The Guilt Girl

Have you ever wondered what a therapist would think of throne of glass? In this episode race Bithell explores the mental health aspects of the character Selena Sardotian from the book Throne of Glass. She discusses the importance of a biopsychosocial assessment in understanding a person's holistic health, particularly in the context of trauma. The conversation delves into various themes including physical health, emotional regulation, social dynamics, spirituality, and therapeutic approaches, emphasizing the complexity of trauma and the need for tailored therapeutic strategies. takeaways Celaena likely has CPTSD Arrobyn is a predator Throne of Glass is praised for its accurate portrayal of mental health issues. A biopsychosocial assessment is crucial for understanding a person's holistic health. Physical health, including nutrition, is foundational for mental well-being. Trauma can significantly impact emotional regulation and self-esteem. Social relationships and support systems are vital for recovery from trauma. Education and employment can provide stability and resources for healing. Spiritual beliefs and moral injuries can affect a person's sense of purpose. Therapeutic approaches must be tailored to the individual's unique experiences and needs. Building rapport and trust is essential in therapy, especially for trauma survivors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this conversation, explores the theme of belonging, reflecting on her personal journey from high school to adulthood. She discusses the challenges of finding connection during her formative years, the importance of self-acceptance, and the proactive steps she took to create meaningful relationships. She shared how belonging is the opposite of shame and shame keeps you from belonging. Grace emphasizes that belonging is not just about fitting in with others but also about accepting oneself and deciding who you want to be. Through her experiences, she highlights the significance of loving others and the impact of social dynamics on our sense of belonging. Takeaways Belonging is a core value that guides life decisions. High school experiences can shape our understanding of belonging. College can provide a wider range of social opportunities but can still be challenging. True belonging often comes from unexpected relationships. Self-acceptance is crucial for feeling a sense of belonging. Creating connections requires proactive effort and vulnerability. Deciding who you want to be is more important than searching for identity. Loving others can enhance your ability to love yourself. Navigating relationships can be complicated, especially after trauma. Belonging can be found in professional spaces, even among those perceived as more successful. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Grace Bithell delves into the complex emotions surrounding suicide and self-harm, addressing the guilt and shame often associated with these experiences. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying purposes of suicidal thoughts and self-harm, exploring the neurobiological factors that contribute to these feelings. Grace advocates for a compassionate approach to mental health, encouraging listeners to redefine their identities beyond their struggles and to recognize the resilience within themselves. takeaways Guilt and shame around suicide are common but unhelpful. Suicidal ideation often serves as a means of escape. Self-harm can be a way to manifest inner pain. Understanding the neurobiology of suicidal thoughts is crucial. Blame can provide a false sense of control after a suicide. We should not define ourselves by our worst moments. Mental illness is not a choice; it happens to us. Compassion towards oneself is essential in healing. Everyone has their own coping mechanisms, which may not be healthy. Redefining identity beyond mental health struggles is empowering. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Grace Bithell welcomes Joy Bouchard to discuss her experience as a therapist featured on the reality show 'Secret Lives of Mormon Wives' and the intricacies of EMDR therapy. They explore the phases of EMDR, its effectiveness in treating trauma, particularly sexual trauma, and the importance of support systems in therapy. Joy shares insights on the misconceptions surrounding EMDR and emphasizes the empowerment it brings to clients in their healing journey. The conversation also touches on the role of shame and guilt in therapy, the necessity of referrals for couples therapy, and lighthearted moments from Joy's filming experience. Takeaways Joy discusses how she was approached to be on the reality show. The filming process for EMDR sessions was respectful and focused on healing. EMDR consists of eight phases, each crucial for effective therapy. Shame and guilt are significant issues that EMDR can help address. Support from partners is essential in trauma recovery. EMDR empowers clients to reclaim their narrative and control. Therapists must be trauma-informed to effectively support clients. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding EMDR's process. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summary In this episode, Grace explores the theme of making mistakes and struggling with balancing accountability and self compassion when you've messed up in big ways. She discusses the complexities of parenting, the nature of self forgiveness and accountability versus shame, and the importance of recognizing that life can be messy. Grace emphasizes that everyone is supposed to mess up and that it's never too late to make changes. She encourages listeners to find joy in the little things and to understand the function of their feelings of guilt and shame. Takeaways You are supposed to mess up in life. Messy lives do not define your worth. Accountability is different from shame. It's never too late to make positive changes. Self-forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. Understanding the function of guilt can aid healing. Life is allowed to be messy and complicated. Finding joy in small moments is essential. Everyone has the capacity for growth and change. Sponsored by:cozy earth. Use the code GUILTY at https://cozyearth.com for 20% off your order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

summary In this bonus episode, Grace  reacts to Season 2 of 'Nobody Wants This,' exploring themes of relationships, love, and the ethical dilemmas faced by therapists. She discusses the realistic portrayal of relationships in the show, the complexities of love and marriage, and the importance of communication and agreement on fundamental issues. She also calls out Dr. Andy for being the worst, and emphasizes the significance of support in friendships, especially in the context of emotional abuse. The episode concludes with reflections on the little things in life that contribute to happiness and fulfillment. takeaways Love alone is not enough to make a marriage work. Healthy relationships require good communication. Marriage involves practical agreements beyond love. Ethics in therapy are crucial for client safety. Dr. Andy is the worst Morgan is super hot Sasha is hotter than Noah Supportive friendships are vital during tough times. Life is defined by everyday moments, not just milestones. Divorce can be necessary for personal happiness. Therapists should maintain ethical boundaries with clients. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

summary In this episode, Grace Bithell discusses the complexities of decision-making, particularly in relation to people pleasing and the guilt that often accompanies choices. She emphasizes the importance of separating choices from their consequences and advocates for values-guided decision-making as a way to alleviate guilt. Grace also highlights the necessity of disappointment in life and relationships, encouraging listeners to embrace their values and make choices that align with them, even if it means disappointing others. takeaways People pleasing can lead to guilt and indecision. Making choices often involves balancing personal desires with others' expectations. Disappointment is a natural part of relationships and decision-making. It's important to separate choices from their consequences to reduce guilt. Values should guide decision-making rather than fear of disappointing others. Understanding that not all hard consequences are bad can help in decision-making. Radical acceptance of the imperfection in choices can lead to greater peace. Identifying personal values can clarify decision-making processes. Disappointing others can sometimes be necessary for personal growth. It's essential to trust that loved ones will support you even when you disappoint them. keywordspeople pleasing, decision making, consequences, values, self-sacrifice, relationships, choices, guilt, acceptance, commitment therapy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this conversation, Grace Bithell and Betty Flores delve into the complexities of mom guilt and shame, exploring their definitions, impacts, and the cultural pressures that contribute to these feelings. They discuss the importance of self-compassion, community support, and the need for open conversations about motherhood. The episode emphasizes that while guilt can serve as a motivator for improvement, shame often leads to isolation and despair. The speakers encourage mothers to acknowledge their humanity, seek help, and embrace their imperfections as part of the parenting journey. Sponsored by: Cozy earth! Use the code GUILTY to get 20% off your next purchase and stack it on top of their black friday sale for up to 40% off https://cozyearth.com/ Takeaways Mom guilt is often confused with mom shame, but they are different. Guilt can motivate change, while shame leads to isolation. Self-compassion is crucial for mothers navigating guilt and shame. Cultural expectations contribute significantly to feelings of guilt. Community support can help alleviate feelings of isolation in motherhood. Acknowledging one's needs is essential for effective parenting. Mothers should challenge unrealistic societal 'shoulds'. Open conversations about motherhood can reduce feelings of shame. It's important to recognize that all parents make mistakes. Finding a therapist trained in perinatal mental health can be beneficial. Keywordsmom guilt, mom shame, perinatal mental health, parenting, self-compassion, motherhood, mental health, support, community, cultural influences Chapters00:00 Understanding Mom Guilt and Shame09:59 Navigating Guilt and Shame in Parenting19:20 Societal Pressures and Expectations on Moms22:25 The Illusion of Perfection in Motherhood25:13 Navigating Guilt and Shame in Parenting30:30 Embracing Imperfection and Community Support33:46 Finding Help and Resources for New Moms35:45 Guilty Pleasures and the Human Experience39:38 Sunny Day Parade.mp3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, Grace Bithell and Melissa Spaulding delve into the complexities of self-esteem, exploring its definitions, societal influences, and the distinction between self-esteem and inherent worth. They discuss the emotional roller coaster that self-esteem can create, particularly for women, and how societal expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy. The conversation emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's inherent value and offers practical steps for relying on value over self esteem, including reframing negative thoughts and practicing affirmations. The episode concludes with a light-hearted discussion about guilty pleasures, highlighting the importance of self-acceptance and joy in everyday life. takeaways Self-esteem is our ability to esteem ourselves. Self-esteem can vary widely based on external factors. The concept of 'stuff esteem' can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Inherent worth is about recognizing value simply because we exist. Societal pressures can heavily influence women's self-esteem. Other esteem is the validation we seek from others. Wanting and desiring are powerful aspects of self-acceptance. Reframing negative thoughts can help improve self-esteem. Affirmations should start from where we are, not where we want to be. Guilty pleasures can be a source of joy and self-acceptance. keywords self-esteem, mental health, inherent worth, emotional well-being, self-acceptance, therapy, personal growth, self-worth, societal expectations, women empowerment Chapters 00:00Introduction to Self-Esteem and Personal Background 02:42Defining Self-Esteem: A Complex Concept 05:13The Roller Coaster of Self-Esteem 07:57The Roots of Self-Esteem: Childhood Experiences 10:29Inherent Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem 13:10Understanding Inherent Value 16:02The Impact of Relationships on Self-Worth 18:28Navigating Self-Esteem in Adulthood 21:15The Pursuit of Other Esteem 24:12Understanding Self-Worth and External Validation 27:02The Balance of Care and Importance 29:52The Moving Target of Self-Esteem 31:31Societal Pressures on Women 34:24Sustainable Change vs. Treat Culture 36:48Practical Steps for Change 41:15The Power of Wanting and Desiring 45:46Sunny Day Parade.mp3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

summary In this episode, Grace Bithell shares her experiences and insights on guilt, choices, and the nature of life. She recounts her participation in a bake-off, discusses her guilty pleasures, and offers ten valuable lessons for those struggling with guilt and shame. The conversation emphasizes the importance of accepting imperfection, understanding judgment, and recognizing that discomfort is a natural part of life. Grace encourages listeners to embrace their flaws and to remember that life is not as serious as it often feels. takeaways Most choices don’t have right or wrong answers and even if it doesn’t turn out well that doesn’t mean you picked wrong People are judging you and that’s okay People like you flawed You’re allowed to be bad at things You’re allowed to do bad things Whatever perceived failure you think is holding you pack probably isn’t the problem You can’t earn love Comparing will never help you  It’s not bad to feel discomfort (aka you can’t pray or function away hard things)  We’re all just on a floating rock and it’s not that serious Chapters 00:00Introduction and Bake-Off Experience 04:21Guilty Pleasures and Episode Overview 04:48Lessons for Guiltaholics: Embracing Imperfection 17:53Understanding Guilt and Mistakes 25:34Life's Discomforts and the Importance of Perspective 29:59Sunny Day Parade.mp3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

summary In this episode, Grace Bithell discusses the themes of guilt in shame in calling in sick. She shares her experiences with calling out of work, the pressure to perform, and the societal expectations that contribute to feelings of inadequacy. Grace emphasizes the need to prioritize mental health, recognize burnout, and understand that taking sick days is a valid and necessary part of life. Through humor and relatable anecdotes, she encourages listeners to embrace their humanity and let go of the guilt associated with needing time off. takeaways The podcast creates a community where listeners feel understood. Grace shares her dream of winning a bake-off and the unexpected scarecrow competition. Guilt about calling out of work is a common experience, especially for women. Burnout occurs when input does not equal output in our lives. Self-worth should not be tied solely to work performance. It's important to recognize that taking sick days is necessary for health. You cannot destroy your life as easily as you think you can. Work is a transaction, and you owe it only so much. Your identity is not solely defined by your job. Values alignment is crucial for a fulfilling work-life balance. Chapters 00:00Introduction and Giveaway Announcement 04:11Guilty Pleasures: The Great British Bake Off 08:49The Guilt of Calling Out of Work 20:30Understanding Burnout and Self-Worth 27:41Conclusion: Embracing Sick Days 29:25Sunny Day Parade.mp3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

summary In this episode, Grace Bithell celebrates her birthday with a giveaway and discusses the roles shame plays in relationships, particularly the expectation to be low maintenance. She explores the impact of shame on expressing needs and the transactional nature of relationships, emphasizing the importance of advocating for oneself and redefining love beyond caregiving and expectations. takeaways It's okay to have needs in a relationship. Shame can prevent us from asking for what we need. Transactional relationships can lead to resentment. Love is not about what you do for someone else. Being low maintenance can harm relationships. It's important to communicate needs clearly. Women often feel guilty for having needs. Relationships should be a partnership, not a transaction. Self-advocacy is crucial for healthy relationships. You are worthy of love and support without conditions. Giveaway Shirt: Used as an episode artwork Chapters 00:00Birthday Celebration and Giveaway 08:47Transactional Relationships and Unmet Needs 14:21The Role of Shame in Relationships 19:26Advocating for Your Needs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Grace Bithell discusses the realities of living in a messy house, particularly as a parent. She explores the feelings of shame and societal expectations surrounding cleanliness, emphasizing that a messy home does not define one's identity. Grace highlights the importance of mental health and reframing the perception of messiness, advocating for a balance between a clean and happy home. She also addresses the difference between guilt and shame, and how effort does not always correlate with results. Ultimately, she encourages listeners to embrace their messy homes as a reflection of their lives and values. Shout out to today's guilty pleasure Gilass Soap who can be found at https://gilaasskin.com/ use the code Theguiltgirl for 10% off storewide takeaways My house is messy and it's like gross messy. Your house is not something full of meaning. A clean house is better for your mental health. I want my house to be clean enough to be safe. Your house serves you, not you it. Effort does not equal a clean house. Your house is not your identity. It's okay to not do hard things just for the sake of doing hard things. Beauty is an imperfection. Let's all embrace our messy houses. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SummaryIn this episode, Grace Bithell explores the intricate relationship between shame and social anxiety, discussing how these emotions affect our interactions and self-perception. She shares personal anecdotes and insights on the importance of acceptance, vulnerability, and being true to oneself in social situations. Grace emphasizes that while the fear of being disliked is common, it is essential to recognize that not everyone will like us, and that’s perfectly okay. The conversation encourages listeners to embrace their true selves and practice vulnerability to combat feelings of shame.TakeawaysShame is a socially based emotion that affects our self-perception.The fear of being disliked is a universal experience.Shame can create an illusion of control over social acceptance.Not everyone will like you, and that's okay.Secrecy about our true selves breeds shame.Being yourself in social situations is crucial for overcoming anxiety.Vulnerability can help banish feelings of shame.It's important to stand for your beliefs, even if it means being disliked.Liking others can foster acceptance and connection.Embracing who you are is key to reducing social anxiety. Keywordsshame, social anxiety, acceptance, vulnerability, self-identity, human connection, social skills, egocentrism, personal growth, mental healthChapters00:00 Introduction and Life Update07:53 Illusion of Control in Social Situations17:32 The Need for Acceptance23:35 Vulnerability and Social Anxiety Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of "The Guild Girl," host Grace Bithell delves into the complex interplay between OCD and shame. Grace, a therapist and recovering guiltaholic, shares her personal journey and professional insights on how guilt and shame manifest in OCD. She challenges common misconceptions, explores the neurobiological roots of OCD, and discusses the profound impact of shame on those living with the disorder. Tune in for an enlightening conversation that aims to de-stigmatize OCD and offer hope for a life beyond shame. Disclaimer: Grace is a therapist, but she isn't your therapist and this podcast does not constitute therapy #OCD #MentalHealth #Shame Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join Grace Bithell as she delves into the complex intersection of scrupulosity, religious guilt, and sexuality. In this episode, Grace shares personal insights and societal observations on how religious teachings impact our perceptions of sex, the importance of developing personal value systems, and the challenges of overcoming shame.Key Points:The impact of religious teachings on perceptions of sex. The importance of developing a personal value system around sexuality. Common misconceptions and challenges related to sexual desire and shame. The role of communication and learning in sexual relationships.Guilty Pleasure of the Week: Grace shares her love for Melissa Peraga's art, highlighting its creativity and charm. Check her art out here! https://www.instagram.com/melissaparragaart/?hl=enHashtags: #Scrupulosity #Sexuality #ReligiousGuilt #GraceBithell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

keywords guilt, shame, womanhood, societal expectations, self-acceptance, mental health, relationships, individuality, empowerment, feminism summary In this solo episode, Grace Bithell delves into the complex emotions of guilt and shame that women often experience. She reflects on societal expectations and the contradictions that come with womanhood, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and the need to advocate for one's own needs. Grace discusses the impact of comparisons and feelings of inadequacy, while also exploring the archetypes of maiden, mother, and crone, encouraging women to embrace their individuality and be unapologetically themselves. takeaways Guilt and shame are prevalent emotions for women. Societal expectations create contradictions in womanhood. Women often feel the need to please others. Connection is built on vulnerability, not perfection. People are messy, and that's where true connection lies. Not advocating for needs can sabotage relationships. Women frequently compare themselves to others, leading to feelings of inadequacy. Embracing authenticity is crucial for self-acceptance. The maiden, mother, and crone archetypes represent different stages of womanhood. Women should feel empowered to be inconvenient and true to themselves. titles The Weight of Womanhood: Guilt and Shame Navigating the Contradictions of Being a Woman Sound Bites "People are really, really messy." "Women should be inconvenient." "There is hope for us all." Chapters 00:00Exploring Guilt and Shame in Womanhood 05:17The Pressure to Please 13:30Comparisons Among Women 18:30The Crone Archetype and Inconvenience Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this insightful solo episode of The Guilt Girl Grace Bithell delves into the pervasive feelings of inadequacy and shame that many of us experience in our professional lives. Drawing from personal anecdotes and clinical insights, Grace explores why we often feel bad at our jobs, the impact of these feelings on our well-being, and why it's crucial to let go of the shame associated with work performance. Discover how power dynamics, vulnerability, and societal expectations contribute to workplace shame, and learn practical strategies to cultivate resilience and self-compassion. Tune in to redefine your relationship with work and embrace your imperfections. #WorkplaceWellness #OvercomingShame #SelfCompassion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join Grace Bithell as she sits down with Cody Fackrell, a licensed clinical social worker and financial coach, to explore the intricate relationship between shame and money. Discover how emotional spending, budgeting, and financial therapy can transform your financial mindset. Cody delves into the signs of money shame and how it affects financial decisions, emphasizing that shame often leads to avoidance behaviors, such as not checking bank accounts or discussing finances with partners. The conversation highlights how emotions drive financial decisions, leading to patterns of emotional splurging. Cody shares insights on how to break free from these cycles by confronting and understanding the underlying emotions. He discusses the importance of both external and internal financial management. While budgeting and financial planning are crucial, addressing internal beliefs and emotions is key to achieving financial peace. Cody shares his experience on the Dave Ramsey show and discusses the impact of popular financial advice. He stresses that while external advice is valuable, it must be complemented by internal financial management. For those struggling with money shame, Cody offers practical advice, including getting curious about the shame, understanding spending patterns, and aligning financial decisions with personal values. Grace shares her own experiences with money and emotions, highlighting the common struggle of feeling shame for spending on things that bring joy. Cody emphasizes that money is meant to be spent and encourages intentional spending aligned with values. Listeners interested in exploring financial therapy with Cody can connect with him on LinkedIn, with a link provided in the show notes. Grace wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to confront their money shame and embrace a healthier relationship with finances. She invites everyone to like, comment, and subscribe for more insightful discussions.  If you'd like to reach out to Cody and talk more then he can be found on linkedin at https://www.linkedin.com/in/codyfackrell/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this comprehensive episode, we explore the intricate web of emotions tied to childhood trauma, focusing on the pervasive feelings of shame and inappropriate guilt that often linger long after the experiences of childhood neglect and abuse. Our conversation sheds light on how these deep-seated emotions can distort self-worth and identity, leaving childhood trauma survivors grappling with shame after abuse. We delve into the psychological mechanisms that perpetuate these feelings, examining how shame over abuse can manifest in various aspects of life, from personal relationships to professional endeavors. Our expert guests bring their wealth of knowledge to the table, discussing the role of EMDR therapy in addressing these complex emotional landscapes. They share insights into how this therapeutic approach can help reprocess traumatic memories, reduce the emotional charge of past events, and foster a healthier self-image. Through personal stories and professional expertise, we aim to provide listeners with a deeper understanding of the healing journey and the resilience required to overcome the shadows of the past. Join us as we navigate the path to recovery, offering hope and practical strategies for those affected by childhood trauma. Whether you're a survivor seeking solace or someone supporting a loved one, this episode is a valuable resource for understanding and healing. #ChildhoodTrauma #Shame #EMDR #HealingJourney #Resilience If you'd like to talk more with Andrew reach out to him at https://www.ashrisetherapy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices