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When the relationship isn't moving and is no longer enjoyable, what's the next step? Is it possible you're incompatible, even though you've been together for years? I talk about a couple of relationship issues in this episode, along with answering a question about if there are appropriate episodes for children and young adults.
Some relationships are one-sided. Friends, family, and lovers can fall into the listing "relation-ship," where half the relationship is sinking while the other half is oblivious of the side that's slowly disappearing into the depths. A one-sided relation-ship is a sinking one. And it cannot sustain itself.
A boring conversation can make you fall asleep. Some people seem not to be concerned if you care about what they're saying. They'll just talk and tell stories while you sit there, hoping that the fire alarm goes off to save you. Or, is it you I'm talking about?
One path to happiness may involve being someone you may sometimes feel uncomfortable being: Yourself. Walking your talk, putting yourself into the world and speaking your mind has its consequences... and its massive rewards.
If you can go through life without getting weighed down by negative memories, you're already ten steps ahead of many people. Some people still have repressed emotions that sneak up on them, keeping them from gaining any momentum. When that happens, every step forward can seem like two steps back. Uncovering old, buried emotions can liberate you so that you can emotionally evolve into a more peaceful, and maybe even happier, place.
The path to vulnerability doesn't make sense if you believe being vulnerable means you're weak or you'll feel exposed to a cruel world. Yes, there are people you can't be vulnerable around. But there are also those you can and maybe should be if you want to develop closer bonds.   Vulnerability can be the scariest but most freeing thing to do. Don't waste your time trying to be someone you're not because you end up with a lingering drain that never goes away.
Do you get upset if someone doesn't thank you for something nice you did? Common courtesy may not be as common as we think, so if we take apparent ungratefulness personally, we could set ourselves up for disappointment time and time again. Also in this episode, I read a message from someone who can't let go of trauma and abuse from their past.
That one last fight you had with them changed the relationship forever. Some family does not forgive and move on. Some hold on to grudges and expect you to come groveling back. But if it's not your fault, should you? Do you want to reconnect but are waiting for them to apologize? If you have estranged friends or family, this episode may help you reconnect or accept that perhaps you may never be able to reconcile.
We've all experienced the blahs. Maybe you've even been depressed (or are now). Sometimes it's difficult to get out of a space like that. When you've tried everything, what's left? There's more to healing than books, podcasts, therapy, and even friends or family. There's a deeper part of you that you may not have even met yet. Maybe it's time you do.
The argument goes on and on... then you're arguing again about the same thing later. Why does it seem that some arguments never end? I explore the reasons why and other issues when it comes to relating to other people in this extended episode.
Some of life's challenges seem impossible and we feel stuck. We can believe we have no choice when we probably do, but just don't like the one we have to make. There's a lot to be said about which choices we don't make that hold us back and which ones we do make that move us forward. And our method of making a hard choice can often be dependent on how much we let fear guide the way.
What happens when you walk around in fear of being your true self? What kind of foundation of confidence do you have that can help you to show up as authentic? I take you through the risk of authenticity and how you can change your life if you're willing to accept those risks.
Sometimes there is so much to do and so many people to please that we lose ourselves doing everything for everyone but ourselves. It's time to reconnect and get back to who we are. That can seem like an impossible task sometimes but if we ignore it, we may become our own demise.
Our perception of the outside world is limited by the inner world we create. We only see what's inside our own box, sometimes not realizing there is so much more out there. I travel from perceptions to depression and even into addiction in this episode.
What do you do when you feel less about yourself than others feel about you? Somebody might think you're brilliant and clever but you might have the opposite feeling. You might even feel like a fraud.  The impostor syndrome is when you believe something different about yourself than what others know to be true about you. And when you can't see in yourself what they see in you, you could emotionally harm your self-worth and self-esteem.  #theimpostorsyndrome #selfworth
Some people are just so difficult or toxic that no matter what you say, you can't get through to them. It's not just a matter of getting through to them all the time. Sometimes it's just about responding in a way that throws them off their game.
Are you inadvertently allowing negativity into my mind and body? When someone puts you down or mistreats you, is it possible you are unintentionally enabling this behavior? You shouldn't be blamed for other people's bad behaviors, but you should also not be too tolerant of it either.
We can walk around with beliefs that lead us down the same road every time. When you know for sure what's true, yet you still get terrible results, maybe it's time to question what's true and look for what might be a possible new understanding that changes everything.
It's bad enough to get punished by someone else when you make a mistake, but to compound the suffering by punishing yourself can make things so much worse. Sure, we can beat ourselves up for our own actions, but when we make a habit of it, our quality of life decreases and it's hard to enjoy the present moment.
How many times do you hear I'm sorry and I promise I'll never do it again" before you realize nothing is going to change?  What if they do change? Can you reunite and start fresh and be good again? Today I talk about apologies, promises, relationships, and so much more.
Comments (177)

Mary

I'm so happy to reach out to your channel by searching the "psychology" term on the Castbox app. I've listened to 3 episodes of your channel yet and I can say they're terrific! Even though I'm not a native English listener I can understand 95% of your words. Your speaking style is fantastic enough to make me stay tuned during the whole episode. Thanks a bunch for your effort to make this channel. keep going and generate more useful podcasts. Be always safe.🌿 I wish you the best.🌱

Nov 2nd
Reply (1)

Raine

Excellent advice. I am in the "thick of it", and you've certainly echoed many of my thoughts and sentiments. I just discovered your site last night while reading about deep loss. Teen daughter died a few years ago, unexpectedly, and my brain has certainly been overwhelmed ever since. Your podcast is already a breath of fresh air and a beacon of light for finally working on rediscovering me apart from the toxic F&F who've been unable to support me these past few years since my child loss. I have a lot of people I'm no longer "trying" with, and just- This episode could have specifically been for me. 100% Thank you for your writing, sharing, and this podcast. You've reminded me of my worth.

Aug 30th
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Sophie G.

This episode felt like a friendly pat on the back 'cause in order to move, my husband and I have to literally give up all of our stuff, including books that I had kept from my childhood. A friend told me that it would be a pity to loose them and thx to your show, I answered, my head held high, that it would be a pity to loose my chance of being a better person. She thought I was nuts but I feel the turtle inside me has turned into a bird. So thanks for all the efforts you're putting into this show.

Jan 13th
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Joe White

There is no defending a cheater no matter what. You can't blame the person you cheated on. Why is this hard to understand for some people???

Dec 6th
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Sophie G.

Hey much better pronunciation 😁 btw, since you get listeners all over the world, (I'm making sure about it in Iran😉) you can check forvo.com whenever you're in doubt. Sorry, the mom side of me is back🤣

Nov 11th
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Venice Rowe

no. everyone is on a journey and they have to be the best version of themselves.

Aug 1st
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Sophie G.

The sense of ever growing and improvement is established when the host genuinely has the same spirit. Immensely greatful for keeping life fresh all over.🙏🙏🙏

May 19th
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luhkeebae

Excellent episode Paul! I love the idea you put forth regarding seeing your future self at the grocery store and being overcome with joy--you knew life was going to be alright at that point. It runs parallel to the concept, 'change your thoughts, change your life,' in that all one must do is believe and heavy burdens can be genuinely lifted from your shoulders. If you can believe it and perceive it, then it truly becomes your reality. Perception is reality and that truly matters if you want to change your outlook on life. I can see how someone might try to say the concept is too cheesy and superficial, but it's really not. If internalized deeply, you can change your life for the good by understanding and utilizing this. Thanks Paul! 💯 💛JamieTheOverwhelmedBrain

May 14th
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Sophie G.

What I absolutely love about this show is that Paul doesn't deceive his listeners claiming he has the ultimate solution and leaves the decisions to those who should make them for their own improvement. That I believe is the meaning of Liberty.

Apr 4th
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Stacey Willard

very timely podcast! Thanks again!

Jan 30th
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Sophie G.

Yet more seriously, what proof is needed to say that this show and your helping hand is nothing short of wonder since you have avid listeners from literally the other side of the planet?

Jan 13th
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Sophie G.

psst, you ARE a superstar 😁

Jan 13th
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Kati Florida

I feel like fears are much different when we have children. Our thoughts as parents are mostly based around our fears For our kids. What will happen to them if something happens to me?

Jan 12th
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luhkeebae

What an excellent & thoughtful episode, Paul! 💯 I am so thankful for your podcast--I cannot thank you enough! I find myself at a loss of words when I try to articulate the profound impact your podcast has had on my life. You are appreciated, Paul! 💛

Jan 7th
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Stu Cook

Great episode and that closing thought was totally relevant to me! 👍

Dec 23rd
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Stu Cook

Another incredibly helpful episode today. Practical and insightful as always. 👍

Dec 16th
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Stu Cook

A really, REALLY useful episode for me today! 👍

Dec 2nd
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Irna Spigariol

I love the podcast apart from the introduction which reminds me of a tele marketing advertisement.

Nov 30th
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Irna Spigariol

I understand letting go and it's given me a lot of peace

Nov 30th
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Sophie G.

15min into the show I had to stop it to dry my face from all the mixed tears of joy and pain to say thank you so much. I'm sure a lot of your listeners feel the same, like they're in a conversation but this episode came up in one of my darkest hours. May you have Midas hands without the undesirable side effects. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Nov 29th
Reply (2)
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