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The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

Author: Ryan Hawk

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Leaders are learners. The best leaders never stop working to make themselves better. The Learning Leader Show Is series of conversations with the world's most thoughtful leaders. Entrepreneurs, CEO's, World-Class Athletes, Coaches, Best-Selling Authors, and much more.
579 Episodes
Read our new book, The Score That Matters Full show notes at The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk Episode #579: David Perell - Setting The Standard, Cultivating Your Taste, Pursuing Excellence, Becoming a Sloganeer, Always Working/Never Working, & Lessons From a Mysterious Billionaire Notes: Set the standard – “It’s your job to have the highest quality standards of anybody you work with. Every day, you’ll face pressure to lower them. Don’t do it. If you can set a high standard and simply maintain it, you’ll do very well for yourself.” Have a high-quality bar. Do three things: Define it: Clearly state the standards. (read The 11 Laws of Showrunning) Maintain it: This is hard to do. Raise it: Keep pushing. You need to define what quality looks like. Set the true north. David worked with a coach to establish his core values. And he was going to narrow it down to five and the coach said, “Nope, it’s just one. It’s the one that everything in your life orbits around... It’s The Pursuit of Excellence. The biggest piece of low-hanging fruit for leaders is getting funnier: Nobody trains themselves to get funnier though. It’s strangely taboo. That’s why it’s such an opportunity. "Laughter is the sound of comprehension." Say something memorable. Humor is memorable. A good way to think... Deconstruct something funny. David spends a lot of time understanding why Theo Von is so funny. The key to excellent storytelling: a moment of change. Conflict and suspense carry stories. Robert Caro writing the LBJ books... "What would I see if I was there." He moved to where LBJ lived to see what it was like to be there. How to cultivate taste: Make a list of things you love/hate. Look for things you love (but aren't supposed to), and things you hate (but are supposed to love). Make things. Don't be a passive consumer. Be a connoisseur. Be discerning about what you consume. Amor Tolles - History is bad for knowing what's good now. Consume old things. Museums - Pay attention to what elicits a reaction. Why is it a 10? Why is it a 1? What do you love? What do you hate? Why? Archegos is David's favorite Greek word, and it gets to the heart of good leadership. Four meanings: Author, founder, pioneer, leader America’s founding fathers are the canonical example Lessons from a mysterious billionaire mentor: David asks very specific questions, listens, and takes lots of notes. When meeting with a mentor, show up with energy and specific questions. They are tired of hearing the boring generic questions. Be specific. The mentor talks 98% of the time and David just types what he says. He now has 18,000 words worth of notes. Some lessons: CEOs are Sloganeers: CEOs shouldn’t write strategy memos. They should drive slogans.  Three lines. Three words each. (Bezos: Focus on the Customer) CEOs should tell the same stories over and over again, refining their pitch like a comedian. Gauging reactions Asking questions Listening to push-back Seeing what makes people’s eyes light up Your message is only landing once people start making fun of you. Good goal in life: Always working, never working Story from Patrick O'Shaughnessy. He was asked how much time he spent preparing. Initially, he said, "not much." Then he thought for a while, and said, "I'm preparing all the time. My whole life is preparing to ask these questions."
Order our book, The Score That Matters Full show notes at The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk Create surplus value - What can we do to give more than we take? "The key is to figure out what you can do that others can’t or are unwilling to do. Hard work is a talent. Curiosity is a talent. Patience and empathy are talents." "Helping others makes me feel strong." Scott's recent experience with Ketamine Therapy - "It clarified my thinking. It's helped me stop keeping score. It also made me grateful for my wife. Did you ever get a gift when you were a kid that you weren’t expecting and you couldn’t afford it? Something you never imagined having.” I got a $45 Banh skateboard from my mom’s boyfriend Terry. It was a moment of sheer surprise and joy. My wife kept popping in my head and I kept thinking, god I get to hang out with this person, get to have kids with them, get to build a life with her. It was this overwhelming feeling of wonderful joy and surprise. It was very clarifying and rewarding for me.” "You Gotta Ask" - Scott met his wife at the Raleigh Hotel pool in Miami. He saw her from a distance and promised himself that he wouldn't leave the pool without introducing himself to her first.  In order to do anything of significance in your life, you must take an uncomfortable risk." Scott is married to Beata Galloway, a real estate developer born in Germany. Together, they have two sons. One of them has the middle name, Raleigh. Why Crying is Important - "It informs what's important to you." Why Scott uses crude humor - It's used to connect with people. And people are either afraid or not able to do it. When Scott was 13… One of his mom’s boyfriends handed him two crisp 100-dollar bills after he asked him about stocks. Terry (his mom's boyfriend) told him “Go buy some stock at one of those fancy brokers in the village." Once there, Scott met a mentor named Cy Gordner who helped him learn about the markets. Show up when it matters — Michael Bloomberg’s policy. "If a friend gets a promotion, there is no need to call. You’ll get dinner with them at some point. But if a friend gets fired, I have dinner with them that night in a public place where everybody can see me. Because I remember when I got fired from Solomon Brothers — I can tell you every person that called me. That meant something. When I was made partner? I have no recollection of that whatsoever." Last year Scott had 340 inbound speaking requests. He accepted 30 of them. His average rate is $112,000 per speech. “The stimulus that attracted my attention with the most urgency was money, not as a means of establishing economic security, but to feed my addiction: affirmation from others.” The role of Luck - Being born in America in the 1960s and two (most importantly) Scott's mom. Though she was raised in a household with little affection, she couldn’t control herself with her son. “For me, affection was the difference between hoping someone thought I was wonderful or worthy and knowing it.” (Emotional) Scott is a dynamic communicator: A turn of phrase is a way of expressing something, in writing or speech, that stands out in some particular way. One of the key indicators of long-term success is the “willingness to endure rejection.” Whether this is walking up to a stranger at the Raleigh hotel, a cold-calling sales job, or asking people to be on your podcast. How to build wealth? Focus (mastery, find your talent), Stoicism (this is about saving more than you spend), Time ( 21 years with your money in low-cost index funds, you will earn 8 times your money), Diversification (Your kevlar). Once you earn some money, assume you are not Steve Ballmer or Mark Zuckerberg. Use a variety of investment vehicles. Going all on one company or asset class is not the optimal choice for most of us.
Our book, The Score That Matters, is now available! Full show notes at The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk The ASK approach - Choose curiosity, make it a safe space to tell the truth, pose quality questions (that’s a question that helps you learn something), LISTEN (check if you heard them right, rephrase), then reflect and connect - FOLLOW UP. Make sure the other person feels that you’ve listened to and heard them. 1) Choose Curiosity to awaken your interest in new discoveries. What can I learn from this person? 2) Make it Safe for people to tell you hard things Find the right context. Be vulnerable. Radiate Resilience. 3) Pose Quality Questions so you can uncover what’s most important Questions that help you learn something. What do you really think? 4) Listen to Learn, to hear what someone is really trying to tell you. Request reactions... What holes are in my perspective? 5) Reflect and Reconnect, so you take the right action based on what you’ve heard. Update my thinking. Sifting through what we heard. What can I take away of value? What are the best questions to ask in an interview for a job: As the interviewee, ask them what concerns they have about you? They’re going to talk about these when you’re not in the room. You might as well talk about them together when you’re in there… As the interviewer: Fast forward 1 year. There are two scenarios. 1, you crushed it. 2, You didn’t. Tell the story of what happened in each of those scenarios… What did Jeff learn from his work as a magician? Magic trains you to hold your cards close to your chest, that’s what makes the illusion work…He dreamed (still does) of someone asking him, so what do you think Jeff? He’s held back so much because he wanted people to ask him what he thought… It's like he needed permission. When pollsters asked Americans, “If you could have any superpower you wanted, what would you pick?” Two answers tied for the number 1 spot. Reading other people’s minds and time travel. Asking helps you read people's minds. Key learning from Chris Argyris: How smart people fail to learn... They don't ask. A child asks 25-50 questions per hour. An adult. A tiny fraction of that. Curiosity goes away as we age if we're not intentional about it. "We're all stuck inside our own certainty loops." Leadership hiring must-haves... Alignment with the mission Core values Track record A learner Learning design – How to make your next leadership retreat as impactful as possible? ASK the participants to help you co-create the event. We often miss out on goals, opportunities, and relationships because we don’t know how to ask the right question, in the right way. Yet this critical strength can be learned, and transform your career, organization, and relationships. Career and Life advice: You don't have to have it all figured out. WHO matters more than WHAT.
Full show notes at Buy our new book, The Score That Matters My guest: Scott Belsky co-founded Behance in 2006 and served as its CEO for six years. Behance was acquired by Adobe in 2012. Since then he has had a variety of roles with the company and is currently Adobe’s Chief Strategy Officer, and EVP of Design & Emerging Products. He’s also the author of two best-selling books, The Messy Middle and Making Ideas Happen. Scott holds a bachelor’s degree from Cornell University and an MBA from Harvard Business School. Hiking > Beach - You're only able to recollect experiences with enough friction to add texture to time as it passes. time spent doing the unexpected and/or being challenged is time with texture. Ultimately, in our dying breath, the more experiences in our lives with texture, the more of our lives we will actually remember and the longer we will feel we have lived. What adds texture to time? A challenge. Feeling unrushed - Feeling unrushed (so simple, yet so hard) is indeed such a luxury; one I still fail to achieve. Persona-Led Growth - People are more likely to share what people say than what companies say. Modern “PR strategy” should amplify the voice of actual builders, embrace personality rather than dull it out, and aspire for more real-time updates vs. major moments. How to raise kids to become great adults? "model hard work" Say, "This is the hard work." Manufacture hardship. Regulate emotions. Big feelings, little bodies. Why Scott enjoys working at Adobe... He's a mission-driven entrepreneur. Progress begets progress. Prototype = Show, not tell. A prototype is worth a hundred meetings, and almost all meetings that aren’t grounded with a prototype are a waste of time (or worse). A prototype immediately surfaces gaps in logic or business concerns. It is the fastest way to drive alignment. "A prototype prompts decisiveness" "It's a hot knife through the butter of bureaucracy." Why Scott writes a Substack newsletter: "I want to be part of the creator platform." Writing clarifies thinking It's important to stay close to the action. Writing works as a forcing function to do that. Scott has benefited greatly from running every day. It's important to push yourself mentally and physically. "There's no option to stop." What's the most important element of leadership? "Empathy. It's a shortcut for overcoming challenges." “You’re either part of the living or part of the dying.”  Scott's aunt Arlis Aron. Fought stage 4 cancer for 15 years. She always focused on living, her garden, breakfast, and traveling. “Decide if you want to live less or live more.” "Every day is a standalone canvas."
Our new book, The Score That Matters, is out TODAY (March 26, 2024). Here's the link: Thank you for your support! Full show notes at The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk Ryan Hawk is the creator and host of The Learning Leader Show, a top-rated business podcast that focuses on learning from the most effective leaders in the world. He speaks regularly to Fortune 500 companies; works with teams and players in the NFL, NBA, MLB, and NCAA; and facilitates Leadership Circles to offer structured guidance and collaborative feedback to new and experienced leaders. Ryan has also built an online leadership school called The Learning Leader Academy. He is the author of Welcome to Management and The Pursuit of Excellence, lauded by Forbes magazine as “the best leadership book of 2020” and “the most dynamic leadership book of 2022,” respectively. Brook Cupps has been a high school basketball coach for more than 20 years, earning several Coach of the Year awards. His teams have won numerous conference, district, and regional championships, as well as Centerville High School’s first-ever basketball state championship in 2021. In addition, he has spent the last eight years coaching grassroots basketball on the AAU circuits and helped guide the North Coast (Ohio) Blue Chips to national championships in 2014 and 2019. He publishes weekly essays on leadership and coaching on his site, Blue Collar Grit, and is the author of Surrender the Outcome. People love to keep score. Managers keep score of a range of business metrics: market share, revenue, profit margin, and growth rate. In our personal lives, social media has us keeping score by likes and followers. These external scores are outcome-driven and serve as proof of our success—money, fame, material possessions, wins—but this constant chase for more validation often leaves us feeling exhausted and empty. Offering both descriptive and prescriptive advice and anecdotes, The Score That Matters will help you unlock true fulfillment and happiness by discovering your purpose, identifying your values, creating critical behaviors, and living them faithfully every day in all aspects of your life. Warren Buffett once said, “The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an Inner Scorecard or an Outer Scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an Inner Scorecard.”  And that’s what The Score That Matters Is All About… The inner scoreboard is about eliminating comparison with others and living in alignment with what’s most important to you: your values and the behaviors to match those values.  If you want to stop comparing yourself to others, establish YOUR core values, and live in alignment with them (and I believe you should), then I think our book, The Score That Matters, will be useful for you. In addition to that, our book, The Score That Matters, will help you Build trust with the important people in your lives (your family and the team you’re leading at work) It will help you focus on your eulogy virtues instead of your resume virtues And we write about how you can build transformational relationships that will ultimately change your life for the better. When I interviewed economics professor and best-selling author Tyler Cowen, I asked him why he chose to write his most recent book with someone else (after he previously had written his books by himself). He said, “If you have an opportunity to work with someone who is awesome and brilliant and who will cooperate with you, you should always do that. Drop everything and do that.” Before this, I never thought I would write with someone else. It’s too personal. However, I took Tyler Cowen’s advice and I am so glad I did. Working on a book with one of your mentors is the ultimate tool for learning. I got to have long-form conversations (both in writing and in person) from someone who has figured out some of life’s most challenging issues. When you meet Brook Cupps, you’ll notice that he’s incredibly comfortable in his own skin. He has ZERO need to get approval from anyone outside of his closest friends. He has his values, lives his values, and that’s it. I think we would all be better off if we did that. In this book, you’ll get the unique perspective of a teacher and a student. Brook plays the role of the teacher, and me the student. We wrote almost all of the book together and mixed in some parts labeled BC and RH when it was from each of our unique perspectives. After a lifetime of figuring these things out and 3 years working together to get the ideas out of our heads onto the page, our book, The Score That Matters is now available for you to read. If you’ve gotten any value from The Learning Leader Show over the past 9 years, I hope you decide to buy this book. I think it could change your life. Go to Amazon now and buy it. If you’ve already bought yourself a copy, go back to Amazon and buy another one or two for the people in your life you care about most. Start a book club, tell your friends, read this with your colleagues at work. Not only do I think it could change your life, but all of your friends too. Thank you for your support!  
Read our new book, The Score That Matters Full show notes at The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk 574: Guy Kawasaki - Leadership Lessons From Steve Jobs, Learning How To Sell, Becoming a Chief Evangelist, and The 'Think Different' Philosophy “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward In 1977, Guy enrolled in the UCLA Anderson School of Management, where he earned an MBA. While there, Guy also worked at a jewelry company, Nova Stylings. He said, "The jewelry business is a very, very tough business, tougher than the computer business... I learned a very valuable lesson: how to sell." It’s helpful to know that we are all in sales every day. Whether you think you’re in sales or not… You are. You’re selling yourself, your ideas, projects, products. It’s useful to learn how to sell. Melanie Perkins, CEO of Canva (which is an amazing product and company)... "She’s Steve Jobs with heart and soul. They are on a relentless pursuit of perfection." Guy's counting dots story… It started in 6th grade. A teacher pushed him to go to a private school. That led to him getting into Stanford. This is where he met Mike Boich, who ended up hiring him at Apple. Then getting asked to go on the TEDx stage with Jane Goodall… Guy has made the most of the good fortune in his life… Steve Jobs/Change Your Mind: Guy launched his tech career at Apple as the company’s “chief evangelist,” marketing the original Macintosh computer.  When Jobs first introduced the iPhone in 2007, it was a closed system — no one outside of Apple could create an app for it. Software developers had to use a Safari plugin to make their app work on the phone, as they weren’t able to access the iPhone’s system directly in order to ensure the phone’s security. Just one year later, however, Jobs made a complete “180-degree reversal,” The founder opened the iPhone system to the public after realizing how much more the device could offer customers with apps written by anyone with a good idea. “I learned the very valuable lesson that when you’re doing something wrong when you’re doing something sub-optimally, it’s a sign of intelligence to change your mind.” Throughout our conversation, Guy talks about being an evangelist, and the definition of that is to “bring the good news.”  Default to yes. Make yourself indispensable. Learn to say, "I'm sorry," and "I don't know." Guy shares a story about a disagreement he had with Steve Jobs and how that cost him millions of dollars… But he learned an important lesson from Steve that has impacted him ever since.
Read our book, The Score That Matters Full Show Notes at Notes: “If it can’t be grown, it must be mined. It’s a truth of human progress.” The story of Burro Schmidt… He spent 38 years hand-digging a tunnel through a ½ mile of solid granite even though 19 years in, they built a road that made his tunnel obsolete. But he found his purpose and wanted to finish the job. Some may think that’s crazy, but I admire people like that. Be Your Own Light - "I don't look for hope. I look for evidence." Seek Awe - Understand your smallness in the world and how it's all interconnected. Read the "Thank You Project" by AJ Jacobs. "We love to see people who have found their purpose." There are long-term consequences of short-term thinking. Robert Greene's advice to Brent - Combine your unique and different skill sets to find your purpose. Brent dedicated his book to his parents, Liz and Bill, and sister Laura. I appreciate Brent’s outlook on life and permitting yourself to live a life of adventure and to think BIG. You can still wisely do this. Brent still works a day job with the Daily Stoic but is also taking a big swing at the same time. This is an option that is available for most of us. It’s on us to take action and do it. I’ve known Brent for about a decade. In his previous role with Brass Check (that’s Ryan Holiday’s marketing company), one of his jobs was to get authors on podcasts. And I love how precise Brent was in his outreach. He never sent me an author unless he had done the work ahead of time to ensure they were a good fit for my show. I appreciate the care he puts into his work and has for a long time. "When I think back 4 years, before Cerro Gordo, life was pretty stable. I had a good job, a solid apartment, and friends. It felt like a life that I could have floated through forever. I just kept feeling like I was missing out on...something. Something to grab my attention and not let go. To avoid, as Thoreau said, a life of “quiet desperation.” ⁣A lot has changed since then. Life certainly isn’t comfortable. There were 3 feet of snow to shovel before I could get to the outhouse this morning. There have been fires, floods, and earthquakes. I’ve lost too much weight, friends, partners, money. A lot more. I wouldn’t change a thing. I feel fulfilled in a way I never knew was possible. Building something real that I care about. Connected to my work, the world, the past. Meeting so many passionate people who care deeply about the same things. ⁣" Get To Work – JP Morgan said every man has two reasons for doing anything: a good reason and the real reason… The siren song of Cerro Gordo, a desolate ghost town perched high above Death Valley, has seduced thousands since the 1800s, but few fell harder for it than Brent Underwood, who moved there in March of 2020, only to be immediately snowed in and trapped for weeks. It had once been the largest silver mine in California. Over $500 million worth of ore was pulled from the miles of tunnels below the town. Butch Cassidy, Mark Twain, and other infamous characters of the American West were rumored to have stayed there. Newspapers reported a murder a week. But that was over 150 years ago. Brent Underwood bet his life savings—and his life—on this majestic, hardscrabble town that had broken its fair share of ambitious men and women. What followed were fires, floods, earthquakes, and perhaps strangest, fame. Ghost Town Living tells the story of a man against the elements, a forgotten historic place against the modern world, and a dream against all odds—one that has captured millions of followers around the world. After graduating from Columbia University, Brent worked briefly for an investment bank in New York City. After one month, he quit and backpacked across Central and South America. Upon returning to New York, he founded a hostel in Brooklyn. In December 2014 Brent founded HK Austin, a hostel in Austin, Texas after staying in 150 hostels across 30 countries. For 2015, HK Austin was the highest-rated hostel in the United States. “I’m not going to call it a ghost town anymore. I’m going to call it home.”
Buy our NEW BOOK, The Score That Matters Full show notes Think BIG... But choose what to be ambitious about. Get clear on that first. Simple Modern is a $225m bootstrapped business... Mike owns the majority of the company. Mission: "We exist to give generously." Simple Modern is an employee-owned Oklahoma based company whose mission statement is we exist to give generously. Our desire is to make 5-star products offering remarkable value so we can give to worthy organizations making the world a better place. Use the "75-year-old self principle:" - What would your 75-year-old self regret if you didn't do? (credit: Jeff Bezos) Leadership stages: Player Player/Coach Coach General Manager "I love the name of your podcast. You have to keep learning." What are the best and worst parts of being a CEO? Best: Building culture, being part of a community, having lunch every day with your team. It creates huge leverage to do great work. Worst: Stress, isolation. Understanding your identity? Is it too tied up in an unhealthy place?  Mike's purpose: Teaching Giving Leading and creating value Parenting Positively alter the lives of others (as many as possible) "Great leaders create more leaders. We measure it wrong. It should be about creating more leaders." The professor, Rufus Fears, started the lecture. The first thing out of his mouth was, "If you are here trying to get a pink slip, I can tell you that the class is full, and there will be no pink slips given." Mike did not let that stop him. He stayed after class, talked with Professor Fears, went to his office, and talked with him. And earned entry to his class (and a few others of his later). It’s a great lesson that we need to be proactive and take initiative. We need to go after what we want. Is your identity coming from a healthy place? Is it coming from accomplishments, titles, or materialistic things? Money? Or have you found your identity in something bigger than yourself? A well-defined purpose almost always stems from helping other people. Why you should write: There are multiple levels of understanding. They are: You know nothing, then you have an intuitive understanding of something but you can’t explain it to someone else, then you actually behave in a deliberate way and can explain it. That goes to a point where you can understand a situation in real-time. And finally, you get to the point where you can teach it to someone else. A writing practice can help clarify your thinking and help you better understand something so well that you can teach it to others. Let’s develop a writing practice. Writing scales. Hosting a podcast scales. They also increase your surface area for luck and serendipity. Why Mike has no desire to sell Simple Modern: The whole point of having money is that we can trade it for things that are better than money. "You can't convert money to friendships. You can't buy things that give you meaning & purpose. Life is in pursuit of priceless things." Mike's favorite marketing pitch ever (Jon Hamm in Mad Men): Kodak asks for a branding campaign around a new product. It is a circular device that allows you to flip through pictures. Kodak hopes to  highlight the technology and call the product "the wheel." Then, they get a master class on branding from Jon Hamm in Mad Men… Before we can lead others well, we have to be internally healthy. Leadership is an inside-out exercise. What do you value? It is easy to determine what someone truly cares about: What do they do with their free time? Where do they spend their extra money? "I frequently spend time comparing what I say I value to what my behavior shows because the worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves."
Do you want to live in alignment with your purpose and values? Read our new book, The Score That Matters Full show notes at Notes on my conversation with former CEO of 7-Eleven and Blockbuster, Jim Keyes: From adversity to the stars. Per ardua ad astra is a Latin phrase meaning "through adversity to the stars.” Adversity is your advantage. The tough moments you’re going through will help you be stronger long term. This is a useful mindset shift. "Adversity is an advantage." How did Jim get hired the first time and continually get promoted? He told the truth.  He was unafraid to tell it like it really was. No fluffy language. He got right to it and let them know how he could help them. He focused on THEM, not him. They don’t care about why you think you deserve the job. They care about their company and if you’ll be able to help solve their problems. Focus on them, their issues, and how you can help them. That’s what Jim has done his entire career. The C-Suite Learnings What – Change, Confidence, Clarity How - Critical thinking (ask why), curiosity, and creativity (have fun) Why - Collaboration, Culture literacy (learn from others experiences), and character Jim became one of the youngest managers in this history of McDonald's. "The only one that likes change is a wet baby. Change is reality. Change equals opportunity." CEO = "Change Equals Opportunity." Confidence is all about preparation. The more you prepare, the more confident you'll be. Clarity and Simplicity. "The hardest thing in the world is to keep things simple." "True elegance is in simplicity." "I can't lead if you can't understand. So, it's up to me to keep things simple and clear." Nelson Mandela once said, “I never lose…I win, or I learn.” "There are three prerequisites to a successful business transformation in the face of change: cash management, confidence, and collaboration. Managing cash flow is, by far, the most important but maintaining sufficient cash requires confidence and collaboration."  
Read our new book, The Score That Matters Full show notes at Notes: Just two years into Amy's work as a therapist, her mother passed away unexpectedly. Exactly three years to the day later, her 26-year-old husband, Lincoln, died of a heart attack. So she set out on a personal journey to learn as much as she could about grief, mental health, and mental strength. Amy decided that she would live life to the fullest. She rode mules into the Grand Canyon, went skydiving, took flying trapeze lessons, spent the night in 49 states, got 6-pack abs in 28 days, and started driving a motorcycle Amy’s daily challenge: She pushes herself to run a mile as fast as she can. It forces her outside of her comfort zone and ensures mental and physical growth. Pleasant activity scheduling. Put them on the calendar. Block out time for pleasant experiences together with your partner, your family, and your friends. You then look forward to those moments, get to experience those moments, and then create memory dividends that you’ll have for life. Schedule pleasant activities.  Don’t take your partner for granted. I think this goes for any relationship, but especially for those of us who are in committed long-term relationships with a spouse. Think of the Tony Robbins story: For the past twenty years, each day when he gets home from work, he has a “Honey I’m home” routine where they share a big embrace and a kiss and they both bring positive energy to the interaction. This sets the tone so that their relationship doesn’t get boring. What Mentally Strong Couples Do: They don't ignore their problems. - Whether they face a sudden financial hiccup or experience issues related to intimacy, mentally strong couples address their problems head-on. They engage in difficult conversations and confront their issues, regardless of the discomfort it might bring. By working together to find solutions early on, they prevent their problems from escalating. They don’t keep secrets. - Mentally strong couples respect each other's privacy, like allowing one another to have private conversations with friends. However, they draw the line at keeping secrets. They’re honest about everything, whether it’s how much they really spent on an item or the fact that a co-worker has been flirting with them. They prioritize open discussion over potential discomfort because they understand that trust is the foundation of their relationship. They don’t hesitate to set boundaries - Mentally strong couples know the importance of setting boundaries with each other. For instance, one partner may need to refrain from responding to text messages during the workday as it interferes with their job. But they also set boundaries to shield their relationship from external influences, like an overbearing mother-in-law or a relative who asks to borrow money. Together, they establish financial, physical, emotional, social, and temporal boundaries that enable them to function at their best. They don’t become martyrs - Mentally strong couples understand that while sacrifices are part of a relationship, it doesn't mean giving up everything to the point of self-destruction. They steer clear of bitterness and resentment for the things they've done for the family. Instead, they set boundaries, voice their needs, and take care of their well-being. They don't use their emotions as weapons - It’s healthy to experience and express a wide variety of emotions. But mentally strong couples don’t weaponize their emotions. For instance, a strong individual won’t cry to avoid a tough conversation, and they won’t raise their voice to get their way. Their focus is on managing their emotions, not controlling their partner's actions. They don't try to "fix" each other - While they work toward bringing out the best in each other, mentally strong individuals don't try to "fix" their partners. They strive to be a positive influence but respect their partner's autonomy to make personal choices—even when they don’t agree with those choices. They support their partner’s attempts at self-improvement but understand that they can't do the work on their partner's behalf. They don’t communicate with disrespect - While most couples understand that name-calling or belittling each other can harm their relationship, mentally strong couples also pay attention to the subtle aspects of communication that can make a significant difference (like looking up from their devices to hold a conversation). They prioritize active listening, understanding each other's perspectives, and expressing their feelings in a healthy manner. They don't blame each other for their issues - A mentally strong individual doesn't pass the buck by saying things like, "I'd be happier if my partner changed." Instead, they take ownership of their happiness. They refrain from blaming their partner for their struggles, acknowledging that everyone has the power to bring about change. They never lose sight of why they fell in love - Mentally strong couples ensure their love endures even as circumstances evolve. Career advancements, parenthood, and shifting responsibilities may make their lives look different from when they first met, but they never forget why they chose each other. Remembering why they fell in love helps them stay committed to resolving issues and working things out. They don't expect their relationship to meet all their needs - These couples don't subscribe to the notion that their partner will "complete" them. They understand that they each have to fulfill some of their own needs. Whether it's spending time with friends for recreational companionship or pursuing personal hobbies, they realize they have the agency and flexibility to meet their needs in various ways. They don't neglect their partnership - Mentally resilient couples understand that while there will be multiple demands on their attention—children, extended family, work—they can’t neglect their relationship. They discuss their priorities and collaborate to maintain their connection, even during phases of life when they're being pulled in different directions. They don't take each other for granted - The strongest couples don’t overlook the kindness, love, and affection their partner provides. They express gratitude and appreciation for each other regularly. Frequent conversations about what they value, tokens of appreciation, and genuine gratitude are integral to their partnership. They don’t stop growing and changing - Mentally strong couples strive for personal growth but also ensure they don't grow apart. They aren't intimidated by their partner's individual progress. As they secure new jobs, take on fresh responsibilities, and change their viewpoints, they make sure their relationship evolves accordingly. It's inspirational when both partners are invested in strengthening their relationship. However, often one partner may be more focused on building mental strength and strengthening the relationship than the other. The good news is that one person can significantly impact the overall health of the relationship. You can start improving your relationship by giving up any unhealthy habits that could weaken your relationship. When you make the decision to change your habits, you can grow stronger as an individual while also strengthening your relationship, even if your partner isn’t invested in building their own mental strength right away.
Order our new book, The Score That Matters Rob Henderson has a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Cambridge, where he studied as a Gates Cambridge Scholar. He obtained a B.S. in psychology from Yale University and is a veteran of the U.S. Air Force. He's the author of Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class Self-discipline beats motivation. Often, people say they need to feel “motivated” to perform a task. Motivation, though, is just a feeling. Self-discipline is “I’m going to do this, regardless of how I feel.” Air Force Training – "My favorite part of training was the camaraderie. I especially enjoyed drill and marching. The synchronized movement with others, moving as a single element, instilled a feeling of belonging." – The military provided a structured environment. Rob said that whenever he felt like an outsider, he sought refuge in helping others. Because of that, he volunteered at New Haven Reads near Yale. While there, he met a kid named Guillermo. There, he learned how to relate with others by sharing his story. Writing: Rob was accepted into the War Horse Writing Seminar at Columbia University. The program was designed to help veterans write about their experiences. External Achievement: "Upon obtaining a few totems of achievement, I came to realize that they are flawed measures of success. External accomplishments are trivial compared with a warm and loving family. Going to school is far less important than having a parent who cares enough to make sure you get to class every day." Two of Rob's mom’s friends came to him for advice. They were talking about their 6-year-old son and they were concerned with how “smart” he was. They asked, “Should we be reading to him more?” And Rob responded, “Yeah, but not because it will expand his vocabulary. Read to him because it will remind him that you love him.” The best and worst things about Yale: Best Students work ethic Focused Unique pursuits Worst Self-censorship One of his instructors at Sheppard Air Force Base in Texas asked the class one Friday afternoon if they had any questions. Rob asked, “If you could do it all over again, would you still have enlisted?” – “Understand that the Air Force is going to ask a lot from you. Just remember that you can get a lot in return from it, as well.” Luxury beliefs - Rob coined the term to describe beliefs that mark the believer as holding the approved opinion while harming those less privileged. Lessons Learned The Hard Way: You are what you do. Not what you say or what you believe. People use words to strategically justify their actions and blind you to who they really are. Don't be fooled by cheap talk. Pay close attention to how people actually spend their time and effort. Good conversations are made up of questions. Avoid speaking for longer than three minutes without asking one. When seeking advice, ask people in a different life station than you—ahead or behind, older or younger. People in the same position are often biased by envy, and this can color the advice they give. One of the most common life regrets people report is “I wish I had let myself be happier.” You'll never be happy if you continue thinking that you’ll be happy one day. “The study of happiness often sounds like a sermon for traditional values. The numbers show it is not the rich, privileged, robust, or good-looking who are happy; it is those who have spouses, friends, religion, and challenging, meaningful work” - Steven Pinker (How The Mind Works) 35% of people in America graduate with a bachelor's degree, 11% of people from poor families graduate from college. And just 3% of foster kids graduate from college. When you think about Rob’s story, it’s hard not to be inspired. He’s beaten almost impossible odds to not only graduate from college, but he served our country, then went to Yale, graduated, and got his PhD from Cambridge. It’s awesome to see what he’s done and he’s still so young and at the beginning of his career. I love it when good things happen to good people. Life/career advice - “Be a fish out of water. Do something hard. Be uncomfortable.” That was advice for a recent grad, but I think it’s useful for all of us.
Order our new book, The Score That Matters Full show notes at For the past 40+ years, Tony Robbins has been known worldwide as one of the most impactful business and life coaches in the world. He’s hosted millions of people at his events, written 6 international best-selling books, he’s involved in more than 100 businesses that have done more than 7 billion dollars in revenue, and as part of his work with Feeding America, Tony has provided more than 850 million meals to those in need. He’s personally coached President Bill Clinton, Serena Williams, Connor McGregor, Marc Benioff, Usher, the Golden State Warriors, and many others. Notes: The advice Tony received from Jim Rohn. "Your job is to become more valuable. We are all equal as souls, but not equal in the marketplace." “If you want things to get better, you’ve got to get better.” Commonalities among leaders who sustain excellence: They find something they care about more than themselves, they have a hunger for it, and they work amazingly hard at it. “You’re rewarded in public for what you practice in private.” Steph Curry has taken far more practice shots than game ones. He’s rewarded in public for what he does in private. How to build confidence: Preparation creates certainty.  “Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” The essence of building confidence is this: If you go into a situation knowing that you can handle it – whatever it is – then that's exactly what you'll do. “A belief is a poor substitute for an experience.” You might believe it’s something you’re going to love, but you don’t fully know until you do it. Get in the arena and do it. See what it’s like. That’s when you’ll learn.     Tony learned NLP from John Grinder (founder of NLP). Neuro-Linguistic Programming. is an approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy, that first appeared in Richard Bandler and John Grinder's 1975 book The Structure of Magic I. NLP asserts that there is a connection between neurological processes, language, and acquired behavioral patterns, and that these can be changed to achieve specific goals in life. “The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” “Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards.” “The power of positive thinking is the ability to generate a feeling of certainty in yourself when nothing in the environment supports you.” "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."― George Bernard Shaw Tony interviewed a dozen of the world’s most successful investors in private equity, private credit, private real estate, and venture capital. He wanted to learn everything he could about the private markets and investing.  Ray Dalio - Apply diversification across 8-12 uncorrelated investments. 
Order our new book, The Score That Matters Full show notes at William Ury is the co-author of Getting to Yes, the world’s all-time bestselling book on negotiation with more than 15 million copies sold, and co-founder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation. Bill has devoted his life to helping people, organizations, and nations transform conflicts around the world, having served as a negotiator in many of the toughest disputes of our times, taught negotiation to tens of thousands, and consulted for dozens of Fortune 500 companies, the White House, the State Department, and the Pentagon. Based in the mountains of Colorado where he loves to hike, Bill is an internationally sought-after speaker and has two popular TEDx talks with millions of viewers. Notes: Your life’s work: “If you had to boil your life’s work down to just one sentence you could leave behind, what would it say?” This is a great question for us to ask ourselves to gain clarity on our purpose and what we were put here to do. What is your life’s work? On one of Bill's hikes with Jim Collins in Boulder, Colorado, he asked, “When did you first discover your interest in and instinct for what became your life’s work?” Be trustworthy AND trust willing. Become known as a person who trusts others first without making people earn it. Yes, you’ll get burned every once in a while, but I’ve found it’s worth it. Leading with trust seems to attract the type of people you want to be around. On a freezing night in January 1977, the phone rang at 10:00 pm. Bill was living in a little rented room in the attic of an old wooden house in Cambridge, Massachusetts. He was 23, writing term papers, and studying hard for graduate school exams in social anthropology. Bill picked up the phone… “I was particularly struck by Bill’s rare ability to bring calm and optimism to seemingly intractable conflicts and by his blend of intellectual clarity and practical wisdom.” - Jim Collins Go to hardest places: Instead of sharpening his intellect and insights by doing research sitting in a plush faculty office at some Ivy League institute, Bill decided to “go to the hardest places first,” throwing himself into political negotiations in the Middle East. “𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒏𝒆𝒈𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒔, 𝑰 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆, 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒐 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒚, 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒅 𝒂 𝒈𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒈𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒐𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒅 𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆. 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒕, 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑩𝑩𝟑.” “The only book to write is the one you cannot not write.” What are the 3 victories on the path to possible? The story of the wise old woman and the camels... The story of Vasili Arkhipov and Sub B-59 (the pause, calm, reactive to proactive).   Bring your spirit of play. That’s one of the things about Bill that I couldn’t help but notice from the second we connected. He was smiling, laughing, and enjoying himself the entire time. He was having fun. What’s the point of doing all of this if we don’t have some fun along the way?
Order and Read our new book, The Score That Matters Full show notes at Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12 What do leaders who sustain excellence do? They have the ability to be present for an extended period of time. They are here now. They live a life that creates a sustainable presence. They are fully present. Be here now. Fully here. This makes you available for this creative moment. Play the long game. Excellent leaders play the long game. "Live a life that creates sustainable presence." Space and Place: It's important to know your soul's home: For Jim: Northern Michigan. Quiet, still, simple, in nature... "It's recharging for me." Lead and live intentionally to get to your flow state. Ask: What is it that creates the most "alive-ness" in you? Do an energy audit. Look at your calendar for the last week. What events make your energy go up, stay neutral, or go down? Maximize for people and events that make your energy go up. "Populate your life with what you love." Are you willing to be fully alive? What are you willing to risk to make that happen? Get rid of energy downers. You can do that in 3 ways. Dump it, Delegate it Do it differently Responsibility – By me: I commit to taking full responsibility for the circumstances of my life, and my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. I commit to support others to take full responsibility for their lives. I have to = Victim mindset I choose to = Ownership mindset To me = At the effect of other things. Outside my locus of control. By me = Inside. I am the cause of the experience. Radical responsibility. How am I causing the experience? Josh Waitzkin - Make weather what it is. Play in the rain. Curiosity is everything as a leader. The opposite of curiosity is always needing/wanting to be right. Deconstruct all the places where you want to be right. Most of it stems from fear. There are three fears: Approval Control Security Curiosity - I commit to growing in self-awareness. I commit to regarding every interaction as an opportunity to learn. I commit to curiosity as a path to rapid learning. Candor - I commit to saying what is true for me. I commit to being a person to whom others can express themselves with candor. Accountability and Responsibility: Responsibility is not something that can be assigned, it is something that has to be taken. Responsibility lives in the world of integrity and impeccable agreements. Speak truth in love. “We often describe unconscious leaders as reactive. They react from a “story” about the past or an imagined future, and their personality, ego, or mind takes over.”
Order our new book, The Score That Matters Full show notes at “Rejection is a test if you really want something. The upside of asking is unlimited.” "People are afraid of asking. The people who make it happen are willing to ask, be rejected, and keep going." One of the biggest lessons learned from working with Mark Zuckerberg? Pick one goal. Then focus relentlessly on reaching it. His was 1 billion users on Facebook. This is how Noah has grown App Sumo to $80m in revenue. Focus on one big goal and the system implemented to make it happen. Noah's parental influence: Fearlessness - Ask for everything. Set rejection goals. You learn that selling copiers door to door. His mom is very disciplined. Always working out in the gym. She follows through. She's persistent. She grinds. His mom also hated her job. "I don't want to live a 'what-if' life" "Are we getting what we get or are we getting what we want?" The law of 100 -- Do the thing 100 times before you quit. Get going, get started. It's about now, not how. Create an exciting vision: "What are we looking forward to?" Million Dollar Weekend: Start it Build it Grow it Noah's philosophy on interviewing: 1) Talk with people you're genuinely interested in 2) Tell them how they’ve positively impacted your life. People love genuine compliments. And they loved to hear that they’ve helped others. 3) Tell them what's in it for them. Create questions that make your guests excited to answer (set them up to tell interesting stories) Entrepreneurship is not risky. Risky is spending your life at a job you hate, with people you don’t like, working on problems you don’t care about. Freedom is about gaining control of your schedule. Money is the tool, not the goal. This trip was one of my highlights of the fall. Nothing like biking across America. So much good time to think and reflect. Reminds me that whenever you’re in a funk, just get moving. (Helps to be surrounded by beautiful landscapes) The future of big business is small teams. One person. No employees. Everything automated. Solopreneurs are the future. Acknowledgements: Adam Gilbert for our bike ride ten-plus years ago where I shared a dream to put my knowledge into a book for other people. And for always always being my guardian angel. Tahl Raz - I dreamed for years of the chance to work with you on a book. Thank you for taking a chance on me. Somehow you were magically able to take all my adventures/theories/ideas/antics and put them together in a helpful narrative better than I could have ever dreamed. Thank you! Also for being a mutual lover of schvitzing.
Order our new book, The Score That Matters. Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join 10's of thousands of your fellow learning leaders and receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at X/IG: @RyanHawk12 Ariel wants to be the "Howard Cosell of MMA". “I got the interview skills from my mom, who my friends would always call for advice, and the work ethic from my dad, who never gave an excuse or took a sick day." "So one of the things that early on, before I became a dad was I want to be omnipresent. I believe in this quote from Woody Allen "80% of success is just showing up." I want to be at every single event. I want to be the guy that people when they think of big fights, they think of me. Howard Cosell, of MMA, all that stuff and more." Ariel's Parents: "My mom still watches my show every week, and it's a long show about a topic she doesn't know a hell of a lot about. But she does it because she loves and supports me." "She's the mom that a lot of my brother's girlfriends and stuff would stay in touch with, even after they broke up. Because she just had that connection with people. She asks questions, she listens, she has a good mind and eye for things." "My dad is a workaholic, and he'd be the first to tell you that. He's the kind of guy who, every day, I'd see him Monday through Friday, wake up, go to work at around seven, come home at around seven. He would have this massive box of papers, he would sit at the dinner table, and he would work on all the papers. He would take his shower at like 9:30, go to bed, and start over again, and he couldn't have been happier." Syracuse: In 9th grade, he was reading Sports Illustrated and learned that the U.S.’s top sportscasting degree is earned at Syracuse. Bob Costas went there. Marv Albert went there. So he went to Syracuse. Being homesick and full of anxiety in college: "I wouldn't want to go to the dining hall to eat, so I just stocked up on Blue Diamond almonds. Which I have a hard time eating till this day because it reminds me of those days. Chef Boyardee, Alphagetti, that's what I was eating. I was watching sports in my room, by myself, I had a single room, and I was just crippled with this anxiety. And every time I would leave home to come back to school, like Thanksgiving break was over, and whatnot, Christmas break, I was sad. I was down." When he knew he wanted to cover MMA – back home in the fall of 2006 when he found himself in Champs Sports Bar, on Saint Laurent Boulevard, where the TVs were tuned to a UFC pay-per-view special. When the Quebec-born fighter Georges St-Pierre beat up Matt Hughes and scored a TKO to win the welterweight championship, “the place explodes like the Canadiens just won the Stanley Cup. And I’m like: ‘I want to be a part of this sport.’” Being the Heel – He learned from Howard Cosell, who was known as a heel, the pro wrestling term for the bad guy who people tune in to see fall.  “Heelwani” What does it take to be a great interviewer? Be prepared. Ask thoughtful questions. Don’t script the conversation. LISTEN. Ask better follow ups. Make it feel more like a conversation. Feuds with Dana White: "I'm the type of person who doesn't back down, in large part because of my parents and my family, and they never back down, so how could I? And why should I? Especially if I'm not doing anything wrong. So I would say I never sought it, I always try to diffuse it, privately. I don't try to get into Twitter wars and things like that, with other people. Where it seems like they spend their life over there trying to go back and forth. That being said, to your point, which is a great point, having an understanding of pro wrestling, and storylines, and feuds. And I come out of my ESPN chapter as Helwani, and punching back, and it's "High road Helwani, no more" and all that. Yes, sure, there's a little bit of pro wrestling in there, and I love pro wrestling. And I believe that there are a lot of elements in pro wrestling in a lot of different walks of life, including politics and whatnot. Good guy/bad guy, heel/face, all that stuff." How conduct a great interview? "You have to listen, you have to be ready to open your mind, open your heart, and not feel, again, like you're just coming out guns blazing, and hitting someone with haymakers. Listen to them, be soft, be gentle, be welcoming. But, again, Howard Stern, no one did it better, he breaks you down to the point where you think that you're just two guys sitting around, or a girl and a guy sitting around, and there are not even cameras or microphones. They forget that they're on a show, if you're empathetic, if you're warm, if you're welcoming, that's the best result." Make the ASK - Ariel knocked on the door of a senior executive at ESPN. The guy didn’t even know who he was. And he asked to be a sideline reporter at basketball games. The senior exec said nobody had ever done that in 20 years. If you want something, ASK for it. Steve Jobs said the difference between the people who dream about stuff and the people who make it happen is the willingness to ask. You gotta ask. "I walked into his office, and there's a lesson, I think, here, for a lot of people. And I was like, "Hey, I have no credibility in the world of basketball, very few people know who I am. I don't have many sources. But if you ever need someone, in the 11th hour someone gets sick, someone gets hurt, I'll be your guy. I'll be your sideline reporter. I know to do that. And he said, "I'll be honest; I've never heard of you. I've never seen MMA. I've never seen your work. But I've been here 20 plus years, and no one has ever done what you just did, so I'll keep you in mind." Which was an amazing thing to hear, and mind-blowing that no one does that. All the offices are right there, just knock on the door."
Pre-order our new book, "The Score That Matters." Go to for full show notes. This is episode #563 of The Learning Leader Show. My guest is Dr. Mike Massimino. The 3 Trusts - Trust your gear, trust your training, trust your team… And the 4th: trust yourself. Mike persisted through 3 rejections over 7 years on his way to becoming an astronaut, including overcoming a medical disqualification by training his eyes and brain to see better. Mike participated in a mission that significantly increased Hubble’s discovery potential and led to the award of a Nobel Prize in physics for the discovery of dark energy during a spacewalk. Why Mike was chosen to be an astronaut: Mike has a great combination of competence (he knows his stuff) and high character. He’s the type of guy that can get along and work with anyone. He’s honest, humble, and authentic. The power of having a deep passion for what you’re doing. Mike watched Neil Armstrong walk on the moon when he was six years old and then did whatever he could over the rest of his life to become an astronaut. His desire to become an astronaut led him to go to prestigious universities, earn his Ph.D., become a pilot, become scuba certified, develop great communication skills, and so much more. All of that work led to him accomplishing what he set out to do when he was just 6 years old. “I knew right then that I wanted to be a part of something that meaningful. I wanted to have something I was so passionate about that I'd be willing to risk everything for it. I wanted to know that if I ever got killed, I got killed doing something worthwhile. The kid who looked up at the moon and wasn't afraid to dream - I decided that part of me deserved a chance. I sat there in that reception area, watching the crash footage play over and over again on the television, and that was when it hit home for me: you only have one life. You have to spend it doing something that matters.” What Mike learned from Alan Bean: The most important lesson is to care for and admire everyone on your team. “My favorite lecturer was Alan Bean, who flew on Apollo 12 and is one of the twelve guys who walked on the moon. After retiring from NASA, he became a painter. Alan's lecture was called "The Art of Space Exploration." He talked about the mistakes he'd made and how he learned to fix them. One lesson that took him a while to learn was that at a place like NASA you can only have an effect on certain things. You can't control who likes you. You can't control who gets assigned to flights or what NASA's budget is going to be next year. If you get caught up worrying about things you can't control, you'll drive yourself nuts. It's better to focus on the things right in front of you. Identify the places where you can have a positive impact. Concentrate there and let the rest take care of itself. The last thing Alan said to us was 'What most people want in life is to do something great. That doesn't happen often. Don't take it for granted. Don't be blasé about it. And don't blow it. A lot of times, believe it or not, people blow it. “Kennedy’s address announcing the Apollo program was one of the great presidential speeches of all time. He challenged us. He excited us. We reach for impossible things, he said, “not because they are easy, but because they are hard.”  Competence + Character = Trust. The Right Stuff - The Original 7 Astronauts. If you have a bad boss, what should you do: Stay the course Lead by example “Life is funny. I'd applied to the wrong graduate program, but that eventually led me to the right grad program. I'd taken what I thought was the wrong undergraduate major, and that was the thing that set me apart and allowed me to find my niche. I don't know if there are any lessons to take from that except to realize that the things you think are mistakes may turn out not to be mistakes. I realized wherever you are, if you make the most of what you've got, you can find a way to keep moving forward.” “If you can learn to live with indignities in life, you can go far.” “That's how a team works. You help the people around you, and everybody's better off for it. The crazy thing is that most of those guys wanted to be astronauts, too, but they never saw it as a competition. We were on the same team, where you want everyone around you to be as successful as possible, because in some way or another their success will become your success. It's good karma - what goes around comes around.” “Right after we launched, I realized that all the training we'd on what to do if something went wrong during launch-how to bail out , how to operate the parachutes, how to make an emergency landing-I realized that all those years of training were completely pointless. It was just filler to make us feel okay about climbing into this thing. Because if it's going down, it's going down. It's either going to be a good day or it's going to be a bad day, and there is no in-between.” “The camaraderie that firefighters have, that brotherhood that forms among them - my father was a part of that, and it came from having a shared sense of purpose. He told me that whatever you do in life, it can't just be about making money. It's important that you work to make the world a better place, that you help improve the lives of the people around you.” Perspective: Mike shares how looking down on Earth from space changed his perspective and filled him with deep gratitude.
Order our new book, The Score That Matters. Text Hawk to 66866 to become part of "Mindful Monday." Join 10's of thousands of your fellow learning leaders and receive a carefully curated email from me each Monday morning to help you start your week off right... Full show notes at X/IG: @RyanHawk12 Nikki Glaser is one of the funniest female voices in comedy today. For nearly two decades at clubs across the country, stand-up comedian, actress, podcaster, and TV host. In July of 2022, she headlined her first HBO comedy special, GOOD CLEAN FILTH, which has been nominated for a Critics Choice Award for Best Comedy Special. Nikki was a standout at the Comedy Central Roasts of Alec Baldwin, Bruce Willis, and Rob Lowe, which led to her guest-hosting JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE! Nikki is currently on her nationwide and international comedy tour, THE GOOD GIRL TOUR, which kicked off in January 2023. Before coming on The Learning Leader Show, Nikki has done in-depth interviews with Howard Stern, Marc Maron, Conan O'Brien, and Joe Rogan. Notes: When Nikki is bombing on stage, she has a great method to reset. "Just say what's true." "Everyone is putting on a mask. Everyone is trying to present in a different way. If you just say what’s true, it’s the funniest.” Nikki is a professional “noticer of things.” This is why I think great stand-ups are modern-day philosophers. They notice things and then have a way to share them in a unique and funny way with all of us. We laugh because they’ve said what’s true, but have done it in a way that we haven’t thought of before. As leaders, we should be more aware and notice things more often. The writing process: "You need to pay attention constantly to everything to see what could potentially be a joke. Sometimes, in the middle of a conversation with a friend, I'll tell them to hold on because I need to take out my phone and type something funny that I just saw. If you don't write it down, you won't remember it." Just get started. What advice for someone who wants to do something? You have to do it. The way to get good is to get going. Nikki has become one of the premier comedians in the world because she’s pushed past her fear and signed up for the things that she’s not sure she can do. Last comic standing at age 20, celebrity roasts, hosting TV shows. She wasn’t necessarily ready for any of the work she agreed to do, but she did it anyway and then figured it out. We all can learn from that. Nikki is the voice of Dave Matthews Band radio on Sirius/XM Radio. She had terrible stage fright when she was younger. Nikki would have insomnia for weeks before a classroom presentation and shake the entire time. Her first TV appearance was on Last Comic Standing when she was 20. Nikki waited in line at open auditions in Chicago in the snow. “I always wanted to be a singer. But I think that I’m also someone who’s not very comfortable with sincerity and emotions." (She placed third on her season of The Masked Singer) Nikki is starting her own Taylor Swift cover band. Meeting Jerry Seinfeld – “We’re walking through the bowels of the casino, and I get over to his greenroom and he greets me,” Glaser said. “And he was like, ‘I’m such a fan, I’ve watched everything you do. I pull up your YouTube clips all the time whenever I want a laugh. And you’ve got it, girl, you have the voice...’ Jerry Seinfeld identifies “taste and discernment” as the ultimate skill of great artists. In every creative field, Seinfeld says, the dividing line between those who succeed and those who fail is the ability to discern good and bad: “It’s one thing to create,” Seinfeld says. “The other is you have to choose. What are we going to do, and what are we not going to do?’ This is a gigantic aspect of artistic survival. It’s kind of unseen, what’s picked and what is discarded, but mastering that is how you stay alive.”  
Order our new book, The Score That Matters, now! Full show notes at Commonalities of leaders who sustain excellence: Curiosity (ask lots of questions) Willingness to try something new Compassion - Assume you don't know others' struggles  Bob worked with Ed Catmull (Pixar) He was one of the best at combining curiosity, willingness to try new things, and having compassion for people Good Boss vs. Bad Boss Good bosses ask lots of questions and then make the call (John Hennessey, Stanford President)  The Jumbo Grocery Stores in Holland created “slow lanes” for those who wanted to talk… They didn’t want efficiency or speed, they wanted a conversation. It’s a good reminder that sometimes we should slow down and enjoy our surroundings and the people we’re with… Curiosity and Compassion are skills we can build. Take the experiment where they counted the number of questions versus statements and your talking time. Surround yourself with people who will give you direct feedback about your level of curiosity and compassion… When conversing with someone else, how often are you asking questions versus talking about yourself? Think about that… It’s not always right to be efficient… Bob shared the Jerry Seinfeld story… The network was considering bringing in McKinsey to help Jerry become more efficient when making his show. He asked, “Are they funny?” They said, no that’s not what they do. And he said, “Then I don’t need them.” It’s not always supposed to be efficient. Sometimes, the hard way is the right way… To get the best result, it usually is. Some things Bob believes (we should all post an essay about what we believe): Indifference is as important as passion. The best leaders know what it feels like to work for them. They overcome the urge to focus attention on powerful superiors rather than their followers The best leaders think and act as trustees of their employees' and customers' time. They are "friction fixers" who hold themselves and others responsible for making the right things easier and the wrong things harder. That might mean, for example, reducing friction by eliminating and revamping meetings. "Am I a success or a failure?" is not useful. It is better to ask “What am I learning.” Noam Bardin (from Waze) Laszlo Bock - For hiring, "If you need to interview someone more than 4 times, then you must get written approval." This helped speed up the process. One of the roles of the leader is to be the editor-in-chief. Great leaders are great communicators. You must become a good writer and speaker if you want to lead.  Life/Career advice: Seek variation each day A chief of staff job could lead to big things (if you work for the right person) Be kind
Pre-order our new book, The Score That Matters Full show notes at Dr. Barry Posner, author of The Leadership Challenge and The Truth About Leadership   The 4 characteristics of leaders whom we would most choose to follow: Honest (trustworthy, they do what they say they’re going to do) Competent (Smart, and constantly learning) Inspiring - Energetic, enthusiastic. Inspire means to breathe life in to... Forward-looking - They have a sense of the future. They share a compelling vision People all have values, but not everyone knows what they are. To know what our values are, we must be thoughtful and intentional about them and do the reflective work to understand what we value most. What is Kouzes and Posner's leadership theory? Their research, which they conducted over almost 20 years, suggested that leadership is not a position, but a collection of practices and behaviors. These practices serve as guidance for leaders to accomplish their achievements or “to get extraordinary things done. The Leadership Challenge – Leaders drive results and achieve goals. To face the obstacles of today and tomorrow, we need leaders at a high level. The Leadership Challenge gives everyone the tools and practices to Model the Way, Inspire a Shared Vision, Challenge the Process, Enable Others to Act, and Encourage the Hearts of those around them. "In the middle of responding to an audience question one of us was saying, “I don’t know what you call something that’s been the same for twenty-five years, but…,” and Ken Blanchard interrupted, exclaiming, 'I’d call it the truth.'" The Truth About Leadership The first truth is that You Make a Difference.  The second truth is that Credibility Is the Foundation of Leadership. If people don’t believe in you, they won’t willingly follow you.  The third truth is that Values Drive Commitment. People want to know what you stand for and believe in.  The fourth truth is that Focusing on the Future Sets Leaders Apart. The capacity to imagine and articulate exciting future possibilities is a defining competence of leaders. You have to take the long-term perspective.  You Can’t Do It Alone is the fifth truth. Leadership is a team sport…What strengthens and sustains the relationship between leader and constituent is that leaders are obsessed with what is best for others, not what is best for themselves.  Trust Rules is the sixth truth. Trust is the social glue that holds individuals and groups together. And the level of trust others have in you will determine the amount of influence you have. You have to earn your constituents’ trust before they’ll be willing to trust you. That means you have to give trust before you can get trust.  The seventh truth is that Challenge Is the Crucible for Greatness. Great achievements don’t happen when you keep things the same. Change invariably involves a challenge, and challenge tests you.  Truth number eight reminds you that You Either Lead by Example or You Don’t Lead at All. Leaders have to keep their promises and become role models for the values and actions they espouse.  Truth number nine is that The Best Leaders Are the Best Learners. Leaders are constant improvement fanatics, and learning is the master skill of leadership. The tenth truth is that Leadership Is an Affair of the Heart. It could also be the first truth. Leaders are in love with their constituents, their customers and clients, and the mission that they are serving. Leaders make others feel important and are gracious in showing their appreciation. Love is the motivation that energizes leaders to give so much for others. You just won’t work hard enough to become great if you aren’t doing what you love. Credo = Beliefs (credibility) Leadership is a team sport. You can't do it alone. We are all community-made. The best leaders are the best learners. Challenge is the crucible for greatness. Life/Career advice: Remain curious Ask questions Volunteer
Comments (10)

Paul Keefer

When I first heard of Mayor Adams, I was curious what it would be like to hear more of his personal development side and what made him who is now. Ryan was the perfect person to interview him for that!

Oct 13th

Ana Stubbs

We know that a good relationship does not outweigh results and performance. But what happens when you have an employee with whom you do not have a good relationship but he or she consistently produces at a high level?

Sep 8th


Disturbing the traditional, what a total different interpretation Talent: careful preparation. Skill: persistent revision

Aug 2nd
Reply (1)


Common factors and unique factors

Dec 13th


six types of working genius? Wonder - People with this genius can’t help but question whether things could be better in the world around them. They are troubled whenever they see unmet potential, and they are constantly curious and on the lookout for the need to change something. Invention - This type of genius is all about creativity. People who have it love to generate new ideas and solutions to problems and are even comfortable coming up with something out of nothing. Discernment - People with this type of genius have a natural ability when it comes to evaluating or assessing a given idea or situation and providing guidance. They have good instincts, gut feel and judgment about the subtleties of making decisions that integrate logic, common sense and human needs. Galvanizing - This type of genius is about bringing energy and movement to an idea or decision. People who have it like to initiate activity by rallying people to act and inspiring them to get involved. Enablement - People

Nov 12th

Ana Stubbs

very enlightening. build or run.....excellent advice.

Jul 29th

Eric Smith

loved this podcast. Mr. Hawk your analogy with Joe Rogan was wayyyy offf. .. also the way you called him a liar was a little bit too extreme

May 29th

Chintalapati Vatsal


Jul 5th

Chintalapati Vatsal

love, how you have a minutes of the meetings ki da section!

Jul 5th
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