The Fifth Column

Hooman Majd comes from a family that reads like a parable about modern Iran: a grandfather who was an ayatollah, an uncle who worked for the Shah, and a folk-singing aunt. Everyone’s family has a version of this, right?-Iran is a tragedy-the sense of triumph has already faded-is Hooman happy the Supreme Leader was killed?-Trump’s motive: regime change, or only regime adjustment?-a ring of fire around Israel-hijab mandates, strict social rules, and the morality police using facial recognition-did the 1979 Islamic Revolution fail on its own terms?-MEK is a cult-is there room for a homegrown anti-regime revolution, or does war smother it?-who ends up in the IRGC?-the girls’ school bombing, and the propaganda machine-internet shutdowns, VPN life, and tweeting through a war-if you want to be an authoritarian, you cannot tolerate a free press-how to consume war info without getting played-outlets reporting on the new Ayatollah-sanctions: efficacy, blowback, and who they actually punish-Can Iran function like a normal state, and can it have workable relations with Israel?-Oct. 7 and Iran’s role-concerns about civil war-the mullah stereotype-“translating” for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad-death threats, anonymous phone calls, and “don’t ever come back”-defending against charges of being a regime apologistBuy Minister Without Portfolio: Memoir of a Reluctant Exile (Bookshop | Amazon)Prefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.The Fifth Column is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Follow The Fifth ColumnYouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-Matt takes off his glasses, Kmele panics-Moynihan is furious we started a war during his aggressive vomiting window-The Great Unwrapping of Liberated Iranian Women as the most convincing reason for war-Marco Rubio sells the rationale in Möbius-strip logic-the Dee Snider Doctrine-The Death of the War Powers Resolution-Is Rep. Anna Paulina Luna serious r…

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comJournalist Nadav Eyal joins Welch and Moyniahn to game out the Iran strikes, why Gaza’s endgame is still murky, and why the “no boots on the ground” promise matters more than most hot takes admit. -Zen and the Art of Strategic Surprise-Everyone who’s anyone in the region knew this was going to happen.-Why the US was convinced this was a good idea-Death to America…

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comI first met Ken Layne sometime in 1991, back when Vanilla Ice ruled the pop charts, the Soviet Union was still a thing, and Canadians still had a reasonable expectation of winning the Stanley Cup.We have been collaborating and experimenting ever since -- a little newspapering here, some music there, various dot-com shenanigans, all of it in a spirit of …

-Matt Welch’s Caribbean identity crisis at Da Pig Beach-The State of the Union aka a two-hour hostage note-A greatest hits, lowest lights compilation for President Camacho-The futility of “speeching” your way through a math-defying approval rating-You can’t talk your way through a 38% approval rating-Let the hockey boys drink-Dan Crenshaw is allowed to be mad-The RNC’s new guard of real fucking bozos and sycophantic dick-tots-JD Vance as anti-corruption czar and populist beard for the crypto-regime-Tariffs and The Gilded Age corruption engine, now with “ballroom fund” exclusions-Drug prices are down 600%,….so do you owe me money?-Moynihan screaming drug questions at his glitching phone-Marxist Republicans and the gobbledygook of corporate housing bans-Maybe let’s just abolish the State of the Union-Dispatches from the Purple State: An interview with Senator Elissa Slotkin-Stop kicking allies in the teeth to play grab-ass with dictators-Walking out on Lindsey Graham’s Danish disdain-AI thinks Moynihan is a neo-folk neo-Nazi-Four years of war and Ukraine gets a one-sentence hand wave-Anthropic vs. Hegseth: Code is speech until the Pentagon wants a frictionless kill-switch-We tried collectivism once. Everyone starved. The end.-Gemini identifies the mystery caller as Friedrich Nietzsche, chimney sweep-About that BBC BAFTA N-Word Drama….-“You’re acting like Israel” is the ultimate Park Slope breakup trump cardPrefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel NOW.The Fifth Column (A Podcast) is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Follow The Fifth ColumnYouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comKash chugs it back with the toothless championsTrump and his locker room talk with the boysState of the Union and the Six Year ItchA uniquely conspiratorial moment in an already conspiratorial nationPizzaGate nostalgia hourFact checking dies in publicA laundry list of made up shit that’s not even close to being trueBaby-eating melodrama meets Beetlejuic…

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Damon Root’s book Overruled: The Long War for Control of the U.S. Supreme Court * Basic civics, reintroduced* Root’s mood in five words* What becomes of this useless Congress?* Why not 9–0? Root on the three dissenters * The “major questions doctrine” translated* Profiles in inconsistenty* Doesn’t matter! Trump will “destroy your country” either way!* The hangover* Gorsu…

-The dork Star Wars cantina of famous biographers-Jefferson’s hypocrisy and the impossibility of paragon standards-Lincoln was not an abolitionist-The Howard Zinnification of American history-Ambiguity as the ideological propagandist’s mortal enemy-The true (New Testament) saint of America-George H.W. Bush’s blunt admission-This president would cut your throat for a vote, then be the first to call 911-Exhaustion as a strategy, and the establishment’s failure to meet the moment-Autocratic narcissism and the turn toward political sadism-Despair is a sin-Political loss as seasonal, not existential-What will the next side do with inherited expanded executive power?-14th Amendment redemption clauses as high-level nerd porn-Amusing ourselves to death in a visual-media politics-Katie Britt’s private doubt, and the ecosystem that manufactured it-Lincoln couldn’t write a bad sentence; Reagan could land the linePrefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.Buy Jon Meacham’s anthology, American Struggle: Democracy, Dissent, and the Pursuit of a More Perfect Union (Bookshop | Amazon)Thanks for reading/watching The Fifth Column (A Podcast)! This post is public so feel free to share it.Follow The Fifth ColumnYouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-Please say hello to our new Sunset Park neighbor-The American Chávez -The Nobel Prize Grudge-The Dictatorship That Remained-Political Pilgrims and Failed Experiments-Maria the Maid and the, “Gay Marriage Lady” slur-A Masterclass in Macro-Failure-The Media Pioneer-The Illusion of Democracy-Economic Voodoo-The “Police” StrategyGet William’s book, Things …

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comFor Christmas 2024, I was gifted Robert Sullivan’s delightful My American Revolution: A Modern Expedition Through History’s Forgotten Battlegrounds. I devoured it within 24 hours. It is no exaggeration to say that the book is responsible as anything else for this little Semiquincetennial miniseries you are (hopefully!) enjoying.As you will hear in this …

-John Bolton, Olympic Curling Hawk-Arguing with the 60s Since 1970-I’m kind of a Libertarian (Minus the Defense Part)-Iraq was actually kind of perfect-Federalist Papers as Foreign Aid (or maybe porn would suffice)-The Arab Spring Brain-Break-Afghanistan is Not Exactly a Nation-Regime Change, Case-by-Case-The Forward Defense of New Jersey-Ukraine and the Gray Zone Trap-The Nuclear Press Release-Tucker Carlson wants you to be scared of this man-Trump’s Real Estate Foreign Policy-The Face of the Regime in Venezuela-The President’s Retribution…. and how worried should the Ambassador be right now?-Who Will Take Him Down First?-Tulsi Gabbard’s Intelligence Clown ShowPrefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.The Fifth Column (A Podcast) is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Follow The Fifth ColumnYouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-The Invertebrate Caucus-The New Tax Party-Ruby Ridge and Waco Redux-The Last Man Standing-The Crypto Appearance Problem-Government as a Mob Vig-The Fairness Trap-The Colombia Save, or how Rand prevented a military escalation by sending a quick text message to the President.-Epstein Transparency Collateral-Is Trump still “the best president of his lifet…

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comA deeply serious and important conversation over some listener-provided Scotch about the Super Bowl halftime show(s), the death of ad copywriting, dunking in the WNBA, pond skating, and the other Moynihan Report.•Oh good, Kmele started drinking early•About that game…•The horrible stereotypes in that halftime show•He bangs•The Canadian caravan•Malfunctio…

John Avlon stops by only to learn he’s also in the Epstein files, why the Daily Beast should’ve sold dick pills, and why we need to rebuild guardrails on what some call “stolen land”* Where John is surprised to learn he’s in the Epstein files and suddenly remembers he has plans not to be here* The Ceaușescu of Long Beach * Moynihan actually voted for this guy!* Georgia, the FBI, and the Trump 2.0 purity test industrial complex* Asking for a friend who keeps wondering, “are US elections legit?”* This is not a libertarian podcast * The original sin is hyperpolarization * Tucker at CPAC, the heretic hunters, and the sound of the crowd turning* Give the left/right base what it wants and watch your incentives rot* We should have sold dick pills at The Daily Beast and funded a small country* The hell with the guardrails, we want our conspiracies god dammit!* Oral culture wins, written culture loses, and the Washington Post dims the lights* How can we do this podcast “on stolen land?”* What happened to Rudy Giuliani?* The Traveling Wilburys of Government* Asymmetric polarization and why the crazies are not equally distributedGet John’s latest book, Lincoln and the Fight For Peace (Bookshop | Amazon) Prefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.The Fifth Column (A Podcast) is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Follow The Fifth ColumnYouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com• Moynihan and Welch are in the Epstein files• A very indiscriminate and humiliating dump• Bannon & Epstein• Black boxes over kids, and the express train to Satanic Panic• Embarrassment is no reason• Moynihan’s Melania Review• Billie Jean is not my brother, but Jimmy Carter is my mother• That’s an awfully small ring to kiss for such a wealthy man• Move …

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comWhat if you’re just … born wrong? (No, I don’t mean the darling little girl to the right.)You may know Bill Schulz through his years toiling as Greg Gutfeld’s “repulsive sidekick” on ye olde Fox News late-nite WTF show Red Eye (on which all of your co-hosts, and several of our guests, got some valuable reps back in the day). You may know Bill through hi…

-The NYC Rolling Hobo Express-An Enthusiastic Armada Full of Speed and Violence-Iranian Death Toll Discourse and Roger Waters Still Sucks-The Donroe Doctrine and the Near Abroad Dodge-Everyone’s Favorite Powder Keg-A Norwegian, A Rat Bag, and a Lunatic-A disgusting thing to say-Noem’s Bellebolent Hypotheticals-Stephen Miller’s Basement Lotions and the Little Rogaine Carpet-Fingerers, Reach-Arounds, and Reaganite as a Slur-Anne Cool-ter-Fuck You Jonathan-Mehmet Oz, P.I.-Ye’s apology ad and the uncanny valley of writing-One from the MailbagPrefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifthdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.The Fifth Column (A Podcast) is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Follow The Fifth ColumnYouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-A huge TACO Tuesday-Survival of the Spineless-Low-level insurgency infrastructure-Astroturf panic and the suspicious run to Walgreens-The problem with punching Nazis-Walz and Trump finally talk-Fuck you, Ted-The Great American Slur Revival-Short king Bovino and the self-inflicted smoke bomb-Democracy Dies in Payroll-World’s Biggest Russophobe Longs for…

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comOne topic in the news. One quick podcast on that single topic (rather than just texting each other about how certain media figures are vulgar, stupid, and morally depraved). Welcome back to the Fifth Column One Hitter! In the hours after ICE shot and killed Alex Pretti, we gathered at the studio to sit down with Peter Moskos: former police officer, current John Jay…

•Don Does Davos•I Would Do Anything for Greenland (But I Won’t Do That)•Even MAGA Thought the Norway Text Was Fake News•The Danes’ Historical Resistance to Fascism•A Lament for the Belgian Congo•Cutting a Greenland Cake, and the Epidemic of Stupidity•Who the Fuck Is “We”?•Congress Could Do Something That Isn’t Impeachment•Shame Doesn’t Work•Past the Point of Passivity•Punching a Transtifa Baby•Macron and Those Beautiful Sunglasses•Carney Invokes Václav Havel: Rupture, Not Transition•Middle Powers, Beta Powers•Soleimani in Iceland•China Is Asshole•The Man Is Fucking Old and Loves His Prizes•Breaking: Strange Victory, Strange Defeat•Letter Bag: Minneapolis•Get Out of the Fucking Churches•The Abbott & Costello Theory of GovernmentPrefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifthdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 8PM EST.Follow The Fifth ColumnYouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe