningful connections? AJ and Johnny explore the crucial distinctions between high value and low value behaviors, offering practical insights on how to elevate your social value. Learn how to harness the power of responsibility and cooperation, and discover why honesty and generosity are pivotal in forming strong, lasting relationships. How can you balance being cooperative without being taken advantage of? What steps can you take to become a high value individual in every aspect of your life? Tune in to uncover actionable strategies backed by science and real-life experiences to transform your interactions and boost your value. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you identify patterns of high and low value behaviors in yourself and others, and what can you do to change those behaviors in yourself? What specific behaviors lead to long-term success and positive relationships? The 3 low value behaviors you must avoid – 5:36 How to navigate social interactions by giving value and avoiding common pitfalls. What behaviors consistently build strong relationships? The role of attention in building value – 10:14 What is the most powerful (and easiest) form of value you can give when talking to someone? What two behaviors transform your social interactions? Most people miss the connection between value and responsibility – 18:30 Why do high value people seek out more responsibility than everyone else? How do low value people avoid responsibility to shift blame when things go wrong? This one thing is crucial if you want to be high value – 23:52 How does honesty build trust and strengthen relationships? What are the detrimental effects of lying and manipulation on your value and relationships? The long-term benefits of giving value – 28:15 Real-life examples of how giving value without expecting immediate returns can lead to significant long-term benefits. How do you build a supportive social circle that pushes you to succeed and helps you out when you’re going through tough times? Practical Tips for Giving Value – 40:58 Simple and practical ways to give value in everyday interactions. Examples of how giving value can lead to unexpected rewards and strengthen relationships. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we help you identify and avoid low value behaviors with AJ and Johnny. In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ and Johnny dive deep into the psychology of value and behavior. Have you ever wondered if your actions unknowingly sabotage your social interactions? What behaviors might be holding you back from forming meaningful connections? AJ and Johnny explore how to identify and eliminate low value behaviors that keep you from connecting with others. Discover the three critical elements of value—attention, approval, and acceptance—and learn how to nurture high value behaviors that attract positive relationships. What does the science say about the benefits of being a high value individual? How can you balance being generous without being taken advantage of? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is understanding value important in forming meaningful connections? What will you learn about identifying and eliminating low value behaviors? What are low value behaviors you need to avoid? – 02:08 What are supplicative behaviors, and how do they manifest in social interactions? How does the victim mentality negatively impact your value? Why is it important to avoid combative behaviors, and how can they harm your relationships? The dangers of social media most people ignore – 14:06 How does social media manipulate our need for attention, approval, and acceptance? What are the dangers of seeking validation through social media? Most people fail to escape this mindset that cripples them – 24:48 Why is a competitive mindset still considered low value? How does the scarcity mindset fuel unhealthy competition? What are the pitfalls of constantly comparing yourself to others? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we dive into the dynamic world of sports and leadership with Craig Robinson. Craig is a distinguished college basketball coach, basketball executive, and podcaster. A former standout player at Princeton, he was twice named Ivy League Player of the Year. Transitioning from a successful finance career, Craig pursued his passion for coaching, leading teams at Boston University and Oregon State University. He has held executive roles with the New York Knicks and Milwaukee Bucks and is now the Executive Director of the National Association of Basketball Coaches. Craig co-hosts the podcast "Ways to Win" with John Calipari, sharing life lessons and strategies from his extensive on-court experience, making his insights valuable beyond the basketball world. Craig Robinson shares his insights on the evolving landscape of leadership and coaching. How has the role of empathy and communication transformed modern coaching? What strategies can you use to build momentum in both your personal and professional life? Craig also delves into his courageous transition from a successful finance career to pursuing his passion for coaching—what challenges did he face, and what rewards did he reap? Additionally, discover practical advice on how to identify and nurture young leaders, manage setbacks effectively, and leverage likability to foster team cohesion. Join us as we uncover these answers and more with Craig Robinson, a leader whose experience spans from the basketball court to the executive office.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is Craig Robinson, and how has his diverse career from finance to coaching shaped his approach to leadership? What are the key differences between the authoritarian coaching styles of the past and the empathetic approaches of today? What motivated Craig to transition from a successful finance career to coaching basketball? Empathy and Communication in Leadership – 19:27 Why is empathy crucial for modern leaders and coaches? How can understanding and meeting people where they are enhance your effectiveness as a leader? Insights from "Ways to Win" Podcast – 25:38 Key takeaways from Craig’s podcast, including building personal relationships with team members and creating a culture of accountability. Lessons from prominent guests like Dave Roberts and Dawn Staley on leadership and team dynamics. Identifying and Nurturing Young Leaders – 30:29 What attributes and talents should you look for when identifying potential young leaders? Strategies for nurturing and developing leadership skills in young individuals. Managing Setbacks and Defeat – 34:17 How can you quickly recover from setbacks and losses in both sports and professional environments? Practical advice on managing the psychological impact of defeat and maintaining a forward-looking mindset. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we dive into the world of human connection with David Robson. David is an award-winning writer specializing in the psychology and neuroscience of human relationships. With a rich background in scientific journalism and a degree in mathematics from the University of Cambridge, David has dedicated his career to exploring the intricate ways we bond and interact with each other. His work has been widely recognized and featured in top-tier publications such as The Guardian, The Atlantic, and BBC Future. David is also the author of The Laws of Connection, a profound exploration into the science behind how we form lasting connections. In today’s episode, David Robson reveals the secrets to building stronger social connections through the latest psychological research. He explains the profound impact of social ties on our physical health, the importance of overcoming the "liking gap," and how to effectively use follow-up questions to create shared realities. David also shares strategies for rebuilding our social skills post-pandemic, the power of expressing appreciation, and how the Benjamin Franklin effect can strengthen our relationships.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is David Robson, and how can his insights on human connection and psychology transform your personal and professional relationships? How do social connections affect your health, and what diseases can they help protect against? Why is it important to recognize and manage ambivalent relationships effectively? What barriers prevent you from connecting with others – 10:40 What is the "liking gap," and how does it prevent you from forming deeper connections? How can you recalibrate your perceptions to overcome these psychological barriers? What questions can you ask to rapidly build deep connections? – 24:24 What types of questions are most effective for building deeper connections? How can you move past small talk quickly to create meaningful conversations? What overlooked expression can drastically improve your relationship with anyone at work and in your personal life? How can you rebuild your social skills post-pandemic? – 47:51 How has the pandemic affected our social skills, and what strategies can help you rebuild them? Why is practicing daily interactions with strangers crucial for maintaining social confidence? What is the Benjamin Franklin Effect and how can it strengthen relationships? – 51:30 What is the Benjamin Franklin effect, and how can asking for small favors strengthen your relationships? How can you apply this effect in your daily life to enhance your social bonds? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle the art of building deep connections with Topaz Adizes. Topaz is an Emmy award-winning director, writer, and experienced design architect. With a background in philosophy from UC Berkeley and Oxford University, Topaz has made significant contributions to the fields of intimacy and human connection through his groundbreaking project, The And. His work has been showcased at prestigious festivals such as Cannes and Sundance, and featured in top publications like The New Yorker and The New York Times. Topaz is also the author of 12 Questions for Love: A Guide to Intimate Conversations and Deeper Relationships. In today’s episode, Topaz Adizes shares why questions are so powerful for creating deep bonds, how to create space for intimate conversations in our lives, when to bring logic in to deepen a relationship conversation, and the secret to developing emotional articulation with your partner. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is Topaz Adizes, and how can his insights on communication and relationships transform your career and personal life? How can asking the right questions unlock deeper connections and enhance your leadership skills? What’s the secret to creating a space where your team or partner feels safe to be vulnerable and authentic? Surprising revelations from over 1200 intimate conversations – 11:00 What surprising revelations did Topaz uncover from over 1200 intimate conversations, and how can they apply to your high-stakes professional environment? Practical tips for emotional articulation – 20:15 How can mastering emotional articulation make you a more effective leader and improve your team’s performance? What are the 12 questions that can revolutionize your personal and professional relationships, and how should you use them? Real-life applications that will change your life – 32:29 How have others used Topaz’s methods to transform their relationships and careers, and what can you learn from their experiences? How can you create intentional spaces for deep conversations that foster trust and innovation within your team? Lessons on communication that no one tells us – 45:11 What techniques can you use to enhance your communication skills and build stronger connections with your team and loved ones? How do different cultures approach intimate conversations, and what can you learn from their methods to improve your own interactions? Why is it crucial to ask better questions in your professional and personal life, and how can this practice accelerate your career growth? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle making friends as an adult with AJ, Johnny, and coach Michael Herold.  Delve into the complexities of making and maintaining friendships as an adult. Why do many adults struggle with loneliness and how can propinquity—or the strategic use of proximity—open doors to new and lasting connections? Whether you're a seasoned professional or a social novice, this episode offers actionable strategies to enhance your social life and deepen your relationships. Tune in to discover how you can turn social opportunities into a thriving network of genuine connections, and learn why mastering the Art of Charm is more essential today than ever before. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can understanding propinquity transform your approach to forming social connections? What alarming trends about loneliness were revealed in recent global surveys? How do you start building new relationships and make new friends? – 11:24 How does remote work affect team cohesion and personal relationships at work? What scientific principles can help in forming deep and lasting friendships? Many underestimate the value of this when it comes to making friends – 24:38 How can re-engaging with old hobbies or exploring new passions rejuvenate your social life? What practical steps can you take to weave social opportunities into your everyday activities? What are you doing to push new people away from being your friend? – 34:06 How can recognizing and reducing friction in social interactions facilitate the formation of friendships? What practical steps can you take to lessen the burden on potential friends and make it easier for them to engage with you? How do develop a plan for a vibrant social life – 28:32 What are the benefits of having a structured plan for social interactions? How does consistency in social activities lead to stronger and more meaningful relationships? What practical steps can you take to lessen the burden on potential friends and make it easier for them to engage with you? Introducing the Social Sales Funnel Concept – 44:55 What is the Social Sales Funnel, and how can it help you build a thriving social network? How can hosting a monthly event streamline the process of turning acquaintances into friends? What strategies can ensure the success of such gatherings, encouraging new connections to flourish? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle death with Jodi Wellman. Jodi is a former executive turned executive coach. She has a Master of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where she's an instructor in the master's program and a trainer in the world renowned Penn Resilience Program. And she is the author of You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.  Jodi Wellman reveals essential strategies for transforming your professional stagnation into dynamic success and underscores the importance of quantifying your remaining Monday mornings to infuse purpose into your career, eliminating regrets before they hinder your progress. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can thinking about death enhance your career and life ambitions? Why should you calculate how many Mondays you have left? Focus on this to improve your performance and happiness at work – 10:15 Gain insights on the value of time and how precise awareness of it can enhance your decision-making and prioritization at the managerial or C-suite level Most people are held back from success by their ‘dead zones’ – 18:10 What are 'dead zones' and how can identifying them transform your professional growth and personal fulfillment? How can facing the reality of mortality inspire urgent career and personal development? How does the pandemic influence our perception of time and opportunities for growth? – 26:17 Understand the psychological impacts of COVID-19 on our ambitions and social interactions, with tips for re-engaging with life and work post-pandemic. How do you bake your own 'happiness pie' and take charge of your life satisfaction? – 31:19 How do you start moving from 'dead zones' to 'astonishingly alive zones'? How can the concept of fighting for your life goals redefine your approach to career and personal ambitions? – 42:39 What is the importance of self-compassion and forgiveness in pursuing a life without regrets? Episode Sponsors: Indeed Kajabi Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle mind magic and manifestation with Dr. James Doty. James is an inventor, an entrepreneur, and philanthropist. He is a clinical professor of neurosurgery at Stanford University and the founder and director of Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education with the Dalai Lama himself as the founding benefactor. His new book is titled Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything.  We break down the systems in the brain responsible for shaping your beliefs and actions, how you can harness the power of your subconscious mind to reach your goals faster, why you need to visualize your success in detail to make it a reality, And James shares his own experiences with the magic of our mind. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is mind magic and what does science say about the legitimacy of manifestation? This is where most people go wrong trying to manifest their desires – 10:15 Where do most of us go wrong with manifestation versus what should we be focusing on with our manifestation to actually be whole, to be living a rich and fulfilling life? How can we use our neural networks to increase the chances of manifesting what we want? The secret to focusing in a world of neverending distractions – 24:17 How are self-compassion, focus, and manifestation linked together? How should you define success if you are trying to manifest success for yourself or others? What should you focus on if you want to manifest what you want – 34:21 What is the most important aspect of life you need to focus on if you want physical and mental health and a long life? How does commitment to action transform intentions into reality? – 39:06 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle the world of high stakes hostage negotiation in a divided world with Scott Walker. Scott is one of the world’s most experienced kidnapped-for-ransom negotiators. He served 16 years as a Scotland Yard detective specializing in covert policing, then supported organizations, governments, and private individuals in negotiating the release of hostages all over the world, and is the author of his the latest book, Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator's Guide to Influence and Persuasion. You’re going to learn how to prepare for high stakes situations like a hostage negotiator. We discuss how to quickly build rapport with people that you do not share common interests with, what to listen for in negotiations to create a winning outcome, how to develop your emotional intelligence to be successful under stress, and the secrets hostage negotiators use to bring back hostages safely. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How frequently do people get kidnapped and held for ransom? What are the biggest challenges that hostage negotiators face? The first 30 seconds of a hostage situation are crucial for this reason – 15:53 What secret do hostage negotiators use to rapidly build trust with anyone? What 30 second practice do hostage negotiators use to prepare themselves for every high stakes situation? What consequences do kidnappers actually face? – 24:25 How do you cultivate the right mindset to be a master negotiator? What can you do to predict the biggest hurdles you’ll need to overcome in any negotiation? What are the 3 elements to every negotiation and how can you use them in your everyday life to build strong relationships? Most people mistakenly think this is when the negotiation ends – 39:34 How should you think about negotiations on a short- and long-term basis to make sure you don’t hurt your reputation or future potential opportunities? Hostage negotiators have to care about the kidnappers – 48:36 How do hostage negotiators raise their self awareness before entering high stakes situations? How do you master your emotions like a hostage negotiator by simply asking yourself specific questions? What are the biggest takeaways from Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator's Guide to Influence and Persuasion? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle building relationships in a divided world with Dr. Kurt Gray. Kurt is an award-winning researcher and moral psychologist with deep insights into human behavior and polarization. As a professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, he directs the Deepest Beliefs Lab and the Center for the Science of Moral Understanding. He is also the author of The Mind Club: Who Thinks, What Feels, and Why It Matters, exploring the intricacies of how we perceive and judge others in society.  Have you ever considered how rising polarization affects our ability to forge strong, meaningful relationships? What if bridging the vast divide between differing viewpoints could be achieved by examining our moral compass and the inherent blind spots it creates? Dive into a compelling discussion with Dr. Kurt Gray, who sheds light on the subtle yet profound ways morality shapes our perceptions of others. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are Dr. Gray's strategies for strengthening relationships across ideological divides? How do our default settings of fear and the search for allies affect our political and social views? This is why most people can’t engage in tough conversations – 14:09 Why is it challenging to discuss politics and morality today?  What are the key strategies for overcoming polarization and enhancing communication in today's divided world? The secret to bridging political polarization – 24:38 Why is validating someone's views crucial in conversations, and how can it be done without agreeing? Why are personal stories more powerful than facts in changing perspectives? The evolving nature of political identities – 36:17 How have our political identities evolved over time, and what does that mean for our current views? How significant is the overlap of values shared between different political parties, and why is it often overlooked? What misconceptions do we hold about political polarization, and how can understanding the past help us better navigate the present? The predator vs prey narrative in politics – 47:17 How does viewing political opponents as predators or prey affect our ability to engage in meaningful conversations? What are the 3 steps to connecting with people who you disagree with? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices