The Mel Robbins Podcast

In this episode, you’re learning how to speak up for yourself and make sure that you are heard. Whether you want to be more influential and visible at work or there’s a hard conversation that you’ve been avoiding with a family member, this episode will empower you to have a breakthrough. Most of us have never been taught the skills we need to have challenging conversations or to better advocate for our needs. The good news is that these are skills, and you are going to learn them in a very entertaining and relatable format today. You’re invited to listen in on multiple coaching sessions with listeners just like you and me who are struggling to find the words or the courage to say what needs to be said. So today I’m unpacking my formula, step by step, for handling challenging conversations. This is an excellent episode to send to people in your life who you really wish saw their own value and worth and could communicate it better. I can’t wait to hear how these very clear steps have helped you have those conversations you’ve been putting off and to show up differently at work and school. Xo Mel  Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Listen to Claudia’s question about how to set boundaries in friendships.5:30: Here are 3 reasons why we avoid difficult conversations in the first place.14:40: Do you have a friend who criticizes you? Listen to this.17:30: Make sure you are ready with THIS before you start your conversation.19:45: This is a prime example of a time when I was being a crappy friend.23:30: Here’s what you should assume before you have a conversation.25:30: Never do this or you’ll put the other person on the defensive.26:45: If you can, PLEASE have your conversation this way.30:40: Here’s my favorite visual when it’s my turn to listen.33:40: Do you have to communicate with an ex? Listen to Erica.35:50: You’ve got to learn how to “gray rock” when dealing with difficult people.36:40: See the petty people in this ridiculous way and it will help!39:30: Like it or not, you have to have this conversation for your kids’ sake.40:30: Here is what anger and pettiness actually is.41:15: One of two things will happen when you handle conversations like this.43:30: How do you handle combative people in your life? Listen to Candace.46:00: Here’s what a person with anxious attachment needs to hear from you.49:00: Need to have a conversation with someone who’s triggered easily? Is it time to let go of your relationship? If so, then listen to “How to Let Go.” Learn about “The 4 Attachment Styles for Healthy Relationships.” Disclaimer

I made you an appointment with one of the world’s leading doctors in functional medicine.Dr. Mark Hyman has written an incredible 14 (!!!) New York Times best sellers. He is the founder and director of The UltraWellness Center, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine.His latest book, Young Forever, teaches you science-backed, actionable steps to slow down the aging process and even reverse disease.An appointment like this would cost $$$ in person, but today, it’s free for you.Seriously, you will be floored by what you hear.No matter how old you are, you have more control over your health than you may think, and it’s never too early or too late to start making simple yet profound changes.Having trouble sleeping? We've got you.Brain fog and headaches messing up your day? Check.Low energy? We hear you.Anxiety and ADHD running your life? We’re covering that too.In this episode, we are breaking everything down point by point so that you get the specific, actionable steps you need to start changing your life in real time.Grab a notebook because the doctor is in and he will see you now.Get ready to take charge of your health like never before.Xo MelCheck out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast. In this episode, you’ll learn: 9:30: Food is not just food; here’s what it becomes once you eat it.12:30: So what’s the connection between gut health and overall health?14:45: What exactly is inflammation and what’s causing it?16:30: Okay, so then what does a healthy gut look like?19:30: Put these foods on your plate for 10 days and see what happens.23:30: The big fat lie we’re being fed every day.25:30: Can changing my gut heal my anxiety?27:15: This simple tool will improve digestion and calm your nerves.28:30: Phenomenal story of ADHD that was healed in two months.31:30: The difference between two main types of allergies.34:00: Holy sh*t! What Dr. Hyman said that reminded me of Oakley.37:45: The 5 major things in your life that cause inflammation.40:00: Simple tips to help you start sleeping better.42:40: If we could cure this, we’d extend our lives by more than 7 years.44:45: These are the supplements you and I should be taking.48:15: Here’s what causes your body to dump too much magnesium.50:50: Trouble with your hormones? You need to hear this.55:00: Do this if you want a clear picture of your health.59:45: What probiotics help reset your gut? Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here.Start your day off with focus using “A Toolkit for the Perfect Morning Routine.”Here are more “Simple Ways to Improve Your Brain Health.” Disclaimer

In this episode, you and I are tackling overwhelm together as I coach five listeners just like you who are tired of feeling so stressed. I promise this will be helpful, fun, and full of powerful tools you can put to use immediately. You need that because you’re drowning in your to-do lists, taking care of everyone else but yourself, and you’re saying yes to every commitment that enters your inbox.  That’s why simple solutions are the answer. And I need these solutions too. I feel like my to-do list is overflowing and the demands are piling up. But that’s okay, because with The Mel Robbins Podcast, you get to show up exactly as you are. And today, we will start breaking down the two types of overwhelm so you can understand exactly what it is you’re dealing with.  But we don’t stop there. You’re also getting three simple but profound strategies to help you eliminate the overwhelm from your life. So that you start feeling energized again.  And I so want that for you.  Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast.In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: If you’re a parent or caregiver, you’ll recognize yourself in Laura’s question.8:00: Knowing the two types of overwhelm has profoundly impacted my life.9:00: What my talk show mentor taught me that I’ll never forget.11:45: When it comes to dealing with legitimate overwhelm, start here.14:45: Can you have a morning routine when your life is overwhelmed?17:00: When life seems insanely busy, you have to stop telling yourself this lie.18:00: Here’s my #1 strategy for dealing with overwhelm.23:30: Are you someone who says yes to everything? Then this is for you.28:40: The Rule of Three saves me every time.32:35: This truth about procrastination will make you see it in a whole new way.38:15: Procrastinating on paying your bills? You need to listen to Michelle. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here.Don’t know how to say no? Listen to “Start Putting Yourself First.”And I know you will like “The Only Way to Stop Procrastinating.” Disclaimer

In this episode, we are digging into betrayal and learning how to get your power back after someone shatters your trust. It’s happened to me and I know it’s happened to you, too. Maybe someone cheated on you. Maybe someone stole from you in business. Perhaps it was a friend who stabbed you in the back.   It’s painful.   You might not be sure how to confront that person, or if it’s even worth it.  Or if you did confront them, they may have denied and deflected, making you feel like something was wrong with you. Well today I’m using my own experiences with betrayal to coach Sonia and Jenn - and you - through this.  You always have options, and whether you believe it or not, you can get your power back. Today’s episode will help you heal, change your perspective, and equip you with the tools you need to land on your feet and be smarter, more open and able to create healthier relationships, partnerships, and friendships in the future. You deserve that. Buckle up, because your friend Mel is hitting you between the eyes with some hard earned wisdom and tough love today.   Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast.In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: I was betrayed by someone in my business and this is what I learned.4:12: Sonia asks her question about a painful betrayal.5:15: Should you confront this person? Ask yourself this first.11:40: You don’t need to have this in order to feel closure with someone.14:20: Here’s how to have a conversation with someone who betrayed you.16:00: Jenn reveals how her painful betrayal has changed her.17:30: This is the hardest part of betrayal to grasp. Please play on repeat.19:20: Here is what you’re actually grieving after you’ve been betrayed.26:45: You need to change your story of betrayal. Here’s how.28:30: Trying to work through betrayal with someone you love? Listen to this.34:40: Here is what the experts say about affairs. 39:45: The advice from Jenn that you need to hear if you’ve just been betrayed. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here.Here is Betrayal 101: “3 Lessons From One of the Hardest Years of My Life.”When it’s time to do this, listen to “How to Let Go.” Disclaimer

In this episode, you and I are getting intentional about your happiness.Happiness is misunderstood.Fortunately, there’s a ton of research that explains why it can be so elusive and, even better, HOW you can create a happier life, starting today.Our conversation about happiness begins with breaking down the two types of happiness and why it’s important for you to include both in your life.You’ll also learn four practical takeaways that research says are key for cultivating more happiness in your daily life.I love this episode, and I can’t wait for you to experience it! I am bringing the science and the strategies, and I have a phenomenal metaphor to share with you that will forever change the way you view happiness.You’re not only going to learn what to do; you’re going to experience several listeners just like you who are seeking more happiness and fulfillment in their lives.This is a highly relatable, entertaining, and transformative episode, so don’t miss out.You’ll be happy you joined us.Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast.And if you want to start owning your mornings, join my free Wake Up Challenge. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Can’t remember the last time you were truly happy? You’re not alone.5:00: Does this happen to you when you chase happiness?8:00: What do we mean by happiness, anyway?8:30: You knew this was coming- my favorite metaphor for happiness!10:15: Science puts happiness into these two buckets.14:00: The problem when you’re on a big healing journey and what to do about it.23:00: Can you feel happy even during the mundane, ordinary days?24:15: Believe it or not, here’s where you find true happiness.26:30: This is the single best decision you can make to cultivate happiness.30:00: This is how your brain reads loneliness because you’re meant to connect.35:00: Building warm relationships starts here.37:30: Here’s how I reorganized my own life to stop feeling lonely.39:50: My mom is a pro at this and research shows it will boost your energy.44:30: What do you need to know about feeling inner peace?46:30: Here’s why older people tend to be happier.48:30: Three surprising ways to actually invite more peace in your life. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. This episode pairs well with “You’ll Never Be Truly Happy Until You Start Doing This” Learn how to train your mind with “The Mindset Reset Toolkit.”. Disclaimer 

Today’s episode is a trip. I can’t wait to introduce you to my favorite metaphor - a road trip - to inspire you to have more fun and enjoy the ride on this thing called life. After all, life is a journey. And no one’s path is exactly the same.  So today, I’m asking you to think about this road trip called life.  And I’m going to be asking you to consider some thought-provoking questions: Are you the driver or the passenger of your life? Are you even on the right road?  Do you need to pick a new direction?  Are you heading where you want to go, but speeding so fast you can’t enjoy the ride? Is it time to update the road trip playlist (in your head)? And most importantly, what lies on the road ahead?  Whether you’ve just graduated, you’re an empty nester, or you’re somewhere in between, this episode is the perfect gift to send to absolutely everyone in your life. Change is scary, but it doesn’t have to be. I’m here to help you navigate the road ahead.  This episode will empower you to take the wheel in your life. Because you, my friend, have choices.  And there’s a million ways to get to where you want to go. The best days of your life are ahead. I believe that, and after you embrace the opportunity of this road trip called life, you’ll believe it too!  Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast.And if you want to start owning your mornings, join my free Wake Up Challenge. In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:00: You’re often asking me about my career history, well here it is!3:00: What does reinvention mean anyway?6:00: The #1 piece of advice to remember before you reinvent your life.8:45: 90% of the questions coming into my inbox are about this.9:40: This is my favorite metaphor when it comes to demystifying life’s journey.12:45: When you are stuck or you’re going through hell, do this first.14:15: What happens when life doesn't go the way you expected it to?17:30: When sh*t happens in your life, please don’t do this.18:30: Embrace these two truths about life, you’ll tap into your power.20:30: Do this activity to start loving the most important person in your life.22:00: What do you do when your life feels “blah” and uninspiring?26:45: Don’t miss these science-backed steps to create more excitement!31:45: I texted this study from Laura Vanderkam to all my parent friends.35:30: Your relationship to time is always going to be about this.36:15: This study with university students doesn’t make sense logically.40:00: Denise was thinking about this for 20 YEARS; listen to what happened. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Want more help with your dreams? Listen to “Your Dreams Are Not a Joke” and “Goal-Setting Toolkit.” Disclaimer

In this episode, you are getting a brand new definition of confidence.This definition is based on research studies on how confidence is built.Confidence is not what you think it is.It is not a personality trait you’re born with, and it’s not reserved only for extroverts.Confidence is a skill that anyone can master.And today is the perfect day for you to start.You and I are breaking down the science together, and you’re invited to join in as I coach several listeners who are struggling with self-doubt.By the time this episode is done, you will not only have a brand new definition of confidence, but you will also know how to put that definition to use to start building unstoppable confidence in your own life.Confidence is your birthright. You can’t lose it; you just lost your connection to it.Let’s get that back.If you are willing to get up every day and put one foot in front of the other, you, my friend, will not only be practicing and building confidence, but over time you’ll start feeling more confident too.Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast.In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:00: The question Heather asked about confidence that so many of you have.3:50: Honestly, here’s what happens when you have more confidence.6:00: This is a “doing podcast," so here’s your first assignment.8:30: This is what you and I were getting wrong about confidence. Until now.8:45: Your new definition of confidence that embodies the research.13:45: Here is one of the simplest and yet profound reasons for my success.14:40: Did you happen to catch my 21-minute panic attack on TEDx?16:50: Neuroscience says it gets easier to feel confident when you do this.21:40: Feeling like an imposter? Great! Here’s why.23:30: Alex’s question led us to talk about Myth #1 about confidence.24:20: Here’s a surprising fact about confidence.25:55: Myth #2 about confidence needs to be laid to rest.27:00: Telling yourself that you lost your confidence? Then listen to Myth #3.28:10: I’ve loved this TED Talk for years. 29:00: Use tool #1 to interrupt your self-doubt and do what you’re afraid of..31:25: Confidence does not come before action; THIS does.31:00: There are two types of people when it comes to action. Which are you?33:30: Rule #2 is fun; research says it’s the fastest way to create new habits.35:45: Rule #3 is absolutely essential if you want to build confidence.38:00: Rule #4 is what I tell myself every time I’m about to do something scary.40:50: I don’t want to come to the end of my life feeling this.42:45: If you’re willing to feel this way, you’re guaranteed to keep growing.44:15: Do you like this person you’re spending your life with?46:00: Be careful who you give your number one commodity away to.49:30: Ultimately, here’s why you’re not feeling confident. Now change that.51:00: This is the hard truth about life that you need to hear. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge to wake up your confidence. Disclaimer

This is an episode about how to face the things that you’re scared to admit, or as in the case of my guest today, have never publicly spoken about.Today, you and I are going on a healing journey so that you can put the past where it belongs: in the rearview mirror.You deserve healing.It’s the only pathway for experiencing true peace, happiness, and the greatness you’re capable of.So, I’m introducing you to a friend of mine who had some serious sh*t to face and has spent the last several years addressing the things that used to drag him down.Do not miss this deeply personal conversation.It is profound. It is relevant to your life and packed with so much wisdom. And we jump right in. There are so many mic-drop moments, it would be hard for me to pick just one, because my guest today was so unguarded and generous.You may know him, but you’ve never heard him like this before.I’m talking about Lewis Howes, host of the award-winning podcast, The School of Greatness, which just celebrated its 10-year anniversary and has over 500 million downloads.His brand new book, The Greatness Mindset, teaches you how to discover your own unique gifts and talents, but more importantly, how to do the work to heal.And look, this conversation is “unguarded” and covers sensitive topics (particularly perhaps for the men in your life). So if this isn’t for you right now – please skip this episode.I cannot wait to hear your favorite and most meaningful parts of this unforgettable conversation with Lewis.Xo MelIn this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: After all the work he’s done, how does Lewis define greatness?4:50: If you’re drowning emotionally, here’s what to do.6:00: One of the most profound ways to start accepting yourself.8:00: If you were bullied or didn’t do well in school, you’ll relate to this.13:00: Almost all of us have an identity crisis at some point in our lives.14:43: Here’s what happens when success never feels fulfilling.15:40: What does it feel like to be “at peace”?19:30: Listen to Lewis describe the surprising places he felt his past trauma.21:00: Here’s how Lewis came to terms with being dyslexic.23:40: If you haven’t healed trauma, here’s how it can come out in your day to day life.28:20: Lewis describes the first time he shared his trauma out loud.37:00: No matter what you do, you don’t feel like you’re enough. Here’s what to do.37:35: Here’s what’s incredible about seeing your own value.40:30: Lewis started a podcast when podcasts were not really a thing. This is how it began.42:30: The wake up moment that led to The School of Greatness.45:15: Do this when you want to change your career or start a business.46:30: I love this way of thinking about winning.48:30: Out of hundreds, this is the interview guest that had the most impact.50:30: Lewis only found real love after doing this first.53:00: What does it mean to no longer abandon yourself?54:00: Most men struggle with this because they were never taught how.56:30: The powerful words Lewis said at the start of his current relationship.58:00: The moment in Lewis’ therapy that changed everything.60:00: The surprising place where Lewis found men who felt emotionally free. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here.Disclaimer

In this episode, you are going to learn how to put yourself first. Which means you and I are having a conversation about people-pleasing. You know you do it. I do it, too.  In fact, unless you're a narcissistic jerk (and you’re not if you’re listening to these podcast episodes), we are all people-pleasers to some extent. Being a people-pleaser is a coping mechanism and it is destroying your energy, your time, your dreams, and your sanity. Every time you say yes to something you don’t really want to do, you’re saying no to yourself. Today, we’re changing that in a surprising way. First, you’ll become aware of when and why you do it. Second, you’ll learn the science-backed tools you need to break the habit of always putting other people’s needs before your own. Third, you and I are going to have a talk about guilt, because when you start saying no, one thing I can guarantee is that you’ll feel guilty about it. I used to, too. I don’t anymore. And I’ll explain how you can handle the guilt and still put yourself first. One of the critical steps to creating a life you love is learning how to say yes to what matters to you and no to what doesn’t. This is a big topic; there are a lot of surprising layers. So I can’t wait for you to apply these relatable and easy strategies to your life and to hear about your breakthroughs.  Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:50: What the heck IS people-pleasing anyway? (4 takeaways you may have not heard)5:12: I bet you can relate to Janet who learned this message as a kid.6:00: Let’s just get the bad news about guilt out of the way.7:15: Because here is some good news about guilt!9:00: What does a pool table have to do with people-pleasing?14:50: I still cringe when I think of this phone call with my father.18:45: Here’s how a pool table can double as a desk 😂22:10: What happens when your friends don’t like the “new you”?24:45: At the heart of people-pleasing is this.26:00: This research explains why we avoid discomfort. 27:16: Think people-pleasing is about others? Think again.28:00: The surprising advice for how to handle disappointment from others.31:50: What if your lifestyle is now different from your friends?34:30: Here’s where to find friends who get you.35:10: Please stop looking here for validation as you change your life.37:50: Are you sure you know when you’re being authentic?40:00: Do this to start figuring out who you really are.42:00: Do this next time you’re asked to do something you don’t want to do.47:00: Here’s how my friend Amy reacted when I had to bail on her at dinner in Vegas.48:50: This is what happens every time you start to say no. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge. Disclaimer

In this episode, I’m on a mission to open your eyes to new possibilities. What do you really want from your life? And how can you reimagine your next career move to help you fulfill it? If you’re feeling stuck in a job you hate, were just laid off or fired, just graduated, or you have no idea what you want to do with your life, this episode is my gift to you. I wanted to do something to help you gain the clarity and courage that you need to make a big change when you’re feeling uncertain. So I’ve arranged for you to meet with one of the best experts on the planet for a zero cost masterclass and coaching session on getting clear on your next career move, Amy Porterfield. Her new book, Two Weeks Notice, is the playbook for how you build a successful side hustle or business with zero prior experience. Amy’s taught more than 50,000 people just like you how to go from dreading their job to designing the life and work they’ve dreamed about. Today Amy is coaching you, and when you’re done listening to our conversation, you’ll not only be inspired, but you’ll also have the tactical next steps to take. And, if you’ve ever quietly dreamt of having your own business, my mission today is to pour gasoline on that fire. After you listen, you’ll think differently about what you’re capable of, and you’ll get a taste of what COULD be. I always say you are one decision away from the rest of your life. If you’re ready to design a life you love waking up to, we’re about to teach you how. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:13: What you’ll learn today and why you don’t want to miss this episode.4:00: Laid off or in a job you hate? Here’s what you need to know right now8:00: Amy’s wake up call moment – and what you can learn from it.11:30: Have you ever felt there was something else you were supposed to do? 13:15: Jealousy is a good thing when it does this for you.22:30: Don’t know what to do next? Start with the Sweet Spot Formula.26:15: Adopt this mentality and you’ll start leveling up in all areas of your life.31:30:  If you want to be your own boss, start doing this.32:00: My #1 pro tip to get a free education. 34:00: Ok, but what do you do if you don’t have a lot of money?35:30: Here’s what happens to you once you take action.38:30: Think you’re too old to be your own boss? Listen to this story.44:50: My top two tips when it comes to feeling more confident.47:00: Afraid of others judging you? Here’s how you handle that.50:15: The power of your “starter idea” Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge to start beating procrastination from the second your alarm goes off.Disclaimer

In this episode, we’re attacking procrastination head on – using science. Just think about how many hours, or heck YEARS, you have wasted thinking about what you needed to do instead of doing it.That ends today. This episode is packed with a simple, research-backed method to understanding why you procrastinate (it’s not what you think) and what researchers claim is the best way of tackling it.I predict this episode will be one of the most shared this year because procrastination kills more dreams than fear ever does.  Take a listen to this episode, and I will give you something priceless in return: more time. Imagine having hours to move closer to your dreams, hours to spend with your family, hours to move your body or read that novel, or hell, hours to do whatever the hell you want because you deserve it. In this episode, we cover everything from micro-procrastinating to avoiding the really important stuff. And as always, I am armed with research and simple takeaways that work. Specifically, you’ll learn 4 critical takeaways to apply to your life immediately, along with a science-backed 3-step technique to break free from your procrastination habit. Whether you are the captain of procrastination like I used to be, or you are just tired of wasting so much time scrolling on your phone, this toolkit is my zero-cost gift to you.  Nothing is more important than taking control of your time, so hit play and I’ll lead the way to ending that vicious cycle you feel stuck in. Don’t procrastinate on listening to this episode.  You deserve to understand why you're resisting parts of your life so that starting today, you can level up and get more out of it. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:05: Takeaway #1: Please stop labeling yourself as this.4:00: Takeaway #2: Two kinds of procrastination; which one are you doing?6:00: If you can’t do what you need to get done… you’re normal.8:45: Believe it or not, this is the #1 task most of us procrastinate on.10:15: Takeaway #3: You are not stuck being a procrastinator.12:10: Takeaway #4: This is actually what’s behind your procrastination.13:00: Procrastination defined in a way you’ve never heard before.19:00: Comfortable doesn’t mean you LIKE where you are.24:55: Do this when you catch yourself procrastinating.25:40: What the world’s leading expert found through his research on procrastination.29:35: The best question to ask yourself next time you catch yourself procrastinating.33:00: The #1 science-backed hack to break your procrastination habit.35:00: Your problem is not that you can’t; it’s that you’ve been trapped.37:50: You have to do THIS before you start believing in yourself. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge to start beating procrastination from the second your alarm goes off. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re invited to sit in on a really personal and raw conversation with our 17-year-old son, Oakley. Whether you experience anxiety yourself or you’re just worried about someone you love who does, this episode is a powerful gift from my family to you. What Oakley shares based on his personal experience is life-changing. You will hear Oakley describe two periods of anxiety and some pretty scary and overwhelming thoughts that rose up freshman and sophomore years of high school. I am sharing this with you because Oakley is not alone in what he experienced. According to the CDC’s most recent data, anxiety in teens and adults continues to rise, with nearly half surveyed reporting persistent feelings of hopelessness.  Whether you’re an adult or a teen, depression and anxiety are two of those mental health conditions that leave you feeling isolated from everyone because it can seem like you’re the only one having these kinds of overwhelming thoughts. Today, in real-time, Oakley shines a light on what he experienced and how he worked through it. And don’t worry, this isn’t a downer. In typical Oakley fashion, he has me laughing as much as I was sighing. Two really important things come out of this conversation: #1: You get an inside view of what anxiety can look and feel like, and #2, you get to learn about the healing process Oakley engaged in with family, a therapist, his doctor, and medication to work his way through it and back to a clear, confident, and happy state of mind. I want to be clear. Oakley has chosen to share his own personal experience. With his therapist’s help, Oak feels more connected and empowered to ride the ups and downs of life and create deeper meaning in his life. And that’s what we want for you. So many of you write in to thank us for sharing these conversations with my adult kids because they help you open up conversations. Well, today’s conversation is meant to serve the same purpose. You may want to listen to this with people you love.  And please, share this. Share it with teachers, coaches, nieces, nephews, and parents who you know could use these insights. Too many of us try to deal with anxiety on our own. Let Oakley inspire you and the people you love to open up. You are not weird or messed up if you have fleeting dark thoughts, but if those thoughts persist, please reach out to a therapist, family, or friends. You don’t have to go through this alone. And if this topic is not for you right now, bookmark this episode and come back to it at another time. But it is a deeply powerful one you won’t want to miss. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:20: Is your loved one resistant to therapy? Here’s what to do.4:15: My son schooled me on therapy and why I should have done it for myself sooner.6:30: I had no idea he was feeling this way.8:40: Oakley describes his panic attack and dark thoughts.14:00: Here’s why Oakley didn’t share his feelings with us.19:30: This is what everyone has to know about big, scary thoughts.23:15: Here’s what Oakley suggests for those struggling.28:00: Oakley’s existential crisis that led to his breakdown.32:30: My panic attacks and anxiety felt like this.33:30: Here’s what we did to support Oakley.34:40: The John Mayer song that had a powerful impact on Oakley.46:45: Here’s where Oakley is now that he’s been working with his therapist.53:00: Two profound quotes that really resonate. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources.Disclaimer

In this episode, we’re discussing morning routines.This episode is very tactical and covers 5 simple but essential components of a perfect morning routine.I’m really glad that you’re taking this topic seriously because every successful person you admire is serious about their mornings.I sure am.How you set up your day is typically how it ends up.I love my morning routine so much that I call it the Million Dollar Morning, because it makes me feel like a million bucks for the rest of my day – and it creates a level of discipline in my life that helps me make millions of dollars too.But let me be clear: I am not naturally a morning person.And if that’s been your excuse, my mission is to change your mind.If you already have a morning routine, listen to this episode to take it up a notch.Xo Mel  Sign up today for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge so you can start your own Million Dollar Morning routine tomorrow.  Once you finish listening,  be sure to check out the episode “The #1 Hack for Being More Productive Tomorrow” to learn why your morning routine begins the night before. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:45: What is behavioral activation and how can it help you?4:50: How the first decision of your day is like the lead domino in a run.7:30: Feeling bad about your morning routine? Don’t. Here’s mine.8:20: Let’s talk about procrastination in the morning.12:10: I can relate if the heaviness of the morning overwhelms you.14:30: Morning routines are boring.16:30: Rule #1 of your brand new rockstar morning routine.17:10: Using The 5 Second Rule in your morning routine.21:05: The biggest and best question to ask yourself about getting up.23:00: Snooze Button Blues: the science behind why you shouldn’t snooze.26:20: The pep talk you need: what your alarm really means.27:00: Rule #2 will train you to start cleaning up life’s messes right off the bat.29:45: Rule #3 is my favorite simple habit that reminds me I’m a winner.34:00: Are you making this mistake in the bedroom?36:10: Rule #4 requires only 10 minutes to make a difference to your health.37:00: Do this in the morning and you’ll sleep better at night.38:00: Rule #5 The science-backed secret to making progress every day. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources to help you go deeper.  Disclaimer

Today’s episode is a masterclass on finding your purpose, listening to your gut, and never giving up (no matter what other people say). So many of you write in asking for advice about purpose that I’ve decided to introduce you to a guest whose life story is the epitome of purpose. You’re about to meet a woman who went from serving up stacks of pancakes at Denny’s to creating a billion-dollar product that would help millions of women around the world feel confident in their own skin.  It was such a success that L'Oréal recently bought her company for $1.2 billion dollars. I’m talking about none other than Jamie Kern Lima, the founder of It Cosmetics. And if you think that her purpose in life was to create a cosmetics company, you’d be wrong. The topic of purpose is essential and misunderstood, so today I’ll teach you how to truly find your purpose using Jamie’s inspiring story and tactical tools every step of the way. In fact, her takeaways are so good that I refer to her as the “Professor of Purpose,” because by the end of this episode, you’ll be closer to finding yours. Learn how today. Class is in session with one of the most successful self-made women today. Xo Mel  For episodes notes and resources, go to melrobbins.com/podcast In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:10: Feel like there’s something bigger you’re supposed to do? Jamie did too.5:30: Like it or not, here’s why your current job is important to your future you. 6:29: Your setbacks are more valuable than you think.8:30: Jamie nails what “purpose” actually is and why most of us think of it in the wrong way.12:00: Big takeaway: your steps are ordered exactly as they should be.15:40: Why Jamie’s 1.2 billion dollar idea almost didn’t happen and the ‘AHA’ moment that changed everything.18:45: That modern-day beauty movement we love? It was done FIRST by Jamie.20:20: If you’re feeling stuck, here are the words you need to hear TODAY.22:00 How do you go from AHA to actually getting started?28:00: How to face your #1 critic (yourself) and start trusting your gut.33:10: A profound reframe on the hardships you have experienced.34:00: Jamie’s story of one of the most painful rejections she ever experienced and the life-changing lesson she learned about intuition.47:50: The expert advice Jamie defied to instead go with her gut.53:15: Listen to Jamie’s advice if you have been rejected over and over.56:30: Here’s the perfect way to frame your true power.58:20: Stop thinking about purpose in this way. Here’s the truth about finding your purpose.1:01:15: 2 exercises to help have your own ‘AHA’ moment.1:04:00: Why going after your dreams is YOUR responsibility. Take my free 5-day challenge – The Wake Up Challenge – to walk you through getting started with these tools: www.melrobbins.com/wakeup. Disclaimer

In this episode, we are talking about the #1 thing you can do to make sure tomorrow is a productive and awesome day. I’m sure you know the importance of a good morning routine. But what you may not know is that a rock-solid morning routine – the kind that kickstarts you and your day for maximum focus and to feel more in control, calm, and like the rockstar that you are…  It doesn’t start where you think.  If you truly want to own your day, you must first own the night before. That’s right.  Hours before you even lay your head on your pillow, your decisions have either set you up for success or they have set you up to fail. Your brain is primed to be the most productive during the first 2-4 hours of the day. That’s why I want you to get serious about how you set yourself up the night before. This episode is packed with research-backed tactics, specific advice, and the four science-backed components of the best evening routine. And this is also one of those tough-love, hit you with the common-sense, friend-to-friend conversations that you know and love from me. Xo Mel  Take my free 5-day challenge – The Wake Up Challenge – to walk you through getting started with these tools: www.melrobbins.com/wakeup. In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:30: Here’s where your morning routine should REALLY begin.2:30: Are you losing your next day by revenge procrastinating?5:00: Here’s what my evenings used to look like. Can you relate?10:00: Not getting out of bed with the first alarm? Here’s what you’re telling yourself every time you hit the snooze.13:40: The way your morning starts is the lead domino for your day.17:00: The secret to having a great morning is this.19:30: Rule #1: The 3-2-1 Method that will help you get a great night’s sleep.21:30: Rule #2: The Mindset Flip. This is how you make your life easier.22:15: I do this at night so I get to the gym in the morning.25:45: Rule #3: Feel way more empowered about your day if you do this.28:15: No more excuses. Do this tonight.30:00: Rule #4: This is where most of us get our mornings wrong.33:30: Flip how you think about the alarm and you’ll shift your whole day.36:40: I feel so strongly about this last hack because you allow the world to steal your attention and you deserve better.39:15: I got a little worked up here, but it’s because I have regrets. For episodes notes and resources, go to melrobbins.com/podcast Disclaimer This podcast is not meant to be a substitute for therapy and is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is my passion, however, to bring you free and accessible content that can help you change your life for the better.

In this episode, you and I are getting a masterclass on the topic of love. And it’s not what you think.  This is not an episode about relationships – it is an episode about YOUR relationship to love and how you can let more love into your life.  My mission with this episode is to inspire you to stop and consider the profound subject of love, how important it is, and why you deserve to feel more love in your daily life. If you have felt alone or feel like your relationships are on autopilot, this episode is a real gift. I am also excited because as you listen to this episode, I get to introduce you to someone I really love.  He and his wife are very dear friends of ours and he just finished a two-year-long research project on the topic of love.  This friend of mine is also a former monk with a tender heart and a global fanbase.  His sage counsel on life is sought after by celebrities, world leaders, professional athletes, and the most successful artists in the world. I’m talking about none other than my friend, Jay Shetty. He’s the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Like a Monk, and his latest book is 8 Rules of Love. Climb into your favorite chair and get ready for a wild ride.  I threw out the talking points from Jay’s PR team and just went for it. I love this episode because Jay delivered.  He gets personal and reveals more about his own experience and mistakes with love than ever before. This is a must listen and a must share. Listen as a family. Listen with friends. Listen as a couple. Listen by yourself. Love is what we need. And hearing two dear friends go deep on the topic will make your heart swell. Even an old dog like me learned a few new tricks about how I can experience more love and be more loving in my life ❤️ Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:40: Hear Jay’s 3-part definition of love I’d never heard that is so spot on.4:30: According to research, this is how many hours you need to spend to make a casual friend, a good friend, and a great friend.6:40: Are you doing this with your partner? Jay says that’s not love.8:00: Okay wow, here’s where I realize I’m not doing something for my husband, Chris, that I should be doing.11:15: If your relationship is new, be careful you don’t do this.13:40: Why do we chase relationships in order to feel worthy?18:15: Rule #1 for finding love.19:50: What research shows will happen if you enter a relationship simply because you’re afraid of being alone.21:00: Hear Jay in a rare moment where he talks about his childhood trauma.27:00: Here’s why you keep dating the same kind of person over and over.29:00 One simple exercise you can do today to start building a healthy relationship.31:30: Jay leads us through a powerful meditation.38:15: There are four phases of love: hear them unpacked and explained.40:00:  Dating someone new? Then you need to know about both the “halo effect” and the “context effect.”43:30: Jay’s best piece of advice if you want that new relationship to last.47:00: Here’s Jay’s Rule #4 of love and why it’s my favorite.53:30: Is someone caring for you or controlling you? Here’s how to tell.55:00: What you might be doing in your relationship that’s hurting it.57:30: Here’s what I disagreed with Jay about.59:30: What is the purpose of love in your life? Jay answers. Want to go deeper into the topic of relationships? Listen to the last episode, “I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work.”  Disclaimer

In this episode, I’m getting brutally honest with you about relationships.  Our conversation begins with a question from a listener who asked me for advice on how to make your relationship go the distance in this messy modern world. I’ve always shied away from giving relationship advice, mainly because after 26 years of marriage, I know the only secret is this: it takes a lot of consistent work. I also don’t consider myself an “expert” on the topic because our relationship seems to always need attention. It’s so easy to silently retreat to your corners and not address the issues. And there were years where we did just that. In fact, over the past few years, Chris and I have been working through some really heavy issues with a couples therapist. Today I share very personal revelations I’ve had about my own role in causing problems between us. After all we’ve been through, I’m really proud of my husband, Chris, and me for making it this long and doing the work to make it better. In the process of working hard to improve our relationship, I learned six powerful lessons that I felt compelled to share with you. Not because I hold the magic wand, but because I hope these lessons will save you the pain and heartaches I’ve caused myself and my husband. No matter what kind of relationship you might be in, working on, struggling with, or hoping to save, these six lessons will provide a roadmap to make it better. Whether you are married, dating, divorced, happily single, or experiencing a falling out with a friend, this episode will have something for you. About halfway through, another listener asks, “What do I do if my partner doesn’t want to do the work?” In that case, there’s just one rule for when it’s time for you to move on. Oh, one more thing, if you and your partner are having a hard time… Share this episode with them. It’s a simple way to open the door for a much-needed conversation. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:30: The one question you often ask that I put off answering for a long time.3:30: Here’s the hard truth you should know about my marriage.6:30: Here’s what I think about “staying in a marriage for the kids”8:30: The concerning relationship trend I see happening.15:00: Would I be better off without my husband?18:15: This is the only way relationships work out.24:30: What I was doing wrong in my own marriage.28:00: 6 pieces of advice for any relationship.37:30: Here’s why the way you react to your partner’s good news matters.43:00: What do you do when your partner isn’t growing with you?   Disclaimer

In this episode, you will learn how to deepen your healing by understanding how your parents may have created silent trauma that is still impacting you as an adult. I want to introduce you to a woman who has had a really big impact on my own healing.  She is the renowned psychologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Nicole LePera, who you may also know as The Holistic Psychologist. Today, Dr. LePera will normalize the common experience of having few memories from childhood. This is something that I struggled with silently. I personally have very few memories from my childhood, and I assumed there was something wrong with me. It was only when I started sharing about this lack of memories online that I realized I wasn’t the only person who can’t reminisce about their past. I now understand why this happens. I also know there is nothing wrong with me. And if you have very few memories from your childhood, there’s nothing wrong with you either. Today, we are digging into parenting styles and how your childhood experiences (whether you remember them or not) are still impacting the way you respond to stress as an adult. The research and tools in this conversation will help you understand not only why it’s so easy to get triggered, but also how to deepen your healing journey now that you do. This is one of those episodes that I also know you will be sending to family, friends, and siblings because there is so much empowering information here. I personally made all three of our kids listen because I both recognize as a daughter how my childhood impacted me – and as a mom, I’m also very aware that my parenting style has impacted my kids. And, Dr. LePera so beautifully teaches us how to take control of the rest of our lives as adults. Xo Mel  PS: After you listen to this one, listen to “Take Control of Your Life: A Toolkit for Healing” if you haven’t yet, because I’m sharing details from the last few years of my healing journey. Plus, there’s a companion workbook to help you go deeper. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: So many of you wrote in about this particular detail of trauma.8:00: Childhood amnesia – What the heck is that?9:30: Here are 3 reasons why you don’t have many childhood memories.11:30: What do psychologists mean by “dysregulated nervous system?”15:00: Introducing my friend and world-renowned psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera.17:45: What’s an emotionally immature parent and how do you know if you had one?24:30: Two big reasons why your brain shuts down in childhood.28:00: Do you need to remember your past trauma to recognize it in yourself?35:00: What does it look like in real life when you start to heal your nervous system?37:30: Is trauma only for those who’ve lived through a big, horrific event?44:00: Here is why the silent treatment can be harmful. 48:00: Here’s your first tactical step toward healing your body and mind.53:15: Feeling cynical about your own healing process? You need to hear this. Disclaimer If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.

In this episode, I’m making the topic of trauma easier to understand by taking you step by step through my recent revelation that I was struggling with past trauma. I was one of those people who thought I didn’t have trauma. And you may be like that too. But if you have trouble managing emotions, expressing your feelings, dealing with upset, you go on edge easily, you have trouble focusing, or you struggle with anything like anxiety…. This will be very eye opening. The words “trauma” and “nervous system” are thrown around like candy online. I want to share the profound things that I’ve learned about both topics and how I’ve started to address and heal the trauma in my nervous system. This episode is personal, it’s important, and tactical, and most of all – it’s packed with tools you can start using right now. I hope this episode opens your eyes in the way that it did mine, and makes you not only understand this topic – but yourself a little bit better. And, to go deeper, I have a free 9-page workbook for you that serves as a companion to this episode to help you with your own healing. Just click here to access it.  And, this episode covers sensitive material, including discussion of trauma and sexual assault. If this topic isn’t for you right now – please skip this episode. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:58: This episode is one of the most important I’ve ever created because of the powerful impact these learnings have had on my life. It will be the same for you.7:40: What is trauma anyway?8:40: Do you recognize yourself in these signs of past trauma?10:00: Getting honest: my personal story.21:15: What happens to me when I hear the sound of crunchy snow (and how this applies to you).24:00: Do you have to remember trauma to heal from it?30:30: If I have little-T trauma, does that mean my parents are to blame?34:40: This is what your nervous system is (and it’s not what I used to think).43:15: Here’s why your triggers were helpful then and why they’re not now.50:00: How can you get yourself out of survival mode and start to focus again?54:00: The difference between your two nervous systems.56:30: Six takeaways to help you switch from fight or flight to rest and recovery Disclaimer If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to use simple neuroscience to train your mind to start working for you. The research, tools, and strategies you’ll learn in this episode are from an experience I created and taught to more than 250,000 students called “Mindset Reset.” The fact is, your mindset is critical to your happiness, success, relationships, and fulfillment. Listen to today’s episode and you’ll learn how to train your mind using this easy, science-backed method. By the end of this episode, you’ll know how to use an amazing filter in your brain to reset your mindset. This episode is also packed with takeaways and insights you can apply to your life and one surprisingly fun “brain game” you can play every day (even with your kids) to actively program a more powerful mindset. I can’t wait to share this with you and for you to apply it to your life and share it with the people who matter to you most. Xo Mel For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast. This episode, you’ll learn:4:15: What does “mindset” even mean?9:00: The truth about why mindset matters.10:00: Is this just toxic positivity?16:30: Your brain has a filter. And if you’re not programming it, it’s probably working against you.26:00: How to beat self-doubt.31:00: Why you’re not meeting that special someone.37:00: The fun and simple brain game I play with my daughters.47:45: What to do when your thoughts and mindset spiral into the negative.55:00: I want this for you.   Disclaimer