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The Connected Life

Author: Justin and Abi Stumvoll

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The Connected Life is a thought-provoking conversation about all the beautiful and messy ups and downs of life. Join Life Consultants Justin & Abi Stumvoll as they share vulnerable stories and practical wisdom that will lead you on a journey of connecting with yourself, others, and the world right in front of you. Their authentic, no-BS style will make you laugh, challenge you to dig deep, face your fears, and inspire you to love yourself and others more.
304 Episodes
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308: Body Based Healing

308: Body Based Healing

2024-11-2501:05:00

Few people imagine that their bodies play an instrumental role in the repair process on the journey to emotional wholeness. Most people see the body as a separate entity from everything else. Because of this, they can find themselves unnecessarily bumping into a glass ceiling for years. But what if that could all change? In this episode, Abi and Justin are joined by friend and fellow Life Consultant Rachel Hughes to discuss how integrating an understanding of your body and its nervous system can exponentially change how you experience mental and emotional wholeness. They explore the 4f responses, share how connection to your body is crucial to moving through them, and give powerful tips on restoring a sense of safety and peace to your experience of life.  If you’ve found yourself experiencing any of the feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, overwhelm, panic, and many other emotions, this episode is a game changer for the process of creating peace and connection with yourself and others. Don’t miss out! Enrollment for Reclaiming You is happening now! Sign up at: www.justinandabi.com/reclaimingyou Now through Cyber Monday SAVE $100 on Reclaiming You at the check out when you use the code: theconnectedlife You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
The secret to creating a fulfilled life often seems like a mystery everyone is searching for. We travel down countless paths, hoping to find something outside ourselves to quench an inner sense of dissatisfaction. But what if the answer we’re seeking is as close as the nearest mirror? In this episode, Justin and Abi dive into the power of personal reconciliation. Justin candidly shares his journey of realizing he was his own greatest enemy—and how becoming his own greatest advocate changed everything. Together, they discuss practical steps to repair this relationship and share stories of how their clients' lives transformed when they chose this path. If you listen to only one episode, make it this one. You won’t be disappointed! Enrollment for Reclaiming You is happening now! Sign up at: www.justinandabi.com/reclaimingyou Now through Cyber Monday, at the checkout SAVE $100 on Reclaiming You when you use the code: theconnectedlife You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
In part two of this powerful series, Abi and Justin unpack what it truly means to feel regulated—and why it matters in every relationship. Discover how partners co-create a shared nervous system that affects everyone involved and get practical, game-changing strategies for building a space of love and connection through self-regulation. Plus, listen in as they share real apologies, acknowledging the impact their own dysregulation has had on each other. Ready to transform your relationships? This episode is packed with insights that can shift how you connect, love, and communicate. Don’t miss it!
We’ve all been in situations where conflict slowly builds between us and someone else, only to find ourselves acting in ways we’re not proud of. Suddenly, we’re asking, “How did I get here, and how can I stop this from happening again?” Yet, we often repeat these cycles, unsure of how to break free. It’s challenging for everyone involved—but there are solutions! In part one of this two-part episode, Justin and Abi explore how our nervous system can throw a massive monkey wrench into relational dynamics. They also share critical telltale signs of a dysregulated nervous system. Lastly, they open up about their own marriage and apologize to one another for how their dysregulation has impacted each other. This two part series is a game changer for any relationship. You won’t want to miss out! Also, enrollment for Reclaiming You is happening now! Sign up at: www.justinandabi.com/reclaimingyou You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
304: Honoring Your Capacity

304: Honoring Your Capacity

2024-10-2801:02:07

We're wired to seek love, approval, and affirmation—even when it pushes us to the breaking point. But what happens when life knocks you down so hard that performing is no longer an option? In this raw and eye-opening episode, Abi shares about her battle with PTSD and how it shattered her ability to keep up appearances. She dives into the toll of self-neglect, fueled by a 'can-do' attitude that led to burnout, and the pressure of maintaining a public image while struggling behind the scenes. From the expectations of always being "on" to how filming this very podcast triggered some of her darkest moments, Abi’s story is a powerful reminder that we all have limits. If you've been pushing yourself to the edge, this episode is a must-listen. It’s time to pause, check in, and show yourself some compassion. Don’t miss it! Enrollment for Reclaiming You is happening now! Sign up at: www.justinandabi.com/reclaimingyou You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
In Part 2 of this series, Justin and Abi are once again joined by Johnny and Pietze for an in-depth look at secure functioning and the power of collaboration in creating a balanced partnership. Johnny and Pietze introduce a powerful alternative to "lawyering" called "microscopic truth," a way to communicate authentically and honestly that deepens connection and trust. They wrap up the conversation by discussing the importance of meeting each other's needs through a win-win approach and how fully accepting one another creates a relationship grounded in honor and respect. If you’re wanting tools and perspectives to help create a relationship with a solid foundation and mutual care, this series is just want you’re looking for! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Creating a secure, lasting partnership with someone we love is A LOT of work! It can be especially difficult when we don’t have a roadmap. But don’t lose hope, we’ve got your back! In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their close friends Johnny and Pietze for a deep dive into the phases of a relationship. From the thrill of infatuation to the delicate dance of negotiating needs, they discuss the shift from codependence to interdependence and the importance of creating a collaborative relationship where the focus is on protecting, caring for, and nurturing the relationship itself rather than just the individuals involved. Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been together for years, this two-part series offers valuable insights to help you create a secure and thriving partnership! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
301: Boundaries with Kids

301: Boundaries with Kids

2024-10-0701:02:42

The battle between parents and their children is real! In many homes, parents either feel overrun by their kids, or they rule with an iron fist. But what if there was a way to create a balanced environment filled with mutual respect and love? In this episode, Habit Coach and friend Jenna Zint joins Abi and Justin for a deep dive into setting boundaries with your children and navigating the emotional challenges of parenthood. They discuss the common triggers parents face and how feelings of failure can prevent the creation of healthy boundaries. They also explore how to care for yourself while attending to your child’s needs, how to communicate with your child about the impact of their behavior, and how to foster a regulated emotional environment through self-regulation. If you’re looking for a parenting approach that embraces balance, nuance, and accountability, this episode offers practical insights on developing a healthier, more connected family dynamic. Don’t miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
It’s common for people to ask, “What am I doing with my life?” There’s a natural curiosity within us that seeks to understand our purpose on earth. The journey to discover what we’re created for can often feel overwhelming, but maybe it doesn’t have to be so complicated. In this 300th episode, Abi and Justin reflect on the humble beginnings of their marriage and the daunting challenge of trying to figure everything out. They share their faith journey and the fears they had to confront to become who they are today. They also discuss how simply doing the next right thing led them down unexpected paths and brought blessings they could never have orchestrated on their own. Finally, they reveal how trust paved the way for some of the greatest miracles they've ever experienced. If you're looking for hope and inspiration in your current season, this episode won't disappoint! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
You probably know or have met someone with ADD, ADHD, or autism—or maybe you’re one of those people. These neurological differences, known as neurodivergence, make up an estimated 15-20% of the population. Whether or not you fall into this category, it’s likely to impact your life, and we’re here to help you navigate it. In this episode, Abi and Justin sit down with their friend and psychologist Ruth Outram. Together, they share their journeys with neurodivergence, the impact it’s had on their lives and relationships, and how they’ve turned what could have been kryptonite into a superpower. They also dive into the pros and cons of labels and explore how understanding their struggles has been empowering and liberating. Lastly, Abi drops a bombshell and briefly opens up about her autism diagnosis and how learning she was on the spectrum changed her life forever. If you want to better understand yourself or those around you, this episode is filled with insight and compassion. Don’t miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
It’s easy to fall in love with the idea of someone. The fantasy we create in our minds is often one of very few imperfections. Unfortunately, the perfect person only exists in our imagination. Building a relationship around a fantasy cannot only be disappointing, but it can be incredibly destructive.  In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by friend and fellow Life Consultant Rachel Hughes to discuss the world of relational fantasy known as limerence. They explore how fantasizing about who someone is can cause you to bond to the idea of them, create unrealistic expectations, perpetuate a one-sided relationship, and cause you to overlook their nuances altogether. They also delve into the importance of humanizing people and recognizing the red, yellow, and green flags we all have.  If you want to learn about a more holistic approach to relationships that will help you foster balance in the way you relate to others, this episode is right up your alley! AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
In part two of this dialogue, Abi and Justin are once again joined by Habit Coach Jenna Zint to discuss the vital role boundaries play in fostering healthy relationships with yourself and others. Together, they tackle creative solutions for navigating seemingly powerless situations, eliminating blame and accusation in boundary setting, becoming self-aware of our patterns and triggers, and removing punishment from the process. They also explore how to create a balanced life through boundaries, avoiding the extremes of either giving nothing of ourselves or giving every last ounce to those who ask. This episode is packed with strategies that will bring relief to all your relationships. You won’t want to miss it!"   AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Boundaries has been a buzz word for a while now. As with any popularized emotional health tool, there have been wild misuses and misunderstandings of this deeply valuable concept. However, when used properly, boundaries can help create a thriving, connected life filled with love and respect for ourselves and others. In part one of this dialogue Justin and Abi sit down with Habit Coach Jenna Zint to discuss her strategic use of boundaries in her life. She opens up about how she gained confidence through a challenging learning curve with her mom. Together, they explore how to stop resenting people for having needs, how to say ‘No’ while still communicating value for someone, how to create balanced relationships, and how to healthily communicate feedback as a way to love and care for everyone involved.  If you’re needing clarity and courage around boundaries and want insight into how others approach them, this series will knock your socks off! AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Do you want to know a vital key to making your life better? It’s probably not what you think it is. Most of us believe that judging ourselves and others is a catalyst for change, but it’s quite the opposite. In fact, judgment can be the most damning opponent to experiencing a fulfilled life. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In this episode Justin and Abi are joined once again by their good friend Gabby to discuss compassion and its role in healing, growth, and enjoying life. They talk about the impact of the judgment stick we use, the shame highs and shame lows that keep us from feeling loved, and the common humanity that we all share. Lastly, they examine the destructive belief that if people have compassion for themselves, they’ll live stagnant and passively towards life. If you could use a fresh and hopeful perspective on how to approach life, this episode is just for you. Oh and it’s funny…so you’ll get a good laugh as well. ;)   AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE!   You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife   Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
294: How to Win at Marriage

294: How to Win at Marriage

2024-08-1901:15:34

Nobody that’s been married will deny that it’s difficult. When we get together with another person, we’re faced with communication breakdowns, different cultural backgrounds, opposing value systems, and worst of all, having a mirror that shows us the messiness of our own heart. Though it’s tough, with a few keys, it can be a liberating experience for both parties.   In this episode, long time friends Pietze and Johnny join Justin and Abi to discuss the ways taking personal ownership has been a game changer in their relationships. They talk about the hurdles they’ve had to overcome in order to be honest with themselves and each other and they open up vulnerably about the ways they’ve hurt one another.   If you’re needing some perspective on how to win at marriage or could use some hope on how to navigate the choppy waters of any relationship, this episode is perfect for you.   AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE!   You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife   Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
We all impact the world around us for better and for worse. It can feel difficult to take an honest look at ourselves and how we affect others, but what if self-reflection is the stepping stone to having the best experience of this life? In this episode, Justin and Abi discuss the reality of having to look at ourselves honestly. They explore the positive benefits this has on developing deeper connections, a heart of humility, and an abundant life experience. They also ponder how this might play out in eternity while discussing how our choices here might affect us there. If you want to get inspired about the life right in front of you, this episode does just  that!  AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!  
Conflict isn’t fun for most of us. For many of us, we’d rather avoid it altogether. Since many of us haven’t seen it modeled well, it can often lead to further disruptions in relationships and seemingly make things worse. But what if we had a better understanding of its benefits and how to do it well? In this episode Gabby, a good friend of Abi and Justin, joins the conversation. Gabby shares about her journey of avoiding conflict, the impact it had on her life, and the brave tweaks she made in her beliefs and actions that changed the game for her altogether. If you want insight on why you react to conflict the way you do, and could use some inspiration on how to navigate conflict moving forward, this episode is chock full of insight, and entertaining laughs that will help the medicine go down! AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Whether or not we’re aware of it, we all have emotions we don’t want to feel. Some of those emotions are so intolerable that we’ll do anything we can to avoid them. Unfortunately, avoiding these emotions won’t resolve them. It simply perpetuates them. But don’t fear, there’s hope to face them! In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their friend Ruth Outram, who is currently finishing her doctorate in Clinical Psychology. Together, they discuss the intolerable emotions we all have, where they come from, and how we can learn to approach even the most difficult feelings. If you want a better understanding of the feelings and reactions you’re having, this episode is filled with gold! AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!  
In today’s culture, masculinity has two predominant expressions on opposite ends of the spectrum. One expression is the dominant protector that views emotional health as weak. On the other end is the nonthreatening connector that avoids challenges at all costs. But what if there was an expression of masculinity that was a healthy blend of protector and connector? In this episode, Justin sits down with special guest Jeremy Morris, founder of Wild Courage. Jeremy shares stories of fostering a tribe of men who have found the courage to face their fears of vulnerability while maintaining their capacity to face adversity head-on. If you’ve been looking for an example of a balanced model of masculinity that is connected to its heart and willing to face any fight on behalf of those it loves, this episode is a MUST! Don’t miss out. AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Emotions are an inescapable part of the human experience. As kids, these emotions are often judged, shut down, ignored, and stuffed until they can’t be dismissed any longer. We can demonize them and perpetuate a life of feeling alone and unloved, or we can embrace them and come alive. In this episode Justin and Abi discuss the impact of being disconnected from our emotions, the power of identifying and naming them, and how we can nurture ourselves through becoming interested in and understanding them. They also examine how the energy behind every emotion is drives us from moment to moment dictating how we connect to the world around us. If you don’t want your emotions to rule you, this episode will give you insight on how to manage them while creating connection with yourself. Don’t miss out! AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
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Comments (14)

Amy Munoz

Literally like free therapy.

Jun 13th
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Amy Munoz

This episode is so good! 🔥

May 20th
Reply (1)

Jessica Foster

this was a very timely message to pop up in my que. I recently permanently deleted my Facebook and that was hard because of the 5 years of saved pictures and videos of my kids. but I did it and didn't have a 2nd thought through those 30 days to re-download. it was freeing. after listening to this, I do plan on deleting my Instagram account (deleted the app a few months ago). ig won't be hard to delete but it will require me to re-download and figure out my password lol so that's future Jessica's problem. snapchat will be hard though. I love the memories of my kids that pop up. so in 2023 my plan is to find a way to download all the videos and export them to a DVD so I have those memories to watch with my kids someday when they are older. it's easier to live a life off the grid when there's at least one other person close to you who is off the grid. and my tribe of friends is starting to pick up on this movement. it's really beautiful to see how we spend our time without social. thanks

Jan 5th
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Jessica Foster

what an amazing story to add to my belt of truth. I've gone through my own trauma where my 1 month old daughter should have died and God performed miracle. my heart had such empathy for this family. thank you for sharing your story.

Jul 30th
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Jennie Richardson

wow, this rocked me. thank you for being so vulnerable.

Jul 8th
Reply

Elisa Wolcott

Love these two episodes! What is the specific podcast that Megan references in this episode?

Mar 23rd
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Joao-Priscilla Rosas

they play around a ton sometimes, but all you can do is fastfoward. I find these podcasts helpful!

Nov 30th
Reply

Lottie Robinson

15 mins in and no mention of dating... I’m confused.

Sep 25th
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Claire Balshaw

I love these podcasts! Had good laughs and learnt a lot as I go through this dating life. I’ve just smashed through 3 today! Amazing! Thank you guys!

Aug 27th
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RM V

Great depth in the conversations!

Aug 12th
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Andrea Ito

Just casually wept while doing the dishes and listening to this podcast. I have found myself crying (which is something I really don't do often!) after every one of their discussions because there's a wealth of unresolved pain in my life that I have been full-heartedly unaware of until I crack open a cold, hard bottle of Abi & Justin real talk and realize - there's been a unhealthy habit of moving on and not processing a thing. Anyway, you will laugh, you will cry, and you will be amazed. Totally gonna do their eCourse!

Apr 30th
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wesley Efird

I absolutely love this podcast!! no better way to start your week!

Apr 2nd
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Lindsey Miller

NEW FAV PODCAST!!! My hope and joy for my own marriage and working through all our stuff together has increased a GAZILLION percent just from listening to these first few episodes! Thank you, justin and abi for this authentic message the whole world NEEDS!!! ❤❤❤

Jan 17th
Reply