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The Bitch Bible

Author: Dear Media, Jackie Schimmel

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A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits.

Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible," and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.
382 Episodes
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The Hills Have Spies

The Hills Have Spies

2023-02-0756:03

Jackie reveals the gender of her demon seed, champions Child Labor Laws, recaps the Grammy Awards and advises Pamela Anderson on her eyebrows.  
Once Upon A Mormon...

Once Upon A Mormon...

2023-01-3145:56

Jackie almost has a euphoric encounter with a Mormon but unstead gets sold solar panels after witnessing a geriatric woman being dragged by a great dane. She also discusses "Vanilla Girl" aesthetic trends and the altercation between Caroline Manzo and Brandi Glanville.   Produced By Dear Media
Soup for The Soul

Soup for The Soul

2023-01-2544:28

Jackie delivers a moving poem to Lenny Hochstein, explains how she ended up at a real housewives shabbat dinner and ruins any chance of being invited to Tulum with Selena Gomez. Produced By Dear Media
Mama Bear!

Mama Bear!

2023-01-1757:34

Jackie has been keeping a secret and is with child. She blames "hormones" while she alienates most of her audience by eviscerating women on the internet, organizing a march to exterminate birdlife and recaps some general pop culture happenings.   Produced By Dear Media
HaPpY 2023 xO jAcKiE!

HaPpY 2023 xO jAcKiE!

2023-01-0345:39

After a week long sabbatical Jackie is back just in time for some New Years perspective to discourage you and remind you that change is not in your future. She shares why all the recap reels trigger her to a time she bled on a futon at Living Spaces and why tapeworms are your only hope.   Produced By Dear Media
Jackie accidentally ingests aluminum foil, has a come to Jesus moment over a 1 star review, has another psychotic break about why she can't get guests and deep dives Jen Shah's counterfeit bags.
Hard Boiled Bitch

Hard Boiled Bitch

2022-12-1347:19

Jackie addresses "hard boiled egg girls", why headbands are the devil, Harry and Megan and the White Lotus finale!
Petty Hurts!

Petty Hurts!

2022-12-0746:58

Jackie embraces the holiday season and celebrates the freeing element of hate in all forms. She talks about why hair accessories trigger her, petty bitches, Balenciaga, Kanye's latest rant and her one sided beef with Megan Markle.
Winter Is Coming.

Winter Is Coming.

2022-11-2950:31

Jackie enters the holiday season with a bang. She is tackling Balenciaga, tufted furniture, and everything else in her fraudulently festive wake. Grab your jingle balls and buckle up this episode is a RIDE.
Jackie enters the holiday season with tips on how not to embarrass yourself, discusses some Katink fashion philosophies and how she broke up Harry and Olivia.   Produced By Dear Media
Keep One Eye Open

Keep One Eye Open

2022-11-1649:20

Jackie recaps her Harry Styles experience, reflects on why people hate her and dodges pink eye from Grandma Gloria   Produced By Dear Media
Quality Control.

Quality Control.

2022-11-1150:51

After collosally fucking up her pre-recorded episode Jackie shows the integrity of a true professional by freeballing a new episode all in the pursuit of quality control. She talks home decor, Selena Gomez and gives an exciting holiday update on friend of the show Cheryl!
Shabby Shriek

Shabby Shriek

2022-11-0145:38

Jackie has a psychotic break after trying to help write music for local small businesses, has a stroke at Jennifer Lopez's home decor and offers Beverley Mitchell an open cash reward to come appear on the show.
Calcutta Bitch

Calcutta Bitch

2022-10-2644:51

Jackie recaps her journey to Anaheim, reviews Taylor Swift's new album and gives you some do's and don'ts for Halloween!   Produced By Dear Media
Feral 4 Cheryl

Feral 4 Cheryl

2022-10-1855:00

Jackie reminisces on her old neighbor Cheryl, makes a case for child labor and dissects housewives fashion and her first time pretending to do cocaine!    
Jewish Not Homeless

Jewish Not Homeless

2022-10-1101:04:21

Jackie and new friend Ali Kolbert enter an ever timely conversation on feminist issues, fronting the homeless crisis, self esteem and scissoring! 
Bonergainvillea

Bonergainvillea

2022-10-0444:55

Jackie discusses fetishizing, her recap of "Don't Worry Darling", donating her eggs and why she stands with Kathy Hilton.   Produced By Dear Media
Jackie celebrates the Jewish New Year by repenting for her sins and making amends to the woman she sabotaged at the Gucci outlet. She also recaps her family discussing her abortion at Rosh Hashanah and why her and Andrew may move to China. L'chaim!   Produced By Dear Media
Je Suis Yahabibi

Je Suis Yahabibi

2022-09-2047:231

Jackie is back from Paris and breaks down her trip including the time she lost the opportunity to be a Princess and get a Birkin bag, pays homage to Leonardo Dicaprio and how to cast a love spell with period blood. The range!
I'm Worried Darling.

I'm Worried Darling.

2022-09-1349:50

Jackie fantasizes about Michael Buble retiring, chats FASHION WEEK, gives a PSA on sex trafficking and breaks down the psychological trauma of the "Don't Worry Darling" press tour.  
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Comments (28)

God of Misery

I like to spray my sperm on your face

Dec 15th
Reply

Emily Grace

I 💖 that DJ James Kennedy answered. Your MoM was great! I'm glad you and your MoM have these memories. Thanks for believing there's no such thing as oversharing! We 💖 you, Jackie!

Nov 12th
Reply

Colt Stehr

Regardless, it's exquisite information. Investigating from gifted music makers https://www.myccpay.app/

Apr 22nd
Reply

Miki Minach

are you familiar with the organized crime called #gangstalking yet?

Apr 5th
Reply

levans8381

episode doesn't want to play!

Jan 22nd
Reply

levans8381

love this pod, Jackie says what we're all thinking.

Nov 4th
Reply

Vasyl Datsyuk

Hey, Jackie! Haven't listened to your podcast yet. But, I bet you strike a right tone on being positive ;).

Oct 5th
Reply

Kim Brennan

Jeff Lewis was talking about a friend that was pregnant, obviously not her 😆

Nov 18th
Reply

Liliana Trevino

I can't count how many times I dream of my husband cheating..

Oct 22nd
Reply

Samantha Palacios

love the podcast just started listening recently after getting bored with music during my long af 12 hour shifts! first heard you on call her daddy with our founding single glorious father Alex Cooper and I gotta say I am obsessed with your show! you're keeping me awake at work girl and that's a tough job to do!

Sep 30th
Reply

Alisha T

Jackie. I find you to be absolutely hysterical. I love your show. You put me into the best mood and make me feel like a more badass version of my self. Thanks for being real and making my days much more entertaining.

Jun 15th
Reply

Jessica Olson

how can there be no comments on BIG DICK ENERGY??!!??!!??

Mar 1st
Reply

Liz Gallardo

Gtfoh!!! Noo! Girl! Why?!? Really? I liked your podcast cast because you were real! You pull that Christmas Music is rapey bullshit. I can’t!

Dec 6th
Reply

Melissa Galvan Chavez

just started listening to podcasts and I really love yours lol you say things I wish I could

Nov 23rd
Reply

Kari Momchilovich

come to Minnesota!

Nov 19th
Reply (1)

Shari Urbancic

Agree with Sue. I didn't get any kind of condescending attitude from Nick at all. Plus, nothing Jackie said regarding her feeling that she is "masculine" made zero sense and I'm glad Nick called her out on it.

Sep 20th
Reply

Sue w

Hi Jackie I don't know where your getting the feeling the Nick was making you feel stupid in any way.... I don't hear that at all in this podcast... Glad you went on his and that things are better

Sep 19th
Reply

Walter Carter

Eat my warm bagel.

Aug 9th
Reply

Teagan Dayton

love it!!

Mar 21st
Reply

CristiBdoin

I started through watch what crappens, then Annibelle heard you on Stassi and Annibelle a long time ago. after hearing you on their podcast I had to find and follow you..i get so excited when I see my notification for you. xoxo don't ever stop you make me feel normal. i hate people and babies ugh. and my husband does everything for me too. ivr cooked maybe 2x in 7 yrs :) you are my friend in my head. like Wendy says "How you doin"

Mar 6th
Reply
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