The Optimist

Veteran & former infantry officer Christian De La Torre gets real about delayed PTSD, rockets over Bagram, and the blueprint men need now: the “King’s Council.” We break down how to ask for help without feeling weak, why every man should learn self‑defense (and change a tire), building real brotherhood, and staying level in hard seasons.What you’ll learnPTSD that shows up years later—how triggers work and what to doThe King’s Council: a practical playbook for men’s friendship & accountabilityROTC vs. enlisted: respect, leadership, and earning trustWhy trained men fight less—and why confrontation can be healthyAARs (after‑action reviews) for life, not just the militarySunday as a barometer for your life & stress protocol that actually helpsChapters00:00 Cold open02:58 ROTC vs. enlisted, earning respect as a young officer06:03 Afghanistan, Bagram & what combat looked like in his era10:13 Movies vs. reality—how the battlefield changed16:13 “Closest call” — rockets, alarms and fear management18:27 PTSD didn’t hit right away: the delayed wave20:07 Triggers: motorcycles, helicopters, fireworks23:12 “Pain is pain” — don’t compare your trauma27:12 “It ain’t weak to speak” — how to start the convo31:12 Vulnerability invites vulnerability: the car & bar stories36:41 Creating safe space with men: trust > performance40:14 What to take to your partner vs. your guys44:40 King’s Council rules: cadence, honesty, accountability50:55 AARs for civilians: debriefs, sustains, improves54:52 Where to find brothers: jiu‑jitsu, run clubs, retreats, even gaming57:11 Veterans & civilians: step‑by‑step to build your squad1:02:20 What it means to be a man today (integrity, service, vulnerability)1:05:00 Why “change a tire” still matters (competence & calm)1:12:14 Self‑defense & fitness: be capable, not reckless1:18:41 Hard seasons: mindset, journaling, small wins1:21:15 Action is vitamin A — get vertical, get moving1:36:03 Do 4 hard things a year; compound the average1:37:35 Sunday as a life barometer; make it the best day1:44:18 What’s next for Christian (content road trip, The Trace Club)1:45:57 Where to find him & wrapResources mentionedMen’s groups/retreats (e.g., Everyman), jiu‑jitsu & martial arts, run clubsAfter‑Action Review (AAR) framework for life debriefs“It ain’t weak to speak” (mental health ethos)About the showTactical conversations at the intersection of men’s mental health, performance, and modern masculinity, grounded in actions you can use today.DisclaimerThis conversation includes adult language and mentions of war. It’s for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. If you’re struggling, talk to a qualified professional or someone you trust today.If this helped you:Like 👍 • Subscribe 🔔 • Comment: Who’s in your King’s Council—and what’s your next “hard thing”?

If your energy crashes after meals, your HRV is low, or you suspect low T, this episode is your blueprint.Max Marchione—Founder/CEO of Superpower—breaks down the health “foundations” that actually move the needle: lab testing, gut & metabolic health, endocrine disruptors, HRV, and micro‑habits you can stack into a busy life. We also get into risk, culture, and modern masculinity.What you’ll learnWhy testing beats guessing (labs, ApoB/Lp(a), vitamin D, prediabetes)How gut health and metabolism drive mood, energy, and stressHRV 101: what it is, why high performers often have high HRV, and how to raise itMicro‑habits that compound (elevator meditations, 5.5/5.5 breathing, “micro‑moments”)Testosterone & today’s environment: behavior, toxins, and practical fixesBuilding teams & culture where fun is a performance inputRisk math for founders: “price risk right” and move fasterChapters (approx.)00:00 Cold open07:05 Teenage Max: rule‑breaking, early ventures, health struggles09:43 DIY diagnostics: CGMs, gut tests, mercury, pushing doctors11:31 Stress & anxiety: fix sleep, gut, hormones first12:57 Small levers: breathing, supplements, “micro” stress management15:08 Why lab testing changes behavior16:26 Common 2025 patterns: vitamin D, ApoB/Lp(a), prediabetes18:04 Why Superpower now; consumer health turning point21:19 Focus > doing everything; killing v1 & dropping price23:46 Risk math: “I don’t take much risk—I price it better”25:57 Culture, failure, parenting & school conditioning28:39 Testosterone & modern behavior32:49 Endocrine disruptors, BPA, mold, air quality36:39 The Superpower protocol: from data to action37:51 Transformation story40:12 Social health & community43:26 Burnout: find the “why”44:08 HRV explained; why high performers often have high HRV47:16 Passive optimization: elevator meditations50:09 Micro‑moments that compound51:58 Building a healthy office; fun as a performance input54:17 Banking vs ideal culture57:07 What it means to be a man today59:45 2026 goal: do 5 years in 1

Michael C Bryan grew up in the 70s and 80s, queer, flamboyant, and full of light, in a world that told him he was too much, too different, and not a “real man.”In this raw, emotional, and often hilarious conversation, Michael shares the truth about growing up gay in a violently homophobic time, surviving sexual trauma, reclaiming his identity after being kicked out by his family, and what it really means to be a man today.We talk about:How gay men internalize shame around masculinityThe forgotten trauma of queer boyhoodReparenting your inner childWhy rage can be a creative forceAnd how emotional freedom is spiritual freedomMichael also leads a powerful guided visualization at the end of the episode that left me almost in tears.If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t belong in the “rules of manhood” you were handed, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. Full episode is now live.

Your home might be making you anxious, and you don’t even know it.In this first-ever documentary-style episode of The Optimist, filmed in partnership with Ozarke, Jake explores how something as simple as your lighting and décor can drastically affect your mental health, focus, and recovery.From cold, white fluorescent bulbs that trigger stress to warm, ambient light that helps your body relax, the way your space is designed might be quietly shaping how you think, feel, and perform every day.Featuring Alex Elsaadi, founder of Ozarke, this episode goes deep into how lighting impacts mood, productivity, sleep, and even sex, plus the design choices that can completely change your energy at home.If you’ve ever wondered why you feel drained in your own apartment or restless at work, this one’s for you.Timestamps00:00 — Intro: Why your environment matters more than you think03:00 — Alex Elsaadi: From oil & gas to lighting design06:00 — The science behind light and mood09:00 — Warm light vs. white light: what your brain prefers13:00 — Why bad lighting triggers anxiety16:00 — How lighting affects productivity and creativity20:00 — The simple home upgrades that change everything23:00 — Why your couch, coffee table, and lamp all matter26:00 — Smart lighting, circadian rhythm, and better sleep30:00 — How lighting impacts recovery and athletic performance33:00 — The psychology of lighting for sex and intimacy38:00 — Why most men underestimate their space44:00 — The small design details that completely shift your mindset48:00 — The hidden connection between home design and mental health52:00 — Final thoughts: your space is your nervous system

Most men aren’t depressed.They’re bored, comfortable, and missionless.Chris Griffin built one of the biggest podcasts in Australia and was nearly canceled for speaking his mind. Instead of backing down, he doubled down. In this brutally honest conversation, we talk about pain, purpose, authenticity, cancel culture, and the epidemic of weak men.This episode isn’t for the easily offended.It’s for anyone who’s tired of excuses and ready to take radical ownership of their life.⏱️Episode Timestamps:00:00 – Building the biggest podcast in Australia03:00 – Why the podcast industry is outdated05:00 – The truth about fame, money, and losing brand deals10:00 – Jake explains The Optimist and why modern masculinity is broken13:00 – Discipline, ownership, and mental toughness14:00 – The making of Chris Griffin: from small-town kid to global creator17:00 – The “curious educator” and how he found his purpose22:00 – Why blaming your parents keeps you stuck25:00 – Escaping victimhood and staying present28:00 – The problem with entitlement and soft culture31:00 – Getting canceled, owning your truth, and finding freedom33:00 – Why nothing is ever personal34:00 – Purpose, power, and The Alchemist36:00 – You don’t find your purpose — you evolve toward it37:00 – How to find your thing: authenticity over noise41:00 – Matthew McConaughey and the art of being yourself43:00 – Confidence, ego, and learning to be unfazed by chaos46:00 – Missionless men and the cost of comfort50:00 – The truth about pain, purpose, and personal accountability54:00 – What men and women actually want from each other01:03:00 – The rise of weak men and the confusion of modern masculinity01:07:00 – How to rebuild strength, purpose, and meaning01:20:00 – What it really means to be a man todayThis episode is a mirror.If you’ve been coasting, if you feel stuck, if you’re wondering where your fire went — watch this.Chris Griffin doesn’t hold back.And maybe that’s exactly what we need right now.🎧 Subscribe to The Optimist for more real conversations about modern masculinity, mental health, and meaning.

Ben Forest spent 25 years in the Air Force, rose to Lieutenant Colonel, and hit rock bottom.On Veterans Day, he walked into a hospital and told the nurse, “I want to die.”That moment changed everything.He quit his job. He left the military. And in one heroic dose of psilocybin, he found something he never thought he’d feel again…peace.In this conversation, Ben and I dive deep into psychedelics, masculinity, healing, and the emotional constipation that keeps so many men stuck.This isn’t a drug story. It’s a story about awakening, and what happens when men finally face themselves.00:00 – The day Ben almost ended his life07:00 – The “American Dream” that became a nightmare10:45 – Walking into the psych ward: the moment everything changed14:00 – The first psilocybin ceremony that rewired his life18:45 – What it feels like to release generations of pain22:00 – From military commander to spiritual seeker27:30 – Why psychedelics are so hard to describe32:15 – DMT, ego death, and seeing “God” for the first time40:00 – Why psychedelics help men feel again43:00 – Shame, masculinity, and the epidemic of emotional constipation46:15 – The courage to say “I’m sad”49:00 – The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek51:00 – Psychedelics as a rite of passage for men57:00 – The rise of “grandfather energy” and secure masculinity01:00:00 – The crisis of modern manhood01:07:00 – What rites of passage and adversity teach men01:15:00 – How men can heal men01:22:00 – What it truly means to be a manThis episode is a mirror.For men who’ve shut down. For men who’ve lost their fire.And for anyone ready to turn their pain into purpose.🎧 Listen now. Subscribe to The Optimist.Because healing isn’t soft. It’s dangerous.Episode Timestamps:

Alvaro Nuñez has done what most people would call impossible:- 7 marathons on 7 continents in 7 days.- A 6-day ultra in the Sahara Desert with a 35-pound vest.- A 3,000-mile bike race across America.- Ironman and Ultraman World Championships.But beneath the superhuman résumé is a much deeper story: one of heartbreak, vulnerability, mental health battles, and the raw conversations he had with himself in total darkness.In this episode of The Optimist, we talk about:- Why doing “impossible” things can’t just be about validation.- How to channel pain, anger, and heartbreak into fuel.- The Japanese concept of Misogi and why one impossible challenge a year can change your life.- What it means to be a man today and why listening might be the hardest challenge of all.Timestamps00:00 – Intro: Alvaro’s insane list of endurance feats05:40 – What Alvaro is really struggling with right now10:25 – Social media, validation, and emptiness16:40 – Finding your purpose: an engineer’s guide to your “why”23:55 – Silent retreats, darkness caves, and the hardest conversations with yourself32:10 – Vulnerability, fear, and turning lessons into action39:45 – The Japanese concept of Misogi: one impossible challenge a year49:20 – Race Across America: fighting for his father, not quitting, and finding a deeper why1:05:10 – Using heartbreak and betrayal as fuel1:17:30 – Why doing hard things matters for men and mental health1:28:15 – The Sahara Desert race: carrying the weight of depression—literally1:43:10 – Breaking big goals into small steps when everything feels impossible1:52:20 – The role of community and surrounding yourself with high achievers2:00:00 – What it means to be a man today: provide, protect, and communicate2:09:50 – The most powerful story Alvaro has never shared—saving a friend from suicide2:20:15 – Call to action: Who in your life needs you to really listen?

We live in a toxic world. Processed food, industrial chemicals, polluted air and water, stress, blue light, pharmaceuticals…the list goes on. Our bodies were never designed to handle this constant chemical assault.And yet, when we hear the word detox, most men dismiss it as a “feminine” wellness trend; juice cleanses, lemon water, and supplements that sound more like lifestyle accessories than survival tools.In this episode of The Optimist, I sit down with Meghan Swidler, holistic health and detox coach, to break down:- Why detox has been branded as feminine, and why that’s dangerous.- How toxins are silently clogging your system and destroying performance.- Why *real detox* isn’t about deprivation, but liberation.- Practical, science-backed steps you can take right now to reclaim your energy, focus, and vitality.If you’re a high-performing man who’s been ignoring detox, this conversation may hit you harder than you expect. Because the truth is: you can’t out-train, out-supplement, or out-hustle a toxic body.👉 Subscribe to The Optimist for more unfiltered conversations on masculinity, performance, and mental health.

We have a crisis on our hands.Most men walking around today look like men. They have jobs, relationships, and responsibilities…But emotionally they’re still operating as little boys. And it’s killing their ability to lead, to love, and to hold a safe frame in relationships.In this raw and unfiltered conversation, Jake sits down with men’s coach Ryan Moresby to break down:Why modern men never went through the essential rites of passage that turn boys into menHow this lack of initiation shows up in relationships, careers, and personal integrityThe subtle ways men outsource their emotional stability to women (without even realizing it)The dangerous ripple effects this has on families, children, and the future of our communitiesHow to start doing “the work” to reclaim your mature, grounded masculine energyThis is not a soft conversation. This is a wake-up call.If you’ve been coasting, hiding, or avoiding your own growth, this one is going to sting.But if you want to build the kind of life, relationship, and legacy you can be proud of… it starts here.Listen now. Then do something about it.

Ben Sharf is a Division 1 athlete turned founder, creator, and podcast host. But behind his calm confidence is a story of deep insecurity, fear of failure, and the relentless pressure to always do more.In this raw conversation, we dive into:The injury that derailed his hockey career and changed his identityHow one phone call almost made him quit the sport foreverWhy high-achieving men are often the most insecureSocial media, self-worth, and chasing validation in publicWhy success still doesn’t feel like successHis evolving relationship with therapy, presence, and masculinityThis episode is for the guy who feels like he should be happy, but can’t quite figure out why he still feels behind.You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through life. You’re not alone.

If you’ve ever seen someone intriguing at a coffee shop, networking event, or gym, but felt paralyzed about approaching them, this episode is for you.Jake sits down with psychologist and charisma expert Beggie Olafs to crack open the hidden playbook on confidently connecting with anyone, anywhere. They dive into the psychology behind why rejection terrifies us, how simple interactions can dramatically reshape your life, and tactical scripts you can start using immediately to engage with strangers in everyday scenarios.From mastering the gym approach (without being creepy) to breaking the ice at bars, grocery stores, or coffee shops, Beggie reveals practical, proven methods to overcome anxiety and build genuine connections.What if every stranger was a potential new friend, partner, or business collaborator? After listening, you’ll never see an interaction with a stranger the same way again.Listen in to learn:Why fear of rejection is rooted deeply in human evolution—and how to hack it.Simple, actionable conversation starters for everyday situations.How your energy can magnetically draw people to you.Why remembering names and telling compelling stories makes you unforgettable.Turn fear into excitement. Strangers are just connections you haven’t made yet.

Tens of thousands of you made a list. Now it’s time to go deeper.This episode is part two of the bucket list phenomenon, and it answers the questions you’ve been sending me in droves.What if I feel overwhelmed by a list this big?What if I don’t want to cross every item off?How do I know if it’s a goal… or just a distraction?And what if the scariest thing on the list is the most important one?I break down how this project has changed my life, how to think about your own list, and why the poster on my wall might be the single most powerful artifact I’ve ever created.Whether you’ve written your list or you’re still staring at the blank page…this one’s for you.Make the list. Live the life. You only get one.

Men are struggling. And most of us are doing it silently.Welcome to The Optimist; a podcast for people who want to live bolder, deeper, and more emotionally connected lives. Hosted by Jake Hurwitz, this series is part confession, part conversation, and part rebellion against the two extremes of modern masculinity: the hyper-feminine “feel your feelings” camp and the toxic red pill chaos.There’s a third path.One where men can be grounded, vulnerable, funny, messy, ambitious, emotional, disciplined, and wild…all at once.Each week, Jake sits down with world-class thinkers, coaches, athletes, and artists to explore the stuff we don’t talk about enough: heartbreak, identity, fatherhood, freedom, failure, adventure, legacy, emotional intelligence, and how to actually be okay.It’s not therapy. But it’s close.And it’s not just for men. It’s for anyone who gives a damn about the men in their life.Whether you’re in the gym, on a solo hike, rebuilding after a breakup, or just tired of pretending everything’s fine, this is your invitation to start getting real.New episodes weekly. Subscribe and join the movement.

Breakup coach. Philosopher in the woods.Cam King is not your average dude.And this is not your average conversation about masculinity.In this episode, we go deep into:Why so many men are quietly breaking down after heartbreakHow to actually move on (hint: it’s not another rebound)Cam’s rule for turning pain into powerThe real reason modern relationships are falling apartWhy men struggle to define who they want to become—and how to finally figure it outAnd the viral origin story of the “300 Things to Do Before You Die” bucket listWhether you’re navigating a breakup, trying to understand the men in your life, or rebuilding yourself from the ground up, this one hits hard.Cam helped me through one of the most confusing chapters of my life. And in this episode, we’re passing that torch to you.Listen to the full conversation and start rewriting your story.

Think your life isn’t interesting enough for the internet? Think again.In this raw, eye-opening conversation with creator economy expert JT Barnett, we dive headfirst into the biggest lie holding people back: the belief that their lives aren’t worth sharing. JT unpacks how every seemingly “ordinary” life contains extraordinary stories—and why it’s crucial to overcome self-doubt, embrace the cringe, and start creating content anyway.From overcoming panic attacks as a pro hockey player, to launching viral TikTok houses, JT reveals the vulnerable journey behind his success, proving that the only difference between you and the creators you admire is their willingness to put themselves out there.If you’ve ever felt your story wasn’t good enough for the spotlight, this episode might just change everything you believe about yourself—and what’s possible when you stop hiding and start hitting record.

In this episode, Caleb Ulffers joins Jake Hurwitz to explore a powerful mindset shift: Everything is Easy. From embracing rejection and stepping fearlessly into new experiences, to optimizing your life with mindfulness, style, and authentic leadership, Caleb delivers practical insights you can apply immediately. Caleb shares his personal journey of growth, overcoming major setbacks, and building a fulfilling life through intentionality and relentless curiosity. Whether you're starting fresh or seeking deeper clarity, this episode offers tools to optimize your mindset and build a purposeful life.

Danny Cortenraede is a successful investor, former media exec, and founder of InStudio Ventures — but this episode isn’t about business deals or exit valuations.It’s about balance.About fatherhood.About building a wildly ambitious life without sacrificing your health, your kids, or your peace of mind.In this raw and honest conversation, Danny shares the tools, systems, and mindset shifts that helped him move his family across continents, build a venture fund, and stay grounded in what really matters. We talk about marriage, money, kids, burnout, discipline, and how to design a life that’s both powerful and peaceful.

In this episode of The Optimist, I sit down with James Beshara; serial entrepreneur, investor, founder of Magic Mind, and host of Daily Vedanta, for a powerful conversation about what really drives us.We explore:- The hidden worldviews that shape every decision we make- Why ambition without peace leads to burnout- How ancient philosophy helped James recover after selling his company in a fire sale- The dangers of chasing success to prove your worth- And what it means to truly find your dharma — and build a life around itTimestamps00:00 – Intro & how this episode came together03:00 – James’ story of building Magic Mind & going caffeine-free05:00 – The intersection of masculinity, entrepreneurship, and philosophy06:30 – What is Vedanta? The philosophy of non-duality explained08:00 – How your worldview shapes everything (even if you don’t know it)12:00 – Peace vs. Prosperity: the two things we’re all chasing15:15 – Growing up with meditation, Descartes, and entrepreneurship19:00 – Building a $400M company—and what happened after it collapsed21:00 – The breaking point: depression, identity crisis, and ego death23:00 – Discovering Alan Watts and the philosophy that changed everything28:00 – Why most of us never articulate our worldview31:00 – Vedanta’s 3 internal tools: body, mind, and intellect34:30 – The “virus” of attachment — and how to overcome it36:10 – The one book James recommends to every founder38:00 – How to build emotional resilience through daily practice40:00 – Exposure therapy, knowing your level, and startup lessons44:00 – Don’t chase excitement — how to stay grounded47:00 – The danger of building from a place of proving yourself50:00 – How to find your dharma: what the world is asking of you53:00 – Why life really begins at 40 (and everything before is just research)57:00 – Dharma, individuation, and the key to real belonging1:00:00 – Your talent is what feels *easy* to you — don’t overlook it1:02:00 – Albatrosses, surfers, and the beauty of doing what comes naturally1:03:00 – Where to find James and what he’s building now---✨ Whether you’re building a company, rebuilding yourself, or just trying to stay present, this episode will move you.

I used to think bucket lists were kind of cheesy… until I made one.Then I printed it on a four-foot poster and hung it in my house.That one exercise completely changed how I see my life.In this solo episode of The Optimist, I break down how a simple homework assignment from a coach turned into the most profound and energizing thing I’ve ever done:creating a list of 300 things to do before I die.I’ll share:How I came up with the list (with a little help from ChatGPT)Why 300 is the magic numberHow I designed the poster and what happened when strangers at Kinko’s read itThe sniper rifle story (yes, really)And why this list has become my favorite tool for staying inspired, grounded, and excited about the future🎁 Want your own poster?The first 5 people who DM me their list — even if it’s messy or unfinished — I’ll design and ship you your very own version for free.No fluff. No coaching funnel. Just a gift from me to you.Make your list. Hang it up. Watch your life change.👉 Subscribe to The Optimist for more honest, human conversations on identity, ambition, and becoming who you’re here to be.

Why do breakups hit men and women so differently? And what does real healing actually look like?In this episode, Jake sits down with relationship coach Niki Van Houten for a raw, revealing conversation about heartbreak, emotional maturity, and the evolution of modern masculinity. They dive deep into the science and soul of breakups—why women often grieve earlier, why men stay distracted longer, and how both can learn to process pain without shame.Together, they unpack:- Why most men avoid feeling their grief (and what to do instead)- How to support your friends through breakups (without giving terrible advice)- Why it’s okay to not be “fully healed” before dating again- The difference between masculine & feminine energy—and how to balance them- How to consciously uncouple with love, respect, and growth- What every man should ask himself before trying to “glow up” post-breakupIf you’re navigating the end of a relationship, or supporting someone who is, this one’s for you. It’s not just about getting through heartbreak—it’s about becoming who you’re meant to be on the other side of it.