The Nocturnists

Hospitalist PJ Lally reflects on a time he got a second chance at life.  Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.com.

Emergency medicine and helicopter flight physician Mike Abernethy recounts an unexpected run-in at his local Walmart that made him feel as if he’d seen a ghost. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.com

OB/GYN Jackie Howitt and pediatrician Gretchen Volk bring us into the deserted airport where they first met in April 2020 on their way to offer COVID-19 relief in NYC. Though their friendship began at one of the most disorienting moments in their lives, the coincidences that followed made the connection feel almost fated. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.com.

On March 9th, join The Nocturnists for our newest season of "Stories from the World of Medicine," featuring original stories from frontline clinicians.

In today’s episode, Emily speaks with author Dolen Perkins-Valdez about her recent novel Take My Hand, based on the 1973 case of the Relf sisters who were forcibly sterilized at a federally-funded health clinic in Montgomery, Alabama.  Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.com.

In this live panel at the UCSF Memory and Aging Center, Emily sits down with playwright Jake Broder, actor Lucy Davenport, and neurologist Bruce Miller to discuss Broder’s play UnRavelled, which explores the fascinating relationship between dementia, art, and music. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.com.

In this episode, Emily speaks with psychiatrist-philosopher Iain McGilchrist about his seminal book The Master and His Emissary, which explores the relationship between our brain’s right and left hemispheres and how they structure our understanding of the world. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.com.

In this episode, Emily speaks with physician-painter Matthew Wetschler about pushing limits, the tension between presence and absence, and how he’s remained curious in the aftermath of crisis. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.com.

Emily speaks with physician and author, Dr. Gabor Maté about his latest book, The Myth of Normal, which explores the connections between our environment, psychological wounds, and medical disease. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.com.

In this episode, Emily speaks with physician, artist, and author, Shirlene Obuobi about fiction as escapism, and the stories behind her debut novel, On Rotation. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.com.

Hi Listeners! Today is Giving Tuesday, and we wanted to take this time to express our gratitude and let you know what’s coming up on The Nocturnists podcast. Thank you for supporting our work in transforming medical culture through storytelling.  To learn more, head to thenocturnists.com.

Over the last nine episodes, we’ve listened to dozens upon dozens of clinicians tell their stories about shame. What have we learned? What can we take away from all of this? And where do we go from here? Find show notes, discussion guide, transcript, and more at thenocturnists-shame.org.

According to medical culture, a clinician should “fix” illness, not have one – especially not a mental illness. But in reality, mental illness is incredibly common, and a huge source of shame, which may prevent us from seeking help. In this episode, we hear stories of sadness, “madness,” stigma, grief, and the potential for healing. If you or someone you love needs help, please see our list of “resources” in the episode show notes at thenocturnists-shame.org where you can find free, confidential support. And, as always, please take good care of yourself, whatever that may mean for you.

When healthcare workers put on their uniforms to go to work, what other roles, masks, or disguises do they put on as well? The norms and standards of our workplace culture are often more implicit than explicit, but many of us still go to great lengths to present a curated version of self at work that fits into this unspoken code of conduct. The right mask, we tell ourselves, will win the respect and trust of our colleagues and protect us from painful judgments and feelings of alienation. But what are the side effects of hiding parts of ourselves at work? And what about the parts of ourselves that remain exposed? Find show notes, discussion guide, transcript, and more at thenocturnists-shame.org.

1 in 10 physicians will get sued at some point in their career – but physicians rarely discuss this, much less prepare for it. How do we bring litigation, and all the stress and shame associated with it, out of the shadows? Find show notes, discussion guide, transcript, and more at thenocturnists-shame.org.

For most clinicians, the idea of harming a patient is a worst nightmare. But in a high-stakes profession, practiced by humans in a dysfunctional system, errors are nearly inevitable. So how do we deal with the shame that follows? Find show notes, discussion guide, transcript, and more at thenocturnists-shame.org.

In medical culture, shame is often wielded as a teaching tool. We shame learners for not knowing, for forgetting, for making mistakes. When does this serve us? When is it harmful? Is there a better way? Find show notes, discussion guide, transcript, and more at thenocturnists-shame.org.

On the path to medicine, we’re constantly taking tests: MCAT, shelf exams, step exams, boards, and more. What are these numbers good for? What are they not good for? What is the emotional impact of these tests, and their scores, on medical learners? Find show notes, discussion guide, transcript, and more at thenocturnists-shame.org.

We all arrive at the gateway to medicine carrying baggage from our past. We’ve had different hopes, hurts, and childhood arcs. How do these early life experiences guide us toward our careers? And once we “arrive,” how do they impact the way we experience shame in the workplace? Find show notes, discussion guide, transcript, and more at thenocturnists-shame.org.

Medical culture is filled with impossible ideals: the resident expected to work a 28-hour shift without complaint or error; the surgeon with the steel bladder; the doctor with perfect bedside manner; the student with all the answers. How should a doctor look, act, think, speak, dress, feel? What should they value? In this episode, we explore the concept of “The Ideal Doctor.” Where do these “ideals” come from? How are they communicated? And what do they have to do with shame? Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists-shame.org.